I feel like Kimbot could have connected with Wednesday in a lot of ways. If she asked about hobbies and found a way to mention her roadkill collection I feel like Wednesday would have clicked with her a LOT more
True. All the"Wednesday"reactors I've seen were like:"Eeww.Creepy/suspicious.X-S"when they found out Kinbott's hobby,while all I thought when I saw it was:"I bet Wednesday would like this!Why don't you tell her?You could finally bond,perhaps!😆You just need to make your compositions a bit darker...😉"Now that I think about it,they might not have agreed on that hobby either because Kinbott was all about happy Polly Pocket kind of scenarios while Wednesday is more the"Mighty Max"type....😉💀
True, but I don't think Kimbot would ever have opened up about her hobby because she kept hobby hidden behind a closed door. Wednesday, one the other hand, desn't hide her creepiness - she wears it like a badge of honor and doesn't care what anybody thinks about it.
When I saw a child therapist, I was quiet and thought I wasn't going to change. Then, he wanted to play board games. I fell for it. I played so many board games. Without realizing I was getting therapized
The therapist that my kids had so many games for them to play. Their dad is a narcissistic abusive alcoholic. The sessions are probably why the one loves chess so much
I also went to a therapist who played games with me, but in the end they said that I wasn't getting anything out of it and so I wasn't to come back anymore. I didn't have any friends so it was a bit sad, I was always happy to play and then I had no one to play with anymore again. I have since been told I "present well", especially to older people, and that I'm on the autism spectrum xD
I think the biggest problem is that Kinbott, since this is a first session brought up the mystery novels without asking Wednesday first. This is a first session. She invaded Wednesday's privacy. That shows lack of boundaries. And if she's trying to say what Wednesday is doing wrong, because it breaks boundaries, etc. Isn't she modeling bad behavior? If she wants trust, then she should have asked about hobbies, etc and let Wednesday bring up her novels herself rather than forcing them on her.
Exactly! That's what I was thinking all the time as well. She's soo bad with boundaries and respecting Wensday's privacy, what response she did expect other than leaving through the window?😁
In her defense, it was as part of Wednesday's psych evaluation which was court-mandated, so this wasn't a regular patient-therapist situation, there was always gonna be some level of enforcement involved. They also skipped a lot of steps bc of story pacing, there was a point that needed to be made in this episode and with very little time for the therapy sequence so they made the therapist cut to the chase.
Part of the issue was that Wednesday didnt give permission for her manuscripts to be sent to Dr Kinbott, she was also feeling the betrayal there as well. And the relationship is set up as adversarial from the start, which isnt going to work.
I work with clients in a specialized program in prison and I feel something similar happens there. Except instead of private writings, it is their criminal case that we already have access to. And we have specific goals from the court we have to work towards. I can see this in Wednesday’s sessions too, as she is court mandated instead of seeking out help herself. We often have to work with building a therapeutic alliance, which I would say is the matching he talked about, while also helping the clients findfind their motivation and goals within the limits of what they’re in therapy for.
“I don’t travel well” is one of my favorite clap back lines of the show. It was such a quick comeback that I found funny. Jenna absolutely killed this role
Kinbot reminds me of the first therapist I saw. I was 14 and struggling with panic attacks as well as being deeply depressed. Someone working at my school eventually called my parents and asked them to find a therapist before it was too late. The one they found made… an impression. The first few seconds of the first session went something like: Her: I hear you’re having a bad time. I can’t imagine why a sweet little girl like you would ever feel sad Me: I don’t like you, you feel icky. Her: now, that’s not any way of speaking to an adult Me: nor is babying someone a way of speaking to a teenager. Let me speak to someone who’s not creeping me out. I ended up spending most of our sessions just glaring at a wall or a table, only to get home and break down because those sessions made everything feel darker. The next therapist I saw was also because of someone at school recommending it, but she was not as bad of a match. It went a little on and off with different therapists until I was 20. That first session was something entirely different: Her: I could read these papers, but that seems unfair. What do you think? Me: you can do what you want. Her: do you want me to read them? Me: no. Her: okay, I’ll put them in a drawer for now. Do you want to talk about something? Me: I don’t know. I don’t want people to hate me. Her: is it okay if I ask why you think anyone would hate you? Me: because I ruin everything that I touch. Things are way better now (I’m 26 now, btw). I’m just glad that I met the last one. The first was terrible, and her tone and wording is still something I can’t stand. It tends to rub me the wrong way if someone talks in a way that reminds me of the first one. The last felt safe, and like she wanted me to have as much space as possible. I eventually wrote her a letter detailing what I wanted to say, and dropped it off at her office a few days before a session. She took it seriously and found ways of helping me through it. I’m so grateful for therapists who are able to match their clients, and not act as tone deaf as Kinbot did with Wednesday. Thank you for talking about matching a client and paying attention to their energy
Had a very similar experience growing up and it sucked very bad. I worked my way through pretty much every local therapist and none of them could actually do a decent job. How difficult could it be to talk to a child like a human and not a dog with an injured paw. I actually had one therapist break down and cry because she wasn't making any headway with me and that was just like.... Come on, who's the damned therapist here?!
@@Lyrazel I’m sorry for what you went through. It shouldn’t be that hard to take someone seriously. The therapist breaking down is, to be honest, unprofessional and something that almost sounds like an attempt at manipulation (though I don’t know you or your story in a way that makes it okay for me to accuse the therapist of being manipulative. It was more of a thought based on what little you shared). I hope that you found a decent therapist eventually
I'm glad you found someone that you are comfortable with. It can be so hard to open up to someone. I'm just sorry you had to go so long before you found them
I love that your last therapist let you write stuff to her. I have always communicated better through writing. It gives me time and space to really *think* about what I'm trying to convey. I have the ability to do a rough draft and rewrite and tweak the language so i can say *exactly* what I mean without having to try to take back something that came out "wrong" - which was a problem I had a lot when I was younger. As an adult I learned I have adhd and autism and I would often blurt out thoughts as they occurred to me and I learned very quickly that people dont like to hear my unedited thoughts. I'm often blunt and to the point or make snap jump conclusions that often dont make sense to someone outside my own head, because they couldnt follow my sideways logic and I'm often perceptive of littlenthingsbthey dont notice, that inform those conclusions. And people take that negatively. But sometimes I also need a lot of time to *really* process what I'm feeling and translate that into words. I have a hard time identifying emotions and where they come from and *why* I feel them. And writing gives me the ability to do all of that. Where as in person, my brain often shuts down in social situations because I get so anxious about doing or saying or looking wrong. And sometimes I get so overwhelmed by that that nothing else can exist in my head. I might be trying to explain the how / why I feel about one thing, but the pressure of doing social things the Right Way overrides anything else and all I know is that I'm *uncomfy* and I cant untangle the two. Doubly worse if the emotions are similar. Like talking to my boss about how a coworker makes me feel unsafe. But the anxiety of reporting someone, of talking to my boss, of not being believed, of thinking I'm over analyzing, of thinking I'm overreacting, of being sure to present the *facts* as truthfully as I can, of being accused of lying, of making sure I present as NT as possibly so as not to look suspicious like im lying, of making eye contact but not too much, of modulating my speech to not be too emotional but also not robotic and therefore unsympathetizable, of making sure I dont have RBF or blank face, and then add in all the other ND problems like the clothes and lights and colors and movement in the space and fidgety bits. And words fail me. Because I cant pick apart my discomfort from the situation I'm in from the discomfort of the situation I'm talking about. Anyway. I've been thinking about getting into therapy and I hope I find one who will gladly accept writing as a heavy form of communication between us.
Insulting someone's intelligence is the FASTEST way to lose any chance of opening them up. It's degrading, and it's not what we are in therapy to experience.
I totally agree with the approach of asking why they do not want to be there. My first session I spent the whole 45 minutes giving all the reasons why I should not need therapy. Why I should be able to deal with my stuff alone. My therapist let me go on about it until in the end she told me. You know in the last 40 minutes you have used the word “should” 75 times? Why are you so hard on yourself?” This has changed my life.
i had a very similar experience, i was ranting for most of my first session about not wanting to make amends with family that hurt me. and at the end of the session my therapist pointed out that i described myself as "a hypocrite" everytime i talked about going no contact, because i felt like they needed my help bc they were going thru stuff too. and she pointed out that "its not hypocritical to want to protect yourself from harm, especially from people who have proven that they can in the past" huge weight off my shoulders, like yes those family members clearly need help, but it doesnt have to be from me, and im not a bad person for not wanting to help ppl that hurt me.
I had similar experience with my therapist. I was lucky because my brother went to her first, and after his 1st or 2nd visit my dad had a brilliant idea that we all should go (separately). So, she spoke with my brother and dad (mom's dead) and then spoke to me. I knew I needed therapy since I was 16. I was ~24/25? She listened to me for the whole hour and at the end she said that I present stuff like I wanted to make everything seem ok, and if I continue this way I'll never be happy. It was such a shock because all I wanted was to stop feeling so miserable all the time. I'm not fully healed (to my liking 😃) yet, but after 7 or 8 years of therapy I'm well enough that I stopped.
That's a good therapist. One question. Boom. My favorite therapist in the world, the one who brought me back and helped me untangle old trauma did the same exact thing. Asked one question, then sat back and watched my brain explode.
If I found out a stranger read my unpublished stories and gave their opinion without warning, I’d also run because as a writer, I see the things in my stories that my characters have in common with me and it’s embarrassing and uncomfortable if someone relates those opinions or habits back to me no matter if they correctly figured out which are mine and which aren’t.
Fun fact: potpourri used to be primarily made out of edible items that also happened to be fragrant with a long shelf life due to being dried, so I would say that considering the Adams' inclination towards archaic fashions and customs, it's not unlikely that they would have edible potpourri in their own home, thus making Pugsley's actions somewhat reasonable.
@@33pandagamer The simple answer is dried, fragrant plant material, but there's more that goes into it than just drying plants. Its existence spans back to ancient times, and used to consist of edible plants including mostly herbs, and spices, but "aesthetic" varieties have existed for as long as the dish has in which perfumes are added and "scent fixatives" which help the dried material slow release their scents over prolonged periods. These days a lot of the materials used to make potpourri are really just interested in being a slow-release perfume for residential rooms, so they're made out of many inedible materials including synthetic chemicals to act like a diffuser.
Yeah except modern potpourri is crusted in all kinds of fragrances and tastes like shit. I say this because my dumb child ass ate some and was sorely disappointed. Never again. Looks delicious, is NOT FOOD. Now, fruit chips, you bet. I love dried fruit. Just... fruit. Not the cancer dust that smells pretty.
@@DefconDelta88 Haha, oh that sounds like an utterly terrible childhood lesson. I love your description of it, though. And yes, fruit chips are awesome!
Dr Kinbott was set up to be the major antagonist, only to be exactly how she presented herself, caring deeply about her patients. Most notably, she points out that Wednesday isn't as cold or callous as she likes to pretend she is, making frequent visits to Eugene while he's in a coma.
They made Kinbott highly incompetent on purpose to make her look suspicious. At the end of the day she was just *incredibly bad* at her job.😅Which is why I LAUGHED when Wednesday defined her"highly qualified"or something like that...🤣girl..she's literally *the worst therapist ever!!*
@@BeeWhistler Ouch!!X-S I hope they're not _all_ like that. I don't think my schools have ever had psychologists in them,but if a school _has_ one,it better be good,since (s)he has to deal with kids or teenagers...
@@BeeWhistler school counselors suck so much, they dont know how to do their job at all. tbh being a therapist doesn't just require the degree it also requires a certain kind of skillset and way of seeing things
The fact I connected with Wednesday as a child and recent realized I’m autistic, and the fact you mentioned she has symptoms - you have validated me in ways I’ve been denied my whole life (and am still being denied). It’s sickening, when you realize how few therapists even think about girls/women having ASD. I’ve got novels of stories (of my experiences) for that genre alone. It’s so painful not to be seen, especially when you’re screaming it so blatantly. Thank you.
I get what you mean. I have Social Anxiety, and not meny people seem to get it. People think that I'm just shy, or that I hate people, but that's not the case at all. The thing is, people with social anxiety have an irrational fear of being judged, that they'll say something wrong or say it in the wrong tone, that they'll make a mistake and be forever outcasted because of that. So when someone walks up to me and initiates a conversation with me, I freeze. I want to talk, I want to say something, but I can't, the words just won't come out. And so I get branded as the loner quite kid, and my teacher either think I'm really shy or that I hate them for some reason, all because I don't talk. The worst part is that I can't even correct them. It's hard to talk when I'm calm, it's even harder to talk when I emotional.
@@33pandagamer I have literally been teaching my kids Valyrian, just to avoid using any known languages in front of others. There is no help for me, only solitude from the world. 😂
Kinbott reminds me of my first therapist a little, in the way she speaks to Wednesday. I had a lot of anxiety due to being bullied, to the point that I would pass out all the time. When I started seeing him, he would speak to me as if I was a child or an injured puppy, even though I was 14. Eventually he managed to get me to open up by asking about my hobbies, which were reading, painting and drawing (I was painting and drawing nature scenes), and he acted really interested. But, at the end of the session, when he asked to speak to my mom privately, he told her to stop allowing me to paint, draw or read because, according to him, I was using those things to avoid growing up. My mom told me about it on the way home, but didn't stop me form doing anything, which really annoyed him. He told me that I needed to toughen up, and I would never be able to do that if I kept hiding behind my childish hobbies. After about three months he told my mom that he was going to have to stop treating me, because my mom and I were obviously unwilling to do the work. The next therapist I saw brought coloring pencils in after I told her about my hobbies, and she allowed me to draw while we talked, which was much nicer, and made it really easy to talk to her.
That’s not just a bad therapist, he’s a crap person too. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m happy it sounds like your new therapist is a lot better
He's clearly a quack. I'm not trained and even I know that's not right. It's like calling the creator of Michelangelo childish, I believe it was Davinci but idk, idc, art isn't my thing. I'm glad your mom was onto him and supported you going to therapy.
GUESS YA GOTTA BE ILLERATE TO BECOME AN ADULT! Man... YEARS wasted in English learning grammar when I was supposed to have no reading skills at all! "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!" "... How can I do that? I don't have bootstraps-" "PULL YOURSELF UP BY YOUR BOOTSTRAPS!"
@@astraamarante6233 Lol... my thoughts exactly. Since when is reading a bad thing? I thought reading improved language and communication skills, guess I was wrong. But seriously, he was ridiculous, he genuinely believe art of any kind was childish.
I’ve always had a problem with therapy. Like, I’m pretty sure I’m autistic, but, with the five psychologists I went to, none recognised any syndromes (if not autistic then another form of neurodivergence). I went to therapy because I didn’t really get along with other kids, I have always been terrible at socialising, something I just got better at now after a year of university (a year before I couldn’t even look strangers in the eye, now it’s still uncomfortable, but I manage it). I went into therapy thinking: this isn’t going to work (spoiler, it didn’t. Haven’t been to a therapist/psychologist since… 6 years, maybe?). Like I went to individual psychologist and that did nothing, to group therapy, which I hated with my life. Also, it seems that psychologist don’t understand me, mostly because I was smart enough to know what to say so I could get out of there (I have no idea what I said to them but since I’m no longer there, I guess it worked), but also once I went to my school’s psychologist (it was obligatory, plus I got to skip class) and she told me to draw “a girl walking in the rain”. I did so, she was walking on the middle of the street, hands in her pockets because I’m not that good at drawing. Then my mom got called being like: she is super depressed basically suicidal (this part is according to my mom) because she draw a dead girl. I did not, but when my mom told me this I was like: huh, that wasn’t my intention but that is such a better story thanks (I’m a writer and a lover of creepy, dark, mysterious things). Same thing happened when we had to write a short story on sixth grade for a literature test and I was so damn tired of happy endings that I wrote about a boy who got drowned in a tsunami (my most feared natural disaster). I was not depressed, I was simply bored of stupid happy endings that had no meaning Anyway, if you read this entire thing (wow, it’s so long), have a nice day and week and year and life lol
Try not to force yourself to look people in the eyes if it makes you uncomfy, why should you have to make yourself uncomfortable for their own comfort, why should you have to alter your natural behaviours just because they perceive them as disrespectful and apply their own skewed meanings onto it. You deserve better.
I relate quite a bit especially to the beginning though I have A.D.D. I studied many years in a school that apparently specialized in noticing adhd and autism in students but no one noticed anything in me even though I had big problems due to ADD throughout my time in that school. I also went to therapy for many years and none of the therapists ever noticed anything. Then at one point the therapists had to make their clients do some adhd and autism tests (on paper) so I just filled in the file. The therapist went through it and then just looked at me like "...Oh...". I got diagnosed soon after that.
Yeah the major problem is, therapy is made for and by Neurotypical people, so it really doesn't work for anyone who isn't. Unless the therapist is willing to throw what they've learnt out of the window and create a new approach with their ND client. Which very few of them are.
I appreciate how quickly you recognized possible autism. Everyone's first instinct is to fix, but autism doesnt mean broken. Just different. Its difficult, especially for myself lately. It's been getting increasingly difficult to maintain work because the schedules always change, hours changing from 8 to 10 to 12 and back, random forced overtime.. Not to mention I have ringing in my ears that wont quit and I can never have my precious silence again. I get overstimulated very easily these days. But the worst part, is that I dont have an official diagnosis because I cant afford to get one, and I cant keep a job to make the money. I already lost my car which is making everything about the situation ten times more difficult. I'm sorry for the dump here... but i know if i had been recognized earlier and gotten support younger I'd be in a better spot. Its upsetting knowing that I'm not alone, and that it goes even further unnoticed in women
Dang, that's tough. I can relate to the sensory issues. It sucks. I hope you're able to get the diagnosis/accomodations you need. It's a hard place to be, hang on I believe in you
I love that they portrayed Kimbot the way they did. She was the worst kind of therapist for Wednesday (which doesn't mean she is a lousy therapist in general). Still, more often than not, people go to therapy hoping that it might help them and go out disappointed and think, "Well, therapy isn't for me, I guess," even though they went to the best therapist in town. They believe something must be wrong with them if therapy hasn't the effect they wished for. Many people have a similar experience with their therapist like Wednesday, and can't pinpoint WHY they think it isn't working out. Dr. Kimbot isn't the stereotypical "bad therapist" we get in many movies and series, but she is the perfect example of how it shouldn't look AND feel if you go to therapy. Those scenes allow people to look at their own experiences from an outside perspective without making them uncomfortable. I will be a social worker in a few months (in Germany, so our training might be very different in other countries). We have a course that I would translate to "conversation and consultation, " primarily based on Carl R. Rogers. If I meet my professor by any chance, I would recommend this video and the scenes with Kimbot to her. It is a perfect example of how you can still mess up big times even though you technically did many things right
I think Dr. Kimbot has toxic positive issues, because she always positive and tries to make everyone else positive‼ The issue Kimbot has is she’s not good with confrontation because she doesn’t always take charge. However I give her points for effort‼
@@MildarValsik I’m not a therapist, but I do work with kids so sometimes I have to be in problem solving mode. I’m guessing therapist has to do that sometimes. However I don’t think I’d follow Kimbot’s way of doing things because toxic positivity is wrong‼
@@grodriguez7225 i suspect many wouldn't. It be a very bad use of a talent. However I think in the show the character wasn't a therapist. More like a hired hand to investigate Wednesday under the hidden identity for the gain she seeked.
@@MildarValsik Maybe Kimbot could be a private investigator?! However that means she would be doing double work to not only understand Wednesday, give her advice, but also keep an eye on her. Again I know very little about being a therapist or being a private investigator for that matter.
I really like and appreciate my therapist. She's helped me with my PTSD so much because her personality is a match for mine and she's always willing to come down to my level to help me. You mentioned that if the patient isn't open to talking that you'd probably spend most of that session "chewing the fat" to help get them comfortable and build rapport with them and that's exactly the right call in my experience. I remember a session I had with my therapist where I was completely on edge and not coping well and just COULDN'T dig in to anything painful or even begin chipping away at my issues for that session. I just needed to unwind for a few minutes. She saw that and we spent the entire hour just talking about fanfiction and our favorite video games. Just that one low stress, no pressure session helped relieve some of the tension and helped me get through that tough week and come back the next session ready to tackle the serious stuff again. Seeing the therapist in Wednesday come at her so aggressive and breaching her trust by immediately bringing up her novels and judging her by them made me cringe so hard. That is NOT a good therapist.
I had a youth group, most of whom were in the foster system. They were rolling their eyes as the useless of life. As you suggest, I matched their tone and energy and ended up with one of the best, if far from ordinary camp session.
Instead of "matching", current counseling courses in college mention it as "meeting the client where they're at" which I find interesting to see the difference in the field as it keeps changing and growing!
I've had bad experiences and good with therapy. The time my school made me see a councillor was the worst. She was uninteresting, talked mostly about the seniors that were 'practically her best friends' and let students walk into our session since she left the door open. I sat there and just stared at her until the bell rang and I could leave. I then told the teachers that if they sent me back I'd just walk out. They knew I was serious so didn't force me. My current therapist is amazing. There was things I thought I couldn't voice, like that when I was pregnant I felt the doctors at the hospital ignored issues that nearly cost me and my baby our lives simply because I am a woman and she recognised that and voiced her own frustrations she had experienced first, assuring me I wasn't the only one who had that problem. I wish it wasn't a thing but it is nice to know it's not in my head.
My first two therapists weren't effective; the first one was basically giving me homework that I had to do and give back to her at the beginning of each session and was trying a cognitive behavioral approach, which was not the kind of treatment I needed. The second one tried to invalidate my feelings and told my mom not to let me play D&D because it's bad. I decided I didn't need therapy because at that point I'd gotten nothing positive from my time with either of those therapists. A few years later I started going to psychotherapy and it was exactly what I needed. I've been seeing the same person for a decade now and it's definitely helped me. TL;DR: If the first therapist you try isn't the right fit, don't give up. It may take a few tries but when you find the right therapist for you it can make such a difference in your life.
03:12 the acting! Teeny little micro expression that shows that statement affected her. I have had some excellent therapists and I've had therapists ask me for advice. 😂 You never know what you're going to get, I guess.
As a kid I was really good at getting therapists to talk about themselves. It took a long time to find a therapist that matched me, and could get me to open up.
An analogy my therapist used with me was that the challenges I was facing were like a wound. Therapy would help me clean the wound, and it would sting and hurt, but would help keep that wound from getting infected and it would heal better in the long run.
I have been to about 15 different therapists off & on over the past 30 years due to childhood abuse, all the problems that stemmed from that, & continue to this day. I never really connected with any of them, which is why I never stuck with them. The first therapist I had when I was 9 years old really helped in that she made sure I knew & accepted that the abuse wasn't my fault.
When the therapist mentions the novels, you can see a slight reaction on Wednesday's face. (Kudos to Jenna Ortega for the well-done subtle differences in facial expression.) Wednesday felt violated by this ambush by the therapist. It was at that moment I think the therapist was doomed to never obtain Wednesday's trust, and was also the moment Wednesday decided to escape. You were absolutely right in talking about the matching. Kinbott was likely the only therapist in the town, so it may not have been an option. That said, if Kinbott knows she's the only option, it's up to het to match her clients. It made for a great TV show to have such a contrast in personalities, but in terms of actual therapy, this was a disaster. I enjoyed your analysis. Great job!
You actually would have begun to reach me if, even if the first whole session had been about books. Just talking about books I liked and why, that actually would have begun to make me feel comfortable. Never underestimate people the power of talking about books. 😁
true. Sometimes in the sessions with my psychiatrist, we talk about books or shows or song-texts, and it makes sense. I f they speak to me enough that I feel like mentioning them in therapy, it is because something about them targets me, and that is worth talking about. One example which I could always pin on my depression is the bit "I find it kind of funny - I find it kind of sad - the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" from "Mad World" by Michael Andrews. In fact the whole song is quite depressing... but I really have said dreams on a regular basis, and the lyrics nail my feelings.
Mad World is one of my favorite songs of all time. I also find a lot of songs by Citizen Soldier really speak to me as well as someone who used to be a cutter and suicidal back in my teens. I highly recommend Citizen Soldier's music.
Oh, absolutely! I was an only child in a military family that moved every three years at least, and never had any close friends. I also was a voracious reader, especially of science fiction and fantasy, I would connect much better talking about books, both fictional and about history.
The information helps a lot. I do Art Therapy though I'm more of an artist who've been through a lot. I'm a teacher/storyteller as well, I understand how "matching" is pretty important. I feel that I'm on the right track reading this. I have this THEATRE FOR HEALING student that continuously do these workshops because she feels seen. That's her M.O.. I was able to match her and what she needs. She listens more now. We discuss how she feels at the start of the class or observe if she needs to let out. I give her choices what art/media form that she wants to express herself with. Then I match the exercise/learnings (because it's also a workshop at the same time) her needs and what art form she wants to use to release it. I only talk about things if she wants to talk about it. I stopped when she feels stressed and uncomfortable.
I remember not matching with someone who tried to counsel me. I hated every moment of it. I ended up developing resentment for that person because they were annoyingly happy and wanted me to just be like that without letting me go through it at my own pace. So, I resonated with that.
me and my therapist clicked so well that it feels like I'm talking to a friend, she once told me that she is amazed by how much I grew up during our sessions because I was open from the start and I accepted the uncomfortable and understood it was for me to grow
I really enjoyed watching this. I'm currently training to be a counsellor, and it's always so helpful to hear experienced counsellors speak about their techniques and particular approaches to dealing with certain situations.
I’ve been on and off of therapy for years and the last one I went to left me with a hatred for therapists 😞 I always had this trauma that therapists didn’t respect the patient confidentiality and when I got the courage to go with her, she deadass told me all my mom’s problems in the first session (she was my family’s therapist)… I have a problem opening up because of the same thing and she scolded me, saying it was useless to continue with sessions if I was not going to open and I decided to just give up with that completely… Watching this single episode (because I’ve seen lots of your videos lol) made me realize that that therapist was shit and I’ve been unlucky… still not ready to meet a new one tho
I can't tell how much I can conform that forced therapy will never work. I've been forced a lot and, dealing with anorexia, having my weight targeted in a (felt?) exclusive way instead of adress the underlying issues. So many... Years later, as an adult, until today, I found a psychiatrist I work well with (since more than a decade) and I can choose. It's crucial for me to be respected like by none of the thearapists I met as a teenager. I felt like I needed help long before, was most likely depressed even as a child, and the massive weight gain had many functions for me. In the end it was a teacher who reacted and send me to the shool psych even before my mother did anything. And I remeber it was my goal, somehow. Continue loosing weight until she HAD TO react. Well I got in therapy then (not her decision though. At first she was angry....), but it was boon and bane, because as I said the focus back then was mostly the number of pounds on the scale. The anorexia is mostly "untypical" in my case (and changed a lot during the years util the "chronified form" I live with today. That's why also I usually use "eating disorders" as term, exactly because it is different from the typical original manifestation), and I have several other issues. Sorry for digressing, but with that long journey through mental health topics it's kind of hard not to. I still have a very long way to go (and am having a big down right now and since last november), but the crucial steps I managed to take forward were all just possible when the force was taken out of the system, when my psychiatrist really listened and understood and allows me to have a say in what issues we are targeting...
@mangantasy I'm so glad you found someone who respected you and looked at your whole situation instead of just focusing on your weight. I don't know a lot about eating disorders, but from the bits I've seen on tv etc, it seems like the disordered eating is a form of self-medication, a bit like an alcoholic drinks to numb the pain or forget, people with an eating disorder are often seeking control because they've had a life event that has made them feel as if they have no control. Am I on the right track? I really hope you stay in a good place!!
@@sherrijennings9309 thank you very much for your kind words. And yes, control played a big role for me too, as in most of the fellow patients I met in various institutions. My mother was extremely strict and I had very little freedom in any aspect of my life. Many more aspects that partly changed over time. For example being early on also "cheap" because after my mother left my father with us two girls (I have an older sister) money was a big issue, and the less I ate the more I could "help" in that. And you're absolutely right too in the suspicion that the troubled eating somehow helps to cope with other issues. Another point my psychiatrist fully understands: that although it is of course a problem, it still helped me back then and somehow until today. I've been living with it for so longer, actually longer than without, that I can't even imagine myself without it. It's complicated.
@@sherrijennings9309 It can definitely vary, but what all eating disorders have in common is that there's always something underlying. It's not about the weight, the eating, the binging, it's about something below all that, which manifests in our eating disorders. It's an unhealthy coping tool. I personally feel like the reason increasing our weight is so focused on with anorexia is because it's killing us slowly, and so the idea is that treatment needs to focus on stabilizing our body's health so that we can work on stabilizing our mind's health. I'm not a professional, so I don't know if that's accurate, just my impression from being on the other end of things.
It was a relief to me when I found a name for my eating disorder, even though it was "EDNOS" (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). I finally had an explanation why I didn't seem to match what I was reading about other eating disorders and why treatments felt like such a bad fit - it's because they were a bad fit. That's when I really started making progress in healing.
@@runnerfrog13 I feel you. It's surprising how much a diagnose/having a name for the issue that is troubling you can be of comfort. PLUS of course it can be the first step for better treatment. What always helps me soo so much is that you can name your issue when for example you and up in hospital and have to explain yoursaelf. So much time saved when you have a name for tha madness that your condition might be. I felt this e.g. a lot with my AvPD, because trying to describe all the sympltoms and daily challenges linked to it just take so much energy. I hope that you can continue healing.
I had a therapist "match" me and yeah she got my full trust but the last session I went she just told me all this time she wasn't really herself during therapy, more like a mirror to help me figure my own stuff out and I should not care about "her" opinions which is solid, though I now feel like I was just being played with and humiliated. Good message worst delivery possible IMO. Specially because we were working trust issues and opening up to people and not thinking strangers were out to take advantage of me or betray my trust in some way; a lot of it is low self esteem which thankfully is much better now, again, good intentions but I applied them to me in the worst possible way, not cool.
I had two therapist in my life to help me deal with my childhood traumas. Both of them were really different but very helpful in their own way. My last therapist was very young (probably around my own age (23), she was really soft and made jokes which was fine because I do too, and since our conversations were not really fun, it helped me going through the whole session. My first therapist was older, more serious but still very soft, reassuring. Less jokes but brutally honest about my options and about what I was expressing. I liked that and I needed that. Both of them did an amazing job, and I feel like they adapted to who I am without changing who they were.
So good that you mentioned that! The part of matching! I've recently been to a psychiatrist for ADHD evaluation (get! Yaaay!) and I know so much about psychology and therapy by now (with only very few personal experience with official therapy session!) that it instantly struck me where the psychiatrist showed judgemental behaviours and biases. But I was fine working around that for the sake of evaluation. But there was something else that slightly rubbed me the wrong way and I wasn't quite sure what it was! Matching! That's what it was. I was missing that where I needed it. And it's not like the session was bad or anything. It's more that I observed how often "I would have had a problem here, here, now, with this... if I wasn't so well put together when it comes to intelligence, psychology knowledge and emotional regulation". And I knew what it feels like to be better matched and discuss really difficult stuff with people around me. It will definitely make a huge difference in therapy, when the client is not OK and can't regulate well yet and doesn't currently have the capacity to "not take it personally" etc. etc. Instantly knew I'd need to pick better for the actual therapy sessions (which I got directed towards). Looking forward to seeing if I can match somewhere around here. By now I've learned that we neurodivergent bunch tend to click with each other especially, cause we're more likely to have shared experience around that part of the spectrum of being human. A part of why I felt instantly comfortable with you, Jonno, and don't mind finding your edges and corners more, over time, here and on Cinema Therapy. Matching is like half the rent in this. Maybe more than half even. Technical knowledge about psychology and skill in handling social situations cannot cover what "matching" can!
I've had a lot of hit and misses with all but one of my therapists. To be fair, for the second-to-last one, she wasn't bad, she just wasn't a 'fit', but I had no other option (she was the only one accepting new patients in my age group who was remotely close to where I lived) and it was a requirement for me to see her. Sadly, probably the worst experience I've had with therapists was in one of the worst 'crisis' parts of my life. School and my peers were and always have been my primary source of stress, depression and anxiety and it only got worse in middle school. I was admitted to an outpatient school mixed with therapy / counseling for kids with mental health and behavioral problems (it probably had a specific name, I don't remember), for one of my grade years, with about 6-8 other students, two separate counselors and a teacher. At first everything was kind of neutral between the other kids and me and the counselors, but my extreme social anxiety and dislike of my peers that was instilled in me from years of bullying from first grade to then, I had the same problem as I did in my actual school and was bullied and isolated from any group activities, friendships, etc, and felt even more miserable than I did before. The counselors were borderline negligent if not outright detrimental in this regard, as they ended up essentially picking favorites of the students that weren't me, and would ignore any problematic behavior towards me. One of the girls ended up threatening to stab my eye out with a pencil in class and after we were physically separated by each therapist for a bit because I got up and dared her to try, the therapist blocking me in had the gall to scold *me* for defending myself while I saw and audibly heard the other counselor trying to soothe and console the girl who just threatened me. After that the therapists never really even acknowledged my presence, the same as my peers, and I never felt so alone and abandoned by people who were supposed to help me. I can say with 100% confidence that my time there actively made my mental health problems considerably worse.
My experience with therapy: I am an artist and I've been in art school since 6th grade (here in my country that is possible). Previously to that, in 5th grade, while I was still in search of my path I went for guidance and self-discovery to someone authorized. She did all the necessary tests and concluded I was made for humanistic jobs/languages/arts and started to talk to me, and my parents (with my consent) about that. But then, the therapist's own daughter entered one of the most prestigious highschools in town/even in the country here, on an intensive math and informatics profile, were is super difficult to enter, because you need ridiculously high grades, and not only brains to obtain them but steel nerves. Suddenly, my therapist started rumbling about how her daughter also has talent in creative writing (as I did) and languages, and even arts (as I also did)... but she gave them aaall up because her dream was to pursue a path at that specific highschool, on specifically intensive maths and informatics. Aaand (here comes the tricky part) my therapist started suggesting I should do the same! 😆 For ”there is no future in being an artist/writer/linguist”, as opposed to the bright, rich, future of being in ITst/informaticist/roboticist. And thus I should throw out the window all of who I innately was, for it was garbage! 😆Luckily my parents had the eyes to see that the woman had gone nuts, blinded by her own pride, and they supported me in transferring to art school. I was miserable at my previous, ”normal” school. I already was in an intensive math class, and in primary school there, math was absolutely praised (and if you dared love anything else, you were garbage). I didn't fit with anybody - not what I learned, not the teachers, and certainly not my peers. It was HELL. And my sweet sweet therapist suggested switching one hell... for another! While well knowing what I was enduring! I wish I had back then all the resources we have today, and someone like you guys, here on the channel, and on Cinema Therapy, and on many other channels as such, to enlighten me. I am extremely grateful for y'all 💗
From this description my suspicion would be that the Therapist's daughters' dream was actually the Therapist's dream for her daughter and her daughter gave up her art interests to please her mother, I highly doubt the Therapist would be able to hide her distain for her daughters art interests.
You sound like my daughter. When she started therapy at age 12 she mentioned that she loved art and wanted to be an artist, and one of the things she loved the most was Japanese anime. The therapist told her “to stop liking it” because she would not be able to “fit in” with others because it was not mainstream! My daughter told me this while I was driving, and I almost crashed the car. Never went back there again. I told my daughter that I would look for another therapist if she wanted to, but she said not to bother. Of course, a lot of her friends in HS turned out to love anime too, and today a lot of people are into it, so the therapist’s prediction did not come true. 😂
I’m proud that my bestie and I are both in Therapy. Hoping my partner will too.. I feel like Therapists are essentially professional friends. Trained to do all of these things people could need.
I can definitely resonate with what you said about needing to feel a sense of bonding with your therapist. A few years ago, my husband and I sought therapy after series of events left us both with various difficulties and were scheduled for a joint session with a therapist. As my needs and difficulties were not as obvious from the outside, and being a more introverted person than my husband, the therapist seemed to latch more onto my husband and his previous experiences than on me. My husband has been through a lot, but the fact that he'd seen a therapist before, as a child, seemed to attract the therapist we were seeing more than anything else, and almost the entire session focused on him. The next session, my husband decided to not attend, leaving me to fly solo, which I was okay with, thinking maybe I could actually start to convey the things I know I need to work through. I tried to convey a lot of the things I"d been through and was trying to work through on my own and maybe I overwhelmed the poor man. It didn't help that I'd recently lost my mom to cancer, which I mentioned. The therapist seemed more concerned with what my dad was going through, and my husband, then what I was, but I decided to give it another session. The third session, it was more of the same, like he didn't even know how to approach the things I'd broached the previous session. I don't know if it was outside anything he'd come across before or he just didn't know how to relate to me, but it kind of left a sour taste in my mouth when he kept insisting we talk about how my dad was dealing with my mom's death, how my husband was doing, instead of anything about me. I think I can definitely say we didn't really "bond".
My experience with therapists? Indifferent, out of touch, wrapped up in their own pet procedures and many don’t even call you back to say they can’t see you. They forget who you are between sessions and spend most of those sessions writing notes for that books they’re writing. They let you yap on and on and then suggest you buy “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” They entirely miss clues of neurodivergence. They can go pound sand.
I went to therapy when I was 11 for depression. The therapist was.. not a good fit. She spoke to me like I was a child and so for the first session I just completely ignored her and sat there quietly. On the second session I decided to respond when she asked the question "Why are you here?" I replied, "I am here because adults like you believe that a child like me is incapable of dealing with ostracization and bullying in a constructive manner. They think that my demeanor reflects some inner turmoil that will devour me if they don't weasel their way in and dig it out. I disagree with their position and your actions so far have only reinforced my perspective." Then I shut down and didn't respond again. After the second session she told my parents that it was impossible to work with me and doubted that therapy would help my situation. I really _really_ empathize with Wednesday.
I have had a few therapists that I didn't mesh with. One of them had the idea that vitamin supplements would help me. I didn't go back to him. Then I found a great therapist who I really trust and get along with. When I have a problem, it usually only takes 1-2 sessions with her to come to a point where I no longer need her help. She and I mesh so well together and she has helped me so much in my OCD/ anxiety battle
you’ve made me wanna get therapy like I’ve always known I needed therapy but you’ve made me actually wanna do it and ur videos (first one on this channel watched more on cinema therapy) but I’ve noticed I’ve become a lot more mentally healthy since starting to watch ur channel
I went to therapy once (for whatever reason) when I was about 12 years old. We ended up talking about me suffering bullying since I started school at 6/7. She told me to imagine my bullies as pink elephants. I answered (sarcasm mode on) "And with a ballet skirt 🙄". She said genuinely it was a good idea. The reason I was sent there disappeared so I wouldn't have to hear that kind of nonsense again. It's VERY difficult to gain my trust, but it's really easy to lose my respect 🤷🏻♀️
I just want to say, thank you for making videos like these. I find them so educational, yet fun! I believe they are also insightful as to how you are as a therapist, which I believe is inspirational for those that perhaps are afraid to go to therapy, or even helpful for other therapists. Thank you for all you do. ❤
I feel like in a lesser extent, Dr Kimbot is kind of just every well meaning person who fails to understand the oddballs that come through their life. Parents, other family members, teachers, therapists, etc...I saw so much of myself in those interactions. It wasn't that I didn't want to connect and talk at that time in my life, it's that I truly felt nobody got me and it would be a waste of my time. That I'd just end up being misunderstood and spoken down to. Made to feel like I was a freak. And even if she was well meaning, Dr Kimbot's chipper behavior came across as quite condescending at times towards Wednesday. Smug. All Wednesday saw was just another person to rip to shreds at that point.
I went to therapy initially for depression and general anxiety roughly 11 years ago. I felt dismissed and not very validated when the therapist told me it was all over stress about wanting to be pregnant and that it was better when I did get pregnant. I'm currently in therapy to rectify a hoarding mentality and I found a therapist that vibes better with me. I don't feel belittled and I actually look forward to doing the work I need to do with her.
Wednesday wrote 3 books as kids, very intelligent, but has violent impulses, because of her family are well weird and don’t mind murder or horrible things. It’s pretty much a book about a a teenage detective, that solves crimes in a dark misunderstood teenager that as a detective. I could see her books like that with sell especially to teenagers and some adults probably. And only reason they didn’t publish it is because she is still a child that’s probably why. A teenage detective solving crimes, I know it’s been done before, but will definitely be interesting.
Oh man, I remember the worst therapist I had who pulled something similar to Dr. Kimbott's first session but in a way more aggressive way when I was 14- she was seeing almost all of my bio family and I was being seen last. She literally started in on trying to get me to talk about abuse that happened a decade earlier right after introducing herself, and did not accept "I don't remember" as an answer. After pushing it for 15-20 minutes, she spent the rest of the session lecturing me on how not unpacking that trauma was ruining my life and would only get worse from there. I think I only saw her a couple more times before the state insurance stopped paying for it, and all of those sessions were just me tersely answering her as I got more and more angry about her grilling me about things I did not remember (and still don't). I've had a few other, much better, therapists since then.
I have never had a therapist that was helpful. It always just ends up being good conversation that I'm paying for. I end up giving them advice. I have had the biggest breakthroughs on my own with studying the Enneagram and attachment theory.
no joke 100000% of the reason i avoid therapy like the plague is because i always get the one people think i need, the therapist like the lady in wednesday. All business, no actual feeling or personality. it's excessively manicured cheerfulness. it feels fake as all get out and sets off alarm bells bc as someone with autism, i know anyone that treats me that way dos NOT want to connect. they want to keep me at arms length and diagnose me and im so used to this being someone's default interaction with me. It's Sterile kindness. If i had a guarantee i got an actual person like you and i could afford it i'd jump on it. Even though you're not my therapist, you videos here and at cinema therapy with Adam have helped me so much. thank you for being so wonderful and human and REAL and bravely open.
Question: you said that if someone confesses of murder, the therapist has a duty to report (i.e. it is not protected by patient-therapist confidentiality). But consider if the patient doesn't clearly confess, or doesn't use the exact words, but from the context you suspect that he may have committed a crime; in this case, you report the suspicion or you can only report if there is a clear confession? (It was actually a theme from a TV show episode many years ago; in the end the therapist reported his patient as a searched serial killer, but the patient was actually innocent and the therapist lost his license)
I can definitely see what you mean about matching energies. My first experience with a therapist was when I was around 14 years old, and it was absolutely terrible. I felt like I wasn't being heard or understood in the slightest. I actually wanted to receive and did ask for help. But despite trying my best to be open about what I was going through, I didn't really feel like my therapist cared based on how she would reply to what I was saying. It made me feel uncomfortable, and I just ended up closing up even more. The second time was in my early 20s and it was an excellent experience. My therapist was very empathetic and knew when to push and when not to. And like you said, he would ask me things like my hobbies and interests, and it would create casual conversation that made me feel more at ease, it even felt like talking to a friend. That experience really helped me process a lot of things I was going through, and I still use a lot of the things I learned from that process to this day whenever new obstacles come my way 😄
As a colleague I really like your approach. I think a good therapist needs the abilities good parents have: empathy, ability to adapt to the needs of their clients, to be caring and nurturing and to be able to protect both themselves and the person they take care of if necessary. Sometimes we have to show a certain ability to be aggressive so our clients can feel safe. I've had clients that told me later that in the beginning they were worried their inner chaos would overwhelm and harm me. So my ability to be assertive when necessary helped them feel safe. Your video made me think of my supervisor when I started out. He used to say that every successful therapy is a love story ☀️😊
I like that they didn't make Kinbott evil. My first therapist was a bad match for me, but he wasn't a bad person and he didn't mean me any ill will. He just didn't seem to respect my boundaries, which is an accident and something I forgive him for, and is also why I went to a different therapist. Sometimes people don't click. That doesn't mean they aren't good people.
I was very lucky. I matched very well with my counsellor. She is the only one I've ever had. I did make the decision myself to go to counselling and that probably meant I was more prepared to open up, but it definitely wasn't easy. However it was easier than opening up to any of my family or friends, as there is no bias attached to any situation I discussed. I saw her for two years, did amazing and we ended our regular sessions with the power being left with me to do check-in sessions... which I never did and ended up in a bad place again during the pandemic. I am now nearly two years in to seeing her again and have once again felt my life begin to improve in so many ways. I know not everyone can connect with their therapist/counsellor as easily as I did, so believe me, I am very aware of how lucky I am. I am also aware how much she has helped me and I am extremely grateful!
I like how around 10:10 you cross your arms and not look at the camera so much. It's like your personality completely changes as you are talking about it. It's amazing and very true that our body language is more powerful than spoken as I caught that faster than hearing your voice intonation changing. Again at 16:36, shifting weight and sitting taller to make yourself seem bigger. I don't think you noticed this either. I can see your personality changing as you shift to be another aspect. Hell you're better than most actors at this. To fit the scene.
I love the Wednesday series so much I watched it twice, enjoying it more the second time around while crocheting a snood. I may watch it a 3rd time just because it's fun and so I can get a better look at the sweaters. I've recently taken up crochet again to help process my stress and anxiety that sometimes rolls through my day-to-day. I love watching your episodes because they are funny and enlightening. Thank you for them.
It took me a long time to find a therapist I didn't see as 'fake' and someone being as themselves as I was- as open, as I had to be. And I found one in a school that isolated me, of all places. I still stay in touch, and nomatter what I want to find room to go to therapy with her specifically because that's what I need- tho not what I always want in the moment.
Well, I have been in two long term therapies so far but I also had encounters with diffrent therapists over the years. My current therapist is one that I am glad I was able to find and work so long together with. She really made me feel understood in my problems and also made me feel safe to cry and be upset when my feelings got dragged down. So far I am glad that I took the steps in the past to seek therapy cause it helped me alot. I am still dealing with lots, still I feel much better and stronger. More ready for the world. On the other hand I had encountered therapists that were just awful in my eyes. Pretty sure their way to talk put me off and also how they tried to make me talk about stuff I was not ready to talk about was hurtful for me. With this I noticed that I don't boat well with thearpists who just sit there in silence and wait for me to start. This is not the way that I am comfortable with and will make me want to close up even more. The two therapists I had long term made me feel safe to talk and that was something that I really needed. Hope this is somehow helpful. English is not my native language so there might me some errors. I enjoy your content and I also watch many of Cinema Therapy. It's interesting to see your side on things and makes me curious about the topic of therapy in general. Thank you for the videos and the interesting view on things in media.
They made Kinbott highly incompetent on purpose to make her look suspicious. At the end of the day she was just *incredibly bad* at her job.😅Which is why I LAUGHED when Wednesday defined her"highly qualified"or something like that...🤣girl..she's literally *the worst therapist ever!!* BTW *I ADORE* Jenna's micro-expressions through the whole 1st session!🤩I also love this Pugsley..he's so cute!🥺 13:56 - 14:22 , 19:00 - 19:08 WHY-THE HELL-ARE THE ADDAMS-NOT BEHAVING-LIKE ADDAMS-IN THIS SHOW???😵 _Since when_ do you think murder is a bad thing to be ashamed of and to be scared to talk about?!?!
I grew up in the '90's, so my experience with "therapists" were school psychologists whose only vernacular were ADD & ADHD. I was falsely diagnosed with ADD and was constantly medicated by psychiatrists until 8th grade when I chose to stop taking the meds. I now have an aversion to the psych office and a general disdain for therapists who have the "Neal from The Santa Clause 1&2" approach.
My first and last therapist was a campus therapist and I was at the lowest place in my life (no friends, dying relationship, studying abroad, strict parents, etc). I really expected/ hoped that she would have the answers to my problems or at least find out what's wrong with me but it's mostly me talking and her advising me to be more proactive. I like her but it was so out of my comfort zone that I only stayed for 2-3 quarters.
5:05 While you're right, you're also missing the point that the therapist read her work without her permission. As a writer, our writing is very personal and where we often share some of our darkest thoughts or things we don't like about ourselves and others. It also is a great tool to survive toxic or unaccepting environments. When I went to a homophobic, religious private school, I often wrote LGBTQ+ romances and characters to help me cope with being LGBTQ+ myself. If I then had been told someone sent those over to a therapy session I hadn't chosen to go to myself, I would never trust that therapist again and would be seriously, emotionally wounded/paranoid after the fact. Unless she actually did get it published, which she did not, it is a complete overstepping of a boundary to read a writer's most intimate works without their permission, no matter the reason for it. As you said, its about learning trust, and, with a writer, you have to earn that trust being even THINKING about touching their work like that.
Oh my goodness, I didn't expect this comment to correlate with me as much as it did. If somebody has/had seen my work before I'd given them permission, I don't think I would('ve) ever trust(ed) that person with something personal again. Like what you said with our work being deeply personal, we write things that we struggle with ourselves. It's a huge invasion of privacy and deeply uncomfortable to have somebody ask you about certain points in your work, therapist or not. Like, if my therapist said, "Oh, I noticed the relationship Gray has with his mother, can we talk about that?" on our first session, I likely wouldn't schedule another session after that. That's why it's so important to let the patient bring up the book or their hobbies instead of just jumping right into it. You are so right about this, thank you.
I really liked my therapist but I'm such an extreme people please that I felt I had to show improvement with each session. I'd talk to her about how great I was doing and then I was having breakdowns the rest of the week.
I started going to therapy last year and it was embarrassing to open up about my meltdowns, living in a mess due to chronic pain, & debt issues, but I’m now medicated for bipolar & ADHD, I’m going to have a home helper soon, and I’m having my debts consolidated.
It's so true that there needs to be a bond a connection between the therapist and the client. When I was finishing up in college I was having such a hard time that I sought out the counselors on campus. Shortly after I started to get better then because I was graduating I couldn't see my counselor anymore. I wept I didn't know what I was going to do. She recommended me to someone and I pulled a Wednesday. That was back in 2016...haven't found/looked for another therapist.
I had a therapist as a teenager, but I never connected well with my therapist and constantly felt like I was being treated like an 8 year old boy when I was a 13 year old girl who was more mature for her age from helping take care of my sibling on the spectrum and helping my other sister with her daughter since she was a single mother. While I love my mother I know if I were to mention to her i didn't like my therapist she would of automatically shut down the conversation believing I was just complaining because I didn't want to see the therapist. As an adult now my mother has opened herself to me more, and I have become the friend who people come to for support, and to help them be guided into the right choices.
So I've had anxiety (and adhd) ever since I was a little kid. I used to go talk to a therapist and sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad. Once I had this therapist (who was German(i think), nothing against Germans), anyways he and I didn't really get along as well as I had liked. He just assumed a lot of things rather than me telling him things, like I told him that i used to be afraid of elevators when I was younger, and he assumed i was afraid of heights, when in reality I was paranoid of getting trapped in them with no way to contact anyone. Another time when I was younger, I had a therapist, I think his name was Jason. Jason was so nice and helpful. He actually helped me get over my fear of elevators. when I was even younger I had this therapist named Sam. I don't remember a whole lot about him, I was very young, but I remembered that he was also very nice. So you will get along with some people better than others, and that's alright. If you don't get along with your current therapist, go find a new one!
I knew I needed therapy, and I went, and I worked. HARD! I love my therapist. We actually concluded therapy. There were times when I told her she'd have to provoke me to talk about the thing I didn't want to talk about. And she did. And I cried. And I dealt with the thing. And sometimes I text her when I have a Big Life Win that I couldn't have had without therapy.
First time I was sent to a counselor at 8, I didn't even know why I was there or what I was supposed to be doing. All I knew was that this strange, overly smiley lady was trying to talk to me and show me books about shyness. The sessions ended up being counterproductive. Why? I was terrified of talking to adults who weren't my parents. It wasn't until high school I found a counselor I was comfortable with. He didn't put me off with fake smiles. He was stern, but kind. He was the only one I wasn't forced to see.
Got therapy first for my obsessive hair-pulling at 13. Had a good therapist that time around, but only had 2 or so sessions. After dad died when I was 15, the next couple therapists all spent several sessions chewing the fat. I understand why now, but it felt like I was wasting my time and I stopped going. Grief-while painful-is one of the most easily researched problems. They recommended books to read which probably helped, but I don't remember what I read. The most effective was the therapist I got in my mid-20s who ran a group cognitive behavioral therapy class to deal with generalized anxiety. Kinda feeling like it's time for another therapist. This has been helpful to understand how to find and assess a good match!
I've seen several therapists really hammer on Kinbots character as simply a bad therapist, using bad techniques and so on. And Id agree that some of what she does is more or less for TV purposes and exaggerated. But in terms of how she approaches Wednesday overall I look at it from the perspective of a therapist who knows tradtional techniques simply wont work on Wednesday, she eats therapists for breakfast so she uses an approach that is more on the level of Wednesday, more cerebral, confrontational, even adversarial at times, pushing right up to her in the same way Wednesday pushes back. Kinbot knows that Wednesday can read a room, she can smell BS and is hyper intelligent and isn't someone who should be handheld. Wednesday for her part understands and perhaps could even respect that approach. In essence useing traditionally bad techniques on Wednesday is probably the only way you'd even remotely have a chance of keeping her interested and engaged.
I agree with this. Other than the obvious time constraints and dramatization of a TV show, Kinbot struck me as a very gutsy, intelligent character from the get-go. She'd clearly done a lot of work to try to understand Wednesday's case, which undoubtedly included knowing a lot of dark things about the girl. For Kinbot to have agreed to take on the girl (and not...a school therapist? psychologist? I mean, seriously any normal boarding school would have one, and DEFINITELY several in a school for "outcasts"!) is a brave move, in my books. Kinbot also embodied a lot of the character reactions from the original TV show, without ever actually running away --- but actually attempting to face it. Within the universe, she's pretty remarkable. My guess is she might have been a bit sleep deprived and in shock from all of the research and stumbling through Wednesday's three books as well as her files.
So many things she does are extremely against ethical guidelines for therapists. Wednesday is very much fighting back, and it's a horrible idea to worsen this adverserial relationship. Making it clear that these sessions are there for her to express herself first and foremost would at least have been better than this clusterfuck. Going to a therapist for the first time should be about getting to know each other and adjusting, not about letting the patient know that you have read every single unpublished thing they have written and that you already have preconceptions about what the Client is like and what they are dealing with based on fictional things. It's also true that writing can reflect parts of our experience, but just because I like writing about political intruige and adoption doesn't mean that I am in favour of the position the characters hold or have any true relationship towards adoption or a bad relationship with my parents. Kimbott is really just being a shitty therapist, no matter how you look at it.
I don't remember much of my first "therapist" but I remember I didn't exactly like her or the sessions we had. I wouldn't even call her a therapist. I had a VERY rough time going to school, due to mental health, the people within the school and so much more. So she was basically there to get me back into school, which I was really not fond of. I'm quite stubborn, I rarely took her "advice" seriously, and I rarely had session in the high school I went to. I mostly had them in my primary school, because she worked there. I don't really like talking about my problems all the time. Of course I'd talk about them, when I want to, but I don't like talking about them all the time, especially when I already went through all of the problems in my life. It was having me go thinking back to the events, making me practically re-live it which was not ideal so I would rather talk about the things that interested me because that would put me in a way much better mood than talking about my problems. BUT my "therapist" wouldn't let me. Every time I'd try to talk about my favourite games, tv shows, fictional characters, after I was done talking, she'd always bring up my problems again, especially when it involved school. I hated going to our sessions, but if I didn't want to feel like I was wasting her time so I just kept going. Even when she admitted that we should stop our sessions because they weren't working, my abandonment issues didn't want her to leave so I had to basically had to fake it that the sessions were helping so she'd stick around. I even had things "wrong" with me that I wanted to "fix". But nope, all he was concerned about was me getting back into school and wouldn't help me come to terms with any of my other issues. Thankfully I am no longer seeing her and I am in a much better place that does a way better job than she could ever do
You said a lot of things in this video that I really agree with. I have a good relationship with therapy and with my therapist, and generally consider myself open to the concept. But right off the bat I didn’t like Kinbott at all. She just didn’t seem like a genuine person, like her whole persona was: THERAPIST. I struggled to understand how she could help people with really complex issues, because there doesn’t seem like there’s anything complex to her. In my own experience with my therapist, I knew I could trust her and connect with her because in our first session, she was able to pick up on the fact that I was nervous, and used humor to put me at ease. That opened the door, but the way that she reacted to what I was telling her really sealed the deal. I could tell that the words I said mattered to her, and she was rooting for me to get to the mental place I wanted to be in. I really didn’t see any of those vibes at all in Kinbott, especially during the first meeting. I think it’s good to note that sometimes therapists have to meet patient’s more than halfway in the beginning, which Kinbott really didn’t do, and made the therapy suffer for it.
Hmmm... What you've said here about matching has me thinking about my limited experience with therapy. My child and myself in maybe 3 appointments with a therapist who left me feeling like he just didn't know what to do with my child. He was fairly quiet the whole time, didn't really get into conversation with either of us, kind of closed off body language. I'm quite sure I was putting off the same vibe, so maybe he was attempting to match with me? I am so uncomfortable with doctors of any kind, especially when I haven't met them before, but I really need the opposite of what I'm putting out at the start to be able to feel comfortable and open up. My regular Dr once apologized for being so chatty, since it often makes her appointments run long, but it's the reason I like her so much and was comfortable going to her for myself after she'd been my children's Dr for several years.
that therapist broke the tentative trust Wednesday had in her. Wednesday was engaged and participating [for Wednesday] she was talking, until the therapist mentioned having read her books which for anyone else is like saying your therapist read your diary now wants to question you on it. it was one thing for the therapist to know she writes books, another thing to have read them and want to psychoanalyse the book. Therapy should be somewhat patient led where the patient is introducing or opening the door to topics and respecting hard limits patients have- they don't want to discuss a topic, set it aside for the moment and come back to it later. pick at the little things first then dive into the bigger things once patient is more comfortable.
Have you ever thought of becoming a professor at a college or a university? I took Mental Health and Addictions Worker as a 2 year college diploma. I feel like your videos teach me more about approaches to counseling than I learned from any of my professors at the college. The couple of good professors I did have were current therapists. I guess you can only teach what you know.
My first therapist tried to make it seem like everybody was experiencing my problems, and that they weren't as bad as I said they were. I don't go to her anymore.
mm I'm autistic myself and I see a lot of my own outward emotional flatline times in Wednesday, in addition to just not connecting emotionally out of mental exhaustion, and calling myself literally the 'black sheep' even before I was diagnosed or even considered autism as a diagnosis
Man its so sad that it seems i cant find a therapist who is fitting for me. It just feels like everyone of them just wants to medicate me, cutting my words off when i try to go deeper and stuff like that. Its everytime just this feeling they want to hear the top of the iceberg and thats it. I really wish that im able to find somebody who isnt just putting me into another drawer. Or speaks in a way you do. Eveytime i watch ur videos i feel tempted to write down my shit before i remember. No. Stop. That wont help you or replace the help i need. And its just not okay to bother people in the internet. At least in my way of understanding how society works. xD But still..your videos work wonders for my mood sometimes and just listening to you gives me hope, i can find someone, because i can barely imagine that you are the only person who is like..yeah, so open and modern. Have a good day and even better days comin.
I wish you lived near me. I'm a survivor of CSA and SA. I also spent a few years of my 20s sick then it got worse so over the course of two years I was in and out of the emergency room first it was once or twice a month, then three times then the doctor and nurse talked outside my room about how they believed I was being a pain med seeker, then the after hearing me tell my mom if it was pills I was after I'd have taken all my pills then they could talk about me being an addict. In the end I was sick from my gall bladder being filled with small stones and grit, I was less than a week from my gall bladder bursting. I ended up requiring emergency surgery. I was then diagnosed with chronic pain and fibromyalgia, anxiety, clinical depression with depressive episodes and dealt with suicidal ideation. Due to chronic illness and the chronic pain I was disabled before I turned 30. It was a hard time grieving my old self and facing I'm not a spring chicken sooner than others
While I get what they were going for with Dr. Kinbott's character, if someone, therapist or not acted that way towards me, I'd be like I'm going to disengage and go find someone else to talk to. She started off well enough but I feel like her reading the manuscripts and mentioning that in the 1st session was an invasion of privacy. Now granted being Wednesday's therapist sure that gives Dr. Kinbott insight into Wednesday. I write/journal a lot myself. But if my therapist who I'd never met before started reading out some of my journals or writing and presumed to know me, like I feel Wednesday's therapist does, I would have reacted similarly to Wednesday. There are ways to engage people as far as what do you like to do? What are your hobbies? Without then being like oh so you must feel like this because your characters act this way. I hated this therapist for so many reasons but I get why she was presented that way. The story needed an obvious villan and a lot of times that is the therapist. Worked out well for the show but I would never choose someone like her to be my own therapist.
I feel like Kimbot could have connected with Wednesday in a lot of ways. If she asked about hobbies and found a way to mention her roadkill collection I feel like Wednesday would have clicked with her a LOT more
True. All the"Wednesday"reactors I've seen were like:"Eeww.Creepy/suspicious.X-S"when they found out Kinbott's hobby,while all I thought when I saw it was:"I bet Wednesday would like this!Why don't you tell her?You could finally bond,perhaps!😆You just need to make your compositions a bit darker...😉"Now that I think about it,they might not have agreed on that hobby either because Kinbott was all about happy Polly Pocket kind of scenarios while Wednesday is more the"Mighty Max"type....😉💀
@@Nicamon The only thing I thought was "that explains a lot, like why she doesn't seem phased by the 'outcasts' at all."
True, but I don't think Kimbot would ever have opened up about her hobby because she kept hobby hidden behind a closed door. Wednesday, one the other hand, desn't hide her creepiness - she wears it like a badge of honor and doesn't care what anybody thinks about it.
it's kinbott..
When I saw a child therapist, I was quiet and thought I wasn't going to change. Then, he wanted to play board games. I fell for it. I played so many board games. Without realizing I was getting therapized
It was the same for me lol
The therapist that my kids had so many games for them to play. Their dad is a narcissistic abusive alcoholic. The sessions are probably why the one loves chess so much
they sound like a great therapist
I also went to a therapist who played games with me, but in the end they said that I wasn't getting anything out of it and so I wasn't to come back anymore. I didn't have any friends so it was a bit sad, I was always happy to play and then I had no one to play with anymore again. I have since been told I "present well", especially to older people, and that I'm on the autism spectrum xD
oh, that's.. sad
I think the biggest problem is that Kinbott, since this is a first session brought up the mystery novels without asking Wednesday first. This is a first session. She invaded Wednesday's privacy. That shows lack of boundaries. And if she's trying to say what Wednesday is doing wrong, because it breaks boundaries, etc. Isn't she modeling bad behavior? If she wants trust, then she should have asked about hobbies, etc and let Wednesday bring up her novels herself rather than forcing them on her.
Exactly! That's what I was thinking all the time as well. She's soo bad with boundaries and respecting Wensday's privacy, what response she did expect other than leaving through the window?😁
@@walkingwith_dinosaurs Big Nurse Ratched energy there. “Your mother told me…” strikes me as similar to someone letting her read her writing.
yep!
In her defense, it was as part of Wednesday's psych evaluation which was court-mandated, so this wasn't a regular patient-therapist situation, there was always gonna be some level of enforcement involved. They also skipped a lot of steps bc of story pacing, there was a point that needed to be made in this episode and with very little time for the therapy sequence so they made the therapist cut to the chase.
She had a chance of connecting to Wednesday by bringing up her taxidermy, Wednesday would love that.
Part of the issue was that Wednesday didnt give permission for her manuscripts to be sent to Dr Kinbott, she was also feeling the betrayal there as well. And the relationship is set up as adversarial from the start, which isnt going to work.
Yeah, this is what I commented as well. It bothered me he didn't see this, but, he also probably didn't understand that context.
That feels already like secrets and conspiracies against you before even getting there.
I work with clients in a specialized program in prison and I feel something similar happens there. Except instead of private writings, it is their criminal case that we already have access to. And we have specific goals from the court we have to work towards. I can see this in Wednesday’s sessions too, as she is court mandated instead of seeking out help herself. We often have to work with building a therapeutic alliance, which I would say is the matching he talked about, while also helping the clients findfind their motivation and goals within the limits of what they’re in therapy for.
“I don’t travel well” is one of my favorite clap back lines of the show. It was such a quick comeback that I found funny. Jenna absolutely killed this role
Kinbot reminds me of the first therapist I saw. I was 14 and struggling with panic attacks as well as being deeply depressed. Someone working at my school eventually called my parents and asked them to find a therapist before it was too late. The one they found made… an impression. The first few seconds of the first session went something like:
Her: I hear you’re having a bad time. I can’t imagine why a sweet little girl like you would ever feel sad
Me: I don’t like you, you feel icky.
Her: now, that’s not any way of speaking to an adult
Me: nor is babying someone a way of speaking to a teenager. Let me speak to someone who’s not creeping me out.
I ended up spending most of our sessions just glaring at a wall or a table, only to get home and break down because those sessions made everything feel darker. The next therapist I saw was also because of someone at school recommending it, but she was not as bad of a match. It went a little on and off with different therapists until I was 20. That first session was something entirely different:
Her: I could read these papers, but that seems unfair. What do you think?
Me: you can do what you want.
Her: do you want me to read them?
Me: no.
Her: okay, I’ll put them in a drawer for now. Do you want to talk about something?
Me: I don’t know. I don’t want people to hate me.
Her: is it okay if I ask why you think anyone would hate you?
Me: because I ruin everything that I touch.
Things are way better now (I’m 26 now, btw). I’m just glad that I met the last one. The first was terrible, and her tone and wording is still something I can’t stand. It tends to rub me the wrong way if someone talks in a way that reminds me of the first one. The last felt safe, and like she wanted me to have as much space as possible. I eventually wrote her a letter detailing what I wanted to say, and dropped it off at her office a few days before a session. She took it seriously and found ways of helping me through it. I’m so grateful for therapists who are able to match their clients, and not act as tone deaf as Kinbot did with Wednesday. Thank you for talking about matching a client and paying attention to their energy
Had a very similar experience growing up and it sucked very bad. I worked my way through pretty much every local therapist and none of them could actually do a decent job. How difficult could it be to talk to a child like a human and not a dog with an injured paw. I actually had one therapist break down and cry because she wasn't making any headway with me and that was just like.... Come on, who's the damned therapist here?!
@@Lyrazel I’m sorry for what you went through. It shouldn’t be that hard to take someone seriously. The therapist breaking down is, to be honest, unprofessional and something that almost sounds like an attempt at manipulation (though I don’t know you or your story in a way that makes it okay for me to accuse the therapist of being manipulative. It was more of a thought based on what little you shared). I hope that you found a decent therapist eventually
I'm glad you found someone that you are comfortable with. It can be so hard to open up to someone. I'm just sorry you had to go so long before you found them
I love that your last therapist let you write stuff to her.
I have always communicated better through writing. It gives me time and space to really *think* about what I'm trying to convey. I have the ability to do a rough draft and rewrite and tweak the language so i can say *exactly* what I mean without having to try to take back something that came out "wrong" - which was a problem I had a lot when I was younger.
As an adult I learned I have adhd and autism and I would often blurt out thoughts as they occurred to me and I learned very quickly that people dont like to hear my unedited thoughts. I'm often blunt and to the point or make snap jump conclusions that often dont make sense to someone outside my own head, because they couldnt follow my sideways logic and I'm often perceptive of littlenthingsbthey dont notice, that inform those conclusions.
And people take that negatively.
But sometimes I also need a lot of time to *really* process what I'm feeling and translate that into words. I have a hard time identifying emotions and where they come from and *why* I feel them.
And writing gives me the ability to do all of that.
Where as in person, my brain often shuts down in social situations because I get so anxious about doing or saying or looking wrong. And sometimes I get so overwhelmed by that that nothing else can exist in my head.
I might be trying to explain the how / why I feel about one thing, but the pressure of doing social things the Right Way overrides anything else and all I know is that I'm *uncomfy* and I cant untangle the two.
Doubly worse if the emotions are similar.
Like talking to my boss about how a coworker makes me feel unsafe. But the anxiety of reporting someone, of talking to my boss, of not being believed, of thinking I'm over analyzing, of thinking I'm overreacting, of being sure to present the *facts* as truthfully as I can, of being accused of lying, of making sure I present as NT as possibly so as not to look suspicious like im lying, of making eye contact but not too much, of modulating my speech to not be too emotional but also not robotic and therefore unsympathetizable, of making sure I dont have RBF or blank face, and then add in all the other ND problems like the clothes and lights and colors and movement in the space and fidgety bits.
And words fail me. Because I cant pick apart my discomfort from the situation I'm in from the discomfort of the situation I'm talking about.
Anyway. I've been thinking about getting into therapy and I hope I find one who will gladly accept writing as a heavy form of communication between us.
Insulting someone's intelligence is the FASTEST way to lose any chance of opening them up. It's degrading, and it's not what we are in therapy to experience.
I totally agree with the approach of asking why they do not want to be there. My first session I spent the whole 45 minutes giving all the reasons why I should not need therapy. Why I should be able to deal with my stuff alone. My therapist let me go on about it until in the end she told me. You know in the last 40 minutes you have used the word “should” 75 times? Why are you so hard on yourself?”
This has changed my life.
i had a very similar experience, i was ranting for most of my first session about not wanting to make amends with family that hurt me. and at the end of the session my therapist pointed out that i described myself as "a hypocrite" everytime i talked about going no contact, because i felt like they needed my help bc they were going thru stuff too. and she pointed out that "its not hypocritical to want to protect yourself from harm, especially from people who have proven that they can in the past" huge weight off my shoulders, like yes those family members clearly need help, but it doesnt have to be from me, and im not a bad person for not wanting to help ppl that hurt me.
I had similar experience with my therapist. I was lucky because my brother went to her first, and after his 1st or 2nd visit my dad had a brilliant idea that we all should go (separately). So, she spoke with my brother and dad (mom's dead) and then spoke to me.
I knew I needed therapy since I was 16. I was ~24/25? She listened to me for the whole hour and at the end she said that I present stuff like I wanted to make everything seem ok, and if I continue this way I'll never be happy. It was such a shock because all I wanted was to stop feeling so miserable all the time.
I'm not fully healed (to my liking 😃) yet, but after 7 or 8 years of therapy I'm well enough that I stopped.
That's a good therapist. One question. Boom. My favorite therapist in the world, the one who brought me back and helped me untangle old trauma did the same exact thing. Asked one question, then sat back and watched my brain explode.
If I found out a stranger read my unpublished stories and gave their opinion without warning, I’d also run because as a writer, I see the things in my stories that my characters have in common with me and it’s embarrassing and uncomfortable if someone relates those opinions or habits back to me no matter if they correctly figured out which are mine and which aren’t.
Agreed. If they were published, or she'd given her permission, it would be different, but this feels weirdly invasive.
Fun fact: potpourri used to be primarily made out of edible items that also happened to be fragrant with a long shelf life due to being dried, so I would say that considering the Adams' inclination towards archaic fashions and customs, it's not unlikely that they would have edible potpourri in their own home, thus making Pugsley's actions somewhat reasonable.
What is potpourri?
@@33pandagamer The simple answer is dried, fragrant plant material, but there's more that goes into it than just drying plants. Its existence spans back to ancient times, and used to consist of edible plants including mostly herbs, and spices, but "aesthetic" varieties have existed for as long as the dish has in which perfumes are added and "scent fixatives" which help the dried material slow release their scents over prolonged periods. These days a lot of the materials used to make potpourri are really just interested in being a slow-release perfume for residential rooms, so they're made out of many inedible materials including synthetic chemicals to act like a diffuser.
Yeah except modern potpourri is crusted in all kinds of fragrances and tastes like shit. I say this because my dumb child ass ate some and was sorely disappointed.
Never again. Looks delicious, is NOT FOOD.
Now, fruit chips, you bet. I love dried fruit. Just... fruit. Not the cancer dust that smells pretty.
@@DefconDelta88 Haha, oh that sounds like an utterly terrible childhood lesson. I love your description of it, though. And yes, fruit chips are awesome!
@@OlyChickenGuy At least I never ate the foam fruit at IKEA. 🤣
Dr Kinbott was set up to be the major antagonist, only to be exactly how she presented herself, caring deeply about her patients. Most notably, she points out that Wednesday isn't as cold or callous as she likes to pretend she is, making frequent visits to Eugene while he's in a coma.
They made Kinbott highly incompetent on purpose to make her look suspicious. At the end of the day she was just *incredibly bad* at her job.😅Which is why I LAUGHED when Wednesday defined her"highly qualified"or something like that...🤣girl..she's literally *the worst therapist ever!!*
@@Nicamon right behind you on that!!! 😂
@@Nicamon She reminds me of school psychologists, tbh. They’re the psychologist equivalent of “those who can’t do, teach.”
@@BeeWhistler Ouch!!X-S I hope they're not _all_ like that. I don't think my schools have ever had psychologists in them,but if a school _has_ one,it better be good,since (s)he has to deal with kids or teenagers...
@@BeeWhistler school counselors suck so much, they dont know how to do their job at all. tbh being a therapist doesn't just require the degree it also requires a certain kind of skillset and way of seeing things
The fact I connected with Wednesday as a child and recent realized I’m autistic, and the fact you mentioned she has symptoms - you have validated me in ways I’ve been denied my whole life (and am still being denied). It’s sickening, when you realize how few therapists even think about girls/women having ASD. I’ve got novels of stories (of my experiences) for that genre alone. It’s so painful not to be seen, especially when you’re screaming it so blatantly. Thank you.
I get what you mean. I have Social Anxiety, and not meny people seem to get it. People think that I'm just shy, or that I hate people, but that's not the case at all. The thing is, people with social anxiety have an irrational fear of being judged, that they'll say something wrong or say it in the wrong tone, that they'll make a mistake and be forever outcasted because of that. So when someone walks up to me and initiates a conversation with me, I freeze. I want to talk, I want to say something, but I can't, the words just won't come out. And so I get branded as the loner quite kid, and my teacher either think I'm really shy or that I hate them for some reason, all because I don't talk. The worst part is that I can't even correct them. It's hard to talk when I'm calm, it's even harder to talk when I emotional.
@@33pandagamer I have literally been teaching my kids Valyrian, just to avoid using any known languages in front of others. There is no help for me, only solitude from the world. 😂
Kinbott reminds me of my first therapist a little, in the way she speaks to Wednesday.
I had a lot of anxiety due to being bullied, to the point that I would pass out all the time. When I started seeing him, he would speak to me as if I was a child or an injured puppy, even though I was 14. Eventually he managed to get me to open up by asking about my hobbies, which were reading, painting and drawing (I was painting and drawing nature scenes), and he acted really interested. But, at the end of the session, when he asked to speak to my mom privately, he told her to stop allowing me to paint, draw or read because, according to him, I was using those things to avoid growing up. My mom told me about it on the way home, but didn't stop me form doing anything, which really annoyed him. He told me that I needed to toughen up, and I would never be able to do that if I kept hiding behind my childish hobbies. After about three months he told my mom that he was going to have to stop treating me, because my mom and I were obviously unwilling to do the work.
The next therapist I saw brought coloring pencils in after I told her about my hobbies, and she allowed me to draw while we talked, which was much nicer, and made it really easy to talk to her.
That’s not just a bad therapist, he’s a crap person too. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m happy it sounds like your new therapist is a lot better
He's clearly a quack. I'm not trained and even I know that's not right. It's like calling the creator of Michelangelo childish, I believe it was Davinci but idk, idc, art isn't my thing. I'm glad your mom was onto him and supported you going to therapy.
Damn, that's pretty cold-hearted.
GUESS YA GOTTA BE ILLERATE TO BECOME AN ADULT! Man... YEARS wasted in English learning grammar when I was supposed to have no reading skills at all!
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!"
"... How can I do that? I don't have bootstraps-"
"PULL YOURSELF UP BY YOUR BOOTSTRAPS!"
@@astraamarante6233 Lol... my thoughts exactly. Since when is reading a bad thing? I thought reading improved language and communication skills, guess I was wrong. But seriously, he was ridiculous, he genuinely believe art of any kind was childish.
I’ve always had a problem with therapy. Like, I’m pretty sure I’m autistic, but, with the five psychologists I went to, none recognised any syndromes (if not autistic then another form of neurodivergence). I went to therapy because I didn’t really get along with other kids, I have always been terrible at socialising, something I just got better at now after a year of university (a year before I couldn’t even look strangers in the eye, now it’s still uncomfortable, but I manage it). I went into therapy thinking: this isn’t going to work (spoiler, it didn’t. Haven’t been to a therapist/psychologist since… 6 years, maybe?). Like I went to individual psychologist and that did nothing, to group therapy, which I hated with my life. Also, it seems that psychologist don’t understand me, mostly because I was smart enough to know what to say so I could get out of there (I have no idea what I said to them but since I’m no longer there, I guess it worked), but also once I went to my school’s psychologist (it was obligatory, plus I got to skip class) and she told me to draw “a girl walking in the rain”. I did so, she was walking on the middle of the street, hands in her pockets because I’m not that good at drawing. Then my mom got called being like: she is super depressed basically suicidal (this part is according to my mom) because she draw a dead girl. I did not, but when my mom told me this I was like: huh, that wasn’t my intention but that is such a better story thanks (I’m a writer and a lover of creepy, dark, mysterious things). Same thing happened when we had to write a short story on sixth grade for a literature test and I was so damn tired of happy endings that I wrote about a boy who got drowned in a tsunami (my most feared natural disaster). I was not depressed, I was simply bored of stupid happy endings that had no meaning
Anyway, if you read this entire thing (wow, it’s so long), have a nice day and week and year and life lol
You too have a nice day, week, year and life
Try not to mask your neurodivergence too much, even for uni, else you'll just burn out, like I have :/
Try not to force yourself to look people in the eyes if it makes you uncomfy, why should you have to make yourself uncomfortable for their own comfort, why should you have to alter your natural behaviours just because they perceive them as disrespectful and apply their own skewed meanings onto it. You deserve better.
I relate quite a bit especially to the beginning though I have A.D.D. I studied many years in a school that apparently specialized in noticing adhd and autism in students but no one noticed anything in me even though I had big problems due to ADD throughout my time in that school. I also went to therapy for many years and none of the therapists ever noticed anything. Then at one point the therapists had to make their clients do some adhd and autism tests (on paper) so I just filled in the file. The therapist went through it and then just looked at me like "...Oh...". I got diagnosed soon after that.
Yeah the major problem is, therapy is made for and by Neurotypical people, so it really doesn't work for anyone who isn't. Unless the therapist is willing to throw what they've learnt out of the window and create a new approach with their ND client. Which very few of them are.
I appreciate how quickly you recognized possible autism. Everyone's first instinct is to fix, but autism doesnt mean broken. Just different.
Its difficult, especially for myself lately. It's been getting increasingly difficult to maintain work because the schedules always change, hours changing from 8 to 10 to 12 and back, random forced overtime.. Not to mention I have ringing in my ears that wont quit and I can never have my precious silence again. I get overstimulated very easily these days. But the worst part, is that I dont have an official diagnosis because I cant afford to get one, and I cant keep a job to make the money. I already lost my car which is making everything about the situation ten times more difficult.
I'm sorry for the dump here... but i know if i had been recognized earlier and gotten support younger I'd be in a better spot. Its upsetting knowing that I'm not alone, and that it goes even further unnoticed in women
Dang, that's tough. I can relate to the sensory issues. It sucks. I hope you're able to get the diagnosis/accomodations you need. It's a hard place to be, hang on I believe in you
I love that they portrayed Kimbot the way they did. She was the worst kind of therapist for Wednesday (which doesn't mean she is a lousy therapist in general). Still, more often than not, people go to therapy hoping that it might help them and go out disappointed and think, "Well, therapy isn't for me, I guess," even though they went to the best therapist in town. They believe something must be wrong with them if therapy hasn't the effect they wished for. Many people have a similar experience with their therapist like Wednesday, and can't pinpoint WHY they think it isn't working out. Dr. Kimbot isn't the stereotypical "bad therapist" we get in many movies and series, but she is the perfect example of how it shouldn't look AND feel if you go to therapy. Those scenes allow people to look at their own experiences from an outside perspective without making them uncomfortable. I will be a social worker in a few months (in Germany, so our training might be very different in other countries). We have a course that I would translate to "conversation and consultation, " primarily based on Carl R. Rogers. If I meet my professor by any chance, I would recommend this video and the scenes with Kimbot to her. It is a perfect example of how you can still mess up big times even though you technically did many things right
I think Dr. Kimbot has toxic positive issues, because she always positive and tries to make everyone else positive‼ The issue Kimbot has is she’s not good with confrontation because she doesn’t always take charge. However I give her points for effort‼
The first mistake for a therapist is to "take charge" with someone smart enough to know some basics in analyzing things and people.
@@MildarValsik I’m not a therapist, but I do work with kids so sometimes I have to be in problem solving mode. I’m guessing therapist has to do that sometimes. However I don’t think I’d follow Kimbot’s way of doing things because toxic positivity is wrong‼
@@grodriguez7225 i suspect many wouldn't. It be a very bad use of a talent. However I think in the show the character wasn't a therapist. More like a hired hand to investigate Wednesday under the hidden identity for the gain she seeked.
@@MildarValsik Maybe Kimbot could be a private investigator?! However that means she would be doing double work to not only understand Wednesday, give her advice, but also keep an eye on her. Again I know very little about being a therapist or being a private investigator for that matter.
I really like and appreciate my therapist. She's helped me with my PTSD so much because her personality is a match for mine and she's always willing to come down to my level to help me. You mentioned that if the patient isn't open to talking that you'd probably spend most of that session "chewing the fat" to help get them comfortable and build rapport with them and that's exactly the right call in my experience. I remember a session I had with my therapist where I was completely on edge and not coping well and just COULDN'T dig in to anything painful or even begin chipping away at my issues for that session. I just needed to unwind for a few minutes. She saw that and we spent the entire hour just talking about fanfiction and our favorite video games. Just that one low stress, no pressure session helped relieve some of the tension and helped me get through that tough week and come back the next session ready to tackle the serious stuff again.
Seeing the therapist in Wednesday come at her so aggressive and breaching her trust by immediately bringing up her novels and judging her by them made me cringe so hard. That is NOT a good therapist.
Would absolutely kill to see this sort of thing on The Umbrella Academy. Literally every single character has so much going on psychologically 😳
I had a youth group, most of whom were in the foster system. They were rolling their eyes as the useless of life. As you suggest, I matched their tone and energy and ended up with one of the best, if far from ordinary camp session.
Instead of "matching", current counseling courses in college mention it as "meeting the client where they're at" which I find interesting to see the difference in the field as it keeps changing and growing!
I would love to have a cinema therapy episode on this show!
I've had bad experiences and good with therapy. The time my school made me see a councillor was the worst. She was uninteresting, talked mostly about the seniors that were 'practically her best friends' and let students walk into our session since she left the door open. I sat there and just stared at her until the bell rang and I could leave. I then told the teachers that if they sent me back I'd just walk out. They knew I was serious so didn't force me.
My current therapist is amazing. There was things I thought I couldn't voice, like that when I was pregnant I felt the doctors at the hospital ignored issues that nearly cost me and my baby our lives simply because I am a woman and she recognised that and voiced her own frustrations she had experienced first, assuring me I wasn't the only one who had that problem. I wish it wasn't a thing but it is nice to know it's not in my head.
My first two therapists weren't effective; the first one was basically giving me homework that I had to do and give back to her at the beginning of each session and was trying a cognitive behavioral approach, which was not the kind of treatment I needed. The second one tried to invalidate my feelings and told my mom not to let me play D&D because it's bad. I decided I didn't need therapy because at that point I'd gotten nothing positive from my time with either of those therapists. A few years later I started going to psychotherapy and it was exactly what I needed. I've been seeing the same person for a decade now and it's definitely helped me.
TL;DR: If the first therapist you try isn't the right fit, don't give up. It may take a few tries but when you find the right therapist for you it can make such a difference in your life.
03:12 the acting! Teeny little micro expression that shows that statement affected her.
I have had some excellent therapists and I've had therapists ask me for advice. 😂 You never know what you're going to get, I guess.
As a kid I was really good at getting therapists to talk about themselves. It took a long time to find a therapist that matched me, and could get me to open up.
An analogy my therapist used with me was that the challenges I was facing were like a wound. Therapy would help me clean the wound, and it would sting and hurt, but would help keep that wound from getting infected and it would heal better in the long run.
I have been to about 15 different therapists off & on over the past 30 years due to childhood abuse, all the problems that stemmed from that, & continue to this day. I never really connected with any of them, which is why I never stuck with them. The first therapist I had when I was 9 years old really helped in that she made sure I knew & accepted that the abuse wasn't my fault.
When the therapist mentions the novels, you can see a slight reaction on Wednesday's face. (Kudos to Jenna Ortega for the well-done subtle differences in facial expression.) Wednesday felt violated by this ambush by the therapist. It was at that moment I think the therapist was doomed to never obtain Wednesday's trust, and was also the moment Wednesday decided to escape.
You were absolutely right in talking about the matching. Kinbott was likely the only therapist in the town, so it may not have been an option. That said, if Kinbott knows she's the only option, it's up to het to match her clients. It made for a great TV show to have such a contrast in personalities, but in terms of actual therapy, this was a disaster.
I enjoyed your analysis. Great job!
You actually would have begun to reach me if, even if the first whole session had been about books. Just talking about books I liked and why, that actually would have begun to make me feel comfortable. Never underestimate people the power of talking about books. 😁
true. Sometimes in the sessions with my psychiatrist, we talk about books or shows or song-texts, and it makes sense. I f they speak to me enough that I feel like mentioning them in therapy, it is because something about them targets me, and that is worth talking about.
One example which I could always pin on my depression is the bit "I find it kind of funny - I find it kind of sad - the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" from "Mad World" by Michael Andrews. In fact the whole song is quite depressing... but I really have said dreams on a regular basis, and the lyrics nail my feelings.
Mad World is one of my favorite songs of all time. I also find a lot of songs by Citizen Soldier really speak to me as well as someone who used to be a cutter and suicidal back in my teens. I highly recommend Citizen Soldier's music.
Absolutely. It's a great way to establish trust and understanding.
Amen! For the people in the back!!!!
Oh, absolutely! I was an only child in a military family that moved every three years at least, and never had any close friends. I also was a voracious reader, especially of science fiction and fantasy, I would connect much better talking about books, both fictional and about history.
The information helps a lot.
I do Art Therapy though I'm more of an artist who've been through a lot. I'm a teacher/storyteller as well, I understand how "matching" is pretty important. I feel that I'm on the right track reading this.
I have this THEATRE FOR HEALING student that continuously do these workshops because she feels seen.
That's her M.O.. I was able to match her and what she needs. She listens more now.
We discuss how she feels at the start of the class or observe if she needs to let out. I give her choices what art/media form that she wants to express herself with. Then I match the exercise/learnings (because it's also a workshop at the same time) her needs and what art form she wants to use to release it.
I only talk about things if she wants to talk about it. I stopped when she feels stressed and uncomfortable.
you know if Dr.Kinbott showed/talked about her taxidermy art that would have helped Wednesday form that initial bond!!!
I remember not matching with someone who tried to counsel me. I hated every moment of it. I ended up developing resentment for that person because they were annoyingly happy and wanted me to just be like that without letting me go through it at my own pace. So, I resonated with that.
me and my therapist clicked so well that it feels like I'm talking to a friend, she once told me that she is amazed by how much I grew up during our sessions because I was open from the start and I accepted the uncomfortable and understood it was for me to grow
I really enjoyed watching this. I'm currently training to be a counsellor, and it's always so helpful to hear experienced counsellors speak about their techniques and particular approaches to dealing with certain situations.
I’ve been on and off of therapy for years and the last one I went to left me with a hatred for therapists 😞
I always had this trauma that therapists didn’t respect the patient confidentiality and when I got the courage to go with her, she deadass told me all my mom’s problems in the first session (she was my family’s therapist)…
I have a problem opening up because of the same thing and she scolded me, saying it was useless to continue with sessions if I was not going to open and I decided to just give up with that completely…
Watching this single episode (because I’ve seen lots of your videos lol) made me realize that that therapist was shit and I’ve been unlucky… still not ready to meet a new one tho
I can't tell how much I can conform that forced therapy will never work. I've been forced a lot and, dealing with anorexia, having my weight targeted in a (felt?) exclusive way instead of adress the underlying issues. So many...
Years later, as an adult, until today, I found a psychiatrist I work well with (since more than a decade) and I can choose. It's crucial for me to be respected like by none of the thearapists I met as a teenager. I felt like I needed help long before, was most likely depressed even as a child, and the massive weight gain had many functions for me. In the end it was a teacher who reacted and send me to the shool psych even before my mother did anything. And I remeber it was my goal, somehow. Continue loosing weight until she HAD TO react. Well I got in therapy then (not her decision though. At first she was angry....), but it was boon and bane, because as I said the focus back then was mostly the number of pounds on the scale.
The anorexia is mostly "untypical" in my case (and changed a lot during the years util the "chronified form" I live with today. That's why also I usually use "eating disorders" as term, exactly because it is different from the typical original manifestation), and I have several other issues. Sorry for digressing, but with that long journey through mental health topics it's kind of hard not to.
I still have a very long way to go (and am having a big down right now and since last november), but the crucial steps I managed to take forward were all just possible when the force was taken out of the system, when my psychiatrist really listened and understood and allows me to have a say in what issues we are targeting...
@mangantasy I'm so glad you found someone who respected you and looked at your whole situation instead of just focusing on your weight. I don't know a lot about eating disorders, but from the bits I've seen on tv etc, it seems like the disordered eating is a form of self-medication, a bit like an alcoholic drinks to numb the pain or forget, people with an eating disorder are often seeking control because they've had a life event that has made them feel as if they have no control. Am I on the right track? I really hope you stay in a good place!!
@@sherrijennings9309 thank you very much for your kind words. And yes, control played a big role for me too, as in most of the fellow patients I met in various institutions. My mother was extremely strict and I had very little freedom in any aspect of my life. Many more aspects that partly changed over time. For example being early on also "cheap" because after my mother left my father with us two girls (I have an older sister) money was a big issue, and the less I ate the more I could "help" in that.
And you're absolutely right too in the suspicion that the troubled eating somehow helps to cope with other issues. Another point my psychiatrist fully understands: that although it is of course a problem, it still helped me back then and somehow until today. I've been living with it for so longer, actually longer than without, that I can't even imagine myself without it. It's complicated.
@@sherrijennings9309 It can definitely vary, but what all eating disorders have in common is that there's always something underlying. It's not about the weight, the eating, the binging, it's about something below all that, which manifests in our eating disorders. It's an unhealthy coping tool. I personally feel like the reason increasing our weight is so focused on with anorexia is because it's killing us slowly, and so the idea is that treatment needs to focus on stabilizing our body's health so that we can work on stabilizing our mind's health. I'm not a professional, so I don't know if that's accurate, just my impression from being on the other end of things.
It was a relief to me when I found a name for my eating disorder, even though it was "EDNOS" (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). I finally had an explanation why I didn't seem to match what I was reading about other eating disorders and why treatments felt like such a bad fit - it's because they were a bad fit. That's when I really started making progress in healing.
@@runnerfrog13 I feel you. It's surprising how much a diagnose/having a name for the issue that is troubling you can be of comfort. PLUS of course it can be the first step for better treatment.
What always helps me soo so much is that you can name your issue when for example you and up in hospital and have to explain yoursaelf. So much time saved when you have a name for tha madness that your condition might be. I felt this e.g. a lot with my AvPD, because trying to describe all the sympltoms and daily challenges linked to it just take so much energy.
I hope that you can continue healing.
I had a therapist "match" me and yeah she got my full trust but the last session I went she just told me all this time she wasn't really herself during therapy, more like a mirror to help me figure my own stuff out and I should not care about "her" opinions which is solid, though I now feel like I was just being played with and humiliated. Good message worst delivery possible IMO.
Specially because we were working trust issues and opening up to people and not thinking strangers were out to take advantage of me or betray my trust in some way; a lot of it is low self esteem which thankfully is much better now, again, good intentions but I applied them to me in the worst possible way, not cool.
I had two therapist in my life to help me deal with my childhood traumas. Both of them were really different but very helpful in their own way. My last therapist was very young (probably around my own age (23), she was really soft and made jokes which was fine because I do too, and since our conversations were not really fun, it helped me going through the whole session.
My first therapist was older, more serious but still very soft, reassuring. Less jokes but brutally honest about my options and about what I was expressing.
I liked that and I needed that. Both of them did an amazing job, and I feel like they adapted to who I am without changing who they were.
I'm writing a book about a soldier whose court ordered to have therapy and doesn't want to be there either. You advice is so aweosme. Thank you :)
So good that you mentioned that! The part of matching! I've recently been to a psychiatrist for ADHD evaluation (get! Yaaay!) and I know so much about psychology and therapy by now (with only very few personal experience with official therapy session!) that it instantly struck me where the psychiatrist showed judgemental behaviours and biases. But I was fine working around that for the sake of evaluation. But there was something else that slightly rubbed me the wrong way and I wasn't quite sure what it was! Matching! That's what it was. I was missing that where I needed it.
And it's not like the session was bad or anything. It's more that I observed how often "I would have had a problem here, here, now, with this... if I wasn't so well put together when it comes to intelligence, psychology knowledge and emotional regulation". And I knew what it feels like to be better matched and discuss really difficult stuff with people around me.
It will definitely make a huge difference in therapy, when the client is not OK and can't regulate well yet and doesn't currently have the capacity to "not take it personally" etc. etc.
Instantly knew I'd need to pick better for the actual therapy sessions (which I got directed towards). Looking forward to seeing if I can match somewhere around here. By now I've learned that we neurodivergent bunch tend to click with each other especially, cause we're more likely to have shared experience around that part of the spectrum of being human. A part of why I felt instantly comfortable with you, Jonno, and don't mind finding your edges and corners more, over time, here and on Cinema Therapy.
Matching is like half the rent in this. Maybe more than half even. Technical knowledge about psychology and skill in handling social situations cannot cover what "matching" can!
I can only imagine how emotionally drained a therapist could be every after session. How do you guys deal with all of these?
I've had a lot of hit and misses with all but one of my therapists. To be fair, for the second-to-last one, she wasn't bad, she just wasn't a 'fit', but I had no other option (she was the only one accepting new patients in my age group who was remotely close to where I lived) and it was a requirement for me to see her. Sadly, probably the worst experience I've had with therapists was in one of the worst 'crisis' parts of my life.
School and my peers were and always have been my primary source of stress, depression and anxiety and it only got worse in middle school. I was admitted to an outpatient school mixed with therapy / counseling for kids with mental health and behavioral problems (it probably had a specific name, I don't remember), for one of my grade years, with about 6-8 other students, two separate counselors and a teacher. At first everything was kind of neutral between the other kids and me and the counselors, but my extreme social anxiety and dislike of my peers that was instilled in me from years of bullying from first grade to then, I had the same problem as I did in my actual school and was bullied and isolated from any group activities, friendships, etc, and felt even more miserable than I did before. The counselors were borderline negligent if not outright detrimental in this regard, as they ended up essentially picking favorites of the students that weren't me, and would ignore any problematic behavior towards me.
One of the girls ended up threatening to stab my eye out with a pencil in class and after we were physically separated by each therapist for a bit because I got up and dared her to try, the therapist blocking me in had the gall to scold *me* for defending myself while I saw and audibly heard the other counselor trying to soothe and console the girl who just threatened me. After that the therapists never really even acknowledged my presence, the same as my peers, and I never felt so alone and abandoned by people who were supposed to help me. I can say with 100% confidence that my time there actively made my mental health problems considerably worse.
My experience with therapy: I am an artist and I've been in art school since 6th grade (here in my country that is possible). Previously to that, in 5th grade, while I was still in search of my path I went for guidance and self-discovery to someone authorized. She did all the necessary tests and concluded I was made for humanistic jobs/languages/arts and started to talk to me, and my parents (with my consent) about that. But then, the therapist's own daughter entered one of the most prestigious highschools in town/even in the country here, on an intensive math and informatics profile, were is super difficult to enter, because you need ridiculously high grades, and not only brains to obtain them but steel nerves. Suddenly, my therapist started rumbling about how her daughter also has talent in creative writing (as I did) and languages, and even arts (as I also did)... but she gave them aaall up because her dream was to pursue a path at that specific highschool, on specifically intensive maths and informatics. Aaand (here comes the tricky part) my therapist started suggesting I should do the same! 😆 For ”there is no future in being an artist/writer/linguist”, as opposed to the bright, rich, future of being in ITst/informaticist/roboticist. And thus I should throw out the window all of who I innately was, for it was garbage! 😆Luckily my parents had the eyes to see that the woman had gone nuts, blinded by her own pride, and they supported me in transferring to art school. I was miserable at my previous, ”normal” school. I already was in an intensive math class, and in primary school there, math was absolutely praised (and if you dared love anything else, you were garbage). I didn't fit with anybody - not what I learned, not the teachers, and certainly not my peers. It was HELL. And my sweet sweet therapist suggested switching one hell... for another! While well knowing what I was enduring! I wish I had back then all the resources we have today, and someone like you guys, here on the channel, and on Cinema Therapy, and on many other channels as such, to enlighten me. I am extremely grateful for y'all 💗
I am sorry you got taken advantage of as a gifted student.
From this description my suspicion would be that the Therapist's daughters' dream was actually the Therapist's dream for her daughter and her daughter gave up her art interests to please her mother, I highly doubt the Therapist would be able to hide her distain for her daughters art interests.
You sound like my daughter. When she started therapy at age 12 she mentioned that she loved art and wanted to be an artist, and one of the things she loved the most was Japanese anime. The therapist told her “to stop liking it” because she would not be able to “fit in” with others because it was not mainstream! My daughter told me this while I was driving, and I almost crashed the car. Never went back there again. I told my daughter that I would look for another therapist if she wanted to, but she said not to bother. Of course, a lot of her friends in HS turned out to love anime too, and today a lot of people are into it, so the therapist’s prediction did not come true. 😂
@@favforsue so happy that your daughter found her place too
I’m proud that my bestie and I are both in Therapy. Hoping my partner will too..
I feel like Therapists are essentially professional friends. Trained to do all of these things people could need.
I can definitely resonate with what you said about needing to feel a sense of bonding with your therapist. A few years ago, my husband and I sought therapy after series of events left us both with various difficulties and were scheduled for a joint session with a therapist. As my needs and difficulties were not as obvious from the outside, and being a more introverted person than my husband, the therapist seemed to latch more onto my husband and his previous experiences than on me. My husband has been through a lot, but the fact that he'd seen a therapist before, as a child, seemed to attract the therapist we were seeing more than anything else, and almost the entire session focused on him.
The next session, my husband decided to not attend, leaving me to fly solo, which I was okay with, thinking maybe I could actually start to convey the things I know I need to work through. I tried to convey a lot of the things I"d been through and was trying to work through on my own and maybe I overwhelmed the poor man. It didn't help that I'd recently lost my mom to cancer, which I mentioned. The therapist seemed more concerned with what my dad was going through, and my husband, then what I was, but I decided to give it another session.
The third session, it was more of the same, like he didn't even know how to approach the things I'd broached the previous session. I don't know if it was outside anything he'd come across before or he just didn't know how to relate to me, but it kind of left a sour taste in my mouth when he kept insisting we talk about how my dad was dealing with my mom's death, how my husband was doing, instead of anything about me. I think I can definitely say we didn't really "bond".
My experience with therapists? Indifferent, out of touch, wrapped up in their own pet procedures and many don’t even call you back to say they can’t see you. They forget who you are between sessions and spend most of those sessions writing notes for that books they’re writing. They let you yap on and on and then suggest you buy “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” They entirely miss clues of neurodivergence. They can go pound sand.
I went to therapy when I was 11 for depression. The therapist was.. not a good fit. She spoke to me like I was a child and so for the first session I just completely ignored her and sat there quietly. On the second session I decided to respond when she asked the question "Why are you here?" I replied, "I am here because adults like you believe that a child like me is incapable of dealing with ostracization and bullying in a constructive manner. They think that my demeanor reflects some inner turmoil that will devour me if they don't weasel their way in and dig it out. I disagree with their position and your actions so far have only reinforced my perspective." Then I shut down and didn't respond again. After the second session she told my parents that it was impossible to work with me and doubted that therapy would help my situation.
I really _really_ empathize with Wednesday.
I have had a few therapists that I didn't mesh with. One of them had the idea that vitamin supplements would help me. I didn't go back to him. Then I found a great therapist who I really trust and get along with. When I have a problem, it usually only takes 1-2 sessions with her to come to a point where I no longer need her help. She and I mesh so well together and she has helped me so much in my OCD/ anxiety battle
you’ve made me wanna get therapy like I’ve always known I needed therapy but you’ve made me actually wanna do it and ur videos (first one on this channel watched more on cinema therapy) but I’ve noticed I’ve become a lot more mentally healthy since starting to watch ur channel
hearing jono say "have some cojones" literally made my day as a spanish person JAJAJAJ
0:05 I am going to do this on the way to my psychologist tomorrow LOL
I went to therapy once (for whatever reason) when I was about 12 years old. We ended up talking about me suffering bullying since I started school at 6/7. She told me to imagine my bullies as pink elephants. I answered (sarcasm mode on) "And with a ballet skirt 🙄". She said genuinely it was a good idea. The reason I was sent there disappeared so I wouldn't have to hear that kind of nonsense again.
It's VERY difficult to gain my trust, but it's really easy to lose my respect 🤷🏻♀️
Been waiting for this one!!! 😊😊
I just want to say, thank you for making videos like these. I find them so educational, yet fun! I believe they are also insightful as to how you are as a therapist, which I believe is inspirational for those that perhaps are afraid to go to therapy, or even helpful for other therapists. Thank you for all you do. ❤
I feel like in a lesser extent, Dr Kimbot is kind of just every well meaning person who fails to understand the oddballs that come through their life. Parents, other family members, teachers, therapists, etc...I saw so much of myself in those interactions. It wasn't that I didn't want to connect and talk at that time in my life, it's that I truly felt nobody got me and it would be a waste of my time. That I'd just end up being misunderstood and spoken down to. Made to feel like I was a freak. And even if she was well meaning, Dr Kimbot's chipper behavior came across as quite condescending at times towards Wednesday. Smug. All Wednesday saw was just another person to rip to shreds at that point.
Wednesday as a teenager is such a great concept. So glad you visited this show with insights.
I went to therapy initially for depression and general anxiety roughly 11 years ago. I felt dismissed and not very validated when the therapist told me it was all over stress about wanting to be pregnant and that it was better when I did get pregnant.
I'm currently in therapy to rectify a hoarding mentality and I found a therapist that vibes better with me. I don't feel belittled and I actually look forward to doing the work I need to do with her.
Wednesday wrote 3 books as kids, very intelligent, but has violent impulses, because of her family are well weird and don’t mind murder or horrible things. It’s pretty much a book about a a teenage detective, that solves crimes in a dark misunderstood teenager that as a detective. I could see her books like that with sell especially to teenagers and some adults probably. And only reason they didn’t publish it is because she is still a child that’s probably why. A teenage detective solving crimes, I know it’s been done before, but will definitely be interesting.
I feel like this is a teaching lesson for fellow therapists! lol I feel like this is also a great way to connect with coworkers lol
Oh man, I remember the worst therapist I had who pulled something similar to Dr. Kimbott's first session but in a way more aggressive way when I was 14- she was seeing almost all of my bio family and I was being seen last. She literally started in on trying to get me to talk about abuse that happened a decade earlier right after introducing herself, and did not accept "I don't remember" as an answer. After pushing it for 15-20 minutes, she spent the rest of the session lecturing me on how not unpacking that trauma was ruining my life and would only get worse from there. I think I only saw her a couple more times before the state insurance stopped paying for it, and all of those sessions were just me tersely answering her as I got more and more angry about her grilling me about things I did not remember (and still don't). I've had a few other, much better, therapists since then.
I have never had a therapist that was helpful. It always just ends up being good conversation that I'm paying for. I end up giving them advice. I have had the biggest breakthroughs on my own with studying the Enneagram and attachment theory.
I would love to see you analyze Dr. Akopian from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
no joke 100000% of the reason i avoid therapy like the plague is because i always get the one people think i need, the therapist like the lady in wednesday. All business, no actual feeling or personality. it's excessively manicured cheerfulness. it feels fake as all get out and sets off alarm bells bc as someone with autism, i know anyone that treats me that way dos NOT want to connect. they want to keep me at arms length and diagnose me and im so used to this being someone's default interaction with me. It's Sterile kindness. If i had a guarantee i got an actual person like you and i could afford it i'd jump on it.
Even though you're not my therapist, you videos here and at cinema therapy with Adam have helped me so much. thank you for being so wonderful and human and REAL and bravely open.
Question: you said that if someone confesses of murder, the therapist has a duty to report (i.e. it is not protected by patient-therapist confidentiality). But consider if the patient doesn't clearly confess, or doesn't use the exact words, but from the context you suspect that he may have committed a crime; in this case, you report the suspicion or you can only report if there is a clear confession?
(It was actually a theme from a TV show episode many years ago; in the end the therapist reported his patient as a searched serial killer, but the patient was actually innocent and the therapist lost his license)
I can definitely see what you mean about matching energies. My first experience with a therapist was when I was around 14 years old, and it was absolutely terrible. I felt like I wasn't being heard or understood in the slightest. I actually wanted to receive and did ask for help. But despite trying my best to be open about what I was going through, I didn't really feel like my therapist cared based on how she would reply to what I was saying. It made me feel uncomfortable, and I just ended up closing up even more. The second time was in my early 20s and it was an excellent experience. My therapist was very empathetic and knew when to push and when not to. And like you said, he would ask me things like my hobbies and interests, and it would create casual conversation that made me feel more at ease, it even felt like talking to a friend. That experience really helped me process a lot of things I was going through, and I still use a lot of the things I learned from that process to this day whenever new obstacles come my way 😄
As a colleague I really like your approach.
I think a good therapist needs the abilities good parents have: empathy, ability to adapt to the needs of their clients, to be caring and nurturing and to be able to protect both themselves and the person they take care of if necessary. Sometimes we have to show a certain ability to be aggressive so our clients can feel safe. I've had clients that told me later that in the beginning they were worried their inner chaos would overwhelm and harm me. So my ability to be assertive when necessary helped them feel safe.
Your video made me think of my supervisor when I started out. He used to say that every successful therapy is a love story ☀️😊
My big dark heart would kill for a therapist like you.
I like that they didn't make Kinbott evil. My first therapist was a bad match for me, but he wasn't a bad person and he didn't mean me any ill will. He just didn't seem to respect my boundaries, which is an accident and something I forgive him for, and is also why I went to a different therapist. Sometimes people don't click. That doesn't mean they aren't good people.
I was very lucky. I matched very well with my counsellor. She is the only one I've ever had. I did make the decision myself to go to counselling and that probably meant I was more prepared to open up, but it definitely wasn't easy. However it was easier than opening up to any of my family or friends, as there is no bias attached to any situation I discussed.
I saw her for two years, did amazing and we ended our regular sessions with the power being left with me to do check-in sessions... which I never did and ended up in a bad place again during the pandemic. I am now nearly two years in to seeing her again and have once again felt my life begin to improve in so many ways.
I know not everyone can connect with their therapist/counsellor as easily as I did, so believe me, I am very aware of how lucky I am. I am also aware how much she has helped me and I am extremely grateful!
I like how around 10:10 you cross your arms and not look at the camera so much. It's like your personality completely changes as you are talking about it. It's amazing and very true that our body language is more powerful than spoken as I caught that faster than hearing your voice intonation changing. Again at 16:36, shifting weight and sitting taller to make yourself seem bigger. I don't think you noticed this either. I can see your personality changing as you shift to be another aspect. Hell you're better than most actors at this. To fit the scene.
I love the Wednesday series so much I watched it twice, enjoying it more the second time around while crocheting a snood. I may watch it a 3rd time just because it's fun and so I can get a better look at the sweaters. I've recently taken up crochet again to help process my stress and anxiety that sometimes rolls through my day-to-day. I love watching your episodes because they are funny and enlightening. Thank you for them.
Fellow therapist here. Love your videos, this one especially. Keep up the good work:)
It took me a long time to find a therapist I didn't see as 'fake' and someone being as themselves as I was- as open, as I had to be. And I found one in a school that isolated me, of all places. I still stay in touch, and nomatter what I want to find room to go to therapy with her specifically because that's what I need- tho not what I always want in the moment.
Well, I have been in two long term therapies so far but I also had encounters with diffrent therapists over the years.
My current therapist is one that I am glad I was able to find and work so long together with.
She really made me feel understood in my problems and also made me feel safe to cry and be upset when my feelings got dragged down.
So far I am glad that I took the steps in the past to seek therapy cause it helped me alot.
I am still dealing with lots, still I feel much better and stronger. More ready for the world.
On the other hand I had encountered therapists that were just awful in my eyes. Pretty sure their way to talk put me off and also how they tried to make me talk about stuff I was not ready to talk about was hurtful for me. With this I noticed that I don't boat well with thearpists who just sit there in silence and wait for me to start. This is not the way that I am comfortable with and will make me want to close up even more.
The two therapists I had long term made me feel safe to talk and that was something that I really needed.
Hope this is somehow helpful. English is not my native language so there might me some errors.
I enjoy your content and I also watch many of Cinema Therapy.
It's interesting to see your side on things and makes me curious about the topic of therapy in general.
Thank you for the videos and the interesting view on things in media.
They made Kinbott highly incompetent on purpose to make her look suspicious. At the end of the day she was just *incredibly bad* at her job.😅Which is why I LAUGHED when Wednesday defined her"highly qualified"or something like that...🤣girl..she's literally *the worst therapist ever!!*
BTW *I ADORE* Jenna's micro-expressions through the whole 1st session!🤩I also love this Pugsley..he's so cute!🥺
13:56 - 14:22 , 19:00 - 19:08 WHY-THE HELL-ARE THE ADDAMS-NOT BEHAVING-LIKE ADDAMS-IN THIS SHOW???😵 _Since when_ do you think murder is a bad thing to be ashamed of and to be scared to talk about?!?!
I grew up in the '90's, so my experience with "therapists" were school psychologists whose only vernacular were ADD & ADHD. I was falsely diagnosed with ADD and was constantly medicated by psychiatrists until 8th grade when I chose to stop taking the meds. I now have an aversion to the psych office and a general disdain for therapists who have the "Neal from The Santa Clause 1&2" approach.
My first and last therapist was a campus therapist and I was at the lowest place in my life (no friends, dying relationship, studying abroad, strict parents, etc). I really expected/ hoped that she would have the answers to my problems or at least find out what's wrong with me but it's mostly me talking and her advising me to be more proactive. I like her but it was so out of my comfort zone that I only stayed for 2-3 quarters.
5:05 While you're right, you're also missing the point that the therapist read her work without her permission. As a writer, our writing is very personal and where we often share some of our darkest thoughts or things we don't like about ourselves and others. It also is a great tool to survive toxic or unaccepting environments. When I went to a homophobic, religious private school, I often wrote LGBTQ+ romances and characters to help me cope with being LGBTQ+ myself. If I then had been told someone sent those over to a therapy session I hadn't chosen to go to myself, I would never trust that therapist again and would be seriously, emotionally wounded/paranoid after the fact.
Unless she actually did get it published, which she did not, it is a complete overstepping of a boundary to read a writer's most intimate works without their permission, no matter the reason for it. As you said, its about learning trust, and, with a writer, you have to earn that trust being even THINKING about touching their work like that.
Oh my goodness, I didn't expect this comment to correlate with me as much as it did.
If somebody has/had seen my work before I'd given them permission, I don't think I would('ve) ever trust(ed) that person with something personal again. Like what you said with our work being deeply personal, we write things that we struggle with ourselves. It's a huge invasion of privacy and deeply uncomfortable to have somebody ask you about certain points in your work, therapist or not. Like, if my therapist said, "Oh, I noticed the relationship Gray has with his mother, can we talk about that?" on our first session, I likely wouldn't schedule another session after that.
That's why it's so important to let the patient bring up the book or their hobbies instead of just jumping right into it. You are so right about this, thank you.
I really liked my therapist but I'm such an extreme people please that I felt I had to show improvement with each session. I'd talk to her about how great I was doing and then I was having breakdowns the rest of the week.
I started going to therapy last year and it was embarrassing to open up about my meltdowns, living in a mess due to chronic pain, & debt issues, but I’m now medicated for bipolar & ADHD, I’m going to have a home helper soon, and I’m having my debts consolidated.
Counseling Intern here - really appreciated this insight! Very helpful.
It's so true that there needs to be a bond a connection between the therapist and the client. When I was finishing up in college I was having such a hard time that I sought out the counselors on campus. Shortly after I started to get better then because I was graduating I couldn't see my counselor anymore. I wept I didn't know what I was going to do. She recommended me to someone and I pulled a Wednesday. That was back in 2016...haven't found/looked for another therapist.
I had a therapist as a teenager, but I never connected well with my therapist and constantly felt like I was being treated like an 8 year old boy when I was a 13 year old girl who was more mature for her age from helping take care of my sibling on the spectrum and helping my other sister with her daughter since she was a single mother. While I love my mother I know if I were to mention to her i didn't like my therapist she would of automatically shut down the conversation believing I was just complaining because I didn't want to see the therapist. As an adult now my mother has opened herself to me more, and I have become the friend who people come to for support, and to help them be guided into the right choices.
I had no idea you had another channel up until now! New videos to watch! :)
So I've had anxiety (and adhd) ever since I was a little kid. I used to go talk to a therapist and sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad. Once I had this therapist (who was German(i think), nothing against Germans), anyways he and I didn't really get along as well as I had liked. He just assumed a lot of things rather than me telling him things, like I told him that i used to be afraid of elevators when I was younger, and he assumed i was afraid of heights, when in reality I was paranoid of getting trapped in them with no way to contact anyone.
Another time when I was younger, I had a therapist, I think his name was Jason. Jason was so nice and helpful. He actually helped me get over my fear of elevators.
when I was even younger I had this therapist named Sam. I don't remember a whole lot about him, I was very young, but I remembered that he was also very nice.
So you will get along with some people better than others, and that's alright. If you don't get along with your current therapist, go find a new one!
I knew I needed therapy, and I went, and I worked. HARD! I love my therapist. We actually concluded therapy. There were times when I told her she'd have to provoke me to talk about the thing I didn't want to talk about. And she did. And I cried. And I dealt with the thing. And sometimes I text her when I have a Big Life Win that I couldn't have had without therapy.
Always appreciate your content!
First time I was sent to a counselor at 8, I didn't even know why I was there or what I was supposed to be doing. All I knew was that this strange, overly smiley lady was trying to talk to me and show me books about shyness. The sessions ended up being counterproductive. Why?
I was terrified of talking to adults who weren't my parents.
It wasn't until high school I found a counselor I was comfortable with. He didn't put me off with fake smiles. He was stern, but kind. He was the only one I wasn't forced to see.
I wish all therapists was like this guy
Got therapy first for my obsessive hair-pulling at 13. Had a good therapist that time around, but only had 2 or so sessions. After dad died when I was 15, the next couple therapists all spent several sessions chewing the fat. I understand why now, but it felt like I was wasting my time and I stopped going. Grief-while painful-is one of the most easily researched problems. They recommended books to read which probably helped, but I don't remember what I read. The most effective was the therapist I got in my mid-20s who ran a group cognitive behavioral therapy class to deal with generalized anxiety. Kinda feeling like it's time for another therapist. This has been helpful to understand how to find and assess a good match!
I've seen several therapists really hammer on Kinbots character as simply a bad therapist, using bad techniques and so on. And Id agree that some of what she does is more or less for TV purposes and exaggerated. But in terms of how she approaches Wednesday overall I look at it from the perspective of a therapist who knows tradtional techniques simply wont work on Wednesday, she eats therapists for breakfast so she uses an approach that is more on the level of Wednesday, more cerebral, confrontational, even adversarial at times, pushing right up to her in the same way Wednesday pushes back. Kinbot knows that Wednesday can read a room, she can smell BS and is hyper intelligent and isn't someone who should be handheld. Wednesday for her part understands and perhaps could even respect that approach. In essence useing traditionally bad techniques on Wednesday is probably the only way you'd even remotely have a chance of keeping her interested and engaged.
I agree with this. Other than the obvious time constraints and dramatization of a TV show, Kinbot struck me as a very gutsy, intelligent character from the get-go. She'd clearly done a lot of work to try to understand Wednesday's case, which undoubtedly included knowing a lot of dark things about the girl. For Kinbot to have agreed to take on the girl (and not...a school therapist? psychologist? I mean, seriously any normal boarding school would have one, and DEFINITELY several in a school for "outcasts"!) is a brave move, in my books. Kinbot also embodied a lot of the character reactions from the original TV show, without ever actually running away --- but actually attempting to face it. Within the universe, she's pretty remarkable. My guess is she might have been a bit sleep deprived and in shock from all of the research and stumbling through Wednesday's three books as well as her files.
So many things she does are extremely against ethical guidelines for therapists.
Wednesday is very much fighting back, and it's a horrible idea to worsen this adverserial relationship.
Making it clear that these sessions are there for her to express herself first and foremost would at least have been better than this clusterfuck.
Going to a therapist for the first time should be about getting to know each other and adjusting, not about letting the patient know that you have read every single unpublished thing they have written and that you already have preconceptions about what the Client is like and what they are dealing with based on fictional things.
It's also true that writing can reflect parts of our experience, but just because I like writing about political intruige and adoption doesn't mean that I am in favour of the position the characters hold or have any true relationship towards adoption or a bad relationship with my parents.
Kimbott is really just being a shitty therapist, no matter how you look at it.
If she knows that Wednesday can smell BS, why does she BS her?
I don't remember much of my first "therapist" but I remember I didn't exactly like her or the sessions we had. I wouldn't even call her a therapist. I had a VERY rough time going to school, due to mental health, the people within the school and so much more. So she was basically there to get me back into school, which I was really not fond of. I'm quite stubborn, I rarely took her "advice" seriously, and I rarely had session in the high school I went to. I mostly had them in my primary school, because she worked there.
I don't really like talking about my problems all the time. Of course I'd talk about them, when I want to, but I don't like talking about them all the time, especially when I already went through all of the problems in my life. It was having me go thinking back to the events, making me practically re-live it which was not ideal so I would rather talk about the things that interested me because that would put me in a way much better mood than talking about my problems.
BUT my "therapist" wouldn't let me. Every time I'd try to talk about my favourite games, tv shows, fictional characters, after I was done talking, she'd always bring up my problems again, especially when it involved school. I hated going to our sessions, but if I didn't want to feel like I was wasting her time so I just kept going. Even when she admitted that we should stop our sessions because they weren't working, my abandonment issues didn't want her to leave so I had to basically had to fake it that the sessions were helping so she'd stick around. I even had things "wrong" with me that I wanted to "fix". But nope, all he was concerned about was me getting back into school and wouldn't help me come to terms with any of my other issues. Thankfully I am no longer seeing her and I am in a much better place that does a way better job than she could ever do
You said a lot of things in this video that I really agree with. I have a good relationship with therapy and with my therapist, and generally consider myself open to the concept. But right off the bat I didn’t like Kinbott at all. She just didn’t seem like a genuine person, like her whole persona was: THERAPIST. I struggled to understand how she could help people with really complex issues, because there doesn’t seem like there’s anything complex to her.
In my own experience with my therapist, I knew I could trust her and connect with her because in our first session, she was able to pick up on the fact that I was nervous, and used humor to put me at ease. That opened the door, but the way that she reacted to what I was telling her really sealed the deal. I could tell that the words I said mattered to her, and she was rooting for me to get to the mental place I wanted to be in. I really didn’t see any of those vibes at all in Kinbott, especially during the first meeting. I think it’s good to note that sometimes therapists have to meet patient’s more than halfway in the beginning, which Kinbott really didn’t do, and made the therapy suffer for it.
Hmmm... What you've said here about matching has me thinking about my limited experience with therapy. My child and myself in maybe 3 appointments with a therapist who left me feeling like he just didn't know what to do with my child. He was fairly quiet the whole time, didn't really get into conversation with either of us, kind of closed off body language. I'm quite sure I was putting off the same vibe, so maybe he was attempting to match with me? I am so uncomfortable with doctors of any kind, especially when I haven't met them before, but I really need the opposite of what I'm putting out at the start to be able to feel comfortable and open up. My regular Dr once apologized for being so chatty, since it often makes her appointments run long, but it's the reason I like her so much and was comfortable going to her for myself after she'd been my children's Dr for several years.
that therapist broke the tentative trust Wednesday had in her. Wednesday was engaged and participating [for Wednesday] she was talking, until the therapist mentioned having read her books which for anyone else is like saying your therapist read your diary now wants to question you on it. it was one thing for the therapist to know she writes books, another thing to have read them and want to psychoanalyse the book.
Therapy should be somewhat patient led where the patient is introducing or opening the door to topics and respecting hard limits patients have- they don't want to discuss a topic, set it aside for the moment and come back to it later. pick at the little things first then dive into the bigger things once patient is more comfortable.
Have you ever thought of becoming a professor at a college or a university? I took Mental Health and Addictions Worker as a 2 year college diploma. I feel like your videos teach me more about approaches to counseling than I learned from any of my professors at the college. The couple of good professors I did have were current therapists. I guess you can only teach what you know.
My first therapist tried to make it seem like everybody was experiencing my problems, and that they weren't as bad as I said they were.
I don't go to her anymore.
mm I'm autistic myself and I see a lot of my own outward emotional flatline times in Wednesday, in addition to just not connecting emotionally out of mental exhaustion, and calling myself literally the 'black sheep' even before I was diagnosed or even considered autism as a diagnosis
Wedneday's detective interests, and fascination with true crime feel very much like autistic special interests too
Man its so sad that it seems i cant find a therapist who is fitting for me. It just feels like everyone of them just wants to medicate me, cutting my words off when i try to go deeper and stuff like that. Its everytime just this feeling they want to hear the top of the iceberg and thats it. I really wish that im able to find somebody who isnt just putting me into another drawer. Or speaks in a way you do. Eveytime i watch ur videos i feel tempted to write down my shit before i remember. No. Stop. That wont help you or replace the help i need. And its just not okay to bother people in the internet. At least in my way of understanding how society works. xD But still..your videos work wonders for my mood sometimes and just listening to you gives me hope, i can find someone, because i can barely imagine that you are the only person who is like..yeah, so open and modern.
Have a good day and even better days comin.
I wish you lived near me. I'm a survivor of CSA and SA. I also spent a few years of my 20s sick then it got worse so over the course of two years I was in and out of the emergency room first it was once or twice a month, then three times then the doctor and nurse talked outside my room about how they believed I was being a pain med seeker, then the after hearing me tell my mom if it was pills I was after I'd have taken all my pills then they could talk about me being an addict. In the end I was sick from my gall bladder being filled with small stones and grit, I was less than a week from my gall bladder bursting. I ended up requiring emergency surgery. I was then diagnosed with chronic pain and fibromyalgia, anxiety, clinical depression with depressive episodes and dealt with suicidal ideation. Due to chronic illness and the chronic pain I was disabled before I turned 30. It was a hard time grieving my old self and facing I'm not a spring chicken sooner than others
While I get what they were going for with Dr. Kinbott's character, if someone, therapist or not acted that way towards me, I'd be like I'm going to disengage and go find someone else to talk to. She started off well enough but I feel like her reading the manuscripts and mentioning that in the 1st session was an invasion of privacy. Now granted being Wednesday's therapist sure that gives Dr. Kinbott insight into Wednesday. I write/journal a lot myself. But if my therapist who I'd never met before started reading out some of my journals or writing and presumed to know me, like I feel Wednesday's therapist does, I would have reacted similarly to Wednesday. There are ways to engage people as far as what do you like to do? What are your hobbies? Without then being like oh so you must feel like this because your characters act this way. I hated this therapist for so many reasons but I get why she was presented that way. The story needed an obvious villan and a lot of times that is the therapist. Worked out well for the show but I would never choose someone like her to be my own therapist.