I was in foster care when I was younger and it was not a good expensive I was told that I won't be able to take care of myself because I have a disability. Looking back yeah I can say that I wasn't shouting Love by my own parents or my foster parents. my husband and I are thinking about doing foster care.
Excellent advice! And I'd add one more: be open to a flexible definition of "family". The child's history is not the same as yours. Honor their history and their connections as appropriate to the situation and safety. Don't dismiss their pain or try to sugarcoat it. Some kids have gaps in their understanding of how/why they ended up in FC. Be honest and affirming; help them make sense of their own life story. They will take cues from adults' version/interpretation of events.
I just found your channel!! Loved this video.. time to binge all your videos lol. We’ve had 6 foster littles so far and I adored them all so much, praying and waiting for our next placements now. Hoping somebody some end up in adoption. The wait is so hard... knowing our children (fostered and adopted) have to experience trauma and loss to get to us. Just let me snuggle them and bake them muffins and read to them NOW.
The wisdom! Realizing that the comfort corner being separate from you wasn’t working and why is wonderful information and I’m so glad you shared it with us. Thank you
So my husband and I just took our first P.R.I.D.E. class yesterday and I happend to see your videos today. They are great and very informative. I actually got a little teary eyed when you told the story about New Year's Eve and pulling over to a Starbucks. Thank you for posting these and I just subscribed so I look forward to future videos. ;0) Kendall
Hi Kendall! I'm glad you found them helpful! By now you might be licensed and even an active foster parent (I'm behind on responding to comments!) I wish you all my best.
I bought the positive parenting solutions program over a year ago...had the workbook printed out at the office depot all fancy like, and have failed to actually go through it... You've encouraged me to go through it already...ha!
I think they call that "Shelf-esteem"...I have so many books on the shelf, and the whole osmosis route of gaining the knowledge isn't working out...ha!
Thank you for your information and your honesty. Really thank you for being a great life-line into this world. I've considered Fostering for a few years and I was really impressed with some of your videos I watched a few years ago. We're currently a military family stationed overseas and fostering is not available to us. This video is great because I can move ahead with these tips and prepare myself better for fostering in the future.
Thanks for sharing! We're getting licensed and are working on these 3 things. Can you do a video of your calnibg corner with more details of how you set it up and how you use it with your kids?
I second this! I've been wanting to set one up, but I would love to hear from someone who has experience with Trauma Informed Parenting how they tweak it for foster kids
Is the punishment for not cleaning taking away their stuff really a good idea? I am just questioning this becouse yeah consequences are great but if those are foster kids then it measn they don't really have a lot do they? Hell often they don't even have one home, so taking away things from kids who have had so much taken awy from them sounds questionable.
Hi! I'm 16 and my family is possibly fostering and hopefully adopting a distant relatives 7 year old son and I wanna make sure than the transition is as easy as possible for him and be a good foster sister? Any tips on the first stages of fostering?
How wonderful! I'm a bit late to respond-so sorry about that! But I would say the best thing you can do is play with him! Board games, hide and seek, playground... play is the best way to connect. And read to him too!
Hmm I disagree on the "natural consequences" point. This is not natural. It is still a threat and a punishment. But you can do it that way. I just think there's a better way to do it.
I disagree that "natural consequences" is not natural. Life is almost all about natural consequences. If you don't put gas in the car, you run out of gas. If you are late for work too many times, you lose your job. If you stay up too late at night, you're tired the next day. If you eat poorly, your health suffers. The list goes on. That said, I'd love to hear your perspective on how to handle things.
As in every other field, there are good and bad foster parents. My hope is to encourage and support those who are committed to doing their best and putting the kids first.
You’re under confidentiality agreements. As a childcare worker I can tell you that seeing aggressive sexual behavior come from a kindergartner feels “shocking” and like something that shouldn’t be broadcasted for the well-being of children. It’s something you work on with them privately and safely with an educated and nurturing team to unwrap obvious traumas.
I think it’s hard when you are used to something to explain it to someone who’s not. My sister just adopted her foster kid after 6 years and when she was 3-6, she had some relatively extreme emotional issues due to her life experiences. As someone who has a psych degree, that isn’t surprising, but for people who don’t have much experience with kids and that sort of thing, having a child go from 0 to 60 in a moment may be shocking. Having a happy kid start sobbing the second they get into the car can be very surprising and confusing. Kids who have experienced traumatic events often wear their stress and emotions on their sleeve and it can be a lot when you’re not prepared
Super helpful- thank you so much ❤
I was in foster care when I was younger and it was not a good expensive I was told that I won't be able to take care of myself because I have a disability. Looking back yeah I can say that I wasn't shouting Love by my own parents or my foster parents. my husband and I are thinking about doing foster care.
Excellent advice!
And I'd add one more: be open to a flexible definition of "family". The child's history is not the same as yours. Honor their history and their connections as appropriate to the situation and safety. Don't dismiss their pain or try to sugarcoat it. Some kids have gaps in their understanding of how/why they ended up in FC. Be honest and affirming; help them make sense of their own life story. They will take cues from adults' version/interpretation of events.
This is so helpful as someone who is in the middle of being licensed.
I'm so glad!
I just found your channel!! Loved this video.. time to binge all your videos lol.
We’ve had 6 foster littles so far and I adored them all so much, praying and waiting for our next placements now. Hoping somebody some end up in adoption. The wait is so hard... knowing our children (fostered and adopted) have to experience trauma and loss to get to us. Just let me snuggle them and bake them muffins and read to them NOW.
I'm glad you find them helpful! I'm sure I could learn from you as well!
Very informative information. Thank you for your videos
Glad you like them!
The wisdom! Realizing that the comfort corner being separate from you wasn’t working and why is wonderful information and I’m so glad you shared it with us. Thank you
So my husband and I just took our first P.R.I.D.E. class yesterday and I happend to see your videos today. They are great and very informative. I actually got a little teary eyed when you told the story about New Year's Eve and pulling over to a Starbucks. Thank you for posting these and I just subscribed so I look forward to future videos. ;0)
Kendall
Hi Kendall! I'm glad you found them helpful! By now you might be licensed and even an active foster parent (I'm behind on responding to comments!) I wish you all my best.
I bought the positive parenting solutions program over a year ago...had the workbook printed out at the office depot all fancy like, and have failed to actually go through it... You've encouraged me to go through it already...ha!
Rebecca McNeill that’s how I am with some home organizing plans 😂 I feel so accomplished having bought the book... but my house is still a mess 😆
I think they call that "Shelf-esteem"...I have so many books on the shelf, and the whole osmosis route of gaining the knowledge isn't working out...ha!
Thank you for your information and your honesty. Really thank you for being a great life-line into this world. I've considered Fostering for a few years and I was really impressed with some of your videos I watched a few years ago. We're currently a military family stationed overseas and fostering is not available to us. This video is great because I can move ahead with these tips and prepare myself better for fostering in the future.
I'm glad you've found my videos helpful and hope you are doing well in your journey!
Thanks for sharing! We're getting licensed and are working on these 3 things. Can you do a video of your calnibg corner with more details of how you set it up and how you use it with your kids?
Chelsie Cotten I’d love to! Great idea!!
@@afosteredlife
Thank you!! :)
I second this! I've been wanting to set one up, but I would love to hear from someone who has experience with Trauma Informed Parenting how they tweak it for foster kids
I really appreciate this post!
Thank you so much, MamaE! I'm so glad.
Great information and I LOVE the "truth moment texts" added during the video :) Excited to try some things you suggest :)
Wow. I did not notice the texts.
Thank you :)
Pay attention to the voices. You are so on point with your advice.
I appreciate that!
Is the punishment for not cleaning taking away their stuff really a good idea? I am just questioning this becouse yeah consequences are great but if those are foster kids then it measn they don't really have a lot do they? Hell often they don't even have one home, so taking away things from kids who have had so much taken awy from them sounds questionable.
I feel strongly that giving away a child's possessions is not a natural consequence.
Thank you!
Hi! I'm 16 and my family is possibly fostering and hopefully adopting a distant relatives 7 year old son and I wanna make sure than the transition is as easy as possible for him and be a good foster sister? Any tips on the first stages of fostering?
How wonderful! I'm a bit late to respond-so sorry about that! But I would say the best thing you can do is play with him! Board games, hide and seek, playground... play is the best way to connect. And read to him too!
Thank you! Quite helpful. ❤
Have you been to conscious discipline? Sounds like it! Love CD!
Rhonda Mason have not done CD! But I am a huge fan of Positive Parenting Solutions! www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/amember/aff/go/christykrispin
Hmm I disagree on the "natural consequences" point. This is not natural. It is still a threat and a punishment. But you can do it that way. I just think there's a better way to do it.
I disagree that "natural consequences" is not natural. Life is almost all about natural consequences. If you don't put gas in the car, you run out of gas. If you are late for work too many times, you lose your job. If you stay up too late at night, you're tired the next day. If you eat poorly, your health suffers. The list goes on. That said, I'd love to hear your perspective on how to handle things.
From comments elsewhere, some people are far from ideal foster parents, maybe only better than the place the kids came from.
As in every other field, there are good and bad foster parents. My hope is to encourage and support those who are committed to doing their best and putting the kids first.
everyone always says "behaviors" "shocking" no one is ever specific on what these kids are doing and what is so shocking
You’re under confidentiality agreements. As a childcare worker I can tell you that seeing aggressive sexual behavior come from a kindergartner feels “shocking” and like something that shouldn’t be broadcasted for the well-being of children. It’s something you work on with them privately and safely with an educated and nurturing team to unwrap obvious traumas.
I think it’s hard when you are used to something to explain it to someone who’s not. My sister just adopted her foster kid after 6 years and when she was 3-6, she had some relatively extreme emotional issues due to her life experiences. As someone who has a psych degree, that isn’t surprising, but for people who don’t have much experience with kids and that sort of thing, having a child go from 0 to 60 in a moment may be shocking. Having a happy kid start sobbing the second they get into the car can be very surprising and confusing. Kids who have experienced traumatic events often wear their stress and emotions on their sleeve and it can be a lot when you’re not prepared
I tried so hard to make it through the rambling
Take 5 minutes JUST SAY IT