My first boyfriend and I listened to Esther Perel's audiobook Mating in Captivity together and reached mutual agreement that we weren't life partners. I kept listening and reading her work as I dated, until I met my now husband. I feel like I have had her as an influence during most of my relationships, and I am a much better friend, partner, and parent for it. Thank you so much!
Agreed. Esther repeats that mantra often in her talks. And I have just experienced it first hand. Had wonderful marriage to a woman for 37 years. She passed in 2017. I just escaped from a 5 year relationship with a female covert narc. Started just great !! Wow! New love and all of the excitement. But now I'm so relieved to be rid of her. The quality of my life was horrible. Tired of walking on egg shells. I've now found a new love who has a similar history with ex-husband. She and I share lots of stories of how miserable we were and how we stuck in out for far too long. I no longer walk on egg shells or letting go of my personal desires to service that horrible and pathological woman. Good riddance to her. It IS hard to let go, but when you do, you are so happy ! Repeating Ester's phrase is a constant in my head now. I repeat that to my dear sons of 25 and 26 years old. Esther is a beacon and she is of course Right !!
My friends & neighbors passed away. They had been married for 75 years! The husband was a WWII veteran. When asked about her marriage, B would always say half joking "I married once, and I'll never do it again" 😢😂 She was always singing songs & rhyming about it! ❤❤ Len & B ❤️❤️
Perhaps one of my favourite podcasts of all times ! What a pleasant experience being able to hear this. The podcast is worth putting on repeat, I have learned a lot !
The first time I learned there's a therapist, and frankly teacher of relationships named Esther Perel was through a conversation with Trevor Noah. Thanks to the quality of her work, I continue to listen, expand, share and grow. What an exchange, thank you for coming together again
This was a great episode! There were many thought provoking moments, to where I actually had to pause the episode to think about what was being said at the moment. So many great questions were asked in this episode. This conversation or therapy session was really enjoyable. Thank you both for such great content.
Such a great idea to have Esther talk us through what ''The beginning'' can look like. So refreshing, Ive followed Esther for years and have often wondered what it would feel like to ‘’sit’’ on her couch… this felt like exactly that… What a mind…
Me and my hubby are definitely on the ferris drinking a cup a tea and Lord that is the best answered prayer - I'm eternally grateful for that man and what we've been blessed with! He is my peace and I am his
Thank you Trevor for this episode. Can we please have Esther again because she spoke to my soul. I am in love with her knowledge and how engrossed you are in the conversation. Very informative and thought provoking episode💯
This episode shows me what I did well to get into a relationship that is now an 18 year Marriage... Almost step by step ..but i learnt a lot of incorrect things before I got it right ... And its been a great relationship with 3 kids. There is a WE & also an ME for each of us
What a beautiful conversation, it is filled with so many golden nuggets and relaxed truths so easy to hear and listen to, to find myself in it, thank you! I would expect I’m not the only one who would delight with more ?
Those where insightful questions Trevor, many times when I listen to her it's almost as if Ester has a book of life. And every time she speaks it feels like she's reading the individual chapter on wich I'm currently living, and on every conversation she's leaving me with a new thought that I haven't considered before.
Trying to gain wisdom around relationships myself. Coming to terms with the duality of connection and adventure. Life encourages us to grow, so there will always be that tension of opposite/paradoxal dynamics. Learnt a lot in this session. Thank you Esther and Trevor🙏🙏
I love how Esther quantifies intangibly and Trevor wants pragmatic solutions in every come back 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Esther: It’s about feeling comfortable around them Trevor: so is that a date at the movies or library ........? Comedy gold 🤣🤣😆😆
I thought it was funny too lol! He said but how do you know if it’s A or B and Esther’s like that’s the wrong question there is no A or B it’s not even letters😂
From our team for this conversation. "What a show😂🎉🎉🎉! This episode was a "rollercoaster" in itself. So much to say and take away from Thank you in studio for giving us the chance to break up with or not allow any unwanted connections in our lives to keep claiming us to destruction. In religion or in the outside world it is vital. On this issue, relationships successful rollercoasters journeys require True Foundation and the agreement of two parties to keep working on that together; no matter what. Therapies work when like therapist Esther said two put in theirs. There is no magic than accepting to work on it. The fear of being known as far as GOD allows men to know each other should not be in the way. That is way to build solid. The enemy of relationship, especially the building of a truthful and lasting "we" identification is real. Finally, as "Esther" in the Biblical account, we have heard Mr. Noah "ending" our relationship at the end of the show. Therefore, the decision he makes on this area next is his. Even inviting us again. #TrevorNoah #WhatNowWithTrevorNoah #GreetingsFromEstherAtWorldWideEducative"
Very useful! 😊My two cents: I found that asking the question 'how does that person make ME feel' often defined how I felt about that person. And 'does my life feel better with that person in it or not'. And most importantly 'can I be myself with that person'. ps. stable + boring is quite desired if you throw a couple kids into the picture or even if you don't, but are of a certain age already.
Thanks Trevor for the opportunity to hear this great insight into how to approach relations as a genuine human intent on partnership and companionship not dominance or ownership. Esther is so wonderfully wise but also disarmingly engaging; the quintessential basket case answer to "Why are you still in therapy?" She's also the OG ASMR experience. Thanks again Trevor and Esther. On a technical sidenote, please, as requested before, get rid of UA-cam captioning and get accurate transcriptions for your own subtitles. So many people who may be hard of hearing (not just hard of listening) need this wisdom too.
Leaning in is, by far the best approach to finding that friendship and connection. The world's hard enough as it is, without dating being like a job selection process. Totally agree❤❤ More opportunity for expansion in that approach.
What a beautifully inspiring conversation. I wish I had this information a couple of years ago. It probably would have saved me from heartbreak. Thank you for sharing this moment. 💔 😔
And a modern world where divorce rate is so high, but also people is getting into second relationships and marriages, it will be great to hear what she has to say about this stage of life of second opportunities. Too many thought provoking moments and questions. Perfect to say What’s Next??
Great conversation....relationships can be complex. I love that when you meet someone and bring them along into your life, it is key. Then you get to see someone in their true element, this is important for personal and professional relationships. Great episode 👏
Trevor I have a huge crush on your mind( I hope that's good English) I love to listen and watch every conversation you take part in, I am a big fan of your podcast it is relatable , my most favorite is the one with Lupita Nyongo as a Guest, loved all of you there . But I genuinely feel like you are a little bit not so real on this one. You should listen to @ I forgot her name but she speaks about vulnerability and shame , you will definitely love her and I also think you should invite her as a guest, you to will have a great conversation. Byooo.
😂😂😂😂 One of my students is taking a college course on Relationships at Howard University, as a Psychology major. She's pretty convinced that it will prepare her for life😂😂
I often feel like dating is like being siloed or existing in a bubble. It is the very opposite depiction of how we exist in our real life and day to day, because we are influenced by narratives, perspectives, and opinions, from other people. And we become characterized by our affiliations and their narratives, opinions, and preferences, resulting in imbalance and disharmony.
If you’re single and looking to build healthier relationships, one of the best investments you can make is starting therapy now. Even if it’s not covered by insurance (since medical necessity might not apply), finding a skilled therapist-like one trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or a model that fits your needs-can be a game-changer. Therapy can help you develop self-awareness, identify patterns, and clarify what you truly want (and don’t want) in a relationship. It typically takes about nine months to reset your relational patterns, but doing this work now can save you so much heartbreak later. You’ll gain clarity on what’s tolerable, intolerable, and what you want to invite into your life. It’s absolutely worth it.
At first I was thinking, "This lady can get it." (I love women's accents) but the more she was talking, I was hanging on to every word. This was a great interview.
It is a beautiful conversation about love and relationship 😊 i love few keys point that you bring up. Often time we always ask ourselves, who is our dream partner to be in our life, but we never ask the question who we want to be in our partner life. And the age change the answer 😁 is it so true 👍 💖 experience is teaching us and showing us who we were in the past time 😋✌️😁 a baby 🍼 and childish attitude 🤣😋 in relation 😂 oh my god. However when i get closer to 100 year old, laughing a lot and be the best friend for my partner, he can laughs, he can be sad, he can cry if he needs i will be there for him, but if need sex, keep a side boy🤣 close to 100 years old not anymore was 20😂 age is given difference answers in love relationships.😁 Life is giving an answer keep appreciate everything share love to the people who love us of who we are. Take the bad experience in life as a teachers, keep the goods memory with people who we love as a achievement in life. Born as a human is already hard, we should not add more conflicts or complicate think in our minds. Our parents know when we born, but no one knows when we will die. Only love still stay as a good memory for the people still a life. Send big love and appreciate to everyone and special to you both for sharing knowledge.💖🙏
There is a word "COMMITMENT" - do we know what this means in the context of matrimony ? There is another word "Selfishness" - Do we know what this means in the same context? Who says we are supposed to be happy?
When you go on a date never meet up alone have it be a group date you meet their friends and they meet yours. You are more likely to relax and be yourself.
Appreciate the detailed breakdown! Could you help me with something unrelated: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How should I go about transferring them to Binance?
No Esther, lets not simplify sex that much. Sex is far more bonding. Soul ties are real. Please educate people correctly about sex - its far deeper than how you've unpacked it and yes that goes for everyone. Whether they realise it at that moment or later, on in life, it does not matter. The point is that it is deeper
Be one of the first subscribers to the podcast! bit.ly/SubscribeToWhatNowPodcast 🙌 What are your thoughts on the episode?
Positive,informative,feeling like home ,chatting with lovely and wise friends ❤🙂
And if you dare to disagree with Trevor in good faith, he'll just block you.
I got a lot good insights. Thanks
This is incredibly funny and thoughtful at the same time❤
My first boyfriend and I listened to Esther Perel's audiobook Mating in Captivity together and reached mutual agreement that we weren't life partners. I kept listening and reading her work as I dated, until I met my now husband. I feel like I have had her as an influence during most of my relationships, and I am a much better friend, partner, and parent for it. Thank you so much!
Delighted that I get to exist in the same timeline as Esther Perel
You and I both!
Oh what a comment ❤
OMG Trevor’s emotional intelligence is sooo attractive
Really? the guy who used to make jokes about fat women on twitter? Gross.
Every joke has a context
Agreed. I wish he would take me!
I know right?!!!
Loved the last line. It says it all. The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your life. Profound. Simple. Not easy.
Agreed. Esther repeats that mantra often in her talks. And I have just experienced it first hand. Had wonderful marriage to a woman for 37 years. She passed in 2017. I just escaped from a 5 year relationship with a female covert narc. Started just great !! Wow! New love and all of the excitement. But now I'm so relieved to be rid of her. The quality of my life was horrible. Tired of walking on egg shells. I've now found a new love who has a similar history with ex-husband. She and I share lots of stories of how miserable we were and how we stuck in out for far too long. I no longer walk on egg shells or letting go of my personal desires to service that horrible and pathological woman. Good riddance to her. It IS hard to let go, but when you do, you are so happy ! Repeating Ester's phrase is a constant in my head now. I repeat that to my dear sons of 25 and 26 years old. Esther is a beacon and she is of course Right !!
My friends & neighbors passed away. They had been married for 75 years! The husband was a WWII veteran. When asked about her marriage, B would always say half joking "I married once, and I'll never do it again" 😢😂 She was always singing songs & rhyming about it! ❤❤ Len & B ❤️❤️
"Having a partner signals your ability to live with difference" so well said 💓
Esther drops bars
I've never seen Trevor Noah so emotionally involved in his podcast, and I've watched several. It's touching.
Yeah Esther Perel brings that out. It’s deeply moving to be seen the way EP does.
Perhaps one of my favourite podcasts of all times ! What a pleasant experience being able to hear this.
The podcast is worth putting on repeat, I have learned a lot !
The first time I learned there's a therapist, and frankly teacher of relationships named Esther Perel was through a conversation with Trevor Noah. Thanks to the quality of her work, I continue to listen, expand, share and grow. What an exchange, thank you for coming together again
This interview could save many hearts, seriously.
Please bring Esther Perel back for another podcast. This was so interesting and I am sure there are more topics that could be covered. Excellent!
This was a great episode! There were many thought provoking moments, to where I actually had to pause the episode to think about what was being said at the moment. So many great questions were asked in this episode. This conversation or therapy session was really enjoyable. Thank you both for such great content.
Such a great idea to have Esther talk us through what ''The beginning'' can look like. So refreshing, Ive followed Esther for years and have often wondered what it would feel like to ‘’sit’’ on her couch… this felt like exactly that… What a mind…
Me and my hubby are definitely on the ferris drinking a cup a tea and Lord that is the best answered prayer - I'm eternally grateful for that man and what we've been blessed with! He is my peace and I am his
My favourite people together! Excellent conversation thank you Trevor and Esther❤
Esther is the relationship G.O.A.T ❤️🔥💫❤️🔥
Never tire of listening to Esther. She is extremely present and insightful ❤
Trevor, this seemed very personal for you. I hope you find a partner you can share fire and air with ♥️🙏🏽♥️
Thank you Trevor for this episode. Can we please have Esther again because she spoke to my soul. I am in love with her knowledge and how engrossed you are in the conversation. Very informative and thought provoking episode💯
ua-cam.com/video/_NrHb_nLY38/v-deo.htmlsi=_1IvinhZHWJDLmJY
This episode shows me what I did well to get into a relationship that is now an 18 year Marriage... Almost step by step ..but i learnt a lot of incorrect things before I got it right ... And its been a great relationship with 3 kids. There is a WE & also an ME for each of us
What a beautiful conversation, it is filled with so many golden nuggets and relaxed truths so easy to hear and listen to, to find myself in it, thank you!
I would expect I’m not the only one who would delight with more ?
Those where insightful questions Trevor, many times when I listen to her it's almost as if Ester has a book of life.
And every time she speaks it feels like she's reading the individual chapter on wich I'm currently living, and on every conversation she's leaving me with a new thought that I haven't considered before.
I love Esther Perel's work. Her podcasts with couples is amazing and life changing. Fabulous discussion.
I was sooo looking forward to this insightful conversation after watching a small interview Trevor had with Esther a few months back! ❤
Me too.
Great job keeping Esther on track, Trevor!❤
You are a great interviewer/conversationalist
This discussion was toooooooooooo short. I love Esther. Thank you for another soul riveting session Trevor. I thoroughly enjoyed it
this ep. is hitting on all cylinders 🤯
I got more out of this podcast than with any therapy I've been through. Damn! Thank you. ♥️
100% agree. Only problem is I have never done therapy so I have nothing to compare it to.
@julz3591 Don't bother, just keep listening to her. 😂
I've loved Esther for years. And now my favourite comedian and her are in the same episode🤩
What Esther is describing sounds like a very Western European way of dating that feels more natural and effortless. I always learn so much from her!
Esther Perel is astounding🙌🏾interesting pick and great episode Trevor🔥
Trying to gain wisdom around relationships myself. Coming to terms with the duality of connection and adventure. Life encourages us to grow, so there will always be that tension of opposite/paradoxal dynamics.
Learnt a lot in this session. Thank you Esther and Trevor🙏🙏
I love how Esther quantifies intangibly and Trevor wants pragmatic solutions in every come back 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Esther: It’s about feeling comfortable around them
Trevor: so is that a date at the movies or library ........?
Comedy gold 🤣🤣😆😆
I thought it was funny too lol! He said but how do you know if it’s A or B and Esther’s like that’s the wrong question there is no A or B it’s not even letters😂
From our team for this conversation.
"What a show😂🎉🎉🎉!
This episode was a "rollercoaster" in itself. So much to say and take away from
Thank you in studio for giving us the chance to break up with or not allow any unwanted connections in our lives to keep claiming us to destruction. In religion or in the outside world it is vital.
On this issue, relationships successful rollercoasters journeys require True Foundation and the agreement of two parties to keep working on that together; no matter what.
Therapies work when like therapist Esther said two put in theirs. There is no magic than accepting to work on it.
The fear of being known as far as GOD allows men to know each other should not be in the way. That is way to build solid. The enemy of relationship, especially the building of a truthful and lasting "we" identification is real.
Finally, as "Esther" in the Biblical account, we have heard Mr. Noah "ending" our relationship at the end of the show. Therefore, the decision he makes on this area next is his.
Even inviting us again.
#TrevorNoah
#WhatNowWithTrevorNoah
#GreetingsFromEstherAtWorldWideEducative"
Very useful! 😊My two cents: I found that asking the question 'how does that person make ME feel' often defined how I felt about that person. And 'does my life feel better with that person in it or not'. And most importantly 'can I be myself with that person'. ps. stable + boring is quite desired if you throw a couple kids into the picture or even if you don't, but are of a certain age already.
Gosh, she's so wonderful and lovely. I have a tremendous amount of respect for her work. Thank you
Loved her book, state of affairs. She is brilliant
Thanks Trevor for the opportunity to hear this great insight into how to approach relations as a genuine human intent on partnership and companionship not dominance or ownership. Esther is so wonderfully wise but also disarmingly engaging; the quintessential basket case answer to "Why are you still in therapy?" She's also the OG ASMR experience.
Thanks again Trevor and Esther.
On a technical sidenote, please, as requested before, get rid of UA-cam captioning and get accurate transcriptions for your own subtitles. So many people who may be hard of hearing (not just hard of listening) need this wisdom too.
Every minute of this is pure gold. I keep rewinding different parts and taking notes haha!
Thanks!
Taking notes. This was a very insightful conversation, at its core about human connection.
It was great! It has given me a different perspective on relationships, though I'm yet to digest all the information.
Leaning in is, by far the best approach to finding that friendship and connection. The world's hard enough as it is, without dating being like a job selection process. Totally agree❤❤
More opportunity for expansion in that approach.
Trevor for President and King in South Africa .🥰❤️📯📖
Excellent interview and conversation.
Much to think about.
What a beautifully inspiring conversation.
I wish I had this information a couple of years ago. It probably would have saved me from heartbreak. Thank you for sharing this moment. 💔 😔
She's GOOD!!!
And a modern world where divorce rate is so high, but also people is getting into second relationships and marriages, it will be great to hear what she has to say about this stage of life of second opportunities.
Too many thought provoking moments and questions.
Perfect to say What’s Next??
Great conversation....relationships can be complex. I love that when you meet someone and bring them along into your life, it is key. Then you get to see someone in their true element, this is important for personal and professional relationships. Great episode 👏
I really enjoyed this, a lot to unpack.
A brilliant episode. Loved every minute!
This was insightful Trevor. I have enjoyed😊
Beautiful and very well explaine! Fan of the two and I love your guys come along to share these beautiful conversations ❤
Trevor yr hair is coming along beautifully ! Love d look big bro !
Thanks for this conversation.
I loved this episode so much! ❤I had to pause several times to reflect
This!!!!!!!!!! Excellent ❤
So beautiful! I wonder how can we balance "me" and "we" or is it just a working progress for the different rhythms?
Shoutout to y'all ❤
Great interview
Trevor I have a huge crush on your mind( I hope that's good English) I love to listen and watch every conversation you take part in, I am a big fan of your podcast it is relatable , my most favorite is the one with Lupita Nyongo as a Guest, loved all of you there . But I genuinely feel like you are a little bit not so real on this one. You should listen to @ I forgot her name but she speaks about vulnerability and shame , you will definitely love her and I also think you should invite her as a guest, you to will have a great conversation. Byooo.
This is a really good interview
Great episode
17:27 so true, and it has been said I wish I knew that so many years before, before bad relationships, marriage, etc. It took therapy, of course.
😂😂😂😂 One of my students is taking a college course on Relationships at Howard University, as a Psychology major. She's pretty convinced that it will prepare her for life😂😂
LOVED ❤this episode ❤
I want another episode with Esther
She is not good, she is very good!
Love from Srilanka ❤
So good!
I often feel like dating is like being siloed or existing in a bubble. It is the very opposite depiction of how we exist in our real life and day to day, because we are influenced by narratives, perspectives, and opinions, from other people.
And we become characterized by our affiliations and their narratives, opinions, and preferences, resulting in imbalance and disharmony.
If you’re single and looking to build healthier relationships, one of the best investments you can make is starting therapy now. Even if it’s not covered by insurance (since medical necessity might not apply), finding a skilled therapist-like one trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or a model that fits your needs-can be a game-changer.
Therapy can help you develop self-awareness, identify patterns, and clarify what you truly want (and don’t want) in a relationship. It typically takes about nine months to reset your relational patterns, but doing this work now can save you so much heartbreak later. You’ll gain clarity on what’s tolerable, intolerable, and what you want to invite into your life. It’s absolutely worth it.
At first I was thinking, "This lady can get it." (I love women's accents) but the more she was talking, I was hanging on to every word.
This was a great interview.
It is a beautiful conversation about love and relationship 😊 i love few keys point that you bring up.
Often time we always ask ourselves, who is our dream partner to be in our life, but we never ask the question who we want to be in our partner life.
And the age change the answer 😁 is it so true 👍 💖 experience is teaching us and showing us who we were in the past time 😋✌️😁 a baby 🍼 and childish attitude 🤣😋 in relation 😂 oh my god.
However when i get closer to 100 year old, laughing a lot and be the best friend for my partner, he can laughs, he can be sad, he can cry if he needs i will be there for him, but if need sex, keep a side boy🤣 close to 100 years old not anymore was 20😂 age is given difference answers in love relationships.😁
Life is giving an answer keep appreciate everything share love to the people who love us of who we are.
Take the bad experience in life as a teachers, keep the goods memory with people who we love as a achievement in life.
Born as a human is already hard, we should not add more conflicts or complicate think in our minds.
Our parents know when we born, but no one knows when we will die.
Only love still stay as a good memory for the people still a life.
Send big love and appreciate to everyone and special to you both for sharing knowledge.💖🙏
God I love her.
There is a word "COMMITMENT" - do we know what this means in the context of matrimony ? There is another word "Selfishness" - Do we know what this means in the same context? Who says we are supposed to be happy?
When you go on a date never meet up alone have it be a group date you meet their friends and they meet yours. You are more likely to relax and be yourself.
Appreciate the detailed breakdown! Could you help me with something unrelated: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How should I go about transferring them to Binance?
Trevor, I am free for you, and guess what? I am a therapist too.
35:38 🤧
profound
Trevor, my uncle wife sister niece is free for you ❤
bro why would u choose the exact day and time is CR7 for this video premiere
To send the goat message to M10. Idk even know what this about 😂🤷🏾♂️
♥
❤
Unfortunately, going to therapy has become a luxury and a fashion, inflating the world of truly effective therapists
There are no rules people... Just feel. Decide off feeling. Try not to be a damager. 29200 days thats the average existence.
❤❤🙏🙏
I don’t do roller coaster 🎢
ha ha I don´t have the ability to live with difference. It´s good to know if that is not for you, because it´s not for everyone.
Omg…the ADS! TOO.MANY.ADS
15 bucks a month for UA-cam premium worth the investment to not get ads
777
Tell me your story, let's not be too general. Blanket approach doesn't work well for her. Thanks Trevor, I listen to this twice.
No Esther, lets not simplify sex that much. Sex is far more bonding. Soul ties are real. Please educate people correctly about sex - its far deeper than how you've unpacked it and yes that goes for everyone. Whether they realise it at that moment or later, on in life, it does not matter. The point is that it is deeper
Sad that Trevor does advertising on these 😔
This woman knows nothing. She’s boring and redundant.
I lost respect for her when she made her nonsense comments about 🍉
What comments?
Hello there. Where was it?
Such a great conversation and their own dynamic is so nice to watch
That was tough, I'm the problem...🥲🤐
The Love I have for Genuine talks 🤌🏽… Had a really nice session here🔥.