Five years ago I hit rock bottom on all metrics of what's considered a normal life. I was broke, homeless, alone and desperately clinging to every bottle of alcohol I could find. For the past two years I've spent almost all my days alone and at home. I literally separate myself from everyone. Today, I am healthy, have more money, exercising, reading novels, learning French alone, listening to music, gardening, cooking, etc. My point is this, being alone is a gift I gave myself for which I am eternally grateful. I won't be alone forever, but now I know the value it holds for my life.
It’s so true. Nowadays if we are not careful with our time and focus, people will just devour our resources and attention robbing us of time we should be spending on bettering our own life and wellbeing. People generally want to involve others in their drama which adds nothing valuable to that person’s life.
Congrats to you. You've done all of that yourself, you should be proud. If you need a French conversation partner, I'm trying to learn at the moment too!
2 years ago I decided to completely isolate, leave all my social media except youtube and dedicate fully to myself. Learning languages, musical instrument, gardening, meditating, exercising, connecting to all elements and only watching videos thatd teach me something positive but mostly being offline. I started to feel so peaceful and happy that I’ve been keeping my life this way, only allowing back a few old and new friends that are contributing to that vibe. 🙏🏻 my dog is my best companion fs 😂❤
Hi good for u really but how do u entertain urself, cz from ky experinec if i dont i end up having a burnout, nd like u i want to prefer to work on myself in so many things so i wanna know that and how did u programmed ur schedule . Thanks
@@oumeima5718 There's this idea that you've been living with hyper-stimulation your entire life, and so now it's harder to keep yourself "entertained". The very need to be entertained could be similar to experiencing withdrawals. Our reward circuits are just fried because we're so used to short-term gratification. Find pleasure in small things, and comfort in stillness.
@@SlicedSlappy No friends is better than fake friends. No point in spending time around people that you have to pretend around just to maintain the illusion of connection/friendship with people who can't appreciate you for who you are, _or_ vice versa.
According to the Bhagavad-Gita, a sacred text in Hinduism, isolation is an essential characteristic of wise people who continuously seek supreme wisdom.
Also in Christianity. Several times, Jesus is quoted as going out into the desert, getting away from the crowd. Some monks and religious sisters continued the tradition, inherited from Judaism. Even today, the practice of retreat prevails, whether to a convent or a monastery, a walk (like the Camino) or an period of solitude, away from unwanted influence. It may also be the case that this desire to follow the best path in life could also be contributing to the growth of single households in parts of the west. This stage is temporary for many and, with prayer and trust in God, can foster a stronger path than previously.
@@clarecorcoran8585 prophet Muhammad (saw) also spent so much time in cave Hira ,away from people ,and that was the place where he recieved first revelation
Solitude has been my healing of attachments that drained my life force and soul. I am now ready to take l year to be with me. I whole year solo to me. Dropping addictions, sabotage, depression. My year gift to me.
I think this is what I need. I've been thinking I should live with my brothers and be close to family but I'm longing to gtfo and away from all of them. I just want to be at peace.
I am doing the same. After having had a massive mental health breakdown (now healed) and not stopping I am now taking an enforced year off because of a recent cancer diagnosis. This year for me is a blessing and is very much needed.
I’m really sick of most people. After going down this road and getting my life back, I’ve noticed just how many people who claim are our friends are anything but. I don’t even want too many “friends”. People are NOT what they portray.
4:05 you must limit the influence of what you don’t want and increase the amount of what you want in your mind. Until we are burning bright enough we must not allow any influence that will overwhelm our efforts of trying to change
Peace of mind is so important. I moved to another state, and I've lived like this now for 4 years. But I love it too much to go back to my old life anytime soon. I love the peace in my life now and that I have time to learn new things, volunteer for organizations I care about, and enjoy the little free time I have without other people annoying me with their drama. Like someone else said on here, my dogs are my best friends. They're the best.❤
"Solitude for me is a fount that makes life worth living. Talking is often torment for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words." C.G. Jung
Fr. I literally just deleted all my social media (except youtube obviously) like a few days ago. Stopped talking to people and have just been deeply studying and working on my future
@@ortegaproductions7513 Hi, hope you are doing better, I have a question. Do you know if you 'delete' your UA-cam....can you reactivate it and it will all be the same. ?? I have been trying to find the answer to that. I mean, not start with a 'new name' and everything. Will it go back to exactly where you left off...in case you might know....THX
@@Melinda8162 As long as you have your login and password information still, you can just delete the app itself from your phone and when you are ready just install it again and log back in. I'm not sure if you can delete your channel and get it back
I needed this. I've been ruminating on the idea of distancing myself from my friends, for a while, and as much as I love them, and it hurts to say, they are a distraction to my life goals. I'm not saying it in a pompous self-righteous way, but, they do not share my same ideals, and outright asking them to is futile. It's better to follow that path and be a role-model. I just hope they understand.
Hey, if they understand and love you, then your needs matter to them :) and it's actually quite interesting to test the strength of your friendships by adding distance to them
The sad truth is generally speaking people are a problem and will always let you down. I have a great many associates, however have come to realise I consider none friends.
Hey. I don’t know if this helps, but I was one of the friends that was distanced from. My high school best friend disappeared from everyone he knew when he graduated high school. I didn’t hear from him again until 4 years later, and that was for him to just check in. He wasn’t trying to be friends again. It hurt, of course it hurt. I was sad for a long time, of course. But when he came back four years later, I only asked him how he was doing, how was his new life, and if it was worth it. He said yes and that was that. I didn’t dwell too long in the time he was gone. And today years later, I know he did it for him and I hope he’s well. I say that to say, you’re unfortunately going to hurt some people. And not all of them will stick around, but if this is what’s best for you then it’s what’s best for YOU. And you’re the only one that you have to answer to at the end of it all and determine if you did the best you could and everything you wanted to. Anyone else will either have to understand and wait for your return, understand and remain completely distanced, or not get over it and have you live rent free in their heads. But you still have to do what’s best for you, random internet stranger. Coming from someone that lost their best friend to the very same thing. :) Good luck! P.S. for anyone wondering if I’m glad he reached out or if I wish he hadn’t. I wish he hadn’t. I was happy to hear he was safe and sound, but it reopened the wound I worked hard to close. It would have been different if he reached out in the name of friendship, but he really just wanted to check in and disappear again (which was a known fact. No wishy washy stuff or false promises.)
Be careful of that hope for understanding. That hope can hold you back, waste your energy. How people react is their choice. Respect their right to feel however they choose to and stay focused regardless.
Im very glad the UA-cam algorithm and the universe put you in my path today. Thank you for speaking calmly, not too fast and no loud bells and whistles etc😬 I wish more content creators would adapt this format. 💜🇬🇧
Yessss! Yesss!!! It’s the only way to silence all the voices and to listen to the ONE voice that matters: our OWN! Sitting in our own energy, getting to know who we are deep down inside - away from everyone and all things is not only a healthy thing to do, but a necessary one! I just LOVE your posts !!!!! Always always fantastic reminders on here and teachings 🥰
Well said. Sometimes we have to go away, becasue we are not ready for the next step, and need time to shapen the saw, get our own fire burning more intensely.
Wise advice. The analogies are simple and helpful. Saving this video because I really need to remind myself of this daily especially as to why I should respect my need to isolate and not let others make me feel guilty about it. It's the ultimate, "It's not you, it's me (but it's kinda you too)." 😁 When I make myself better, I can give a better "me" to the world. Thank you.
Hey man, I'm currently 19 and turning 20 in August... and this is exactly the video I was looking for. Full disclosure, I've been lurking your channel for a while. Your messages are phenomenal. They're the sort that will be passed down onto generations. You hold me accountable for things that I've been ignorantly avoiding. You're gifted and so full of wisdom. You get me going. I wish you success and happiness to you and yours.
I’ve been living alone for almost two years now and my growth has been immense. However, there are some things I wish to change about myself and for good. I found this channel at the perfect time.
As an individual who is working on my degree as a licensed therapist I say don’t try for perfection, but strife for your best. All things we experience are teaching us about life and how to cultivate understanding, empathy and compassion towards ourselves and others.! Eating junk all the time is bad, having poor relationships is also bad for us, being in the company of people who don’t value us, who lie, manipulate and exploit us is also unhealthy for us. But the thing about life is that through our so called negative and bad experiences we learn how to live a more productive, peaceful and harmonious life. It is through our many heartbreaks that we can learn how to love ourselves, and yes the other possibilities are there , we may not learn how to love ourselves we may go on an autopilot and repeat same old habits and patterns all our lives. Changes are uncomfortable, difficult and often require us to step out of our comfort zone and we are creatures of habit, comfort and familiarity. Anyhow, that’s just my opinion on this.
Concur. Isolation therapy is especially more important and more relevant than ever, considering we live in a characterologically psychopathic culture. I took a few years off to get my head straight, and it was the best thing I ever did. I find myself not particularly motivated to mingle with status quo, unaware zombies...because it feels pointless/boring. I'm there, and they're in fantasy.
It's true that we must at least entertain antagonistic attitudes without accepting them; to self-exile is a mark of discipline. I hope and pray that this is a time of solitude and not an isolation.
Rarely do I comment on videos or share my own thoughts but this video spoke to me in such a way. You just helped me with agonizing thoughts I have had for months. A little while ago, I took a trip away from home to see some old friends and had an "epiphany." I really wanted to work hard to achieve my goals, and to be able to live a comfortable and fulfilling life outside of the 9-5 standards set in place. I'm an artist and have been dedicating as much time as I can everyday to learning and improving in several skill areas. And a little while ago I decided that I wanted to move away. I live in a small town in nebraska, and its very clicky here with not much to do at all. I have gone on a few trips to see friends, and when I am able to see such diversity in people I get so inspired and excited. I want to move to a big city, which I am doing within the next few months! I want to not only grow as an artist, but a person, and I realized I need to be somewhere that allows me to have different experiences. Home is safe, and the thought of moving somewhere unfamiliar and far away from friends and family is scary. But I realized its something I have to do. And I am beyond excited to see what happens. Even if its hard and scary, and I know for a while things will feel wrong and it will be a difficult transition. But I know in the end it will be so fulfilling once I come out on the other side. As I came to these realizations, I started spending time with my friends less and less and I felt guilty for it. I felt like something was wrong with me, or that I was a bad friend, and I didnt understand why things were different now. I used to talk to these people daily and now I do maybe once a week but I do still try to keep up with them because I care about them. But they live such different lives from me, and a lot of them are not passionate or driven people. I still love them dearly, but you helped me come to terms with the fact that thats why things are different now. I feel like everything clicks now, so thank you for that. I feel less guilty for this change. You helped me realize that being absent in this time was the best thing I could have done for myself. And Im excited to get out there and see the world and continue doing what I love in the process. Good luck everyone!!
This is what I needed to b reminded of that what I'm doing isn't actually wrong. I have this close friend of mine whom I use to do certain things with and now I let go and haven't seen them for a while because I don't want to keep on reliving on the past and doing the same old things. I do appreciate them with the fact that we have gone through several difficult times in life, but it doesn't mean that I have to still live with that person and share my life with them. It was a good times and bad times but I've been done reliving and doing the same old things because of them. They don't understand about moving on and seeing things fowardly which dissapoints me because I know I had to let them go and never see them again . All they do is just bring me down with them. Thank you for making me feel like I have done the right and not feeling like I just abaonded them. I do pray for them and hope for the better and change. Its one individual who has to make the change for their own good. Again thank you for this message Im sending blessings, guidance, and protection your way angel 💗
I have a similar friend I have known since college. We used to party together, and continued to until last year (college was many, MANY years ago, so it was a while). During Covid he began to sell this substance and made it very easy for me to obtain. I had to cut him off completely, block his number and even delete my social media. I asked him to leave me alone for a while and I haven’t heard from him since. We had been through a lot together but I can’t go down this path with him. I can never be friends with him again. I have been on the straight and narrow since and have finally found my true self. Good luck to you on your journey. Some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever, just temporarily so that we can learn a lesson and move on.
There's a balance between influencing people to make a bigger effort doing something interesting together through leadership and charisma, and accepting their flaws out of gratitude for their presence.
I was ready to hear this today. I needed to hear this today. I've been absent for some months now and I'm starting to get the urge to reintegrate. I'm not quite ready though, I need to hold out a little longer until I'm in a mindset where I won't regress.
Incredible. Thank you. I have a birthday party coming up (family’s birthday...) and I was just thinking how I don’t want to go. I can’t relate with those people, showing smiles and acting so nicely but then talking bad about everyone behind their back, including me... I can’t deal with it at this moment. I know I won’t feel comfortable there. I decided I have to put myself first. I am on a path of self growth and dealing with them now is going to mess it up, I can feel it, I know it’s going to affect me. I believe there are no coincidences, this video didn’t show up for no reason today, it really helped validate my feelings and decision. Oh, the universe...! Thank you!
I really needed this today. I had an ego death experience a few months ago (a sober one!) and when I came out of it, I had such a hard time holding on to the wonderful parts of myself I had found. I knew it was necessary to regain some sense of ego and some psychological defenses just to navigate the world, but I was shocked how poorly people responded to what had happened to me and how quickly a number of people around me treated me very badly for not conforming to their idea of how I should be in any given moment. I had to cut off a number of people just for the sake of my own heart because I couldn't take the pain of their cynicism and disdain. Since then, I've felt bitterness creep in. And I've been working my way through it, but I felt like I had failed at something. But realizing now how new and fragile my mindset was, it's not surprising that I regressed somewhat. I felt like someone who finally quit smoking after a lifetime and was constantly finding myself in rooms filled with toxic smoke. I've retreated from the world quite a bit, but I felt ashamed for doing so. It made me feel like it was impossible for me to live in the world anymore because I was just too fragile. That all the people who seemed to be insisting that their negativity was "normal" and the only sensible response to living in a chaotic world were actually right. I began to break faith with what I had come to learn and know -- namely that there is a better way to live in the world. This video helped remind me that just because I haven't strengthened myself fully yet to navigate in the great wild world doesn't mean I won't be able to one day. And that I still have the chance to overcome my bitterness and disappointment and shame.
Just a recent graduate. 2/12 months in without any social media other than my work acc, YT, and Pinterest. Planning to do creative arts and learning the things I didn't have time to learn back then.
Isn’t it amazing how the universe works Just last night I decided to take myself out of the lives of some people who I know have just drained my energy and self worth I am inherently a massive introvert and know in my heart of hearts that I need to spend some time now alone While I work a lot and a lot of my work involves speaking to people, I do it from home and have managed to really carve out a niche for myself in my profession. This keeps me more than fulfilled. But I cherish solitude and I just know that this is what I now need to find my centre again and to clear out all stagnant energy. Coming across your video lays it all out so clearly Thank you
This came at the right time, I have been searching for an answer to the restlessness in my being amongst familiar, frequently on-rotation options but this, the way it’s been communicated, makes total sense. Thank you.
I am new here, accidentially your video got into my feed. I am religious, what you speak of is written in the bible and kabbalah principles. The eyes, ears and mouth are feeding the spirit and soul this can either elevate your soul or distort it and have a negative impact. Thank you for sharing.
Random but you look so majestic, your energy is so refined, your aura is shiny and down to earth. Your thoughts are so helpful, the accent everything perfect. Universe truly loves you. Thanks for videos like this. I believe in spiritualty and these guidance definitely work.
First time I have watched your channel. Thanks and appreciation from London. The stoics are a source of timeless wisdom, ( many of its tenets are to be found in the major religions and philosophies of the world) which you inculturate for a contemporary audience with intelligence. I liked your analogy of the junk food and how that can be a symbol of every aspect of our lives in terms of peer pressure to continue in ways that are unhelpful to us. You have a very pleasing manner as a presenter. Self effacing but authoritative.. I have liked and subscribed. Here's to "the bliss of solitude" as Wordsworth said.
I made this mistake in a big way. Long story short I moved in with my girlfriend and her children. I thought I could raise them up. But they took me down terribly. It's been 7 years that was over and im still feeling the affects. I grossly overestimated my strength and ability.
Good on you for trying. Take the experience for the learning gift it can be, you tried to do a good thing, give yourself some credit and let go of the hurt. Bless your heart.
Hey bro, Just thanks for this video, it helps out greatly. For past 4 months nothing makes sense, life is like a rollercoaster going up very little and going down 10x of that, my mind just isn't in its right state anymore, I feel like there's this fog inside my mind and I can't think clearly, zoned out, overthinking, ruminations most of the time, it's very very shit, my friends they're good but the things they say sometimes as " joke ", being in my lowest state, these type of words hits like a knife, I see myself having alot of potential, but I feel it all being wasted day by day. Your video and the things you said is maybe just what I wanted to hear, complete disconnection from the world and focusing on my goals and achieving my ambitions. Thanks.
Thank you so much for this- I have been dealing with an internal struggle between the path I am forging and the sometimes limiting influence of friends . I’m not sure… but I think it comes down to knowing what’s important to you, your own values and beliefs - and the courage to hear/accept differing beliefs from those close to you 🙏
Thank you for everything you are doing!🙏 I am currently taking some space from some family members that do not align with me and my inner peace and all the work I’ve done. This video came at the perfect moment for me. “If you want to change what your mind is, you have to change what your mind wants” love love ❤
Incredible that this video appeared on my thread, as I just recently became quite sick in a scary way and I want / need to make a drastic change of lifestyle but was scared to fail dreading the loneliness that will unmistakably prevail in the next few weeks. So thank you for reminding me it’s the right path and I can be strong enough to get better 🙏🏻🦋✨💙
This is such an interesting take on life. So many toxic friendships and relationships that leave you feeling less than, and wondering why you keep going back for more. Thank you I had never thought about things in quite that way before. New subscriber. I love the short videos, to the point and incisive.
Damn you’re right i thought i was crazy after going out while chasing my dream. Im still chasing my dream and it doesn’t feel too good going out right now while i know i have business to do. Now i have money in my pocket but i still have business to do and my spark isn’t bright enough. Unfortunately i will have to cut ties with two people that are very important to me but those are the same negative people fading my spark feeling i had while being fully focused on myself and what really matters, they just dont have the same urgency as i do and i dont have time to waste. I really needed to hear this man thank you so much! Will be Making my moves soon
I agree for the most part with what you’re saying, especially with what we consciously choose to consume, but from a humanistic approach - what if that so called ‘toxic’ person is also going through his/hers ups and downs and maybe (or most definitely), we are the strength and support he/she needs. Even though it’s invisible at first - the good influence we do, but I believe that all acts of love and compassion heal people in mysterious ways. I was writing this while thinking about my friend with pretty severe chronic depression for quite some time and no real actions to get help.
Yes I've realised at certain point some of them drained my energy like an energy vampire just because of am an empath. But something made me to realize that I need to vanish for sometimes so I did that exactly for two years. I am always and forever alone ranger. I felt I can survive all by myself. After knowing the power within me. It's a blessing to be alone
Thank you very much for sharing your reflections, I am glad that your channel appeared to me, it makes me curious how I began to reflect on something and in one of your videos you comment on a reflection that helps me understand what I had in mind! I feel like it's amazing and very healing, thank you again for creating this channel!
Love how to UA-cam algo can spit out just what I need at the right time when I'm moving things in the direction I want to. Thanks for the reminder. very fitting. New subscriber.
I was currently thinking about just isolating and going back into myself and giving to myself. I feel myself fizzling out and falling into a depression. But something in me felt a certain obligation to the people and factors around me , I didn't feel like I was allowed to that it's selfish and dramatic so I decided against it. Then this video pops up at the right moment and it's made my decision that much easier. Thank you for this
it`s brilliant, very true and reflects somehow everything that`s happening in my life right know. I like that this way of thinking of success and friendships/entertaiment is not about "toxic productivity" like in most influencers in social medias. very comforting
There is one influence above all others and it is the hardest to escape. 8+ hours a day 40+ hours a week. You need it to pay the rent and pay for groceries. It's your job. Everything else pales in comparison. Every social media any friend even any lover has little influence compared to the time and energy required by your job. So yeah ditch your friends. Ditch the screens. Go away. But oh do you have enough vacation time to really get to the point where you are burning bright again? For a lot of us no because we know we'll have to go back to the job that is destroying us snuffing us out day by day hour by hour.
This analogy makes more sense than your other video on the topic. I'm all about taking ownership of situations but I'm stuck in a hostile work environment. I NEED to get out of that. The concept that it's me because I can't deal with stress made go hmmm. Not that I didn't ponder your advice. But this applies to my situation. When I step out of the situation, I recover. When I go back to it in a few weeks I'm on my face again. Thank you for revisiting this topic.
wow thank you, thats exactly what I needed. I am not anymore pulled to the persons that I once spent my time with. For at least now several months. And by that I mean my family too. The last days it was for me so hurtful, because the people around me cant understand my viewing point and often I thought I act wrong and egoistic. I get always reminded why I am on my way to the next chapter. I am ready for it, for new people, for people in a higher consciousness and for an upgrade version of me ;D thank you for reading
This video came to me exactly when I needed it. I have extremely needy people in my life and have felt it was unkind to not be there for them. But I just came to a stop. Today I am feeling like it is time for me to go on a solo journey. Feels weird but I feel like it is time to be with me and nourish my soul.
Five years ago I hit rock bottom on all metrics of what's considered a normal life. I was broke, homeless, alone and desperately clinging to every bottle of alcohol I could find.
For the past two years I've spent almost all my days alone and at home. I literally separate myself from everyone. Today, I am healthy, have more money, exercising, reading novels, learning French alone, listening to music, gardening, cooking, etc.
My point is this, being alone is a gift I gave myself for which I am eternally grateful. I won't be alone forever, but now I know the value it holds for my life.
It’s so true. Nowadays if we are not careful with our time and focus, people will just devour our resources and attention robbing us of time we should be spending on bettering our own life and wellbeing. People generally want to involve others in their drama which adds nothing valuable to that person’s life.
Well done man, turning those losses into wins , one at a time
Ily i pray you have good days
Congrats to you. You've done all of that yourself, you should be proud. If you need a French conversation partner, I'm trying to learn at the moment too!
What work did you find?
2 years ago I decided to completely isolate, leave all my social media except youtube and dedicate fully to myself. Learning languages, musical instrument, gardening, meditating, exercising, connecting to all elements and only watching videos thatd teach me something positive but mostly being offline. I started to feel so peaceful and happy that I’ve been keeping my life this way, only allowing back a few old and new friends that are contributing to that vibe. 🙏🏻 my dog is my best companion fs 😂❤
Hi good for u really but how do u entertain urself, cz from ky experinec if i dont i end up having a burnout, nd like u i want to prefer to work on myself in so many things so i wanna know that and how did u programmed ur schedule . Thanks
@@oumeima5718 There's this idea that you've been living with hyper-stimulation your entire life, and so now it's harder to keep yourself "entertained". The very need to be entertained could be similar to experiencing withdrawals. Our reward circuits are just fried because we're so used to short-term gratification. Find pleasure in small things, and comfort in stillness.
Then you start to age. Slow down. The novelty wears off and you end up with no friends.
@@Dan_Yerlll You're too young to understand.
@@SlicedSlappy No friends is better than fake friends. No point in spending time around people that you have to pretend around just to maintain the illusion of connection/friendship with people who can't appreciate you for who you are, _or_ vice versa.
If you want to see who your friends are, then hit rock bottom. You are your own best company..
According to the Bhagavad-Gita, a sacred text in Hinduism, isolation is an essential characteristic of wise people who continuously seek supreme wisdom.
Also in Christianity. Several times, Jesus is quoted as going out into the desert, getting away from the crowd. Some monks and religious sisters continued the tradition, inherited from Judaism. Even today, the practice of retreat prevails, whether to a convent or a monastery, a walk (like the Camino) or an period of solitude, away from unwanted influence. It may also be the case that this desire to follow the best path in life could also be contributing to the growth of single households in parts of the west. This stage is temporary for many and, with prayer and trust in God, can foster a stronger path than previously.
@@clarecorcoran8585 prophet Muhammad (saw) also spent so much time in cave Hira ,away from people ,and that was the place where he recieved first revelation
@@zulfizakarya5703 Received.
I was wandering in the vast universe of the internet and found you. I believe I was meant to find you. Your content is absolutely enriching.
OMG SAME!
everything you find you were meant to find your sub concious led you here
Nay, it’s the YT algorithm that brought you here 😂
There is no you.
The algorithm brought you here
Solitude has been my healing of attachments that drained my life force and soul. I am now ready to take l year to be with me. I whole year solo to me. Dropping addictions, sabotage, depression. My year gift to me.
I think this is what I need. I've been thinking I should live with my brothers and be close to family but I'm longing to gtfo and away from all of them. I just want to be at peace.
I am doing the same. After having had a massive mental health breakdown (now healed) and not stopping I am now taking an enforced year off because of a recent cancer diagnosis. This year for me is a blessing and is very much needed.
Goodonya!!
Exactly what I'm doing ❤
Sending love. I hope it goes the way God intended it for you.
I’m really sick of most people. After going down this road and getting my life back, I’ve noticed just how many people who claim are our friends are anything but. I don’t even want too many “friends”. People are NOT what they portray.
100%%%%
I agree with you
WORD!!!
Can't agree more !
The buddhists say...take refuge. Meaning take time alone to re centre yourself. Its so important to do this for our own mental health.
4:05 you must limit the influence of what you don’t want and increase the amount of what you want in your mind. Until we are burning bright enough we must not allow any influence that will overwhelm our efforts of trying to change
Peace of mind is so important. I moved to another state, and I've lived like this now for 4 years. But I love it too much to go back to my old life anytime soon. I love the peace in my life now and that I have time to learn new things, volunteer for organizations I care about, and enjoy the little free time I have without other people annoying me with their drama. Like someone else said on here, my dogs are my best friends. They're the best.❤
"Solitude for me is a fount that makes life worth living. Talking is often torment for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words." C.G. Jung
I feel the exact same way.
There are no coincidences. I needed this message. Thank you for posting.
Fr. I literally just deleted all my social media (except youtube obviously) like a few days ago. Stopped talking to people and have just been deeply studying and working on my future
@@ortegaproductions7513 Hi, hope you are doing better, I have a question. Do you know if you 'delete' your UA-cam....can you reactivate it and it will all be the same. ?? I have been trying to find the answer to that. I mean, not start with a 'new name' and everything. Will it go back to exactly where you left off...in case you might know....THX
@@Melinda8162 As long as you have your login and password information still, you can just delete the app itself from your phone and when you are ready just install it again and log back in. I'm not sure if you can delete your channel and get it back
Don’t forget enablers who see you making a change and try to drag you back where they can control you. That’s when you learn what it’s all about.
I needed this. I've been ruminating on the idea of distancing myself from my friends, for a while, and as much as I love them, and it hurts to say, they are a distraction to my life goals. I'm not saying it in a pompous self-righteous way, but, they do not share my same ideals, and outright asking them to is futile. It's better to follow that path and be a role-model. I just hope they understand.
Hey, if they understand and love you, then your needs matter to them :) and it's actually quite interesting to test the strength of your friendships by adding distance to them
The sad truth is generally speaking people are a problem and will always let you down. I have a great many associates, however have come to realise I consider none friends.
Hey. I don’t know if this helps, but I was one of the friends that was distanced from. My high school best friend disappeared from everyone he knew when he graduated high school. I didn’t hear from him again until 4 years later, and that was for him to just check in. He wasn’t trying to be friends again.
It hurt, of course it hurt. I was sad for a long time, of course. But when he came back four years later, I only asked him how he was doing, how was his new life, and if it was worth it. He said yes and that was that. I didn’t dwell too long in the time he was gone. And today years later, I know he did it for him and I hope he’s well.
I say that to say, you’re unfortunately going to hurt some people. And not all of them will stick around, but if this is what’s best for you then it’s what’s best for YOU. And you’re the only one that you have to answer to at the end of it all and determine if you did the best you could and everything you wanted to. Anyone else will either have to understand and wait for your return, understand and remain completely distanced, or not get over it and have you live rent free in their heads. But you still have to do what’s best for you, random internet stranger. Coming from someone that lost their best friend to the very same thing. :)
Good luck!
P.S. for anyone wondering if I’m glad he reached out or if I wish he hadn’t. I wish he hadn’t. I was happy to hear he was safe and sound, but it reopened the wound I worked hard to close. It would have been different if he reached out in the name of friendship, but he really just wanted to check in and disappear again (which was a known fact. No wishy washy stuff or false promises.)
Absolutely, same here. These so called friends of mine aren’t heading in the direction I’m going so I will leave them behind.
Be careful of that hope for understanding. That hope can hold you back, waste your energy. How people react is their choice. Respect their right to feel however they choose to and stay focused regardless.
Im very glad the UA-cam algorithm and the universe put you in my path today. Thank you for speaking calmly, not too fast and no loud bells and whistles etc😬 I wish more content creators would adapt this format. 💜🇬🇧
Yes his way of expressing is unusual and a god send
I also feel that ways.
Yessss! Yesss!!! It’s the only way to silence all the voices and to listen to the ONE voice that matters: our OWN! Sitting in our own energy, getting to know who we are deep down inside - away from everyone and all things is not only a healthy thing to do, but a necessary one! I just LOVE your posts !!!!! Always always fantastic reminders on here and teachings 🥰
AMEN
All the greatest thought leaders went away periodically to get stronger - Buddha, Jesus, etc. thank u 🙏🏻 🧘🏼♀️
I can’t hear my own voice when I’m constantly Lito everyone else’s. Solitude is necessary for the self to be heard and to grow.
Yeaaah !!! Thats EXACTLY what came to my mind recently !
3 minutes in, and I immediately subscribed…..there is something magical about this man!
I thought exactly the same ❤
The fact that this video was suggested by UA-cam, I now understand where I stand in life🙂
Me too 😅
Same here
Healing journey ❤
Same
Well said. Sometimes we have to go away, becasue we are not ready for the next step, and need time to shapen the saw, get our own fire burning more intensely.
Wise advice. The analogies are simple and helpful. Saving this video because I really need to remind myself of this daily especially as to why I should respect my need to isolate and not let others make me feel guilty about it. It's the ultimate, "It's not you, it's me (but it's kinda you too)." 😁 When I make myself better, I can give a better "me" to the world. Thank you.
Hey man, I'm currently 19 and turning 20 in August... and this is exactly the video I was looking for. Full disclosure, I've been lurking your channel for a while. Your messages are phenomenal. They're the sort that will be passed down onto generations. You hold me accountable for things that I've been ignorantly avoiding. You're gifted and so full of wisdom. You get me going. I wish you success and happiness to you and yours.
I’ve been living alone for almost two years now and my growth has been immense. However, there are some things I wish to change about myself and for good. I found this channel at the perfect time.
As an individual who is working on my degree as a licensed therapist I say don’t try for perfection, but strife for your best. All things we experience are teaching us about life and how to cultivate understanding, empathy and compassion towards ourselves and others.! Eating junk all the time is bad, having poor relationships is also bad for us, being in the company of people who don’t value us, who lie, manipulate and exploit us is also unhealthy for us. But the thing about life is that through our so called negative and bad experiences we learn how to live a more productive, peaceful and harmonious life. It is through our many heartbreaks that we can learn how to love ourselves, and yes the other possibilities are there , we may not learn how to love ourselves we may go on an autopilot and repeat same old habits and patterns all our lives. Changes are uncomfortable, difficult and often require us to step out of our comfort zone and we are creatures of habit, comfort and familiarity. Anyhow, that’s just my opinion on this.
Concur. Isolation therapy is especially more important and more relevant than ever, considering we live in a characterologically psychopathic culture. I took a few years off to get my head straight, and it was the best thing I ever did. I find myself not particularly motivated to mingle with status quo, unaware zombies...because it feels pointless/boring. I'm there, and they're in fantasy.
My cat is my best friend
Lovely ❤
Abstinence makes the heart grow stronger
You are so correct. All my friends and family are gone.
And it is happening to many of us, when we change. ❤❤❤
It's true that we must at least entertain antagonistic attitudes without accepting them; to self-exile is a mark of discipline. I hope and pray that this is a time of solitude and not an isolation.
Rarely do I comment on videos or share my own thoughts but this video spoke to me in such a way. You just helped me with agonizing thoughts I have had for months. A little while ago, I took a trip away from home to see some old friends and had an "epiphany." I really wanted to work hard to achieve my goals, and to be able to live a comfortable and fulfilling life outside of the 9-5 standards set in place. I'm an artist and have been dedicating as much time as I can everyday to learning and improving in several skill areas. And a little while ago I decided that I wanted to move away. I live in a small town in nebraska, and its very clicky here with not much to do at all. I have gone on a few trips to see friends, and when I am able to see such diversity in people I get so inspired and excited. I want to move to a big city, which I am doing within the next few months! I want to not only grow as an artist, but a person, and I realized I need to be somewhere that allows me to have different experiences. Home is safe, and the thought of moving somewhere unfamiliar and far away from friends and family is scary. But I realized its something I have to do. And I am beyond excited to see what happens. Even if its hard and scary, and I know for a while things will feel wrong and it will be a difficult transition. But I know in the end it will be so fulfilling once I come out on the other side.
As I came to these realizations, I started spending time with my friends less and less and I felt guilty for it. I felt like something was wrong with me, or that I was a bad friend, and I didnt understand why things were different now. I used to talk to these people daily and now I do maybe once a week but I do still try to keep up with them because I care about them. But they live such different lives from me, and a lot of them are not passionate or driven people. I still love them dearly, but you helped me come to terms with the fact that thats why things are different now. I feel like everything clicks now, so thank you for that. I feel less guilty for this change. You helped me realize that being absent in this time was the best thing I could have done for myself. And Im excited to get out there and see the world and continue doing what I love in the process.
Good luck everyone!!
This is what I needed to b reminded of that what I'm doing isn't actually wrong. I have this close friend of mine whom I use to do certain things with and now I let go and haven't seen them for a while because I don't want to keep on reliving on the past and doing the same old things. I do appreciate them with the fact that we have gone through several difficult times in life, but it doesn't mean that I have to still live with that person and share my life with them. It was a good times and bad times but I've been done reliving and doing the same old things because of them. They don't understand about moving on and seeing things fowardly which dissapoints me because I know I had to let them go and never see them again . All they do is just bring me down with them. Thank you for making me feel like I have done the right and not feeling like I just abaonded them. I do pray for them and hope for the better and change. Its one individual who has to make the change for their own good.
Again thank you for this message Im sending blessings, guidance, and protection your way angel 💗
I have a similar friend I have known since college. We used to party together, and continued to until last year (college was many, MANY years ago, so it was a while). During Covid he began to sell this substance and made it very easy for me to obtain. I had to cut him off completely, block his number and even delete my social media. I asked him to leave me alone for a while and I haven’t heard from him since. We had been through a lot together but I can’t go down this path with him. I can never be friends with him again. I have been on the straight and narrow since and have finally found my true self. Good luck to you on your journey. Some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever, just temporarily so that we can learn a lesson and move on.
@@SF_Native 4:11
This is the exact way I have been living the past 3 years. I could not have put my choice this into words any better. What a useful video. Thank you
There's a balance between influencing people to make a bigger effort doing something interesting together through leadership and charisma, and accepting their flaws out of gratitude for their presence.
very well said
I was ready to hear this today. I needed to hear this today. I've been absent for some months now and I'm starting to get the urge to reintegrate. I'm not quite ready though, I need to hold out a little longer until I'm in a mindset where I won't regress.
Incredible. Thank you. I have a birthday party coming up (family’s birthday...) and I was just thinking how I don’t want to go. I can’t relate with those people, showing smiles and acting so nicely but then talking bad about everyone behind their back, including me... I can’t deal with it at this moment. I know I won’t feel comfortable there. I decided I have to put myself first. I am on a path of self growth and dealing with them now is going to mess it up, I can feel it, I know it’s going to affect me. I believe there are no coincidences, this video didn’t show up for no reason today, it really helped validate my feelings and decision. Oh, the universe...! Thank you!
I really needed this today. I had an ego death experience a few months ago (a sober one!) and when I came out of it, I had such a hard time holding on to the wonderful parts of myself I had found. I knew it was necessary to regain some sense of ego and some psychological defenses just to navigate the world, but I was shocked how poorly people responded to what had happened to me and how quickly a number of people around me treated me very badly for not conforming to their idea of how I should be in any given moment. I had to cut off a number of people just for the sake of my own heart because I couldn't take the pain of their cynicism and disdain. Since then, I've felt bitterness creep in. And I've been working my way through it, but I felt like I had failed at something. But realizing now how new and fragile my mindset was, it's not surprising that I regressed somewhat. I felt like someone who finally quit smoking after a lifetime and was constantly finding myself in rooms filled with toxic smoke. I've retreated from the world quite a bit, but I felt ashamed for doing so. It made me feel like it was impossible for me to live in the world anymore because I was just too fragile. That all the people who seemed to be insisting that their negativity was "normal" and the only sensible response to living in a chaotic world were actually right. I began to break faith with what I had come to learn and know -- namely that there is a better way to live in the world. This video helped remind me that just because I haven't strengthened myself fully yet to navigate in the great wild world doesn't mean I won't be able to one day. And that I still have the chance to overcome my bitterness and disappointment and shame.
Keep going!
Just a recent graduate. 2/12 months in without any social media other than my work acc, YT, and Pinterest. Planning to do creative arts and learning the things I didn't have time to learn back then.
This was excellent thank you. Glad to see a fellow stoic out there that understands the power and necessity of solitude 🙏🏻
Isn’t it amazing how the universe works
Just last night I decided to take myself out of the lives of some people who I know have just drained my energy and self worth
I am inherently a massive introvert and know in my heart of hearts that I need to spend some time now alone
While I work a lot and a lot of my work involves speaking to people, I do it from home and have managed to really carve out a niche for myself in my profession. This keeps me more than fulfilled. But I cherish solitude and I just know that this is what I now need to find my centre again and to clear out all stagnant energy.
Coming across your video lays it all out so clearly
Thank you
Oh I was suppose to hear this, living alone is so rewarding these days, thank you 🙏
This came at the right time, I have been searching for an answer to the restlessness in my being amongst familiar, frequently on-rotation options but this, the way it’s been communicated, makes total sense. Thank you.
Stumbled apon this by chance, just what was needed, thankyou.
Exactly. Agreed in total. I've been just going through the process. I've been absent for a while...
Thank you. I really need this type of message right now. I'm exactly doing just that: going absent for a while, and hoping to come back better.
I am new here, accidentially your video got into my feed. I am religious, what you speak of is written in the bible and kabbalah principles. The eyes, ears and mouth are feeding the spirit and soul this can either elevate your soul or distort it and have a negative impact.
Thank you for sharing.
Just scrolling through and stopped on you,thanks for sharing i really appreciate your help
Random but you look so majestic, your energy is so refined, your aura is shiny and down to earth. Your thoughts are so helpful, the accent everything perfect. Universe truly loves you. Thanks for videos like this. I believe in spiritualty and these guidance definitely work.
One of the most balanced, well tuned approaches to this topic. Well done. :)
Half-way through the video and it feels like a sign from the universe. I'm healing and getting better 💪
First time I have watched your channel. Thanks and appreciation from London. The stoics are a source of timeless wisdom, ( many of its tenets are to be found in the major religions and philosophies of the world) which you inculturate for a contemporary audience with intelligence. I liked your analogy of the junk food and how that can be a symbol of every aspect of our lives in terms of peer pressure to continue in ways that are unhelpful to us. You have a very pleasing manner as a presenter. Self effacing but authoritative.. I have liked and subscribed. Here's to "the bliss of solitude" as Wordsworth said.
hello !! I found you randomly I feel like finding you is one of the important things that happened to me to serve my growth thanks a lot!
You're explanation is perfect my dude the exact type of guy I can respect. Keep on changing the world one step at a time 🙏🏾
I made this mistake in a big way. Long story short
I moved in with my girlfriend and her children. I thought I could raise them up. But they took me down terribly. It's been 7 years that was over and im still feeling the affects. I grossly overestimated my strength and ability.
Good on you for trying. Take the experience for the learning gift it can be, you tried to do a good thing, give yourself some credit and let go of the hurt. Bless your heart.
This is the mindset that Ive been having trouble with. This opened my mind about it more. Thank you.
This is absolute truth and so well said 🙏🏼😊✨
you spot the exact thing happening to me again and again. Thank You ❤
It makes perfect sense . Thank you for giving me this insight.
Thanks for your advice ❤🎉🎉. Much appreciated
Thank you so much. I really needed this. You speak to my soul
Loved your peaceful, slow-paced, value-packed advice.
Thanks, man! Will give my best to implement it right away.
Hey bro, Just thanks for this video, it helps out greatly. For past 4 months nothing makes sense, life is like a rollercoaster going up very little and going down 10x of that, my mind just isn't in its right state anymore, I feel like there's this fog inside my mind and I can't think clearly, zoned out, overthinking, ruminations most of the time, it's very very shit, my friends they're good but the things they say sometimes as " joke ", being in my lowest state, these type of words hits like a knife, I see myself having alot of potential, but I feel it all being wasted day by day. Your video and the things you said is maybe just what I wanted to hear, complete disconnection from the world and focusing on my goals and achieving my ambitions. Thanks.
Thank you for taking the time to enlighten others ♥️
Perfect timing to find your message. Thank you ❤
I feel like I not only need to go away more frequently but that I just feel better by staying away. Love the way you think!
Thank you so much for this- I have been dealing with an internal struggle between the path I am forging and the sometimes limiting influence of friends . I’m not sure… but I think it comes down to knowing what’s important to you, your own values and beliefs - and the courage to hear/accept differing beliefs from those close to you 🙏
Thank you for everything you are doing!🙏 I am currently taking some space from some family members that do not align with me and my inner peace and all the work I’ve done. This video came at the perfect moment for me. “If you want to change what your mind is, you have to change what your mind wants” love love ❤
This is so true. People carry either positive or negative energy along with them. And it can infect you.
I have to say this makes complete sense to me! Thank you for these powerful words.
Blessings and thank you for this words 🙏🙏🙏
Incredible that this video appeared on my thread, as I just recently became quite sick in a scary way and I want / need to make a drastic change of lifestyle but was scared to fail dreading the loneliness that will unmistakably prevail in the next few weeks. So thank you for reminding me it’s the right path and I can be strong enough to get better 🙏🏻🦋✨💙
What a right time to see this. I need this one. Thank you
The most helpful advice I could have received, at the time I need it most.❤
This is such an interesting take on life. So many toxic friendships and relationships that leave you feeling less than, and wondering why you keep going back for more. Thank you I had never thought about things in quite that way before. New subscriber. I love the short videos, to the point and incisive.
Damn you’re right i thought i was crazy after going out while chasing my dream. Im still chasing my dream and it doesn’t feel too good going out right now while i know i have business to do. Now i have money in my pocket but i still have business to do and my spark isn’t bright enough. Unfortunately i will have to cut ties with two people that are very important to me but those are the same negative people fading my spark feeling i had while being fully focused on myself and what really matters, they just dont have the same urgency as i do and i dont have time to waste. I really needed to hear this man thank you so much! Will be Making my moves soon
This is so well said, logical and true. Thank you
Brother, really appreciate your lessons
I agree for the most part with what you’re saying, especially with what we consciously choose to consume, but from a humanistic approach - what if that so called ‘toxic’ person is also going through his/hers ups and downs and maybe (or most definitely), we are the strength and support he/she needs. Even though it’s invisible at first - the good influence we do, but I believe that all acts of love and compassion heal people in mysterious ways. I was writing this while thinking about my friend with pretty severe chronic depression for quite some time and no real actions to get help.
Just found the right thing on the right time. Was thinking to get out of everyone life and got this just in a while.
Yes I've realised at certain point some of them drained my energy like an energy vampire just because of am an empath. But something made me to realize that I need to vanish for sometimes so I did that exactly for two years. I am always and forever alone ranger. I felt I can survive all by myself.
After knowing the power within me. It's a blessing to be alone
Thank you! This is what I need to do, and I've been putting it off for too long!
I needed to hear this today. Thank you
This is the phase I am in now and this was very reassuring to hear. Thank you for your wisdom.
I found you by happenstance, seemingly. You are answering the question I've been mulling over for months! I am currently in isolation.
What this guy says is completely right, I can’t agree more. Thank you 😊
Well Said. Your tone of voice encourages. Your own experience shows you know what you’re talking about. Thank you for creating your channel.
This is perfect explanation thank you. 🙏🏾
Thank you very much for sharing your reflections, I am glad that your channel appeared to me, it makes me curious how I began to reflect on something and in one of your videos you comment on a reflection that helps me understand what I had in mind! I feel like it's amazing and very healing, thank you again for creating this channel!
Resonate, living it. Thanks for your wisdom brother.🫵🏻
Love how to UA-cam algo can spit out just what I need at the right time when I'm moving things in the direction I want to. Thanks for the reminder. very fitting. New subscriber.
Thank you. Very nicely stated. Refreshing and concise.❤
Well said, I practice what you expressed and indeed it has made a difference. Thank you😊
I was currently thinking about just isolating and going back into myself and giving to myself. I feel myself fizzling out and falling into a depression. But something in me felt a certain obligation to the people and factors around me , I didn't feel like I was allowed to that it's selfish and dramatic so I decided against it. Then this video pops up at the right moment and it's made my decision that much easier. Thank you for this
Words of wisdom. Thank you.
it`s brilliant, very true and reflects somehow everything that`s happening in my life right know. I like that this way of thinking of success and friendships/entertaiment is not about "toxic productivity" like in most influencers in social medias. very comforting
There is one influence above all others and it is the hardest to escape. 8+ hours a day 40+ hours a week. You need it to pay the rent and pay for groceries. It's your job. Everything else pales in comparison. Every social media any friend even any lover has little influence compared to the time and energy required by your job. So yeah ditch your friends. Ditch the screens. Go away. But oh do you have enough vacation time to really get to the point where you are burning bright again? For a lot of us no because we know we'll have to go back to the job that is destroying us snuffing us out day by day hour by hour.
Facts
True and it’s scary to leave the security
lol you're projecting
@@lockandloadlikehellyou’re interrupting 🤷♀️
This analogy makes more sense than your other video on the topic. I'm all about taking ownership of situations but I'm stuck in a hostile work environment. I NEED to get out of that. The concept that it's me because I can't deal with stress made go hmmm. Not that I didn't ponder your advice. But this applies to my situation. When I step out of the situation, I recover. When I go back to it in a few weeks I'm on my face again. Thank you for revisiting this topic.
wow thank you, thats exactly what I needed. I am not anymore pulled to the persons that I once spent my time with. For at least now several months. And by that I mean my family too. The last days it was for me so hurtful, because the people around me cant understand my viewing point and often I thought I act wrong and egoistic. I get always reminded why I am on my way to the next chapter. I am ready for it, for new people, for people in a higher consciousness and for an upgrade version of me ;D thank you for reading
So much gratitude for this content, for your words, for your energy, you shine bright and resonate deeply.
This video came to me exactly when I needed it. I have extremely needy people in my life and have felt it was unkind to not be there for them. But I just came to a stop. Today I am feeling like it is time for me to go on a solo journey. Feels weird but I feel like it is time to be with me and nourish my soul.