'Nice Guy' Syndrome & Drawing Boundaries: What Girls Need to Know - Episode 187
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- Опубліковано 21 сер 2024
- Our new book She Deserves Better:
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Article on the problem with “Nice Guy” behavior when it’s rooted in entitlement
www.independen...
Our episode of Theology in the Raw with Preston Sprinkle (the interesting parts are from 30 minutes on)
theologyinther...
All of the parents out there who are upset with handing out "participation trophies" for their school age children are the same parents who would declare that a guy deserves an "atta-boy" from a girl for the most minimal accomplishments or niceties.
This spoke to me so much❤
The beginning made me wonder… would you two ever consider talking about the obsession with martyrdom in evangelicalism? I have a lot of trauma I’m healing from, from being told at a young age that I could be made to die at any moment for Jesus. It made me afraid to go in public for years without anxiety. And I felt so much guilt for being conflicted about that.
As an adult, I now wonder why I would have had to prove my love for Jesus by dying when His sacrifice was literally that He died so that we could live.
That anxiety around that subject is something I’m still working through. I would love to hear you both speak on it more if you felt comfortable.
This is a great discussion point!
I used to have nightmares as a child
My experience with a socially shy guy in my friend group/youth group at church: he was a short Asian guy, who seemed pretty nice, until he did something that forever branded "desperately horny weirdo". He approached one of us girls alone and asked if she wanted to make out. She said no thanks, he then asked if she'd just kiss him, cause he'd never had one before. He mentioned dating at first but then, didn't want to take no for an answer. He then basically Started begging for a kiss....not attractive and creepy!
Otherwise he was generally nice, But it was inappropriate behavior! (We were all about 15-16 not that young)
This. This is what I am slowly unlearning as a married 30-year-old woman. This is what I want my children to know (if I’m blessed with them). Thank you, “Charlie’s Angels” for all the work you do. ❤
Guys who need to feel like they're the smartest and best at everything in the room are super insecure! One of the first things my husband told my MIL about me when we first started dating was that I'm smart, scary smart and he liked that. I do not think I'm smarter than my husband in general - in some things I am and in some he is, but we respect each other and are secure enough to defer to each other in subjects where the other person knows more. That's healthy! I always hated girls who pretended to be dumb when guys are around.
~48:00 - there is a real problem w an author giving one of the angrier, or most toxic boys/men in the room a platform, as if he's making a valid point. He is not. And 2, ~48:45 - Frankly, I'm having a hard time not being angry these days. Esp because even when I do take pains to teach these lessons to my sons, if the dad, or the men at church*, or the males online don't support this message, my voice is likely to be drowned out.
*This is actually 1 factor in why I do not take my kids to church anymore
The girl with the rock collection would have been my middle school son’s SOUL MATE! 😂😂
(He has grown past that somewhat. The thought just made me laugh.) 😁
So happy I found you yesterday.. beginning the "deconstruct" I already feel my self esteem and wellbeing improving ❤
Merch with the 3 of you in a Charlie's Angels pose!
LOVE IT!!! ❤
egads, those quotes from Shaunti Feldhan - if I didn't know she was an actual person I'd guess that an incel was ghostwriting under that pseudonym😲
Okay, haven't listened to the whole thing yet, but one of you said something like "girls are expected to treat boys like they're superheroes" and that reminded me of a recent thread of comments I read on an instagram reel about raising boys (I have 3 boys so I'm trying to figure out how to raise good, sensistive men) and I was shocked at the internalized misogyny ( I think that's what it's called anyway) from women in the comments talking about how they are a literal powerlifter but at home they avoid lifting anything and have their boys or husband do it for them and feign being weak so that their boys will grow up to "protect them". One woman even said she acted dumb and oblivious about safety while traveling abroad and her 6 or 7 year old boy was anxious and on the lookout for pick pockets. Which just made me sad because why put that anxiety on a child? You are the adult here, not them. Ugh. Sorry. Needed to vent. Those comments didn't sit right with me. I'm not going to act like I can't open a pickle jar so my 8 year old thinks he's stronger than his mother (an actual example given by a mother). Boys do not need to be raised thinking if a woman is stronger than them that's bad and girls don't need to pretend to be less in order to make boys feel better. As a kid I was intimating to all the boys because I could beat them at arm wrestles. I never fit in with the girls either, and I still struggle finding a place in social situations, but I'm learning again to stop trying to change who I am to fit in. The times I have done that have not turned out well lol
Excellent, thank you ladies 😊
What so many people fail to understand is that Christ-like "love" really amounts to desiring and working toward what is best for someone. Sadly, many people have been taught to ignore what is best for themselves (like maintaining their own physical and mental health, among other things), while others take the idea of "loving yourself" as license for self-indulgence. Both are serious mistakes.
Incidentally, the second greatest commandment first appears in Levitcus 19:18 _(NIV)_ : "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord." To my knowledge, this is the only time in the Old Testament where this command is stated explicitly, though much of the rest of the Law and Prophets deals with practical applications of this principle (i.e. _how_ to love your neighbor as yourself).
Loved this one! Thanks for doing it! I would love part 2 -just putting it out there. 😊Thanks again!
"At least guys *just react* to stuff with their testosterone"???? In my experience, testosterone-fueled reactions are often VERY BAD, even evil! They are either sexual harassment or worse, OR they are rage-filled outbursts that are often violent!
Do you have a page reference for the _Lies Young Woman Believe_ comment @12:27?
Young girls in my church are reading this in Sunday School, and while myself and some friends voiced concern, we weren't able to voice our concerns well.
Page 93!
That Survey Question from the Feltman book was faulty. There were too many variables in the question. She should have isolated her questions to one issue per question.
❤❤ excellent
this is so funny because I would want to be bff with Rebecca AND I kinda think rocks are cool. LOL