Grief. It looks like this (but feels like that)
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- Опубліковано 7 чер 2024
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Behind the scenes with Liz and Brian.
Lately, when I drop into bed at night, I find myself asking how on earth I got through the last twelve hours. Quite often, I don't remember what I did or half of what I said.
Yet, if you passed me in the street, you'd think I was a normal person going about her day, coping. Doing grown-up stuff. Making videos. Living without a mum. Buying milk.
This episode was inspired by you.
It is made in recognition of all those who have reached out to us. People who have shown their love and support and shared their grief journey stories. People who, from the outside, look happy and sorted and appear to have it all together.
But, like me, they don't. Not always. And that's okay.
As a good friend told me, "Grief is a journey, not a destination", and today, Brian and I would like to share this behind-the-scenes conversation with you so neither of us has to make that journey alone.
Always remember: our hearts beat with yours.
Arohanui
Liz and Brian xx
Links mentioned in the show:
🇳🇿 Our MOVING TO NEW ZEALAND FREE 5-DAY VIDEO GUIDE.
Showcasing life in New Zealand. This will also lead you to more details of the NZAhead Community that Liz and Brian talk about 🇳🇿
itsadrama.com/ilovenz/
Liz's Front Row newsletter.
The best of my writing is shared in my weekly newsletter. I would love to share my heartfelt thoughts on life with you.
Get the Front Row Newsletter here ➡️: itsadrama.com/frontrow/
Thank you for commenting and saying hi, and thank you so very much for being you. You are wonderful. X
Oh Liz, we are so sorry that you are having such a hard time dealing with grief😢. Remember, grief is a very personal experience when we lose someone we love. You are a person who needs to talk, and we are so happy to see that you are sharing your signs, observing them, and understanding them🥰. You are definitely helping many people Liz, by sharing your experiences. Love the 3H advice-it's really great.👍 The experience yiu had wt mom writting yoyr notes with you was profound. 💖 She is always woth you. 💖You both are amazing.
Brian, you definitely have a great voice. So calm and soothing. 🥰You are such a wise man. You made us laugh so much when you talked about your sleeping meditation for Liz - "Sleeping with Brian"😂 ... that's the perfect title. It's so refreshing to see you laughing and joking again. 🙏The chips story was hilarious... I can't believe you ate them! 😂
We love you 💖💖💖stay safe and take care of each other.😘
Thank you our lovely friends, your kind words always touch our hearts. Thank you xx ❤️
Another podcast from the heart - great subject matter that helps us who follow you get closure on your trials and tribulations. Agree that Brian's voice has a certain quality - I would call it "condensed milk over gravel" smooth over rough. Until next time - look after yourselves and good wishes - MrGxx
Ohhh....I love you, Mr G, I really do xxx
PS: Thank you for being you ❤️
so admire your courage, honesty and vulnerability in sharing this with us all. Thank you x
We have been made to feel safe by people like you, Jill. Thank you, always ❤️ Liz and Brian xx
When we lost dad , mum said just because I am not visibly crying does not mean I am not crying inside -that was a wake up call to me as to how mum was really feeling -holding it together is one thing but let close family know how you really feel
Thank you for being with us and for sharing about your dad's loss Iain, are heart is with you ❤️
Oh Liz, I so feel for you ❤. I get the confusion, forgetfulness, lack of confidence and on and on. This is me. And yes Bri, everybody copes differently. So so true. I just wish some of my family realised this. In the past 9 yrs, it was firstly my Mum passing ( my Dad passed 7 yrs prior) then my littlest granddaughter, suddenly, at age 13 mnths, then my brother, then most recently, my middle son. What I find so hard is that I cannot talk about losing my son with his two brothers. We are all coping differently and the last thing they want to do is go back there. So I can't bring it up without them vocalising they don't want to go there. So I do my best not to collapse in my friends arms every time I see her. I so hate that that happens, but it just swells up, held in for so long. It happens when I'm driving at times. Bri, exactly, we just want to be heard.
Liz, panic attacks are horrific. My first one I thought I was dying. I have had them in supermarkets and had to just leave my trolley and walk out. I have anxiety attacks and that sounds like what Bri described. They really can be frightening. Having them whilst driving can be terrible. Sending so many hugs to you both 💌💫💌💫. Thank you so much for this video.xx
What a very heartfelt, brave and warm message, Lesley. You do not know how much it means to us to hear your stories; we feel immensely privileged. Thank you, lovely friend. Sending you a BIG hug ❤️ Liz and Brian xx
🌹🌹@@ItsaDrama
thanks guys and hugs as always.
Thank you, Anna ❤️
I'm lying in bed on Sunday morning listening to this. Thank you both so much, so much resonated with me, took me back to those times in my life. And panic attacks are the worst, just awful, like you're about to die. I think most of us have our "public" face.... We can be great actors when we need to be! I could empathise with so much of what you said. And how lovely to go to bed with Brian! Xxx
Good Sunday morning my lovely friend! How glad to have you with us! I hope your Sunday is filled with peace and happiness. Thank you again, Chris, for being you xx
@@ItsaDrama And you have a lovely peaceful Sunday evening. xxxx
Time and love girl - it gets better - I know.
Bri mine is AC-DC or Deep Purple - me alone. Keep the car floor mats clean ya never know.
Followed the DRAMA for some time ..... today feel even closer to you both, Thank You.
We love you, Mark. You really are wonderful. Thank you xxx
Liz, when I lost my Momma several years ago, there were so many times that I wanted to call her and tell her something, only to remember she was gone. I had all that stuff inside me that I had to tell her, so I bought a journal. I call it "Letters to Mom." And I would just make entries like I was talking directly to her. I know this is probably not for everyone, but as a writer, it really helped me. I just thought it might work for you, too. So sorry you are going thru this. I wrote in it almost every day at first and it has dwindled over the years, but I still write in it from time to time. It's not easy and my Momma has been gone for 18 years.
Dear Claudia,
Thank you so very much for this beautiful message. I hope you don't mind but I read your suggestion of a 'Letters to Mom' out on our latest podcast, (released on YT on Sunday) I needed others to hear your wonderful idea. Thank you again for your kindness, you really are wonderful. Thank you ❤️ Liz x
Hello Liz and hi Brian.
You wear your heart on your sleeve.
Lovely to see and hear you both. A beautiful podcast. Sending much love.
Kiwi back in NZ
🥝🥝🥝
Hello lovely Roi!
Thank you so much for being with us, and yay! You are back home! I hope you are happy and well my friend. Sending you so much love 🥰 Liz and Brian xx
Panic attacks are absolutely awful.You have my deepest understanding. Using breathing techniques are very helpful.
I'm so cross as I wrote a long reply yesterday and I somehow managed to make it vanish. I'm clever like that!
Please try and find the poem by Donna Ashworth called You're the Ghost. It's very beautiful and maybe will resonate with you Liz.
Just know, you are not alone, don't rush yourself, Brian has lots of wise thoughts and words.
Oh, the chips in the car made me laugh. Totally relate. How many couples yell at each other in the car, I'd love to know :)
YOU’RE THE GHOST
There’s a part of the grieving process,
where your soul kind of leaves your body too.
As though it’s off searching for the one you lost,
somewhere in the ether.
You walk around,
doing all the right things,
putting one foot in front of the other,
living,
but it’s really as though you’re the ghost.
Perhaps you are.
Perhaps your soul searches,
until you find the one you miss,
and they tell you to go back and live.
So, when that numbness passes brave one,
maybe it’s time to do what you are told,
go back and live,
twice as hard.
You don’t belong there in the ether,
nor do you need to search for the one you lost,
they find you.
And when they do, you’ll feel it.
Donna Ashworth
Dear Wendy,
I got your message today, and I immediately went to find the poem. I read it and cried. It resonated with me so very, very much. I remembered that if I feel like this, others must too. And they need to read it.
So, thank you once again Wendy. For your thoughtfulness, your kindness and for your friendship. You are true and beautiful.
With love,
Liz xx
Thank you for sharing this. You inspire me to say, "may the breeze of healing touch you, may the words of empathy are listened by your heart,. Please remember, mother is the name of God on children's lips. Love you and yours soooo much.
What a beautiful, beautiful message, Honey. Thank YOU so very much for your kindness and love. Thank you ❤️ Liz and Brian
Great podcast as always Liz and Brian. Funny story about the chips. 🍟 😅
Glad you enjoyed it, Lorraine 🥰 Thank you for joining us!
Oh Liz when I watched your recent video on food what I saw was a vulnerable woman trying to deliver your natural artistry. What I see is you struggling back to what was your normal. There is nothing fake about your attempts to feel normal and incorporate your grief, including the guilt for those moments of laughter. My Mum passed when I was 19 of cancer, from diagnosis to passing was four months. What I can tell you was when she passed one of my immediate emotions was relief it was over for her and the family, and then a bombshell of guilt - what sort of horrific daughter am I. Any moment of normalcy that I felt for a long time after came compounded with associated guilt. I feel lucky to listen to you and Bri because although time passing has allowed me to thrive beyond my personal grief I am still learning and encouraged by what you both share. I truly believe that you are helping others to heal by sharing your reality through your grief journey.
Whakawhetai koe (Thank you) Liz and Bri.
Arohanui Tracy.
Beautiful.
How lucky I am to have you in my life, Tracy. Even though we have never met, I feel incredibly close and grateful to know you. Your words, your insights...your beautiful language, everything...
Ngā mihi nui my lovely Tracy. Have a fabulous week
Liz xx (and Bri xx)
Take care my sweet and lean into Bri. You are both beautiful people with big hearts.
😂😂😂😂love ❤️ the 🍟 story
Hehehe! Only those who stay to the end get the juicy goss, Marlène 😂 Sending you so much love my friend ❤️ x
😅🍟🍟🚗🐶👟👟🐕👏👍Precious! 😂
😂 Yup...nice and gritty....😂
PS.
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What's red and bad for your teeth ??
A brick .........
Hahaha! I'm going to collect these Mark and turn them in to a book! You are wonderful, thank you for being here with us xx