busy becoming myself
busy becoming myself
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Building self confidence in dating @MexpatDatingLife
The story of how I deprogrammed myself from Nice Guy to someone fully authentic and confident in speaking to women and dating
Full interview here: ua-cam.com/video/Qv_keimVdOM/v-deo.htmlsi=nSQ2tm1rA4SvSC9n
Переглядів: 200

Відео

How ex-"Nice Guys" can learn boundaries - the art of the Soft NEXT with @MexpatDatingLife
Переглядів 1 тис.2 місяці тому
"Yes men" or "Nice Guys" might struggle to say no to women, never standing up for themselves, and in doing so, losing respect from women, from other men, and from themselves. In this excerpt of the interview I did with @MexpatDatingLife we discuss how to implement this and the challenges men with such backgrounds and conditioning might face along the way. Full interview here: ua-cam.com/video/Q...
Bulking is OVER
Переглядів 9642 місяці тому
Both bodybuilders and amateurs alike have been told for decades that if they want to gain muscle and lose fat, they need to have times when they eat in a calorie surplus (bulking), gaining both muscle and fat, and then eat in a calorie deficit (cutting), to lose the fat while trying not to lose too much muscle. However new research suggests that this really isn't needed. The research: pubmed.nc...
Getting good with the wrong women: How men train themselves to miss out on quality
Переглядів 1,6 тис.2 місяці тому
Many men who want to know how to get good with speaking to and dating women often learn from where things went wrong. But it's possible and all too common to learn the wrong lessons by choosing the wrong women to learn those lessons from. They may make themselves better suited to insecurely attached, emotionally immature women, but in doing so they may shape themselves out of being a good match...
Heal trauma, improve life, feel regret
Переглядів 7683 місяці тому
I made this video because healing my trauma, recovering from cPTSD, and improving my life actually led me to one major point of regret #traumahealing #selfimprovement #relationships #selfesteem #selfworth #cptsd #cptsdrecovery
Overcoming Fear of Success: How to Reach Your FULL Potential @andymholt
Переглядів 7893 місяці тому
Are you ready to break free from the chains of self-doubt and embrace your true potential? In this empowering video, "Overcoming Fear of Success: How to Reach Your FULL Potential," Andy and I dive deep into the psychological barriers that hold you back from achieving greatness. Discover the root causes of fear associated with success and learn actionable strategies to overcome these obstacles. ...
improve body = improve face
Переглядів 1,7 тис.4 місяці тому
A discussion on the effects of lowering bodyfat % on facial appearance and attractiveness #datingadviceformen #relationshipadviceformen #looksmaxxing #gym #fitness Instagram credit: juricafit
"Men leave sick wives" and why people believe BS
Переглядів 4964 місяці тому
A discussion of the retracted study "Till Death Do Us Part" which erroneously concluded that men are more likely to leave sick wives in old age than the other way around. This study was retracted in 2015 yet people still refer to it as if it was fact. This discusses this and why people hold onto ideas that have no evidence Referenced video: ua-cam.com/video/LuhEaVqmhSw/v-deo.html Article discus...
Hollywood ruined male body image
Переглядів 6814 місяці тому
A short discussion of how the ideal male body image went from achievable with hard work in the gym in the early 2000s to impossible for almost everyone without steroids in the 2020s Referenced video: ua-cam.com/video/WEtef9ktMuM/v-deo.html #bodyimageissues #bodyimage #fitness #bodybuilding
Advice for late starters: Men losing their virginity in their 20s
Переглядів 2,2 тис.4 місяці тому
Advice for the late starter man, entering his 20s without much or any sexual experience and finding that every girl he dates is more experienced than he is. #datingadvice #datingadviceformen #relationshipadvice #relationshipadviceformen Referenced videos: On female apex fallacy assumptions of men: ua-cam.com/video/65oM_Emq32A/v-deo.html On when to escalate s3xually: ua-cam.com/video/5iR9cwyzMw8...
The Return of CHADfishing
Переглядів 7294 місяці тому
The Return of CHADfishing
Promiscuity damages men too
Переглядів 1,4 тис.5 місяців тому
Promiscuity damages men too
What if she's not your ideal type?
Переглядів 8465 місяців тому
What if she's not your ideal type?
"I tried to compliment my boyfriend and destroyed our relationship"
Переглядів 1,5 тис.6 місяців тому
"I tried to compliment my boyfriend and destroyed our relationship"
Are you ADDICTED to consuming Dating Advice?
Переглядів 3226 місяців тому
Are you ADDICTED to consuming Dating Advice?
You don't deserve love
Переглядів 3166 місяців тому
You don't deserve love
"Treat them mean, keep them keen"?
Переглядів 8387 місяців тому
"Treat them mean, keep them keen"?
"I wanted him to keep trying (after I said no)"
Переглядів 6 тис.7 місяців тому
"I wanted him to keep trying (after I said no)"
"This is the most r3tarded thing I've seen in a while, and I own a mirror"
Переглядів 3727 місяців тому
"This is the most r3tarded thing I've seen in a while, and I own a mirror"
The thing keeping you single
Переглядів 3928 місяців тому
The thing keeping you single
Why Nice Guys see themselves as good people
Переглядів 2878 місяців тому
Why Nice Guys see themselves as good people
Can marriage be saved?
Переглядів 3208 місяців тому
Can marriage be saved?
Why am I so superficial and shallow?
Переглядів 1,1 тис.8 місяців тому
Why am I so superficial and shallow?
"Just a Friend"-ing your way into a relationship is NOT a win
Переглядів 7708 місяців тому
"Just a Friend"-ing your way into a relationship is NOT a win
Wheat Waffles Waves Goodbye: I disagree with his conclusions but he made some good points
Переглядів 5448 місяців тому
Wheat Waffles Waves Goodbye: I disagree with his conclusions but he made some good points
Low Expectations Stay With You For YEARS
Переглядів 3409 місяців тому
Low Expectations Stay With You For YEARS
Bumble: Women starting conversations is a "burden"
Переглядів 1,2 тис.9 місяців тому
Bumble: Women starting conversations is a "burden"
Developing a State of Serenity and Peace
Переглядів 1279 місяців тому
Developing a State of Serenity and Peace
Stop Wasting Time on the Man vs Bear "debate"!
Переглядів 4459 місяців тому
Stop Wasting Time on the Man vs Bear "debate"!
"Men are Useless" but "Women are Wonderful" ???
Переглядів 3899 місяців тому
"Men are Useless" but "Women are Wonderful" ???

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @vtcanada2000
    @vtcanada2000 День тому

    Excellent. I can relate.

  • @wonderwomen-n5l
    @wonderwomen-n5l 5 днів тому

    Women are very visual too, everyone has a certain type and others like everything.

  • @user-go4zv9fj4l
    @user-go4zv9fj4l 10 днів тому

    I would die to be married to someone like you :((

  • @AugustEpilogue
    @AugustEpilogue 14 днів тому

    Story starts around the 3 minute mark

  • @UFOxBAE
    @UFOxBAE 20 днів тому

    Thank you for this I am entering year 5 and I’m thinking this is the year I have the strength to get out 😢

  • @karami8844
    @karami8844 20 днів тому

    I’m 35F, never been in a relationship because I’m just not interested in sex at all. I find it gross and it’s not due to any trauma, it’s just the way I am. I wouldn’t want to drag a guy into this life either even though it would be nice to meet someone like me and not go through life alone. I wish more people were forthcoming in their low or nonexistent libido instead of making other people feel miserable like this because I know it’s not fair.

  • @WW3_Soon
    @WW3_Soon 21 день тому

    Trading Elias Pettersson instead of the older JT Miller is akin to trading away one of the Sedin twins.

  • @LoraJiron
    @LoraJiron 25 днів тому

    I just came across this story. I am going through this exact sane thing. And I feel like I’m a roommate if my spouse instead of a wife that is beautiful. It’s truly humiliating to experience a marriage where he has no sexual desire towards me. Even if he takes a pill to help out, it doesn’t always work. I don’t even want to go to counseling anymore because I have no desire to work on it myself. No cheating or anything. But it’s very sad. He’s just not into sex. So weird.

  • @eskw4d
    @eskw4d Місяць тому

    What I see it's a man who gone threw hell and now stand for himself and to improve himself. I felt the need of love in your action with your ex. Sharing this with this high perspective, demonstrate the path you choose to take. I respect that. It's inspiring. I know you are on you're on your journey. Your message touch me, even if I'm french and I live a different life. It's deeply beautiful to see a man busy to become himself. Courage

  • @annengohagbe
    @annengohagbe Місяць тому

    Thank you so much for being so brave to share your story because I knew men who were living exactly everything you described here. You also found that ultimate level of self-love to say No, and No more. I am pretty sure that you’ve allowed many men to feel seen and heard. Even if I don’t know you personally, I am so proud of you, that you found the courage to stand for your needs, particularly before any child could be born in this pattern. Indeed, the worse situation is for those who stay for children. What many parents cannot fully assess is how far and deep that situation is going to create in terms of trauma, wounds, and fragmentation in children. And how much time, tools, energy and efforts the children will need to heal. The way a mother or a father stays in relationship is an invisible lesson they are giving to anybody in that house. No wonder many of use wear masks in relationships.We learn that as children in toxic environments. It also sounds like there was an incompatibility of attachment styles, meaning, the wife might have had an avoidant attachment style, and portrayed some covert narcissist personality traits. No secure woman would do what she was doing. And many times people with secure or anxious attachment style will go above and beyond in an emotional asymmetric relationship because of their relational growth mindset:

  • @clich126
    @clich126 Місяць тому

    What size is your willy?. Size matters like a mofo.

  • @TheJamesMalik
    @TheJamesMalik Місяць тому

    7:00 my life 😂😂

  • @daCubanaqt
    @daCubanaqt Місяць тому

    Listening to your story, I believe you married a trophy, not a wife. Many men and women fall into that trap.

  • @AksilOvi
    @AksilOvi Місяць тому

    This is my 8th year in a sexless marriage, and I can’t leave because I have two kids. I don’t know how to handle this. What is the best solution for someone who can’t divorce because of their children? Is cheating a good choice?

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      @@AksilOvi I made a video on the topic of staying for the children which might offer some perspective

  • @braydonbarnes4901
    @braydonbarnes4901 Місяць тому

    I want to ask you this question Would most women specifically peers who are more typically experienced or maybe already starting families i know alot of young moms who are 20-21 would have they have a problem with a 21 year old virgin man and would they likely consider him for a relationship and still find him attractive?

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      @@braydonbarnes4901 I would typically advise men against dating single mothers, and especially so if he is a virgin. Two entirely different places in life, and much incentive for the woman to find someone who wouldn't be her first choice but settle with him because he's safe and willing to sacrifice. When things fall apart he not only loses her but his bond with the child. Single motherhood is a terrible situation and also not your problem.

    • @braydonbarnes4901
      @braydonbarnes4901 Місяць тому

      @busybecomingmyself but I don't really find it a problem I mean my mom had a daughter before she married my dad then had two boys together but that was a example but would a single mom or experienced women age 21 or so likely have problem with a 21 year old virgin man is that a typical red flag or are women more understanding and empathetic and seeking more than I think ? Would they find that unattractive? What's the most likely outcome to expect ?

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      @@braydonbarnes4901 in my experience, women never want to be the "less innocent" / "more slutty" one. By nature they look for a more experienced man. It's a red flag if they don't because they're putting something else above choosing based on who they're actually attracted to. And if you're not number 1 to her, you're both in fir a miserable time.

  • @jdaye560
    @jdaye560 Місяць тому

    Sorry, you were married to a narcissist. Thank you for sharing. God bless you!

  • @glanvilyoung4292
    @glanvilyoung4292 Місяць тому

    Well done mate, you have shown us brothers that we don't have to put up with shallow women. And yes, good sex in a relationship is vital especially in the BDSM world.

  • @merakli07
    @merakli07 Місяць тому

    I'm so sorry for your 7 years of life without sex. I hope you made up for that later. Such a handsome man, but got involved with the wrong person. Is it bad luck? Spiritualism says nothing is by chance. They explain such things by the fact that once you treat someone wrong, you always pay for it in this life or in another. Can't be proved. But it's a good explanation regardless. So in another life, she'll be the guy whose wife will have no interest in him, and will go through the same hell she made you go through now. That's the only way for souls to learn. By direct experience. Somewhat consoling? Thank you for sharing your story.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      "There are no other people" - Krishnamurty

    • @merakli07
      @merakli07 Місяць тому

      @@busybecomingmyself If there is no one else, then you did this to yourself! But WHY? Oh, never mind.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      @@merakli07 not familiar with the concept of atman?

  • @Bambotb
    @Bambotb Місяць тому

    This is insane, unthinkable outside western countries …she is supposed to want kids from you etci wouldn’t tolerate 10 days of this îd leave

  • @BuMohammed-q5v
    @BuMohammed-q5v Місяць тому

    I hope you’re not very different from the person you was because judging by what you just told us about your old version, you were really very good gentleman just with the wrong people.

  • @nicwinston6602
    @nicwinston6602 Місяць тому

    6:20 ...mane!!!!

  • @mr6sg
    @mr6sg Місяць тому

    I think we are all a bit lost. Great women wanting love and bonding sex end up with abusers, same for some man. Grandpa's looking to hook up with women in their 20s ... honestly we are going to therapy but keep super unhappy and alone 😢

  • @richevericheve5156
    @richevericheve5156 Місяць тому

    at least you understand the beauty of sex with one parnter the connection it should have and not use sex for sex ssake like so many people just want to get the pleasure and bad shit happens .thx for sharing a hard truth to share

  • @midnightsunman
    @midnightsunman Місяць тому

    Awsum video! Strrong of you to "get out" with this and sharing other men. This is so tabu for men to talk about. Strong, really!!

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 Місяць тому

    He said that he could not make her happy, healthy person is accountable for their own happiness. Clearly she was gaslighting him, and he was just the cost of doing business.

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 Місяць тому

    He was used. His youth’s limited emotional intelligence and pure heart was his downfall. She saw it and cashed in.

  • @raymondjabbour7323
    @raymondjabbour7323 Місяць тому

    Really i appreciate your way to talk and to share your experience. Best regards for you

  • @dsch2038
    @dsch2038 Місяць тому

    You are such a cute man. With beautiful eyes :)

  • @chefjch
    @chefjch Місяць тому

    Wow.....it sounds like you are telling my story. Thank you for sharing so that I realize I am not alone.

  • @TruthsSake
    @TruthsSake Місяць тому

    “You set us back 6 months now because you just talked about the issue of me not having sex with you.” Wow, what a massive mind game. She got her PHD in manipulation.

  • @مريم-ر6ر1ع
    @مريم-ر6ر1ع Місяць тому

    Bro, either your ex was lesbian or were getting it somewhere else😢. I'm glad that you left her we all love you, respect, care about you. Love you from MN

  • @Chuckruu
    @Chuckruu Місяць тому

    You did not heal from your home trauma before you got into a relationship. You also were and are confused about doing everything accept penetrative sex and think it is not sex. You need to know you before someone gets to know you.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      @@Chuckruu *except And no I'm not. How does one heal from trauma they don't know that they have? I don't know why people keep talking to a version of myself from 10 years ago and expect me to not have made any changes, when I have over a hundred videos talking about the changes I've made and why I made them. So many people so quick to judge and so comfortable being incredibly wrong.

  • @LLL417
    @LLL417 Місяць тому

    Marriage is the end of happiness for a man. There really is no benefit.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      A stable home for raising children. That's the main reason for it.

  • @seattlejayde
    @seattlejayde Місяць тому

    Great video, thanks for posting

  • @AL-pu7ux
    @AL-pu7ux Місяць тому

    It’s crazy to me the withholders won’t make a single video to explain what their deal is

  • @SandraIsMyName_1253
    @SandraIsMyName_1253 Місяць тому

    I totally get where you’re coming from. Had almost 4 years of no intimacy at all with the one I had kids with. The youngest was 3 when I finally was able to move. I was hallow for sure. I physically felt the empty space within me. One that hasn’t experienced healthy love doesn’t know what is possible. I’m so grateful I know now and I wound say that most that think they’ve experience pure healthy love hasn’t. But it’s easy to see it when you had non before.

  • @hoosiermama3001
    @hoosiermama3001 2 місяці тому

    All I hear is I gave her material things, she owes me. Nothing about what was going on with her mentally or physically. There were obviously some sort of issues with her that throwing gifts, trips, and backrubs wasn't going to fix

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself 2 місяці тому

      @@hoosiermama3001 cool. How do you usually tell what's going on with someone who refuses to tell you? I'm glad we have the expert on this present in the comment section.

    • @hoosiermama3001
      @hoosiermama3001 Місяць тому

      @busybecomingmyself hmmm, from your response, I have no idea why she wouldn't want to be with a thin skinned, sarcastic man-child

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      I gave the correct amount of respect should I have for people who don't listen to what I said and then try to poke holes based on their intentional misunderstanding.

    • @hoosiermama3001
      @hoosiermama3001 Місяць тому

      @busybecomingmyself Problem #4356794: you can never be wrong

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      It's apparently very common on channels like mine where most of the videos talk about mistakes they've made personally

  • @dawnmiller6899
    @dawnmiller6899 2 місяці тому

    Holy smokes who would NOT want to have sex with you. Do you have any idea how handsome you Re?

  • @danielkristianson208
    @danielkristianson208 2 місяці тому

    So sorry to hear you were so abused and manipulated in this first marriage. You were used big time ...

  • @q8ilove849
    @q8ilove849 2 місяці тому

    If you're gay, I wanna be with you 😂 You're gorgeous and emotionally intelligent. You're caring too, dream husband I would say. She's an unappreciative b*@ch, I can't help but think that. I commend you for getting where you are, and congratulate you for regaining your freedom from that toxic marriage. I send you lots of love and good wishes, and I mean it!

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself 2 місяці тому

      No I'm straight. But thank you. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman who genuinely loves me.

    • @q8ilove849
      @q8ilove849 Місяць тому

      @busybecomingmyself I'm happy for you really. What matters is that you've learned. You live and learn! I could relate to a lot of what you said because I came from a similar background. There's a lot to be grateful for 🤍

  • @Minna5265
    @Minna5265 2 місяці тому

    We have a word for this in Norway: to be dumb-kind

  • @claudiaf.2236
    @claudiaf.2236 2 місяці тому

    I am so sad you had such bad experiences. I am married now for 25 years with 3 kids and I believe in the sacretness of marriage. But I did not pick my husband all by myself, I prayed for the right one. I made a wish list and prayed, until God made me realize that i already knew him for years. I just was not ready and he maybe was not ready either. We married after one year and are still together.

  • @bjft12
    @bjft12 2 місяці тому

    Time waits for no one. Get on with living and love yourself first.

  • @mrmagoo194
    @mrmagoo194 2 місяці тому

    Sir, I am a male, but you are beautiful to look at. You have come through a lot. I wish you the best.

  • @ZmudaBart
    @ZmudaBart 2 місяці тому

    Thanks mate !!

  • @brittania1974
    @brittania1974 2 місяці тому

    She didn't respect you because you are a simp, a beta male.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself Місяць тому

      Yes, that's why I've made so many videos against simping. For example: ua-cam.com/video/BkPAS-kA-Xk/v-deo.html

    • @brittania1974
      @brittania1974 Місяць тому

      @busybecomingmyself I hope your testicles have grown nice and big. Don't let them shrink ever again.

  • @siemprelibre6434
    @siemprelibre6434 2 місяці тому

    She is a stupid woman

  • @dianakoo785
    @dianakoo785 2 місяці тому

    I swear i am listening to him talk…and it is so raw and compelling…but maybe he should cover his face when he talks? …bc DAMN, he’s good-looking…*sigh* (me trying not to be shallow) lol

  • @Gebetino
    @Gebetino 2 місяці тому

    That was really good. It resonated a lot

  • @amorl4520
    @amorl4520 2 місяці тому

    I am a female version of him. This is the man I wish i met. Uggh