Yeah I matched a guy on tinder because his introduction was something like I want to have what Morticia and Gomez have. He probably meant wild chemistry because we met exactly once. (we had great conversation and no chemistry). I would have been open to healthy dinamics as well :D
Which is ironic since, as Jono said during the Cinema Therapy episode on Addams Family, they were intended to be the antithesis of the average all-American family, which tells us a lot
@Tilia I guess you could say the wild chemistry is a result of the healthy dynamics, because they both respect each other. And those kind of dynamics take time to build
" I am sorry you didn't feel you couldn't tell me" is, imo, the most powerfull statement. No accusations, no guilt trip, just putting out there how she feels about the choice with no judgement. Not just the words, but the way it is delivered. you can feel the sorrow, but also respect. I like that bit, and when she says that Wednesday has her own path to blase.
@Julie Vallée you *could tell me. (8:36) Try to avoid double negatives unless you double-check them and they're used correctly. ;-) ( Also, i guess you're french? *powerful *blaze )
In fairness, the reason Wednesday didn't have a voice in coming to Nevermore is because she'd been kicked out of several public schools. The impression was her parents were out of options for where to send Wednesday and Nevermore was their last resort. They did try to make the transition easier for her by convincing the school accommodate her tastes in her school uniform. Morticia nailed it when she said Wednesday sometimes gets in her own way, because don't we all have those moments?
I love that Morticia gives her physical distance because Wednesday doesn't like touch, but she still shows love. It shows that even if she's not getting all of the message at the beginning, she's understanding that she needs to give Wednesday more independence and respect, which is a great start. My own mom and I had a similar experience growing up, and we got closer the more she respected my independence and I saw that she could give me guidance. We now have a beautiful relationship, but it started with that initial willingness to trust in each other.
my favorite thing is how Morticia "hugs" Wednesday. She not only understands, but respects that Wednesday doesn't like to be touched. Yet as a mother and an individual with her own personality, Morticia needs and wants to express affection. the way she chooses to hug Wednesday is such a great balance of Morticia honoring her daughter's needs without suppressing her own needs. It also shows the pureness of Morticia's intent: it's not about "well i'm a hugger, and you know i'm doing it out of love so just let me do it". Morticia is ok with choosing a different way, because her daughter receiving the message is more important than Morticia doing it the way she wants.
Even the Addams Family can have their parental issues. Although Morticia is well intentioned, Wednesday still feels chafed by her, which is relatable to anyone with a helicopter parent.
Morticia: I know you aren't me, Wednesday. But that doesn't mean you are any less my daughter, even if we are polar opposites. I love you, and I will always love you. Even if you don't, as you say, "fall in love, be a housewife, or start a family." I love you more than you realize now, and you will always be my daughter, no matter how far you go, no matter how different we are. Me: How I wish my mom felt the same way!
I just love how the Addams Family is this weird and horrifying family. But yet they have the most stable and loving family I've ever seen in shows/movies
I think the scene with the visions has some other elements. Mortica doesn't shame her for not telling her earlier. She apologizes for not making it safe for her to come to her. And then she gives her space to open up, but doesn't force it.
I love the series Wednesday. Having an almost 13-year-old, I truly related to this video. I'm not a helicopter mom, but I have a hard time figuring out how much independence to give my child.
I bet it's a pickle. It's definitely a struggle. Too much freedom or not enough is truly a difficult thing to balance. Especially as the get into their teens & start rebelling & seek independence
I heard something that I found very relieving. "There is a HUGE gap between a bad and a good parent, but just a very snall difference between a good and a great parent." Meaning that you need to make a lot of mistakes to be a bad parent, but in the end outcome the difference between a good and great parent is not that big.
THIS RIGHT HERE is why I'm minimal contact with my father: he's an all-out lecturer. How he thinks the world works is, to him, the only way it works, & any other opinion is worthless to him. He keeps saying stuff like "people don't like..." X thing I've always done, when I'm sure he means HE doesn't like it. People are all different, including me from him, & that seems to be something he can never accept.
My husband passed in a tragic car accident on January 21st that I was the driver. Another car hit us. This was one of our favorite shows to watch together both yours and Wednesday. I haven’t been able to get a grief counselor and joined Mendedlife and saw January is about grief I am so glad I joined.
I am a middle-aged adult who has parents still controlling my life. I moved thousands of miles away and they still try to control my life. I think my parents need to see this video. I know it must be difficult to be a parent, and that is why I chose not to become one. I like Wednesday. She knows who she is and won't let anyone control her.
My problem with the whole premise of"Wednesday"is that THE thing about the Addams Family is that they're dark,spooky and creepy and all about serial killers and always torturing and trying to kill each other,but they are actually a very loving and supporting family...in the 2nd movie Gomez&Morticia let the kids go to camp even if they don't understand the choice because they believe their kids want to and when Pubert gets possessed Morticia changes his whole room and starts to read him"normal"kids stories to adapt to his new tastes,so...WHY THE HELL is the premise of this show that Wednesday thinks her parents want to control her and to make her become a copy of them?This has never been and _should_ never be an Addams issue!!>^
I wish I had a mother like Morticia. She did push a little bit of herself onto Wednesday but then she recognized that she's becoming her own person. I wish my own mother could have recognized that with me
I can't wait for your impressions on Wensday's therapy. Her therapist reminded me of my own horror stories with the worst therapists while I was a teenager.
13:44 I couldn’t agree more with this statement. I parent my siblings learning from my moms mistakes and my grandparents mistakes. I’ve done this more recently with my sister she took my car and had friends in the car when she still can’t do that. Well my mom was mad and got her in trouble. When she got home (she lives with me) I had a conversation with her and told her of something similar that happened with a close friend of mine in which didn’t end well and at the end of the conversation we were both tearing and she was upset she understood the dangers of it and that those rules were there to protect her and her friends.
Even at 28 as a PhD student graduating soon my mom keeps telling me I need a "real job" with a 401k, benefits, and a good salary and not to take a postdoctoral fellowship position because you don't get those things-- the pay is not great and you rely on grants. It does feel like she's trying to control my career decisions. I want to stay in research and academia, not go into industry. I know she means well, I understand the concern, and we love each other but it's hard to have those conversations. I try to very gently tell her she's not going to change my mind but it all just makes me feel more stressed as I'm trying to make the next step in my life. 😮💨 She used to be worse years ago, so I think it's getting slightly better. And she's more than accepting and supportive of my choices when it comes to literally anything else. 😅 I guess we're all just navigating these relationships for our whole lives and doing the best we can.
Dude, I feel you. My mom was pushing me to find a "real job" instead of me going full-time as a writer. I'm working as a freelance writer, doing writing commissions while writing my novel. And she even had our relatives involved, persuading me to try to becoming an international teacher like my cousin. But I stick to writing because it's my passion and it grates my gears whenever she says that it's worthless because I won't earn money with writing. Never mind that I earn money with writing commissions. -_-
Going through a similar thing with my parents and their views on my job path. I understand their concern that it's not "stable" or makes for an easy, navigable path to retirement, but it brings me closer to what I want to do. Best of luck
@@witchqueen1296 I'll be here with you in solidarity. I feel you. That's really wild though. My mom did something along a similar thought process where she applied to my brother's college for me without telling me and then told me going there was the only way she'd pay for my college. Because it worked out well for him so that must be THE ONLY valid option 😮💨😑 stay strong! I believe in you 🤗
@@beast6213 thank you. It's tough-- the concern of a parent is understandable but at some level we have to live our own lives and make our own choices, which we're going to do anyway so it would be a lot easier to have their support than to have to battle them too along the way 😮💨 best of luck to you as well! Sending you lots of positivity along your journey.
The Addams Family, even with their problems, will always be one of the healthiest movie families ever. They learn from, about, and for each other. The biggest thing is parent-to-child respect which is unfortunately only recently becoming more common. In any other relationship, most people would agree respect must be mutual. But somehow before my own adulthood, that was a novel concept in parenting. Parents demanded respect for generations without giving it in return, leading to the common belief that teens are rebellious and need to be leashed and forced to do anything. I'm looking forward to seeing how respectful parenting turns out in the next couple decades. I foresee many kinder and stronger young people with boundaries, healthy respect for themselves, and happier starts.
Jono, "don't touch me" is also the opposite of what my grown-ass adult self would say about Catherine Zeta-Jones. I first watched Mask of Zorro as a teenager, and she was definitely one of my first female crushes at a time before I'd fully recognised my bisexuality for what it was.
Hey, I'm ace and even I have more or less that "oh wow" reaction to her... and to Antonio Banderas! 😆 I think the Mask of Zorro hardwired a whole generation of teens, of whatever orientation. 😂
I don't have contact with my mom anymore (5 years and going) but I'm still watching this video right after seeing the notification. Why, you ask ? Because I'm beyond interested by every video that Mended Light is posting. It just blew my mind every time how insightful it is, so thank you !
The part you said about parents trusting their adult children to make decisions and that they did the best they could in raising the kid, resonated with me. I used to work at a university. My advice to parents was to trust that they did a good job as a parent. That they raised their child to make good decisions, but to make themselves available if their kid got themselves into troubles. My advice to students was to ask for help when they needed it. Whether that was calling home for advice, going to the tutoring center, or talking to the librarians about research skills, asking for help is a smart and grownup decision.
I'm 23 and my mom usually doesnt meet me in the middle like this. It's hard bc i try not to be a rebel (in the sense that i don't want to make terrible mistakes out of rebelión or anger), but i have learned to speak up. It took me 20 years tho, and it feels like wasted time and like it barely works, bc it's still a scene when i say "no" or stablish limits. On top of that, in my country, economics are fd up, so there is nowhere for me to go rn. I would love to get my own place and have to resolve my own problems. But for as long as my mom does everything for me before i even reach the sink to wash the dishes, i will never be free. I DONT KNOW HOW TO USE THE WASHING MACHINE FOR GODs SAKE (friends have taught me but i forguet). She is so overprotective, but if i do something wrong she dices it instead of guiding me or giving me oportunities to change. I want independance, all of it. The bills, the doctor appointments. I just want to be 23 instead of 13 in her eyes.
I’m seeing everything said here in the tension between my aunt and cousin and it’s terrible 😢 because I know she will never let her son be his own person and it’s tearing them apart
I went off to study at a university that I did not want to attend because of my parents. Never before had my parents tried to dictate my life in a way I did not also more or less agree with (I was the rare sensible child) so when that happened I was shocked. I became even more so when they would not listen to my objections, and my mother became annoyed at my irritability regarding their decision. I still went along with it, figuring I could endure it, and I had not planned for an eventuality where I would have to pay for my own tuition. Eventually however, over a year in, I could not take it anymore. It wasn't planned, I just blurted it out over the phone that I couldn't do it anymore. My mother would not have it, and I figured 'well, I tried, looks like I'll have to shut up and somehow make it through this all...'. The next day, my mother called again, and inquired what the matter was, and I denied any objections to my situation. Still, she persisted and got the story out of me. Afterwards, my father called, and acknowledged that it was me that would have to live with this for the rest of my life. So I should choose a path, where I avoided waking up in the morning and dreading the day ahead of me. That hit home. It was exactly what had been happening, and my mood had been consistently low. It's been years since that day. I've changed directions and am doing something I enjoy, and while some days the work is hard, there's no longer the morning dread. I'm proud of what I've accomplished. My family and I have talked about my first failed attempt at a degree several times, and I guess the moral of the story is: listen to what your child has to say about their future (degree/career). Especially if they're the sensible sort. They're going to have to deal with the consequences, and forcing them into a future they know they don't want is unlikely to end well. Also, a false start is not the end of the world. It's a failure you can grow from.
Obviously no relationship is perfect, but I'm really close to my mom and always have been. Just like you said, mutual respect and acceptance is what it takes to achieve that. I'm autistic, and I'm pretty certain my mom is too but I couldn't say about my grandparents. So my mom put a lot of energy and focus into providing me with the kind of support and understanding that her parents didn't give her. I've always been a really curious person, and I remember even as a really young kid asking my mom complicated questions about how the world works. She always answered me in detail and with the kind of seriousness that she'd talk with another adult with. She'd keep things appropriate for my age and maturity level, of course, but if I asked about death, she'd talk about how the heart keeps us alive and we need oxygen to reach our brain, as an example. She didn't just brush it off by using kiddie metaphors like saying a pet ran away. That really made a difference-- kids can tell when they're being lied to, or they're being underestimated. You also know, as a little kid, that if you get angry about not being taken seriously, that'll just solidify it in the adult's mind that you're immature. So it feels pointless to try, and kids end up not opening up or asking questions when they really do need to to be understood, or to understand the world. Like, we need to teach our kids about history in order for them to be kind and humane, right? How can we expect our kids to process information about slavery or genocide in school, if at home they don't feel like they can ask about how their body works? That ended up getting long, but I wanted to express that my mom did (& still does) her best to strike the right balance of support/love and acceptance/independence. I know it's not easy to be a mom (in any sense) and I'm really lucky to have a friend in my mom.
My favorite thing about my relatinship with my mom is that we often ask each other for advice, usually precedented by the (spoken or unspoken) sentence "i might not do what you say, but i want your opinion." I'm 41 now... we have both kept each other from small or big mistakes and we have a lot of love and respect.
I love that you decided to therapize Wednesday. It totally needs to be explained through the lense of a therapist. Also, thank you for all of your wholesome content.
At some point in every child's life, there is a point where they stop seeing their parents as untouchable perfect beings, and start seeing them as human beings. For some, this means that they grow a closer relationship with their parent(s) and become more like friends. For others, this means that they see the horrible monsters that their parent(s) actually are.
My "favorite" teenage fight I had with my mom was over a boy (of course 🙄). She was trying to tell me I was making mistakes and why couldn't I just learn from her mistakes. I told her that I had to make my own mistakes, and if I had children I wouldn't be able to do what she was trying to do in that moment and I wouldn't really learn it. She stopped and thought a moment, then left. She was right of course, and I think I even knew it then just didn't want to admit it. As hard as it is, sometimes we just have to give the information and let them do with it what they will and be there for them no matter the outcome.
Sounds like you were both right tbh, she was right in wanting to protect you by admitting her own mistakes and you were right by saying you needed to make your own. I am a parent and still figuring out where I protect my kid and where to let him make his own mistakes and figure it out for himself.
I feel like I have a double life from my parents. I have to try to convince myself that healthy decisions awhile learning to live on my own is ok. Especially since if I want to live on my own and away from my parents. There's a certain lifestyle they want me to do but I want to do the exact opposite. I want to travel; see the world and act for the world. But hence the fact that we're a Christian family they don't believe that I could.
I can't really connect with this series; I'm stuck on the old Addams Family movies, with the Gomez and Morticia who supported their kids' desire to go to summer camp, even if they didn't understand it. Who read Dr Seuss to their blonde, curly-haired normie kid, even when it brought them pain, because it made him smile. Especially the line where Wednesday announces that she'll never be a housewife, get married, have a family... the whole point of the Addams Family is that they defy expectations and social norms. Wednesday's declaration shouldn't be hurtful. The series just feels like an OOC wattpad fanfic to me.
Wednesday is a delightful show!! Looking forward to this series. Mother daughter plots in shows hit me differently since my own mom passed. The issues you raised around guiding and listening to your kids rather than lecturing them are so important. My parents never really acknowledged mistakes or failings and liked to tell me how I felt and what I needed a lot, the few times they were vulnerable, it was putting us in a position where we had to care for/parent them emotionally. This made me resentful, defiant, and unable to trust them as a teenager. I’m past being angry about it at this point because now I understand more about their lives, and my dad has basically acknowledged that he’d handle things very differently now. The “parents want what’s best for you”line thrown at young people still rankles me. Of course, generally, your parents want what is best for you, but they don’t always *know* what’s best for you.
Break given. I was 21 when Mask of Zorro came out and well, Antonio Banderas... *cough* Catherine Zeta-Jones is amazing though. Stunning and amazing. The late 90s had some awesome movies and actresses (Mask of Zorro, the Mummy, Titanic).
Wednesday was at Nevermore cause she needs to be in school and she has been expelled from most schools so they think it will be better for them. I would never say Morticia and Gomez are helicopter parents. They just want her to go to school and are hoping that Nevermore will be more understanding to her quirks
I can relate to this dynamic with my mom a lot, but unlike Wednesday I lack the autonomy and sense of self to truly see what I authentically want and desire for myself. Loved to see these two though. I’ve always cursed myself for not being a dove like my mom, and being much darker. But looking at Wednesday with her mom here I could see for once how beautiful that actually is. Cheers ❤
My Mother always wanted me to quit smoking growing up and well into my 20s. It was only when she stop telling me to quite and let me make the choice I did 33 now and 3 years of no smoking sure I have stumbles but always stop myself because I don't want to smoke.
I loved the way they made the Addamses more normal by giving them an evolution of family tensions. I'm hoping they bring some of those minor characters back, like Festers ex-wife. She'd make a great Instagram Karen villan to explore a whole host of issues!
I know this is a mostly video focused channel, but if at some time you get the chance to analyze kids from literature, it would be great to get your thoughts on the "Harry Potter" character from "Harry Potter and the Method of Rationality"(HPMOR) by Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Trying to shelter kids just makes them feel scared, because they think you don't know about the dark side of the world, and they don't know where to turn. I remember, as a teenager, saying something to my Grandmother about how annoying I found foul language among my classmates and she asked, "Do you mean words like poop?" and I thought, "man, this woman has no idea what the real world's like!" So when my brother got on drugs and made my life a living hell I couldn't turn to her, because I didn't believe she'd know what to do--she never talked about drugs, so I assumed she was completely ignorant about them.
A little sad that you didn't made a video the relationship between Weems and Wednesday because that's really interesting to see the challenges between them. The dynamics are perfectly and perfectly played. I like your videos. Thank you
Specific context here. So I am a transgender person (I don't feel connected to my gender assigned at birth). I told my mother, and she didn't have a violent reaction, but it was painful for me. She don't recognize that I don't feel like a woman at all and I had been through a tough time mentally because she made me feel controlled and not valid to manifest a transgender identity. I really felt your words when you said that children/teenagers need more guidance than control (or guidance over control). I allow room for myself to search what my issues are with my identity and tell myself to not get stuck into my own mind by thinking that transitioning is the only way for me to be happy (and I don't want to invalidate other's experience by saying that because it's only my experience and you don't have to relate if you don't feel like it). I also try to be patient with my mother, because even tho I think that sometimes she is misgendering me intentionally, I remind myself that it's a long process sometimes to allow change to happen. I know she loves me, and I love her too, but I don't want her to deny the fact that I'm not a girl for eternity, if I'm sure in the future that I really am transgender and that I truly want to transition...thank you for doing this video, I really needed this :)
I like watching these even if they don’t relate. My issue with my mum is probably emotional neglect. Listen great mum. Read with me every night. Provided what I needed with what little we had. But I have never really learned how to process my emotions. I was always told to stop being a cry baby or drama queen and just made me try and shut the feeling off. But feels of anger or frustration are harder for me to process and I just cry at any emotion. I let myself cry now because that’s all I can do. But I also hold back so much emotion all the time I get like random spells where I’m just crying for no reason. And like it’s probably slight depression. At least if I went to my GP that’s what he’d say even though he isn’t a psychologist.
This is a belated response but this is very similar to my own experience so I wanted to respond. My mum was truly incredible, and she'd often also let me and my siblings feel our feelings and give us space to be alone if we needed to be alone with them and stuff, but our family history still meant that we often struggled with expressing emotion. I particularly struggle with anger and cry really easily at everything. It's definitely better to just let yourself cry than bottling it up! I also really want to encourage you to look into therapy if it's possible, because it helped me understand and manage my emotions so much better.
Helicopter parenting can create rebels but also anxious indecisive adults like me. I never know what to do until I get a nod of approval from my mom, and then what it seemed too crazy and dangerous a minute ago now seems exciting and mama approved. I’m 23, and honestly I’m scared of the day when I move from home and have to make my own daily decisions, cause at this rate I’ll have a panic attack before doing everything
This is my favorite series of the Adam's. I loved the 1960s series and adored their attitudes against the world. I flip flop between I don't care what anyone else thinks and wanting everyone's approval. I really enjoyed your video. Looking forward to more. ❤️❤️
Sliding 10 bucks to production, hoping the next tv show explored to be The Last of Us. As for Wednesday, easily my favorite episode of the show was episode 5 where the Addams are the center of attention and where they mend their relationship (more or less) and where Wednesday and Morticia finally have a heart to heart, where obviously Wednesday is more available to her mother (and vice versa). They feel on the same ground in this episode, which is something I really liked about how their relationship seemed to have matured. Maybe because of distance? Maybe because Morticia finally saw Wednesday as an adult (or soon to be), and someone she could "trust" to be vulnerable around? Idk how to say it, but Morticia opened up about really dark secrets of her past. With her daughter. Really few parents do that (or at least, not without weighing too much guilt or emotion on their kid: here it was about Morticia trusting Wednesday, and not Morticia relying on Wednesday as an emotional support), and that's where I feel like balance and understanding came from because I feel like that's when Morticia saw Wednesday for who she was and who she wanted to become. They became separate entities from this episode forward, as seen obviously also in the writing, when people finally stopped saying Wednesday "oh your mother used to do that" "oh your mother loved that!" every time she was going around some hallway lol.
Hi, i think you could therapize Georgia from Ginny and Georgia, she is mother who has pretty insane past. Also I think that relationship of Ginny and Marcus would be good for Therapized video.
WOW! It got released some minutes ago and youtube popped it up in my home page, and from a case i was truly waiting for! Since i saw the wednesday series i actually got irritated from this version of morticia, and i was always cringed by her and her interactions (or wednesday's interactions) with the other members of the family. Every scene between them was so uncomfortable... even for the addams' vibes TnT. All i could think was: "I want my girl back 😥"
In short I had a dysfunctional family. Rather than be annoyed, I am more scared and uncomfortable whenever my mother tries to bond with me. Then she would get mad, yell at me for not loving her, then progressively get more and more aggressive at me for remaining silent and not showing any affection. Sometimes I feel like there is nothing inside me. No happiness, no sadness, and no love. No love for myself, and no love for her either.
I thought it was interesting that there was no link made between Morticia forcing her to go to Nevermore and being very diligent on her staying there, and the fact that Wednesday displayed really dangerous behavior at her other school. Seems like Morticia's/the family's hand was a bit forced into trying Nevermore, no? Sure Wednesday didn't like it, and M and G could have been more gracious about Wednesday having her own experience there. But sometimes we have to get more rigid when the kid shows they can't handle the amount of responsibility they've been given... right? And what about kids who don't really listen to 'guidance'? Even with a 'good enough' relationship with the parent? Still lots of questions after this vid for me. Keep 'em coming.
I love your guys videos so much, they're really insightful and interesting. I would love for you to do a video on either the sibling relationships in gravity falls or a video on cloudy with a chance of meatballs
@@MendedLight Also; I'm sorry to hear about Catherine's passing. That must've been hard; for a lot of you and not just Johnathon from Mended Light/ Cinema Therapy. My condolences.
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This was amazing. The series was amazing, this video and relationship analysis about it was amazing. It gets me every time, how the Adams family are an epitome of "divergence" and here they are, being the one rare case across the series AND so many other shows and movies, modelling actually healthy family dynamics! This is so similar to my own life experience, with the part of "being in a place of deep understanding what healthy dynamics between people look like, especially with neurodivergence in the picture" but then finding myself quite alone with that, in my surroundings. Needing to look for such modelling or modelling by mental health professionals who live at the other side of the world, like you! Just so I could confirm that I'm not the only one perceiving these things. And that somewhere out there, people actually manage to live out these principles in real life family dynamics. I keep wondering more and more if it's not possibly indeed a super skill that is linked with the neurodivergent spectrum itself, giving us (and ppl working with us) a higher probability to reach those conclusions. Like one of the possible natural consequences to living under "special" = "misfit" (in the most neutral, "not normative" sense) conditions. Somehow the people I've spotted so far, were either neurodivergent, too, or psychologists/psychiatrists of the very open and attentive type, who'd naturally end up working with many of us. Interesting. That just occurred to me. Thank you, Jonathan!
Please do the Ginny and Georgia show 🙏 there is the same issue with them but much stronger. Mother/daughter broken relationship + friend instead of a mother. It’s really interesting!!
One of the things that I didn't like about this series was that it felt very confused about where the line was between bad = good and bad = bad Like one of the obvious examples is in the first episode whenever Wednesday or Gomez talk about murder and it is conveyed as a good thing to do as long as you don't get caught… and then later in the series she's like horrified at the idea of Gomez being a murderer? Despite the fact that in the first episode he was bragging about being a murderer? That same thing made it really confusing for me to try and keep up with the family drama - why are you mad at Morticia for saying mean things when you guys all seem to take mean things as a compliment???
right??? plus i find it hard to believe morticia would push anything onto her children at all. wednesday absolutely adored her mother growing up and would dress like her including her red nail polish because she loved her so much
I had no problems getting along with my mom, but my dad and I had nothing in common. He was violent and prioritized all other matters above family. He hid cameras and microphones in kids' toilets. He broke every rule he could get away with, and he rebelled against any semblance of decent manners and civilized culture. In my late 30s, I took a DNA test that revealed that he was not my biological father despite my mother's insistence that there was no other man. I don't logically think it should matter where one's genes came from, but I won't lie, I was pleased to make that discovery. Both my parents insisted that the DNA test was wrong for the rest of their lives, but I remained best friends with my mom while my dad kept trying to drive me to an early grave. I think what made me such good friends with my mom is that she valued being civilized and cultured and educated, which I also value greatly. She also recognized my hard work and study when I went to university and learned new things, and she trusted me to not mislead her or abuse her trust. I worked hard to be decent, considerate, and academically accomplished, and she saw the amount of effort I put into it and how important it was to me, and she supported it and nurtured it, and I'm forever grateful for that. My dad said people who study go to hell because knowledge is Satan's way of deceiving you. I have no idea what my parents saw in each other.
My mom was usually the most stable and unselfish parent. Even as a 34 year old woman it has been difficult to navigate the relationship with my dad who is much more needy and dependent.
will you ever make a video about Agents of Shield? Maybe about Daisy who is struggling with depression in season 4, or couples therapy for Fitz and Simons
The mistakes is what will give the children their wisdom - wisdom is not knowledge - it is experience. Parents are not perfect - so that is what the rebellion teen sees - the parents have fallen of their pedestals. Parents lied to them, tricked them, manipulated them, and they more often then not are a non-perfect human being. But you have to do as they say and do, follow their example... how is this rational or logical. This is what the teens rebel against, and then fall into the trap themselves once they become the parents, and the cycle of the splinter and the beam hits repeat. We deal with things the way we were taught, our experiences, etc. transcending these generational traumas are not easy and take work, and if the work is being done it is the third generation that will reap the actual benefits from this. That is how this works, but as how little have noticed the bigger pictures. "As life changing as I did." Right now this still refers to the cover up of murder/man slaughter. Morbid things the witch mother wishes on her daughter. But we take it in with our bias and context; College type situation = life changing growth. Or boarding schools for many were a trauma trap of abuses. Or the exit route for a abusive family structure, often to safe face by that family structure. Parents having a vision for the future of their children, if not careful are living intertwined or vicariously. "A symbol of our connection" mostly referring still to the M W symbolism, but also foreshadowing the visions aspect of the Addams, the dove vs the raven. Morticia v Wednesday. Which is a little weird, since Goodie Adams was an Addams, Gomez Addams is the Adams family line - unless... the Addams Pedigree is inbred why Morticia Addams is an Addams bloodline, and not just through marriage from the outside. Our is our cellphone with crystal screens our crystal ball? Like how our space rockets are "the train" of Jules Verne in From the earth to the moon. Science has roots in things like alchemy and other things... evolution of knowledge, understanding and lets hope some wisdom.
I was four years old when the mask of zorro came out and CZJ has been my crush since. We’re on the same boat my dear Jonathan ! Ps… my boyfriend’s name is also Jonathan !
Can you react to the love triangle in Taylor Swift’s album Folklore? It’s between the songs Cardigan, August, and Betty. I am obsessed with the dynamic she created through music!
Joooooooonnnnnnn and everybody on the internet 🥰 you gotta watch Shrinking 😍 It would be so awsome if you would at some point react to it. I think the humor and the storylines would be right up your alley. Much love from Europe! I appreciate your work a lot!
If the Zorro holders had been smart with the producers of Queen Of Swords, they could have done what Marvel did with the movies and television tie ins, the Marvel cinematic universe thing. Could easily have had CZJ and Tessie Santiago characters be (separated by distance) cousins, their papas being brothers. Also curious how two (HAWT) Joneses have played Morticia.
I feel like the writers missed a trick when they omitted an appropriate response for Wednesday to the line, “Without the proper training, they can lead to madness.” We all know Wednesday should’ve said, “One can only hope.”
I enjoyed the hell out of this show, but one issue I have with it is that it doesn’t explain the tension between them other than “teenager rebels against parent because…teenager”. There’s always a reason why tension between humans exists, and I would have preferred to be shown why Wednesday has issues with her mother. But other than that, solid show and this was informative :)
I think it’s because Wednesday doesn’t want to fall into the same way of life her mother has. (Mom, housewife) Wednesday wants to be an independent writer and a lone wolf. She’s also a teenager so that adds to the tension on top of it lol
@@tyer1997 Sure, but that needs to be shown. The show literally started off with mother/daughter tension without showing us why. Or even a good explanation. It already broke the “show, don’t tell” rule of storytelling, but it barely explained anything in the first place.
Please do Connor from Angel. To this day people talk about him as a whiny, attitude teen. I have to admit I was to young too appreciate the character on first watch. As I got older and learned more about domestic abuse, gaslighting and coercive control. I felt so bad for the character and the hostage scene is just all the terrible things coming to a climax.
I am interested in opinions on the Addams Family overall. Is their Gothiness a physical/neurodivergent difference between them and boring humans? Or is it a bonding exercise within the family, uniting the family via differences from outside society?
Anyone else here agree that the Addams family is one of the most surprisingly functional and wholesome families?
I do!
Yeah I matched a guy on tinder because his introduction was something like I want to have what Morticia and Gomez have. He probably meant wild chemistry because we met exactly once. (we had great conversation and no chemistry). I would have been open to healthy dinamics as well :D
Which is ironic since, as Jono said during the Cinema Therapy episode on Addams Family, they were intended to be the antithesis of the average all-American family, which tells us a lot
@Tilia I guess you could say the wild chemistry is a result of the healthy dynamics, because they both respect each other. And those kind of dynamics take time to build
Yes, it's why I don't like this show. Gomez and Mortisa don't seems to be in love and they ate not supporting there children.
" I am sorry you didn't feel you couldn't tell me" is, imo, the most powerfull statement. No accusations, no guilt trip, just putting out there how she feels about the choice with no judgement. Not just the words, but the way it is delivered. you can feel the sorrow, but also respect. I like that bit, and when she says that Wednesday has her own path to blase.
I love that too. So often it’s “why didn’t you tell me?” Which is combative, even if you don’t mean it to be.
@Julie Vallée you *could tell me. (8:36) Try to avoid double negatives unless you double-check them and they're used correctly. ;-)
( Also, i guess you're french? *powerful *blaze )
In fairness, the reason Wednesday didn't have a voice in coming to Nevermore is because she'd been kicked out of several public schools. The impression was her parents were out of options for where to send Wednesday and Nevermore was their last resort. They did try to make the transition easier for her by convincing the school accommodate her tastes in her school uniform. Morticia nailed it when she said Wednesday sometimes gets in her own way, because don't we all have those moments?
It’s a bit of a plot hole as to why Nevermore was a last resort considering Morticia and Gomez are supposed to both have loved it there.
I love that Morticia gives her physical distance because Wednesday doesn't like touch, but she still shows love. It shows that even if she's not getting all of the message at the beginning, she's understanding that she needs to give Wednesday more independence and respect, which is a great start. My own mom and I had a similar experience growing up, and we got closer the more she respected my independence and I saw that she could give me guidance. We now have a beautiful relationship, but it started with that initial willingness to trust in each other.
my favorite thing is how Morticia "hugs" Wednesday. She not only understands, but respects that Wednesday doesn't like to be touched. Yet as a mother and an individual with her own personality, Morticia needs and wants to express affection. the way she chooses to hug Wednesday is such a great balance of Morticia honoring her daughter's needs without suppressing her own needs.
It also shows the pureness of Morticia's intent: it's not about "well i'm a hugger, and you know i'm doing it out of love so just let me do it". Morticia is ok with choosing a different way, because her daughter receiving the message is more important than Morticia doing it the way she wants.
I so agree! This struck me hard. I so wish that others would do this for me.
Even the Addams Family can have their parental issues. Although Morticia is well intentioned, Wednesday still feels chafed by her, which is relatable to anyone with a helicopter parent.
Amen!
Morticia: I know you aren't me, Wednesday. But that doesn't mean you are any less my daughter, even if we are polar opposites. I love you, and I will always love you. Even if you don't, as you say, "fall in love, be a housewife, or start a family." I love you more than you realize now, and you will always be my daughter, no matter how far you go, no matter how different we are.
Me: How I wish my mom felt the same way!
I just love how the Addams Family is this weird and horrifying family. But yet they have the most stable and loving family I've ever seen in shows/movies
I think the scene with the visions has some other elements. Mortica doesn't shame her for not telling her earlier. She apologizes for not making it safe for her to come to her. And then she gives her space to open up, but doesn't force it.
I love the series Wednesday. Having an almost 13-year-old, I truly related to this video. I'm not a helicopter mom, but I have a hard time figuring out how much independence to give my child.
It's definitely an eternal struggle, lol.
I bet it's a pickle.
It's definitely a struggle.
Too much freedom or not enough is truly a difficult thing to balance. Especially as the get into their teens & start rebelling & seek independence
You're doing a good job❤ it definitely isn't the easiest with my mom sometimes, but I'm sure you'll find what works for you and your kid.
I heard something that I found very relieving.
"There is a HUGE gap between a bad and a good parent, but just a very snall difference between a good and a great parent."
Meaning that you need to make a lot of mistakes to be a bad parent, but in the end outcome the difference between a good and great parent is not that big.
THIS RIGHT HERE is why I'm minimal contact with my father: he's an all-out lecturer. How he thinks the world works is, to him, the only way it works, & any other opinion is worthless to him. He keeps saying stuff like "people don't like..." X thing I've always done, when I'm sure he means HE doesn't like it. People are all different, including me from him, & that seems to be something he can never accept.
Mine is same😭
My maternal grandfather was like this.
My husband passed in a tragic car accident on January 21st that I was the driver. Another car hit us. This was one of our favorite shows to watch together both yours and Wednesday. I haven’t been able to get a grief counselor and joined Mendedlife and saw January is about grief I am so glad I joined.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found a touchstone to your loved one _and_ the support and community you're seeking. ❤️🫂
I am a middle-aged adult who has parents still controlling my life. I moved thousands of miles away and they still try to control my life. I think my parents need to see this video. I know it must be difficult to be a parent, and that is why I chose not to become one. I like Wednesday. She knows who she is and won't let anyone control her.
1800 miles was enough separation for me to escape. I've been there too.
My problem with the whole premise of"Wednesday"is that THE thing about the Addams Family is that they're dark,spooky and creepy and all about serial killers and always torturing and trying to kill each other,but they are actually a very loving and supporting family...in the 2nd movie Gomez&Morticia let the kids go to camp even if they don't understand the choice because they believe their kids want to and when Pubert gets possessed Morticia changes his whole room and starts to read him"normal"kids stories to adapt to his new tastes,so...WHY THE HELL is the premise of this show that Wednesday thinks her parents want to control her and to make her become a copy of them?This has never been and _should_ never be an Addams issue!!>^
EXACTLY
I wish I had a mother like Morticia. She did push a little bit of herself onto Wednesday but then she recognized that she's becoming her own person. I wish my own mother could have recognized that with me
I can't wait for your impressions on Wensday's therapy. Her therapist reminded me of my own horror stories with the worst therapists while I was a teenager.
13:44 I couldn’t agree more with this statement. I parent my siblings learning from my moms mistakes and my grandparents mistakes. I’ve done this more recently with my sister she took my car and had friends in the car when she still can’t do that. Well my mom was mad and got her in trouble. When she got home (she lives with me) I had a conversation with her and told her of something similar that happened with a close friend of mine in which didn’t end well and at the end of the conversation we were both tearing and she was upset she understood the dangers of it and that those rules were there to protect her and her friends.
Even at 28 as a PhD student graduating soon my mom keeps telling me I need a "real job" with a 401k, benefits, and a good salary and not to take a postdoctoral fellowship position because you don't get those things-- the pay is not great and you rely on grants. It does feel like she's trying to control my career decisions. I want to stay in research and academia, not go into industry. I know she means well, I understand the concern, and we love each other but it's hard to have those conversations. I try to very gently tell her she's not going to change my mind but it all just makes me feel more stressed as I'm trying to make the next step in my life. 😮💨 She used to be worse years ago, so I think it's getting slightly better. And she's more than accepting and supportive of my choices when it comes to literally anything else. 😅 I guess we're all just navigating these relationships for our whole lives and doing the best we can.
Dude, I feel you. My mom was pushing me to find a "real job" instead of me going full-time as a writer. I'm working as a freelance writer, doing writing commissions while writing my novel. And she even had our relatives involved, persuading me to try to becoming an international teacher like my cousin. But I stick to writing because it's my passion and it grates my gears whenever she says that it's worthless because I won't earn money with writing. Never mind that I earn money with writing commissions. -_-
Going through a similar thing with my parents and their views on my job path. I understand their concern that it's not "stable" or makes for an easy, navigable path to retirement, but it brings me closer to what I want to do. Best of luck
@@witchqueen1296 I'll be here with you in solidarity. I feel you. That's really wild though. My mom did something along a similar thought process where she applied to my brother's college for me without telling me and then told me going there was the only way she'd pay for my college. Because it worked out well for him so that must be THE ONLY valid option 😮💨😑 stay strong! I believe in you 🤗
@@beast6213 thank you. It's tough-- the concern of a parent is understandable but at some level we have to live our own lives and make our own choices, which we're going to do anyway so it would be a lot easier to have their support than to have to battle them too along the way 😮💨 best of luck to you as well! Sending you lots of positivity along your journey.
@@ericaavery9382 agreed. and thank you, same to you 🤗
The Addams Family, even with their problems, will always be one of the healthiest movie families ever. They learn from, about, and for each other. The biggest thing is parent-to-child respect which is unfortunately only recently becoming more common. In any other relationship, most people would agree respect must be mutual. But somehow before my own adulthood, that was a novel concept in parenting. Parents demanded respect for generations without giving it in return, leading to the common belief that teens are rebellious and need to be leashed and forced to do anything. I'm looking forward to seeing how respectful parenting turns out in the next couple decades. I foresee many kinder and stronger young people with boundaries, healthy respect for themselves, and happier starts.
Jono, "don't touch me" is also the opposite of what my grown-ass adult self would say about Catherine Zeta-Jones. I first watched Mask of Zorro as a teenager, and she was definitely one of my first female crushes at a time before I'd fully recognised my bisexuality for what it was.
Hey, I'm ace and even I have more or less that "oh wow" reaction to her... and to Antonio Banderas! 😆 I think the Mask of Zorro hardwired a whole generation of teens, of whatever orientation. 😂
I don't have contact with my mom anymore (5 years and going) but I'm still watching this video right after seeing the notification. Why, you ask ? Because I'm beyond interested by every video that Mended Light is posting. It just blew my mind every time how insightful it is, so thank you !
The part you said about parents trusting their adult children to make decisions and that they did the best they could in raising the kid, resonated with me.
I used to work at a university. My advice to parents was to trust that they did a good job as a parent. That they raised their child to make good decisions, but to make themselves available if their kid got themselves into troubles.
My advice to students was to ask for help when they needed it. Whether that was calling home for advice, going to the tutoring center, or talking to the librarians about research skills, asking for help is a smart and grownup decision.
I'm 23 and my mom usually doesnt meet me in the middle like this. It's hard bc i try not to be a rebel (in the sense that i don't want to make terrible mistakes out of rebelión or anger), but i have learned to speak up.
It took me 20 years tho, and it feels like wasted time and like it barely works, bc it's still a scene when i say "no" or stablish limits.
On top of that, in my country, economics are fd up, so there is nowhere for me to go rn. I would love to get my own place and have to resolve my own problems. But for as long as my mom does everything for me before i even reach the sink to wash the dishes, i will never be free. I DONT KNOW HOW TO USE THE WASHING MACHINE FOR GODs SAKE (friends have taught me but i forguet).
She is so overprotective, but if i do something wrong she dices it instead of guiding me or giving me oportunities to change.
I want independance, all of it. The bills, the doctor appointments. I just want to be 23 instead of 13 in her eyes.
I’m seeing everything said here in the tension between my aunt and cousin and it’s terrible 😢 because I know she will never let her son be his own person and it’s tearing them apart
I went off to study at a university that I did not want to attend because of my parents. Never before had my parents tried to dictate my life in a way I did not also more or less agree with (I was the rare sensible child) so when that happened I was shocked. I became even more so when they would not listen to my objections, and my mother became annoyed at my irritability regarding their decision. I still went along with it, figuring I could endure it, and I had not planned for an eventuality where I would have to pay for my own tuition. Eventually however, over a year in, I could not take it anymore.
It wasn't planned, I just blurted it out over the phone that I couldn't do it anymore. My mother would not have it, and I figured 'well, I tried, looks like I'll have to shut up and somehow make it through this all...'. The next day, my mother called again, and inquired what the matter was, and I denied any objections to my situation. Still, she persisted and got the story out of me. Afterwards, my father called, and acknowledged that it was me that would have to live with this for the rest of my life. So I should choose a path, where I avoided waking up in the morning and dreading the day ahead of me. That hit home. It was exactly what had been happening, and my mood had been consistently low.
It's been years since that day. I've changed directions and am doing something I enjoy, and while some days the work is hard, there's no longer the morning dread. I'm proud of what I've accomplished. My family and I have talked about my first failed attempt at a degree several times, and I guess the moral of the story is: listen to what your child has to say about their future (degree/career). Especially if they're the sensible sort. They're going to have to deal with the consequences, and forcing them into a future they know they don't want is unlikely to end well. Also, a false start is not the end of the world. It's a failure you can grow from.
The comment about it being Cathrine Zeta Jones was adorable lol
Obviously no relationship is perfect, but I'm really close to my mom and always have been. Just like you said, mutual respect and acceptance is what it takes to achieve that. I'm autistic, and I'm pretty certain my mom is too but I couldn't say about my grandparents. So my mom put a lot of energy and focus into providing me with the kind of support and understanding that her parents didn't give her. I've always been a really curious person, and I remember even as a really young kid asking my mom complicated questions about how the world works. She always answered me in detail and with the kind of seriousness that she'd talk with another adult with. She'd keep things appropriate for my age and maturity level, of course, but if I asked about death, she'd talk about how the heart keeps us alive and we need oxygen to reach our brain, as an example. She didn't just brush it off by using kiddie metaphors like saying a pet ran away. That really made a difference-- kids can tell when they're being lied to, or they're being underestimated. You also know, as a little kid, that if you get angry about not being taken seriously, that'll just solidify it in the adult's mind that you're immature. So it feels pointless to try, and kids end up not opening up or asking questions when they really do need to to be understood, or to understand the world. Like, we need to teach our kids about history in order for them to be kind and humane, right? How can we expect our kids to process information about slavery or genocide in school, if at home they don't feel like they can ask about how their body works?
That ended up getting long, but I wanted to express that my mom did (& still does) her best to strike the right balance of support/love and acceptance/independence. I know it's not easy to be a mom (in any sense) and I'm really lucky to have a friend in my mom.
My favorite thing about my relatinship with my mom is that we often ask each other for advice, usually precedented by the (spoken or unspoken) sentence "i might not do what you say, but i want your opinion." I'm 41 now... we have both kept each other from small or big mistakes and we have a lot of love and respect.
I love that you decided to therapize Wednesday. It totally needs to be explained through the lense of a therapist. Also, thank you for all of your wholesome content.
At some point in every child's life, there is a point where they stop seeing their parents as untouchable perfect beings, and start seeing them as human beings. For some, this means that they grow a closer relationship with their parent(s) and become more like friends. For others, this means that they see the horrible monsters that their parent(s) actually are.
My "favorite" teenage fight I had with my mom was over a boy (of course 🙄). She was trying to tell me I was making mistakes and why couldn't I just learn from her mistakes. I told her that I had to make my own mistakes, and if I had children I wouldn't be able to do what she was trying to do in that moment and I wouldn't really learn it. She stopped and thought a moment, then left. She was right of course, and I think I even knew it then just didn't want to admit it. As hard as it is, sometimes we just have to give the information and let them do with it what they will and be there for them no matter the outcome.
Sounds like you were both right tbh, she was right in wanting to protect you by admitting her own mistakes and you were right by saying you needed to make your own. I am a parent and still figuring out where I protect my kid and where to let him make his own mistakes and figure it out for himself.
It’s something I have to tell myself everyday that it’s ok to want my own life and to live on my own
I feel like I have a double life from my parents. I have to try to convince myself that healthy decisions awhile learning to live on my own is ok. Especially since if I want to live on my own and away from my parents. There's a certain lifestyle they want me to do but I want to do the exact opposite. I want to travel; see the world and act for the world. But hence the fact that we're a Christian family they don't believe that I could.
I can't really connect with this series; I'm stuck on the old Addams Family movies, with the Gomez and Morticia who supported their kids' desire to go to summer camp, even if they didn't understand it. Who read Dr Seuss to their blonde, curly-haired normie kid, even when it brought them pain, because it made him smile. Especially the line where Wednesday announces that she'll never be a housewife, get married, have a family... the whole point of the Addams Family is that they defy expectations and social norms. Wednesday's declaration shouldn't be hurtful. The series just feels like an OOC wattpad fanfic to me.
Wednesday is a delightful show!! Looking forward to this series. Mother daughter plots in shows hit me differently since my own mom passed. The issues you raised around guiding and listening to your kids rather than lecturing them are so important. My parents never really acknowledged mistakes or failings and liked to tell me how I felt and what I needed a lot, the few times they were vulnerable, it was putting us in a position where we had to care for/parent them emotionally. This made me resentful, defiant, and unable to trust them as a teenager. I’m past being angry about it at this point because now I understand more about their lives, and my dad has basically acknowledged that he’d handle things very differently now. The “parents want what’s best for you”line thrown at young people still rankles me. Of course, generally, your parents want what is best for you, but they don’t always *know* what’s best for you.
Break given. I was 21 when Mask of Zorro came out and well, Antonio Banderas... *cough* Catherine Zeta-Jones is amazing though. Stunning and amazing. The late 90s had some awesome movies and actresses (Mask of Zorro, the Mummy, Titanic).
Wednesday was at Nevermore cause she needs to be in school and she has been expelled from most schools so they think it will be better for them.
I would never say Morticia and Gomez are helicopter parents. They just want her to go to school and are hoping that Nevermore will be more understanding to her quirks
I would love a Dr. Doof analysis! Phineas and Ferb is imo, underrated!
Honestly watched this series cause I love Catherine Zeta Jones.
Edit: Ah, I see Jono is a man of culture as well!
I can relate to this dynamic with my mom a lot, but unlike Wednesday I lack the autonomy and sense of self to truly see what I authentically want and desire for myself. Loved to see these two though. I’ve always cursed myself for not being a dove like my mom, and being much darker. But looking at Wednesday with her mom here I could see for once how beautiful that actually is. Cheers ❤
My Mother always wanted me to quit smoking growing up and well into my 20s. It was only when she stop telling me to quite and let me make the choice I did 33 now and 3 years of no smoking sure I have stumbles but always stop myself because I don't want to smoke.
I loved the way they made the Addamses more normal by giving them an evolution of family tensions. I'm hoping they bring some of those minor characters back, like Festers ex-wife. She'd make a great Instagram Karen villan to explore a whole host of issues!
I know this is a mostly video focused channel, but if at some time you get the chance to analyze kids from literature, it would be great to get your thoughts on the "Harry Potter" character from "Harry Potter and the Method of Rationality"(HPMOR) by Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Trying to shelter kids just makes them feel scared, because they think you don't know about the dark side of the world, and they don't know where to turn. I remember, as a teenager, saying something to my Grandmother about how annoying I found foul language among my classmates and she asked, "Do you mean words like poop?" and I thought, "man, this woman has no idea what the real world's like!" So when my brother got on drugs and made my life a living hell I couldn't turn to her, because I didn't believe she'd know what to do--she never talked about drugs, so I assumed she was completely ignorant about them.
Yay! You did Wednesday! Was hoping you’d take on this show!
A little sad that you didn't made a video the relationship between Weems and Wednesday because that's really interesting to see the challenges between them. The dynamics are perfectly and perfectly played. I like your videos. Thank you
Specific context here. So I am a transgender person (I don't feel connected to my gender assigned at birth). I told my mother, and she didn't have a violent reaction, but it was painful for me. She don't recognize that I don't feel like a woman at all and I had been through a tough time mentally because she made me feel controlled and not valid to manifest a transgender identity. I really felt your words when you said that children/teenagers need more guidance than control (or guidance over control). I allow room for myself to search what my issues are with my identity and tell myself to not get stuck into my own mind by thinking that transitioning is the only way for me to be happy (and I don't want to invalidate other's experience by saying that because it's only my experience and you don't have to relate if you don't feel like it). I also try to be patient with my mother, because even tho I think that sometimes she is misgendering me intentionally, I remind myself that it's a long process sometimes to allow change to happen. I know she loves me, and I love her too, but I don't want her to deny the fact that I'm not a girl for eternity, if I'm sure in the future that I really am transgender and that I truly want to transition...thank you for doing this video, I really needed this :)
I like watching these even if they don’t relate. My issue with my mum is probably emotional neglect. Listen great mum. Read with me every night. Provided what I needed with what little we had. But I have never really learned how to process my emotions. I was always told to stop being a cry baby or drama queen and just made me try and shut the feeling off. But feels of anger or frustration are harder for me to process and I just cry at any emotion. I let myself cry now because that’s all I can do. But I also hold back so much emotion all the time I get like random spells where I’m just crying for no reason. And like it’s probably slight depression. At least if I went to my GP that’s what he’d say even though he isn’t a psychologist.
This is a belated response but this is very similar to my own experience so I wanted to respond. My mum was truly incredible, and she'd often also let me and my siblings feel our feelings and give us space to be alone if we needed to be alone with them and stuff, but our family history still meant that we often struggled with expressing emotion. I particularly struggle with anger and cry really easily at everything. It's definitely better to just let yourself cry than bottling it up! I also really want to encourage you to look into therapy if it's possible, because it helped me understand and manage my emotions so much better.
Helicopter parenting can create rebels but also anxious indecisive adults like me. I never know what to do until I get a nod of approval from my mom, and then what it seemed too crazy and dangerous a minute ago now seems exciting and mama approved.
I’m 23, and honestly I’m scared of the day when I move from home and have to make my own daily decisions, cause at this rate I’ll have a panic attack before doing everything
4:20 Mask of Zorro! Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time
This is my favorite series of the Adam's. I loved the 1960s series and adored their attitudes against the world. I flip flop between I don't care what anyone else thinks and wanting everyone's approval. I really enjoyed your video. Looking forward to more. ❤️❤️
I loved the show, I've been a fan of Jenna Ortega since her Disney days.
Jenna as Harley in Stuck In The Middle was surprisingly decent.
Sliding 10 bucks to production, hoping the next tv show explored to be The Last of Us.
As for Wednesday, easily my favorite episode of the show was episode 5 where the Addams are the center of attention and where they mend their relationship (more or less) and where Wednesday and Morticia finally have a heart to heart, where obviously Wednesday is more available to her mother (and vice versa). They feel on the same ground in this episode, which is something I really liked about how their relationship seemed to have matured. Maybe because of distance? Maybe because Morticia finally saw Wednesday as an adult (or soon to be), and someone she could "trust" to be vulnerable around? Idk how to say it, but Morticia opened up about really dark secrets of her past. With her daughter. Really few parents do that (or at least, not without weighing too much guilt or emotion on their kid: here it was about Morticia trusting Wednesday, and not Morticia relying on Wednesday as an emotional support), and that's where I feel like balance and understanding came from because I feel like that's when Morticia saw Wednesday for who she was and who she wanted to become. They became separate entities from this episode forward, as seen obviously also in the writing, when people finally stopped saying Wednesday "oh your mother used to do that" "oh your mother loved that!" every time she was going around some hallway lol.
Hi, i think you could therapize Georgia from Ginny and Georgia, she is mother who has pretty insane past. Also I think that relationship of Ginny and Marcus would be good for Therapized video.
WOW! It got released some minutes ago and youtube popped it up in my home page, and from a case i was truly waiting for!
Since i saw the wednesday series i actually got irritated from this version of morticia, and i was always cringed by her and her interactions (or wednesday's interactions) with the other members of the family. Every scene between them was so uncomfortable... even for the addams' vibes TnT. All i could think was: "I want my girl back 😥"
To clarify, in other versions she gets along better with them?
In short I had a dysfunctional family. Rather than be annoyed, I am more scared and uncomfortable whenever my mother tries to bond with me. Then she would get mad, yell at me for not loving her, then progressively get more and more aggressive at me for remaining silent and not showing any affection.
Sometimes I feel like there is nothing inside me. No happiness, no sadness, and no love. No love for myself, and no love for her either.
I thought it was interesting that there was no link made between Morticia forcing her to go to Nevermore and being very diligent on her staying there, and the fact that Wednesday displayed really dangerous behavior at her other school. Seems like Morticia's/the family's hand was a bit forced into trying Nevermore, no? Sure Wednesday didn't like it, and M and G could have been more gracious about Wednesday having her own experience there. But sometimes we have to get more rigid when the kid shows they can't handle the amount of responsibility they've been given... right?
And what about kids who don't really listen to 'guidance'? Even with a 'good enough' relationship with the parent? Still lots of questions after this vid for me. Keep 'em coming.
4:08 It's OK, Jono. We were all thinking it. Mask of Zorro was awesome 😈
Freudian slip there by Johnno!
I love your guys videos so much, they're really insightful and interesting.
I would love for you to do a video on either the sibling relationships in gravity falls or a video on cloudy with a chance of meatballs
Gravity Falls is a good fit for ML, Meatballs for CT :)
@@MendedLight Also; I'm sorry to hear about Catherine's passing. That must've been hard; for a lot of you and not just Johnathon from Mended Light/ Cinema Therapy. My condolences.
So excited for this series on Wednesday!
Hey Light Menders! Do you need extra support in your healing journey? Get 50% off a Mended Light membership here and enjoy our video courses, Live Q&A's with Alicia and Jonathan, monthly virtual book club events, and more! mendedlight.com/25
I love "Wednesday" so much!
This was amazing. The series was amazing, this video and relationship analysis about it was amazing.
It gets me every time, how the Adams family are an epitome of "divergence" and here they are, being the one rare case across the series AND so many other shows and movies, modelling actually healthy family dynamics!
This is so similar to my own life experience, with the part of "being in a place of deep understanding what healthy dynamics between people look like, especially with neurodivergence in the picture" but then finding myself quite alone with that, in my surroundings. Needing to look for such modelling or modelling by mental health professionals who live at the other side of the world, like you! Just so I could confirm that I'm not the only one perceiving these things. And that somewhere out there, people actually manage to live out these principles in real life family dynamics.
I keep wondering more and more if it's not possibly indeed a super skill that is linked with the neurodivergent spectrum itself, giving us (and ppl working with us) a higher probability to reach those conclusions. Like one of the possible natural consequences to living under "special" = "misfit" (in the most neutral, "not normative" sense) conditions.
Somehow the people I've spotted so far, were either neurodivergent, too, or psychologists/psychiatrists of the very open and attentive type, who'd naturally end up working with many of us. Interesting. That just occurred to me.
Thank you, Jonathan!
Please do the Ginny and Georgia show 🙏 there is the same issue with them but much stronger. Mother/daughter broken relationship + friend instead of a mother. It’s really interesting!!
Why the hell did I get a Matt Walsh ad halfway through this video? UA-cam, I thought you knew me better than this 😔
This was great! Looking forward to all the other upcoming Wednesday videos
i have spoken these words to my mother before phrased differently but yes 2:26
Helicopter parenting has a sometimes heckuva destructive prop wash.
One of the things that I didn't like about this series was that it felt very confused about where the line was between bad = good and bad = bad
Like one of the obvious examples is in the first episode whenever Wednesday or Gomez talk about murder and it is conveyed as a good thing to do as long as you don't get caught… and then later in the series she's like horrified at the idea of Gomez being a murderer? Despite the fact that in the first episode he was bragging about being a murderer?
That same thing made it really confusing for me to try and keep up with the family drama - why are you mad at Morticia for saying mean things when you guys all seem to take mean things as a compliment???
right??? plus i find it hard to believe morticia would push anything onto her children at all. wednesday absolutely adored her mother growing up and would dress like her including her red nail polish because she loved her so much
Love the show! and this video! Sending to my husband for when we have kids
Awesome! Thank you!
I had no problems getting along with my mom, but my dad and I had nothing in common. He was violent and prioritized all other matters above family. He hid cameras and microphones in kids' toilets. He broke every rule he could get away with, and he rebelled against any semblance of decent manners and civilized culture. In my late 30s, I took a DNA test that revealed that he was not my biological father despite my mother's insistence that there was no other man. I don't logically think it should matter where one's genes came from, but I won't lie, I was pleased to make that discovery. Both my parents insisted that the DNA test was wrong for the rest of their lives, but I remained best friends with my mom while my dad kept trying to drive me to an early grave. I think what made me such good friends with my mom is that she valued being civilized and cultured and educated, which I also value greatly. She also recognized my hard work and study when I went to university and learned new things, and she trusted me to not mislead her or abuse her trust. I worked hard to be decent, considerate, and academically accomplished, and she saw the amount of effort I put into it and how important it was to me, and she supported it and nurtured it, and I'm forever grateful for that. My dad said people who study go to hell because knowledge is Satan's way of deceiving you. I have no idea what my parents saw in each other.
Loved it! Can't wait for the next season. Yes, the family dynamic made it all the better.
I needed to hear that. Love it, Thanks! I'm the daughter or wednesday here!
Thank you. Loved this. I was introduced to you by your reviews of Nate from euphoria.
My mom was usually the most stable and unselfish parent. Even as a 34 year old woman it has been difficult to navigate the relationship with my dad who is much more needy and dependent.
13:01 he mentions helicopter parenting and just immediately my mom rings me to throw some instructions 🤣😭
Thank you for saying "if" so casually.
will you ever make a video about Agents of Shield? Maybe about Daisy who is struggling with depression in season 4, or couples therapy for Fitz and Simons
I absolutely loved Wednesday! Quite possibly my favourite show now.
I love your outro phrase, it makes me smile every time~ 😊
I think the Police song Mother sums it up nicely.
The mistakes is what will give the children their wisdom - wisdom is not knowledge - it is experience. Parents are not perfect - so that is what the rebellion teen sees - the parents have fallen of their pedestals. Parents lied to them, tricked them, manipulated them, and they more often then not are a non-perfect human being. But you have to do as they say and do, follow their example... how is this rational or logical. This is what the teens rebel against, and then fall into the trap themselves once they become the parents, and the cycle of the splinter and the beam hits repeat.
We deal with things the way we were taught, our experiences, etc. transcending these generational traumas are not easy and take work, and if the work is being done it is the third generation that will reap the actual benefits from this. That is how this works, but as how little have noticed the bigger pictures.
"As life changing as I did." Right now this still refers to the cover up of murder/man slaughter. Morbid things the witch mother wishes on her daughter.
But we take it in with our bias and context; College type situation = life changing growth.
Or boarding schools for many were a trauma trap of abuses. Or the exit route for a abusive family structure, often to safe face by that family structure.
Parents having a vision for the future of their children, if not careful are living intertwined or vicariously. "A symbol of our connection" mostly referring still to the M W symbolism, but also foreshadowing the visions aspect of the Addams, the dove vs the raven. Morticia v Wednesday. Which is a little weird, since Goodie Adams was an Addams, Gomez Addams is the Adams family line - unless... the Addams Pedigree is inbred why Morticia Addams is an Addams bloodline, and not just through marriage from the outside.
Our is our cellphone with crystal screens our crystal ball? Like how our space rockets are "the train" of Jules Verne in From the earth to the moon.
Science has roots in things like alchemy and other things... evolution of knowledge, understanding and lets hope some wisdom.
I was four years old when the mask of zorro came out and CZJ has been my crush since. We’re on the same boat my dear Jonathan !
Ps… my boyfriend’s name is also Jonathan !
Can you react to the love triangle in Taylor Swift’s album Folklore? It’s between the songs Cardigan, August, and Betty. I am obsessed with the dynamic she created through music!
I am looking forward to all the Wednesday series!!
Joooooooonnnnnnn and everybody on the internet 🥰 you gotta watch Shrinking 😍 It would be so awsome if you would at some point react to it. I think the humor and the storylines would be right up your alley. Much love from Europe! I appreciate your work a lot!
I wish y’all would review the mother daughter relationship in Lady Bird
Loved this! Can't wait to see what you say about the therapy sessions!😄
If the Zorro holders had been smart with the producers of Queen Of Swords, they could have done what Marvel did with the movies and television tie ins, the Marvel cinematic universe thing. Could easily have had CZJ and Tessie Santiago characters be (separated by distance) cousins, their papas being brothers. Also curious how two (HAWT) Joneses have played Morticia.
I feel like the writers missed a trick when they omitted an appropriate response for Wednesday to the line, “Without the proper training, they can lead to madness.”
We all know Wednesday should’ve said, “One can only hope.”
I look forward to the video about how to show up to therapy
I enjoyed the hell out of this show, but one issue I have with it is that it doesn’t explain the tension between them other than “teenager rebels against parent because…teenager”.
There’s always a reason why tension between humans exists, and I would have preferred to be shown why Wednesday has issues with her mother.
But other than that, solid show and this was informative :)
I think it’s because Wednesday doesn’t want to fall into the same way of life her mother has. (Mom, housewife) Wednesday wants to be an independent writer and a lone wolf. She’s also a teenager so that adds to the tension on top of it lol
@@tyer1997 Sure, but that needs to be shown. The show literally started off with mother/daughter tension without showing us why. Or even a good explanation. It already broke the “show, don’t tell” rule of storytelling, but it barely explained anything in the first place.
@@jenniferhiemstra5228 yeah that’s fair
So helpful thank you!!!
Please do Connor from Angel.
To this day people talk about him as a whiny, attitude teen. I have to admit I was to young too appreciate the character on first watch. As I got older and learned more about domestic abuse, gaslighting and coercive control. I felt so bad for the character and the hostage scene is just all the terrible things coming to a climax.
so... She Ra 2018? Villain Therapy Catra?
Yes!
That would be awesome
My mother was extremely controlling. I'm really trying to not be that way with my own daughter, but still give her the structure she needs.
This is a great post
this reminds me you should take a look at legends of cora spificley toft and her daughters
I am interested in opinions on the Addams Family overall. Is their Gothiness a physical/neurodivergent difference between them and boring humans? Or is it a bonding exercise within the family, uniting the family via differences from outside society?
yes I’ve been waiting for this one 😂😂🎉🎉