The facial open-ness thing is so real. I have downturned eyes and mouth and only recently learned that’s a HUGE reason strangers don’t respond warmly to me lol. So I tried walking around with a smile as my resting face and yep, instant shift into being greeted warmly by most people. I went back to my rbf almost immediate lol but at least now I know it’s not personal.
Jordan does have a blind spot here as someone who prefers not to have company in the first place. People aren't often both well adjusted >and< perfect little nuclear units. People going through shortages of human connection aren't just out hunting for casual conversation lmao. Half of us work service jobs, we're up to our eyeballs in passive social interactions. In my experiece, most super lonely people fall into two boats: Either nobody gives a shit about them, or /they/ don't give a shit about the people who do. Jordan even describes the latter case when he's forced to go hang out with people, but he's obviously already got fulfilling relationships elsewhere in his life so it's w/e. We can't all be garish technicolour zen misanthropes, Jordan. That lane is filled!
I agree and I will state I am aware of my issues tried to change them but the pain makes me reoffend. And I have really tried to make new friends or rekindle old friendships. I think in my case I am in the other's don't give a shit bracket. And I mention this next issue not searching for pitty, but because it's a huge reason why I am alone and unless your in this position you will never understand this unless you were orphaned. That my entire family are all now deceased. I cannot stress enough how much this effects a person. It's a little like feeling stranded. I cannot explain it well. I loved and valued the people in my life. I miss them immensely and I have been alone since 2018 since my partner of 14yrs called it quits. I realise I am not perfect nor infallible but I really did give it all for the sake of the relationship and those I loved. Sorry, I agree with you.
Honestly, the one thing that has got me through life as a severely traumatised introvert (I've learnt to cope, no1 can tell unless I tell them), is smiling. I trip over greetings, so I'm SMILE, nod, pleasant face. Really gets you through life so much by just showing pleasant smiley face
I listened to the video twice so i wasnt lonely for 44 minutes....but now i learnt there is a loop function for this video so yeah....im never gonna be alone now 😅
Jordan. A study came out a couple weeks ago and it found about half the increase in anxiety, depression, lonliness, bipolar is entirely attributed to the decrease in the amount of sleep people are getting. So get off your phone and go to bed.
I know this well. I had loads of "friends" on Facebook, how could I be lonely? It's not the same. At all. Since I quit all sm, my life has improved immeasurably. Love from a person of the sponge obsessed variety x
@@folksurvival Alright, caught. That did occur to me, and I actually considered adding a caveat, but lasiness won that one. I drop the occasional comment here on yt, tis true, but not often, and always try to be positive, I really needed to stop arguing with random cnts, so I did and that feels like quitting something, too.
@@gemh89 I was partly joking because I'm not sure UA-cam counts as Social Media as it's more just a video hosting platform with comments but you're right about how arguing with random people online can be a bad habit and can be similar to the negative aspects of social media platforms.
20:45 especially, overthinking to make yourself think 'it's now or never, if I don't succeed in this next conversation then it is proof that I will never be socially accepted' is completely flawed thinking that for some reason the brain tends to.
hmmmmm imo lonliness isnt just "i need to hang out w someone for the sake of it" but also more like QUALITY of relationships. we want to see others and be seen on a deeper level. im fine alone, but i'd love to share beautiful moments with others. ofc me and alot of people get that FOMO but i think theres something deeper too. ig my point is theres a difference in what people are looking for. most people i think a balance of being okay with the self but also having MEANINGFUL connections is good. theres solutions for both, u just gotta figure out what you need to work on depending on it. just perspective of someone whos been alone and ok to lonely but more sociable since a small child. having empathy/compassion for yourself, then for others sounds like a no brainer but its the best step you can take and important to remember in a world that doesnt value it much.
A sense of belonging and acceptance perhaps? Look up Maslow's hierarchy of needs and belongingness, i think you'll find it puts into words what you understand in your head but hard to describe 🙂
This is soo well put and describes everything i went through as a teen, i wish i couldve told myself back then to just stick it out, focus on something real and persue it rather than try follow everyone else. I only really accepted myself 3 years back, and im quiet comfortable with my own company, that doesnt mean that i dont socialize from time to time. Im naturally an introverted person and a pretty socially awkward one at that. But it's not holding me back because i realized that i was persuing the life of another person rather than my own. Now im almost too comfortable with my own company and im finding it hard to balance it over friends haha
Awesome video Jordan! I think you’ve got some really good insights here, and it helps that you’re super funny 😅 One thing that I would add for people who struggle to connect and be authentic around others - try to force your attention outwards as much as possible. Train yourself to observe others rather than paying attention to self - talk (which is often negative) Make comments to others about things that you’ve observed. Sounds simple but it makes conversations flow smoothly
I think people just forget that friendship takes effort. I don't put any effort into many friendships. When me and former friends were around each other because of convenience, ie: work, school, church, AA, etc... We spent a lot of time together and our friendship flourished. But the fact of the matter was, as soon as those circumstances ended, I didn't do anything to maintain those friendships and they withered. The only friends I have now are the ones I kept in touch with and made an effort to go out of my way to see and spend time with.
Some excellent advice. As someone who likes his own company and enjoyed the initial lockdown, I hadn't made the connection between being a loner and not feeling lonely.
Well actually, sort of no. It's been years, but this self-help stuff has finally started to pay dividends, and they are just getting better, and better. Hell, I've even started talking to girls, out of my own volition, which is a big step for me, and it really is does just feel the best when out of the blue your efforts get rewarded. Thanks Shanks !
Fuck I laughed so many times during this. Thanks Jordan. I didn't realise about the eyebrows things. GOnna try that. I swear I squint eyebrows down a lot because i have astigmatism and it helps to see without glasses. But people must take that as being .. angry or whatever?
This is why self help youtube channels suck a 20min video has better advice on how to make friends and how to be less alone, and its easy to put what jordan said into practice (well maybe not easy but it's simple advice with a clear goal) than most the channels have in there entire endless stream of self help content. Being someone that was alone I can say this advice is true and actually one of the best things you can do. Which is get yourself out of the endless cycle of feeling sorry for yourself because you think no one likes you because its easier to wallow in despair than to actually think and take action about your loneliness, and just start saying yes to more things and go out to more social events, even if its (not your thing) and please do not go down the black pill rabbit hole those guys are actual losers.
I agree with the first half but not the "FOMO" part. Yes, some people do experience social FOMO, but there is an actual need for us to interact with others. There's a form of joy and fulfillment unique to social interaction, that we as social creatures have evolved to crave. The difference is when people use that joy to escape bad internal emotions or feelings. That's when FOMO comes in. Loneliness and feeling like a loser aren't the same.
The eyebrow point is especially interesting in the age of Botox! And I mean that in a nice way that there are a lot of friendly people whose faces don’t express their openness - it’s great to be aware of this on a conscious level :)
10:48 who knew my Autistic arse being always "happy" I front of people was the reason I made friends. Just thaught cause I was fat I was easier to talk to. Thank you for telling me my learnt behaviours to avoid conflict is the reason I make mild friends
Andrew Ridgeley gave the jacket to his sister when he was told he was out of the band. She moved to Matraville and became a hoarder-cat lady who died from Covid in 2021. They cleaned out her back shed and gave all the old clothes to Good Sammies. Jordan found it there. Facts may vary but it's a cool story.
Johann Hari "Lost Connections" He doesn’t need his leg back he just needs a cow. Hari's books "Lost Connections" and "Chasing The Scream" changed my life. 🙏❤😊
the fact that Jordan consistently makes fun of warhammer whenever he gets the opportunity is hilarious to me as I have been obsessed with it for a great many years. I always look forward to the next time it happens.
A question in a uni psychology exam reads - "Jordan reads a self-help book in the hope of improving his low self-esteem. The book instructs him to say out loud: "I am a lovable person." According to Wood et al.'s (2009) research on self-affirmation:" (the answer was "this should make Jordan feel worse.") Coincidence? I think not. Perhaps some uni professor has it out for poor Jordies :(
We live at a time when we have absurdly easy access to an unprecedented amount of info so I think the trick is using tech wisely to gains skills and then go find people to talk to about it. 😊
Lonely is just a condition. Those who explore their vast inner Universe are never lonely Very few people truly explore their inner matrix which has no limits.
I’m pretty sure I’m lonely because I am extremely disagreeable to most people. And schizophrenic… Also this is a 23 minute video so I’m looking forward to the 13 minutes of unfriendliness. Which I should expect anyway
Millennial, here. I get it. Back when I was your age every group of friends had a weird, creepy, middle-aged guy that would hang out with them. What you should do is let me be that for you. I'll take you under my wing and we'll figure this out together.
On a completely unrelated matter. Insurance adds. When they say, “my family will have financial peace of mind if something happens to me” 🤔 Don’t they mean? … “ when something happens to me” Note: Talking as though death is optional does not make death optional.
Jordies, my brother, flip the image or the light source. Lights coming from the right on your face, but coming from the left on the island. What am i suppose to believe this is some kind of magic island?! Get REAL!
Jim Rohn tier - 1 extra vid Wayne Dyer tier 2 extra vids - see you there - www.patreon.com/jordanshanks
When can we get a full version of the theme music?!?!?!?
Jacket goes hard
Jacket goes = H. H. H. H. A. A. A. R. R. R. D. D. D.
I go hard for the jacket
The jacket has since fled to a non-extradition jurisdiction owing to embezzlement charges.
Jordan is like the complete opposite of every other self help guru out there and I'm here for it!
He's had this channel for years but nobody's really watched it but he's does really good content.
@deletereddit1102 does the term Lingua Franca mean anything to ya? Linguistic term...
@deletereddit1102 sounds like someone hasn't deleted reddit yet
The facial open-ness thing is so real. I have downturned eyes and mouth and only recently learned that’s a HUGE reason strangers don’t respond warmly to me lol. So I tried walking around with a smile as my resting face and yep, instant shift into being greeted warmly by most people. I went back to my rbf almost immediate lol but at least now I know it’s not personal.
10/10 video. “If you’re feeling lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company”.
Jordan does have a blind spot here as someone who prefers not to have company in the first place. People aren't often both well adjusted >and< perfect little nuclear units. People going through shortages of human connection aren't just out hunting for casual conversation lmao. Half of us work service jobs, we're up to our eyeballs in passive social interactions. In my experiece, most super lonely people fall into two boats: Either nobody gives a shit about them, or /they/ don't give a shit about the people who do.
Jordan even describes the latter case when he's forced to go hang out with people, but he's obviously already got fulfilling relationships elsewhere in his life so it's w/e.
We can't all be garish technicolour zen misanthropes, Jordan. That lane is filled!
I agree and I will state I am aware of my issues tried to change them but the pain makes me reoffend. And I have really tried to make new friends or rekindle old friendships.
I think in my case I am in the other's don't give a shit bracket.
And I mention this next issue not searching for pitty, but because it's a huge reason why I am alone and unless your in this position you will never understand this unless you were orphaned.
That my entire family are all now deceased.
I cannot stress enough how much this effects a person. It's a little like feeling stranded.
I cannot explain it well.
I loved and valued the people in my life. I miss them immensely and I have been alone since 2018 since my partner of 14yrs called it quits.
I realise I am not perfect nor infallible but I really did give it all for the sake of the relationship and those I loved.
Sorry, I agree with you.
Honestly, the one thing that has got me through life as a severely traumatised introvert (I've learnt to cope, no1 can tell unless I tell them), is smiling. I trip over greetings, so I'm SMILE, nod, pleasant face. Really gets you through life so much by just showing pleasant smiley face
Change your doomy handle. Language is massive programming force that projects in every direction.
Feel like Jordan can read my mind as he releases videos based on the negative sht I would be going through
I listened to the video twice so i wasnt lonely for 44 minutes....but now i learnt there is a loop function for this video so yeah....im never gonna be alone now 😅
Jordan. A study came out a couple weeks ago and it found about half the increase in anxiety, depression, lonliness, bipolar is entirely attributed to the decrease in the amount of sleep people are getting. So get off your phone and go to bed.
GIVE ME THE CITATION, YARGH. IT BE ME, THE INFORMATION PIRATE.
I am in my bed and on my phone at 3am
I would love to read where you found this.
I know this well. I had loads of "friends" on Facebook, how could I be lonely? It's not the same. At all. Since I quit all sm, my life has improved immeasurably. Love from a person of the sponge obsessed variety x
"Since I quit all sm"
Said in a comment on sm.
@@folksurvival Alright, caught. That did occur to me, and I actually considered adding a caveat, but lasiness won that one. I drop the occasional comment here on yt, tis true, but not often, and always try to be positive, I really needed to stop arguing with random cnts, so I did and that feels like quitting something, too.
@@gemh89 I was partly joking because I'm not sure UA-cam counts as Social Media as it's more just a video hosting platform with comments but you're right about how arguing with random people online can be a bad habit and can be similar to the negative aspects of social media platforms.
Thanks Jordan I really needed that
Sydney is a lonely place. I loved Brisbane lotsa mates but soon as i moved here, isolation for 5 years.
Wanna go to the beach?
20:45 especially, overthinking to make yourself think 'it's now or never, if I don't succeed in this next conversation then it is proof that I will never be socially accepted' is completely flawed thinking that for some reason the brain tends to.
Yep. Gave up most social medias like a year or so ago and i gotta say, now I feel a lot better from a day to day basis
This is way up there with the best advice anyone could ever get for the duration of their life. Hands down.
this is very good advice fot the young people Jordan Shanks. Thanks for sharing
Jesus Jordan I was going to SEND this to my mum. Glad I watched the whole thing first
I find talking to myself helps.
I love virtually hanging out with jordies in the virtual Bahamas
Very funny, got a couple of giggles and got some really helpful tips. Love it and subbed for more!
0:01 thank you Jordan, I'll rip a cone to that
This video was so chaotic and informative! I am going to binge this instead of finding people to spend time with
Apes together strong
hmmmmm imo lonliness isnt just "i need to hang out w someone for the sake of it" but also more like QUALITY of relationships. we want to see others and be seen on a deeper level. im fine alone, but i'd love to share beautiful moments with others. ofc me and alot of people get that FOMO but i think theres something deeper too. ig my point is theres a difference in what people are looking for. most people i think a balance of being okay with the self but also having MEANINGFUL connections is good. theres solutions for both, u just gotta figure out what you need to work on depending on it. just perspective of someone whos been alone and ok to lonely but more sociable since a small child. having empathy/compassion for yourself, then for others sounds like a no brainer but its the best step you can take and important to remember in a world that doesnt value it much.
not shitting on the video at all just saying for people who have become sociable and are ok alone but dont know why theyre still lonely.
A sense of belonging and acceptance perhaps?
Look up Maslow's hierarchy of needs and belongingness, i think you'll find it puts into words what you understand in your head but hard to describe 🙂
This is soo well put and describes everything i went through as a teen, i wish i couldve told myself back then to just stick it out, focus on something real and persue it rather than try follow everyone else. I only really accepted myself 3 years back, and im quiet comfortable with my own company, that doesnt mean that i dont socialize from time to time. Im naturally an introverted person and a pretty socially awkward one at that. But it's not holding me back because i realized that i was persuing the life of another person rather than my own. Now im almost too comfortable with my own company and im finding it hard to balance it over friends haha
The way he expresses his points is so funny and unique I love it. It's so engaging, thank you for these videos :)
Awesome video Jordan! I think you’ve got some really good insights here, and it helps that you’re super funny 😅
One thing that I would add for people who struggle to connect and be authentic around others - try to force your attention outwards as much as possible. Train yourself to observe others rather than paying attention to self - talk (which is often negative)
Make comments to others about things that you’ve observed. Sounds simple but it makes conversations flow smoothly
I think people just forget that friendship takes effort. I don't put any effort into many friendships. When me and former friends were around each other because of convenience, ie: work, school, church, AA, etc... We spent a lot of time together and our friendship flourished. But the fact of the matter was, as soon as those circumstances ended, I didn't do anything to maintain those friendships and they withered. The only friends I have now are the ones I kept in touch with and made an effort to go out of my way to see and spend time with.
Some excellent advice. As someone who likes his own company and enjoyed the initial lockdown, I hadn't made the connection between being a loner and not feeling lonely.
Very solid advice
OMG you just described my life from your moment of self awareness onwards. I always have positive relations with people. Thank you 🙏🏻 Sincerely.
Well actually, sort of no. It's been years, but this self-help stuff has finally started to pay dividends, and they are just getting better, and better. Hell, I've even started talking to girls, out of my own volition, which is a big step for me, and it really is does just feel the best when out of the blue your efforts get rewarded. Thanks Shanks !
Women. Talking to women. Talking to girls will land you in jail
such a good video. very funny. love your stuff mate
Love getting bullied by Mr Jordy. Also you should get matching sunnies for that jacket.
Wow, this was genuinely a good piece of advice
Thank you ❤
whered you get that jacket? btw everything your saying is spot on!
I guess I'm a bit late to the rebranding party, but what happened to Friendlies? :(
i can block out hunger easily. To the point of malnutrition. Ive done it 4 times since 2018. Loneliness is something that i cannot shrug off.
Fuck I laughed so many times during this. Thanks Jordan. I didn't realise about the eyebrows things. GOnna try that. I swear I squint eyebrows down a lot because i have astigmatism and it helps to see without glasses. But people must take that as being .. angry or whatever?
This is why self help youtube channels suck a 20min video has better advice on how to make friends and how to be less alone, and its easy to put what jordan said into practice (well maybe not easy but it's simple advice with a clear goal) than most the channels have in there entire endless stream of self help content. Being someone that was alone I can say this advice is true and actually one of the best things you can do. Which is get yourself out of the endless cycle of feeling sorry for yourself because you think no one likes you because its easier to wallow in despair than to actually think and take action about your loneliness, and just start saying yes to more things and go out to more social events, even if its (not your thing) and please do not go down the black pill rabbit hole those guys are actual losers.
Where do you get the jacket lol probably op shop😢
The background is fine
would you just shut up?
I agree with the first half but not the "FOMO" part. Yes, some people do experience social FOMO, but there is an actual need for us to interact with others. There's a form of joy and fulfillment unique to social interaction, that we as social creatures have evolved to crave.
The difference is when people use that joy to escape bad internal emotions or feelings. That's when FOMO comes in.
Loneliness and feeling like a loser aren't the same.
jordan dressed like 4 wiggles in 1 lol
Underrated comment
@@IceWraith-jp5kq 😘
I love being alone most of the time.
There is a huge difference between being alone, ans being lonely.
people just need to find their own people..
What self help book would you recommend for a beginner?
The eyebrow point is especially interesting in the age of Botox! And I mean that in a nice way that there are a lot of friendly people whose faces don’t express their openness - it’s great to be aware of this on a conscious level :)
I like Australians because most of you are people who keep it real and have great humor. Great video as always.
10:48 who knew my Autistic arse being always "happy" I front of people was the reason I made friends. Just thaught cause I was fat I was easier to talk to. Thank you for telling me my learnt behaviours to avoid conflict is the reason I make mild friends
A 10minute friend!!! What a deal when you have no friends.
Love the open face stuff, I need to remember that. I'm a big, grumpy looking guy a lot of the time, then I complain that I'm not approachable lol
This is pretty deep.
There are never big earthquakes in Brazil... Not prone to it... And you are always welcome to visit ;)
thank fren
✍🏻wear✍🏻cool✍🏻noisy✍🏻jacket.
✍🏻keep✍🏻eyebrows✍🏻raised.
✍🏻don’t✍🏻reject✍🏻Nath.
Add-
Befriend pig
Roast and eat pig
Hang out with mum
😂
What if i have no eyebrows
I need to know where Jordan got that jacket. It's great.
Andrew Ridgeley gave the jacket to his sister when he was told he was out of the band. She moved to Matraville and became a hoarder-cat lady who died from Covid in 2021. They cleaned out her back shed and gave all the old clothes to Good Sammies. Jordan found it there. Facts may vary but it's a cool story.
Johann Hari "Lost Connections" He doesn’t need his leg back he just needs a cow. Hari's books "Lost Connections" and "Chasing The Scream" changed my life. 🙏❤😊
the fact that Jordan consistently makes fun of warhammer whenever he gets the opportunity is hilarious to me as I have been obsessed with it for a great many years. I always look forward to the next time it happens.
A question in a uni psychology exam reads - "Jordan reads a self-help book in the hope of improving his low self-esteem. The book instructs him to say out loud: "I am a lovable person." According to Wood et al.'s (2009) research on self-affirmation:" (the answer was "this should make Jordan feel worse.")
Coincidence? I think not. Perhaps some uni professor has it out for poor Jordies :(
"The things that are going to make you sad, upset, angry, disgusted" - all the reasons I watch Friendly Jordies!
Jordie where did you get that jacket? i love it
Jordons just reminded me he needs new Warhammer now after the fire
almost forgot to sign up for the Patreon because I wasn't asked....
I want to shop at the same clothing store as you ❤
I like to be by myself most of the time. No drama, no guessing, just me and my palllet of beer.
"I've got those eastern european" *mmmmff* "eyes" 🤣
4:04 😂😂😂
What if I don't want to be alone or lonely :(
call any one is real advice, i randomly called a cousin just a back and fourth and have a date to meet up now so there you go
man's said the next 10 minutes and talked for 23, what happens in the last 13 minutes?
We live at a time when we have absurdly easy access to an unprecedented amount of info so I think the trick is using tech wisely to gains skills and then go find people to talk to about it. 😊
Lonely is just a condition. Those who explore their vast inner Universe are never lonely
Very few people truly explore their inner matrix which has no limits.
The only way that jacket could get any better would be to wear a hypercolour t shirt beneath.
What’s your jacket
Which jacket is better, this one or the mintie?
I like the jacket ✌🏻
Breaking news, Jordans girlfriend went to a movie with friend i maybe think potentially might have happened
awe inspiring stuff
I’m pretty sure I’m lonely because I am extremely disagreeable to most people. And schizophrenic…
Also this is a 23 minute video so I’m looking forward to the 13 minutes of unfriendliness. Which I should expect anyway
If you're lonely when you're alone, it means you're in bad company.
I'm always alone but never lonely. Am I sick?
Millennial, here. I get it. Back when I was your age every group of friends had a weird, creepy, middle-aged guy that would hang out with them. What you should do is let me be that for you. I'll take you under my wing and we'll figure this out together.
it is really a pain system this social media you really undiscovery this jacob's ladder
It's a good thing I solved this problem for myself 15 years ago
On a completely unrelated matter. Insurance adds. When they say, “my family will have financial peace of mind if something happens to me” 🤔
Don’t they mean? … “ when something happens to me”
Note: Talking as though death is optional does not make death optional.
missed the chance to use the cupid song!
21:43 So, to summarize: "meeting up with my mum was the social interaction I had to have"
Should add a pile of money to success island
Flacco was right - it's a cruel world
Hey Jordan, the 80’s called.. they want their jacket back my dude 😂
rad jacket man
Good video
😂😂😂 if your lonely get a dog or watch one
Jordies, my brother, flip the image or the light source. Lights coming from the right on your face, but coming from the left on the island.
What am i suppose to believe this is some kind of magic island?!
Get REAL!
Plays like: an allergic reaction to cocaine
What's a Nigel?
A loner/loser type who usually doesn't belong to any cliques in school
prob Nigel Nofriends
@channelname1019 ahh. Never heard that one.