How to Discover Your Authentic Self -- at Any Age | Bevy Smith | TED
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- Опубліковано 17 тра 2024
- In a talk packed with wry wisdom, pop culture queen Bevy Smith shares hard-earned lessons about authenticity, confidence, mature success and why, if you put in the work, "life gets greater later."
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• How to Discover Your A...
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Don't settle.
Make peace with aging.
Don't second guess decisions.
Don't compare to others.
Growth/maturity is intellectual and emotional.
Extend grace, remove malice.
Be yourself, don't suppress yourself
...who am I at my core?
...how am I being perceived?
...how do I love to be perceived?
It gets greater later
Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
This comment should be pinned 👏🏾🫰🏾
The best comment 🤞🏾🙏🏾
@@chesityedwards8153 AGREED!! Even wrote it in my journal ❤
“ Their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness. “
-Bevy Smith
Yeah, that line has really stuck with me…great line
Story:
8:24
Emotional growth:
9:04
Self-help ritual:
9:30
🎉🎉Faxx
🙌
Yea that's the poi I thought she said wings though lol
"I'm also not worried about my future because I'm firmly rooted in the present" - Bevy Smith
Your presents already 15 seconds gone
Yep, that was what she said in this actual video.
I think I've said something familiar before.
how do u plan for the future if u never think about it thooo??
Bevy you are incredible! I just quit my job. I’m 38. Not settling and running to my dream!! You are an inspiration!
"When you remove malice from your heart, not only do you feel good, you look good" I love this
She’s a natural. This was a great Ted Talk. Truly worth every minute.
@@captain_context9991 There are more domains to life than intellectually fueled conversation, and I appreciate that Ted-Ed hosts various events among a bunch of fields.
@@captain_context9991 that’s top emotional management stuff… the top intellectuals get sidestepped by top emotional management daily
@@captain_context9991 seriously? Uh, sure
@@captain_context9991 probably not anything that would interest you
@@captain_context9991 you can take away something from anything. Just because you think you already know or have heard it before doesn't mean you can't take away a good message from it. Sometimes even the simplest things, if explained by in different ways, hit you differently. You never know what will grab you.
But maybe that's just my view on life. I'm not one of those people who think I know everything or disregard advice from people taking the time to give it. But you do you.
"If you dream regardless of age, you will continue to be young."
I like this
I will never stop dreaming....big.
Absolutely!!!✌️💗
Exo-L?
"Haven't had a dream in a long time.
Seems the life I had, would make a good man, bad."
The Smiths
At a time where we’re being told (especially as women) that you don’t matter after 25 and you should live for a man, or your children:This conversation is so necessary! Well done Bevy! 👏🏾
"a man is not a plan"
Blaming people (men) for your life shortcomings is not the answer. Do the inner work and hold yourself accountable to find your own life solutions.
@@Chery869 Not blaming men, not sure where you got that. Celebrating self-reliance.
@@Chery869 u obviously didnt read what she said u just wanna be combative
Indeed
Oh my God! I’m a 46 year old woman starting a business. This is exactly what I needed at this time. Awesome 👏
Get It 👏
Bless your business!
How is your business venture going?
Yessss go be your best self. The world needs you🤸🏻♀️
Wherever you at now, you got this!
I am 37 and finally realizing that I have to invest in my self and mental health or else it will be my Demise. I have made drastic changes and by sticking to them and not feeling guilty I am definitely looking and feeling better.
38, and realizing the same
@@sunshinesunflowerz1647 I'm so very proud of you!
38 and same guys! Yay us!!! At least we got here ❤️
36, and same.
@@melssf7451 yay!! So proud of you ❤
I’m in a transitional phase of my life at 51, and Bevy’s talk was just what I needed!
I’m turning 50 this year and I’m in transition also. We’ve got this💪🏾
Have you read her book. Better yet, please invest on the Audible version. You will jot be disappointed. Aa a 54 yrs young woman, after listening to her, I slowly started to climb out of my somewhat reserved shell. Her book was a definite boost for me. Have a great life.🙋🏽♀️
@@EvolvingwithEtta Her book is fantastic. I've read it several times, and the audio is just like sitting right next to her.
@@stanwilliams7932 Yes, I agree! I loved it!
Yes! Me too!
Raised by narcissistic parents mandated that I be who THEY wanted me to be, so knowing who my authentic self was all but impossible. I became a people pleaser with no clue how to please myself. At 57, I am hoping to be ‘greater later’. Thank you for your insight.
Getting ready to turn 54 soon! I feel the same. Go for it!!
🙏🏼❤️
I can relate.
It's exhausting dealing with a narc mother!
I am done
Loved this talk
1)Who am I at my core?
2)How am I being perceived?
3)How do I love to be perceived?
!
Question : how do you make people perceive you the way you want to be perceived? :/
@@yu-a9596 this is a great question the truth is all one can do is portray yourself how you wish to be perceived.. if you wish to be perceived as hardworking - work hard if you wish to be perceived as confident be confident !!
@@yu-a9596 we have the same name and I wanted to ask the same question crazy right?!
@@yu-a9596 be that person wholeheartedly Which will require being vulnerable. But also understand that some people may never perceive you in a way you may want them to but its ok. That doesn't define who you are.
In the most perfect timing, this came to me. I am certainly at a point in my life where I’m choosing me. I’m rediscovering what I love and advocating for myself and making choices without regret. It’s liberating and as always a journey of unknowns but I am certain that I will live my life and not be miserable!
🥰🙌
Exactly how I feel at...(Wait for it)...67 y/o! I pray it's not to late. That, (that boat) has sailed.
No more people-pleasing Dee! Done. Period, full stop.❤️
Im with you Sis 🙌🏾
Right there with you! Power on!
I'm so happy for you! I'm also trying rediscover myself, but without result by far, any advice?
I turned 24 about two months ago, and since then I’ve been questioning my existence a lot. And I’m so happy with fact that now that I’m finally discovering my true authentic self I feel at peace, my anxiety levels went DOWN. I feel like I’ve been set free and I have this strong and intense love for myself that I can’t even explain. I’m very excited for what is yet to come.
High five to this wonderful lady!🥰🙌 I'm 58 and will not settle! I love life too much! When I hand my life back to God at the end of my human journey, I want to hand back a life lived well and fully!🙌🙌🙌
Yes
But you believe in God so you have settled for accepting God despite the absence of any creditable evidence to the contrary.
Amen 👌
Yes! Love this comment!
Love how you put that! YES! ✨🤎
One of the most honest Ted talk I heard recently, she's unapologetically cool & that's the quality I want in myself. Lately I've been contemplating & trying to achieve the things. It's really keeping me tossing and turning in night, I'm highly anxious but I'm trying my best to do because I know I'm never late
Its literally what she said tho, be rooted in the present, it took her 55 years to be where shes finallyu happy ! youll always be on time because youre the author of your own story, keep up the good work
I’m in a transitional point in life at 50 as I discover what I’m most passionate about…what’s next for me. Bevy’s talk was inspiring and right on time. Cheers to “It gets greater later”!
Cheers Indeed!🍷🥰
Amen Girl
Yes, I am 50 and I feel the same way. 😃
"I learned how to be alone without feeling lonely" that's the goal.
This IS MY FAVORITE TED TALK! I have never felt more at home with a speaker and learned more and felt like a speaker was more real and authentic with their audience. That is near impossible. How profound her wisdom and work is. And how achievable she makes us feel like it is!
OUTSTANDING.
Authentic. Replayed. Listened multiple times. Relevant. Action steps. Witty, clever, helpful, entertaining, enlightening. Would have loved to see her live! THANK YOU.
This is amazing!! "Their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness, to thine own self be true! Nobody can be you but you, so you might as well show up, and show out!"
I love how she speaks so naturally, like she's sitting with and next to you. One of my favorite Ted Talks
Late bloomer her at 50. Still figuring out who I am. Been working everyone else's dreams so I really don't have one. I have recently felt a desire to travel, live from an rv and be free but no idea how to provide this financially. I am setting these intentions to the universe and jeering my eyes open for opportunities. Bless you all on your authentic journeys.
I think that's beautiful. All the good energy to you, Home Team, as you keep moving with that direction.
Same here…🤷♀️
I pray for guys that the universe will deliver your needs.❤️
I hear you… being a natural “pleaser”, I have used all my talents, skills & time to help my husband, kids and even friends get what they want without never REALLY knowing what I want. At 42, I feel the clock ticking and realizing with every year, opportunities are “falling in my lap” very rarely. We have to make our own opportunities and remember that age gives us wisdom and power we didn’t have in our 20s or even 30s. We need to quit settling and USE what we’ve learned to make it happen ❤️❤️‼️
This Ted has deeply resonated with me and where I am in my life at the age of 38. Bev is right, when you lead with grace in your heart and spirit, you become youthful again. When you truly ask yourself if you want half of the things that society is breaking their necks to have, you realize the answer is no. You remove so much pressure from yourself when you honor how you truly feel and go against the "status quo". I am so much more happier and fulfilled in my life now. The journey continues, and it does get "greater later"! Peace and Blessings to you all.
"I learned how to be alone without being lonely". ❤
The hardest critic is one's self. Thanks for sharing how to do the work to let one's authentic self shine!! 👍🏽❤🔥
Ahhhhh I loved this so much. I turned 34 this year and I'm focused on reinventing myself. Seeing 22 yr olds on social media living their full dreams.... man it makes me feel like it's too late for me or I waited too long so why bother. This really spoke motivation into my spirit! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
This was perfect. One week before my 39th birthday, this is exactly what I need to hear. Thank you, Bevy!
I feel you on this one. 39 hits a lil different.
It has rubbed off on you ....truly !
I Love you and your Mom ,
Thanks for the confidence says this 52-year-old white man living in a camper in the VA parking lot because his roommate died 5 years ago.
But you know what I have time to watch this now and I have time to learn things from people like you and apply them to my life when I see fit and I think my creator for that whom I've also gotten to know much better now that I have many reasons to talk to him everyday and no matter what happens I'll continue to take the time to learn and to speak with my maker .
With honor and respect ,
A.V.W
Infinite love and peace to u Anthony. Stay strong
🙏🙏❤️❤️live your beautiful life!!
Thx you for your courage to share
Bevy shares her incredible experiences and insights transparently with us. The story in this Ted Talk resonates with me in many ways. You deserve our gratitude for your knowledge, courage, and the transparency you have demonstrated. You are simply divine.
Well said!! I stand 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
30 seconds in and I kid you not, I got chills from hearing her talk. I don't know if its because the message is so relevant to where I am in my life right now but I 1000% needed and enjoyed this TED talk.
“Take a note, give a note. Their win has nothing to do with my worthiness.” That really resonated with me. Love it ❤️. Thanks a lot for sharing. God bless you.
Bevy and her talk embody grace, power and humility. Will listen over and over, everytime I need a pick me up, to laugh, and to remind me who I am. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and little brown Bevy with the world
Wow such a good good talk. What hit home for me--suppressing oneself. I have took on so many identities to please others, I don't even know myself. No more suppressing myself, because I Am Good Enough As I Am.
This was SOOOOO GREAT I’m 40 and I started looking at my life in a somewhat unsettling approach feeling like I’m not where I would like to be at this point in my life after seeing this and listening to this TED clip has opened my heart and eyes to see my life different SELF LOVE is my main focus Thank you MS. Bevy
The reason I really love this is because I believe envy is so dangerous. It is the main killer destroying a lot of people, esp. now on social media, and has caused much destruction within my own family. What a relevant topic she brings! Actually explaining where envy comes from and how to remedy that. Thank you, Bevy! ♥
Wow! I loved everything about this TedTalk Bevy. At 58, I'm learning to be my authentic self. I'm still trying to learn what it is that makes me happy. I always knew I was a late bloomer. Thanks for this inspiring, real talk!
This whole message is beautiful, and I’m glad Bevy shared her story. I’m a 31 yr old caregiver in all of it’s misery and glimpses of goodness, so I’ve definitely felt like a late bloomer. I’ve spent the past few years overcoming pessimism by incorporating positive thoughts constantly until I believe it, and I’ve fought fears that I never knew I have (partially due to my bf, but because of my choices too). I’m an over thinker, so even though I’m not as old as Bevy or others; I still get hard on myself for not being able to see myself clearly yet. I want to age like fine wine, and enjoy the rest of my life. It’s really okay for us to feel like late bloomers, and we’re right on time ❤.
❤
"I like an authentic connection" 👏👏💪❣️🙏💖
it’s so inspiring yet very entertaining! I feel I needed to watch this. I’m only 26yo but I’ve felt like my life is about to end because I haven’t had many chances, but lately I’ve realized I need some inner healing and know myself better and I’ve been in that pathway since last year. gonna put those questions in practice to not forget who I’m looking for: myself. ❤️
You are on the right path and I encourage you to continue being you the positive person that you are
You're on your way! Just keep staying positive. So 😍 proud of you for being willing to keep pushing through to the bright side in spite of what you've been through. You will make it! Self healing is the first step.
You got this. One thing that helps me is closing my eyes and seeing myself as a little girl, in those times where I felt hurt and sad and talking to my younger self and letting her know that all will be alright and all will work out. You got this. One day at a time. God bless you❤❤
Me too girl, me too 🥰
I am passing trought the same situation i do not know what i like , what to study it's do frustrating i want to be happy and find the best version of myself discover the job that won't feel as a job... any advice?
What an inspiring story for the people like me! It's never too late to change your path and find another way to your personal self-satisfying success! Thank you, Bevy!
Absolutely the best Ted Talk that I’ve completely resonated with. And I completely agree with you. Many blessings to you on your path. The Universe is surely blessing you!! And I’ve said for years that life keeps getting better because we are learning about how much we are important first to help others after we have taken care of ourselves. Keep on Keeping on!!!
When you said “ Little Brown Bevy, I love her” it made me tear up. I felt that 🥰😍😘
" I am right on time because it gets greater later " I love it! Shows if you just continue to work hard on what you love to do, your time will come 💛
One of my favorite talks for sure. Bevy just keeping it real!
Girl thankh you!!! It us def getting greater, later!!! I'm 60 and stepping into a new attitude!!!
i’m only 5 minutes in and her story telling and aura is just so refreshing. she’s breaking chains just by existing. gon girl!!
It is so important to walk boldly in my truth. It's so freeing! 💜
1. Who am I at my core?
2. How am I being perceived?
3. How do I want to be perceived?
I met Ms. Bevy at a restaurant and she has such a kind spirit.💜
Her stage presence is amazing. I felt carried along by her words, if that makes sense - she has great pacing. This was a very down-to-earth talk, which is how I think speeches on life advice should be. I'll definitely be listening to this one more than once!
Wow Bevy you did an amazing job!!! Representation matters and I’m sooo glad you showed up as your full authentic self! This was good!!!
Yes I loved how I felt like I was listening to my aunty drop knowledge and not my mom in her corporate work voice/persona. No code switching required loved that!
Complimenting the other person and extending grace is something I'm glad I started doing
I adore her spirit, just hearing her talk gives me confidence.
Absolutely the best and most inspiring presentation I've seen on TED Talk and the most timely message to get when I'm almost 55 yrs. Thank you, Miss Bev! 🙏
Her book Bevelations is so inspiring and helpful. She's the auntie I always needed
Very much needed at this time! 3 months ago I moved from one of the largest, busiest, well-known cities in the US to a small, slow city down south. I simply wanted to, and no one can understand the logic behind it. I love being adventurous, I love newness. I realized a few weeks back that it's time for me to do more self discovery, that it's time to relearn myself. We change ALL THE TIME. I'm at the cusp of something new and I'm intentionally taking time out over these next few weeks for self discovery. This was right on time💓
Thank you for this. My professor sent me to this channel for an assignment and you popped up. Being as I believe in that things happen for a reason, you sure are that reason. I’ve been going through some tuff moments where I’m feeling when’s it gonna end or stop because I’m tired of feeling this way and coming across your video gave me a boost. I’m 37 and it’s ok that I’m not exactly where I want because what I’ve been through might just be what will place me to where I need to be. I just need confidence in myself and not just tell others to take the step they want/need, but actually do for me. I tell my mom things at times because I know she cares about those around be and I always get the same reply, “You can tell others what they need to hear for that boost, but why can’t you do that for yourself?” And she’s right. Why can’t I? So, I’m really glad my professor sent me here. You gave me inspiration for my next submission for class and I thank you for that since I needed a boost in myself.
I so appreciated this talk Bevy Smith! God bless you! I will be 55 this October and I am definitely on my own journey as well. Thank you for your transparency and for not being afraid to be authentic!
I'm 39 and in a mental funk with very off days. I'm having these huge moments of reflection and trying to figure out so many parts of my life and the things I want to connect with about myself. I really needed this today.
This is a great talk Bevy. You’re a natural speaker and thoroughly entertaining. The message is so encouraging, feeds my hope. Thank you 😊 and wish you all the best
I’m 26 and don’t know why I felt my life was over, but I realized it’s how I was raised. I have to constantly face life in a beautiful yet enjoyable way! I haven’t been surrounded with many vibrant uplifting women, I’ve always seen women feel sorry for themselves and I fought against that because I always felt powerful and I’ve ALWAYS gotten kickback for not wanting to settle, this was definitely my confirmation
"I learned how to be alone without being LONLEY" ! Mannnn did that hit me to my core
The more we work on our own selves, the more our circumstances and overall lives change. The more we grow and invest into ourselves, the more we will see a transformation, especially how we better communicate with others. You got this, I believe in you and invest into YOU! Best investment you can ever do is in yourself for your family, others, and your future! 💯% back guarantee return on your investment! Have a great day! 🚀🎉❤️
Only for the rich. Life is a pay gate. If you don't have the coin, you simply cannot join.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
🥰🙌
I love this and I love her! Her dreams are similar to mine. Her fears and beliefs are similar to mine. I'm getting older. I turned 40 this year. It messed with me sometimes. But! I also have this deep seeded belief that beauty and wisdom come with age. Most of the people I look up to, and respect the most are much much older than me. My dad also told me, all my life, "don't settle"... And there are so many times I feel like I have. But then my mama comes in my mind and tells me "you made your bed, now you gotta lay in it"... Isn't life just one life lesson after another?? I pray to get where she is one day. I pray to find my own "little brown Bevie" and discover who I am, not who I've created myself to be. Ok, I'm done. I just really needed to hear this right now. 💜
40 too and getting there;)
“Getting greater later”... This is wonderful to know!
Inspirational for me!! Not talking about the fears of a career transition made me feel alone. Amazing to hear this and not feel like I’m the only one. I’ll also absorb the confidence as I strive to be greater later.
Just what your soul needs (at any age)! Amazing Ted Talk! 💜
Absolutely love this! One of the most appreciated TED Talks I’ve watched! Thank you Bevy Smith 😊😊😊
"At my core, i like to authentically connect with people "...i love the vibes hier and i resonate too... thanks for the amazing talk Bevy....
11:52 great talk, great questions
Who am I at my core?
How am I being perceived?
How would I like to be perceived?
Later is Greater ! Late bloomers Rock! .. don’t settle! Great lines from a great Talk! Thanks Bev!!
For years I wasn't true to myself; I've found out, with new perspective, that I didn't love myself. My life spiraled with alcoholism (my respite from self,) married an abusive man and found myself serving six months after trying to defend myself. What did a 33-year-old divorced felon, living back with her parents have to offer? Turns out, everything! I've been sober for nearly ten months, I'm on track to law school, will be starting my internship with the public defenders office, have returned to writing and editing as my hustle, highlighting my incredible strengths...but most of all, I know me. I know my fears were navigating my life, my relationships and my motivations. I feared it was too late but now I know everything happened at the right time. Thank you for this! Please keep passing on grace.
I am so glad that I watched this. I am currently considering leaving a solid career with a good salary, a pension, and health benefits to pursue a path that aligns with my authentic self. I’m 42, and it’s time.
@37 years old I learned to live my authentic self at 35 this is blessing me immensely I’ve seen her on many things and didn’t know her background . Refreshing !
Listening to this as I work on a report at work, I appreciate everything that your saying!! You have a gift for sure!
What an amazing talk! Truly authentic and down to earth. This hits home as I just turned 50 this year and realizing that being true to myself is so much more important than trying to impress anyone else. Finding what makes me happy & thriving despite what society "tells" us. Very powerful realization!
absolutely loved every second of this! there’s so much warmth in her aura and lively wisdom in her insight. id love to hear more from her!
Wow, what a Ted Talk! 👏 Her story, her message including her examples of presence was absolutely delightful
she's so right... gen z acts like life is over at 30. it makes me so sad... 30's was when life finally starts getting better and my brain chemistry settled down lol
Wow thank you.I am 26👌 .I panic at times because I am just getting my life together.
@@moma5232 i'm 34. i wouldnt go back to my 20s if you paid me. i'm still trying to get my life together but i've never been in a better place mentally for that kind of struggle. when i think about being 26 in 2014 i think about how i was soooo young and figuring myself out. its ok to take time. flowers dont bloom all year. your 30s will be surprisingly steady and clear i promise. dont listen to what they say. if youre worried about wrinkles or have sun damage start using retinols now so you can stay confident. 30's is amazing, but maybe the 20's panic is necessary lol its a crazy world now. go easy on yourself you got this!!
@@oreides Thank you.I feel great after reading this comment.
Absolutely LOVED this!
You're at your best Bevy!!
Bevy you've just opened the hearts and minds of more people then you can imagine. What a lovely, heart warming authentic talk. Thank you for being honest about your past, that's not always easy but makes us like you even more. Wonderful. I could go on but hey, as you say *it gets greater later*
I liked the phrase " because it gets greater, later👌"
I just made a comment a moment ago.... And I have to leave another....... She was amazing. A great speaker...... She's absolutely great.... And I will listen and enjoy any more of her Ted Talks.
Bevy...you are an inspiration to everyone who is afraid of change, afraid to take a risk, afraid to express a different view. I have always lived my authentic life. Feisty, fearless! Thanks also to my own amazing Mom. Blessings and Love.💙💜💚🙏🙏
She is so funny and speaking facts 🤣❤️ , love this energyyyy
She caused me to put my study of glycolysis down and do a self-assessment!
Loved this talk. She is a force of nature. Love her
Her character and energy is also the talk itself she slayed that stage 🙌🏻👑
Kept hitting the like button, 👍🏾 every time she had a nugget that spoke to my core. She and her mum reminds me of my mother and her ways. This was the long awaited TED Talk I needed this season! Thank You Bevy Smith!
Oh wow ! I watched the road to ep on her youtube channel first. So heartwarming to see her soar. This is such a fun, witty & heartfelt talk, perfect reflection of her character ! Very inspiring
❤Love this! Love Her! That "where do you get your confidence from.." statement really hit me. I have a music video on my page and just because I am curvy someone assumed that I couldn't really love myself. I had someone comment that they admired my "vulnerability". I wasn't being vulnerable, I was being myself. Right on Bevy, don't settle❤
Awesome. Thanks for sharing.
💃🏿❤️
What a treat! A beautiful honest talk
I needed this. "It gets greater later." Thank you, Bevy.
I was immersed at Bevy's first word. How fantastic. Such an inspiring message. Thank you Bevy.
I’ve listened to this at least 10 times in the last 3 days. Bevy, thank you for sharing your story. It was certainly what I needed to hear.
You lift my spirit. I hope I’m not settling!
Three Questions:
1. Who am I at my core?
2. How am I perceived?
3. How would I like to be perceived?
WOW 🤩.. I rarely catch TED Talks and realize “a little late to this party” 😂
This was INCREDIBLE and packed with POWER and TRUTH 🙌
I will be keeping on replay until it saturates my soul and every cell of my being!
Thank you Bevy, you are fabulous and I love that you know it!!! 💎
I loved her vulnerable honesty and relatable ness! Thank you, Bevy, that was eye opening and extremely entertaining and riveting.
Man I loved this soooooo much! THANK YOU Bevy!
Thank you Bevy!! You are powerful in your authenticity!!