Is there ever ways to be tested by your teams for treatment plans? And to help find specific Dra in our areas? I’m 44 and finally coming to terms with my transracial adoption at birth, to a narcissistic mother whom only wanted a girl. I was physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, racially, religiously, and at times medically abused. I just met my bio mother 8 months ago and it ended horribly. I’ve been in therapy for years, but literally feel helpless, hopeless, and stuck living the same cycle, yet peeling back more and more layers of trauma. My med Dr. just tries to get me to smile and sleep, even through painful tears crying out for help she gave me a 3rd antidepressant. My therapist is young and I honestly feel what I’m bringing to her table she’s not equipped for. Why is mental health so difficult 😞
How can I have you as my psychiatrist? K have CPTSD and I haven’t been able to find a great trauma expert to care and help me. How can I have you as my Theraphist?
@@DezaRay24 I know I don't know you but you are loved and so important. You didn't deserve any of what you had to endure. I'd love to know if it's not too Intrusive for you, of course, If you've found the help and healing you were seeking? If you see this or for anyone who does you aren't alone.
You talk about dissociative amnesia being part of PTSD, but what is it called when people can recall almost EVERYTHING about the trauma including the sounds, sights, smells, emotions etc? (Sorry if you mentioned this in the video, I didn't catch it)
❤️❤️❤️Dr. Ramani, I am SOOO Grateful to have found You! Thank You, for your ability to Help So Many of the Survivors of Narcissist Traumas, & the ones on the journey to Betterment!
CPTSD has made me view everything as if it were my fault. If someone is having a bad day, is upset, angry at me, or sad, I feel that somehow I am to blame, even though that is not true. It's hell on earth.
@77ranko I'm recovering from that whole roller coaster including narcissistic abuse. At times I wonder how being a normal person feels like because living with Cptsd is exhausting and draining😓
I was diagnosed with Adhd twice. Turned out it was CPTSD. Changed my diet, started exercising, journaled obsessively, picked up meditation, read a lot of books, watched a ton of videos, took courses, ate a few psychedelics, went to therapy and worked with a life coach. It took a few years but I'm doing great now. My advice to anyone suffering with this is TRY EVERYTHING. Don't stop. Keep going. It absolutely can get better.
@@louiserhodes5229 D... all of the above. I was a sad worried person who couldn't focus, addicted to weed, junk food and television, drank heavy, a ton of dissociative amnesia and was always dysregulated. I still have tiny triggers here and there and struggle a bit with attachment issues, but it's slowly getting worked out. I'm really doing great otherwise and this has been for a couple years now.
@@grunge_surf_witch_uk9130 im studying to be a counselor and i know theyre expensive..i plan to work some pro bono when i graduate..try online help if you can while u wait on the list....and if you're not on the list make sure you are, its worth it to try!
I miss being held. Not feeling trapped, not feeling threatened and hyper aware. Just to be held and feel NOTHING but safe..... I DON'T let humans near. I live in an isolated life in an isolated area and rely on my dogs. They are my pack and to date, have never hurt me....
I am diagnosed with CPTSD not from terrible physical or verbal trauma but from what some call a "tricky" family. I lived my childhood with an emotionally unsafe and moody mom, an absent, busy, or tired dad, a moody and bullying (but sometimes protective) older sibling. The damage in a family like this is equally debilitating but super hard to unpack because no overt crossing of lines took place and adults looking from the outside tell you it's all fine. No teachers step in. Neighbors don't see the moods. There is no mandatory reporting for a child who is just consistently on the back burner until someone feels like or has the time to do otherwise. When emotional health and personal agency is compromised so thoroughly the damage runs deep. I'd appreciate seeing this addressed on this channel as well as the overt physical and verbal abuses.
Hello I was emotionally neglected by my parents growing up. I can relate to the things you mentioned. Mg mother was verbally abusive, my dad is a narcissist. At the time I did not realize until adulthood that is one. He also allowed my siblings and I to watch porn when we were little also.
We share the exact background! But sadly I also had no one to turn to, got bullied massively by children and 'friends' abandoned me or also became bullies out of nowhere. I wish you the best 🖤
It's horrifying when you cannot recall details or main events of the trauma to even defend yourself when people paint you as an awful person. This happens so much in severe sexual abuse, being held captive, and drugged, and when you finally escape and find your way home, it is the victim's reputation that gets destroyed instead of the real perpetrators and the callous people who keep the lie alive. It is not the trauma that destroys us, but the lack of empathy, indifference and pure evil of those you know.
@Alvina Pemberton same happened to my friend - police doesn't believe her and other people like a commenter above. Her husband has no job for 12 years, she makes very good money herself, so no wealthy cover up and still no one would protect her. I was helping her to get away while others would blame her and not him. She was paying a lot of spousal support to him while he would not leave the house. She had to leave her house and live in the shelter for a few months while paying all expenses and he's living in the house. Then miracle happened and one judge turned everything into her protection and favour. She's still afraid of her ex. And police has to follow the judge's order but they still don't believe her. So please don't listen to anyone who saying that there are other ways to deal with the situation. You have done everything right in the circumstances. Let God take care of those who did not help you. Hugs and all the best! You deserve to be happy 💕 P.S. my friend's name is Alina almost like yours 🤩
@Alvina Pemberton your story sounds like a horror movie but it is your real life. Sending prayers that you can find peace and move on. Just remember that you have done everything right. You are not responsible for your ex behavior. You have done your best 💖
Yep. I don’t think people understand just how far down you push down these memories and events to make sure that they don’t accidentally slip, that when you try to say them, they’re stuck in a place where you can’t even remember them. Police officers are the worst examples of having a complete lack of understanding about how trauma works.
Yes those taking the change to repair and understand and heal it all are those who will break the generational curse and sucks how sometimes in the first discovery of what a narcasissist is and does and how you feel like you're the narc but setting up therapy im nervous and scared but im hoping to understand and undo trauma and fix it so i can try to not pass it to my kids
cPTSD has nothing to do with narcissistic parents. It's derived from ongoing sexual and physical abuse (long term and undiscovered by anyone) during early childhood and by close family members. Pls do not mix this.
@@BrigitteGoodman maybe educate yourself more about it next before you go around telling people what it is. By your definition mine doesn't exist nor is important but I was diagnosed by a an actual psychologist who got their doctorate studying about a topic on it but thanks for your input ha ha ha
@@lulumoon6942 that guy got fired from his own trauma center for harassing employees. Read Dr. Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies. She pioneered the mind body trauma concept.
I’m in my early 50s and my childhood trauma is bubbling to the surface. I’m watching a lot of stuff on UA-cam trying to make sense of how I’m feeling. It’s really tough atm, I’m crying at different points during the day almost everyday, but I think this is part of the healing process (at least I hope so)
Everyone tells me I’m so tough and brave to have survived and endured having a very traumatic childhood and physically/emotionally abusive marriage. I’m not strong inside, it just looks like I am from outside. I’m wrecked with sadness. I’m angry that therapy has cost me thousands of dollars to keep my mind sane all because my parents abandoned me and knowingly left me in a abusive home. I stopped being able to picture my life at 15 because in my mind I didn’t think I’d live beyond that.
Melinda I love you so very much. You matter so much to this world. You lived past 15 even when you thought you wouldn’t. isn’t that a miracle? The light would shine on your darkness soon and all your sadness will vanish Pray very often.
You know what I tell them when they say that? Facts! I don't sugar coat it. I tell them like it is. I tell them, helllllll no I'm not tough, lol. I cry every other night and get triggers on the constant. What gets me frustrated is that people have this "perfect" facade. But then you talk to people and realize that the person who makes those comments is in the same shit as you. But here's the thing....nobody TALKS to anybody anymore. It's all social media. So we don't communicate and connect as human beings anymore.
I remember the older you get the dumber you get more than once. Running down the basement stairs only to have a rolling pin whizz past my head and hit the wall in front of me. Coming home late and being greeted with a metal spoon to the head. This was done by my mother and there's more......
One of the most devastating parts of CPTSD is the depth of the distortions about myself. I appreciate when she said that those distortions extend to other aspects of life separate from the trauma. Very true in my experience. I feel like CPTSD makes you forget how to respect yourself. You don’t see your strengths or worth. You only see your weaknesses and vulnerability. And that’s paralyzing and not a place anyone should operate in. You can and deserve to love and respect yourself. And because of the lessons you learn during the healing process, you may even find that they deeply help someone else’s situation, even if it’s different. Hold onto hope.
Oh, wow! I was diagnosed with PTSD (before I ever heard the term, “CPTSD”)…not sure if there’s a difference. I knew it wasn’t just low self-esteem! I never knew it could affect that before, but it makes total sense now. I was severely abused for years, including physically, by the husband I married straight out of an abusive home. I was used to paying 100% of my attention to what my abuser wanted and needed, because he would hurt me if I didn’t guess correctly. After I got out, it took a lot of treatment to feel (or even comprehend) that I had preferences, needs, and rights in any situation, which deserved consideration. That’s why, I learned, it’s important to take time to heal, rather than starting a new relationship right away or even making important decisions. I would just do whatever I thought others wanted, without thinking of myself. My boss once said, “You are still being abused.” In reality, my new partner wasn’t trying to harm me, and was frustrated that I wouldn’t assert myself. I didn’t realize I had that right, or that I even had feelings to consider. Of course, that relationship didn’t last. I got into a third relationship and remarried, before seeking treatment. We ended up separated before I learned it was my right AND my responsibility to express needs, respect my basic boundaries, and set limits. I eventually realized my first husband would have hurt me, whether I did what he wanted or not. He had admitted to being, “in love with violence.” That’s literally what he said. I still had to leave, even though he had become more self aware, because he wouldn’t seek professional help. Because of this, his behavior didn’t change significantly. I hope everyone who is abused knows they are not causing it to happen by doing anything wrong. People have to tell you what they want, not make you guess. I didn’t “let him walk all over me.” I had to disassociate from my feelings to survive. I’m so glad I got myself back! I’m trying to repair my relationship with my 2nd husband, and we are both so much happier now that I know who I am, and that I matter. You really do have to love yourself before you can love a partner.
These are Children that are being affected. It's a distortion that started in me from years ago? Well i didnt want to try to run away again. But I'm in an area where people keep passing me by. Why?
I’ve had that used against me. “What’s the big deal? It was (insert number) years ago, it’s gone now.” It’s interesting how different people react to trauma-both experiencing it themselves and watching others try to deal with it.
I, too, have heard messages like that attached to mockery and diminishment. I tell myself that now, in a compassionate validating way and it helps, but having others come and disregard the past and it's effects with this message has furthered the trauma...
Dr Ramani, this is very helpful. I've ascribed my consistent failure to "get things done" as a character flaw, e.g. I'm lazy, disorganized, a procrastinator, etc. The idea that the consequences of C-PTSD include "disruptions in attention and concentration" is staggering to me. This revelation is like a bombshell. Thank you so much!
I literally felt the same way watching this!! I was wracking my brain as to why I can’t focus and get things done. This was such an eye opener! Wishing you good luck in your recover!
@@OMGitsShrimp Thank you, and I heartily wish the same to you. I am going to repeat this breakthrough as a sort of mantra when I find myself in lazy/procrastinator/disorganized mode. Fingers crossed!
Amen. Conventional therapies don't work. I'm 72, suffered from this disorder all my life. Told forget all that. Constant memories torment me. Flashbacks are totally disastrous. I'll just live with it, therapy is too expensive.
@@johnfoster3089 I felt like this when i was younger. Im middle aged now. Despite therapy and meds nothing's changed, i can't break free. This is a tad morbid for a youtube comment section but my question is, why should i hold on until i'm 72 or older? What's kept you here?
I found this out a few years ago, but it's really important. What I thought was laziness, procrastination and demotivation all my life, was actually low-grade dissociation. Dissociation is now seen as a spectrum, not just multiple personalities. Thank you for getting this info out there.
Blaming themselves - when a person who is abused finally confides in someone, many many clueless people will say "so what did you do, to deserve" ...whatever aggressive behavior is being described. These clueless people refuse to accept the existence of evil done by other people, the deny that emotional abuse exists, etc.... so the target of abuse gets little support.
Sadly I've seen from experience that those people usually are that way because that's what they were taught. For example. When my mom was with my father 25 years ago and my father would physically abuse her, my grandmother(dad's mom) would ask my mom what she said to set my father off. But just a couple of months ago I was having a conversation with the same grandmother about how abusive my grandfather was to her, and how his mother would say the same to my grandmother. Instantly I saw the intergenerational trauma laid out before me.
So true. My mom has said on one or more occasions that assault is correlated to what women wear like shorts skirts. It took me decades to finally tell her what happened to me when I was a young girl when my brother molested me. One day I told her you can wear hand me down clothes and baggy jeans like I did and still get molested by a family member. Unbelievable. And this from a woman who doesn’t remember several years from her own childhood.
Totally agree. Just like people who had an abusive childhood. Some runaway to flee a harmful situation only to end up in other harmful situations. It's a lot easier for certain people to compartmentalize their past than it is for others. Some individuals spiral unintentionally. An abusive relationship, drugs, alcohol, or homelessness. It's easier to blame someone for the situation they're in rather than ask how they got there in the first place. Some people are actually victims of their circumstances.
CPTSD is no joke and get's commonly misdiagnosed as ADHD due to brain fog, dissasosiation caused from flashbacks, and concentration issues that come with it - it is difficult things to overcome CPTSD since it is caused by complex ongoing trauma(s) but it is def doable to overcome it. Mine was caused by an emotionally abusive mother and physically and verbally abusive father and then two back to back abusive employers/ workplace. As someone overcoming it try everything and hit it with everything you've got: trauma therapy, EMDR, bodywork, yoga, exercise, changing your diet (with the guidance of a dietian), getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night, having healthy social connections and being in good healthy enviroments as much as you possibly can (get away and stay away from toxic people), getting a pet and spending frequent time in nature.
I like what you say about toxic people. One of my intrusive thoughts is of a wound being opened when around irritating and overwhelming people. You avoid them for so long, then they start to slip into your space for unknown reasons.
That's really interesting. I was diagnosed with ADHD and now I'm searching for a specialist in C-PTSD because I'm fairly sure my childhood, and into middle age, (with an alcoholic father) is a trauma that has affected my life.
Bitch im poor, im happy if I can treat myself to a burger let alone a dedicated asshole to tell be what to eat, yoga classes and a therapist thats gonna have to take like 20+ hours to just get starded going through the bulletpoints and "standout" events. I can "fight back" in like 15 years if I do exeptionally and become not a sad sack of shit😂
Exactly! I had trauma by abuse and bullying from my parents, schools,works, and family members bullying on me when I was mistaken, then put me down.... I had lots of bad headaches and pressure and think about suicide a few times, but my sons support me.
I appreciated how compassionate and non-pathologizing she was. Also how accurate the information was as well. CPTSD is rough, and it can be retraumatizing when people misinterpret your dissociative symptoms and reactions to flashbacks as you being intentionally difficult or immature or whatever, and then treat you badly on the basis of that. We just want to experience safe connections with other people, but when you reject us because of our trauma symptoms, we lose out on the opportunity to experience healthy relationships that would be healing for us.
It goes both ways, and if we use our “healthy brain body double” I also struggle with understanding why a healthy person would want to form safe connections with someone who is unsafe within themselves? Wouldn’t that be harm seeking (codependency if a bond is not forged conscientiously with great individual autonomy… any thoughts guys??
Yeah they want us to explain the trauma like a cold rock whos also perfectly put together they want zero emotion zero anger zero sadness and often they want zero blame outside ourselves as well as seeing ourselves as capable idk impossible expectations really its hard to describe. Empathy and understanding and listening is essential on their part yet they dont even have the attention span to listen fully for long enough, let alone near understanding , and 95% of the time not being the empathy or kindness we need after revealing about it
+:1::8::1::8::8::5::1::7::5::3::3:whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here🌀
Yes for me its the feeling that you're somehow not alive but still alive and how it feels so natural... The self hatred for simply existing and being a flawed peice, undeserving of any kindness or human decency.. woah that got negative so soon. This video was very insightful for me.
I’ve been through trauma most of my life. It was layered after so many events. Adrenaline fatigue is all I know in my days of healing. I’m still so young but with Cptsd it feels like life is over. I’m not giving up. I know one day I’ll feel peace
I’m 29 and I feel like my life is ending, too. The important thing is that we know better, and we can remind ourselves of that. Even if we don’t always believe it
I'm in my 50s and I didn't think I'd live past 30. As a woman, becoming "invisible" to men after the menopause is quite a relief. As you learn to love yourself, you become like the Velveteen Rabbit after the years go by - your outside may be worn, and that doesn't matter because you're still loved. If you haven't read the Velveteen Rabbit, it's worth a read.
I remember telling someone I was abused and when they asked me how I couldn't even name one event. I had been traumatized and severely abused for YEARS without any recollection. I finally recorded our interactions and upon replaying them it solidified what happened to me. I always questioned, and still do, whether it was me or not because recollection of events is hard. I now understand I have disossociative amnesia. The good thing is I am able to recall events upon reading others'. Unfortunately it came crashing down and I've been replaying traumatic events so much so during this pandemic and also realized I have cptsd. I've had nightmares till my 30s and have had depression. I didn't know it was from all the trauma. Education has helped me know it wasn't something I was born with. I was severely abused, traumatized and neglected my whole life.
I was in the middle of jury selection, listening to the stories of other potential jurors, when my own memories started flooding in. The judge sent me back to the jury pool, but when I got there the clerk said that the judge has excused me completely. I had to call my therapist and use some of my tools, just to be able to get myself out to my car to go home. My dog was in my car waiting to give me some puppy therapy. That incident was fairly early on in my recovery process and it gave us lots of material to work on the next day. I've had 3 such releases from jury duty. I guess judges are pretty good at recognizing that traumatized look on the faces of potential jurors. It really freaked me out to have a flood of memories wash over me. I understand what you mean. I think maybe it's that our subconscious can't hold it in any longer when we hear a story similar to our own. We hear "our" story being told by someone else and the memories refuse to stay hidden any longer.
@@sandyg3772 The same thing happened to me. The judge was extremely kind and sent me back down - I could hardly talk by time I got down, but the lady at the desk reassured me it was not my fault and everything was okay. Sometimes there are people who really understand, or at least enough to know what to say/do. They had me sit down and brought me cold water and then asked how I was getting home (I was getting picked up) so they let me leave.
Wow I remember a lot to my abuse, and after what happened at the Plasma place, I had a night mare that they screwed with my breaks, and I almost died then too.
It truly is angering to grow up not knowing who I am. Being constantly confused about things I like, what makes me happy and all the things that make me who I am. At times I feel confident and solid in my opinion of myself and then something triggers a memory and all that confidence disappears like it was never there. I don't suffer from multiple personality disorder but, sometimes it feels like it. From reading the comments it seems like all of us that have this have felt crazy until we got properly diagnosed and felt relief. I know we are all stronger than this condition has us believe ❤️🙂
@nichole8609 I truly understand the anger I was numb until I was 30 just going thru the motions. The more the memories pop up the more angry I become. I hope things are better for you now as opposed to a year ago when you wrote this. Stay strong U are a warrior.
Thank you! Perfectly said. Those who haven't experienced that trauma, don't understand and get upset when I zone out like I'm not there. They're right; I'm not. I don't do it on purpose! Also, people tell me I'm too jumpy. If someone walks up behind me and speaks I jump outta my skin, my heart races. They have no idea what that does to me. Some think it's funny & do it on purpose. Some ask why I'm so jumpy. Geez! Only those who have it truly get it.
My former supervisor, great guy honestly I loved working with him. But he had a tendency to enter a room speaking at a volume I would only if I was trying to get someone's attention from the other side of a two-story house. It got me every time. The other week even my partner managed to scare me by simply being in the bedroom. I was cleaning or something meanwhile my partner was in the bedroom bathroom. I was entering and exiting the bedroom once, twice, and then on the third time he was next to the bed without me having heard him leave the bathroom, so naturally I yelled. I'm so freaking jumpy. Strangely I love horror, just so long as it isn't all cheap jump scares.
Yes same here. Any loud noise or when someone walks up to me I startle so easily. People at work found it so funny that they would intentionally do it until I finally had to say something.
Not me. NOBODY can sneak up on me. If there's someone hiding behind something, waiting to jump out, I know it. My 4 sons tried their entire lives to "scare mom" but they couldn't. It has to come from out of the blue. Once, my youngest was in my bathroom, coming into my bedroom. I was coming into my bedroom at the same time. That was the only time one of my sons was able to startle me. Granted, he jumped worse than I did. I am constantly on hypervigilance. I have always been able to sense the other person's presence.
DISSOCIATIVE AMNESIA - YES !!!! This is it for me. I feel like you have just TOTALLY validated me Dr Ramani. I have experienced 22 years of narcissistic abuse from my ex -wife and I try so hard to recall things and I can't. When I was in therapy, I was asked to provide certain examples, and I really struggled. I could remember episodes of rage, projection, blame shifting, denial etc.....but I couldn't remember the actual detail. I just remember the episode and how it made me feel. It made me feel like crap.
I get it, I literally can't remember full YEARS of my childhood...3-5, and 7-10 years old. It's just lost. I can't get it back. Pictures of happy times help, but my memory is severely impacted. My counselor literally taught me how to disassociate with putting these trouble dolls under my pillow after assigning each one a particular worry, and in the morning, the trouble was gone, like my tooth with the tooth fairy. CPTSD is so misunderstood and we need to stop the stigma around mental health.
I tried to tell my sister and I tried to explain to other people when I start to have a panic attack that I suffer from depression and complex PTSD and they act like I’m crazy because I’ve gone through trauma and a lot of trauma. It feeds into our trauma. I have become zipped up completely or if I think someone’s going to listen, I share and then not so infrequently, they freak out and run. This is a very difficult situation to be in. I have lost all my friends and those that I have left, do not understand ptsd or give a shit. I think it’s like most things. Unless you have it experienced it yourself, you can’t relate. I have always tried to be a good listener and I’ve always tried to be generous and kind with my time but honestly, I do not like most people anymore. The further I get away from people, the happier I am
Look up ☝️☝️that handle, he’s got the best tips and helps. I’ve microdosed shrooms for about 6 months now and it has really helped my CPTSD, anxiety and depression and I’ll recommend it for anyone.🙏🏻
I would recommend seeking out a psychologist or counselor. Your friends will not understand if they haven’t been through traumas. Try to find a counsellor you click with. Or it won’t really help. Might take time to find the right one. Good luck. Don’t give up.
You are strong, you are valuable person, your life matters and you deserve better so as other said, you can seek out a therapeutic help or some other professional. Even if there are no other people around for you now, you can still be there for yourself and find a professional and perhaps also some kind of support group, talk group if you know what I mean. Wish you all the best.
I also turned to my sister who was previously a registered mental nurse. She has never agreed so she rang my doctor to say I was drinking at the time. Since then, nobody takes it seriously putting it all down to drinking. This is not true; when it happened to me and I had a total mental breakdown for about two months, the few days drinking was merely a desperate attempt to escape DID and PTSD. Result is my doctor will never believe anything I say.
@@vanwin5415 The doctor should believe you more then others. if he or she does not, then find a different doctor. Your family is not really helpful now but you are strong and you can do it. Also maybe you can find other people to support you outside your family. Some friends for example. Or maybe try to contact some kind of nongovernmental charitable organisation that specializes on people with PTSD or psychic problems or something like this. Just try Google various kinds of help or support for yourself. First it can help to speak with people who believe you and support you and second they may help you find treatment and so on. Wish you all well! :)
Three great books: Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving. Bessel van der Kolk's book The body keeps the score. Heller and LaPierre's book Healing developmental trauma.
@77rankoI haven't finished body keeps the score but CPTSD Surviving to thriving definitely provides a lot of information on healing. I remember because I made notes when reading it. It will be general to an extent because you can't solve everyone's problems from a book, but there are lots of pointers on where to go next after the book to work out your healing. Damaged perceptions are about thinking errors etc. There's a limit to what anything external is gonna do for you anyway. Hope you continue to find answers. Just my two cents. :)
@@jennw6809 They build on Peter Levine's theories I believe. Levine's methods are for ''regular'' PTSD. It's really great. Although I think you should always be cautious with new treatment methods and theories it really opened my eyes.
@77ranko No book and no therapist is going to give you clear directions. The only thing they can do is show you the general direction. You have to do the work and the walking even if you have someone next to you. A hurt mind is not like a broken limb you can heal with a doctor's help. Even the best psychiatrists are mostly working in the dark. Sad but true. All the best to you.
I feel like I have CPTSD. I know Self-Diagnosing is frowned upon; but, I feel like I have CPTSD. I sequester myself in my room and don’t engage with anyone, I constantly have to worry about staying present and not getting distracted by some unknown thing, my dad was horrible to me (He emotionally neglected me and behaved in a way I can only describe as, “Narcissistic”), I feel like I can’t truly relax, I truly feel like I’m a burden to everyone and I don’t share that with anyone, and I have moments where I feel like something horrible’s happening all over again. I can never pin down exactly what happened, but I know it’s bad because it feels like a panic attack
It's not always possible to get an official diagnosis. Some people can't afford it, some don't have access to a qualified professional who knows how to deal with that particular issue, etc. If you feel something fits, learn it, try techniques that are supposed to help with it and see if they work. Even if it turns out to be something else in the end, at least you'll still have some tools that help you manage the symptoms. Although I would still recommend to use "uncertain" terms when you talk to people. In my personal experience, people tend to get their titties in a twist and start gaslighting me if I say "I'm autistic" but keep to light minimising if I say "I highly suspect that I might be autistic", and even less if I say "I have enough traits that fall under diagnostic criteria for Autism that it might be possible". Word fluff keeps you from being attacked.
I’m so sorry, but if it makes you feel less alone and “less pathetic” (that’s how I feel about my trauma sometimes at least), I related to everything you said and I feel the same way. You are not alone!! And Ill pray for you Anthony and everyone on this channel, it breaks my heart so many people had kids, but weren’t parents.. and we were all let down. But things will never be normal but they can get better.
I can certainly relate to your feelings. It could be that there wasn't one big trauma but frequent smaller traumas interacting with a parent who failed you repeatedly.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Does anyone know any good source to get them? I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels, would love to give shrooms a try.
I had the WEIRDEST meltdown with one of my best friends. We share a passion and long history with horses. She was coaching me on her horse one evening when something she did or said triggered an emotional flashback. It was so intense. I was crying, I felt attacked, I felt helpless, and like I suddenly couldn't do anything right. As I cried, I remember my brain doing 3 things. One was to clutch its own pearls, aghast and flummoxed at this sudden reaction. That part of my brain was literally watching this whole thing unfold in shock and confusion. Like what fresh hell is THIS mess? And to WHAT am I reacting? The meltdown continued and felt very familiar. It was like I was 13 again. I became ETREMELY embarrassed. Took weeks and lots of therapy to discover it was an emotional flashback relating directly to my first riding instructor as a child. I rode with her for 7 years. During that time she subjected me to extreme abuse frequently. It is astonishing how these things just hit, like the baseball bat from hell, with no warning or immediately apparent reason.
When I was something like 3-4 years old in kindergarten I was once along with another boy severely beaten by a teacher. I do remember only two shards of scenes. First I vaguely remember what happened before. I remember that me and perhaps then my friend, a dark guy with round face and golden glasses as we were standing along with other children around the piano on which the teacher played. We were singing. I remember we had some fun with my friend during that singing, looking at each other, teasing each other or something like that. The second scene is when coming home. My aunt noticed bruises all over my ass and thighs. I was kind of embarrassed for her to find out, or rather scared although maybe a little bit relief. She reacted very hysterically, yelling about what the teacher has done. Btw if you are interested why I remember my aunt reacting and not my mother, it may be perhaps because she was not the first to spot it and because she did not react as hysterically because she just does not react like that. Tho it was her who later came to the teacher, dealt with it and get me of that kindergarten somewhere else. I also remember that supposed reason for the beating was that we did not sing loud enough or something like we were doing some fuss during that singing. But I don't remember anything else related to that kindergarten. Expect perhaps what the teacher looked like and that it was located in high concrete panel building, maybe even in apartment of such building. (Post-Soviet style building)
Can relate. I went through something traumatic and was reminded of it twice in my early 20s. Shaking, crying, sweating profusely, wanting to run away or curl up into a ball. It made no sense. I was so confused. I know now they were flashbacks to what happened. A real trip was when I could connect every mental health crisis I've ever had to a significant day or event. Couldn't believe it. Reacting around certain times is called an anniversary reaction. I know now to prepare for those times.
Emotional flashbacks are so intense. The uncontrollable crying afterwards and the lack of understanding and disgust/judgement from witnesses is devestating.
Talking about the flashbacks to trauma, I couldn't help myself but have the flashbacks. Memories of what I saw, what I smelled, how I felt in the moments of traumatic sexual abuse...and when Dr. Ramani said "you are safe", I burst into tears as I reminded myself that in this moment I am safe. These memories and body reactions to the memories doesn't mean I'm unsafe in this moment, just residual effects of cptsd rising to the surface again; like jellyfish stinging me. So simple yet so powerful when you feel like you're drowning in flashbacks, the thought of "I am safe in this moment" feels like something floating I can cling to as I spin endlessly in this sea of trauma. Thank you Dr. for the breath of air knowing I am safe in this moment. So powerful 🌊
I recently contacted a hypnotherapist for past childhood trauma, and like my therapists said, it wont work for this? Too many things cause false memory. IDK!
True security is knowing what will happen with surety. You know your eventual outcome. That's why it's so important to know one is born again and going to heaven....which can/should eliminate the fear of death. John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
I was diagnosed with cPTSD but have moved past it, so it's interesting to remember what it was like. Glad I got the proper support, and for anyone experiencing it, it's possible to get beyond it.
@@Cellcell.22 it stays but the ptsd symptoms can absolutely be reduced until minimal through various practices. Best thing you can do is find a good therapist.
@@midnightmystery544 Remember your Trauma is a part of who you are, and what happened is not your fault. On the other hand you are the one who chooses how you let it affect you and others. Good luck moving forward! Turn it into something beautiful. X
I have cPTSD (self diagnosed) from an abusive childhood and early adulthood. I am 66 and it is only now that I realize how much this condition has effected every episode of my life including the present. I am trying to forgive myself for my shortcomings and failures, although I realize much of it was a direct result of the condition.
I’m the exact same. I’m 62. My body has also felt the trauma. I’m chronically ill. I have so much physical and mental pain from all this stuff. I wish us both luck.
Interesting. I was too. I mean i was diagnosed with ADD and then PTSD but she thought I might have also had this all my life, before my traumatic events. So, do they think that CPTSD has characteristics of ADD? I was so bad that people would talk and it was like they were speaking a different language. Kinda like Charlie browns teacher. Thank you.
@@stenobabe1976 what she had told me was that it’s completely possible that I do have adhd but that my cPTSD is magnifying my symptoms. She went on to say they only way to know is to treat the cPTSD first and see if the other symptoms remain. For me, medication and therapy has really helped my symptoms, however I still have the ADHD symptoms but they aren’t as consuming. So, I guess for me I should have an ADHD evaluation now too but I will say treating the cPTSD has changed my life for the better
similar , i went for a bpd diagnosis 2yrs ago & came back with bpd,c-ptsd, mdd ,etc but after 2 years of seeing my physcologist ...my cptsd is very mild or less
I'm so glad that cPTSD is becoming more known and discussed. I am in therapy every week for deep inner child work and treatment for cPTSD. When I disassociate, I tend to go somewhere else for quite some time. Usually it looks like I am "resting my eyes" or staring at a wall. I have no idea that I am doing it, and sometimes don't even know for how long. It's so important that my inner child has her emotional releases in the presence of a safe and empathetic witness on my healing journey. There is hope for cPTSD survivors! The work is uncomfortable and hard but worth it!! Thanks MedCircle and Dr. Ramani.
Look into The Root Cause Protocol. Iron overload is toxic, bio-copper and magnesium are critical, but depleted. Broccoli sprouts cleans toxic iron out of the liver.
I told both my shrink and rheumatologist that I believed my fibromyalgia was a reaction ,as in a histamine type reaction, from outside events that I could not control. Both my shrink and rheumatologist were very impressed and one of them said; you're very astute and insightful. So I agree with you, I think there's something that we hold in our body which it is reacting to,. like when you get stung by a bee and your body fights that by inflammation usually requiring either an epi pen or as simple as benadryl.
@@marianserra8371 Stress depletes bio-copper and magnesium, both of which have been systematically removed from the food system over 100 years time. Metallic iron filings were added to the food supply in 1941, and they drive oxidative stress, which depletes magnesium and bio-copper. This mineral dysregulation eventually dysregulates one's autonomic nervous system, first hyper-sensitizing one's sympathetic nervous system and then crashing it and falling into exhaustion. My comment above addresses how to build back bio-copper and magnesium status so that cells can make energy again and the nervous system has minerals to function again.
@@wellnesspathforme6236 so then intuitively I knew that I didn't need an antidepressant or other psycho Pharmaceutical in order to relieve the pain.? It's difficult to determine unless you're out of situations Banner causing your sympathetic nervous system to go Haywire. In my case it was stress at work and dealing with an addict for a husband. Thank you so much!
Learning that you have been living your life off survival coping skills and being unaware of it, is like going 100mpph and crashing into a brick wall. The symptoms are my life. I thought we all felt this way. Diagnosed with cPTSD and it has changed my life completly. Now that I am aware of it, my memory of trama is haunting me full force. A flood gate has been opened. Im drowning.
You have to ‘go’ through it to ‘grow’ through it. Feel the pain and fear and face it. That’s the only way to heal it. You will come out on the other end…and it’s sooo beautiful on this side-trust me! All the best on your healing journey!✨
I hope you're doing better now. I've been there. It's not fun. Hang on. Find something that you can do that lifts your mind out of it - I started going for walks, and foraging (gave me something to concentrate on while walking, so I didn't get lost in my head). Yours might be music, or a TV show, or painting, or cooking, or anything. It doesn't fix things, but it relieved the pressure of the constant overwhelm for me, if only for half an hour. And it does get better.
Omg the passion she has and her choice of words shows how much she loves helping people who go through traumatic experiences. I got chills with the way she broke down every answer
CPTSD and OSDD 1-A. I am proud of what my brain developed to protect me! I was ashamed of my diagnosis but later learned I am a survivor and my mental conditions helped me survive.
Complex PTSD is something I literally experience every single day, every single waking hour. I get triggered so easily and re-experience the trauma all over again as if it happened yesterday. Once I recognized what I was going through, it took so much from me to process what happened to me so I could make peace with it and to put it behind me. It’s an ongoing process that doesn’t resolve itself overnight.
Absolutely, this is something we may fight for the rest of our life. But the best part is that we are now aware of this before it got waaaaaay on the deep end.
@Candice Elizabeth you should REPORT THOSE POLICE. and know that cptsd and ptsd often 'looks' like personality disorders to unskilled therapists. You know your own truth! And you're definitively not alone.
I have spent my adult life trying to understand what I was feeling, and why. I knew the violence and fear of my childhood had to leave its mark, but I didn't realize it could physically alter my brain. Thank for the insight.
I'm in EMDR therapy to help me process earlier traumas and I'm finding it difficult to identify specific traumas that trigger my cPTSD. I found Dr. Ramani's explanation of dissociative amnesia fascinating, and I wonder if that's what I'm experiencing. cPTSD is awful. And, at 53 years old, I'm finally learning how badly it's impacted my life from childhood until now.
I found that EMDR was only good for specific incidents like a car crash. CPTSD is often a chronic series of traumatic events. For that I found Internal Family Systems therapy and somatic experiencing therapy to be the most helpful forms of therapy. What helped me the most was psychedelics, specifically ayahuasca. But it’s expensive to go on retreats. Having said that, how much do you value your life..
@@GChan129 “how much do you value your life” - what a callous thing to say. It actually sounds like something a high pressure salesman would say. Not everyone has the means to pay for expensive treatments. Not everyone has access to basic counseling or psychiatric medications. Being unable to get treatment because of inability to pay has no bearing on whether a person wants help or not.
My therapist recommended the book "8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery" by Babette Rothschild. Might be useful. I've got traumatic amnesia of some of the traumas I experienced (multiple ones, very different from each other), but not others. For the ones I can't remember (some of which I've been able to piece together from others' accounts because there were other people there). It's like I have memory up to a certain point, then everything goes black. Then later the memories start up again, but the middle part is always just black. Like a TV show that's faded to black for commercials, but there weren't any, it just stays black till it fades back up again. One of the amnesias goes back to when I was 10. I'm 47 now.
I’ve been healing this in myself for years, and I’m still taken aback when memories resurface of situations I had forgotten about & didn’t realize impacted me as much as they did. Trauma leaves its mark. There is no “normal.” You just find what works for you to stay functional and sane. If you’re reading this and still struggling, keep hope alive. Don’t give up on yourself. It WILL get better but not with time alone; you have to make an effort to heal. I promise you will get through this. Better days are coming for you.
I was diagnosed with cptsd since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting cptsd. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Diagnosed in 2018 what a blessing to finally know what was wrong with me. The part about attention and not hearing people, that is one of my most prevelant symptoms but I didn't even realize it until watching this video. If I had a penny for every time I was accused of being arrogant-
Same, the last therapist seemed like I was wasting his time and needed to be someone important (in the spotlight) or abide by his beliefs. I ended up walking out and never went back.
@@bubblegumelectric1 yup. Those types are a dime a dozen. When in fact, people are truly suffering and suffering even more greatly because their perceptions are skewed and they inevitably put people in their lives that reek havoc. My friend, if I could, please learn to meditate. Take 5 minutes out of the morning and meditate. It has cured my night terrors. Best wishes to you always
@light9623 You are not alone. When I struggle to find a qualified psychotherapist, I think of all the others like myself that struggle with this too. 🤍🙂
If you're watching this video and feeling like you're at the end of your rope, please know that you're not alone. It's okay to reach out for help, whether that's through therapy, medication, or just talking to a friend. It can be a long and difficult journey, but there is hope and healing on the other side. Thank you to the creator for sharing their story and shedding light on this important topic.
I cannot express enough how much @Dr.healingstrain mushrooms have changed my life. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for years and have tried countless medications and therapies, but nothing seemed to work. But as soon as I started taking the mushrooms, I immediately noticed a difference in my mood and overall well-being. The anxiety and depression symptoms I once faced on a daily basis have now become manageable. I highly recommend @Dr.healingstrain mushrooms to anyone looking for a natural, effective solution to improve their mental health.
Dr Ramani, I'm 75 years old and have never really understood what has been going on in my life, feeling guilty for not being an integrated personality and for being less than a person. It has affected my study work and relationships. I have been so relieved to hear your discussion as this has not been explained to me very well by the medical profession, especially concerning the amnesia and fragmented memories. There are many people in my situation, and this has helped me put myself in perspective and do the best I can.
Flashbacks for me are not visual re-experiences of the event(s), but an emotional one. The fear, the pain, and the loneliness all converge on me simultaneously when triggered, coupled with the physical responses of Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn. As the symptoms have grown in intensity and frequency, the disorder has completely disabled me. I feel like after 40 years of living through this, I’m simply not capable, anymore, of doing so. But far from acknowledging the incapacity and helping me endure, supporting my recovery, my family doesn’t understand because they can’t see the pain, the fear, the anguish, the shame. I’ve been covering up and making excuses for my behavior because of my trauma for decades. Now, I’m tapped. I just don’t have it in me, anymore. None of the old tricks work, anymore. Instead, many of them have themselves become triggers. I don’t know what my brain and body are trying to tell me, how to figure it out, or how to continue surviving long enough to get help. Of course, all of this is exacerbated by the fact that every aspect of my recovery demands that I take responsibility for the coordination of my care - disability insurance, medical insurance, employer, therapist, psychiatrist, medications, and maintain my normal day-to-day living requirements like eating right, getting enough sleep, personal hygiene, and caring for my family- all of which go by the wayside for days or weeks at a time regardless of how much I want to do them, as quickly as they pop up, they’re buried before the guilt and shame can settle in. I’m in what seems like a semi-permanent state of stasis, an emotional, physical, and mental cocoon. As long as I stay there, I don’t hurt, I’m not drowning in fear. But my wife, insurance and employer are pushing me to get out, while my therapist and psychiatrist are only vaguely consulted and my feelings and desires mean diddly squat. This is exactly the trap I feel most suicides find themselves in: 95% of suicides in America are diagnosed with a mental illness, which means 95% of them were at some point in close proximity with someone who could have helped, but didn’t. Maybe they weren’t open about their needs, revealing about their feelings, willing to expose themselves for the chance at recovery. But I’m the opposite. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, I’m “medically compliant” and I’m open and completely honest with my docs. I’m just not capable of facing the judgment that is implicit in insurance claims, employment, or society. The irony for me is that I’ve seen how my family reacted to death and heard the pleading and bargaining they did afterward and can’t help the realization that they didn’t really mean the things they said they would have done if given the opportunity to intervene. I’m giving them the opportunity. They’re not taking it. Which only makes me feel more worthless than I already do.
I agree with you completely man, nobody gets it, recently been diagnosed with cptsd myself and it makes no difference, everything is a struggle, wish you nothing but the best man, your strong for getting this far, you got this 👍🙏
I’m 39. I was neglected by my mother my entire childhood. Dad was absent. I married someone very young who abused me psychologically and then told people I did to him the exact things he was doing to me. It’s taken a long time to just unfold and understand how fucked up my head is.
I married a man the EXACT SAME. He would beat me then look me in my face and right to my eyes say I did it to myself then go tell others it happened in exact reverse. He also would turn in to me personality wise with other people to the point of using the exact words and phrasing to express things the exact way I did. He took on my likes and hobbies and just ME in general. Out of all the physical emotional verbal and financial abuse…. This way of being so INTENTLY insidious and manipulative at my expense while being “me” to everyone else has damaged me and hurt my heart far deeper and far longer and with more severe repercussions than anything else. I just still cannot believe it. I can’t.
I’m so glad I found her work. Finally, after almost 30 years of life, I’m finally understanding things about myself that never made sense! It’s overwhelming to endure this, feels like I’m extremely behind in life and have lost a lot of relationships. It’s going to be a long road to recovery, but I’m very glad that I’m not the only one. Hope everyone else that’s experienced this improves too!
I feel she has been watching and listening to me. It was hard to stay listening to her. I was going back wards. I have isolated myself so much so no one has to see How messed up I am. I will be replaying this many times
I have cptsd, my main issue is the absolute fear of a intimate relationship. It’s been over 3 years of no dating even. The thought or even in the event of someone trying to get close to me is terrifying. Plus all the other effects of it. I’m diligent and knowledgeable and it still takes control. I work so hard to move past it…,
I do not even know how to start thinking that would ever be a possibility for me. I kind of gave up on the whole idea. Because what they say that if you cannot love yourself you are not capable of loving someone else kind of holds true. Deep down I will always think I am sort of broken or unworthy.
Hi Sueradcliffe, I relate to your comment so much. I am terrified of intimacy. I spent all of my 20's very alone. I'm now in my late 30's and have dated and had intimate relationships but they were very difficult & lasted only a few months. The hardest part is the loneliness. I know rationally/objectively there is nothing wrong with me and I try to remember this when forming relationships with others.
I've been on one date in the last 10 years, and that date was 7 years ago. I don't even have friends anymore. My self-worth dropped into the toilet, with a series of upsetting events around the time of the breakup a decade ago, that seem to have re-traumatized me. And things only got worse from there. I've given up hope of, and effort to, ever having another romantic relationship. I'm 45, and grieving the fact that I won't have kids, and a family of my own. (My biological clock is up.)
i have diagnosed bdp since i was 17 but then shit happened and i developed ptsd and after cptsd but it took me years before i realized it. Since when i know i have it life became a little better.
I wish i could be diagnosed correctly but in my area all the docs are morons who only look for your money and dont know what the heck they're even doing .....
I’m diagnosed with BPD, and I can understand why. I’m not rejecting my diagnosis, however, I feel C-PTSD is more fitting and perhaps more likely the root of all my mental health issues. Alas, C-PTSD is not a formal diagnosis (yet.)
@@nettle8605 just cause they got a nice ce lettering on the walk doesn't mean they're right i went to many different ones and everyone diagnosed differently ..the prob is they either don't get it or never seen that before in other patients...whateeeever
I hate watching these videos, but she describes my entire life in such detail that I find myself listening anyway. I don't think I've ever gotten the help I needed, and never knew that CPTSD even existed. I often thought I was just a cry baby and was using my experiences as a crutch because that's what my family had always told me. Today, I'm homeless and just got laid off yesterday, but it's better than being around my family. Often times I find myself wishing someone would come along and help me, because I don't even know where to look for help.. but I know no one is coming, so I try to skip these and watch motivation compilations instead. I still experience triggers, and still isolate and hid from the general public. Thank you for helping me to understand that what I'm going through is real, and I'm not just being a "tiddy baby".
Sending my love and healing energy to all who have watched this, you all deserve to feel safe in your bodies and validated for your experiences. Giving you all virtual hugs. 💙
I'm so glad you covered this today. This illness is so hard to understand even though you live with it, nothing you ever do feels safe. The worst part is the dissociation, the ruminating thoughts, and fearing that you might take your own life. It's so powerful. You feel like an outsider in everything you do. I'm so grateful for the chance to stay at home and understand this disorder, I thought I was nuts for the longest time. Great work thank you for everything you do to inform us on mental health.
As someone who has C-PTSD and other mental health issues I really appreciate the way she explains how me and many others struggle with C-PTSD. What she said is almost exactly what I deal with daily even with medication and it SUCKS.
Absolutely, that’s a really important thing to note. And because ADHD people have a higher risk for trauma, it is not an uncommon combination. I have both and it’s possible to tell them apart even though there is overlap.
It's kind of funny, I thought I had ADHD for the longest time, started seeing similarities in my kid so took them for a diagnosis. They have inattentive type. I don't have it, but I learned enough about ADHD to discern that what I did have was in fact C-PTSD. So, not for nothing lol.
Check out Melanie Tonia Evans, world expert on narcissistic abuse recovery - going quantum into the body and not the head/mind to release all types of trauma 💗
03:36 My heart goes out to any and all who have suffered with PTSD in any form. It's very misunderstood. Knowing some people who have been diagnosed with CPTSD, the dissociation and the "panic attack" element is one of the most debilitating parts of the issue. Simple, everyday things can become very hard...For example, loud noises that sound similar to gunfire and bombs (so, for example, a pneumatic drill for roadworks, loud fireworks, even action films) can turn a very normal experience for most people into something absolutely terrifying. In the most recent case: war veteran gets almost paralysed by the activation, so her 'freeze' is dissociation, and her 'fear' is panic attacks. 'Fight' responses are anger episodes, for her. But it's a very hard place to be in, and most people just don't understand what is happening when she acts 'strangely', adding further to social isolation and stigmatisation. She's doing quite well, with conscious practice, but the nightmares are one of the hardest things to deal with, for her. Makes it hard to sleep, and function. Feel for her.
I have C-PTSD from being the only child of two narcissists. My memory is horrible so I have to reread things a lot to learn. I have a high IQ but it's very annoying to have to work so hard to retain information. It's one aspect of C-PTSD that bugs me the most. I can be told something then forget it almost immediately. Another thing is the flashbacks that show up anytime. Flashbacks to my mostly mean things said to me by my (high level, diagnosed NPD) mother. She was/is aggressive and I was the target of her wrath for no reason other than to control me. I was a quiet, good kid. She hates me to this day. I find myself hearing her voice and then my telling her "You will NOT hurt me". It's a struggle within me..my years of therapy fighting with playback of old "tapes". Outwardly I look and act calm but inside I'm on high alert, fight or flight. I barely sleep. Meds don't help much. DBT has helped me to some degree..distracting the mind and distress tolerance are good. Therapy is so important..Ive gone all my life, determined to not be like my angry, selfish mom (and dad..who has a good side but it has almost disappeared in old age). I moved out to the country for a slower pace of life/less stimulus to my brain. It has helped but is isolating. Having C-PTSD is hard but I lead a productive life despite it. I think it takes a ton of energy because I get overwhelmed and need to rest quite a bit. It's not fair that narcissists can do these things to their kids then pass judgment as they struggle in life to heal. My mother found my struggles entertaining. I've succeeded in my business despite it all. I'm relentless in making healing and growth happen. We as survivors have to be our own champions when nobody else cares. I use mom's hatred as fuel to prove her wrong..and I have. I just wish it wasn't so damned hard to have inner peace.
@CarolynMcFann we may be kindred spirits. :) I'm an only child to an undiagnosed schizoid/narcissistic personality mother and a sadistic father. I TOTALLY agree that it's unfair they do all this damage and we have to unravel the mess they made to create a livable life. Then, they take the credit, like, "See how well my daughter is doing." We're doing as well as we are despite of the craziness they put us through. Keep on your journey and remember you're stronger than you give yourself credit.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Dr. Ramani saved my life. Once I found her and heard what she had to say, so many things in my life suddenly made complete sense when previously I was so confused about what happened to me.
@@doulalina yes you can literally see her brain working when she talks. So smart. She has such a wealth of knowledge and information constantly cycling through her head.
I have complex-ptsd, major depression, anxiety and ocd. What you're saying is so true. I've been through every kind of abuse you can think of. I struggle so much with my complex ptsd and major depression and anxiety and ocd. It's a daily struggle and interferes with my daily activities. I have nightmares and flashbacks and many triggers. It's not fun or funny. Finally someone who understands what complex ptsd and major depression and anxiety and ocd. Sometimes I go through the day numb and I'm not really mentally and emotionally where I need to be because I'm in a flashbacks or stuck in trauma.
So true... I'm going through this now 😫 worst nightmare in a long time last night due to stress and exhaustion. It's always there waiting to get me when I can't deal with it as well 🫣
I know of counselors who could not see it in patients, but also of medical professionals, who experience it themselves, being able to immediately detect it in patients.
I am clear on memories of the trauma, but in sessions with my therapist when I get emotional or try to share examples of certain things - I go blank. It's so frustrating that I can't recall things. I really wish I could free myself of the issues related to CPTSD...I've held myself back in so many ways just so I could feel safe. Really I'm just paralyzed with fear of living. I truly wonder what I could have accomplished by now.
Well, one HUGE accomplishment to your credit is that you survived! The work you are involved with in YOUR recovery is the greatest work you can do right now. I went back to school to become a child therapist. When my formal education slowed down to an agonizing crawl, due to the overwhelmingly triggering subject matter, I became extremely frustrated and impatient. I wanted to be helping children with their traumas NOT constantly dealing with the awareness of my own! However, that's when I learned that the children I needed to help heal FIRST were the ones I had left trapped in the past, in their never-ending traumatic events. My therapist taught me that THEY are worth our time and attention. I no longer see my younger selves as "traumas to be released" but as children to be rescued from traumatic events, loved, and healed. I haven't integrated all of them yet, but now when I regress to earlier states of mind, I don't get frustrated. I accept it as an opportunity to learn more about the incident being brought to light, and to heal at least one more aspect of it. I am also training my subconscious to know that I am capable of taking care of me. The work we are all engaged in is not for the faint-hearted or feeble-minded. It's HARD work! Give yourself the credit due to you. You totally deserve it.
I've worked to heal CPTSD from years of trauma and highly recommend the book called The Emotion Code. It offers a technique to heal deeply embedded trauma and memories trapped in the psyche and body.
If you're able to maybe you could write some bullet points to talk to with your therapist. I keep a journal between sessions , and if something keeps coming up I'll note it down so I'm not trying to remember In the session. You didn't hold yourself back, you went through something awful and you did the best you could, not someone else's best, your best (and even our bests vary from day to day...some days my best is full work day and seeing a friend, some days my best is showering) . You're seeing a therapist too. Keep going xx
Each time I hear a topic discussed by Dr. Ramani, I come away with a far clearer understanding of the subject matter. She breaks things down splendidly and educates extremely effectively. So thrilled to have discovered these talks.
I was diagnosed with CPTSD almost 3 years ago now. My partner tells me about my night terrors that happen pretty much every night, because of my trauma. I would love to talk with this Dr. If I could afford her she seems great, just like my old therapist.
She has her own YT channel focusing on dealing with Narcissistic abuse (one of the best on YT, imho), and there's some contact information in the About section. No one would charge you for asking... ua-cam.com/users/DoctorRamani
Lincoln, recently~recently & now acknowledging, I decided to educate my awareness of 25-7 yrs of separate diagnoses. My intention is to understand thru talk therapy. I've never had a decent therapist, or in some instances, I was not a decent client or patient. Hmm, I should probably set a timeline to commit to... Anyway, I'm honestly sorry for your suffering. IDK if you have or had a therapist, keep looking or tell them what you need =)
@@dutchgala826 thanks. Im great! Was in therapy for 3 years with a great person very calm therapist. Unfortunately I’m not in my home country as I’ve moved, so will be looking in the current location I’m at. We did talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy. I did agree to starting EMDR but I ended up moving.
Not everyone with c-ptsd experiences dissociative amnesia or visual flashbacks, sometimes flashbacks are purely emotional with no memory attached. The book by van Der Kolk, “The Body Keeps the Score” has more detailed information regarding the cognitive and physiological affects of trauma.
it is incredible how many people suffer with mental illness & how very little help is available. Dr.Ramini,med circle & Dr. Les Carter's online free content have given me hope again, thank you all for sharing your professional hard earned education with anyone seeking to overcome mental illness.
I remember actual traumatic events, but I have huge chunks of memory that are completely "gone" for up to a year or more after the event. I remember my father leaving us when I was 3 and my brother being born very very ill. I remember him being back and there being holes in walls and fights and fear, but memories of the good things are much harder to access. I remember the two and a half years of sexual abuse, some of the memories so vivid I can recall in great detail, but I have very little memory of school or teachers or friends during those years. In the 2000's decade, my family went through a string of deaths, beginning with my step grandmother and my sister in law, then my mother and my step grandfather two months later (who died in the same hospital room in Atlanta that my mother had been in before her surgery that she didn't recover from), several other family members I'd been close to as a child, and finally my brother and my beloved Granddaddy within months of each other and later that year, my biological father (my abuser) was released from prison. I have a gap of about a year after Mama's death and then very little memory for at least a year after my brother's death. I hate this because in my extreme grief and pain, I neglected my children emotionally and said and did things that hurt them (I was suicidal). I've apologized to them for anything they've brought up that I said or did because I do believe it happened and I hate that I became so emotionally and mentally unstable that I hurt them and contributed to their trauma. I've never understood why I couldn't block out the actual traumatic events....I wish those memories weren't the only ones or prominent ones I have of childhood and of raising my children. I wish I could block the bad ones and remember the good ones. Every other survivor of childhood abuse that I know has either no memory loss or blocked the traumatic event. Am I abnormal in this?
My best friend and I have discussed how we both have huge parts missing from our childhood, we both grew up with our own sets of trauma and I figured me forgetting it was just part of coping. I wish I could remember the way other people do though
Absolutely not. I'm like you. It happened to me and my sister. She doesn't remember or maybe acts as if nothing happened. She loves our abuser deeply. She remembers more about our childhood than I do. I mostly remember the bad things. But I don't remember how it felt or how I felt. I just remember what happened. I don't even remember what I thought. It's really weird like remembering a movie as if it didn't happen to me. I think that's dissociation.
I remeber all my traumatic events, but I miss big chunks of time around those traumatic events. I miss chunks of my children's early years, they remeber but I dont. I think you are normal. I think our brains work in our favor always
Ah yes, Cptsd. My time to shine ✨ I am someone who has very very little memory from the past five years along with childhood. My amnesia tends to linger in everyday situations as well. I’ll ask a question or talk about a topic repeatedly forgetting I even asked it already. Not fun but it definitely makes rewatching my favorite movies and tv shows like it’s the first time HAHAHHAA
@@amyeliza452 Theres positives in there! I tend to look at it like a superpower. My mind protecting my heart. There’s some kinks to work out but there’s some things in there that’s fun. Like reliving the spark of passion when I talk about the same thing or as I said watching movies I have no memory of watching even if I did! Much love to you
Jay - I like your take on things. I have almost no memories of childhood and into teen years. I always thought i just didn't have a good memory system. Then, a person from my childhood will tell a story and i'm like, "And then what did i do?" I thought someone telling a story i was in would spark a memory but no. It's still like they are talking about someone else. Then i joined the Army. Bad move. Getting sober helped; not with the memories from before, but helped me stop piling on more trauma.
Absolutely true! Thank God I sought help & decided I deserved better. I still struggle however I now have a full toolbox to move through it. I finally found a true trauma therapist who helped me move into & through it. I’m 66 and know there is hope.
Im glad you mentioned the amnesia component of trauma. I endured years of it perpetrated by multiple families over 12 years as I was growing up. For the life of me I have tried to remember my childhood, the good stuff especially but its just vague, but now at almost 56, Im getting flashbacks of such clarity of memories, smells, texture, COLOUR and location...its fleeting but wonderful. Im also scared that the 'other stuff' may surface as well. My Mum died of dementia. She too was a survivor. Ive wanted to remember ALL of it mentally now that Im older, but I do know I had a mental breakdown at 20 yrs when I tried to do that as well, it became 3 weeks of psychotic in symptomology and terrified me. Ive never ventured back into that part of me again yet know Im not whole until all of this is fully known and recognised in me. I dont want to pass without the truth of knowing and loving my true self, my being and all the I endured and stayed a good person. I know I will give her a standing ovation at the end. lol : )
you don't need to remember what happened to you to connect with your inner child. get to know her, find out what she needs to feel safe and then give it to her/yourself.
@@shugabiatch You know what. That is the best advice. I know the endurance is there above the pain. That is my truth now. Revisiting ground zero does nothing but cause more distress. Embrace the healing. Stand firm and be proud. : )
This is my reality. I've been told it lately that it seems I'm not focused, always distracted or somewhere else. I've been told I'm distant. Starting the journey of healing from childhood emotional neglect. A lot of what's mentioned rings true to me. There's hope. There's always hope.
I have c-ptsd and dissociated while watching this 😂 I’ve been trying so hard to practice mindfulness but I feel like I dissociate while I do it a lot of the time. I’m trying !!
The definition of me. Though sad, it certainly gives me some sort of self. Sad, but atleast I am aware I exist with others who exist. Now if only we felt more than existence 😪 but to feel not alone..... gee...it helps a lot.
I had advanced testicular cancer that required a major surgery and aggressive chemotherapy. My scar is gnarly (over 18 inches) and they took a saw to my rib cage. I feel the discomfort everyday from the surgery and I start to relive the terrible hospital experiences I had years ago. Thanks for sharing the video. The more informed we are the better we can care for those that need support and love.
She explains everything so good & clearly. It shows how she understands her field & her patients. She reminds me of my own Dr... Solid, patient, understanding, knowledgeable, compassionate & willing to learn. It's sad that half the medicine field is filled with just text book smart professionals. True knowledge & healing power in medicine have deep roots in compassion & willingness to understand other human's pains.
I was molested as a child by my father and enter one abusive relationship after another . The last one was very traumatizing . Can’t hold a job for long because of my anxiety ! I’m about to be homeless ! Is there any help out there? .
Just know you are loved ❤️ I hear you, I understand you. It's going to be okay. Take deep breaths through your nose, in and out. Find your center. You'll make it through this I believe in you!✊🏼
I would suggest a GoFundMe or something like that were people can help give you money for you struggling. That’s all I can think of. I wish you the best of luck!!
diagnosed w/ ptsd, depression, adhd. I've felt that when I think about complex concepts, when I am trying to pull the ideas all together, I just can't think. I start feeling confused and I lose my place, so to speak. Anybody else have that? I think it's really held me back. I just go fuzzy. I am bright enough otherwise....
I was diagnosed with c-ptsd. I never thought I could have that, since I always heard veterans are the ones who can get diagnosed with ptsd. I never viewed my life as being so traumatic, that I would get diagnosed with this disorder. But then in therapy, I was able to open up more. I grew up in a very toxic household. It was my parents, my grandparents, and my brother living in a 2 story house. But we were always together. My drug addict uncle lived with us shortly as well. There was a lot of mental illness going on. Many in my family refuse to acknowledge it. My mom def has adhd, and she has narcissistic tendencies. She made me very enmeshed with her. It’s believed that my dad most likely had adhd as well, and he’s very narcissistic. He would get mad at my mom when we were younger and not speak to her for 2 weeks at a time. And then I was put in the middle and had to go back and forth relying what each parent had to say to one another. My grandpa most likely had adhd as well. He was a hoarder, and a very mean man. He was always putting me down, and could be very violent. But I have a a lot of respect for him, because he really provided for us. As he got older, we grew closer. But it was tough growing up with him. You were always working on egg shells around him. One time he walked in on me showering, with a knife in his hand, because I was taking too long in there. He was so cheap! Now my grandma… this lady was not all there. I love her dearly, but she was the craziest! After speaking to my therapist, she most likely was a narcissist, and most likely had bipolar or borderline personality disorder. You NEVER knew what mood she was going to be in. One minute she would love you, and then the next, you were the worst person in the world! It was sooo draining being around her. But what made it worse, was that she was so giving. It was like she would try to buy your love with money and gifts. She was very manipulative! I’m sorta angry at her, because she made my mom be enmeshed with her, and now my mom expects it from me. And I don’t want that life style. But I see the potential my mom has, but my mom is so stuck in her ways now. And I see her acting like my grandma the older she gets. None of them ever hit me though, so you wouldn’t think there was abuse. But there was a crap ton of mental abuse. My poor uncle, I feel was a victim of the abuse as well, and turned to drugs and drinking to cope. He passed away 20 years ago now, and it’s so sad that I wasn’t old enough to understand what was going on. I often wonder if I was older, if I could’ve maybe helped him out, but I try not to dwell. Then when I was around 16/17, flashbacks came back to me of me being molested. I went through a horrible depression during that time. I couldn’t leave the house and just wanted to unalive myself. It was so hard for me to talk to anyone about it, but I finally told my mom and told her I needed to speak to a therapist (something she was always against). She agreed to finding me one, and I started going. She was awful! But she got me to get out of the house. Then all my autoimmune issues came to the surface and doctors couldn’t figure out what my condition was until about 2 years ago. So I suffered greatly for over 10 years with pain. During that time I met my mentally and emotionally abusive ex. I stayed with him for 7 years, which made my depression worse. I also ballooned up to 350 lbs trying to eat my feelings. He started getting physical towards the end, and then I found out he was cheating on me when I decided to go through his phone one night when he fell asleep with it in his hands. He was always weird about me touching his phone, and even put a passcode and wouldn’t let me know what it was. That caused me to be very suspicious. My suspicions were right, because he was on tinder talking to girls and doing god knows what else! After we broke up, I found out he was seeing a girl from his job. Which made me think he was most likely speaking to this girl while we were together. But I’m glad I found out everything, because it gave me the motivation to finally leave him. I immediately started therapy after everything, and while my therapist can’t confirm if my ex was a narcissist or not, because she would have to speak to him herself. She did say he sounds very narcissistic. I also suspect bipolar, since almost every male in his family has it. He was so nice to me in the beginning, and then it was like something in his brain just snapped! It was like I never knew him at all! But I’m doing better now. I’m in therapy, I lost 160 lbs, I found out my diagnoses for my medical issues, I feel way more confident about myself, I’m on a special diet for my medical conditions, which help a lot with my pain. I actually got diagnosed with adhd as well during this past summer. I always suffered in school growing up. I could never focus. Maybe it’s always just been cptsd? But my medication does help me when I take it, so who knows. And I’m way more confident in my skin now. I’ve realized that everything that’s happened to me was not my fault. I’m not unworthy, I’m not ugly, I’m not bad etc. There’s nothing wrong with me. I was just given a not so great hand at life. But I have the choice to turn all that around, and I think I’m slowly getting there!❤️
Cptsd and adhd can have similar symptoms sometimes, but just because some symptoms are the sane, that doesn't mean the symptom stems from the same place at the same time. I think having adhd and having cptsd is tough because of that. But if your medications are working, I'm very happy for you.
Know you are loved with an everlasting love from our Heavenly Father YAH Most High. May you receive all the help and healing you may desire. My heart goes out to you, and thank you for courageously sharing this with us.
This explains alot for me. I love how thorough and knowledgable she is with these disorders, because it helps alot of folk understand others and themselves when they have no explanation. Big thank you.
I lost my memory of everyone and everything 29 years ago due to years of trauma and other events and still have holes in it. Dr Ramani is right about how it only takes a trigger of some form to reignite the trauma and associated pain again and in some cases to totally relive the event/s all over. It also doesn't help when you have narcissists in your life causing the triggers. I do a lot of journaling when this happens just to keep my sanity and deal with the effects these traumas have had on me throughout my life. I'm learning more than I ever bargained for but now have a much clearer understanding about so many people and things
I have ADHD, as well as CPTSD. So that’s super fun. Adhd runs in my family on both sides and all my kids have it, so I’m not just mistaking one for the other. I’ve been diagnosed with both, by more than one doctor.
The most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with is experiencing the feelings from past traumas. It wasn’t so much the memories that were triggered, it was that rush of emotion and fear and instant want - NEED - to react and protect myself. In 2015 I found EMDR. It was the ABSOLUTE BEST therapy of my life! Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to get into any therapy for a few years, however, my brain has been trained and I’m able to use all I’ve learned. My life is so SO much better now.
Get UNLIMITED videos with Dr. Ramani! Start your MedCircle trial by clicking here: bit.ly/3gRGiUM
Is there ever ways to be tested by your teams for treatment plans? And to help find specific Dra in our areas? I’m 44 and finally coming to terms with my transracial adoption at birth, to a narcissistic mother whom only wanted a girl. I was physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, racially, religiously, and at times medically abused. I just met my bio mother 8 months ago and it ended horribly. I’ve been in therapy for years, but literally feel helpless, hopeless, and stuck living the same cycle, yet peeling back more and more layers of trauma. My med Dr. just tries to get me to smile and sleep, even through painful tears crying out for help she gave me a 3rd antidepressant. My therapist is young and I honestly feel what I’m bringing to her table she’s not equipped for. Why is mental health so difficult 😞
How can I have you as my psychiatrist? K have CPTSD and I haven’t been able to find a great trauma expert to care and help me. How can I have you as my Theraphist?
@@DezaRay24 I know I don't know you but you are loved and so important. You didn't deserve any of what you had to endure. I'd love to know if it's not too Intrusive for you, of course, If you've found the help and healing you were seeking? If you see this or for anyone who does you aren't alone.
You talk about dissociative amnesia being part of PTSD, but what is it called when people can recall almost EVERYTHING about the trauma including the sounds, sights, smells, emotions etc? (Sorry if you mentioned this in the video, I didn't catch it)
❤️❤️❤️Dr. Ramani, I am SOOO Grateful to have found You! Thank You, for your ability to Help So Many of the Survivors of Narcissist Traumas, & the ones on the journey to Betterment!
CPTSD has made me view everything as if it were my fault. If someone is having a bad day, is upset, angry at me, or sad, I feel that somehow I am to blame, even though that is not true. It's hell on earth.
@77ranko I'm recovering from that whole roller coaster including narcissistic abuse. At times I wonder how being a normal person feels like because living with Cptsd is exhausting and draining😓
Xoxo
Right there with you
I feel this deeply. I do the same.
Yes.😞
I was diagnosed with Adhd twice. Turned out it was CPTSD. Changed my diet, started exercising, journaled obsessively, picked up meditation, read a lot of books, watched a ton of videos, took courses, ate a few psychedelics, went to therapy and worked with a life coach.
It took a few years but I'm doing great now.
My advice to anyone suffering with this is TRY EVERYTHING. Don't stop. Keep going. It absolutely can get better.
Did you suffer from anxiety or depression due to CPTSD or just ADHD?
Great 👍
@@louiserhodes5229 D... all of the above. I was a sad worried person who couldn't focus, addicted to weed, junk food and television, drank heavy, a ton of dissociative amnesia and was always dysregulated.
I still have tiny triggers here and there and struggle a bit with attachment issues, but it's slowly getting worked out. I'm really doing great otherwise and this has been for a couple years now.
I wish I could talk to someone like a councillor but just no help unless wait for years on a list.
@@grunge_surf_witch_uk9130 im studying to be a counselor and i know theyre expensive..i plan to work some pro bono when i graduate..try online help if you can while u wait on the list....and if you're not on the list make sure you are, its worth it to try!
When she said," I'm here, you're safe" a tear fell.. All I want is to feel safe.
I know what you mean..
I miss being held. Not feeling trapped, not feeling threatened and hyper aware. Just to be held and feel NOTHING but safe.....
I DON'T let humans near. I live in an isolated life in an isolated area and rely on my dogs. They are my pack and to date, have never hurt me....
Same!
I also constantly crave just being held and feeling completely safe
I understand completely. it seems no matter what I do I feel so broken
I am diagnosed with CPTSD not from terrible physical or verbal trauma but from what some call a "tricky" family. I lived my childhood with an emotionally unsafe and moody mom, an absent, busy, or tired dad, a moody and bullying (but sometimes protective) older sibling. The damage in a family like this is equally debilitating but super hard to unpack because no overt crossing of lines took place and adults looking from the outside tell you it's all fine. No teachers step in. Neighbors don't see the moods. There is no mandatory reporting for a child who is just consistently on the back burner until someone feels like or has the time to do otherwise. When emotional health and personal agency is compromised so thoroughly the damage runs deep. I'd appreciate seeing this addressed on this channel as well as the overt physical and verbal abuses.
Thanks for sharing - I know what you mean.
Hello I was emotionally neglected by my parents growing up. I can relate to the things you mentioned. Mg mother was verbally abusive, my dad is a narcissist. At the time I did not realize until adulthood that is one. He also allowed my siblings and I to watch porn when we were little also.
We share the exact background! But sadly I also had no one to turn to, got bullied massively by children and 'friends' abandoned me or also became bullies out of nowhere. I wish you the best 🖤
I can relate
Me too. Then having two abusive husbands
It's horrifying when you cannot recall details or main events of the trauma to even defend yourself when people paint you as an awful person. This happens so much in severe sexual abuse, being held captive, and drugged, and when you finally escape and find your way home, it is the victim's reputation that gets destroyed instead of the real perpetrators and the callous people who keep the lie alive. It is not the trauma that destroys us, but the lack of empathy, indifference and pure evil of those you know.
@Alvina Pemberton There is always the self defense alternative.
@Alvina Pemberton same happened to my friend - police doesn't believe her and other people like a commenter above. Her husband has no job for 12 years, she makes very good money herself, so no wealthy cover up and still no one would protect her. I was helping her to get away while others would blame her and not him. She was paying a lot of spousal support to him while he would not leave the house. She had to leave her house and live in the shelter for a few months while paying all expenses and he's living in the house. Then miracle happened and one judge turned everything into her protection and favour. She's still afraid of her ex. And police has to follow the judge's order but they still don't believe her.
So please don't listen to anyone who saying that there are other ways to deal with the situation. You have done everything right in the circumstances. Let God take care of those who did not help you. Hugs and all the best! You deserve to be happy 💕 P.S. my friend's name is Alina almost like yours 🤩
@Alvina Pemberton your story sounds like a horror movie but it is your real life. Sending prayers that you can find peace and move on. Just remember that you have done everything right. You are not responsible for your ex behavior. You have done your best 💖
When you can't remember anything following for a few months. I'm missing huge chunks of my life. I simply don't remember.
Yep. I don’t think people understand just how far down you push down these memories and events to make sure that they don’t accidentally slip, that when you try to say them, they’re stuck in a place where you can’t even remember them. Police officers are the worst examples of having a complete lack of understanding about how trauma works.
So many poor people around the world damaged by there parents. God bless all narcissist survivors. We are the best 🇮🇪
Yes those taking the change to repair and understand and heal it all are those who will break the generational curse and sucks how sometimes in the first discovery of what a narcasissist is and does and how you feel like you're the narc but setting up therapy im nervous and scared but im hoping to understand and undo trauma and fix it so i can try to not pass it to my kids
cPTSD has nothing to do with narcissistic parents. It's derived from ongoing sexual and physical abuse (long term and undiscovered by anyone) during early childhood and by close family members. Pls do not mix this.
@@BrigitteGoodman false. It can just as much arise from emotional abuse and neglect.
@@BrigitteGoodman your spitting hairs is incorrect, I am 63 years old family scapegoat and I beg too differ
@@BrigitteGoodman maybe educate yourself more about it next before you go around telling people what it is. By your definition mine doesn't exist nor is important but I was diagnosed by a an actual psychologist who got their doctorate studying about a topic on it but thanks for your input ha ha ha
I absolutely appreciate how Dr. Ramani states our bodies hold memories too.
Check out Bessel van der Kolk's work then! 👍
If you like reading, I would suggest to you "The body keeps the score".
@@lulumoon6942 that guy got fired from his own trauma center for harassing employees.
Read Dr. Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies. She pioneered the mind body trauma concept.
@@mychannelafc She sure did, got into her decades ago, first for me was Drama of the Gifted Child. Her work has helped many worldwide!
And it comes out during a massage sometimes when they are working a tense spot people may just start talking about a trauma.
I’m in my early 50s and my childhood trauma is bubbling to the surface. I’m watching a lot of stuff on UA-cam trying to make sense of how I’m feeling. It’s really tough atm, I’m crying at different points during the day almost everyday, but I think this is part of the healing process (at least I hope so)
Yes, crying is part of the healing process. It is normal.
~hug~ I get it. Nothing else I can say, but I get it.
Best of luck. I’m going through this at 50 as well
Please find a good therapist to help guide you through your healing process
Im not sure if i understand correctly, Only now in your 50s its all showing up?
Everyone tells me I’m so tough and brave to have survived and endured having a very traumatic childhood and physically/emotionally abusive marriage. I’m not strong inside, it just looks like I am from outside.
I’m wrecked with sadness. I’m angry that therapy has cost me thousands of dollars to keep my mind sane all because my parents abandoned me and knowingly left me in a abusive home.
I stopped being able to picture my life at 15 because in my mind I didn’t think I’d live beyond that.
Melinda,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!
I am so sorry. People will belittle your experiences and trauma, but you have to believe in yourself. You are the experienced one in trauma, not them.
Melinda I love you so very much. You matter so much to this world. You lived past 15 even when you thought you wouldn’t. isn’t that a miracle? The light would shine on your darkness soon and all your sadness will vanish
Pray very often.
You know what I tell them when they say that? Facts! I don't sugar coat it. I tell them like it is.
I tell them, helllllll no I'm not tough, lol. I cry every other night and get triggers on the constant.
What gets me frustrated is that people have this "perfect" facade. But then you talk to people and realize that the person who makes those comments is in the same shit as you. But here's the thing....nobody TALKS to anybody anymore. It's all social media. So we don't communicate and connect as human beings anymore.
Try meditation therapy almost never works they only care about the money not the person.
My family all called me a “space cadet” my whole life, but it was just brain damage from trauma.
I'll be a space cadet, better to be that than sad and feeling incompetent...
Now that's a feel
Sorry hope you heal and become stronger in strength
❤❤
I remember the older you get the dumber you get more than once. Running down the basement stairs only to have a rolling pin whizz past my head and hit the wall in front of me. Coming home late and being greeted with a metal spoon to the head. This was done by my mother and there's more......
One of the most devastating parts of CPTSD is the depth of the distortions about myself. I appreciate when she said that those distortions extend to other aspects of life separate from the trauma. Very true in my experience. I feel like CPTSD makes you forget how to respect yourself. You don’t see your strengths or worth. You only see your weaknesses and vulnerability. And that’s paralyzing and not a place anyone should operate in. You can and deserve to love and respect yourself. And because of the lessons you learn during the healing process, you may even find that they deeply help someone else’s situation, even if it’s different. Hold onto hope.
Thank you. 💯🙏🏽🌍💝
Oh, wow! I was diagnosed with PTSD (before I ever heard the term, “CPTSD”)…not sure if there’s a difference. I knew it wasn’t just low self-esteem! I never knew it could affect that before, but it makes total sense now. I was severely abused for years, including physically, by the husband I married straight out of an abusive home. I was used to paying 100% of my attention to what my abuser wanted and needed, because he would hurt me if I didn’t guess correctly. After I got out, it took a lot of treatment to feel (or even comprehend) that I had preferences, needs, and rights in any situation, which deserved consideration. That’s why, I learned, it’s important to take time to heal, rather than starting a new relationship right away or even making important decisions. I would just do whatever I thought others wanted, without thinking of myself. My boss once said, “You are still being abused.” In reality, my new partner wasn’t trying to harm me, and was frustrated that I wouldn’t assert myself. I didn’t realize I had that right, or that I even had feelings to consider. Of course, that relationship didn’t last. I got into a third relationship and remarried, before seeking treatment. We ended up separated before I learned it was my right AND my responsibility to express needs, respect my basic boundaries, and set limits. I eventually realized my first husband would have hurt me, whether I did what he wanted or not. He had admitted to being, “in love with violence.” That’s literally what he said. I still had to leave, even though he had become more self aware, because he wouldn’t seek professional help. Because of this, his behavior didn’t change significantly. I hope everyone who is abused knows they are not causing it to happen by doing anything wrong. People have to tell you what they want, not make you guess. I didn’t “let him walk all over me.” I had to disassociate from my feelings to survive. I’m so glad I got myself back! I’m trying to repair my relationship with my 2nd husband, and we are both so much happier now that I know who I am, and that I matter. You really do have to love yourself before you can love a partner.
Thank-you❤
❤
These are Children that are being affected. It's a distortion that started in me from years ago? Well i didnt want to try to run away again. But I'm in an area where people keep passing me by. Why?
I’ve had someone tell me that, “it’s not happening anymore, you’re here, you’re not in it anymore.” And we really do need to hear that.
So would "I'm here, your safe" have helped better..?
Only if it's true.
I’ve had that used against me. “What’s the big deal? It was (insert number) years ago, it’s gone now.” It’s interesting how different people react to trauma-both experiencing it themselves and watching others try to deal with it.
❤
I, too, have heard messages like that attached to mockery and diminishment. I tell myself that now, in a compassionate validating way and it helps, but having others come and disregard the past and it's effects with this message has furthered the trauma...
Dr Ramani, this is very helpful. I've ascribed my consistent failure to "get things done" as a character flaw, e.g. I'm lazy, disorganized, a procrastinator, etc. The idea that the consequences of C-PTSD include "disruptions in attention and concentration" is staggering to me. This revelation is like a bombshell. Thank you so much!
I literally felt the same way watching this!! I was wracking my brain as to why I can’t focus and get things done. This was such an eye opener!
Wishing you good luck in your recover!
@@OMGitsShrimp Thank you, and I heartily wish the same to you. I am going to repeat this breakthrough as a sort of mantra when I find myself in lazy/procrastinator/disorganized mode. Fingers crossed!
Amen. Conventional therapies don't work. I'm 72, suffered from this disorder all my life. Told forget all that. Constant memories torment me. Flashbacks are totally disastrous. I'll just live with it, therapy is too expensive.
@@johnfoster3089 I felt like this when i was younger. Im middle aged now. Despite therapy and meds nothing's changed, i can't break free.
This is a tad morbid for a youtube comment section but my question is, why should i hold on until i'm 72 or older? What's kept you here?
I found this out a few years ago, but it's really important. What I thought was laziness, procrastination and demotivation all my life, was actually low-grade dissociation. Dissociation is now seen as a spectrum, not just multiple personalities. Thank you for getting this info out there.
Blaming themselves - when a person who is abused finally confides in someone, many many clueless people will say "so what did you do, to deserve" ...whatever aggressive behavior is being described. These clueless people refuse to accept the existence of evil done by other people, the deny that emotional abuse exists, etc.... so the target of abuse gets little support.
Sadly I've seen from experience that those people usually are that way because that's what they were taught. For example. When my mom was with my father 25 years ago and my father would physically abuse her, my grandmother(dad's mom) would ask my mom what she said to set my father off. But just a couple of months ago I was having a conversation with the same grandmother about how abusive my grandfather was to her, and how his mother would say the same to my grandmother. Instantly I saw the intergenerational trauma laid out before me.
So true. My mom has said on one or more occasions that assault is correlated to what women wear like shorts skirts. It took me decades to finally tell her what happened to me when I was a young girl when my brother molested me. One day I told her you can wear hand me down clothes and baggy jeans like I did and still get molested by a family member. Unbelievable. And this from a woman who doesn’t remember several years from her own childhood.
What you say is 100% true.
Totally agree. Just like people who had an abusive childhood. Some runaway to flee a harmful situation only to end up in other harmful situations. It's a lot easier for certain people to compartmentalize their past than it is for others. Some individuals spiral unintentionally. An abusive relationship, drugs, alcohol, or homelessness. It's easier to blame someone for the situation they're in rather than ask how they got there in the first place. Some people are actually victims of their circumstances.
In a society rampant in narcissism, it's not surprising malignant narcissist 45 has a huge following.
CPTSD is no joke and get's commonly misdiagnosed as ADHD due to brain fog, dissasosiation caused from flashbacks, and concentration issues that come with it - it is difficult things to overcome CPTSD since it is caused by complex ongoing trauma(s) but it is def doable to overcome it. Mine was caused by an emotionally abusive mother and physically and verbally abusive father and then two back to back abusive employers/ workplace.
As someone overcoming it try everything and hit it with everything you've got: trauma therapy, EMDR, bodywork, yoga, exercise, changing your diet (with the guidance of a dietian), getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night, having healthy social connections and being in good healthy enviroments as much as you possibly can (get away and stay away from toxic people), getting a pet and spending frequent time in nature.
I like what you say about toxic people. One of my intrusive thoughts is of a wound being opened when around irritating and overwhelming people.
You avoid them for so long, then they start to slip into your space for unknown reasons.
That's really interesting. I was diagnosed with ADHD and now I'm searching for a specialist in C-PTSD because I'm fairly sure my childhood, and into middle age, (with an alcoholic father) is a trauma that has affected my life.
Bitch im poor, im happy if I can treat myself to a burger let alone a dedicated asshole to tell be what to eat, yoga classes and a therapist thats gonna have to take like 20+ hours to just get starded going through the bulletpoints and "standout" events. I can "fight back" in like 15 years if I do exeptionally and become not a sad sack of shit😂
Exactly! I had trauma by abuse and bullying from my parents, schools,works, and family members bullying on me when I was mistaken, then put me down.... I had lots of bad headaches and pressure and think about suicide a few times, but my sons support me.
ty
I appreciated how compassionate and non-pathologizing she was. Also how accurate the information was as well. CPTSD is rough, and it can be retraumatizing when people misinterpret your dissociative symptoms and reactions to flashbacks as you being intentionally difficult or immature or whatever, and then treat you badly on the basis of that. We just want to experience safe connections with other people, but when you reject us because of our trauma symptoms, we lose out on the opportunity to experience healthy relationships that would be healing for us.
Just about ruined my chances with an entire new friend group because of this.
Safe connections, well said!
It goes both ways, and if we use our “healthy brain body double” I also struggle with understanding why a healthy person would want to form safe connections with someone who is unsafe within themselves? Wouldn’t that be harm seeking (codependency if a bond is not forged conscientiously with great individual autonomy… any thoughts guys??
Yeah they want us to explain the trauma like a cold rock whos also perfectly put together they want zero emotion zero anger zero sadness and often they want zero blame outside ourselves as well as seeing ourselves as capable idk impossible expectations really its hard to describe. Empathy and understanding and listening is essential on their part yet they dont even have the attention span to listen fully for long enough, let alone near understanding , and 95% of the time not being the empathy or kindness we need after revealing about it
Scholarly/ spot-on explanation ❤
"a distracting pull" - that resonates really strongly.
Yes.
+:1::8::1::8::8::5::1::7::5::3::3:whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here🌀
Yes for me its the feeling that you're somehow not alive but still alive and how it feels so natural... The self hatred for simply existing and being a flawed peice, undeserving of any kindness or human decency.. woah that got negative so soon. This video was very insightful for me.
I’ve been through trauma most of my life. It was layered after so many events. Adrenaline fatigue is all I know in my days of healing. I’m still so young but with Cptsd it feels like life is over. I’m not giving up. I know one day I’ll feel peace
I’m 29 and I feel like my life is ending, too. The important thing is that we know better, and we can remind ourselves of that. Even if we don’t always believe it
I'm in my 50s and I didn't think I'd live past 30. As a woman, becoming "invisible" to men after the menopause is quite a relief. As you learn to love yourself, you become like the Velveteen Rabbit after the years go by - your outside may be worn, and that doesn't matter because you're still loved. If you haven't read the Velveteen Rabbit, it's worth a read.
Exactly, getting wounds is easy but bealing takes time.
I sure hope you're doing a bit better I'm rooting for you!
I can relate to you! 27 and still hanging in there. I am rooting for you 🫶🏾
I remember telling someone I was abused and when they asked me how I couldn't even name one event. I had been traumatized and severely abused for YEARS without any recollection. I finally recorded our interactions and upon replaying them it solidified what happened to me. I always questioned, and still do, whether it was me or not because recollection of events is hard. I now understand I have disossociative amnesia. The good thing is I am able to recall events upon reading others'. Unfortunately it came crashing down and I've been replaying traumatic events so much so during this pandemic and also realized I have cptsd. I've had nightmares till my 30s and have had depression. I didn't know it was from all the trauma. Education has helped me know it wasn't something I was born with. I was severely abused, traumatized and neglected my whole life.
I was in the middle of jury selection, listening to the stories of other potential jurors, when my own memories started flooding in. The judge sent me back to the jury pool, but when I got there the clerk said that the judge has excused me completely. I had to call my therapist and use some of my tools, just to be able to get myself out to my car to go home. My dog was in my car waiting to give me some puppy therapy. That incident was fairly early on in my recovery process and it gave us lots of material to work on the next day. I've had 3 such releases from jury duty. I guess judges are pretty good at recognizing that traumatized look on the faces of potential jurors.
It really freaked me out to have a flood of memories wash over me. I understand what you mean. I think maybe it's that our subconscious can't hold it in any longer when we hear a story similar to our own. We hear "our" story being told by someone else and the memories refuse to stay hidden any longer.
@@sandyg3772 sad
@@sandyg3772 Yeah, our conscious mind forgets, but our brains never forget.
@@sandyg3772 The same thing happened to me. The judge was extremely kind and sent me back down - I could hardly talk by time I got down, but the lady at the desk reassured me it was not my fault and everything was okay. Sometimes there are people who really understand, or at least enough to know what to say/do. They had me sit down and brought me cold water and then asked how I was getting home (I was getting picked up) so they let me leave.
Wow I remember a lot to my abuse, and after what happened at the Plasma place, I had a night mare that they screwed with my breaks, and I almost died then too.
It truly is angering to grow up not knowing who I am. Being constantly confused about things I like, what makes me happy and all the things that make me who I am. At times I feel confident and solid in my opinion of myself and then something triggers a memory and all that confidence disappears like it was never there. I don't suffer from multiple personality disorder but, sometimes it feels like it. From reading the comments it seems like all of us that have this have felt crazy until we got properly diagnosed and felt relief. I know we are all stronger than this condition has us believe ❤️🙂
💗💗💗💗💗reading this Is what’s saving me from acting on my horrible thoughts. Thank you and I love you so much
@@paulettek8973 ❤️
I relate to this so much thank you for sharing.
@nichole8609 I truly understand the anger I was numb until I was 30 just going thru the motions. The more the memories pop up the more angry I become. I hope things are better for you now as opposed to a year ago when you wrote this. Stay strong U are a warrior.
@@paulettek8973Stay strong my Warrior Sister…☮️
Thank you! Perfectly said. Those who haven't experienced that trauma, don't understand and get upset when I zone out like I'm not there. They're right; I'm not. I don't do it on purpose!
Also, people tell me I'm too jumpy. If someone walks up behind me and speaks I jump outta my skin, my heart races. They have no idea what that does to me. Some think it's funny & do it on purpose. Some ask why I'm so jumpy. Geez! Only those who have it truly get it.
Ahh the jumpiness, I can see the funny side if it’s an accident but people doing it repeatedly... that’s awful
My former supervisor, great guy honestly I loved working with him. But he had a tendency to enter a room speaking at a volume I would only if I was trying to get someone's attention from the other side of a two-story house. It got me every time. The other week even my partner managed to scare me by simply being in the bedroom. I was cleaning or something meanwhile my partner was in the bedroom bathroom. I was entering and exiting the bedroom once, twice, and then on the third time he was next to the bed without me having heard him leave the bathroom, so naturally I yelled. I'm so freaking jumpy. Strangely I love horror, just so long as it isn't all cheap jump scares.
This is me. 😢😢😢
Yes same here. Any loud noise or when someone walks up to me I startle so easily. People at work found it so funny that they would intentionally do it until I finally had to say something.
Not me. NOBODY can sneak up on me. If there's someone hiding behind something, waiting to jump out, I know it. My 4 sons tried their entire lives to "scare mom" but they couldn't. It has to come from out of the blue. Once, my youngest was in my bathroom, coming into my bedroom. I was coming into my bedroom at the same time. That was the only time one of my sons was able to startle me. Granted, he jumped worse than I did. I am constantly on hypervigilance. I have always been able to sense the other person's presence.
This woman is an angel in disguise
💯
Yes!
Do you need help I recommend you to (Dr Wilson) he help me restore my broken relationship back to normal he can also render help to you too💝💝💝💝💝💝💘💘💘
i just see an angel, no disguise
@@tessamarie8698 much better way of putting it! :)
DISSOCIATIVE AMNESIA - YES !!!! This is it for me. I feel like you have just TOTALLY validated me Dr Ramani. I have experienced 22 years of narcissistic abuse from my ex -wife and I try so hard to recall things and I can't. When I was in therapy, I was asked to provide certain examples, and I really struggled. I could remember episodes of rage, projection, blame shifting, denial etc.....but I couldn't remember the actual detail. I just remember the episode and how it made me feel. It made me feel like crap.
I get it, I literally can't remember full YEARS of my childhood...3-5, and 7-10 years old. It's just lost. I can't get it back. Pictures of happy times help, but my memory is severely impacted. My counselor literally taught me how to disassociate with putting these trouble dolls under my pillow after assigning each one a particular worry, and in the morning, the trouble was gone, like my tooth with the tooth fairy. CPTSD is so misunderstood and we need to stop the stigma around mental health.
B I am sorry
I tried to tell my sister and I tried to explain to other people when I start to have a panic attack that I suffer from depression and complex PTSD and they act like I’m crazy because I’ve gone through trauma and a lot of trauma. It feeds into our trauma. I have become zipped up completely or if I think someone’s going to listen, I share and then not so infrequently, they freak out and run. This is a very difficult situation to be in. I have lost all my friends and those that I have left, do not understand ptsd or give a shit. I think it’s like most things. Unless you have it experienced it yourself, you can’t relate. I have always tried to be a good listener and I’ve always tried to be generous and kind with my time but honestly, I do not like most people anymore. The further I get away from people, the happier I am
Look up ☝️☝️that handle, he’s got the best tips and helps. I’ve microdosed shrooms for about 6 months now and it has really helped my CPTSD, anxiety and depression and I’ll recommend it for anyone.🙏🏻
I would recommend seeking out a psychologist or counselor. Your friends will not understand if they haven’t been through traumas. Try to find a counsellor you click with. Or it won’t really help. Might take time to find the right one.
Good luck. Don’t give up.
You are strong, you are valuable person, your life matters and you deserve better so as other said, you can seek out a therapeutic help or some other professional. Even if there are no other people around for you now, you can still be there for yourself and find a professional and perhaps also some kind of support group, talk group if you know what I mean. Wish you all the best.
I also turned to my sister who was previously a registered mental nurse. She has never agreed so she rang my doctor to say I was drinking at the time. Since then, nobody takes it seriously putting it all down to drinking. This is not true; when it happened to me and I had a total mental breakdown for about two months, the few days drinking was merely a desperate attempt to escape DID and PTSD. Result is my doctor will never believe anything I say.
@@vanwin5415 The doctor should believe you more then others. if he or she does not, then find a different doctor. Your family is not really helpful now but you are strong and you can do it. Also maybe you can find other people to support you outside your family. Some friends for example. Or maybe try to contact some kind of nongovernmental charitable organisation that specializes on people with PTSD or psychic problems or something like this. Just try Google various kinds of help or support for yourself. First it can help to speak with people who believe you and support you and second they may help you find treatment and so on. Wish you all well! :)
Three great books: Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving. Bessel van der Kolk's book The body keeps the score. Heller and LaPierre's book Healing developmental trauma.
@77rankoI haven't finished body keeps the score but CPTSD Surviving to thriving definitely provides a lot of information on healing. I remember because I made notes when reading it. It will be general to an extent because you can't solve everyone's problems from a book, but there are lots of pointers on where to go next after the book to work out your healing. Damaged perceptions are about thinking errors etc. There's a limit to what anything external is gonna do for you anyway. Hope you continue to find answers. Just my two cents. :)
Thank you for the Heller and LaPierre recommendation, somehow I had not come across that book until now.
@@jennw6809 They build on Peter Levine's theories I believe. Levine's methods are for ''regular'' PTSD. It's really great. Although I think you should always be cautious with new treatment methods and theories it really opened my eyes.
@77ranko No book and no therapist is going to give you clear directions. The only thing they can do is show you the general direction. You have to do the work and the walking even if you have someone next to you. A hurt mind is not like a broken limb you can heal with a doctor's help. Even the best psychiatrists are mostly working in the dark. Sad but true. All the best to you.
Walker's website is very easy to access and digest. I bought the book but couldn't read it. Too upsetting...
I feel like I have CPTSD. I know Self-Diagnosing is frowned upon; but, I feel like I have CPTSD. I sequester myself in my room and don’t engage with anyone, I constantly have to worry about staying present and not getting distracted by some unknown thing, my dad was horrible to me (He emotionally neglected me and behaved in a way I can only describe as, “Narcissistic”), I feel like I can’t truly relax, I truly feel like I’m a burden to everyone and I don’t share that with anyone, and I have moments where I feel like something horrible’s happening all over again. I can never pin down exactly what happened, but I know it’s bad because it feels like a panic attack
It's not always possible to get an official diagnosis. Some people can't afford it, some don't have access to a qualified professional who knows how to deal with that particular issue, etc. If you feel something fits, learn it, try techniques that are supposed to help with it and see if they work. Even if it turns out to be something else in the end, at least you'll still have some tools that help you manage the symptoms.
Although I would still recommend to use "uncertain" terms when you talk to people. In my personal experience, people tend to get their titties in a twist and start gaslighting me if I say "I'm autistic" but keep to light minimising if I say "I highly suspect that I might be autistic", and even less if I say "I have enough traits that fall under diagnostic criteria for Autism that it might be possible". Word fluff keeps you from being attacked.
I’m so sorry, but if it makes you feel less alone and “less pathetic” (that’s how I feel about my trauma sometimes at least), I related to everything you said and I feel the same way. You are not alone!! And Ill pray for you Anthony and everyone on this channel, it breaks my heart so many people had kids, but weren’t parents.. and we were all let down. But things will never be normal but they can get better.
🌌💖💫
I can certainly relate to your feelings. It could be that there wasn't one big trauma but frequent smaller traumas interacting with a parent who failed you repeatedly.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Does anyone know any good source to get them? I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels, would love to give shrooms a try.
Yes, dr.sporesss
Dr.sporesss is the best, he's been my go to for anything psychedelics.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
I had the WEIRDEST meltdown with one of my best friends. We share a passion and long history with horses. She was coaching me on her horse one evening when something she did or said triggered an emotional flashback. It was so intense. I was crying, I felt attacked, I felt helpless, and like I suddenly couldn't do anything right. As I cried, I remember my brain doing 3 things. One was to clutch its own pearls, aghast and flummoxed at this sudden reaction. That part of my brain was literally watching this whole thing unfold in shock and confusion. Like what fresh hell is THIS mess? And to WHAT am I reacting? The meltdown continued and felt very familiar. It was like I was 13 again. I became ETREMELY embarrassed. Took weeks and lots of therapy to discover it was an emotional flashback relating directly to my first riding instructor as a child. I rode with her for 7 years. During that time she subjected me to extreme abuse frequently. It is astonishing how these things just hit, like the baseball bat from hell, with no warning or immediately apparent reason.
When I was something like 3-4 years old in kindergarten I was once along with another boy severely beaten by a teacher. I do remember only two shards of scenes.
First I vaguely remember what happened before. I remember that me and perhaps then my friend, a dark guy with round face and golden glasses as we were standing along with other children around the piano on which the teacher played. We were singing. I remember we had some fun with my friend during that singing, looking at each other, teasing each other or something like that.
The second scene is when coming home. My aunt noticed bruises all over my ass and thighs. I was kind of embarrassed for her to find out, or rather scared although maybe a little bit relief. She reacted very hysterically, yelling about what the teacher has done. Btw if you are interested why I remember my aunt reacting and not my mother, it may be perhaps because she was not the first to spot it and because she did not react as hysterically because she just does not react like that. Tho it was her who later came to the teacher, dealt with it and get me of that kindergarten somewhere else.
I also remember that supposed reason for the beating was that we did not sing loud enough or something like we were doing some fuss during that singing.
But I don't remember anything else related to that kindergarten. Expect perhaps what the teacher looked like and that it was located in high concrete panel building, maybe even in apartment of such building. (Post-Soviet style building)
Can relate. I went through something traumatic and was reminded of it twice in my early 20s. Shaking, crying, sweating profusely, wanting to run away or curl up into a ball. It made no sense. I was so confused. I know now they were flashbacks to what happened.
A real trip was when I could connect every mental health crisis I've ever had to a significant day or event. Couldn't believe it. Reacting around certain times is called an anniversary reaction. I know now to prepare for those times.
Emotional flashbacks are so intense. The uncontrollable crying afterwards and the lack of understanding and disgust/judgement from witnesses is devestating.
I’ve tried explaining this to my wife..Not easy to do.
Talking about the flashbacks to trauma, I couldn't help myself but have the flashbacks. Memories of what I saw, what I smelled, how I felt in the moments of traumatic sexual abuse...and when Dr. Ramani said "you are safe", I burst into tears as I reminded myself that in this moment I am safe. These memories and body reactions to the memories doesn't mean I'm unsafe in this moment, just residual effects of cptsd rising to the surface again; like jellyfish stinging me. So simple yet so powerful when you feel like you're drowning in flashbacks, the thought of "I am safe in this moment" feels like something floating I can cling to as I spin endlessly in this sea of trauma. Thank you Dr. for the breath of air knowing I am safe in this moment. So powerful 🌊
I recently contacted a hypnotherapist for past childhood trauma, and like my therapists said, it wont work for this? Too many things cause false memory. IDK!
You are safe, strong and brave!!! And you deserve healthy love!!! Please always remember that ♥️
True security is knowing what will happen with surety.
You know your eventual outcome. That's why it's so important to know one is born again and going to heaven....which can/should eliminate the fear of death. John 3:3
Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
@@fireballxl-5748 Amen ❤
If not for the Lord, where would I be.
@@joysnow3779 Thank you ❤
I was diagnosed with cPTSD but have moved past it, so it's interesting to remember what it was like. Glad I got the proper support, and for anyone experiencing it, it's possible to get beyond it.
This.gives me hope. The question is, how?
Thank You 🙏🐰☮️✝️⛪🕉️🌍🌟✨🙂☯️✌️🌼
@@Cellcell.22 it stays but the ptsd symptoms can absolutely be reduced until minimal through various practices. Best thing you can do is find a good therapist.
Thank God. This gives me hope!
@@midnightmystery544 Remember your Trauma is a part of who you are, and what happened is not your fault. On the other hand you are the one who chooses how you let it affect you and others. Good luck moving forward! Turn it into something beautiful. X
I have cPTSD (self diagnosed) from an abusive childhood and early adulthood. I am 66 and it is only now that I realize how much this condition has effected every episode of my life including the present. I am trying to forgive myself for my shortcomings and failures, although I realize much of it was a direct result of the condition.
💕🌺💕
I’m the exact same. I’m 62. My body has also felt the trauma. I’m chronically ill. I have so much physical and mental pain from all this stuff. I wish us both luck.
Sending love!❤
U cant self Diagnose Yourself.
@@judgefudge7804 not everyone can afford a diagnosis, and cptsd doesn’t just suddenly manifest once the doctors say you have it.
I went for an ADHD evaluation and was diagnosed with cPTSD instead. It’s helped me so much
Interesting. I was too. I mean i was diagnosed with ADD and then PTSD but she thought I might have also had this all my life, before my traumatic events. So, do they think that CPTSD has characteristics of ADD? I was so bad that people would talk and it was like they were speaking a different language. Kinda like Charlie browns teacher. Thank you.
@@stenobabe1976 what she had told me was that it’s completely possible that I do have adhd but that my cPTSD is magnifying my symptoms. She went on to say they only way to know is to treat the cPTSD first and see if the other symptoms remain. For me, medication and therapy has really helped my symptoms, however I still have the ADHD symptoms but they aren’t as consuming. So, I guess for me I should have an ADHD evaluation now too but I will say treating the cPTSD has changed my life for the better
similar , i went for a bpd diagnosis 2yrs ago & came back with bpd,c-ptsd, mdd ,etc but after 2 years of seeing my physcologist ...my cptsd is very mild or less
How do we get diagnosed ?
I'm so glad that cPTSD is becoming more known and discussed. I am in therapy every week for deep inner child work and treatment for cPTSD. When I disassociate, I tend to go somewhere else for quite some time. Usually it looks like I am "resting my eyes" or staring at a wall. I have no idea that I am doing it, and sometimes don't even know for how long. It's so important that my inner child has her emotional releases in the presence of a safe and empathetic witness on my healing journey. There is hope for cPTSD survivors! The work is uncomfortable and hard but worth it!! Thanks MedCircle and Dr. Ramani.
Wow Today I get to know staring wall is my cptsd 🤦🏻♀️😂😂 damn. This comment is really helpful. Thanks
@@komalmasood6927 Me too! Never even thought that staring into space is part of CPTSD
@@PaddyJTheGypsyKing getting validation from you 😊
@@komalmasood6927 Seems like we are on a journey of discovery :)
@@PaddyJTheGypsyKing yes
I’m convinced I can cure my severe fibromyalgia by healing my traumas. This video is super accurate with my experiences.
Yes me too
Look into The Root Cause Protocol. Iron overload is toxic, bio-copper and magnesium are critical, but depleted. Broccoli sprouts cleans toxic iron out of the liver.
I told both my shrink and rheumatologist that I believed my fibromyalgia was a reaction ,as in a histamine type reaction, from outside events that I could not control. Both my shrink and rheumatologist were very impressed and one of them said; you're very astute and insightful. So I agree with you, I think there's something that we hold in our body which it is reacting to,. like when you get stung by a bee and your body fights that by inflammation usually requiring either an epi pen or as simple as benadryl.
@@marianserra8371 Stress depletes bio-copper and magnesium, both of which have been systematically removed from the food system over 100 years time. Metallic iron filings were added to the food supply in 1941, and they drive oxidative stress, which depletes magnesium and bio-copper. This mineral dysregulation eventually dysregulates one's autonomic nervous system, first hyper-sensitizing one's sympathetic nervous system and then crashing it and falling into exhaustion.
My comment above addresses how to build back bio-copper and magnesium status so that cells can make energy again and the nervous system has minerals to function again.
@@wellnesspathforme6236 so then intuitively I knew that I didn't need an antidepressant or other psycho Pharmaceutical in order to relieve the pain.? It's difficult to determine unless you're out of situations Banner causing your sympathetic nervous system to go Haywire. In my case it was stress at work and dealing with an addict for a husband. Thank you so much!
Learning that you have been living your life off survival coping skills and being unaware of it, is like going 100mpph and crashing into a brick wall. The symptoms are my life. I thought we all felt this way. Diagnosed with cPTSD and it has changed my life completly. Now that I am aware of it, my memory of trama is haunting me full force. A flood gate has been opened. Im drowning.
I hope you got the support you needed and your doing better now 💛 And if you need it today ~hugs 😊
Awww, I really feel for you. Please make sure you get the professional help and support you need. Wishing you a full recovery. X
You have to ‘go’ through it to ‘grow’ through it. Feel the pain and fear and face it. That’s the only way to heal it. You will come out on the other end…and it’s sooo beautiful on this side-trust me! All the best on your healing journey!✨
I hope you're doing better now. I've been there. It's not fun. Hang on.
Find something that you can do that lifts your mind out of it - I started going for walks, and foraging (gave me something to concentrate on while walking, so I didn't get lost in my head). Yours might be music, or a TV show, or painting, or cooking, or anything. It doesn't fix things, but it relieved the pressure of the constant overwhelm for me, if only for half an hour.
And it does get better.
Sending love n hugs to you. 💝🌍💝
Omg the passion she has and her choice of words shows how much she loves helping people who go through traumatic experiences. I got chills with the way she broke down every answer
I agree, I LOVE listening to her.
CPTSD and OSDD 1-A. I am proud of what my brain developed to protect me! I was ashamed of my diagnosis but later learned I am a survivor and my mental conditions helped me survive.
Sending love Nicole, from fellow cptsd survivor ❤
Complex PTSD is something I literally experience every single day, every single waking hour. I get triggered so easily and re-experience the trauma all over again as if it happened yesterday.
Once I recognized what I was going through, it took so much from me to process what happened to me so I could make peace with it and to put it behind me. It’s an ongoing process that doesn’t resolve itself overnight.
Absolutely, this is something we may fight for the rest of our life. But the best part is that we are now aware of this before it got waaaaaay on the deep end.
@Candice Elizabeth There's a reason they're called the filth.
I'm screenshotting your comment to read when i feel alone in this. That's EXACTLY 💯 how it feels. Thank you.
@Candice Elizabeth you should REPORT THOSE POLICE. and know that cptsd and ptsd often 'looks' like personality disorders to unskilled therapists. You know your own truth! And you're definitively not alone.
I have spent my adult life trying to understand what I was feeling, and why. I knew the violence and fear of my childhood had to leave its mark, but I didn't realize it could physically alter my brain. Thank for the insight.
I'm in EMDR therapy to help me process earlier traumas and I'm finding it difficult to identify specific traumas that trigger my cPTSD. I found Dr. Ramani's explanation of dissociative amnesia fascinating, and I wonder if that's what I'm experiencing. cPTSD is awful. And, at 53 years old, I'm finally learning how badly it's impacted my life from childhood until now.
I found that EMDR was only good for specific incidents like a car crash. CPTSD is often a chronic series of traumatic events.
For that I found Internal Family Systems therapy and somatic experiencing therapy to be the most helpful forms of therapy.
What helped me the most was psychedelics, specifically ayahuasca. But it’s expensive to go on retreats. Having said that, how much do you value your life..
@@GChan129 “how much do you value your life” - what a callous thing to say. It actually sounds like something a high pressure salesman would say.
Not everyone has the means to pay for expensive treatments. Not everyone has access to basic counseling or psychiatric medications. Being unable to get treatment because of inability to pay has no bearing on whether a person wants help or not.
@@ilduce5874 When it comes to trauma, the concept of 'fairness' should be thrown in the bin. Just do what you can to heal yourself.
I'm 69 and just discovered CPTSD has impacted, negatively, my entire life.
My therapist recommended the book "8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery" by Babette Rothschild. Might be useful.
I've got traumatic amnesia of some of the traumas I experienced (multiple ones, very different from each other), but not others. For the ones I can't remember (some of which I've been able to piece together from others' accounts because there were other people there). It's like I have memory up to a certain point, then everything goes black. Then later the memories start up again, but the middle part is always just black. Like a TV show that's faded to black for commercials, but there weren't any, it just stays black till it fades back up again. One of the amnesias goes back to when I was 10. I'm 47 now.
I have never been properly diagnosed. I have all the signs. It was like she was describing me.
Wish you all the best for your healing journey 💗
Thank you for your support
Yes.
It's hard to get diagnosed in Canada because I'm guessing then you'll be another burden on our health care system. Same as Lyme Disease.
Me too, diagnosed with GAD and depression for years but I always spoke about recurring truama
I’ve been healing this in myself for years, and I’m still taken aback when memories resurface of situations I had forgotten about & didn’t realize impacted me as much as they did. Trauma leaves its mark. There is no “normal.” You just find what works for you to stay functional and sane.
If you’re reading this and still struggling, keep hope alive. Don’t give up on yourself. It WILL get better but not with time alone; you have to make an effort to heal. I promise you will get through this. Better days are coming for you.
❤️
I love Dr. Ramani. She sounds like an amazing therapist.
Yes❤️
She's one of the best I've ever seen
I was diagnosed with cptsd since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting cptsd. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
How can i find him? Is he on Instagram
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an
obsession with violence.
Does he ship?
Why is this comment everywhere?
Diagnosed in 2018 what a blessing to finally know what was wrong with me. The part about attention and not hearing people, that is one of my most prevelant symptoms but I didn't even realize it until watching this video. If I had a penny for every time I was accused of being arrogant-
Your comment was so relatable. I recently got the diagnosis.
The most difficult thing to do is finding a qualified psychotherapist. I've never found one so I've had to deal with trauma alone.
Same, the last therapist seemed like I was wasting his time and needed to be someone important (in the spotlight) or abide by his beliefs. I ended up walking out and never went back.
@@bubblegumelectric1 yup. Those types are a dime a dozen. When in fact, people are truly suffering and suffering even more greatly because their perceptions are skewed and they inevitably put people in their lives that reek havoc.
My friend, if I could, please learn to meditate. Take 5 minutes out of the morning and meditate. It has cured my night terrors.
Best wishes to you always
@@light9623 thank you, I will try this. ❤️
@light9623 You are not alone. When I struggle to find a qualified psychotherapist, I think of all the others like myself that struggle with this too. 🤍🙂
Jeez. I once thought it was just me. The scope of destruction is all. Literally
Move your eyes left to right if you feel yourself slipping into the past!
This for me breaks up the thoughts and brings me back to reality !
Like EMDR
I'm doing it. I'm doing it.👀
@@SKOLAH lmao lmao
If you're watching this video and feeling like you're at the end of your rope, please know that you're not alone. It's okay to reach out for help, whether that's through therapy, medication, or just talking to a friend. It can be a long and difficult journey, but there is hope and healing on the other side. Thank you to the creator for sharing their story and shedding light on this important topic.
I cannot express enough how much @Dr.healingstrain mushrooms have changed my life. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for years and have tried countless medications and therapies, but nothing seemed to work. But as soon as I started taking the mushrooms, I immediately noticed a difference in my mood and overall well-being. The anxiety and depression symptoms I once faced on a daily basis have now become manageable. I highly recommend @Dr.healingstrain mushrooms to anyone looking for a natural, effective solution to improve their mental health.
Dr.healingstrain
iG ☝️☝
I feel anxious watching this.
We're cheering you on. Courage.. 💓
Me too🥲
Me too :(
It's okay you're not alone ❤️
Same
With goosebumps
Dr Ramani, I'm 75 years old and have never really understood what has been going on in my life, feeling guilty for not being an integrated personality and for being less than a person. It has affected my study work and relationships. I have been so relieved to hear your discussion as this has not been explained to me very well by the medical profession, especially concerning the amnesia and fragmented memories. There are many people in my situation, and this has helped me put myself in perspective and do the best I can.
Flashbacks for me are not visual re-experiences of the event(s), but an emotional one. The fear, the pain, and the loneliness all converge on me simultaneously when triggered, coupled with the physical responses of Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn. As the symptoms have grown in intensity and frequency, the disorder has completely disabled me. I feel like after 40 years of living through this, I’m simply not capable, anymore, of doing so. But far from acknowledging the incapacity and helping me endure, supporting my recovery, my family doesn’t understand because they can’t see the pain, the fear, the anguish, the shame. I’ve been covering up and making excuses for my behavior because of my trauma for decades. Now, I’m tapped. I just don’t have it in me, anymore. None of the old tricks work, anymore. Instead, many of them have themselves become triggers. I don’t know what my brain and body are trying to tell me, how to figure it out, or how to continue surviving long enough to get help. Of course, all of this is exacerbated by the fact that every aspect of my recovery demands that I take responsibility for the coordination of my care - disability insurance, medical insurance, employer, therapist, psychiatrist, medications, and maintain my normal day-to-day living requirements like eating right, getting enough sleep, personal hygiene, and caring for my family- all of which go by the wayside for days or weeks at a time regardless of how much I want to do them, as quickly as they pop up, they’re buried before the guilt and shame can settle in. I’m in what seems like a semi-permanent state of stasis, an emotional, physical, and mental cocoon. As long as I stay there, I don’t hurt, I’m not drowning in fear. But my wife, insurance and employer are pushing me to get out, while my therapist and psychiatrist are only vaguely consulted and my feelings and desires mean diddly squat. This is exactly the trap I feel most suicides find themselves in: 95% of suicides in America are diagnosed with a mental illness, which means 95% of them were at some point in close proximity with someone who could have helped, but didn’t. Maybe they weren’t open about their needs, revealing about their feelings, willing to expose themselves for the chance at recovery. But I’m the opposite. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, I’m “medically compliant” and I’m open and completely honest with my docs. I’m just not capable of facing the judgment that is implicit in insurance claims, employment, or society. The irony for me is that I’ve seen how my family reacted to death and heard the pleading and bargaining they did afterward and can’t help the realization that they didn’t really mean the things they said they would have done if given the opportunity to intervene. I’m giving them the opportunity. They’re not taking it. Which only makes me feel more worthless than I already do.
I agree with you completely man, nobody gets it, recently been diagnosed with cptsd myself and it makes no difference, everything is a struggle, wish you nothing but the best man, your strong for getting this far, you got this 👍🙏
The entire family of whom created my ABUSE want me to get OVER what has gotten worse each DECADE
Holy sh*t, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I know that feeling too well! How are you, how are you doing these days?
I’m 39. I was neglected by my mother my entire childhood. Dad was absent. I married someone very young who abused me psychologically and then told people I did to him the exact things he was doing to me. It’s taken a long time to just unfold and understand how fucked up my head is.
You’re not fucked up❤the trauma was not YOU and you’re fault
I married a man the EXACT SAME. He would beat me then look me in my face and right to my eyes say I did it to myself then go tell others it happened in exact reverse. He also would turn in to me personality wise with other people to the point of using the exact words and phrasing to express things the exact way I did. He took on my likes and hobbies and just ME in general. Out of all the physical emotional verbal and financial abuse…. This way of being so INTENTLY insidious and manipulative at my expense while being “me” to everyone else has damaged me and hurt my heart far deeper and far longer and with more severe repercussions than anything else. I just still cannot believe it. I can’t.
I’m so glad I found her work. Finally, after almost 30 years of life, I’m finally understanding things about myself that never made sense! It’s overwhelming to endure this, feels like I’m extremely behind in life and have lost a lot of relationships.
It’s going to be a long road to recovery, but I’m very glad that I’m not the only one. Hope everyone else that’s experienced this improves too!
I feel she has been watching and listening to me. It was hard to stay listening to her. I was going back wards. I have isolated myself so much so no one has to see How messed up I am. I will be replaying this many times
Same, life has passed me by, at least we have a diagnosis, I knew I was sick but couldn't put it together, take care of yourself
This helps me to understand why my PTSD has been so chronic and severe after narcissistic abuse and sexual trauma! Thanks Dr. Ramani!
I have cptsd, my main issue is the absolute fear of a intimate relationship. It’s been over 3 years of no dating even. The thought or even in the event of someone trying to get close to me is terrifying. Plus all the other effects of it. I’m diligent and knowledgeable and it still takes control. I work so hard to move past it…,
I do not even know how to start thinking that would ever be a possibility for me. I kind of gave up on the whole idea. Because what they say that if you cannot love yourself you are not capable of loving someone else kind of holds true. Deep down I will always think I am sort of broken or unworthy.
@@richardbeek808no one is unworthy 🙏💓 u are worthy
Hi Sueradcliffe, I relate to your comment so much. I am terrified of intimacy. I spent all of my 20's very alone. I'm now in my late 30's and have dated and had intimate relationships but they were very difficult & lasted only a few months. The hardest part is the loneliness. I know rationally/objectively there is nothing wrong with me and I try to remember this when forming relationships with others.
I've been on one date in the last 10 years, and that date was 7 years ago. I don't even have friends anymore. My self-worth dropped into the toilet, with a series of upsetting events around the time of the breakup a decade ago, that seem to have re-traumatized me. And things only got worse from there. I've given up hope of, and effort to, ever having another romantic relationship. I'm 45, and grieving the fact that I won't have kids, and a family of my own. (My biological clock is up.)
Well you’re good looks wouldn’t be a problem
I was initially diagnosed with BPD, but after I got two other opinions, I was told I have cPTSD.
This happened to me too, the symptoms are really similar
i have diagnosed bdp since i was 17 but then shit happened and i developed ptsd and after cptsd but it took me years before i realized it. Since when i know i have it life became a little better.
I wish i could be diagnosed correctly but in my area all the docs are morons who only look for your money and dont know what the heck they're even doing .....
I’m diagnosed with BPD, and I can understand why. I’m not rejecting my diagnosis, however, I feel C-PTSD is more fitting and perhaps more likely the root of all my mental health issues. Alas, C-PTSD is not a formal diagnosis (yet.)
@@nettle8605 just cause they got a nice ce lettering on the walk doesn't mean they're right i went to many different ones and everyone diagnosed differently ..the prob is they either don't get it or never seen that before in other patients...whateeeever
The amnesia is spot on i have such clear vision of memory then there's just gaps in my timeline.
I hate watching these videos, but she describes my entire life in such detail that I find myself listening anyway. I don't think I've ever gotten the help I needed, and never knew that CPTSD even existed. I often thought I was just a cry baby and was using my experiences as a crutch because that's what my family had always told me. Today, I'm homeless and just got laid off yesterday, but it's better than being around my family. Often times I find myself wishing someone would come along and help me, because I don't even know where to look for help.. but I know no one is coming, so I try to skip these and watch motivation compilations instead. I still experience triggers, and still isolate and hid from the general public. Thank you for helping me to understand that what I'm going through is real, and I'm not just being a "tiddy baby".
Sending my love and healing energy to all who have watched this, you all deserve to feel safe in your bodies and validated for your experiences. Giving you all virtual hugs. 💙
I'm so glad you covered this today. This illness is so hard to understand even though you live with it, nothing you ever do feels safe. The worst part is the dissociation, the ruminating thoughts, and fearing that you might take your own life. It's so powerful. You feel like an outsider in everything you do. I'm so grateful for the chance to stay at home and understand this disorder, I thought I was nuts for the longest time. Great work thank you for everything you do to inform us on mental health.
As someone who has C-PTSD and other mental health issues I really appreciate the way she explains how me and many others struggle with C-PTSD. What she said is almost exactly what I deal with daily even with medication and it SUCKS.
Reassuring to know why I struggle to concentrate
Living spaced out
One thing worth mentioning is a person can have both ADHD and CPTSD .
Absolutely, that’s a really important thing to note. And because ADHD people have a higher risk for trauma, it is not an uncommon combination. I have both and it’s possible to tell them apart even though there is overlap.
I have ADHD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, cPTSD, OCD, and GAD😓
I’m both and DID too 😎
I have both 🫠
It's kind of funny, I thought I had ADHD for the longest time, started seeing similarities in my kid so took them for a diagnosis. They have inattentive type. I don't have it, but I learned enough about ADHD to discern that what I did have was in fact C-PTSD. So, not for nothing lol.
Dr Ramani Please a video on cPTSD for your channel and how it relates to narcissism and narcissistic abuse
Check out Melanie Tonia Evans, world expert on narcissistic abuse recovery - going quantum into the body and not the head/mind to release all types of trauma 💗
Here's one of numerous of hers you may find helpful
ua-cam.com/video/shhABI35z2g/v-deo.html
more:
ua-cam.com/users/DoctorRamanisearch?query=narcisisitic%20abuse%20and%20cptsd
03:36 My heart goes out to any and all who have suffered with PTSD in any form. It's very misunderstood. Knowing some people who have been diagnosed with CPTSD, the dissociation and the "panic attack" element is one of the most debilitating parts of the issue. Simple, everyday things can become very hard...For example, loud noises that sound similar to gunfire and bombs (so, for example, a pneumatic drill for roadworks, loud fireworks, even action films) can turn a very normal experience for most people into something absolutely terrifying. In the most recent case: war veteran gets almost paralysed by the activation, so her 'freeze' is dissociation, and her 'fear' is panic attacks. 'Fight' responses are anger episodes, for her. But it's a very hard place to be in, and most people just don't understand what is happening when she acts 'strangely', adding further to social isolation and stigmatisation. She's doing quite well, with conscious practice, but the nightmares are one of the hardest things to deal with, for her. Makes it hard to sleep, and function. Feel for her.
Thank you. 🙏🏻
I have C-PTSD from being the only child of two narcissists. My memory is horrible so I have to reread things a lot to learn. I have a high IQ but it's very annoying to have to work so hard to retain information. It's one aspect of C-PTSD that bugs me the most. I can be told something then forget it almost immediately.
Another thing is the flashbacks that show up anytime. Flashbacks to my mostly mean things said to me by my (high level, diagnosed NPD) mother. She was/is aggressive and I was the target of her wrath for no reason other than to control me. I was a quiet, good kid. She hates me to this day. I find myself hearing her voice and then my telling her "You will NOT hurt me". It's a struggle within me..my years of therapy fighting with playback of old "tapes". Outwardly I look and act calm but inside I'm on high alert, fight or flight. I barely sleep. Meds don't help much.
DBT has helped me to some degree..distracting the mind and distress tolerance are good. Therapy is so important..Ive gone all my life, determined to not be like my angry, selfish mom (and dad..who has a good side but it has almost disappeared in old age).
I moved out to the country for a slower pace of life/less stimulus to my brain. It has helped but is isolating. Having C-PTSD is hard but I lead a productive life despite it. I think it takes a ton of energy because I get overwhelmed and need to rest quite a bit. It's not fair that narcissists can do these things to their kids then pass judgment as they struggle in life to heal. My mother found my struggles entertaining. I've succeeded in my business despite it all. I'm relentless in making healing and growth happen. We as survivors have to be our own champions when nobody else cares. I use mom's hatred as fuel to prove her wrong..and I have. I just wish it wasn't so damned hard to have inner peace.
You’re doing great 👍
@@hugmc Thank you. :)
I think a self esteem workbook would help the most. I feel like that could truly help you. Because ptsd and trauma can truly fuck up our self esteems.
@@HAHA-kk2xy Good idea, I'll look into it. Thank you for the idea. I do journal and it's helpful. :)
@CarolynMcFann we may be kindred spirits. :) I'm an only child to an undiagnosed schizoid/narcissistic personality mother and a sadistic father. I TOTALLY agree that it's unfair they do all this damage and we have to unravel the mess they made to create a livable life. Then, they take the credit, like, "See how well my daughter is doing." We're doing as well as we are despite of the craziness they put us through. Keep on your journey and remember you're stronger than you give yourself credit.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
@@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEUI got mine from dr.sporesss
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
@@eddiejohn8506Is he on instagram?
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Oh yeah I’ve been waiting for this. Freaking love her!
Me too❤️🥰
Yes
Dr. Ramani saved my life. Once I found her and heard what she had to say, so many things in my life suddenly made complete sense when previously I was so confused about what happened to me.
She’s so eloquent
@@doulalina yes you can literally see her brain working when she talks. So smart. She has such a wealth of knowledge and information constantly cycling through her head.
I have complex-ptsd, major depression, anxiety and ocd. What you're saying is so true. I've been through every kind of abuse you can think of. I struggle so much with my complex ptsd and major depression and anxiety and ocd. It's a daily struggle and interferes with my daily activities. I have nightmares and flashbacks and many triggers. It's not fun or funny. Finally someone who understands what complex ptsd and major depression and anxiety and ocd. Sometimes I go through the day numb and I'm not really mentally and emotionally where I need to be because I'm in a flashbacks or stuck in trauma.
Stress makes this way worse….same with ptsd. The nightmares get worse.
I feel u 💯
@@errinmonado6905 I’m so sorry!!
So true... I'm going through this now 😫 worst nightmare in a long time last night due to stress and exhaustion. It's always there waiting to get me when I can't deal with it as well 🫣
I know of counselors who could not see it in patients, but also of medical professionals, who experience it themselves, being able to immediately detect it in patients.
I am clear on memories of the trauma, but in sessions with my therapist when I get emotional or try to share examples of certain things - I go blank. It's so frustrating that I can't recall things. I really wish I could free myself of the issues related to CPTSD...I've held myself back in so many ways just so I could feel safe. Really I'm just paralyzed with fear of living. I truly wonder what I could have accomplished by now.
Well, one HUGE accomplishment to your credit is that you survived! The work you are involved with in YOUR recovery is the greatest work you can do right now.
I went back to school to become a child therapist. When my formal education slowed down to an agonizing crawl, due to the overwhelmingly triggering subject matter, I became extremely frustrated and impatient. I wanted to be helping children with their traumas NOT constantly dealing with the awareness of my own! However, that's when I learned that the children I needed to help heal FIRST were the ones I had left trapped in the past, in their never-ending traumatic events. My therapist taught me that THEY are worth our time and attention. I no longer see my younger selves as "traumas to be released" but as children to be rescued from traumatic events, loved, and healed. I haven't integrated all of them yet, but now when I regress to earlier states of mind, I don't get frustrated. I accept it as an opportunity to learn more about the incident being brought to light, and to heal at least one more aspect of it. I am also training my subconscious to know that I am capable of taking care of me.
The work we are all engaged in is not for the faint-hearted or feeble-minded. It's HARD work! Give yourself the credit due to you. You totally deserve it.
I've worked to heal CPTSD from years of trauma and highly recommend the book called The Emotion Code. It offers a technique to heal deeply embedded trauma and memories trapped in the psyche and body.
If you're able to maybe you could write some bullet points to talk to with your therapist. I keep a journal between sessions , and if something keeps coming up I'll note it down so I'm not trying to remember In the session.
You didn't hold yourself back, you went through something awful and you did the best you could, not someone else's best, your best (and even our bests vary from day to day...some days my best is full work day and seeing a friend, some days my best is showering) . You're seeing a therapist too. Keep going xx
@@bluejayjitsu4429 Great advice. I'll definitely do this.
That happens to me too... I tend to go blank anytime I'm talking to someone and trying to retell facts or stories of any type. It drives me crazy
Each time I hear a topic discussed by Dr. Ramani, I come away with a far clearer understanding of the subject matter. She breaks things down splendidly and educates extremely effectively.
So thrilled to have discovered these talks.
Mushroom-based treatments offer new hope for cptsd management.
Mushrooms' effects feel more holistic, connecting me to nature.
I was skeptical at first, but psilocybin mushrooms have been a game-changer for my mental health.
These are great healing compounds! When used in proper context.
Hello, it seems I'm interested in trying emm.. how do you get yours ?
doc.kain
I like how Dr Ramani explains things so clear, thanks Kyle and Dr Ramani for doing these videos.
I was diagnosed with CPTSD almost 3 years ago now. My partner tells me about my night terrors that happen pretty much every night, because of my trauma. I would love to talk with this Dr. If I could afford her she seems great, just like my old therapist.
She has her own YT channel focusing on dealing with Narcissistic abuse (one of the best on YT, imho), and there's some contact information in the About section. No one would charge you for asking... ua-cam.com/users/DoctorRamani
Lincoln, recently~recently & now acknowledging, I decided to educate my awareness of 25-7 yrs of separate diagnoses. My intention is to understand thru talk therapy. I've never had a decent therapist, or in some instances, I was not a decent client or patient. Hmm, I should probably set a timeline to commit to... Anyway, I'm honestly sorry for your suffering. IDK if you have or had a therapist, keep looking or tell them what you need =)
@@dutchgala826 thanks. Im great! Was in therapy for 3 years with a great person very calm therapist. Unfortunately I’m not in my home country as I’ve moved, so will be looking in the current location I’m at. We did talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy. I did agree to starting EMDR but I ended up moving.
I used to ' fit ' in my sleep and cry out scream, my lover used to leave me and go to another bed.
Wow you just completely nailed everything I’ve been going through in my life since the age of 8. I am 40. Thank you so much.
I’m just now in my life coming to the realization that I most likely have CPTSD, and it’s insanely difficult to accept… thank you for this video. ❤
Not everyone with c-ptsd experiences dissociative amnesia or visual flashbacks, sometimes flashbacks are purely emotional with no memory attached. The book by van Der Kolk, “The Body Keeps the Score” has more detailed information regarding the cognitive and physiological affects of trauma.
Sometimes I wonder if this is what happens with me, when I cry without end and I don't even know why.
that's true, I didn't have visual flashbacks just the bad emotions that I felt
it is incredible how many people suffer with mental illness & how very little help is available. Dr.Ramini,med circle & Dr. Les Carter's online free content have given me hope again, thank you all for sharing your professional hard earned education with anyone seeking to overcome mental illness.
I remember actual traumatic events, but I have huge chunks of memory that are completely "gone" for up to a year or more after the event. I remember my father leaving us when I was 3 and my brother being born very very ill. I remember him being back and there being holes in walls and fights and fear, but memories of the good things are much harder to access. I remember the two and a half years of sexual abuse, some of the memories so vivid I can recall in great detail, but I have very little memory of school or teachers or friends during those years.
In the 2000's decade, my family went through a string of deaths, beginning with my step grandmother and my sister in law, then my mother and my step grandfather two months later (who died in the same hospital room in Atlanta that my mother had been in before her surgery that she didn't recover from), several other family members I'd been close to as a child, and finally my brother and my beloved Granddaddy within months of each other and later that year, my biological father (my abuser) was released from prison. I have a gap of about a year after Mama's death and then very little memory for at least a year after my brother's death. I hate this because in my extreme grief and pain, I neglected my children emotionally and said and did things that hurt them (I was suicidal). I've apologized to them for anything they've brought up that I said or did because I do believe it happened and I hate that I became so emotionally and mentally unstable that I hurt them and contributed to their trauma.
I've never understood why I couldn't block out the actual traumatic events....I wish those memories weren't the only ones or prominent ones I have of childhood and of raising my children. I wish I could block the bad ones and remember the good ones. Every other survivor of childhood abuse that I know has either no memory loss or blocked the traumatic event. Am I abnormal in this?
My best friend and I have discussed how we both have huge parts missing from our childhood, we both grew up with our own sets of trauma and I figured me forgetting it was just part of coping. I wish I could remember the way other people do though
Absolutely not. I'm like you. It happened to me and my sister. She doesn't remember or maybe acts as if nothing happened. She loves our abuser deeply. She remembers more about our childhood than I do. I mostly remember the bad things. But I don't remember how it felt or how I felt. I just remember what happened. I don't even remember what I thought. It's really weird like remembering a movie as if it didn't happen to me. I think that's dissociation.
Libera i am exactly the same. My childhood is a bunch of random memories I have no emotional grasp on.
I remeber all my traumatic events, but I miss big chunks of time around those traumatic events. I miss chunks of my children's early years, they remeber but I dont. I think you are normal. I think our brains work in our favor always
I'm with so many emotions just listening to this. My nerves are on end, and I have to turn it off. Too many feelings come to the surface.
Ah yes, Cptsd. My time to shine ✨
I am someone who has very very little memory from the past five years along with childhood. My amnesia tends to linger in everyday situations as well. I’ll ask a question or talk about a topic repeatedly forgetting I even asked it already.
Not fun but it definitely makes rewatching my favorite movies and tv shows like it’s the first time HAHAHHAA
Same here :))
Scrambling for a positive but the ability to rewatch stuff is pretty nice sometimes
I do that too. I lost a couple of years.
@@amyeliza452 Theres positives in there! I tend to look at it like a superpower. My mind protecting my heart. There’s some kinks to work out but there’s some things in there that’s fun. Like reliving the spark of passion when I talk about the same thing or as I said watching movies I have no memory of watching even if I did! Much love to you
Jay - I like your take on things. I have almost no memories of childhood and into teen years. I always thought i just didn't have a good memory system. Then, a person from my childhood will tell a story and i'm like, "And then what did i do?" I thought someone telling a story i was in would spark a memory but no. It's still like they are talking about someone else. Then i joined the Army. Bad move. Getting sober helped; not with the memories from before, but helped me stop piling on more trauma.
Absolutely true! Thank God I sought help & decided I deserved better. I still struggle however I now have a full toolbox to move through it. I finally found a true trauma therapist who helped me move into & through it. I’m 66 and know there is hope.
When I mentioned wanting this the other day, little did I know it was on the way. Thank you.
Im glad you mentioned the amnesia component of trauma. I endured years of it perpetrated by multiple families over 12 years as I was growing up. For the life of me I have tried to remember my childhood, the good stuff especially but its just vague, but now at almost 56, Im getting flashbacks of such clarity of memories, smells, texture, COLOUR and location...its fleeting but wonderful. Im also scared that the 'other stuff' may surface as well. My Mum died of dementia. She too was a survivor. Ive wanted to remember ALL of it mentally now that Im older, but I do know I had a mental breakdown at 20 yrs when I tried to do that as well, it became 3 weeks of psychotic in symptomology and terrified me. Ive never ventured back into that part of me again yet know Im not whole until all of this is fully known and recognised in me. I dont want to pass without the truth of knowing and loving my true self, my being and all the I endured and stayed a good person. I know I will give her a standing ovation at the end. lol : )
you don't need to remember what happened to you to connect with your inner child. get to know her, find out what she needs to feel safe and then give it to her/yourself.
@@shugabiatch You know what. That is the best advice. I know the endurance is there above the pain. That is my truth now. Revisiting ground zero does nothing but cause more distress. Embrace the healing. Stand firm and be proud. : )
This is my reality. I've been told it lately that it seems I'm not focused, always distracted or somewhere else. I've been told I'm distant. Starting the journey of healing from childhood emotional neglect. A lot of what's mentioned rings true to me. There's hope. There's always hope.
I have c-ptsd and dissociated while watching this 😂 I’ve been trying so hard to practice mindfulness but I feel like I dissociate while I do it a lot of the time. I’m trying !!
The definition of me. Though sad, it certainly gives me some sort of self. Sad, but atleast I am aware I exist with others who exist. Now if only we felt more than existence 😪 but to feel not alone..... gee...it helps a lot.
I had advanced testicular cancer that required a major surgery and aggressive chemotherapy. My scar is gnarly (over 18 inches) and they took a saw to my rib cage. I feel the discomfort everyday from the surgery and I start to relive the terrible hospital experiences I had years ago. Thanks for sharing the video. The more informed we are the better we can care for those that need support and love.
She explains everything so good & clearly. It shows how she understands her field & her patients. She reminds me of my own Dr... Solid, patient, understanding, knowledgeable, compassionate & willing to learn. It's sad that half the medicine field is filled with just text book smart professionals. True knowledge & healing power in medicine have deep roots in compassion & willingness to understand other human's pains.
I was molested as a child by my father and enter one abusive relationship after another . The last one was very traumatizing . Can’t hold a job for long because of my anxiety ! I’m about to be homeless ! Is there any help out there? .
zann porterfield,You deserve better 🙏🙏🙏
I love swimming jacquizzi steam etc and regular massage therapy! We are worth it! Helpful.
Wow Dr.RMani.We are vetting so smart! Thank you!😍
Just know you are loved ❤️ I hear you, I understand you. It's going to be okay. Take deep breaths through your nose, in and out. Find your center. You'll make it through this I believe in you!✊🏼
I would suggest a GoFundMe or something like that were people can help give you money for you struggling. That’s all I can think of. I wish you the best of luck!!
diagnosed w/ ptsd, depression, adhd. I've felt that when I think about complex concepts, when I am trying to pull the ideas all together, I just can't think. I start feeling confused and I lose my place, so to speak. Anybody else have that? I think it's really held me back. I just go fuzzy. I am bright enough otherwise....
Writing things out is a good way to gain clarity.
Same here. It's frightening.
I was diagnosed with c-ptsd. I never thought I could have that, since I always heard veterans are the ones who can get diagnosed with ptsd. I never viewed my life as being so traumatic, that I would get diagnosed with this disorder. But then in therapy, I was able to open up more. I grew up in a very toxic household. It was my parents, my grandparents, and my brother living in a 2 story house. But we were always together. My drug addict uncle lived with us shortly as well. There was a lot of mental illness going on. Many in my family refuse to acknowledge it. My mom def has adhd, and she has narcissistic tendencies. She made me very enmeshed with her. It’s believed that my dad most likely had adhd as well, and he’s very narcissistic. He would get mad at my mom when we were younger and not speak to her for 2 weeks at a time. And then I was put in the middle and had to go back and forth relying what each parent had to say to one another. My grandpa most likely had adhd as well. He was a hoarder, and a very mean man. He was always putting me down, and could be very violent. But I have a a lot of respect for him, because he really provided for us. As he got older, we grew closer. But it was tough growing up with him. You were always working on egg shells around him. One time he walked in on me showering, with a knife in his hand, because I was taking too long in there. He was so cheap! Now my grandma… this lady was not all there. I love her dearly, but she was the craziest! After speaking to my therapist, she most likely was a narcissist, and most likely had bipolar or borderline personality disorder. You NEVER knew what mood she was going to be in. One minute she would love you, and then the next, you were the worst person in the world! It was sooo draining being around her. But what made it worse, was that she was so giving. It was like she would try to buy your love with money and gifts. She was very manipulative! I’m sorta angry at her, because she made my mom be enmeshed with her, and now my mom expects it from me. And I don’t want that life style. But I see the potential my mom has, but my mom is so stuck in her ways now. And I see her acting like my grandma the older she gets. None of them ever hit me though, so you wouldn’t think there was abuse. But there was a crap ton of mental abuse. My poor uncle, I feel was a victim of the abuse as well, and turned to drugs and drinking to cope. He passed away 20 years ago now, and it’s so sad that I wasn’t old enough to understand what was going on. I often wonder if I was older, if I could’ve maybe helped him out, but I try not to dwell. Then when I was around 16/17, flashbacks came back to me of me being molested. I went through a horrible depression during that time. I couldn’t leave the house and just wanted to unalive myself. It was so hard for me to talk to anyone about it, but I finally told my mom and told her I needed to speak to a therapist (something she was always against). She agreed to finding me one, and I started going. She was awful! But she got me to get out of the house. Then all my autoimmune issues came to the surface and doctors couldn’t figure out what my condition was until about 2 years ago. So I suffered greatly for over 10 years with pain. During that time I met my mentally and emotionally abusive ex. I stayed with him for 7 years, which made my depression worse. I also ballooned up to 350 lbs trying to eat my feelings. He started getting physical towards the end, and then I found out he was cheating on me when I decided to go through his phone one night when he fell asleep with it in his hands. He was always weird about me touching his phone, and even put a passcode and wouldn’t let me know what it was. That caused me to be very suspicious. My suspicions were right, because he was on tinder talking to girls and doing god knows what else! After we broke up, I found out he was seeing a girl from his job. Which made me think he was most likely speaking to this girl while we were together. But I’m glad I found out everything, because it gave me the motivation to finally leave him. I immediately started therapy after everything, and while my therapist can’t confirm if my ex was a narcissist or not, because she would have to speak to him herself. She did say he sounds very narcissistic. I also suspect bipolar, since almost every male in his family has it. He was so nice to me in the beginning, and then it was like something in his brain just snapped! It was like I never knew him at all! But I’m doing better now. I’m in therapy, I lost 160 lbs, I found out my diagnoses for my medical issues, I feel way more confident about myself, I’m on a special diet for my medical conditions, which help a lot with my pain. I actually got diagnosed with adhd as well during this past summer. I always suffered in school growing up. I could never focus. Maybe it’s always just been cptsd? But my medication does help me when I take it, so who knows. And I’m way more confident in my skin now. I’ve realized that everything that’s happened to me was not my fault. I’m not unworthy, I’m not ugly, I’m not bad etc. There’s nothing wrong with me. I was just given a not so great hand at life. But I have the choice to turn all that around, and I think I’m slowly getting there!❤️
Way to go. Sounds like you are making incredible progress. Way to inspire others❤
Read it all.. sound like my story.. sending love
Cptsd and adhd can have similar symptoms sometimes, but just because some symptoms are the sane, that doesn't mean the symptom stems from the same place at the same time. I think having adhd and having cptsd is tough because of that. But if your medications are working, I'm very happy for you.
Congratulations on your new life. 🙂
Know you are loved with an everlasting love from our Heavenly Father YAH Most High. May you receive all the help and healing you may desire. My heart goes out to you, and thank you for courageously sharing this with us.
This explains alot for me. I love how thorough and knowledgable she is with these disorders, because it helps alot of folk understand others and themselves when they have no explanation. Big thank you.
I lost my memory of everyone and everything 29 years ago due to years of trauma and other events and still have holes in it. Dr Ramani is right about how it only takes a trigger of some form to reignite the trauma and associated pain again and in some cases to totally relive the event/s all over.
It also doesn't help when you have narcissists in your life causing the triggers.
I do a lot of journaling when this happens just to keep my sanity and deal with the effects these traumas have had on me throughout my life.
I'm learning more than I ever bargained for but now have a much clearer understanding about so many people and things
I have ADHD, as well as CPTSD. So that’s super fun. Adhd runs in my family on both sides and all my kids have it, so I’m not just mistaking one for the other. I’ve been diagnosed with both, by more than one doctor.
Sounds tough
Me too :(
Same it isn't fun
I think undiagnosed and untreated ADHD in parents and/or children can lead to CPTSD for the children. I have both as well!
I’m thinking I could have both although I just got diagnosed with CPTSD. Idk if I have that though either way it fucking sucks.
The most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with is experiencing the feelings from past traumas. It wasn’t so much the memories that were triggered, it was that rush of emotion and fear and instant want - NEED - to react and protect myself. In 2015 I found EMDR. It was the ABSOLUTE BEST therapy of my life! Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to get into any therapy for a few years, however, my brain has been trained and I’m able to use all I’ve learned. My life is so SO much better now.