5 Reasons I Love Being a Foster Parent
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- Опубліковано 7 тра 2015
- You hear a lot of bad stuff when it comes to foster care, and there's a good reason for that: foster care exists because of brokenness and loss.
But for those of us involved, we know that there can be beauty from the ashes. Today I wanted to share some of the positives-some of the reasons that I love being a foster mom.
How about you? What do you love about being a foster parent? - Навчання та стиль
"The Joy of Knowing You Are Making A Difference." It is not selfish to be joyful. It is not selfish to expect some upside from doing something charitable. There are people who will only behave in self-serving ways. Those are the people who label others as selfish or self-serving when they cannot imagine that we would do something, not because it is the best thing for us, but because it is the right thing to do.
My husband and I are just getting our license again, as we did this years ago when our children were still at home with us. I'm excited to have a child in our home again but a bit nervous about our ages. We will definitely be more like Grandparents as we are now 73 and I'm 72. I know that probably seems way to old to Foster but we have many years of experience and time to spend with these little ones that need the love and affection and teaching we can give them. I suppose I'm fantasizing a bit but selfishly I want to take walks play at the park, take our kiddo camping and fishing, to swimming lessons. Read night time story books before bed every night. Dress us and go to church on Sundays. If that sounds selfish or self serving bring it on I'm excited to give it a try again. Thanks for your sweet words of love and hope as you deal with these little people that are having a difficult start in life and need extra love..
Some of the best foster parents are "seasoned" foster parents. I think they will keep you young. And how wonderful for them to have someone who will treasure them and savor every chance to be with them. I say go for it!
How beautifully said. Thanks for sharing all those things I enjoy as a foster parent as well😊
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I have beautiful because I did foster care years ago and adopted two children that are 26 and 23 stopped foster care raised my grandkids for 10 years they are now grown.In March 2020 and got my foster license again I have had 5 foster placements so far I am like you I wish I had a bigger house and vehicle so I could take more kids in. Give home to children brings joy. They are all blessing.Not that there is never any bad times .For the most part the kids make my day and make me happy.And I laugh a lot with them.
You're my role model! Thank you for telling me about your journey!
Thanks. I enjoyed your video. In my 10 years fostering, I have always enjoyed helping the children catch up on skills they have missed out on learning. Skills they need to have to not seem different to other children.
One of the aspects I enjoy is seeing the children feel capable and important by increasing their self-care skills ( dressing, eating, washing etc ) and having a simple household chore they are responsible for.
Regards
Judy
au.linkedin.com/in/judygleeson
Judy Gleeson ABSOLUTELY and YES!!! This is HUGE. Thanks for sharing from your experience.
My husband and I are going to our 1st Forster Care information meeting 2/8/2017, this just made my night., we can't wait !!!! we Just got our 1st new home two empty bedrooms and just want to fill it up with love.... love your videos!
How wonderful! I wish you all the best!!
i'm 20 and i hope to be a fosterparent one day in the future. I was 17 when my aunt has taken care of me and was my "foster" mother. She has also two other fosterchildren and they're so amazing! My aunt inspired me so much.
I have an idea. about $1000 is spent on children in foster care by the state. It cost $10 to buy a cheap cell phone. Before going into foster care, a cast worker gives a $10 phone to each kid with no minutes. Instead of the case working going to visit every kid, the case worker just randomly calls the phone during school hours and ask if they are ok (case worker will also tell the kid to give the phone to a teacher or guidance concealer for further verification). If a case worker ever calls a phone and nobody answers, that should be a red flag for that case worker to go out and visit that kid.
dinewalton that's all dandy apart from some kids just don't want to talk on the phone. They also need to check on their living environment at home.
Thank you, this message means a lot! I am one of those people where it’s been “nibbling at me” and it’s been for about a year and a half now. I’m not going to lie, and I’ll be as transparent as I can be...”I’M scared as heck!!!” ... but I’m at a point in my life where if I can do it, now would be the most perfect time to look into it. Your passion shows, and I hope that mine will show as well, my first class starts in June!
This is awesome that I found this channel, my wife and I just became foster parents.
Wonderful!
Hi Christy! I am a new subscriber and I want to thank you so much for sharing these videos! My husband and I are in the process of getting licensed and while there is some content out there, I am loving your videos. You mentioned your favorite thing about being a Foster Parent-- I love seeing this too, even though I am not one yet. I work in pediatric therapy and some of my clients are foster children. I have one client now that her and her siblings have blossomed and transformed before our eyes-- because they have the consistency and love on a regular basis. This part of it drives me on our path toward being licensed.
+Pita FamilyHome Thank you for your kind words! Sounds like you're doing great work already. Best wishes on your path toward foster parenting!
I'm only 17, but I hope one day I can be a foster parent. I want to help in any way I can!
Thank you for posting this wonderful video! We are in the stage of training in order to be certified as Foster parents. I really needed to hear these things because I haven't had the best support within my support system. I am nervous and scared but its what God has call us to do so we are obeying!
The longer you are in this, the more you'll connect with people who will cheer you on and be sources of encouragement. If you're anywhere near Chicago or Seattle, I *highly* recommend attending the Refresh Conference (happening in both cities). www.occ.org/refresh/
Thank you! We are in Wyoming. But might need to make a trip out to Seattle!
I'm glad you made this video. It was really inspiring to those people families that want kids and stuff like that. And so I love little kids they are so adorable, cute, and amazing.😞😟 thank you So much for making this video.
Loving these videos. Very moving. Thank you for sharing this information!
Reflective Piece Thank you for watching and taking the time to encourage me with a comment!
+A Fostered Life Oh my word, here I sit at 46 years old, a single mum in the UK and having pondered the idea of fostering children , I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to your stories! My own children are almost 16 and 18 now and my mind is far from made up as I have so many questions unanswered, but at this very early stage, I think you should know that your video posts are valuable to not only to many others in the USA but across the water too and I just wanted to thank you for spending the time to share with others your experiences!! Regardless of my future choices, you should feel very proud of your input in this short life we lead and if I were YOUR parent, I would feel immensely proud of your life choices!! x
Wow, thank you so much, Abigail! That's very kind!!!
Thank you for sharing. My wife and I have been considering this and just see so many kids who need a better situation. I looks joyful and heart-wrenching at the same time.
That's pretty much a perfect summary of the foster parent experience. I think you're ready :)
Very helpful and inspiring! I just found you today and am really enjoying your videos. I am a single foster parent, and have been fostering for 3 1/2 years and have had seven children, plus I have two adult bio children. I have two now, a two year old and a fifteen year old. It's been amazing and your five favorite things are my same five favorite things. I couldn't have said it better myself. Best wishes to you!!!
Julie Basinger thank you so much, Julie! And well done, you, for being a single foster parent. I wish more single adults would follow your footsteps!
My husband and I are starting the road to being foster parents and I love your videos. Thanks for putting them together.
I really want to be a foster mother, but we don't have a house
+Bonêca Tejera You can live in an apartment and still be a foster parent. It doesn't have to be a house! Check with your local licensing office and see what the bedroom requirements are. You never know!
My husband and I have talked about fostering for awhile and now we are starting to get serious about doing it. I have subscribed and am going through all of your videos. Thank you for this information, it makes me less nervous and more excited about it :)
+AK Saunders You should be a little bit nervous and a lot excited :) So glad you're jumping in. God bless your journey :)
Im 17 and have been through foster care and my foster mother did the best she could and since im going to graduate soon, ive been thinking lately to become one. Ive had art as an option, and many others, but the thought of being a foster parent makes me happy on the inside because I can help kids like I was helped. Growing up with other foster kids, ive learned how many stories are be brought and the struggles they and myself have had. I feel I can communicate with them and help their transition that much easier. Is there any advise anyone can give that would help for the years to come?
I think your background would make you uniquely suited to be a wonderful foster parent. Thank you for letting me know. As far as advice... I don't know if this is the best, but I often tell my son there are two types of people in the world: those who make it better and those who make it worse. Choose to be someone who leaves the world better than you found it. That can happen in so many ways, from picking up garbage someone else threw on the ground to making someone's day a bit brighter by being kind and polite, to changing someone's future by dedicating yourself to helping them flourish. Best wishes to you! I hope you pursue foster parenting in the future.
Hi christmas. I just wanted to tell you how helpful and insightful you have been. Myself and my husband have been talking for a while now as I have always felt the calling to become a foster parent where as he is very level headed and wants all facts laying out first (rightly so it is a huge responsibility) my day job gives me a lot of insight to a number of potential issues you have raised and we feel with my given experience and the help of your videos that we are confident enough to take on the journey here in the uk! We are booked to go speak with some fostering agency's in the next couple of weeks to begin our life journey on this wonderful cause and what I would like to say is a huge thank you as you have answered a lot of questions we needed to know but also helped to to think of more questions we hadn't even thought of that we can ask the agency's soon. Thank you again and keep up the good work
Leanne xx
I just saw the auto correct!! Sorry christy xx
Leanne McLachlan Thank you SO MUCH Leanne! Please keep me posted on your progress and journey!
Leanne McLachlan HAHA :)
I am thinking about becoming a foster parent...This video helped me make up my mind thank you
Thank You for the video. Me and my wife are thinking of being Foster Parents.
Thank you for sharing! Hopefully by next week our license will be completed here in a small part of Alaska and that's how I stumbled onto your channel. It has been very informative! My husband and I are looking to care for 0-5 and I've had one question that I really haven't had answered. What do your little ones like toddler age call you? Mom and dad or do you correct them to say something else? Thank you so much!!
You know, that is a really good question. I have heard lots of different things. In our case, from the day our first 5 year old foster son walked in the door, he called us Mommy and Daddy, so he decided that right off the bat. If they or their bio parents are uncomfortable with that, you might use "Mama Susan" or "Daddy Mike" or something. Or, if they call their mom "Mommy," you could be "Mama" or "Ma" or whatever. We had an 11-year-old who just called us by our first names, which was totally fine. For the little ones, I would gauge how long they will be with you. If they are infants when you get them and then you're the one to start teaching them to talk, but they are still seeing their mom for visits, etc. then teach them to call her Mommy and call you Mama ____. But in a case where a parent is totally out of the picture that the child is in your care long term, I would teach them to call you Mommy. But perhaps others have different opinions? I welcome others to share their thoughts here! Great question!
I’ve been thinking about this one for a while too. That maybe the kids want to call you mom because they want to feel like they belong to a family and just feel normal, like any other kid. I guess it would be very important to discuss it with the family and check with the kid what does it means to them when they decide to call you mom. It might be something different. In my case, I’m not sure I would feel comfortable. I want them to think of me like part of their family but not want to take that special place of a “mom” unless I actually become theirs :(
I don’t know. It’s a very hard question, really :(
I always thought that Forster care or family's is not fun your there for punishment or for what your parents did to you.
This video is wonderful!! I am a foster mom and appreciate your honesty and joy in the life of a foster parent. I can testify as well that the children are truly a blessing. Keep up the good work with making video's.
Thank you Lindsay!
I do not want to speak out of turn or be insensitive but I would really like to know as I have felt burdened for foster parenting for many years. How do you prepare yourself emotionally for the reunification process and how do you deal with it when it happens.
+emdsmith That's a really good question! Each person's experience is different. I have known foster parents who felt a wide range of emotions when their children were reunified, from grief to relief. So many factors affect your reaction, from how long the child(ren) have been with you to what your hope was from the start (were you hoping to adopt? Were you hoping they would be reunified?) I have a friend who has no intention of adopting her foster kids. She is single and feels that, if they can't be reunified, they should be adopted by a two-parent family. Others go into foster parenting hoping to adopt eventually, so they struggle when their kids are returned. Also, how is the birth parent doing? If the child goes home to a questionable situation, that's very hard. But if the child goes home to a parent who has worked hard to change their situation, there can be shared joy all around. Ideally, for the child's sake, you would be allowed to stay in touch. We had one boy come and go, and his mom let him call us the night he was returned to her. That was awesome. She seemed to recognize that we were not a threat to her and we were for her, and that her son had grown to love us as well. I think that's ideal. (PS, you play a big role in how comfortable the birth parents feel about you. If you are intentional about expressing support for them, they will trust you more. I had written her a note and sent it home with him when he was reunified, telling her how much we enjoyed having her son, how well-behaved he was, and how proud she must be of him. I also told her we were pulling for her and praying for her. That *had* to be part of why she let him call us that night!) So my advice is stay prayerful and open to what the future holds. Try to surrender the outcome to God. Will it be hard? Probably so, yes. When our first two kids had been with us for over a year, and we had started moving toward adoption, we had a brief period where it appeared that we might start reunification, and that was excruciating. But when you go into this, it is vital that you know it is a very big possibility. A big part of how I deal with sending them back is trusting that, while they were with us, they felt loved and cared for and were able to relax a bit, and that whatever amount of time that might have been, they have known what stability looked and felt like, and that will be a gift to them down the road. I pray you will continue to explore this possibility, and if you feel led to do it, that your efforts will be blessed. Grace to you!
You are absolutely lovely
+Kacey Hart You are so kind! Thank you, Kacey!
Hey I am thinking about doing foster care please give me advise and tips about foster care I need to move from my mom house nto a big house please help me about what house to go to and I need help want to do when I get my house I want 13 bedrooms I want 6 kids on my own because I come from a big family so I want my own big family I want to be a good mom please give me tips and advice
I really want to become a foster parent and feel like God is calling me to do it. Unfortunately, my husband is not too fond of the idea. I want to change his mind because I have such a strong desire to foster but I'm just sad that it may not be possible.
+Corinne MommyOfTwo Corinne, thanks for sharing this. I have written in other places that I really do feel it's important for both spouses to be 100% "in" for it to work, so you're wise to wait or not do it at all if your husband doesn't share your commitment. That said, there are some ways you can be involved without becoming a foster parent! You might find this list helpful: tamlynn75random.blogspot.com/2013/08/foster-care-bucket-list.html?m=1 Blessings! And thank you for caring about foster care!!
A Fostered Life loved this list! I am also wanting to foster (have wanted to since I was a teen myself) and now that I’m older and able to my bf isn’t really for it. I think it’s more about not wanting to uproot his life with the responsibility. But, I’m sure he’ll enjoy it once he does do it. So, I’m also in the process of working things out so that we can foster. Thanks so much for all your videos and responses to comments 😁
my husband and I are considering becoming foster parents, but I'm afraid of getting too attached because when I invest a lot in a person i tend to get very attached! how do you deal with letting go of a child who you've grown to love when it's time for them to go home? especially if you aren't convinced that they're going back to an ideal situation?
That is very hard, for sure. But the way I have come to deal with it is to recognize that if we aren't willing to put our own hearts out there and risk some pain, who will care for these children who are going through such a hard time? It's not their fault, but they do need a safe and loving place to be while the state and their parents work things out. And they need you to become attached to them (and vice versa!) Studies show that children do better when they have experienced attachment and loss than when they never experience attachment at all. I hope you will pursue foster parenting. Kids in foster care need folks just like you, who will love them well and miss them when they are gone. Blessings!!
A Fostered Life wow, thank you so much for the quick response. it's exactly what I needed to hear. I have a lot of love to give but no one around me wants it so it only makes sense to offer it to the people who need it the most. i feel more drawn to children born of others than I ever have liked the idea of birthing my own - even my nieces accidentally call me mommy sometimes lol! and I treat them like my own. I've been binge watching your videos and they're so, so informative. I appreciate what you've created here. thank you for what you do for your children, and thank you for your heartfelt encouragement. you'll hear from me again as I come up with more questions 😊
AssaultedPeanutt I just read this today after writing you back! FYI: www.ransomforisrael.com/foster-care-will-wreck-you/ ❤️🙏🏻
A Fostered Life wowwww, what a tear-jerker 😭😭😭 she really makes you feel everything she has felt. I love that she didn't sugar coat any of it. I now better understand what to expect. thank you!
oh no I feel the same way ... I am a foster parent because I am selfish :) they change your life.
I was curious since you're a Christian, are you allowed to take your foster kids to worship at church?
+Nicole Slade Absolutely! In fact, our church community has been a place of tremendous healing for our older foster kids. Whether they're with us for one week or years, they have been warmly welcomed and shown a lot of love. It's been a beautiful thing, and our kids LOVE going to church. That said, the placement folks probably would not place any children with us who are from another faith where their birth parents would be offended by them going to a Christian church. And if we were to foster a child from another faith, we would do what we could (within reason) to make sure they were able to practice their religion. In fact, that's part of licensing-demonstrating that you would accommodate children from other religions if that was requested by the family.
Thanks. I forgot about placement. That's awesome.
Nicole Slade you can take them if they are open to it but you can't force them to go
Slimzie Maygen some CAN be but not all are. Continuing to spread this message, pushing it on people isn't going to help, but in fact make people scared of the Foster system.
Thats just like saying "Women can't drive" yeah some can, and some can't.
I have a small dog, and I was told foster parents can not have pets, is this true
+Rozlyn Walls No! Not true! We had a dog and a cat when we became foster parents. You will need to show that they are up to date on their shots and the licensor will want to know what they're like around kids. It will be your responsibility to make sure the kids are safe, so if your dog shows aggression toward kids, you'll need to keep them separate. But no, I know many foster families with pets. They can be a wonderful part of offering the kids a sense of love, safety, and company. Ours did! Thanks for asking!
Why is your background horrific blood spatters!!???
This was a large painting made by a child we knew. She was learning about Jackson Pollock. I think it's lovely. One person's blood splatter is another person's way to encourage a child who is a budding artist and honor her efforts. 🤷🏻♀️