Micah came off as lacking self awareness, no emotional intelligence, and not knowing what she wants. I don’t think she wanted Paul, she just wanted him to want her. So when he said No, it was a blow to her ego.
I don’t even think Micah wanted Kwame. Him handling the rejection so well (at least to her face) was damaging to her ego and she was flirting to try and get some confirmation that she could’ve had him back if she wanted to.
Corrreeeeect. She even insinuated to Irina after the breakup with Kwame that she thought his reaction was “weird”. Like she expected (hoped??) he’d be more upset. Manipulative.
yep. and i also absolutely do not believe she'd have said yes to Paul if he said yes. I think she just didn't want to be the one to be the "mean one" to dump him at the altar and was hoping/knew he would say no for her so she could be the victim.
@@mickal777every time someone says they're an empath, especially on reality tv they turn out to be a really rude and self centered person. It's been a trend so much that people noticed it and turned it into a meme
Same. I literally rolled my eyes so hard when she said that.. it's a show don't tell sort of skill, think of the incels that are 'stuck' being the 'nice guys' only... They aren't actually nice . Same energy.
I think when Micah said she was an empath, she meant she emulates people that she's around. Around Paul she's more laid back and with Irena she leaned into that mean girl thing. She's not an empath she just goes with the flow
Wow, you just articulated this perfectly. So many people confuse the two, I think it's actually a thin line. I can think of times sometimes when I think I'm being empathetic but actually I'm just mirroring. Lots to think about, thanks! 🩷
I wish you had touched upon those many moments of Micah dissing Paul. She made many snide comments about the way he dressed, his home decor, the way that he spoke, etc. I think I remember her saying something like “I wish I didn’t have to defend Paul” (to her friends I’m assuming) and that just rubbed me the wrong way. You’re dating the nerdy scientist guy and you’re mad that he dresses and acts like… a nerdy scientist?
Hard agree! I felt like she was a bit of a bully to him, albeit shielded by 'humor,' and I wouldn't want to parent with someone presenting those characteristics either.
While he dresses just fine, it's just not her style. Her shitting on his home decor was just painful. Especially because it looks like he did put effort into that space. She's not even considering living there for a while
I found it intriguing that Paul appeared unaffected by Michah's flirtatious behavior towards Kwame, even after it was openly discussed during the reunion.
YES! The moment they both agreed to be with each other because they felt threatened to loose the upper hand in the game, I knew there was no way this relationship would’ve last long-term.
TBH I don't think choosing a partner who has the same kind of emotional hangups as you is necessarily a bad thing. I think they *were* able to connect with each other on that level. Probably one of the few things that made them work at all.
@@vanyadolly nah... I don't think agreeing to marry someone based off of nothing other than some vague "similar emotional hangups" leads to actual good relationships at all. And the relationship we're discussing only serves as evidence - they did NOT work at all. Dating for a few weeks without kílling eachother doesn't mean the relationship "worked" lmfao
@@meowJACK I'm not saying that at all. Just that being on a similar level as to how emotionally open they are isn't necessarily a bad thing. People can really get on each other's nerves if one wants more than the other can give. But like I said, they had a bunch of other issues But I think OP either edited their post or I responded to the wrong one lol.
I don't believe that Micah was going to say yes...I think she punted to Paul because she thought he would say no, and she wanted to look like the victim
Interesting! I thought Shelby just wanted Micah for herself. And I thought Micah kept her around because she wants the people in her life to worship her and Paul not submitting to Shelby's judgement was in someone a balking of Micah's power order. I felt like everything was about power. Micah has a minion in Irina. A knight in Shelby, and she decided it might work with Paul after she manipulated him into dumping someone for her before he was ready. Also, I thought the reason they focused on what Paul said about Micah not being a mom is because the show wanted to get Micah out of taking any responsibility for her actions on the show as they plan to cast her on another show so they want people to forget quickly. I actually didn't take issue with Paul saying she wouldn't make a good mom because from what I saw on the show she wouldn't and that's a good reason not to marry someone. But it honestly hurt watching them harp on it during the reunion. I don't think that was helpful to Micah and it felt bad to watch her relive. The whole 'inspiring it out of her's just felt like rubbing her nose in a trait she genuinely does not have. Also, I don't think Micah's ego could have ever survived being rejected so they were always going to breakup after the wedding.
I felt that the reason she didn't have issue with confronting Irina wasn't because she wasn't afraid of "hard talks" it was because Irina was her underling and she was supposed to be doing what Micah told her to, and Irina flirting with her catch was disrespecting her power stance, not the friendship and she wanted to put her back in line. It wasn't a hard discussion, she didn't have a friend to loose because they didn't have a genuine friendship to begin with.
One thing that really stuck out to me was that you see one scene of Paul gifting flowers to Amber and being into her and out of the sudden he hears Kwame speak of Micah and how he sees her and right after that he tells Micah he is falling in love with her.... It definitely felt like they wanted to "win the competition"
Stephanya, I know you’re probably tired of reviewing love is blind but I would for you to do a video on Love Is Blind Season 1! The dynamic between Giannina & Damian, there’s so much to talk about there. The love quad between Amber, Barnett, Jessica & Mark. Diamond’s breakup with her match (sorry forgot his name) - that was a very emotionally charged scene. & the golden couple, Lauren & Cam. I would love to see a video on all of them!
Steph I would LOVE to see you talk about Love Is Blind Japan! Things were so different in that part of the world and I'm very interested to see how culture affected how they did the experiment from the Western production.
You are so intuitive and I absolutely love these videos! Your breakdowns are something we can all learn from and apply in our own lives. Thanks for putting in your time to create these videos 👏
I appreciate how you are trying to be objective but I think you have a lot more faith in Micah than she deserves. As you said, she is manipulative and plays people like a chessboard. But then you say she changes so we don't know who she really is...? It's pretty clear she's a very opportunistic person who changes who she is based on the situation in order to gain power. I love your takes Steph because you try to be therapeutic and fair, but we gotta call a spade a spade 😆
I had a friend who said similiar things to Micah about loyalty and compassion/empathy, yet I watched her do several things in her friendships and relationships that were seriously questionable. Especially the aspect of accusing others of being flirtatious with their man, while being just as bad with other people’s significant other, and even cheating on their partner
Vanessa wants Love is Blind to be a drama show. She either needs to step down as a host or get training for this kind of hosting because it’s not working when you’re trying to make men who are mature enough to take responsibility for their mistakes and clarify their intentions, when also given the opportunity, look bad for no reason. She’s biased and judgmental.
I don't see anything wrong with a man commenting on not seeing a woman as a mother. A woman can say that she can't see a man as a father and there's no uproar. Let's not have a double standard. And we saw that he was correct because we saw Micah acting like The Wicked Witch of The West and like she was for the streets. Nothing she was doing screamed I am ready to be a mother, let alone wife. At the end of the day, the truth hurts. I just wish Paul would have picked Amber instead. I think they would have had a chance to be married today. Oh....and I HATED how Vanessa was trying to come for his head at the reunion.
Am I the only one who understood what Paul meant when he said he didn't see her as a mother and didn't find it offensive or sexist? I think that there are some traits in parenthood as a whole that can SOMETIMES indicate whether someone would up "good" or at least "ready." For instance, is she self-less? Is she nurturing? Can he see her putting that child first with him? Can he see her being vulnerable and attentive. Sure, his observation may not be fair and accurate but if I want my husband to be willing to play dress up with the kids but in the now, he won't even watch a movie I like that's not his taste or go out of his way, I'm going to have a hard time envisioning him being able to be that accommodating for a kid. He's seen her many times be mean or unaware and maybe even other things we haven't seen and perhaps that gives him pause. I'm just saying, I understand what he may have been thinking and trying to say.
This was an EXCELLENT analysis and you opened my eyes and confirmed my own feelings about Micah (mean girl or not? And the nature of her 'friends') and opened my eyes to the competitive nature of Paul and Micah and how that played into their other relationshios eg Kwame and Micah. Which just speaks to Micah's lack of authenticity. I didn't understand why Paul broke up with Micah and didn't understand his reasoning, which appeared weak and he seemed extremely cold and detached about it on the wedding day, even in the face of Micah's distress. He seemed totally unbothered and matter of fact about it. Your analysis helped me to at least understand why he broke up but I still think he was very cold and detached. You broke this down and dissected it. LOVED it. New subscriber!
He talked to a girl from the show, then he continued with Micah, after she broke up he broke up with her because he didn't believe in a long distance relationship, which they both said that in no case would a long distance relationship work. All the public accuses her, but he had a girlfriend at the time of filming the reunions, he had a girlfriend until this moment and he admitted that was talking to M and he even said that he loved her, how do you say that on TV when you have a girlfriend? why would you still want to keep such a close relationship with your ex? Why was he so bothered that M went on vacation with another man a month after the breakup? When he said that he dating with another girl from the show, he did not exclusively, but he claimed that they went out several times, she said that they talked even when he was with M.
At 29:38-29:39 you can see a micro expression of gleefulness. She smiles a tiny bit. This is called dupers delight. She knows she’s manipulating and she’s enjoying getting away with it.
Yeah I couldn’t get a good read on Micah. She was either an evil manipulator or a follower that tried to please everyone. I was honestly shocked about her reaction to Paul not saying “ I do” and thought it was performative but wasn’t sure. Then when Paul said that they tried and it didn’t work it solidified that it was performative paired with embarrassment paired with “losing” and not necessarily on love
I can’t stop envisioning her as a honey pot- one of those attractive women used to spy and get men into her web for ulterior motives. She loves the chase, the control, and morphs herself into any situation easily. Fascinating.
Hi! Thank you for your videos . I have just realized that your eyes look very similar to the eyes of Bliss. Both of you are very beautiful women, with pure hearts and sweet faces❤
She seems like a people pleaser to me. She does stuff to impress the "mean girls" so she gets acceptance there. And she is aware she is doing it but she then uses that self tattling as proof of her self awareness to please Paul
At the reunion, Paul ultimately said he was fine with the kwame Micah interactions and she knew the line not to cross. I do wish at the reunion that Zach would've stfu and minded his business so we couldve heard how Paul would've responded
I think what was confusing about what Paul was saying is that he expected her to be a particular way without communicating his thoughts and feelings. He just wanted to stand back and see. Micah's not a mindreader that something is bothering him.
I get that but I think he wanted to see who she truly was at her core. Someone who is insensitive doesn't just become sensitive because you tell them, but they may pretend for a while to get what they want.
I think he meant that he wanted her to naturally show that side of herself, without prompting. I think his point was that telling her would’ve made her change her behavior than how she normally acts, so he felt that she would’ve been changing herself in a way to be with him. I think what’s interesting is how suspicious Micah and Paul were of the other person not being genuine
What the others said, plus you can communicate openly as you suggest with someone you are certain is being honest and non manipulative with you. Otherwise, you may get someone who shows you what you say you want to see.
He wanted her to he herself - and she was! She showed herself to be someone he wouldn’t want to procreate with. For multiple reasons. He met her representative in the pods. When he communicated what he was looking for and she gave it him. So he sat back and watched who she showed herself to be when she wasn’t in competition mode or trying to be something she wasn’t and he didn’t like it
No one should ever be an expected way, but themselves. That is exactly why he didn't tell her. The worst thing is if someone tells the other one on how to be (if it is a whole character thing, not "please don't leave your underwear on the floor").
On the contrary, I don’t think Micah was going to say yes. If you have doubts about what the other person will say, they probably shouldn’t have even made it to the altar and had multiple conversations. It felt kinda like “if you say yes, I’ll say yes”. Just a bad look overall for them.
Very late to the party… 😂 just started to watch your videos and I love them! I think Micah simply cares more about other people’s opinions than her own. She wants to be accepted, admired and envied. That’s why it’s important for her that other people see Paul as a catch, she doesn’t have any confidence in her own opinions, if her friends don’t see it then she don’t see it. That’s why she keeps Kwame close because she wants to be wanted, desired. Her value is based in other people’s opinion. I’m not a fan of her but it is sad really
I don't think Paul messed up by saying, "I don't think she would be a good mother", makes sense, because that's what men look for, I think he clarified what he meant about being nurturing, enough...that's what men look for in a woman, just as women look for men who will protect them and make them feel safe, but also be able to control themselves and be a good dad...it goes both ways. Women and men need to work together in rearing children, it's not only on the mother, without a good support, from a man who is going to take care of their wife and children it falls apart. I think he was right in that Micha, at this point isn't mature enough to be selfless to have kids, at this moment....I'm certain she will one day, we are all learning, especially in our 20's.
Let me tell you something, when little miss Shelby hopped on the scene, I wish the camera people had just kick, ball changed to another function. She just was NOT it. She’s not a friend. That’s not how friends behave and treat each other.
What I think is funny about these super mean spirited people entering this show (Micah, Irene, Shelby) is that they *know* they are going to be filmed constantly. Like you need to have either 0 self awareness to think you can do this mean stuff and not expect people to hate you.
I wanna say that Paul was not wrong in his opinion and decision. Also I am in the opinion that Micah gave Paul the opportunity to speak first because she expected him to say yes, so she can have the power to say no. (not me binging on all of these) Micah is an example of the Blondes vs Brunettes debate/competition. I saw Micah as someone that is driven to conquer or stand above others that she sees as competition. She really only pushed the connection with Paul in the pods after seeing that his connection with Amber was so strong (like giving her gifts and hearing about the depths of their conversations). Then to find out Paul is deemed attractive by other women (that she thinks are at her level) she made sure to emphasize their connection to ice out anyone else.
@@StephAnya me too just curious are you accepting any new Pt and do you do virtual. I just love you as a therapist and I am looking for someone just like you lol
I'm always so conflicted about Micah... she did so many mean things but I still don't think she's a totally "mean girl" type of person. I think she's immature and likes attention and seems to copy the "energy" of people around her. Obviously still not right and she needs to take accountability of what she's done and how it affects other people. But Irina on the other hand.... 😳 Edited to add: ...years ago when I was a teen, I had similarities to Micah. Kinda felt like I needed to compete with other girls and liked attention, was kinda quick to poke fun at people.....I also had a best friend who was similar to Shelby... it wasn't until she started treating our other mutual friend (and slowly seeing the red flags) that I took a step back and realized who I was friends with and how that was affecting me negatively as well. Now, years later and not being friends anymore I cringe at how I used to act with her. 😮
I hope this isn't too personal, but I am curious about your last name. Are you or your spouse African? Thank you so much for this love is blind series it has been so informative and helpful. Love your nails btw!!
Micah thinks shes a 10 but shes very average. Her friends put her on a pedestal and she was prob popular in highschool with her mindtricks on weak young people, but in real life that just makes u look like a psychopath. Shes 27 maybe time to realise shes not 12 anymore.
There’s only one personality type she seems to fit into: good ol’ narcissist. She doesn’t seem to be able to get in touch with her emotions. Her sweet moments or when she’s expressing herself comes across as a superficial copying of what she thinks is sweet or touching, because of cookie-cutter phrases. She agrees a lot and seems to mirror others. Controls, manipulates, competes for attention, hypocritical standards, vilifies Paul in reunion, doesn’t care when others are hurting.
Micha mentioned in a podcast that the friend in the vid where he’s “passing” her (idk), her and Paul follow each other and they like each others photos, I don’t know if that’s true but 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I personally am more likely to believe Paul in this that it was nothing and he did simply just bump into her at the wedding. HOWEVER, with that said I wouldn’t be surprised if maybe they started talking after the show or something so maybe that’s why they follow eachother and stuff now. Idk, stuff like that happens in real life so it wouldn’t shock me.
Is no one going to talk about how toxic Paul's mother was to her own son. She told Micah he's dating someone else but I don't like it because if it's not you it shouldn't be anybody. She said I can break them up for you if you like. I just found that very toxic and I would hate if my mum behaved that way.
I am sooooooo grateful for this video. I didn't have an issue at all with Paul's explanations about why he said no or why Micah wanted him to answer first. Vanessa just cannot take herself out of the equation and listen to what people are telling her. I love your balanced perspective and how you always give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I hope Micah can get away from the toxic women she seems to want to surround herself with, because I do think deep down, she's a sweet person who can do better and be better. Sigh!
Hi! I love your videos. The 5 signs of love language has really helped my relationship. I was wondering if you'd be interested in watching Married At First Sight?
I know it’s not good to diagnose or make assumptions, but I’m pretty sure Micah has an avoidant attachment style with possible covert narcisstic tendencies. Just my opinion though lol
10:51 this happens all the time on these kinds of shows, and the problem is the format of the show, being that they are getting very, very involved with multiple people at once. In the real world, most people don't do that, and for good reason. Because when you inevitably have to make a choice, it seems impossible because sometimes there genuinely *isn't* any reason to break up with one of the people. How can you explain why you're breaking up with someone when nothing has gone wrong? The only thing that has "gone wrong" is that he is dating two people and has to choose one. I like these shows for drama, but it's a terrible way to meet someone and a terrible way to date. Most people who are in a relationship where nothing is wrong, are not going to break up with their great partner out of nowhere. So it's very confusing and upsetting and hard to manage.
If Micah was going to say yes then she could've said yes and she knows Analytical Paul's answer would still be the same. I think she didn't want to be the bad guy for saying no -Either way, punting the wedding vow to Paul was about her saving face and letting Paul take the heat.
Will you react to Love is Blind Japan Edition too (long shot but I just watched it)? From 8 engaged couples to only 2 making it, I think it might be interesting to have your opinion on it as well :) Thanks from France ^^
So I'm not into astrology much, but when I saw Micah, I was like, "THAT'S a Pisces right there." I was right 😂 She was impossible to get a read on. I don't think she was being disingenuous. She was just all over the place with her feelings and thoughts and priorities ALL THE TIME
In my experience, people who say they are empaths are tend to be the complete opposite. The person she believes she is very different from who she actually is. I didn't see her act empathetic or say anything empathetic the who season. I think she's fake and only shit comes out her mouth. If your friends are garbage, chances are, you are probably garbage because birds of a feather, flock together.
PLEASEEE make a video about khanya from the ultimatum South Africa. I’ve never ever seen a grown woman act the way she does and I have no clue how to read that behavior.
Random but i found this video of colleen quite interesting and was wondering if youd cover it? I know u said u were surprised that her and matt lasted as much as they had in a previous video of yours. I wonder what youd think about what she said here ua-cam.com/video/cprpQPUW4zI/v-deo.html
Micah came off as lacking self awareness, no emotional intelligence, and not knowing what she wants. I don’t think she wanted Paul, she just wanted him to want her. So when he said No, it was a blow to her ego.
100% agree
Oooooo! This is an on-point assessment!
Yep. She wants to be wanted and she wants to win.
Just see what kinda friends she is surrounded by... all mean/self-centered girls. Btw why Vanessa is still hosting the show???
100 percent!
I don’t even think Micah wanted Kwame. Him handling the rejection so well (at least to her face) was damaging to her ego and she was flirting to try and get some confirmation that she could’ve had him back if she wanted to.
Corrreeeeect. She even insinuated to Irina after the breakup with Kwame that she thought his reaction was “weird”. Like she expected (hoped??) he’d be more upset. Manipulative.
yep. and i also absolutely do not believe she'd have said yes to Paul if he said yes. I think she just didn't want to be the one to be the "mean one" to dump him at the altar and was hoping/knew he would say no for her so she could be the victim.
💯! Well said!
The minute I heard Micah say ‘I’m an empath’ I knew she was going to be a lot of drama.
She meant “psychopath.” Because that’s what she is 🙄
Why?
@Micka L if they have to tell you they are an empath... they really aren't.
@@mickal777every time someone says they're an empath, especially on reality tv they turn out to be a really rude and self centered person. It's been a trend so much that people noticed it and turned it into a meme
Same. I literally rolled my eyes so hard when she said that.. it's a show don't tell sort of skill, think of the incels that are 'stuck' being the 'nice guys' only... They aren't actually nice . Same energy.
I think when Micah said she was an empath, she meant she emulates people that she's around. Around Paul she's more laid back and with Irena she leaned into that mean girl thing. She's not an empath she just goes with the flow
Now this is an interesting take!
@@StephAnya she mirrors. She confuses that with being empathetic.
Chameleon
She did also say at the same time that she feeds of other people's energy.. That's probably why she enjoys getting reactions out of others..
Wow, you just articulated this perfectly. So many people confuse the two, I think it's actually a thin line. I can think of times sometimes when I think I'm being empathetic but actually I'm just mirroring. Lots to think about, thanks! 🩷
I wish you had touched upon those many moments of Micah dissing Paul. She made many snide comments about the way he dressed, his home decor, the way that he spoke, etc. I think I remember her saying something like “I wish I didn’t have to defend Paul” (to her friends I’m assuming) and that just rubbed me the wrong way.
You’re dating the nerdy scientist guy and you’re mad that he dresses and acts like… a nerdy scientist?
Hard agree! I felt like she was a bit of a bully to him, albeit shielded by 'humor,' and I wouldn't want to parent with someone presenting those characteristics either.
@@brylawright, like what if she started making those comments about her kids too
Yes and she also credited herself with some of his new wardrobe - (he’s dressing better because of me, I’m helping him)
Yeah, one of her bridesmaids in the bridal suite said, don't even get me started on his fashion sense, and Micah laughed.
While he dresses just fine, it's just not her style. Her shitting on his home decor was just painful. Especially because it looks like he did put effort into that space. She's not even considering living there for a while
Micah refusing to affirm and validate men, but insisting they do it for her- and them being ok with that- is wild to me!
It’s high key trash!
I need you to talk about Vanessa specifically at the reunion lol
She does more in the Marshall and Jackie video
Good God that was a mess
I agree we need a video of just Vanessa
So tired of her bs
I found it intriguing that Paul appeared unaffected by Michah's flirtatious behavior towards Kwame, even after it was openly discussed during the reunion.
I feel like real empaths don’t talk about being an empath.
Exactly. A true empath doesn’t need to say that upfront because it naturally comes out in how they relate.
The amount of times Micah says “like” is TOO much! 😂
OMG Exactly! It drove me nuts listening to her 😂
i CHOKED on my baja blast at your micah impression. "i mean like. i love you"
😂😂😂
YES! The moment they both agreed to be with each other because they felt threatened to loose the upper hand in the game, I knew there was no way this relationship would’ve last long-term.
TBH I don't think choosing a partner who has the same kind of emotional hangups as you is necessarily a bad thing. I think they *were* able to connect with each other on that level. Probably one of the few things that made them work at all.
Yeah, when proposal was accepted neither of them looked truly happy or excited. More like "so this is done"
@@vanyadolly But they did not work well...
@@vanyadolly nah... I don't think agreeing to marry someone based off of nothing other than some vague "similar emotional hangups" leads to actual good relationships at all. And the relationship we're discussing only serves as evidence - they did NOT work at all. Dating for a few weeks without kílling eachother doesn't mean the relationship "worked" lmfao
@@meowJACK I'm not saying that at all. Just that being on a similar level as to how emotionally open they are isn't necessarily a bad thing. People can really get on each other's nerves if one wants more than the other can give. But like I said, they had a bunch of other issues
But I think OP either edited their post or I responded to the wrong one lol.
I don't believe that Micah was going to say yes...I think she punted to Paul because she thought he would say no, and she wanted to look like the victim
Hello Elizabeth, ❤
Love how there's behavior pointed out in this video that isn't discussed anywhere else and that I didn't personally catch.
Micah is insanely manipulative tbh lol
Interesting! I thought Shelby just wanted Micah for herself. And I thought Micah kept her around because she wants the people in her life to worship her and Paul not submitting to Shelby's judgement was in someone a balking of Micah's power order. I felt like everything was about power. Micah has a minion in Irina. A knight in Shelby, and she decided it might work with Paul after she manipulated him into dumping someone for her before he was ready. Also, I thought the reason they focused on what Paul said about Micah not being a mom is because the show wanted to get Micah out of taking any responsibility for her actions on the show as they plan to cast her on another show so they want people to forget quickly. I actually didn't take issue with Paul saying she wouldn't make a good mom because from what I saw on the show she wouldn't and that's a good reason not to marry someone. But it honestly hurt watching them harp on it during the reunion. I don't think that was helpful to Micah and it felt bad to watch her relive. The whole 'inspiring it out of her's just felt like rubbing her nose in a trait she genuinely does not have. Also, I don't think Micah's ego could have ever survived being rejected so they were always going to breakup after the wedding.
@Sarah Small. I couldn’t agree with you more
I felt that the reason she didn't have issue with confronting Irina wasn't because she wasn't afraid of "hard talks" it was because Irina was her underling and she was supposed to be doing what Micah told her to, and Irina flirting with her catch was disrespecting her power stance, not the friendship and she wanted to put her back in line. It wasn't a hard discussion, she didn't have a friend to loose because they didn't have a genuine friendship to begin with.
One thing that really stuck out to me was that you see one scene of Paul gifting flowers to Amber and being into her and out of the sudden he hears Kwame speak of Micah and how he sees her and right after that he tells Micah he is falling in love with her.... It definitely felt like they wanted to "win the competition"
Stephanya, I know you’re probably tired of reviewing love is blind but I would for you to do a video on Love Is Blind Season 1! The dynamic between Giannina & Damian, there’s so much to talk about there. The love quad between Amber, Barnett, Jessica & Mark. Diamond’s breakup with her match (sorry forgot his name) - that was a very emotionally charged scene. & the golden couple, Lauren & Cam. I would love to see a video on all of them!
I agree!!! I was looking for those!! I would love a breakdown on Amber and Barnett, and Lauren and Cam!!
Spot on in your analysis of Shelby. Great anlysis as always. She's a nightmare.
This was SUCH a good break down. Best break down I’ve seen so far!!! Thanks for covering it 😊
I love your name!😍
@@glowingmyway aww thank you 🥰
Steph I would LOVE to see you talk about Love Is Blind Japan! Things were so different in that part of the world and I'm very interested to see how culture affected how they did the experiment from the Western production.
Thank you for your video Steph, they’ve actually helped me become self aware of my actions, words, intentions, red flags and all! Thank you ❤
You are so intuitive and I absolutely love these videos! Your breakdowns are something we can all learn from and apply in our own lives. Thanks for putting in your time to create these videos 👏
Aw, thank you! I'm so glad!
Girl i just love the way you talk
I appreciate how you are trying to be objective but I think you have a lot more faith in Micah than she deserves.
As you said, she is manipulative and plays people like a chessboard. But then you say she changes so we don't know who she really is...?
It's pretty clear she's a very opportunistic person who changes who she is based on the situation in order to gain power.
I love your takes Steph because you try to be therapeutic and fair, but we gotta call a spade a spade 😆
I couldn’t click this video faster, love these, thank you❤
I had a friend who said similiar things to Micah about loyalty and compassion/empathy, yet I watched her do several things in her friendships and relationships that were seriously questionable. Especially the aspect of accusing others of being flirtatious with their man, while being just as bad with other people’s significant other, and even cheating on their partner
Vanessa wants Love is Blind to be a drama show. She either needs to step down as a host or get training for this kind of hosting because it’s not working when you’re trying to make men who are mature enough to take responsibility for their mistakes and clarify their intentions, when also given the opportunity, look bad for no reason. She’s biased and judgmental.
Love your channel✨and these breakdowns! They’re so on point 💯
I don't see anything wrong with a man commenting on not seeing a woman as a mother. A woman can say that she can't see a man as a father and there's no uproar. Let's not have a double standard. And we saw that he was correct because we saw Micah acting like The Wicked Witch of The West and like she was for the streets. Nothing she was doing screamed I am ready to be a mother, let alone wife. At the end of the day, the truth hurts. I just wish Paul would have picked Amber instead. I think they would have had a chance to be married today. Oh....and I HATED how Vanessa was trying to come for his head at the reunion.
Am I the only one who understood what Paul meant when he said he didn't see her as a mother and didn't find it offensive or sexist? I think that there are some traits in parenthood as a whole that can SOMETIMES indicate whether someone would up "good" or at least "ready." For instance, is she self-less? Is she nurturing? Can he see her putting that child first with him? Can he see her being vulnerable and attentive. Sure, his observation may not be fair and accurate but if I want my husband to be willing to play dress up with the kids but in the now, he won't even watch a movie I like that's not his taste or go out of his way, I'm going to have a hard time envisioning him being able to be that accommodating for a kid. He's seen her many times be mean or unaware and maybe even other things we haven't seen and perhaps that gives him pause. I'm just saying, I understand what he may have been thinking and trying to say.
This was an EXCELLENT analysis and you opened my eyes and confirmed my own feelings about Micah (mean girl or not? And the nature of her 'friends') and opened my eyes to the competitive nature of Paul and Micah and how that played into their other relationshios eg Kwame and Micah. Which just speaks to Micah's lack of authenticity.
I didn't understand why Paul broke up with Micah and didn't understand his reasoning, which appeared weak and he seemed extremely cold and detached about it on the wedding day, even in the face of Micah's distress. He seemed totally unbothered and matter of fact about it. Your analysis helped me to at least understand why he broke up but I still think he was very cold and detached.
You broke this down and dissected it. LOVED it. New subscriber!
He talked to a girl from the show, then he continued with Micah, after she broke up he broke up with her because he didn't believe in a long distance relationship, which they both said that in no case would a long distance relationship work. All the public accuses her, but he had a girlfriend at the time of filming the reunions, he had a girlfriend until this moment and he admitted that was talking to M and he even said that he loved her, how do you say that on TV when you have a girlfriend? why would you still want to keep such a close relationship with your ex? Why was he so bothered that M went on vacation with another man a month after the breakup? When he said that he dating with another girl from the show, he did not exclusively, but he claimed that they went out several times, she said that they talked even when he was with M.
Wow, these videos are really fascinating 👏 Well done Steph
I havent even watched love is blind. Only little clips on UA-cam here and there. Just watching this therapist reacting is all i need to watch😅😅
Can you do a video on Vanessa’s rude behavior throughout the entire reunion??
At 29:38-29:39 you can see a micro expression of gleefulness. She smiles a tiny bit. This is called dupers delight. She knows she’s manipulating and she’s enjoying getting away with it.
I love your analysis
Thank you!
Pleaseeeee do one for Tiffany and Brett! Would loveeee to hear your perspective on a healthy relationship!
Love love love your videos
Yeah I couldn’t get a good read on Micah. She was either an evil manipulator or a follower that tried to please everyone. I was honestly shocked about her reaction to Paul not saying “ I do” and thought it was performative but wasn’t sure. Then when Paul said that they tried and it didn’t work it solidified that it was performative paired with embarrassment paired with “losing” and not necessarily on love
I can’t stop envisioning her as a honey pot- one of those attractive women used to spy and get men into her web for ulterior motives. She loves the chase, the control, and morphs herself into any situation easily. Fascinating.
I so agree with your thoughts on Shelby!!
Hi! Thank you for your videos . I have just realized that your eyes look very similar to the eyes of Bliss. Both of you are very beautiful women, with pure hearts and sweet faces❤
She seems like a people pleaser to me. She does stuff to impress the "mean girls" so she gets acceptance there. And she is aware she is doing it but she then uses that self tattling as proof of her self awareness to please Paul
Hello dear
You are so incredibly insightful! I absolutely love your content!!
At the reunion, Paul ultimately said he was fine with the kwame Micah interactions and she knew the line not to cross.
I do wish at the reunion that Zach would've stfu and minded his business so we couldve heard how Paul would've responded
I think what was confusing about what Paul was saying is that he expected her to be a particular way without communicating his thoughts and feelings. He just wanted to stand back and see. Micah's not a mindreader that something is bothering him.
I get that but I think he wanted to see who she truly was at her core. Someone who is insensitive doesn't just become sensitive because you tell them, but they may pretend for a while to get what they want.
I think he meant that he wanted her to naturally show that side of herself, without prompting. I think his point was that telling her would’ve made her change her behavior than how she normally acts, so he felt that she would’ve been changing herself in a way to be with him. I think what’s interesting is how suspicious Micah and Paul were of the other person not being genuine
What the others said, plus you can communicate openly as you suggest with someone you are certain is being honest and non manipulative with you. Otherwise, you may get someone who shows you what you say you want to see.
He wanted her to he herself - and she was! She showed herself to be someone he wouldn’t want to procreate with. For multiple reasons. He met her representative in the pods. When he communicated what he was looking for and she gave it him. So he sat back and watched who she showed herself to be when she wasn’t in competition mode or trying to be something she wasn’t and he didn’t like it
No one should ever be an expected way, but themselves. That is exactly why he didn't tell her. The worst thing is if someone tells the other one on how to be (if it is a whole character thing, not "please don't leave your underwear on the floor").
so glad that someone also feels that they never had a connection. my view totally. great video
I loved the concept of compartmentisation❤ ie separate certain difficult issues ( where to live) from how the relationship as a whole works.
Side Note ! Your hair looks great
Thank you!!!
@@StephAnya you are welcome !
yessss, finally!! I was waiting for that :D
Our favorite Internet Therapist🥹🌸
On the contrary, I don’t think Micah was going to say yes. If you have doubts about what the other person will say, they probably shouldn’t have even made it to the altar and had multiple conversations. It felt kinda like “if you say yes, I’ll say yes”. Just a bad look overall for them.
Micah was playing game of thrones.
😂😂 she really was
im sorry but micah seems like the girl that would bully you in high school. she fit the mean girl archetype to a T. paul saw through her in the end.
Steph!!! Can you please do a review on the narcissist behavior on The Ultimatum: Queer Love? It's rly interesting.
Loved the analysis you did on Chelsea, I totally agree 👏
Can you review Raven's (from love is blind) interview with Shan Boodram. I'm interested in what you have to say about her new boyfriend specifically.
Great breakdown. On point!!
“Like, like, like”….I hated hearing the way she talked and when she would come on the screen I would immediately get heated 😤🥹🥲
Oh... I'm LIKE really LIKE surprised to LIKE hear that you didn't like the way she LIKE kept saying 'like' 😅
I had to leave a “friend” behind because she didn’t want me to be in a relationship. When I found out - I found new friends.
Micah and Irina are both mean girls - and Micah surrounds herself with toxic mean girl friends.
Very late to the party… 😂 just started to watch your videos and I love them!
I think Micah simply cares more about other people’s opinions than her own. She wants to be accepted, admired and envied. That’s why it’s important for her that other people see Paul as a catch, she doesn’t have any confidence in her own opinions, if her friends don’t see it then she don’t see it. That’s why she keeps Kwame close because she wants to be wanted, desired. Her value is based in other people’s opinion. I’m not a fan of her but it is sad really
I don't think Paul messed up by saying, "I don't think she would be a good mother", makes sense, because that's what men look for, I think he clarified what he meant about being nurturing, enough...that's what men look for in a woman, just as women look for men who will protect them and make them feel safe, but also be able to control themselves and be a good dad...it goes both ways. Women and men need to work together in rearing children, it's not only on the mother, without a good support, from a man who is going to take care of their wife and children it falls apart. I think he was right in that Micha, at this point isn't mature enough to be selfless to have kids, at this moment....I'm certain she will one day, we are all learning, especially in our 20's.
Let me tell you something, when little miss Shelby hopped on the scene, I wish the camera people had just kick, ball changed to another function. She just was NOT it. She’s not a friend. That’s not how friends behave and treat each other.
Really enjoyed your analysis. Thank you.
Thanks for watching!!
Love your content!! Can you do an analysis of the relationships on Ultimatum: Queer Edition?
To me Micah seems like a real life "Guinevere Beck". Even her friends resemble the ones Beck had.
What I think is funny about these super mean spirited people entering this show (Micah, Irene, Shelby) is that they *know* they are going to be filmed constantly. Like you need to have either 0 self awareness to think you can do this mean stuff and not expect people to hate you.
I wanna say that Paul was not wrong in his opinion and decision. Also I am in the opinion that Micah gave Paul the opportunity to speak first because she expected him to say yes, so she can have the power to say no. (not me binging on all of these) Micah is an example of the Blondes vs Brunettes debate/competition. I saw Micah as someone that is driven to conquer or stand above others that she sees as competition. She really only pushed the connection with Paul in the pods after seeing that his connection with Amber was so strong (like giving her gifts and hearing about the depths of their conversations). Then to find out Paul is deemed attractive by other women (that she thinks are at her level) she made sure to emphasize their connection to ice out anyone else.
I think Shelby wanted Micah to herself and would sabotage Micha’s relationships for her own gain
Am I the only one who thinks Shelby was romantically attracted to Micah and that’s why she didn’t approve Paul?
i love how you save the best for last 🥰
Literally so excited for Brett and Tiff!
@@StephAnya me too just curious are you accepting any new Pt and do you do virtual. I just love you as a therapist and I am looking for someone just like you lol
Spot on
Please please please talk about love is blind UK
I'm always so conflicted about Micah... she did so many mean things but I still don't think she's a totally "mean girl" type of person. I think she's immature and likes attention and seems to copy the "energy" of people around her. Obviously still not right and she needs to take accountability of what she's done and how it affects other people. But Irina on the other hand.... 😳
Edited to add: ...years ago when I was a teen, I had similarities to Micah. Kinda felt like I needed to compete with other girls and liked attention, was kinda quick to poke fun at people.....I also had a best friend who was similar to Shelby... it wasn't until she started treating our other mutual friend (and slowly seeing the red flags) that I took a step back and realized who I was friends with and how that was affecting me negatively as well. Now, years later and not being friends anymore I cringe at how I used to act with her. 😮
Great video!!
May you do a video on interfaith couples if you've ever had this demographic of clients?
I hope this isn't too personal, but I am curious about your last name. Are you or your spouse African? Thank you so much for this love is blind series it has been so informative and helpful. Love your nails btw!!
Micah thinks shes a 10 but shes very average. Her friends put her on a pedestal and she was prob popular in highschool with her mindtricks on weak young people, but in real life that just makes u look like a psychopath. Shes 27 maybe time to realise shes not 12 anymore.
Love this
I got the vibe that Micah was a follower from the start. Like she was always in the popular crowd but she was Gretchen, not Regina. Irina was Regina.
Micah and Paul’s Mom had a better chemistry. They could have a spin off .
🤣
There’s only one personality type she seems to fit into: good ol’ narcissist. She doesn’t seem to be able to get in touch with her emotions. Her sweet moments or when she’s expressing herself comes across as a superficial copying of what she thinks is sweet or touching, because of cookie-cutter phrases. She agrees a lot and seems to mirror others. Controls, manipulates, competes for attention, hypocritical standards, vilifies Paul in reunion, doesn’t care when others are hurting.
Micha mentioned in a podcast that the friend in the vid where he’s “passing” her (idk), her and Paul follow each other and they like each others photos, I don’t know if that’s true but 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I personally am more likely to believe Paul in this that it was nothing and he did simply just bump into her at the wedding. HOWEVER, with that said I wouldn’t be surprised if maybe they started talking after the show or something so maybe that’s why they follow eachother and stuff now. Idk, stuff like that happens in real life so it wouldn’t shock me.
Is no one going to talk about how toxic Paul's mother was to her own son. She told Micah he's dating someone else but I don't like it because if it's not you it shouldn't be anybody. She said I can break them up for you if you like. I just found that very toxic and I would hate if my mum behaved that way.
Micah was a manipulative mean girl. She and Irina were a good match. I had no respect for her…Paul good to walk away
I am sooooooo grateful for this video. I didn't have an issue at all with Paul's explanations about why he said no or why Micah wanted him to answer first. Vanessa just cannot take herself out of the equation and listen to what people are telling her. I love your balanced perspective and how you always give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I hope Micah can get away from the toxic women she seems to want to surround herself with, because I do think deep down, she's a sweet person who can do better and be better. Sigh!
29:37 preach!!! I thought the same thing!!
Is it my computer… or is the audio off…
Hi! I love your videos. The 5 signs of love language has really helped my relationship.
I was wondering if you'd be interested in watching Married At First Sight?
I know it’s not good to diagnose or make assumptions, but I’m pretty sure Micah has an avoidant attachment style with possible covert narcisstic tendencies. Just my opinion though lol
10:51 this happens all the time on these kinds of shows, and the problem is the format of the show, being that they are getting very, very involved with multiple people at once.
In the real world, most people don't do that, and for good reason. Because when you inevitably have to make a choice, it seems impossible because sometimes there genuinely *isn't* any reason to break up with one of the people. How can you explain why you're breaking up with someone when nothing has gone wrong? The only thing that has "gone wrong" is that he is dating two people and has to choose one.
I like these shows for drama, but it's a terrible way to meet someone and a terrible way to date. Most people who are in a relationship where nothing is wrong, are not going to break up with their great partner out of nowhere. So it's very confusing and upsetting and hard to manage.
If Micah was going to say yes then she could've said yes and she knows Analytical Paul's answer would still be the same. I think she didn't want to be the bad guy for saying no -Either way, punting the wedding vow to Paul was about her saving face and letting Paul take the heat.
12.07 "Problematizes???" meaning :-)
“make into or regard as a problem requiring a solution.”
Hope this helps!
Will you react to Love is Blind Japan Edition too (long shot but I just watched it)? From 8 engaged couples to only 2 making it, I think it might be interesting to have your opinion on it as well :) Thanks from France ^^
Hello 👋🏾 Idk where to type this but if u see this message can you do a video on the ultimatum
Quality Upload
So I'm not into astrology much, but when I saw Micah, I was like, "THAT'S a Pisces right there." I was right 😂
She was impossible to get a read on. I don't think she was being disingenuous. She was just all over the place with her feelings and thoughts and priorities ALL THE TIME
In my experience, people who say they are empaths are tend to be the complete opposite. The person she believes she is very different from who she actually is. I didn't see her act empathetic or say anything empathetic the who season. I think she's fake and only shit comes out her mouth. If your friends are garbage, chances are, you are probably garbage because birds of a feather, flock together.
PLEASEEE make a video about khanya from the ultimatum South Africa. I’ve never ever seen a grown woman act the way she does and I have no clue how to read that behavior.
Random but i found this video of colleen quite interesting and was wondering if youd cover it? I know u said u were surprised that her and matt lasted as much as they had in a previous video of yours. I wonder what youd think about what she said here ua-cam.com/video/cprpQPUW4zI/v-deo.html
Please please please review this year’s 90 day fiance couples!!