This episode is truly life changing. I think that if parents were presented with this information when they had kids, the difference they made in their children's lives and even their own would be monumental. I've recently realized that not booking my wins was a huge problem. I was raised in humility, pulling yourself up by your boot straps, etc. Humility is good, but it can also sabotage you. I've begun to learn how to book my wins and take them in within the past couple years and the difference it has made is astounding. Would absolutely love more episodes like these! Thank you both for everything you do. Making the world a better place one episode at a time!
I am like Forrest. I did not expect this episode to go where it went in the first 20 minutes. And, Rick's point about being enthralled really hit home for me. It was at the core of all my play as a child. When I built cities or played war with my friends, it was like the world changed. It took on a different feel. It's like it was subtly tainted with my imagination. I had walked through the looking glass. And when I played with friends it was like all of us had walked through the looking glass together. Since then, I have been looking for this sensation of being enthralled all my life. Doing photography, reading about ideas that blow my mind, reading novels, watching movies, or simply wandering around in a city. Even when I teach I think my ultimate goal is to enthrall. All my closest friends are people who could walk through the looking glass with me, or take me through it with them. And of course playing war where I had to hide not to get shot (a little aggression is fun!) and to take others by surprise and shoot them was thrilling. I'm sure that having autonomy, and competence were important to bring this state of enthrallment about. But they weren't what I experienced. I experienced enthrallment. And I'd say that when I was enthralled, especially as a child, it felt like I disappeared. I was not self-conscious at all. I was just the experience. And this still happens to me when I am doing photography, walking through a museum, or reading a novel. I walk through the looking glass and disappear. And all of this is becomes especially exquisite when it can be shared.
While listening to this session, I was measuring carpet to fit into my van. (I’m currently van camping in Arizona.) All your points I was applying to what I was doing. Like Rick planning a bomb shelter as a kid to me creating my home in Northern California to me measuring carpet pieces to fit into my van. So many points: choosing a task that you’re well-suited to succeed in. I’m listening to this over again. “We are all here because someone loved us into being.” Mr. Rogers. Forrest, I prefer the long format, not divided into sections. This is a star episode.
I agree on the long format. This was an integrated, in depth , outward reaching conversation with lots of different handholds for people to grab onto with their minds, experiences and feelings.
So many long wintery runs during COVID lock downs were accompanied by your podcasts. They (and learning to run) helped to sustain me and teach me how to sustain myself. I listen regularly and care very much about the work you and your father bring to so many. But the real beauty of it all is the togetherness between you two, helping each other, listening to each other, and seeking to understand each other without edit or judgement. This is the true strength and lesson of your podcasts.
Thank You Forrest for sharing Your dad with me. I was raised by single mother. Now I'm 48 and thank to You and Your dad i feel a little how it is to talk with dad. You guys are precious gem for me. Love You both. Greetings from Poland ❤
I've listened to this three times, and will listen again. The insight about the three possible blocks (competence, agency, connection) helped me (after the second listening) to make a breakthrough in understanding - an aversive attitude to connection with humans is linked to feelings of hopelessness and resistance around creativity. So the answer is clear: when I'm writing, I should have my cats, horses and the wildlife and plants around me in mind as the audience. Or all the artworks and treasures in all the musuems in the world, or all the mountains and stars. Because I have no aversion in connecting with them!
At nearly 57, and after addiction, failed relationships and autoimmune diseases, I've come to see that my ego or maybe even my soul has spent all these years looking for my dad. We knew each other, but not in a loving way and not for long. Each time an emotionally unavailable man gets near me and I want to get his attention, my ability to create arises. That person becomes my muse, or better, my amusement. It's completely false creation. It's needful and self motivated. Without fail there has been that figure watching me and judging. Of course it always ends horribly or at least simply dries up. Now, I'm trying to discover how to ease my suffering and likely generational in my family,suffering souls. Without that I don't think any new building with survive or feel like ho.e. I do love the easy and gentle ways these conversations unfold and infor..
I absolutely loved this episode. I loved that it was longer. I usually listen to an episode in one day. However, this one took me 3 days at my own pace. Great episode. Great topic. Great insight from you both. Love you two like family. You have added much value to my life, personally. Thank you! 💜💜
What a beautiful talk. Love love love. The recap at the end is so useful. The mention at the very end about how people with high anxiety tend to generate loads of avoidance plans and very few approach plans stood out as a topic in itself that can be explored in its very own 1-2h talk/interview.
I loved it, Forrest! So useful, made so much sense, and just witnessing how you are with your Dad is hugely inspiring ❤️ I’m in a place with my daughter where I am realizing how differently we approach generativity and this helped me honor how she does things without my own improvement projects. Yes, more of this, bring it on! And happy new year to you and Elizabeth (who I also greatly enjoyed)!
Lovely conversation.. especially the part where conversation about looking at aggression as pursuit... And also looking at low moid etc as a system and the last part of hiw people who r anxious are goid at generating avoidance plans, and the opposite in generating approach plans.. very insightful. Thank you for your effort and dedication.
I love the points you made about school. I’m a retired teacher and while I observed the impacts you talked about, I didn’t have such a good conceptual framework for understanding them.
This was really insightful and helpful for me in my current challenges. I have various blocks with all three of those 3 needs and I believe you're very right about discomfort with aggression being a major point of potential stagnation. I'll even bring it back around and recognize my fear of it being generated by a fear of identifying with failure because my father trained that into me with aggression in deeply traumatizing ways. I'm working to overcome c-ptsd and have found your podcast well informed, insightful, and compassionate. thank you ❤
this episode rocks - motivation is such a messy subject in psych and you guys really contributed to the ideas around it out there and made it actionable. keep it up plz
This was such a great conversation. Very helpful to me so thank you. One thing that has helped me become more creatively generative is to turn my “why” into a “why not”. Personally i find that I can sometimes talk myself out of making something if I can’t predetermine its ultimate purpose or if I judge my work as not being meaningful or useful enough so I take the pressure off myself by answering my “why” with a “why not”. Most of the time this helps me to get going and I often find that the end product turns out great and its purpose becomes more evident to me as I work on it. Worst case scenario if a project doesn’t turn out as I hoped the kids get it for Christmas 😂. Anyways thanks again for your amazing insights. I took notes!!
I also find an attitude of "why not" very helpful! It puts me in touch with a playful, experimental spirit that seems to effortlessly release more enthusiasm and enjoyment. 🤩
This was the perfect podcast to begin my new "podcast self help" journey. I really enjoyed your interaction with your father and learned so much on many good points of what I need to hear to live a better me 😊 Thank You and I am now subscribed for good 👍
Really loved this episode! Especially the stuff about predatory pursuit & this positive aggression. Being well is really my new favourite self-help podcast ❤
I loved the ambiguity of this topic! As I’m particularly interested in ways to motivate different subject learning at school. Plus how to work with adults, particularly Elders,to reprogram their potential many learning challenges. Thanks!
This was an amazing episode! I’ve always been a creative person and drew a lot of enjoyment from it. But I seem to have stopped caring - which is key - after losing the three key people in my life. How do I start caring again?
Generative you? During my masters classes, we were often assigned work to generate questions on the subject at hand. After a couple of these assignments I went to one of the professors and asked why was this so difficult, more so than all my other studies. His answer was that he had been generating questions for 25 years and it never got any easier. Forrest, you generate questions like a natural flow. I've always wondered if this is really as easy for you as it appears. There can be nothing more generative than a spot-on question.
Is there a reason you felt the need to try to fit the term "aggressive" into the conversation and then go back and forth with it rather than using the term "assertive"?
This episode is truly life changing. I think that if parents were presented with this information when they had kids, the difference they made in their children's lives and even their own would be monumental. I've recently realized that not booking my wins was a huge problem. I was raised in humility, pulling yourself up by your boot straps, etc. Humility is good, but it can also sabotage you. I've begun to learn how to book my wins and take them in within the past couple years and the difference it has made is astounding. Would absolutely love more episodes like these! Thank you both for everything you do. Making the world a better place one episode at a time!
I am like Forrest. I did not expect this episode to go where it went in the first 20 minutes. And, Rick's point about being enthralled really hit home for me. It was at the core of all my play as a child. When I built cities or played war with my friends, it was like the world changed. It took on a different feel. It's like it was subtly tainted with my imagination. I had walked through the looking glass. And when I played with friends it was like all of us had walked through the looking glass together. Since then, I have been looking for this sensation of being enthralled all my life. Doing photography, reading about ideas that blow my mind, reading novels, watching movies, or simply wandering around in a city. Even when I teach I think my ultimate goal is to enthrall. All my closest friends are people who could walk through the looking glass with me, or take me through it with them. And of course playing war where I had to hide not to get shot (a little aggression is fun!) and to take others by surprise and shoot them was thrilling. I'm sure that having autonomy, and competence were important to bring this state of enthrallment about. But they weren't what I experienced. I experienced enthrallment. And I'd say that when I was enthralled, especially as a child, it felt like I disappeared. I was not self-conscious at all. I was just the experience. And this still happens to me when I am doing photography, walking through a museum, or reading a novel. I walk through the looking glass and disappear. And all of this is becomes especially exquisite when it can be shared.
Well said, So rare to find people to share the experience though...
While listening to this session, I was measuring carpet to fit into my van. (I’m currently van camping in Arizona.) All your points I was applying to what I was doing. Like Rick planning a bomb shelter as a kid to me creating my home in Northern California to me measuring carpet pieces to fit into my van. So many points: choosing a task that you’re well-suited to succeed in. I’m listening to this over again. “We are all here because someone loved us into being.” Mr. Rogers. Forrest, I prefer the long format, not divided into sections. This is a star episode.
I agree on the long format. This was an integrated, in depth , outward reaching conversation with lots of different handholds for people to grab onto with their minds, experiences and feelings.
So many long wintery runs during COVID lock downs were accompanied by your podcasts. They (and learning to run) helped to sustain me and teach me how to sustain myself. I listen regularly and care very much about the work you and your father bring to so many. But the real beauty of it all is the togetherness between you two, helping each other, listening to each other, and seeking to understand each other without edit or judgement. This is the true strength and lesson of your podcasts.
Forest’s smile when his dad expresses his pride in him is so sweet. Beautiful smiles you both have
Thank You Forrest for sharing Your dad with me. I was raised by single mother. Now I'm 48 and thank to You and Your dad i feel a little how it is to talk with dad. You guys are precious gem for me. Love You both. Greetings from Poland ❤
I've listened to this three times, and will listen again. The insight about the three possible blocks (competence, agency, connection) helped me (after the second listening) to make a breakthrough in understanding - an aversive attitude to connection with humans is linked to feelings of hopelessness and resistance around creativity. So the answer is clear: when I'm writing, I should have my cats, horses and the wildlife and plants around me in mind as the audience. Or all the artworks and treasures in all the musuems in the world, or all the mountains and stars. Because I have no aversion in connecting with them!
At nearly 57, and after addiction, failed relationships and autoimmune diseases, I've come to see that my ego or maybe even my soul has spent all these years looking for my dad.
We knew each other, but not in a loving way and not for long.
Each time an emotionally unavailable man gets near me and I want to get his attention, my ability to create arises.
That person becomes my muse, or better, my amusement.
It's completely false creation.
It's needful and self motivated.
Without fail there has been that figure watching me and judging.
Of course it always ends horribly or at least simply dries up.
Now, I'm trying to discover how to ease my suffering and likely generational in my family,suffering souls.
Without that I don't think any new building with survive or feel like ho.e.
I do love the easy and gentle ways these conversations unfold and infor..
I’m with Rick…his curry shiitake mushroom omelette sounds delicious. Great interview. thank you both. ❤️
😂
I absolutely loved this episode. I loved that it was longer. I usually listen to an episode in one day. However, this one took me 3 days at my own pace. Great episode. Great topic. Great insight from you both. Love you two like family. You have added much value to my life, personally.
Thank you! 💜💜
Thank you for another wonderful episode. 👏👍❤️
What a beautiful talk. Love love love. The recap at the end is so useful. The mention at the very end about how people with high anxiety tend to generate loads of avoidance plans and very few approach plans stood out as a topic in itself that can be explored in its very own 1-2h talk/interview.
Competence Autonomy Relatedness = CAR = what you need for your DRIVE
Love this!
☺
I loved it, Forrest! So useful, made so much sense, and just witnessing how you are with your Dad is hugely inspiring ❤️ I’m in a place with my daughter where I am realizing how differently we approach generativity and this helped me honor how she does things without my own improvement projects. Yes, more of this, bring it on! And happy new year to you and Elizabeth (who I also greatly enjoyed)!
The link between three needs from SDT and a sense of stagnation is a profound insight.
Lovely conversation.. especially the part where conversation about looking at aggression as pursuit... And also looking at low moid etc as a system and the last part of hiw people who r anxious are goid at generating avoidance plans, and the opposite in generating approach plans.. very insightful. Thank you for your effort and dedication.
Valuable so much that this my second listen.
Thanks Guys.
I love the points you made about school. I’m a retired teacher and while I observed the impacts you talked about, I didn’t have such a good conceptual framework for understanding them.
This was really insightful and helpful for me in my current challenges. I have various blocks with all three of those 3 needs and I believe you're very right about discomfort with aggression being a major point of potential stagnation. I'll even bring it back around and recognize my fear of it being generated by a fear of identifying with failure because my father trained that into me with aggression in deeply traumatizing ways. I'm working to overcome c-ptsd and have found your podcast well informed, insightful, and compassionate. thank you ❤
this episode rocks - motivation is such a messy subject in psych and you guys really contributed to the ideas around it out there and made it actionable. keep it up plz
thank you for the interview. . it touched on a lot of points related to creativity, and how complex and integrated emotions vs motivation are
Awesome!!! Thank you so much!
This was such a great conversation. Very helpful to me so thank you. One thing that has helped me become more creatively generative is to turn my “why” into a “why not”. Personally i find that I can sometimes talk myself out of making something if I can’t predetermine its ultimate purpose or if I judge my work as not being meaningful or useful enough so I take the pressure off myself by answering my “why” with a “why not”. Most of the time this helps me to get going and I often find that the end product turns out great and its purpose becomes more evident to me as I work on it. Worst case scenario if a project doesn’t turn out as I hoped the kids get it for Christmas 😂. Anyways thanks again for your amazing insights. I took notes!!
I also find an attitude of "why not" very helpful! It puts me in touch with a playful, experimental spirit that seems to effortlessly release more enthusiasm and enjoyment. 🤩
This is really good, and all of this whole set of systems has been totally broken down for me. Trying to rebuild it, and it’s rough.
This was the perfect podcast to begin my new "podcast self help" journey. I really enjoyed your interaction with your father and learned so much on many good points of what I need to hear to live a better me 😊
Thank You and I am now subscribed for good 👍
Welcome!
Really loved this episode! Especially the stuff about predatory pursuit & this positive aggression. Being well is really my new favourite self-help podcast ❤
I loved the ambiguity of this topic! As I’m particularly interested in ways to motivate different subject learning at school. Plus how to work with adults, particularly Elders,to reprogram their potential many learning challenges. Thanks!
Miraculos!🏆
Loved this!
Thanks Forest!
This was an amazing episode! I’ve always been a creative person and drew a lot of enjoyment from it. But I seem to have stopped caring - which is key - after losing the three key people in my life. How do I start caring again?
Thanks for this. I needed this today
Amazing
🙏
Generative you? During my masters classes, we were often assigned work to generate questions on the subject at hand. After a couple of these assignments I went to one of the professors and asked why was this so difficult, more so than all my other studies. His answer was that he had been generating questions for 25 years and it never got any easier.
Forrest, you generate questions like a natural flow. I've always wondered if this is really as easy for you as it appears. There can be nothing more generative than a spot-on question.
❤❤❤
I also love a little curry in my egg-based concoctions 😉
Is there a reason you felt the need to try to fit the term "aggressive" into the conversation and then go back and forth with it rather than using the term "assertive"?
thanks
Curry DOES belong in an omelette! Rick is correct!