As a unawakened Empath tht I was Not love bombed but trauma bonded im intelligent smart older but know hw to tke care of me But I know this ex Narcs touch up to a point was needy wanting & possibly great dollop of INTMACY Attachment !!! Wy the discard my turn to heal come into empathic creative traits
Wy wld a Narc snare a unawakened Empath big puzzle to me HG i adore ur videos learn a lot Can u ppl put one on abt wy a Narssastic man wants a unawakened Empath especally thru the diff Narc type as i am not a push over
After a while they withdrew completely from sexual intimacy. And then Gradually withdrew from all forms of intimacy. This went in for three years.... slowly depleting my self esteem and self worth. I had never come across such behaviour and it triggered every wound within me. It had been a blessing in disguise, it had bought me ever closer to myself. As time goes in I heal. Never again will I except such neglect nor neglect myself ❤️
The same thing happened to me - twice! I didn't see it coming. By the time I realized I was dealing with a N., it was too late. It was like two COMPLETELY different people, in both cases. At first, loving/giving, at the end totally shut down, withholding of any affection (even smiles or a pleasant tone of voice). The kind of demeanor I would only have if I hated/were repulsed by someone.
I was subject to it for about a year and could not do much about it because by law the residence was just as much his marital home. It ended with him sleeping/spending time on the couch for 3 straight months. This was all his choice. He deliberately stayed out of the bedroom and only came in to get clothing. He left to live and work in another state. He said we could stay together but I should find someone else. I told him I will do it legally by getting a divorcecin which he was shocked that I would do such a thing.
Narcs are part of a co-dependency dynamic. C0-DEPENDENCY is CO, each party is dependent on the other. Narcs no matter what range, are dependent on their partner, so during the devalue and discard the Narc suffers even more than the target. In other words, the Narc shoots themselves in the foot by getting rid of the supply they need to survive. In every instance the Narc takes a massive emotional hit while their target does understand, does the internal work to rebuild, and finally recovers wiser and much stronger with solid boundaries, but the Narc never self reflects enough to make any progress or self improvements, they are only doomed to make the same fatal mistakes over and over again like a toxic broken record. The targets always WIN in the end. And the Narc sinks in to a bottomless pit of misery.
To an extent you are correct. This is quite detailed so I will only provide a brief overview here, but if you want to pose your observation in the comments section of "Ask HG Episode 2" I will go into more detail in Episode 3 of Ask HG. Briefly, SOME narcissists will get rid of the appliance but not the appliance they need to survive, but the appliance is gotten rid of in order to enable the narcissist to survive - hence why only certain circumstances result in Disengagement Triggers. Most narcissists disengage from an appliance (not supply - awful term) when they have a new one lined up, so there is no massive emotional hit. The narcissist asserts control by rejecting the Former IPPS and asserts control seducing the new one who is seamlessly installed as the new IPPS who then provides fresh, potent and plentiful fuel etc. The narcissist succeeds. There are instances where this does not happens as seamlessly as it should (escaped IPPS, panic pick, reduced options owing to context) which results in problems for the narcissist, but most may bugger up the relationship but it does not matter because we just move on to the next one.
Co-dependency involves two parties. In that regard, I believe empaths are complicit in their own abuse. The narcissist can be an effective manipulator, but the reality is that whether you know what you’re dealing with or not, there is no way that as an empath, your emotional needs are being met. And yet, many empaths stay for years. After a while, you can’t only blame the narcissist for the toxicity.
Intimacy= see into me. Their inner world is barren. If they would allow you to see into them , you would be horrified and run away. You must not see. Only the facade.
Tbh, one reason "shadow work" is pretty decent is bc a lot of us, not just narcissists, psychologically shove away any thought that we might have "bad" or "wrong" to us and lock anything we think will be disapproved of away. Everyone has at least 2 faces, and odds are the one we think is a monster actually isnt.
Wow! This whole video, but particularly the second half, so perfectly described my ex-wife that I’m feeling strong PTSD right now! I’ve been divorced for 7 years. We were married for 19. I never gave up trying to save our marriage until the judgement was final, because when I make a covenant I mean it 100%. But once the judge ruled, I felt a strong sense of relief. I’ve moved on, and would never go back. But, oh, this video brought back memories that I had so thoroughly suppressed! Memories of the joy of falling in love, how devoted I was to her, and the soul crushing feeling of its reciprocation being pulled away after being given, like Lucy pulling the football away just when Charlie Brown’s kick was committed!
I was told that I was too controlling because I wanted an emotionally intimate relationship. He was shocked when I said that it was he who was being controlling, by refusing any emotional commitment.
Same here, except mine is even more sinister. He accuses me of being Emotionally unavailable when it's really him. He accuses me of being smothering and inmeshed. He can be so happy in the morning and be all touchy feely with me then in the afternoon he is having these huge sighs and panic attacks and tells me that when I even walk by him in the house he is feeling smothered by me. It's always my fault for how he feels, yet he will tell me "You need to manage your emotions and except where I'm at and how I'm feeling."
@@zaychloey88 yep..he will tell me the same thing and that I'm not emotionally connecting with him but it's all projection. He's the one not emotionally connecting with me. I can never initiate sex or I am a "slut." I can never wear tight shorts or clothes around the house unless he feels like it or I am being "shallow" and "overly sexual."
@@Anders4771 Exactly! The second that abuse is portrayed, leave! Dont let anyone tell you how YOU should FEEL sexually! Its abuse! Count it up as a "dangerous" extreme jealousy on their part and just WALK! Its an indicator they were abused younger and will abuse you!! Take your sexy a** out, feel good, go about you biz!🙂
"Oh the coffee machine said good night, the warranty is out and it's no longer brewing coffee. It's time to throw it away and get a new modern one. But should there way to repair it, I might keep it in the closet in case the new one isn't as good as promised. ". We are about as valuable as that to a narc.
Yes once you figure them out they run with their tail between their legs, yet they keep contacting you because they have to feel like they haven’t lost control and they want to try to keep the hook in your back ...
I noticed with my ex narc when we were laying next to each other being intimate! He would actually start opening up to me telling me about his family and of course his past relationships then I get to asking questions he responded! Then out of nowhere he would jump up and change the subject like Let's go to the store I need a drink! He would say "we was supposed to lay down and just go to sleep" I'm telling you too much! And I would tell him no babe we just having a conversation! And that would be the end of our intimacy for the night! I never understood why he would sabotage that connection! But now I know why! This makes a lot of sense! Thank you HD
I had never encountered this trait - this lack of intimacy - in a romantic partner. As our relationship progressed it became evident that there were limits to her ability to bond. She could not hug. She would always wriggle out and away. She used it as part of a game - to make herself seem unreachable. To make me continue giving her fuel while waiting to finally “get through”. I finally realized that some people just don’t feel intimacy. They can’t go there. I would never get there.
This totally makes sense..this is what ultimately lead to the end of my relationship, after realising he was a narcassist and why my needs were not being met...and never would!!
Real intimacy requires emotional vulnerability, and I believe that narcissists cannot allow themselves to become intimate/emotionally vulnerable, because this would inevitably lead them to the precipice of that vast chasm of horrific pain that they suffered in childhood.
@Consider the lilies I have a question. Do ALL narcissists experience trauma in childhood. Is it true that every psychopath (...does 'psychopath', by extension, equal 'narcissist'?) has a brain malformation (malformation = enlarged amygdala). I have heard of one psychopath/narcissist who did NOT have a traumatic childhood. He married and had children. His wife said his behaviour was odd and he went on to 'work' on his responses to situations. He - a scientist, Dr Jim Fallon, USA - discovered by chance that he had a psychopathic brain. He claims that he didn't go on to do anything drastic because he had a very supportive, loving mother. It's difficult trying to process all this stuff... HG, if you see this question, my apologies for only seeing your input it now 😉😋 Dr Jim Fallon is also very interesting to listen to. He is retired now.
@@beverleypettit3577 according to psych textbooks, yes. Emotional neglect by primary caretakers tends to be more highly associated with narcissm, and violence or abuse tends to be associated with like borderline type stuff or AvPD.
Psych texts also have a classification system similar to Mr Tudor's but uses different terms. His "Ultra", the calculating one, is mostly considered very theoretical and might have NPD with comorbid socipathy. The "mid range" and "lesser" would fit under covert narcissism, and MOST people with harmful and pathological levels of narcissistic traits fit under this tent.
@@beverleypettit3577 yes, though it is more likely to have come from emotional neglect, ie: incredibly cold and distant caregivers. Mind you, the experience of empathy for the child that once was is cometely seperate from coddling or whatever for the adult that now is. A friend of mine, ironically a schitzophrenic which tends to come with more stigma than most other mental disorders including narcissism, said this once. She said "All any of us are is a collection of other people's stuff. Itsour job, as we grow, to make something we can love out of it all." It could be most accurate to actually describe a narcissist as someone incapable of feeling love for themself rather than someone who loves themself too much. Thwy believe, on a super deep level, that they are either nothing, a vaccum, or that they are a monster. They construct a "mask" to cover that, and become obsessed with that mask, its maintenence and improvement. They do not know how to emotionally validate and care for themselves bc they dis not have sufficient examples of that growing up, and they cannot believe that anyone who tries to love them actually does, those people can only love the mask. Not the true being beneath it.
Leslie Collins I've heard HG Tudor say that they don't hate themselves, yet people who have healthy self-love wouldn't treat people the way they do! My last sociopathic narsissistic ex gave away a lot of his secrets and even told me that he doesn't like himself, among other things, which is extremely sad. It certainly doesn't mean that I ever want to see him again though. 😥
Narcs dont hate the mask because it makes them feel safe. They cherish the mask for its their protector and best friend in the moment. What they hate is the disconnect they feel when their true self comes out for a gasp of fresh air and the mask feels how false it is. When there is no comparison they are in love. When the comparison pops up is when they devalue, disengage.
In a healthy relationship, two people join to care, encourage, build each other and honor, love one another. Love is the fruit and should be in the coupling. This creates intimacy. Love makes you stronger. I hope you can strive to have a bond, even if you think it isn't good for you. That is the sickness talking. I tell you, this stuff you talk about is absolutely a different way of being altogether, which is abusive even to the narc. I get angry anytime I think of abusers trying children enough to split their souls and mind like this, to hate themselves and everyone else. I pray there will be a cure one day for those who want it. The abuser that began this should be punished harshly in prison. For years. As usual, HG, you are wonderful at explaining how it works. Ty.
Daily dose of freedom . Need time. Staying in your class. Up and down emptions after escape from an upper greater yes rare I know . You HG saved my ass here. Forever I will have gratitude for you
If they believe they are searching for "the one", why reject intimacy & sabotage the relationship with cheating/lies once a bond is formed? If they didn't spend every minute lying or picking up every skank in a 50 mile radius, they wouldn't break their appliances!
I dont get it either. Its self Sabotage. They would get all the fuel they need, but they stop giving the intimacy and begin devalue.. its very weird.. In a healthy relationship both people are affection and give affirmation. I think a lack of affection ie "church hugs" is what really what flicks the switch of empath onto something not quite right here.
They just cannot help themselves, driven by the pathology they're (compelled) to approach - avoidance behavior. Along with the never ending quest to quench the fuel addiction🚏more...more...more...never enough.
Targets always trigger envy, the need to destroy the target to remove the source of envy, the superiority complex is restored by degrading the target. They can’t be intimate due to a lack of soul & true identity.
Intimacy like everything else is an illusion. There's an ulterior motive behind every action. However, every action leads to some form of control and the obtaining of fuel.
After a lovely golden period with my ex he slowly stopped those little affectionate touches. Things slowed down after he exclaimed one day that he thought we had sex more that anyone of our age group. Then the other signs started. Since we were together 24/7 he couldn’t cheat with a real person, but he could go off with his smart phone and look at porn while satisfying himself. After he disappeared several times I commented and he denied. I now live alone, have a happy life without a narcissist and feel quite happy.
I literally remember multiple times when I hugged her and had to say put your arms around me and I thought it was funny and she would snap out of it and hug me back I had no idea
Damn! I fit this description & I'm a woman. Intimacy is quit terrifying to me. I've mastered avoiding it at all costs. You can makelove to some one without intimacy.
That's not "making love" you do without INTIMACY, it's just fucking....no real feelings and can do it with anyone. I call it nameless, faceless sex pleasuring yourself only which is very sad!
Of course you're attached. Always attached. To the idea that there are supplies out there to fill the continuous void. No matter how temporary it's an attachment. And you need intimacy to love bomb, no matter how short lived. How disgusting it must feel to you when you have to love bomb, to fake intimacy again and again and again. How exhausting!
Woo, trippy. It's like there are 2 forces working at once. 1 that works towards ripping a person into the narcs way, and then 1 that says "I don't agree with ur self-destruction but I'm here when u are ready"
These people are hollow and don't know how to love. Very sad. Everything is a game. I would hate to be a N. It seems they are consigned to oblivion. With that being said, H.G., thank you so much for showing us the "man behind the curtain." It is absolutely invaluable information that you are sharing, even if it is just for your legacy...and a fine one you will have...it is the best. It is a peek inside a mind most people simply cannot comprehend whatsoever.
another view of this topic would be, that the intimacy does happens, but while most people tend to follow in and seek attachment to the significant other, a narcissist won't do it because that would mean they have to let that person know that they have a place in their heart and that would weaken the narcissistic perception of self, and affect their sense of identity and self steem in a negative way.
These people sound pathetic and broken. If they weren’t so vile I’d feel sorry for them but after watching so many of these videos and coming to an understanding of how these people function I just feel scorn.
HG - could you (in time) dedicate a channel specifically too the nature of and building of mental discipline/ lowering emotional thinking? Practical guides and approaches towards mental toughness. Your work resonates with me and I'm curious on your perspective on building metal and emotional toughness. Thank you
My ex did this suddenly. Suddenly completely changed the way he treated me and took away every bit of affection he had once given me and it confused me so badly. I begged him to communicate with me but he refused and it helps me so much to understand why he did this. Again,thank you.
Poor Celine Dion. I hope she never listens to this stuff. I'd be fascinated to know which artist HG is a fan of, but then he's a Grade A narcissist so he probably likes the sound of his own voice in the shower.
@@Calicandyy there's a whole squad ("coterie") of empath feeder-groupies supplying HG on his blog. but i think he gets more out of it financially than fuel-wise. HG's helped me so much with insight that i don't care. i just avoid the fawning groupie comment section because it's very nauseating.
The narcissist who has invaded our lives was calling himself from an undetectable phone number pretending it was coming from the ex-primary source, who dumped him and took out a restraining order. He did this to try to make the new victim, who he took off the shelf as a replacement, feel that he was still wanted and then further to try to invoke an arrest for violation of the restraining order. Everyone was able to see through this eventually except the new victim, who believes him. I guess she doesn't understand that when a person moves out, takes out a restraining order, changes their number and moves out of town, it means that they do not want the narcissist us anymore.
It has felt like a volcanic heart erupting experience of the worst kind. I was devoted to someone that did not exist for 26yrs. He is NPD, which is a devastating personality disorder brought on by childhood trauma. Check it out in the DSM5. As narcissistic traits reside within us all there is a narcissistic spectrum, which might include those that are self aggrandizing as empaths. By the looks of it the word empathy was hijacked to inflate the importance of those that, well needed it. If all goes right every human will experience being empathetic. Our species survival depends on it.🦋
Always on their terms and dictates what happens an it's the same every time. Even controls the sex. So sad. Thank god I got me a sex toy! 😂 That may hurt the ego!
No hand holding,not sitting on a sofa together,not even walking up the road together,if we went out I wouldn't see him unless another man came near me,foreplay was press play on a porno film my sons are exactly the same to hug them is like hugging a lump of concrete,old "family pics...my eldest son would lean away from me,and my youngest son has hunched shoulders and a mad look in his face,no love from any of them
Unless you have been subjected from True Narcissistic Abuse, never to be told, I was wrong, I am sorry, I Love you, you know not what you say, sad for the many children who have been raised by one, and observed your parent painfully subjected to living with one, so sad that you reject this reality of their Demonic devices 😢😢😢!!!
After 11years of my creature, who couldn't remove myself from it's primary source, even after trying to strangle me, raping myself at knife point, then trying drowning, words like I've had you in the first 3 months didn't want you any more. My words (it wounded creature) when I say it's over, it's over.( Creature saw my eyes back in 94) So in 2000 I picked myself Off the floor, with cold hardness of a glacier and asked for the keys and creature left.🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
I wonder if aversion to intimacy may also be rooted in the disappointments/lack of healthy emotional connection with the parent/s as a child; a young one would find such a rejected attempt at intimacy too devastating to repeat in later circumstances...
For a minute in the beginning you started to have a change of heart about the goodness of intimacy from a different point of view. I heard it in your voice.
From what I'm learning about these fools, it's best NOT TO KISS THEM, they are dirty, trifling and will screw anything that walks....male or female NARCS are just HOES & for the streets! Don't kiss that mouth 😏 👄🙄
Forgive me HG but everything you said is all coming from your childhood, emotional detachment, value , devalue , discard. Are you really happy with what you are ? I cannot imagine what it feels like to not give & receive love. I pray one day that you understand there is help out there for your kind.
And he wispered under his voice "(oh) and she likes hugs..." (then only adminstering after making me upset - when you almost feel yuk leave me alone). "Oh, she (unsure) takes awhile to decide..." "Oh, you and your negative energy"... What was that? ( he liked to remind me I was negative energy in his spiritual expertise - how else did I attract all these bad things in my life?). Me: I dont like you keep calling me negative energy (esp trying to do something positive). "I didn't say that". (definitely did). I guess that was the first clear count of gaslighting. Ok, so why the f**k am I getting chest pains, longing and waking up at 3am, loving and missing him (yeah the beginning) but after the "quilitine severe" it messed me up, and him poking and what felt like breaking my pillars of strenght through trauma. And left me confused. About so many parts of the events before he shockingly confusingly left me... its been such a long time and my body still hasnt recouperated. Yet he made me feel like he was only helping me, and just got frustrated that I would never change never be good enough.. never leave the past behind. I was stupid and naive to fall for him, but now, after so many other bad experiences, he was the cherry on the cake, I have become a recluse, feeling from the inside out a weirdo, and a black sheep of society. I dont want to get hurt and give anyone anymore chances. Damn, my weak feelings if I do ... it seems some of the narcissist has rubbed off on me, and not in a good way... f b4 I was one of the most gullible empaths going, at least he opened my eyes somewhat that so many times in the past before him I refused to see. Behold a teacher , but never a lover. 😥
Hi HG, do you think a job in robotics or programming would be good for narcs? I had a programming professor once say " If you have control issues, just become a programmer." 😆 My boyfriend and I are both programmers though I'm more on the side of software Quality assurance and I think my professor is correct. You do get a great feeling when you see you program execute and do what you want it to do. Or do you actually need an emotional reaction too? Like would Androids be more suited for your kind because you could literally program and control them?
You are no more than the chosen additive picked. A adornment, an accessory specifically picked for whatever the narcissists outfit is. One of many accessories in the collection, each one to go with a different outfit the narcissist has. And easily replaceable if need be. Yup... Sure didn't like being nothing more than just a inanimate object, as near equality to that of one of her purses. However... The Narcissist should bare this in mind, discard or not,... If we're to be only thought of as of nothing more than a thing in a collection. One should realize that,... Things can get lost, go missing, misplaced, and even stolen. Hey! On a different take of an old saying; It is what it is,.. cause "Things" happen. They happen all the time. Can happen to anyone. Sure be prudent to not think it couldn't happen to a Narcissist. Things happen. And that's also a key for the person who's involved with a narcissist, and understand the double entender I'm saying about making something happen for you in your best interests on a decision which ultimately comes down ourselves.
It doesn't have to be a IPPS it can be a NPPS. She is not with someone don't ask how I know that for sure. She moved me out and moved her daughter in her daughter NPPS. Lost 20 years of my life for her. Thanks for EDUCATION HG!! Wish I knew this info long ago.
Hahahaha Celine Dion. I have always been disgusted and yet intrigued about my ex husband, the lessor, having sex with me twice the night before he left.
Indeed. We had an extended golden period and i understood he allowed himself to go way deeper in intimacy then he planned. He was real and vulnerable for some time. Not lovebombing mirroring shit, but deep stuff. but one day he just clicked and completely shut down. withdraw emotionally and we never achieved that point ever again. I asked him why he changed overnight, he said its a defense mechanism. If only i understood at that moment.
I’m a little confused HG TUDOR. It’s been 2 years since I seen my ex, we haven’t seen intimate at all and of course he has attempted to get me back however I haven’t not returned and have no desire too. Why is it he’s trying to have intimacy? He knows I’m aware he’s a narcissist. Please explain!!! By the way your great.
He knows or thinks you want intimacy in order to feel closer to him. So he will put on the hoovering/good guy costume until he gets what he wants from you. Then, the same awful behavior repeats itself through time, might even be worse than it was originally.
@@BrendaBaBoom Correct, correct, correct.....they use the word intimacy for US to think it's something, but just feeding the egotistical, self-centered BEAST! Sex to hook us,, kind words, fake affection, then the torture cycle continues.....don't go backwards, once you're out stay out!!
Celine Escaped the wrath❤💣I'm not so sure Tudor I've listened to some of her tunes in my past life🎩Enjoy rescuing puppies do you. Hilarious this particular vid but I'm not laughing at you I laughed due to the comedy in It.
So projected intimacy is used to make the target feel that they are being treated normally and that it is a relationship that may endure.I can see why you do that.You embed this idea by allowing them to move in although they are unaware it is a temporary arrangement.This is done to ensure they fall in love but you remain unaffected other than getting your needs met.Until it becomes stale and other potential fresher fuel must be selected.My thought patterns have already come up with the answer.You need to open up an escort agency.Plenty of fuel and the applicants would know what they are doing and none of that messy intimacy. I'm a genius!
Ah, so a replacement needs to be installed immediately or the narcissist will experience the inner depths of their nothingness. The outward focus on the placement distracts and keeps the narc outwardly focused…. distracted…. avoiding experiencing their own pathetic nothingness.
Interesting talk about bonding… because bonding is PROTECTIVE and keeps people from hurting each other. Without bonding and attachment, abuse can occur because the protective layer is non-existent with these mal-functioning losers.
The fake intimacy is very evident, especially with touching and hugs.
U can feel the disconnect through the any physical touch! The cold, mechanical feel of it all. I have felt this . Like a soulless meat suit
As a unawakened Empath tht I was
Not love bombed but trauma bonded im intelligent smart older but know hw to tke care of me
But I know this ex Narcs touch up to a point was needy wanting & possibly great dollop of INTMACY
Attachment !!!
Wy the discard my turn to heal come into empathic creative traits
Fresh functioning appliance
Sent him to prison ??????????
Wht happens whn tht poops in ex Narc god fake good old fashioned INTMACY
Wy wld a Narc snare a unawakened Empath big puzzle to me HG i adore ur videos learn a lot
Can u ppl put one on abt wy a Narssastic man wants a unawakened Empath especally thru the diff Narc type as i am not a push over
Ur a true visual story teller of ur kind thanx HG
After a while they withdrew completely from sexual intimacy. And then Gradually withdrew from all forms of intimacy. This went in for three years.... slowly depleting my self esteem and self worth. I had never come across such behaviour and it triggered every wound within me. It had been a blessing in disguise, it had bought me ever closer to myself. As time goes in I heal. Never again will I except such neglect nor neglect myself ❤️
The same thing happened to me - twice! I didn't see it coming. By the time I realized I was dealing with a N., it was too late.
It was like two COMPLETELY different people, in both cases. At first, loving/giving, at the end totally shut down, withholding of any affection (even smiles or a pleasant tone of voice). The kind of demeanor I would only have if I hated/were repulsed by someone.
I was subject to it for about a year and could not do much about it because by law the residence was just as much his marital home. It ended with him sleeping/spending time on the couch for 3 straight months. This was all his choice. He deliberately stayed out of the bedroom and only came in to get clothing. He left to live and work in another state. He said we could stay together but I should find someone else. I told him I will do it legally by getting a divorcecin which he was shocked that I would do such a thing.
My story was very similar. Glad to be free of the ex husband
Just because your husband/partner stops being intimate after a while doesn't mean they are a narcissist though.
Right on 👍👍👍
Narcs are part of a co-dependency dynamic. C0-DEPENDENCY is CO, each party is dependent on the other. Narcs no matter what range, are dependent on their partner, so during the devalue and discard the Narc suffers even more than the target. In other words, the Narc shoots themselves in the foot by getting rid of the supply they need to survive. In every instance the Narc takes a massive emotional hit while their target does understand, does the internal work to rebuild, and finally recovers wiser and much stronger with solid boundaries, but the Narc never self reflects enough to make any progress or self improvements, they are only doomed to make the same fatal mistakes over and over again like a toxic broken record. The targets always WIN in the end. And the Narc sinks in to a bottomless pit of misery.
To an extent you are correct. This is quite detailed so I will only provide a brief overview here, but if you want to pose your observation in the comments section of "Ask HG Episode 2" I will go into more detail in Episode 3 of Ask HG. Briefly, SOME narcissists will get rid of the appliance but not the appliance they need to survive, but the appliance is gotten rid of in order to enable the narcissist to survive - hence why only certain circumstances result in Disengagement Triggers. Most narcissists disengage from an appliance (not supply - awful term) when they have a new one lined up, so there is no massive emotional hit. The narcissist asserts control by rejecting the Former IPPS and asserts control seducing the new one who is seamlessly installed as the new IPPS who then provides fresh, potent and plentiful fuel etc. The narcissist succeeds. There are instances where this does not happens as seamlessly as it should (escaped IPPS, panic pick, reduced options owing to context) which results in problems for the narcissist, but most may bugger up the relationship but it does not matter because we just move on to the next one.
Very well said.
Ken Johnson
On the point !! 100% !!
You may think this. I couldn't possibly comment.
Co-dependency involves two parties. In that regard, I believe empaths are complicit in their own abuse. The narcissist can be an effective manipulator, but the reality is that whether you know what you’re dealing with or not, there is no way that as an empath, your emotional needs are being met. And yet, many empaths stay for years. After a while, you can’t only blame the narcissist for the toxicity.
Intimacy= see into me. Their inner world is barren. If they would allow you to see into them , you would be horrified and run away. You must not see. Only the facade.
@Andrea
What would we see thats horrifing? We dont know.
Damn Monster
Tbh, one reason "shadow work" is pretty decent is bc a lot of us, not just narcissists, psychologically shove away any thought that we might have "bad" or "wrong" to us and lock anything we think will be disapproved of away. Everyone has at least 2 faces, and odds are the one we think is a monster actually isnt.
Wow! This whole video, but particularly the second half, so perfectly described my ex-wife that I’m feeling strong PTSD right now! I’ve been divorced for 7 years. We were married for 19. I never gave up trying to save our marriage until the judgement was final, because when I make a covenant I mean it 100%. But once the judge ruled, I felt a strong sense of relief. I’ve moved on, and would never go back. But, oh, this video brought back memories that I had so thoroughly suppressed! Memories of the joy of falling in love, how devoted I was to her, and the soul crushing feeling of its reciprocation being pulled away after being given, like Lucy pulling the football away just when Charlie Brown’s kick was committed!
I was told that I was too controlling because I wanted an emotionally intimate relationship. He was shocked when I said that it was he who was being controlling, by refusing any emotional commitment.
I was told sleeping with me feels like sleeping with a whore
Same here, except mine is even more sinister. He accuses me of being Emotionally unavailable when it's really him. He accuses me of being smothering and inmeshed. He can be so happy in the morning and be all touchy feely with me then in the afternoon he is having these huge sighs and panic attacks and tells me that when I even walk by him in the house he is feeling smothered by me. It's always my fault for how he feels, yet he will tell me "You need to manage your emotions and except where I'm at and how I'm feeling."
@@zaychloey88 yep..he will tell me the same thing and that I'm not emotionally connecting with him but it's all projection. He's the one not emotionally connecting with me. I can never initiate sex or I am a "slut." I can never wear tight shorts or clothes around the house unless he feels like it or I am being "shallow" and "overly sexual."
@@Anders4771 classic projection
@@Anders4771
Exactly! The second that abuse is portrayed, leave! Dont let anyone tell you how YOU should FEEL sexually! Its abuse! Count it up as a "dangerous" extreme jealousy on their part and just WALK! Its an indicator they were abused younger and will abuse you!! Take your sexy a** out, feel good, go about you biz!🙂
'they are not functioning properly, we need to get rid'. That sentence removes so much confusion for many situations and people. Thank you.
They are defective robots, that feed off of us like a vampire!
"Oh the coffee machine said good night, the warranty is out and it's no longer brewing coffee. It's time to throw it away and get a new modern one. But should there way to repair it, I might keep it in the closet in case the new one isn't as good as promised. ". We are about as valuable as that to a narc.
@@sharhughes1086 It's not far from the truth. Metaphorically they are emotional vampires who suck the life out of us.
@@narcfreeatlast6975 Nice one. I think we should all keep this 'coffee machine' comparison in the back of our minds for future reference. Thank you
Yes once you figure them out they run with their tail between their legs, yet they keep contacting you because they have to feel like they haven’t lost control and they want to try to keep the hook in your back ...
I noticed with my ex narc when we were laying next to each other being intimate! He would actually start opening up to me telling me about his family and of course his past relationships then I get to asking questions he responded! Then out of nowhere he would jump up and change the subject like Let's go to the store I need a drink! He would say "we was supposed to lay down and just go to sleep" I'm telling you too much! And I would tell him no babe we just having a conversation! And that would be the end of our intimacy for the night! I never understood why he would sabotage that connection! But now I know why! This makes a lot of sense! Thank you HD
I had never encountered this trait - this lack of intimacy - in a romantic partner. As our relationship progressed it became evident that there were limits to her ability to bond. She could not hug. She would always wriggle out and away. She used it as part of a game - to make herself seem unreachable. To make me continue giving her fuel while waiting to finally “get through”. I finally realized that some people just don’t feel intimacy. They can’t go there. I would never get there.
This totally makes sense..this is what ultimately lead to the end of my relationship, after realising he was a narcassist and why my needs were not being met...and never would!!
Real intimacy requires emotional vulnerability, and I believe that narcissists cannot allow themselves to become intimate/emotionally vulnerable, because this would inevitably lead them to the precipice of that vast chasm of horrific pain that they suffered in childhood.
@Consider the lilies
I have a question.
Do ALL narcissists experience trauma in childhood.
Is it true that every psychopath (...does 'psychopath', by extension, equal 'narcissist'?) has a brain malformation (malformation = enlarged amygdala). I have heard of one psychopath/narcissist who did NOT have a traumatic childhood. He married and had children. His wife said his behaviour was odd and he went on to 'work' on his responses to situations. He - a scientist, Dr Jim Fallon, USA - discovered by chance that he had a psychopathic brain. He claims that he didn't go on to do anything drastic because he had a very supportive, loving mother.
It's difficult trying to process all this stuff...
HG, if you see this question, my apologies for only seeing your input it now 😉😋
Dr Jim Fallon is also very interesting to listen to. He is retired now.
Spot on!
@@beverleypettit3577 according to psych textbooks, yes. Emotional neglect by primary caretakers tends to be more highly associated with narcissm, and violence or abuse tends to be associated with like borderline type stuff or AvPD.
Psych texts also have a classification system similar to Mr Tudor's but uses different terms. His "Ultra", the calculating one, is mostly considered very theoretical and might have NPD with comorbid socipathy. The "mid range" and "lesser" would fit under covert narcissism, and MOST people with harmful and pathological levels of narcissistic traits fit under this tent.
@@beverleypettit3577 yes, though it is more likely to have come from emotional neglect, ie: incredibly cold and distant caregivers.
Mind you, the experience of empathy for the child that once was is cometely seperate from coddling or whatever for the adult that now is.
A friend of mine, ironically a schitzophrenic which tends to come with more stigma than most other mental disorders including narcissism, said this once. She said "All any of us are is a collection of other people's stuff. Itsour job, as we grow, to make something we can love out of it all."
It could be most accurate to actually describe a narcissist as someone incapable of feeling love for themself rather than someone who loves themself too much. Thwy believe, on a super deep level, that they are either nothing, a vaccum, or that they are a monster. They construct a "mask" to cover that, and become obsessed with that mask, its maintenence and improvement. They do not know how to emotionally validate and care for themselves bc they dis not have sufficient examples of that growing up, and they cannot believe that anyone who tries to love them actually does, those people can only love the mask. Not the true being beneath it.
A Narc's self hatred won't allow them to be intimate.
Leslie Collins I've heard HG Tudor say that they don't hate themselves, yet people who have healthy self-love wouldn't treat people the way they do!
My last sociopathic narsissistic ex gave away a lot of his secrets and even told me that he doesn't like himself, among other things, which is extremely sad. It certainly doesn't mean that I ever want to see him again though. 😥
Narcs dont hate the mask because it makes them feel safe. They cherish the mask for its their protector and best friend in the moment. What they hate is the disconnect they feel when their true self comes out for a gasp of fresh air and the mask feels how false it is. When there is no comparison they are in love. When the comparison pops up is when they devalue, disengage.
In a healthy relationship, two people join to care, encourage, build each other and honor, love one another. Love is the fruit and should be in the coupling. This creates intimacy. Love makes you stronger. I hope you can strive to have a bond, even if you think it isn't good for you. That is the sickness talking. I tell you, this stuff you talk about is absolutely a different way of being altogether, which is abusive even to the narc. I get angry anytime I think of abusers trying children enough to split their souls and mind like this, to hate themselves and everyone else. I pray there will be a cure one day for those who want it. The abuser that began this should be punished harshly in prison. For years. As usual, HG, you are wonderful at explaining how it works. Ty.
Daily dose of freedom . Need time. Staying in your class. Up and down emptions after escape from an upper greater yes rare I know . You HG saved my ass here. Forever I will have gratitude for you
If they believe they are searching for "the one", why reject intimacy & sabotage the relationship with cheating/lies once a bond is formed? If they didn't spend every minute lying or picking up every skank in a 50 mile radius, they wouldn't break their appliances!
I dont get it either. Its self Sabotage. They would get all the fuel they need, but they stop giving the intimacy and begin devalue.. its very weird.. In a healthy relationship both people are affection and give affirmation. I think a lack of affection ie "church hugs" is what really what flicks the switch of empath onto something not quite right here.
For the simple sadistic pleasures in life.
@@DaleelahSada Absolutely! Spot on! ♥️
They just cannot help themselves, driven by the pathology they're (compelled) to approach - avoidance behavior. Along with the never ending quest to quench the fuel addiction🚏more...more...more...never enough.
Targets always trigger envy, the need to destroy the target to remove the source of envy, the superiority complex is restored by degrading the target.
They can’t be intimate due to a lack of soul & true identity.
How's a person with no sense of self going to have the ability to be intimate?
There's hardly anything there inside them.
Most insane actions I have ever heard of. Ain't no body got time dealing with all this mess. Forget these crazy people.
Intimacy like everything else is an illusion. There's an ulterior motive behind every action. However, every action leads to some form of control and the obtaining of fuel.
Lots of excellent content here. I enjoyed this presentation of narcissism from the narcissist's perspective-a lot to think about in this video.
After a lovely golden period with my ex he slowly stopped those little affectionate touches. Things slowed down after he exclaimed one day that he thought we had sex more that anyone of our age group. Then the other signs started. Since we were together 24/7 he couldn’t cheat with a real person, but he could go off with his smart phone and look at porn while satisfying himself. After he disappeared several times I commented and he denied. I now live alone, have a happy life without a narcissist and feel quite happy.
The IPPS would have never failed you and decreased your fuel supply if you hadn't been so screwed up and hurt us in the first place.
Remember they are easily bored.
OMG HG, I always tell people in my family I never received a hug from one soul. When you said awful hugs, now I know why. He said awful hugs, wow. 😂
I literally remember multiple times when I hugged her and had to say put your arms around me and I thought it was funny and she would snap out of it and hug me back I had no idea
So funny I enjoy these and learn everything I need to know I am having myself a nice time
HG is so astute regarding
Narcissists👌
They abhor putting in effort knowing others will
Thank you for sharing your intimacy of Fear with US.
Damn! I fit this description & I'm a woman. Intimacy is quit terrifying to me. I've mastered avoiding it at all costs. You can makelove to some one without intimacy.
That's not "making love" you do without INTIMACY, it's just fucking....no real feelings and can do it with anyone. I call it nameless, faceless sex pleasuring yourself only which is very sad!
Their constant need for conflict and show of vengeance blocks any chance of intimacy anyway.
Of course you're attached. Always attached. To the idea that there are supplies out there to fill the continuous void. No matter how temporary it's an attachment. And you need intimacy to love bomb, no matter how short lived. How disgusting it must feel to you when you have to love bomb, to fake intimacy again and again and again. How exhausting!
Woo, trippy. It's like there are 2 forces working at once. 1 that works towards ripping a person into the narcs way, and then 1 that says "I don't agree with ur self-destruction but I'm here when u are ready"
Both are on a tipping scale
Your voice is phenomenal ❤
These people are hollow and don't know how to love. Very sad. Everything is a game. I would hate to be a N. It seems they are consigned to oblivion. With that being said, H.G., thank you so much for showing us the "man behind the curtain." It is absolutely invaluable information that you are sharing, even if it is just for your legacy...and a fine one you will have...it is the best. It is a peek inside a mind most people simply cannot comprehend whatsoever.
Signs your wit a Narc dont like holding hands kissing or hugging they give you no affection no cuddling one side relationship
another view of this topic would be, that the intimacy does happens, but while most people tend to follow in and seek attachment to the significant other, a narcissist won't do it because that would mean they have to let that person know that they have a place in their heart and that would weaken the narcissistic perception of self, and affect their sense of identity and self steem in a negative way.
These people sound pathetic and broken. If they weren’t so vile I’d feel sorry for them but after watching so many of these videos and coming to an understanding of how these people function I just feel scorn.
With Age comes Grace and narcs cannot run away from it, it gets to them, it is the way of life.
HG - could you (in time) dedicate a channel specifically too the nature of and building of mental discipline/ lowering emotional thinking?
Practical guides and approaches towards mental toughness.
Your work resonates with me and I'm curious on your perspective on building metal and emotional toughness.
Thank you
Check out r/stoicism on reddit, it's amazing for this
My ex did this suddenly. Suddenly completely changed the way he treated me and took away every bit of affection he had once given me and it confused me so badly. I begged him to communicate with me but he refused and it helps me so much to understand why he did this. Again,thank you.
Poor Celine Dion. I hope she never listens to this stuff.
I'd be fascinated to know which artist HG is a fan of, but then he's a Grade A narcissist so he probably likes the sound of his own voice in the shower.
I am not the only one who loves the sound of my voice in the shower. I will drop by next week so you can hear it for yourself.
@@hgtudor-theultra
Look forward to it HG.
Bring your own shower gel.
😂😂😂
@pinkandlavender right wtf is wrong w some of these ppl 🤣
@@Calicandyy there's a whole squad ("coterie") of empath feeder-groupies supplying HG on his blog. but i think he gets more out of it financially than fuel-wise. HG's helped me so much with insight that i don't care. i just avoid the fawning groupie comment section because it's very nauseating.
I got rid of the narc in an instant. He wasn't good enough for me. He panicked lol.
The narcissist who has invaded our lives was calling himself from an undetectable phone number pretending it was coming from the ex-primary source, who dumped him and took out a restraining order. He did this to try to make the new victim, who he took off the shelf as a replacement, feel that he was still wanted and then further to try to invoke an arrest for violation of the restraining order. Everyone was able to see through this eventually except the new victim, who believes him. I guess she doesn't understand that when a person moves out, takes out a restraining order, changes their number and moves out of town, it means that they do not want the narcissist us anymore.
Like they say in my dialect. "U gud cawn done " helping me so much to crush the one am dealing with
There's soooooo much sickness in being a narcissist. I thank God for making me an super empath/alpha. 🙏
No such thing as an “empath”. Everyone has some level of empathy. The one fault I have with Tudor’s series.
It has felt like a volcanic heart erupting experience of the worst kind. I was devoted to someone that did not exist for 26yrs. He is NPD, which is a devastating personality disorder brought on by childhood trauma. Check it out in the DSM5. As narcissistic traits reside within us all there is a narcissistic spectrum, which might include those that are self aggrandizing as empaths. By the looks of it the word empathy was hijacked to inflate the importance of those that, well needed it. If all goes right every human will experience being empathetic. Our species survival depends on it.🦋
Are you sure you are a "Super Empath" or a narcissist that is unaware. Super Empaths do not have the need to publicly declare this status.
@@goddessinfinity1 And an Alpha one at that. 🌹😉
@@janellesamuels3385 ccxcxxxsxcccccxxxxcdvcccccxxxxcxvccccbc
Am actually learning Interesting ,Thank you exactly I see through him Like a white paper
Always on their terms and dictates what happens an it's the same every time. Even controls the sex. So sad.
Thank god I got me a sex toy! 😂
That may hurt the ego!
It does. The 'thing' tried the (sex as a weapon) pull back. I brought out my zz zz; he smacked it away and told me I was disrespectful.😂
@@9keykey 😉
"singing along to Celine Dion.... Well, maybe there are some depths even we won't go" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
No hand holding,not sitting on a sofa together,not even walking up the road together,if we went out I wouldn't see him unless another man came near me,foreplay was press play on a porno film my sons are exactly the same to hug them is like hugging a lump of concrete,old "family pics...my eldest son would lean away from me,and my youngest son has hunched shoulders and a mad look in his face,no love from any of them
I in fact questioned my narc abt him going out in public w me but not holding my hands.... He came up w Covid-19 excuse.... Shoot me 🤣
@Victoria Bergman i think they live in delusions. So with porn they can watch and pretend.
All women need great women, non-narc, friends. Makes life fun with or without husband/partner
😂😂😂 so full of yourself Mr. Tudor. I’m pretty sure you’d sing Celine Dion for good supply.
Lol ya his videos are helpful but I’m also like aright tough guy Ultra pfff shove it up your ass
Y'all jealous
Unless you have been subjected from True Narcissistic Abuse, never to be told, I was wrong, I am sorry, I Love you, you know not what you say, sad for the many children who have been raised by one, and observed your parent painfully subjected to living with one, so sad that you reject this reality of their Demonic devices 😢😢😢!!!
You must be a narcissist
Hahahahaha the things narcs won't do for good supply
Chilling! Notwithstanding the reference to Celine Dion.
After 11years of my creature, who couldn't remove myself from it's primary source, even after trying to strangle me, raping myself at knife point, then trying drowning, words like I've had you in the first 3 months didn't want you any more.
My words (it wounded creature) when I say it's over, it's over.( Creature saw my eyes back in 94)
So in 2000 I picked myself Off the floor, with cold hardness of a glacier and asked for the keys and creature left.🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
I'm on my fourth narc at the moment but sooo much more aware now and not so emotionally involved. Is there a normal man anywhere?
Great question
I wonder if aversion to intimacy may also be rooted in the disappointments/lack of healthy emotional connection with the parent/s as a child; a young one would find such a rejected attempt at intimacy too devastating to repeat in later circumstances...
I was rejected as a child by my mother, but I crave intimacy as an adult
So true, painful and sad
For a minute in the beginning you started to have a change of heart about the goodness of intimacy from a different point of view. I heard it in your voice.
So glad I found this clip today 🌹👍
wow....what a sad existence of these people.
That "piece of shit" wldnt even give me kiss when I gave him a kiss pout for fun..... Arrrgh
From what I'm learning about these fools, it's best NOT TO KISS THEM, they are dirty, trifling and will screw anything that walks....male or female NARCS are just HOES & for the streets! Don't kiss that mouth 😏 👄🙄
Intimacy means expressing emotions- narcissists cannot express emotions- they don't know what emotions are
I thought they were incapable of attaching, I don't think it's a choice
HORRIBLE AND COLD IN BED JUST ABOUT PLEASING THEMSELVES
When she kissed me I thought I was kissing a Ghost I felt no intimacy or feeling more like a ZOMBIE
Christopher Lee Dracula lives!
A true pathological narcissist has no "attachment" mechanism - hence, the reason for the developmental disturbance in the first place.
Because im your NAAAAARCYYYYY & YOUR MY EMPAAAAATH
The Power of Narc Love.
@@hgtudor-theultra yep
🤣🤣
knoble1985 🤣
Forgive me HG but everything you said is all coming from your childhood, emotional detachment, value , devalue , discard. Are you really happy with what you are ? I cannot imagine what it feels like to not give & receive love. I pray one day that you understand there is help out there for your kind.
He was in and out over within seconds
And he wispered under his voice "(oh) and she likes hugs..." (then only adminstering after making me upset - when you almost feel yuk leave me alone). "Oh, she (unsure) takes awhile to decide..." "Oh, you and your negative energy"... What was that? ( he liked to remind me I was negative energy in his spiritual expertise - how else did I attract all these bad things in my life?). Me: I dont like you keep calling me negative energy (esp trying to do something positive). "I didn't say that". (definitely did). I guess that was the first clear count of gaslighting.
Ok, so why the f**k am I getting chest pains, longing and waking up at 3am, loving and missing him (yeah the beginning) but after the "quilitine severe" it messed me up, and him poking and what felt like breaking my pillars of strenght through trauma. And left me confused. About so many parts of the events before he shockingly confusingly left me... its been such a long time and my body still hasnt recouperated. Yet he made me feel like he was only helping me, and just got frustrated that I would never change never be good enough.. never leave the past behind. I was stupid and naive to fall for him, but now, after so many other bad experiences, he was the cherry on the cake, I have become a recluse, feeling from the inside out a weirdo, and a black sheep of society. I dont want to get hurt and give anyone anymore chances. Damn, my weak feelings if I do ... it seems some of the narcissist has rubbed off on me, and not in a good way... f b4 I was one of the most gullible empaths going, at least he opened my eyes somewhat that so many times in the past before him I refused to see. Behold a teacher , but never a lover. 😥
Well put as always
Hi HG, do you think a job in robotics or programming would be good for narcs? I had a programming professor once say " If you have control issues, just become a programmer." 😆 My boyfriend and I are both programmers though I'm more on the side of software Quality assurance and I think my professor is correct. You do get a great feeling when you see you program execute and do what you want it to do. Or do you actually need an emotional reaction too? Like would Androids be more suited for your kind because you could literally program and control them?
You are no more than the chosen additive picked.
A adornment, an accessory specifically picked for whatever the narcissists outfit is.
One of many accessories in the collection, each one to go with a different outfit the narcissist has.
And easily replaceable if need be.
Yup...
Sure didn't like being nothing more than just a inanimate object, as near equality to that of one of her purses.
However...
The Narcissist should bare this in mind, discard or not,...
If we're to be only thought of as of nothing more than a thing in a collection.
One should realize that,...
Things can get lost, go missing, misplaced, and even stolen.
Hey!
On a different take of an old saying;
It is what it is,.. cause "Things" happen.
They happen all the time.
Can happen to anyone.
Sure be prudent to not think it couldn't happen to a Narcissist.
Things happen.
And that's also a key for the person who's involved with a narcissist, and understand the double entender I'm saying about making something happen for you in your best interests on a decision which ultimately comes down ourselves.
It doesn't have to be a IPPS it can be a NPPS. She is not with someone don't ask how I know that for sure. She moved me out and moved her daughter in her daughter NPPS. Lost 20 years of my life for her. Thanks for EDUCATION HG!! Wish I knew this info long ago.
Hahahaha Celine Dion. I have always been disgusted and yet intrigued about my ex husband, the lessor, having sex with me twice the night before he left.
Intimacy is a device or a tool like a hammer
Gosh how much He loves Celine Dion!!
Indeed. We had an extended golden period and i understood he allowed himself to go way deeper in intimacy then he planned. He was real and vulnerable for some time. Not lovebombing mirroring shit, but deep stuff. but one day he just clicked and completely shut down. withdraw emotionally and we never achieved that point ever again. I asked him why he changed overnight, he said its a defense mechanism. If only i understood at that moment.
HG they’re really functioning properly, you are not functioning properly.
Hugs are awful aren't they? Mine was a back pattern lol
I'm about to move on I feel I'm going to lose my mind I just want to love him and show him I can love him like no one has and he's like a brick
Welcome to the butcher shop... chop chop...
Céline Dion ??!!?? Now that's a good one !!!!
Celine Dion! ;-) Brilliant.... we would all draw the line there.
What is wrong with Celine Dion? I need an explanation hg😁
Singing along with Celine Dion becomes a Bridge too Far.
Yes, Celine Dion the love child of Elvis and Linda Thompson, 💘.
Why does the desire to be free make one a narcissist? What if you exist better without romantic attachments?
What if there is no reduction in fuel, will the narcissist discard? Reject intimacy?
Upper lesser Type B - 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m a little confused HG TUDOR. It’s been 2 years since I seen my ex, we haven’t seen intimate at all and of course he has attempted to get me back however I haven’t not returned and have no desire too. Why is it he’s trying to have intimacy? He knows I’m aware he’s a narcissist. Please explain!!! By the way your great.
He knows or thinks you want intimacy in order to feel closer to him. So he will put on the hoovering/good guy costume until he gets what he wants from you.
Then, the same awful behavior repeats itself through time, might even be worse than it was originally.
He still thinks you will crumble
He only wants to re-fuel but being intimate …. nah no way.
@@BrendaBaBoom Correct, correct, correct.....they use the word intimacy for US to think it's something, but just feeding the egotistical, self-centered BEAST! Sex to hook us,, kind words, fake affection, then the torture cycle continues.....don't go backwards, once you're out stay out!!
Celine Escaped the wrath❤💣I'm not so sure Tudor I've listened to some of her tunes in my past life🎩Enjoy rescuing puppies do you. Hilarious this particular vid but I'm not laughing at you I laughed due to the comedy in It.
Attachment to me ? Huh no wonder things played out as they did.
FACTS
The best sex I've ever had , it will Never happen again he said , 17 yrs it never did.
Anita Archambault,
Were you waiting for children
to mature before you left?
Tell him to go to hell
Wow, just awful!
So projected intimacy is used to make the target feel that they are being treated normally and that it is a relationship that may endure.I can see why you do that.You embed this idea by allowing them to move in although they are unaware it is a temporary arrangement.This is done to ensure they fall in love but you remain unaffected other than getting your needs met.Until it becomes stale and other potential fresher fuel must be selected.My thought patterns have already come up with the answer.You need to open up an escort agency.Plenty of fuel and the applicants would know what they are doing and none of that messy intimacy. I'm a genius!
Like a black widow spider...
Ah, so a replacement needs to be installed immediately or the narcissist will experience the inner depths of their nothingness. The outward focus on the placement distracts and keeps the narc outwardly focused…. distracted…. avoiding experiencing their own pathetic nothingness.
“feel more presenting that ever present chasm of oblivion” - @hgtudor
Narcs on their own are pathetic and loathsome. This is why they need to suck the life out of their closest companions.
Interesting talk about bonding… because bonding is PROTECTIVE and keeps people from
hurting each other. Without bonding and attachment, abuse can occur because the protective layer is non-existent with these mal-functioning losers.
Well y'all missing out
Celine Dion is ok. But Helene Fischer would definitely be the moment to draw a line as far as I am concerned 💀💀💀😛
Like vampires...
Hahaha you really don't like Celine Dion 🤣
Ty
Not sure what made your kind so weird but WOW this is wierd
See "What Makes a Narcissist" although at the moment my mind is considering how you managed to misspell weird in the same sentence!
@@fomalhaut7722 As if!!! ☺