I’d rather be friends with an internal modest person that external. I’ve known people that dressed modest, but treated others horribly and had huge ‘ I’m better than you attitude’ and known people that dressed immodest but were humble and kind. I live and grew up in Utah where external modesty was forced but the Mormon church hardly practices internal modesty.
5:20 You said it’s more masculine to be sexually aggressive and to want to put yourself out there for sex, and you see no problem with that? If you want young men and women to wait to have sex before marriage then acknowledge that men are too sexual don't just right it off as "boys will be boys". If they want to have sex with a girl they will pressure her if they want to, regardless of what she may be wearing at the time. That leads to premarital sex and abortion which I thought you disliked.
I have grown more of an appreciation for modesty over the years. I think that our understanding of modesty is often misplaced. The word "modest" encompasses a lot more than just clothing. I think we miss the fact that the word means to not be boastful, to not show off, to not assume you are better than others. This can apply to clothing, however, there are so many other aspects of modesty that I think we miss in society today. I think that if we understood the word in a more holistic way, we would have an even better appreciation for its application in clothing as well. Thanks for your thoughts, I wish more people appreciated modesty like you do!
I think our standards for men are too low. Like yes, men are more visual but why should that be SUCH an impediment to them taking you seriously or getting to know you? Why can't men compartmentalize their desires? Why this binary proposition? Either you dress modestly and men take you seriously and connect with you OR you dress immodestly and men just can't get past the physical barrier and you wind up getting used. Seems like there should be something in between. We're not talking about children or teenage boys here. Grown men cannot be expected to contain their sexual desire to pursue deeper values? How are men positioning themselves as leaders and the less emotional sex when this is their level of functioning???
I agree. It’s just as important for women to be modest as it is for men to stop giving into temptation so easily. The nonchalant “boys will be boys” attitude that most people have does nothing to help men do better.
It goes both ways. Men should control their gaze but women should be considerate and not make a spectacle of themselves. Think of a recovering porn addict who has to spend time around skimpy women. It's rude and disingenuous to act like there's *nothing* a woman can/should do to make things easier for him. It's considerate to others to dress modestly. People act like being told to dress modestly is oppressive when it's just common courtesy for others.
"Like yes, men are more visual" You have no idea what you're saying. You clearly have no empathy for men and yet expect it for yourself. Do you know how many of us men wish our sexuality had an off-switch so that we could get on with our days more easily and concentrate on more meaningful pursuits? But if women dress in such a way as to draw attention to their shape of their bodies, then they are sending a signal that that's what they want us to focus on. Why not hold them responsible for that? How are you knocking men's maturity while demanding that women can act however they want without consequence?
THANK YOU! this view that men are only going to see women as sex objects if they dress immodestly is absurd. Maybe there are some men out there like that, and in that case, they're not worth the time anyway. They're not single-celled organisms, and it's totally possible for them to think a woman has a hot body AND like her personality. When my husband and I first started dating, it was right in the middle of summer and close to 100 degrees out everyday. So I'm sure Abby would be appalled by the short shorts I was wearing on our dates. And guess what? He still took an interest in my personality, interests, etc., and we're happily married. Pretty sure he didn't think anything of the fact that I was wearing normal clothes in the summertime, because he's not an out-of-touch weirdo.
What you say is absolutely true. I've been literally so brainwashed by modern society that I was disagreeing with you at every single point. I paused your video multiple times and let myself use my own past experiences and logic to make sense of what you're saying. And I agree 100%. Feminism was a good thing. Until it started sacrificing femininity for wokeness.
I don't think that clothes you wear in public are private. Unfortunately, many people don't know how to behave in public so that they don't disturb other people. People wear clothes that show their underwear, eat a smelly burger in a closed train, talk about bed stories or listen to loud music in public. There is a lack of manners and awareness of other people's space. Unfortunately, for many people, consideration is just a restriction of their own individuality.
Do you have any tips on how to wait for sex until marriage if you aren't a virgin? I know you were when you were dating, but I'm not, and I feel this huge pressure to justify the harm I have done to my future husband by "putting out" early. Hope you're doing well, thanks
THANK YOU! I have been saying this for YEARS! These women that defend women who dress provocatively be the same ones who wonder why they can't keep a long term relationship.
Modesty is also good for professionalism in an office setting as well as for comfort and practicality. I’m happy I don’t have to worry about if something is showing.
The thing is that modesty standards vary widely. Abby’s blouse would be considered immodest by Orthodox Jewish and Catholic standards. Many people, self included, would consider it reasonably modest. 💖
The Catholic standard is as follows: "A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper." --The Cardinal Vicar of Pope Pius XI
The Orthodox Jewish standard is as follows: “The basic laws are simple-cover the knees, the elbows, and the collarbone, and don't wear anything skintight.”
@@AdaraBalabustaI’m giving here the benefit of accepting that as really said by the person mentioned but still it wouldn’t constitute “the catholic standard”
@@AdaraBalabusta as far as I understand, that's from a papal opinion directed toward women who lived about 150 years ago. While it's good for Catholics to respect the advice given by the pope, we need to understand that not everything the pope says is infallible, and that the standards of modesty can change over time and in different places in the world (within reason of course). The rules of modesty in 19th century Europe (when it would have been extremely immodest for a woman to appear in public without a cap or bonnet on her head and without wearing many layers of clothing) are very different from the rules of modesty in the USA today. I'm all for modest dressing, but we shouldn't take papal opinions to be more binding than they actually are, nor should we be completely legalistic in how we dress. As a Catholic, I think her blouse is definitely modest. And I don't know why any Catholic today (layperson or clergy) would have a problem with her blouse.
I think that 99 percent would agree to the definition, that a miniskirt and opened-up blouse, where you can see the underwear, is not modest. I think it is a shame, that so many people wear clothes in public, they should better wear in the bedroom.
Interesting video! I've always been attracted to reserved, modest woman most. Modesty is sexy, ironically. Walking around exposed is like junk food. It's initially exciting, but has no depth. I won't lie that I don't like seeing skin, but I would much prefer a girl who knows her worth and covers up. Undressing before intimacy is part of the fun, if that's not too scandalous to say. ❤️
THANK YOU. Dressing modestly does NOT mean unfashionable or frumpy! You can still have "a figure" while dressing modestly. Honestly being modest in my dress makes going out way more relaxing and enjoyable, especially during summer when I'm not constantly worried about flashing someone by mistake! I'm not particularly pious or conservative as a person, but I really am a proponent for modesty in order to respect ourselves and go about life in a way that is both beautiful but also comfortable and less stressful! 💜
I need a clearer definition of what dressing modestly is, please. Mini skirts are immodest, are shorts or skorts? Can I wear my tennis skirt? I agree that there are inappropriate ways to dress, but it has far more to do with the situation than the clothes. There are things I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing, but that doesn't mean I find it unacceptable for someone else. We seem to be far too concerned with presuming a need to control other people's choices. Sharing your opinion with people close to you, who ask for it, is one thing, deciding that your opinion is something strangers need to hear, and adopt is something else entirely. Of all the problems facing young women today, their inability to choose their own wardrobe effectively is far down on the list of things they may need a stranger's assistance with.
I don't think that clothes you wear in public are private. Unfortunately, many people don't know how to behave in public so that they don't disturb other people. People wear clothes that show their underwear, eat a smelly burger in a closed train, talk about bed stories or listen to loud music in public. There is a lack of manners and awareness of other people's space. Unfortunately, for many people, consideration is just a restriction of their own individuality.
@@dogperson432if they want to be modest they should dress in line with what like/believe. It’s not rocket science. They don’t need my approval. I wrote people should dress how they want, that should’ve been your first hint. Nobody needs someone else telling them how they SHOULD dress.
Agreed. There is such a thing of cause and effect. If someone dresses as a h*e , she is neither going to be taken seriously, nor is anyone going to give her a medal for exercising her 'CHOICE'.
❤ I do think modesty is very important. For me as a Catholic, there aren’t such clear rules as to what it means, but I do think most people would know once an outfit isn’t modest anymore. I always try to stay on the other side of that.
The perfect example of cause and effect in the context of modesty (or lack thereof) .....the gym. There's a reason why women in previous generations experienced chivalry from men on a regular basis.
As a man, I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of modesty. A lovely woman should be valued as an entire person, not merely a sexual commodity available for satisfying lust. As the old saying goes, “If it walks like duck and it quacks like a duck , it will be recognized as a duck, not as a swan!”
I feel like modesty is somewhat a lost art, our society doesn't value women at all anymore (despite what mainstream values might have you believe). I worry for my sons and for the way that our society actively tries to tear them down and corrupt their hearts
Tiktok is littered with teary testimonials about how men don't approach women anymore. It is because men are sick and tired of the bait and switch; the more provocatively a woman dresses the more likely she is to turn you down. People are more interested in playing games than they are in establishing anything meaningful and their outfit usually communicates that loud and clear.
At 52, I look around and just wonder how we get here where being trashy is desired. While I was growing up and had the body to wear short skirts, I did. Now, I am drawn to modesty as it is more desirable to a God and Christ centered men.
🩷Modesty these days is so underrated and undervalued, a woman who’s beautifully covered up will always leave more to the imagination, therefore creating more desire and value to the moments she chooses to share with her husband. I’ve always dressed the most modestly of women my age, and I will always choose to do so proudly. It’s wonderful to see other women respecting their bodies and their preciousness. 🩵
I’d rather be friends with an internal modest person that external. I’ve known people that dressed modest, but treated others horribly and had huge ‘ I’m better than you attitude’ and known people that dressed immodest but were humble and kind.
I live and grew up in Utah where external modesty was forced but the Mormon church hardly practices internal modesty.
Excellent point. I agree.
Yes exactly same here in the Islamic community but we need to not neglect good things because people are using them for their personal advantage
5:20 You said it’s more masculine to be sexually aggressive and to want to put yourself out there for sex, and you see no problem with that? If you want young men and women to wait to have sex before marriage then acknowledge that men are too sexual don't just right it off as "boys will be boys". If they want to have sex with a girl they will pressure her if they want to, regardless of what she may be wearing at the time. That leads to premarital sex and abortion which I thought you disliked.
I have grown more of an appreciation for modesty over the years. I think that our understanding of modesty is often misplaced. The word "modest" encompasses a lot more than just clothing. I think we miss the fact that the word means to not be boastful, to not show off, to not assume you are better than others. This can apply to clothing, however, there are so many other aspects of modesty that I think we miss in society today. I think that if we understood the word in a more holistic way, we would have an even better appreciation for its application in clothing as well. Thanks for your thoughts, I wish more people appreciated modesty like you do!
I think our standards for men are too low. Like yes, men are more visual but why should that be SUCH an impediment to them taking you seriously or getting to know you? Why can't men compartmentalize their desires? Why this binary proposition? Either you dress modestly and men take you seriously and connect with you OR you dress immodestly and men just can't get past the physical barrier and you wind up getting used. Seems like there should be something in between. We're not talking about children or teenage boys here. Grown men cannot be expected to contain their sexual desire to pursue deeper values? How are men positioning themselves as leaders and the less emotional sex when this is their level of functioning???
I agree. It’s just as important for women to be modest as it is for men to stop giving into temptation so easily. The nonchalant “boys will be boys” attitude that most people have does nothing to help men do better.
It goes both ways. Men should control their gaze but women should be considerate and not make a spectacle of themselves.
Think of a recovering porn addict who has to spend time around skimpy women. It's rude and disingenuous to act like there's *nothing* a woman can/should do to make things easier for him.
It's considerate to others to dress modestly. People act like being told to dress modestly is oppressive when it's just common courtesy for others.
Well said!
"Like yes, men are more visual"
You have no idea what you're saying. You clearly have no empathy for men and yet expect it for yourself.
Do you know how many of us men wish our sexuality had an off-switch so that we could get on with our days more easily and concentrate on more meaningful pursuits?
But if women dress in such a way as to draw attention to their shape of their bodies, then they are sending a signal that that's what they want us to focus on. Why not hold them responsible for that? How are you knocking men's maturity while demanding that women can act however they want without consequence?
THANK YOU! this view that men are only going to see women as sex objects if they dress immodestly is absurd. Maybe there are some men out there like that, and in that case, they're not worth the time anyway. They're not single-celled organisms, and it's totally possible for them to think a woman has a hot body AND like her personality. When my husband and I first started dating, it was right in the middle of summer and close to 100 degrees out everyday. So I'm sure Abby would be appalled by the short shorts I was wearing on our dates. And guess what? He still took an interest in my personality, interests, etc., and we're happily married. Pretty sure he didn't think anything of the fact that I was wearing normal clothes in the summertime, because he's not an out-of-touch weirdo.
Very well said, I try to incorporate physical and mental modesty as much as I can. It’s a journey!
💜 I love all shades of purple, especially Lilac/Lavender
What you say is absolutely true. I've been literally so brainwashed by modern society that I was disagreeing with you at every single point. I paused your video multiple times and let myself use my own past experiences and logic to make sense of what you're saying. And I agree 100%. Feminism was a good thing. Until it started sacrificing femininity for wokeness.
Why do women need to be feminine.
I'm not Jewish but I love dressing modestly. I do it for myself, not for anyone.
Exactly I’m not either but I love it too. Also kind of off-topic question. Is it strange that I’m a lot happier ever since I found this channel?
Very well said Abby! 💙
I love dressing modestly.
I don't think that clothes you wear in public are private. Unfortunately, many people don't know how to behave in public so that they don't disturb other people. People wear clothes that show their underwear, eat a smelly burger in a closed train, talk about bed stories or listen to loud music in public. There is a lack of manners and awareness of other people's space. Unfortunately, for many people, consideration is just a restriction of their own individuality.
Modesty is beautiful!
Love this video! Great points made! All about modesty here 😊 🧡
Do you have any tips on how to wait for sex until marriage if you aren't a virgin? I know you were when you were dating, but I'm not, and I feel this huge pressure to justify the harm I have done to my future husband by "putting out" early. Hope you're doing well, thanks
I'd love a modest, down to earth girl with a real personality.
THANK YOU! I have been saying this for YEARS! These women that defend women who dress provocatively be the same ones who wonder why they can't keep a long term relationship.
You can dress modestly and still look very appealing 💖
Love your chats on modesty! Your thoughts have definitely inspired me to keep modesty in mind when getting dressed. 💜
Couldn’t agree more! Also my favorite color is yellow although navy/royal blue is really sticking out to me lately 💛💙
Modesty is also good for professionalism in an office setting as well as for comfort and practicality. I’m happy I don’t have to worry about if something is showing.
6:50 the real case for modesty! My God, I can't believe how brainwashed I was...
The thing is that modesty standards vary widely. Abby’s blouse would be considered immodest by Orthodox Jewish and Catholic standards. Many people, self included, would consider it reasonably modest. 💖
The Catholic standard is as follows:
"A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper."
--The Cardinal Vicar of Pope Pius XI
The Orthodox Jewish standard is as follows: “The basic laws are simple-cover the knees, the elbows, and the collarbone, and don't wear anything skintight.”
@@AdaraBalabustaI’m giving here the benefit of accepting that as really said by the person mentioned but still it wouldn’t constitute “the catholic standard”
@@AdaraBalabusta as far as I understand, that's from a papal opinion directed toward women who lived about 150 years ago. While it's good for Catholics to respect the advice given by the pope, we need to understand that not everything the pope says is infallible, and that the standards of modesty can change over time and in different places in the world (within reason of course). The rules of modesty in 19th century Europe (when it would have been extremely immodest for a woman to appear in public without a cap or bonnet on her head and without wearing many layers of clothing) are very different from the rules of modesty in the USA today. I'm all for modest dressing, but we shouldn't take papal opinions to be more binding than they actually are, nor should we be completely legalistic in how we dress.
As a Catholic, I think her blouse is definitely modest. And I don't know why any Catholic today (layperson or clergy) would have a problem with her blouse.
I think that 99 percent would agree to the definition, that a miniskirt and opened-up blouse, where you can see the underwear, is not modest. I think it is a shame, that so many people wear clothes in public, they should better wear in the bedroom.
I totally agree with you
MILFY!!!
My favourite colour is brown 🤎
Ironically, the more you reveal, the less us men see of you.
I would love to see you cook in the kitchen again Abby! Absolutely love those old cooking vids!
Thank you! 💜
Thank you, Abby! I appreciate your perspective on modesty! 💜
I think more when it women should aspire to be modest.
Free Palestine
more women need this advice
❤❤❤
Interesting video! I've always been attracted to reserved, modest woman most. Modesty is sexy, ironically. Walking around exposed is like junk food. It's initially exciting, but has no depth.
I won't lie that I don't like seeing skin, but I would much prefer a girl who knows her worth and covers up. Undressing before intimacy is part of the fun, if that's not too scandalous to say.
❤️
Love this!💛💙
I don't have no religion, but i love drrssing modestly, greeting from north Africa Tunisia ❤
THANK YOU. Dressing modestly does NOT mean unfashionable or frumpy! You can still have "a figure" while dressing modestly. Honestly being modest in my dress makes going out way more relaxing and enjoyable, especially during summer when I'm not constantly worried about flashing someone by mistake! I'm not particularly pious or conservative as a person, but I really am a proponent for modesty in order to respect ourselves and go about life in a way that is both beautiful but also comfortable and less stressful! 💜
I need a clearer definition of what dressing modestly is, please. Mini skirts are immodest, are shorts or skorts? Can I wear my tennis skirt? I agree that there are inappropriate ways to dress, but it has far more to do with the situation than the clothes. There are things I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing, but that doesn't mean I find it unacceptable for someone else. We seem to be far too concerned with presuming a need to control other people's choices. Sharing your opinion with people close to you, who ask for it, is one thing, deciding that your opinion is something strangers need to hear, and adopt is something else entirely. Of all the problems facing young women today, their inability to choose their own wardrobe effectively is far down on the list of things they may need a stranger's assistance with.
Shorts and skorts are definitely not immodest unless they are butt short.
I don't think that clothes you wear in public are private. Unfortunately, many people don't know how to behave in public so that they don't disturb other people. People wear clothes that show their underwear, eat a smelly burger in a closed train, talk about bed stories or listen to loud music in public. There is a lack of manners and awareness of other people's space. Unfortunately, for many people, consideration is just a restriction of their own individuality.
You are beating that dead horse again 🤭🤭
People should dress how they want.
Fetch me my fig leaf
And if they want to be modest? Is that okay with you?
@@dogperson432if they want to be modest they should dress in line with what like/believe. It’s not rocket science. They don’t need my approval. I wrote people should dress how they want, that should’ve been your first hint. Nobody needs someone else telling them how they SHOULD dress.
Agreed. There is such a thing of cause and effect. If someone dresses as a h*e , she is neither going to be taken seriously, nor is anyone going to give her a medal for exercising her 'CHOICE'.
@@annamolly2549 society doesn't work that way unless you want absolute chaos, which is what we have
💜💙💚🧡❤️🤍🤎💛🖤💓
Yes, ladies. Make a man earn youuuuuuu. Modesty can rule out the players.
I never before watched an entire video and have no clue what it was about. But yet here we are
❤ I do think modesty is very important. For me as a Catholic, there aren’t such clear rules as to what it means, but I do think most people would know once an outfit isn’t modest anymore. I always try to stay on the other side of that.
The perfect example of cause and effect in the context of modesty (or lack thereof) .....the gym.
There's a reason why women in previous generations experienced chivalry from men on a regular basis.
💚 you really nailed this topic! I whole heartedly agree with basically everything you’ve said. Love your videos!!
💙💙
💖
As a man, I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of modesty. A lovely woman should be valued as an entire person, not merely a sexual commodity available for satisfying lust. As the old saying goes, “If it walks like duck and it quacks like a duck , it will be recognized as a duck, not as a swan!”
💙💚💙💚
I feel like modesty is somewhat a lost art, our society doesn't value women at all anymore (despite what mainstream values might have you believe). I worry for my sons and for the way that our society actively tries to tear them down and corrupt their hearts
🖤
Actor and comedian Tom Rosenthal’s girlfriend Gabrielle Sky dresses modestly. She really does. I am NOT lying, I am telling the truth. 🎭🩰🎨
💙💙💙
Thank you for your video. I agree completely, women are not respecting themself nowadays 🧡
Thank you for this! A high value man isn't going to want to settle down long term with a woman who shows off to everybody. ❤❤❤❤
I am happy to see many young women returning to modesty and modest dressing. ❤
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Such an important video! Excited to watch this! 😊
💜
So true! Modesty is empowering and FOR the ladies!
💚
I think theirs more power in modesty because nobody knows what your body looks like underneath. It’s mystery and it’s classier
her husband is such a lucky man
❤ I love blue also
You are the kind of role model our little girls need ❤
All true
Tiktok is littered with teary testimonials about how men don't approach women anymore. It is because men are sick and tired of the bait and switch; the more provocatively a woman dresses the more likely she is to turn you down. People are more interested in playing games than they are in establishing anything meaningful and their outfit usually communicates that loud and clear.
At 52, I look around and just wonder how we get here where being trashy is desired. While I was growing up and had the body to wear short skirts, I did.
Now, I am drawn to modesty as it is more desirable to a God and Christ centered men.
My mom and sisters and I just got done singing at a Christian modesty conference that my grandma actually spoke at 🩷
🩷Modesty these days is so underrated and undervalued, a woman who’s beautifully covered up will always leave more to the imagination, therefore creating more desire and value to the moments she chooses to share with her husband. I’ve always dressed the most modestly of women my age, and I will always choose to do so proudly. It’s wonderful to see other women respecting their bodies and their preciousness. 🩵
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