8 Keys to a Healthy Sex Life | Tips from a Couple's Therapist

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  • Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
  • BOOK MENTIONED//
    Eight Dates by John Gottman Ph.D. & , Julie Schwartz Gottman Ph.D: amzn.to/3rsnW2h
    TIMESTAMPS//
    00:00 - Intro
    01:46 - Tip 1
    02:43 - Tip 2
    08:32 - Tip 3
    10:34 - Tip 4
    12:00 - Tip 5
    13:51 - Tip 6
    15:50 - Tip 7
    17:06 - Tip 8
    18:36 - Sex Self-Assessment
    FIND A THERAPIST//
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    www.whatsanyamind.com
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    EXAM STUDY PREP (that I use)//
    American Association for The Behavioral Sciences Study (AATBS) Volume I & II (15% Discount): www.talkable.com/x/0pWfTO
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 114

  • @MamaCancer23
    @MamaCancer23 4 місяці тому +194

    I’m single but watching this for future reference ✍🏾☺️ Happy Valentines Day Steph to you & your hubby 💌

  • @ItsTasia21
    @ItsTasia21 4 місяці тому +41

    Omg I can't wait for your reaction on love is blind season 6

  • @BeautiifulliMade
    @BeautiifulliMade 3 місяці тому +23

    Thank you! Men please be aware that a women not reaching the O every single time is NOT a bad reflection on you. Sometimes we just want intimacy.

    • @thetravelgoods2760
      @thetravelgoods2760 Місяць тому +1

      True enough but once I got it during vaginal sex and now I’m very much disappointed if my can’t do it.. and he can’t😢

  • @coreybrownCYoBrown
    @coreybrownCYoBrown 4 місяці тому +40

    This was great. I would love a segment specifically on how to share fantasies and how to respond to incompatible kinks.

    • @lildb9
      @lildb9 3 місяці тому +6

      For the kinks: You could make a list like a stoplight (red yellow green). Red is ever want to try it, yellow okay with trying it under certain circumstances, red not trying that at all and go from there. Both of you make a list and compare. You’d be surprised how much green you have in common.
      For the fantasies: there’s never a “good time” for a hard convo but a soft open helps such as “are you open to hearing some of the wild stuff I’ve wanted to do together” and go from there. Don’t make it an ultimatum or a surprise. Make it a goal to work towards.

    • @coreybrownCYoBrown
      @coreybrownCYoBrown 3 місяці тому +1

      @@lildb9 this is so helpful. Wow!!

    • @phelofipaza
      @phelofipaza 3 місяці тому

      @@lildb9wow this is so helpful lol, thank you 🙏🏽

  • @tammyg8659
    @tammyg8659 4 місяці тому +39

    Libido mismatch!! Thanks for the terminology so I can research some solutions but it has been challenging

    • @mrsjessicalove27
      @mrsjessicalove27 4 місяці тому +1

      I just learned this term. It’s something that we’re going to discuss in couple therapy. Glad to know there’s a name for it.

    • @ruralrex
      @ruralrex 3 місяці тому

      Hi Tammy its really a great source of pains to have oneself in a relationship characterized by libidinal mismatch. This is actually gradually tearing me away from my love... Help pls.

  • @demitra5148
    @demitra5148 4 місяці тому +20

    Kiss , talk about sex , change your setting , compliments, cuddling, date your partner, don’t make orgasm a issue , specialist if needed

  • @markeshiaanderson6781
    @markeshiaanderson6781 4 місяці тому +16

    This is great content definitely helpful and I've been married almost 22 yrs learned something new

  • @francine2493
    @francine2493 4 місяці тому +2

    So glad I found your channel❤ maybe feature some of these other practitioners you mentioned?

  • @lexieburnafteruroll
    @lexieburnafteruroll 4 місяці тому +27

    Needed this on today

  • @lucase.rosadomartinez4346
    @lucase.rosadomartinez4346 4 місяці тому +3

    Gracias, the sugestions toward the end are really important and helpfull... tantra is misundertood by many but it's practice is also a life style that compliments individual needs.

  • @laqueshabowman1252
    @laqueshabowman1252 4 місяці тому +3

    So much is going on in love is blind season 6 I can’t wait for your thoughts!!

  • @NotAMuse
    @NotAMuse 4 місяці тому +17

    Taking notes! Thank you Steph!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому

      Thank you for watching! ♥️

  • @ddc1986
    @ddc1986 4 місяці тому +12

    Thank you so so much for making a video like this… coming from a mom caring for 2 under 2 and struggling with my husband in this department

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому +6

      I hope that you two find your stride together soon

  • @patricekendrick4389
    @patricekendrick4389 3 місяці тому

    I really appreciate this video. It's really helpful and I'm considering so much introspectively.

  • @krystalgoethe8007
    @krystalgoethe8007 4 місяці тому +2

    This is a great video! Thanks for the tips. ❤

  • @wearethetwoforever
    @wearethetwoforever 3 місяці тому

    So valuable! Thank you!
    I've definitely noticed that the more I have, the more I desire. But then also the opposite happens, and 3-4 weeks without go by so fast. I've been stressing out bc I was worried that my husband is unsatisfied, even though he always said he's fine. So it's def some expectations in my mind that I have yet to release.

  • @jennacob00
    @jennacob00 4 місяці тому +17

    This is so great! I'm currently engaged after 4 years of dating and I'll use some of these tips. This is so very helpful

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому +2

      I'm so glad! Congratulations on your engagement!!

  • @astronmx
    @astronmx 4 місяці тому +36

    loving this type of content!! will you also be reacting to the new love is blind season?❤❤

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому +13

      I plan on it!

    • @mrsjessicalove27
      @mrsjessicalove27 4 місяці тому

      Yay!

    • @aquafina6544
      @aquafina6544 4 місяці тому

      ​@@StephAnyacan you do a video about fixing pain due to years of no sex and what aging does to the vagina plz

  • @summerwillow4178
    @summerwillow4178 4 місяці тому +2

    Steph! My girl! This was an amazing video! Ps… I’m entering session two in my MMFT program! Life changing!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому

      So glad that you’re loving your program!! (And the video- thank you!)

  • @rmy_Youtube
    @rmy_Youtube 4 місяці тому +20

    Okkkaaayyy! Im loving the spicy topic! 😉

  • @geno5169
    @geno5169 4 місяці тому +4

    I really needed this topic ! Seriously! I have to say you’re gorgeous!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому +2

      Thank you so much!! I'm glad that this is a helpful topic for you.

  • @dyamondscott130
    @dyamondscott130 3 місяці тому +1

    I needed to hear this ❤

  • @lthomas6022
    @lthomas6022 4 місяці тому

    These were good tips. Thank you!

  • @parchitawales
    @parchitawales 4 місяці тому

    Thanks so much for this! It came at the right time! ❤

  • @dv.harris
    @dv.harris 4 місяці тому +9

    thx girly for this video, my man is in the army but when he comes back in a year oh baby it’s overrr 😂❤

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому +3

      😂 Love that for you!!

  • @joseuesi
    @joseuesi 3 місяці тому +1

    Great teaching. Thanks a lot.

  • @abigailllllllllll
    @abigailllllllllll 3 місяці тому +2

    i’m in a lesbian relationship and i feel as if our main issue is neither of us initiate. we do pretty much all of the tips in this video yet still go through months of dry spells. i’ve also learned about myself that i get turned off very quickly, so even if i’m in the mood, and try to initiate, i can completely lose the desire after a few minutes of “foreplay”😕

  • @TheMarriedMillennial
    @TheMarriedMillennial 4 місяці тому +2

    So helpful! Thank you! ❤ I love a good informative video that I can send my hubby at times, as well as clients when needed. (Fellow MFT here) ❤

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому +1

      Love that validation from a fellow MFT! Thanks for the support ♥️

    • @TheMarriedMillennial
      @TheMarriedMillennial 4 місяці тому

      @@StephAnya you're very welcome!! 🤞🏾

  • @aka_ren
    @aka_ren 4 місяці тому +1

    Helpful information ❤

  • @sophiesoapbox
    @sophiesoapbox 4 місяці тому

    Thank you so much for sharing this! 🙏❤

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому

      Thank you so much for watching ♥️

  • @juli-pie
    @juli-pie 4 місяці тому +8

    Steph love your takes!
    You reference 8 Dates a lot (for good reason, it’s such a great book). I recently read Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel. It has some interesting takes, some of which stand in opposition to Gottman’s ideas of intimacy. I feel like I learned more with Gottman but resonated so so much with Perel, I would love to know your thoughts on it!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому +3

      I’ll check that out! Thank you!

    • @xDiananas
      @xDiananas 4 місяці тому

      What are the things that stand in opposition? I’m curious now 😮

    • @juli-pie
      @juli-pie 4 місяці тому

      @@xDiananas 8 Dates suggests that relationships thrive the more we forge closeness, Mating In Captivity suggests that they thrive with a significant dose of separation. Really great read, highly recommend it!

  • @joellochhead3133
    @joellochhead3133 6 днів тому +1

    Thank you for this informative VIDEO I busted to it

  • @ginasreview1030
    @ginasreview1030 3 місяці тому

    Okaaaay but like spicytopics are EVERYTHING to me.

  • @CadenTV16
    @CadenTV16 4 місяці тому

    Great tips!

  • @wondimukuma4328
    @wondimukuma4328 3 місяці тому

    really I appreciate you what you teach about family and marriage in generally .I need your help to be marriage therapist

  • @hope9204
    @hope9204 2 місяці тому

    Do you do Q&A videos? I have a question about intimacy in marriage, childhood trauma from molestation etc.

  • @mindset_olympics2
    @mindset_olympics2 4 місяці тому +1

    Im obsessed with #1😂

  • @clint8623
    @clint8623 4 місяці тому

    Thank you!!!! ❤

  • @MaddiGirl16
    @MaddiGirl16 4 місяці тому +2

    Stephanie…there’s a new season of Love is Blind 😅😅. Would love to get your professional opinion and thoughts on this season because girl…it’s a lot going on!

  • @prettypls841
    @prettypls841 3 місяці тому +2

    For the first one, I realized that I didn’t like kissing my partner for more than a few seconds / wouldn’t get too intimate because if I did then they immediately assumed we’d be having sex. I tried saying that I’d like to kiss or make out for a little bit without always feeling pressured to have to “put out” essentially and it’s not getting through. Do you have any advice or suggestions for talking with them about that?

  • @r.mitchcullins1299
    @r.mitchcullins1299 4 місяці тому +1

    This woman is special. Love everything bout you.

  • @londonstackhouse4145
    @londonstackhouse4145 4 місяці тому +1

    Beautiful woman 😍 great job

  • @Gautam_Evergreen
    @Gautam_Evergreen 3 місяці тому

    TEALY GREAT YOUR VEDIO AND GOOD EXPRIANCE .

  • @kaylamp6599
    @kaylamp6599 4 місяці тому +2

    So my biggest problem is knowing what to ask for? I'm not very experienced when it comes to sex 😅 I have the basics and find it very enjoyable, but I feel like something is missing that I can't quite put my finger on. Does that make sense?

  • @allenbrown8888
    @allenbrown8888 4 місяці тому +1

    For men suffering from ED high chances are there is circulation problem great thing is there are services that can help with that like stretch zone or stretchlab

    • @geno5169
      @geno5169 4 місяці тому

      Ive been suffering with my erectien. Since my early . 40’s! I’ll be. 56 in June,!

    • @allenbrown8888
      @allenbrown8888 4 місяці тому

      @geno5169 do you know if you live near a stretchzone or stretchlab or anywhere that is offering practitioner assisted stretching?

  • @uneuroalafois9313
    @uneuroalafois9313 4 місяці тому +1

    Coulomg i was wondering if you could cover the " who TF did i marry story" i am surr they are some gems we can take for that

  • @eessaaiidd
    @eessaaiidd 4 місяці тому

    Gracias 🙂

  • @justmary1384
    @justmary1384 4 місяці тому +2

    Is it odd to like someone but the way they dress puts you off, makes you feel less attracted to them? I’m getting to know someone and he’s a nice person but I don’t like the way he dresses and I feel bad because shouldn’t we accept people the way they are? But I want to look at my partner with desire. How do you bring that to them? It would be nice if you could talk about this. Thank you

  • @gloriathompson4010
    @gloriathompson4010 3 місяці тому

    You have a nice skin clean and smooth

  • @stalinsubbiah3238
    @stalinsubbiah3238 3 місяці тому

    Remedy for thyroid and bilateral tubal block

  • @sonyawix5871
    @sonyawix5871 3 місяці тому

    Im sexually inactive and never have had a sexual relationship with anyone other than myself. Being 21 yo, almost 22, its does sometimes makes me think, that its might be a turn off for some people, in the future. However, for now Im really working on my creativity (this is really important for me to feel accomplished), education, finances…many things that are crucial for my peace of mind and self-esteem. And I really don’t think that relationship is something that I have means to pursue, being at the place in life that Im currently in, because its really important for me to have financial independence and being my own person before inviting another in my space and building connection with them. Plus, I have some non-negotiable values, that are difficult to come across in the county I live in rn. Especially, when it comes to men.
    So yeah, not an advice I can apply rn. But would it stop me from watching? Nope.
    (2) Being someone who considers touch one of my main love languages, I cannot imagine how unappreciated I would feel if my partner would just “peck” me on regular instead of proper kissing. Or now kissing at all? Nope.

  • @rossellaemanuele2271
    @rossellaemanuele2271 4 місяці тому

    how do you know if you have issues with the pelvic floor?

  • @pamelamarie4930
    @pamelamarie4930 3 місяці тому +1

    currently peri menuposal.....argh

  • @djican2146
    @djican2146 4 місяці тому

    Please I want to know wat to do when my partner doesn’t have any love towards me no more what do I need to do?

  • @dinabah4813
    @dinabah4813 4 місяці тому +4

    Amazing tips ! So aligned with what you said. We tend to seek orgasm blindly without focussing in sharing this intimate moment.

  • @cynaraecolbert4192
    @cynaraecolbert4192 4 місяці тому +2

    ❤❤❤

  • @rameshaarkalgud2733
    @rameshaarkalgud2733 29 днів тому

    Please suggest medicines for ed and sperm count improves my age is 70

  • @TheEmmaaeriksson
    @TheEmmaaeriksson 4 місяці тому

    Very helpful!
    Can you list the the tantric sex practitioners so I can get more information about sex without orgasm? ☺️

  • @akadirnilavane2861
    @akadirnilavane2861 3 місяці тому

    Wow!

  • @geno5169
    @geno5169 4 місяці тому

    I just found your channel! We’ll be married 33 years ! Been together over 34! My wife used to want sex ! She used to be crazy about me! Show her affection ! Intimacy was there from jet! I tell her everyday how much I love her! Crave for curvy body and how sexy her curves are! I tell her everyday how beautiful she is! How beautiful she looks !! I miss that intimacy from her! Thank you for everything you do to help us

  • @user-lf7sg9vf8v
    @user-lf7sg9vf8v 3 місяці тому

    Hi

  • @j.k4987
    @j.k4987 4 місяці тому +4

    One thing i dont like is kissing. I love cuddles nd sex nd other stuff but i feel nothing when i kiss. Is this weird🙄

    • @margretmauno1285
      @margretmauno1285 4 місяці тому

      Same.. My kissing experience has always been meh😢

    • @Xoxo.baby94
      @Xoxo.baby94 4 місяці тому

      Im the same! I don’t like making out

    • @geno5169
      @geno5169 4 місяці тому

      See I try to kiss my wife! When we do. ! She doesn’t go on it! And take those moments with me

  • @abdulrazack1955
    @abdulrazack1955 3 місяці тому

    I never had sex. How can I have it ?

  • @stalinsubbiah3238
    @stalinsubbiah3238 3 місяці тому

    Remedy for sperm watery, less sperm count, low sperm motility and sperm cells active/healthy

  • @letsseelezly
    @letsseelezly 4 місяці тому

    I've been the one to communicate and be open to sex while my bf has been very reserved. Prefers p*rn over me. And we've been together for 5 years. I followed these exact tips before this video and now with this video, it's a reminder that I have attempted, and my bf is not willing to change. Is there anything else I can do?

    • @geno5169
      @geno5169 4 місяці тому +1

      How can your boyfriend choose porn over You?? I was Dow that rabbit hole! I knew I had bro stop because my wife

  • @chanelstafford-uw6eg
    @chanelstafford-uw6eg 4 місяці тому +1

    It’s obvious he’s a user but I wonder why. I’m not benefiting in anyway.😅

  • @Heothbremel
    @Heothbremel 4 місяці тому +1

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @lawrencegenyard4250
    @lawrencegenyard4250 3 місяці тому

    I want to add another woman to our sex life how can I do that?

  • @popa213
    @popa213 4 місяці тому +1

    You’ll be surprised how hard #2 is to do with women. They hate to discuss.

  • @hallelaude2447
    @hallelaude2447 4 місяці тому +3

    This has nothing to do with the video but I’m hoping to watch your review on the new season of love is blind it’s veryyyyy interesting 🤣🫢

  • @MoeLife
    @MoeLife 4 місяці тому +3

    This video was so fantastic! Everything was relevant and direct but not overwhelming. I really appreciate everything you said, even as a single person who desires marriage in the future, I’ll be taking everything you shared into consideration and applying it! 🫶🏾

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 місяці тому +1

      I’m so glad that you enjoyed it and find it helpful!