I Wish Every Person With An Addiction Could Watch This Video
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- Опубліковано 12 кві 2023
- The qualities that make someone an addict are the exact same qualities that make someone a genius or superstar. Anyone who's ever done anything great has been overfocused, obsessive, and relentless about their pursuits. Do you think Steve Jobs, Ben Franklin, or Nikola were "balanced" individuals? Of course not. They were 100% addicted! To do great things in this world, you have to be addicted. Addiction isn't a disease or moral failing; It's just a misdirected superpower.
⚠️These are educational videos and should not be considered therapy or advice specifically for your situation.
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As someone using my powers for good, I have very bad news. My sister and I had similar early traumas. She became addicted to drugs & alcohol. I became addicted to success in school, the arts, became a doctor & humanitarian, have won awards, published books, been on TV, give speeches, got tenure as a college professor, etc. I’ve also never deviated from my goal weight, never miss a nail or hair appointment, dress perfectly, send gifts to celebrate milestones in the lives of my many friends, and my perfect home is clean at all times.
Who do you think is better off? Me or my sister who has spent 20 years in a trailer park on drugs? We are EXACTLY the same.
I get treated better by society bc I’m a successful doctor & performer, but we’re both addicted, because we both have unresolved trauma we need to distract from.
At least your wise enough to see the stigma in society and know that you both have relatable problems just handled in completely different ways because of your different in wiring or personality..most can't see what is in front of them in such Reality. I hope both of you are able to heal from whatever trauma you had to endure as children ❤️ Remember you always hold your own keys to your dungeon. NAMESTE
You are a beautiful person ❤️
ADHD here. Thank you. I came to this channel to help a friend and here I am getting help for myself. What I mean is that what you’re saying is resonating with me more for myself that I thought it would. I’ve had a problem with alcohol for many years but a friend of mine is really struggling. Now I’m realizing that it’s my struggle too.
Hi there! Welcome to our little community. So glad this video was helpful 🤗
Thank you! @@PutTheShovelDown
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@@humbleheart72 ❤❤
Finally, someone in the profession that will say it's not a disease. There's choosing to do it, addiction is its own issue, and choosing to stop. The problem seems to be that the brain remembers without being prompted. Follow the memory and there will be relapse. Drinking was to forget? Sobriety means to forget drinking.
I have an addictive personality. I'm 75 and have a lifelong addiction to food(carbs, sugar ,etc). In my early 60's my husband died & I "took up" alcohol. Through AA I've been sober for 7+ years but my overeating is out of control. How do I "shift" or harness my addiction to something positive?
@@PattyDee11271 Occupy your mind with non-food behaviors. Get a hobby, become part of a social club, find what makes you feel good that doesn't involve food. Then make sure you stick with it.
54 days sober. Wow 😯 what you are describing make a lot sense to me . Thank you 🙏, sending love 💕
You are so welcome
I love the E brain idea for ADHD, because when I work in the classroom some of those hyper kids are my favorite, and I just want to let them go outside and play because they are just not designed to sit still all day and listen. It is good for them to practice being still some, because they do need to learn, but not to that extreme. On a side note: My mom always asks me to bring the sweet potatoes to holiday dinner and until I heard you say "Sweet Potato Crunch" I thought it was uneccessary to even bring sweet potatoes. 😃
Love it!!! P.S. Sweet Potato crunch is always necessary 🤣🤣
👆👆👆👆👆 checkout the above handle, he sells good stuff🍄💊
Ok now I Neeeed this recipe for sweet potato crunch!!! Lol!
Hi I just came across your channel,been watching pod cast after pod cast. I’m undiagnosed ADHD, been suffering all my life but didn’t know why. You just changed something inside of me. Thank you so much your content is actually saving life’s from misery and hopelessness.
GOD bless you and your family.
Can’t thank you enough.
It should be required to test gut microbiome, hormones and Complete Blood Count including thyroid tested. So that their cortisol can be regulated, nutritional deficiencies addressed, and trauma support to heal.
I have dyslexia with letters/numbers and ADHD. I have wild photographic graphic, and audible memory. I don't go by my ASD diagnosis anymore. Due to my ASD brain. I don't need sheet music, and I listen and I repeat on a lot of instruments. Addiction is a systematic problem.
I’m same 😂
Yes, I channel my obsessiveness into my artwork/photography & cleaning 👍👍.
Definitely my ADHD undiagnosed.... fucked up my life...then came the addiction...I'm over my addiction but sometimes find it hard get pass the losses😢
Wondee how many people in AA etc have undignised ADHD or Autism etc ?
@@baldersn4474 research suggests it's 50%
@@valerieforeman6326 what research?
Me too! Me too!
Wonder how many 'addicts ' in the rooms of AA and Rehab etc have undiagnosed ADHD or Autism etc ?
😲😲Lots !
I love your channel Amber. It is so aptly named. Stop shoveling ****, kidding yourself and digging your own grave.
Everything you say is truth. No sprinkles on the dog pile to make it nicer.
That is the most valuable kind of help there is. No false promises, no hating the addicted person.
This video is spot on!! It's a reminder that we should all pursue our passions. That will bring the best out. That will result (as you say) with you using your "super power" for the good.
Thank you for this wonderful video. I have been sober for 15 years this year. I have ADHD as well an addictive personality. I am constantly trying to reign in my addictive focus so it ends up not being a waste of time or self destructive result. I was in a creative profession that allowed me to explore ideas, travel, create, as well have some great experiences. I had also pursued a few entrepreneurial things separate from that. My biggest challenges were not being business savvy, being highly introverted so I was closing doors to opportunities or support in order to not be overwhelmed, and not being clear on what goal I really wanted so squandered what I did make.. Somehow after all these years, I’ve reduced myself to just getting by…when all the opportunities I had could have led to a better result. This appears to be a family/generational pattern. So I guess I’m wondering how one truly defines what they want when it’s not clear, or how do they thrive when shifting all their addictive energyif there’s something self destructive or limiting within them driving the boat?
Maybe start with making a list of what you don't want!
3:10 - Counselors and people often insisting on having life "balance". I would agree with Amber's saying no, not always. But because of HALTOO*, I would also say yes, "balance" IS needed, just that it needs to be customized - it's not one size fits all. Determining the right mix of balance - self care along wirh productivity, drive, and focus is different for everyone and needs to be seen as more of an individual thing.
* HALTOO - ADHD'rs especially, need to watch out that they don't sacrifice their physical and mental health with too long, sometimes excessive bouts of obsessive productivity and work on a goal (or other fixation including addiction). HALTOO means not getting too Hungry, Angry, Lonely (I would add sad), Tired, Overweight and Out of shape. It's actually HALT but i add the last two OO's because that applies to me.
So its very important - critical even - that everyone but especially people with obsessive focus, goals, interests and drives figure out a lifestyle (schedules, simple systems, habits, routines, minimalism, online bill pay, services like Instacart and house cleaning, meal prep, etc) that supports their goals and productivity and not at the expense of their other needs, responsibilities, essential self care, nutrition, excercise, physical and mental health AND.... SOBRIETY.
Alex & Leila Hormozi talk about this. Others' definitions of "balance" is not always right for them - they see their life in terms of seasons where sometimes their goals require a season of lots of long hours and deep focus like when writing a book or building a business.
Entrepreneurs or inventors / creators still need "balance", it just might look different than what others think it is.
The Hormozis swear by obsessive focus for achieving their goals HOWEVER they've incorporated their own form of balance into their lives with habituated and systemized simplicity, minimalism and self care and schedule that works for them. (Their sleep, fitness, nutrition, daily nature walk, even socialization - over dinner which is always at a restaurant and always at 5pm cuz nature walk is after and bed is at 8pm cuz wakeup is 3am and deep work until 9am, workouts in the afternoon, etc.).
And James Hoffman, famous coffee entrepreneur, says you CAN be successful and not totally burned out on hustle culture, just know the business building phase requires long days but eventually you can systemize and get to a more sustainable pace and life.
But I guess I'm saying that what's needed is a customizable solution - where you figure out what you DO need in terms of challenge, worthy goal, with how to incorporate the other things you need in life in terms of self care, relationships, chores, other responsibilities, etc.that will keep your productivity and forward momentum sustainable while not burning yourself out.
Thank you for using your superpower to help all of us! And for making this content free and accessible. Truly grateful for you!
You are so welcome!
I so love your channel! I came looking for help because my son is battling alcoholism. In times that I was just about ready to give up, you would say just the right thing. But more than that. I do think it's a superpower. I'm his mother. I know them well. And to be honest? I think anybody would have trouble with it. In fact, just about every addict I've ever encountered has gifts. Stellar ones. They're either scared silly or frustrated Beyond repair in their eyes. In listening to you and a couple of others, I've come to examine myself as well. It started out with places I might be enabling? And has moved into wait a minute. I'm covering up stuff too. I wasn't expecting that. Thank you for making these videos.
I love that you're so self-reflective and insightful! 🤩🤩🤩🤩
@@PutTheShovelDown lol! My degree is in industrial psychology. You would think! Lol! I'm always the last to know.
Im am so grateful to have stumbled upon your channel. Thank you, thank you for a fresh n true perspective to addictive personality types. It is so empowering and it takes the shame out of the recovery journey.❤ Thank you for being so compassionate toward a group of people that are often misrepresented, so thank you so very much, your awesome❤new sub here!😊
So right, Amber!!!Not ‘willpower’ as much as change your mind power. Pick/choose your poison/power- one has positive the other has negative consequences. And copy and repeat to your destination. ❤
This is really interesting! I never thought of it that way I was just asking the other day, why does it seem like the people who struggle the most with addiction, are also some of the most brilliant, interesting, high potential people around. They're like the Rolls-Royce of human beings and here they are destroying themselves. This is very good! And what is your other channel? I'd love to see your broccoli
So glad I found your youtube … very informative… and it makes sense.
So true never thought about it this way !!
Thank you so much!
I believe this is so true!
I was looking to understand addiction for someone myself because of someone else but this has helped me understand me.
So glad this was helpful for you Kelly. Thanks for watching.
Dr Gabor Mate speaks on this as he got it at age 50.
I have been sober (mostly) for about a yr and a half now. I have been advised by my sponsor to focus on my 12 step work and building a recovery network. I used to have a natural interest and talent for art but i get so angry and frustrated now when i try to create something. I also used to like amateur dramatics and creative writing but struggle with the thought of dabbling in these again as i do become obsessive which usually leads to burnouts. I am so unbelievably angry and frustrated and sad these days that i am feeling really hopeless. I have been implementing a keep fit routine but i am feeling so unbelievably unhappy with my life. Ppl in my recovery group say its guilt and i need to forgive myself etc. My sponsor also wants me to ask myself if i am "well enough" for work which i dont understand how to answer that question. Im so confused and all i have to go on at the minute is prayer,meditation and faith that things will work out but i am acutely aware that I am not doing ANYTHING with my life. Im 37 and worked as a nurse for 14 yrs which i didnt like. I am not feeling any motivation for life atm and am just so tired all the time
You don't know how lucky u are happy for your sober so long hobby ?
Why did you go into nursing and what don't you like about it?
You haven't had a drink that's impressive 🌲
Much love and grace to you ❤️
Makes sense! Love your videos! You are so fun and down to earth. My spouse has the drinking problem, but if you can tell how many of your videos I've watched, you can tell I'm obsessive 😂. Hope he can get headed in a positive direction 🤞
I needed this. Thank you 🙏
You are so welcome
Thanks for your channel!❤
Thanks for watching, PattyDee!
We don't all know, thank you for saying that!
Thank you so much Amber.
You are so welcome!
Thanks for this video Amber
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You are so welcome!
What a GREAT CHANNEL!!
Thanks Roberta! 😃😃😃😃
Saw a video with a police officer who was on the drug squad and worked with a lot of addicts as informants. And he said when he talks to school kids about drugs he tells them what he heard from an addict who did not live to see her 21st birthday ‘Taking drugs feels wonderful ONCE. The rest of the time you are chasing the feeling of that first high and the more you do, the more it dances out of reach’
I have never gotten high so I’m curious to know if someone who has would ask with this addict
I love all your content but this one is awesome. Thank you. ❤️🌸
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Omg!! You are an angel & I so need your assistance!!! I'm an addict. But I'm passionate & I know I have a lot of positives.. can I be your client
I was hoping to share this with my loved one UNTIL the discussion part devolved into loved ones talking ABOUT the addicted person, change talk, techniques. I wish these talks could be done in two different ‘forums’.
Thanks!
Wow! Thank you so very much! 😁😁😁
As an observer, - I'm not ADHD, more the "balanced" type, I guess - but I agree with you💯%!!! 🦸👍
I totally agree with your perspective on both ADHD and addiction. Thank you for your videos. They are super helpful.
Hand up
Very well said totally agreef
Thanks Asghar!
Yes I was diagnosed with that.
I've found that it's mainly related to unhealed childhood trauma issues though, especially physical and sexual abuse, or other types, which is the case with the many people I've known over the years. ❤
Not always. Not with all addicted people - some are introduced to drugs at the age of 13…hardly an age when you can make a logical decision. But yes, many are from a trauma background.
Hello. My fiancee knows she has a problem with Alcohol but is afraid to get treatment because she believes she may have her kids taken away. She's told me that when I tell her I'm proud of her for cutting back, even just a little bit, it makes her want to continue to cut back. The problem is she freaks out when stress hits and goes right to the bottle. She also knows that her drinking is affecting her health. She admitted that to me the other day. Our biggest arguments are about her drinking and how she becomes a different person when she drinks in excess. She is willing to seek help if it's outpatient so I sent her a couple of your videos, which she was very open to. The old saying of: "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink", holds true. I guess my question is, how to I get my "horse" to "drink"?
Maybe let her know that outpatient detox can provide medication that makes withdrawal much easier. Also maybe start talking her about mindfulness. If she is going to drink, maybe she can do it more mindfully and eventually realize it doesn't do her any good. Also, look up the Sinclair method
~This might sound crazy, but when i quit, what i did, and i know it helped, was to tell myself, outloud, regularly, things that i knew were true, that id like to hear from others, like, 'You are doing a great job, you are taking care of what you set out to do', or 'You are a good person, you have many wonderful traits'~
Awesome, thank you for sharing this great tool for the tool box.
You are an awesome person Kathy❣️ @@kathyingram3061
"counterproductive pathway" is a very nice way to put addiction. I need some guidance on how to escape the hurt and damage that happens while being around a already established and admitted alcoholic. Already past him admiting issues. Already gone for help twice. And still same ole stuff. I am a conapremt with this person. Needless to say I am covering everything and having to deal with excuses and lies and the hurt it caused our child.. we are years in now and I just want to not be as affected .
Much love and grace to you ❤️
Dziękujemy.
WOW!!!! Thank you so much, Marek!!!! 😃😃😃😃😃
Amber, you and your vids are Worth it!
Love this
Thanks Kathy!
Addicted Personality and Adhd that's me! I'm 63 now.
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It is a disease...that you can recover from or at least keep in remission by staying sober. Also, there are plenty of brilliantly, obsessive, creative & hardworking people who are well producing people who are in active drug addiction too. Just because you put your obsession into something productive doesn't mean that you won't continue to be addicted to a harmful drug as well.
The book Adult ADHD: How to Succeed as a Hunter in a Farmer's World by Thom Hartmann is awesome and explains so much
This channel that I am writing from is an additional channel to my regular channel “Lynn’s World”, and I was wondering. I know that I have made several comments on a few of your videos. I have blog about my journey with having autism and ADHD, and I was wondering if there was a way I could word some of my blog posts to help pull my cousin out of his addiction without mentioning the word addiction. (My cousin in law, who is also an addict, is following my blog.) And I don’t know if she shows my cousin any of my posts.
I can only assume that she might. I want to help my cousin see that there is another path that he can take without making him feel ashamed by straight up saying that. So do you have any suggestions of things I could say in my blog posts without mentioning the word addiction?
How about those that use that superpower to carry out the evil???
Exactly 👍👍👍👍
relentless ambitious yes
Yesssssss!!!!!!!!
Does this also apply to opioid addiction, the reason I ask is how deep into it my loved one is...
For that, look into Dr. Gabor Maté
6:07 - to Amber's husband: there is NEVER enough broccoli salad - as Amber was able to prove in her story, as it was ALL eaten. 😂 Maybe Amber's husband hasn't made food for a party, holiday or picnic. That might explain his faulty perspective! 🤔😜
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Meet Chris (drug addict turned millionaire!) 👉🏻👉🏻ua-cam.com/users/live1U2pkRTm83I?feature=share
What happened to brain wanting to live survive above anything else because drugs kill?
I dont think I have addiction personality
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Is that supposed to be a pear on the books to the right and also please straighten the picture.
Well said!!! Thank you!!! 🦸♀️👍😁
You are so welcome
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🦸♀️🦸♀️🦸♀️ You are now my new favorite superhero❣️❣️❣️
if you have Adhd it will be helpful to get dr Gabor Mate book he walked it back.
100%
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Super Hero 🦸
Am I wasting my time thinking a 12 step program will help me?
I will say this. My ex-husband went to rehab five times, followed by attending AA.
Now.. it didn't work for him because he didn't want to be sober, and he is also addicted to cocaine.
The AA meetings I attended with him seemed useless to me. Mostly, I witnessed a lot of people chain smoking, drinking coffee, and retelling
the same stories.
They say if you genuinely complete the twelve steps, you will succeed in achieving sobriety.
Any type meetungs
Are you diagnosed ADHD? Have you ever been addicted to a substance?
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ADHD = All Days Hard Drugs.
Always Doing Hard Drugs lol
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I just found this channel. Thank you 🩷
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Great video! Thank you so much for using your superpower! I'm sober (alcohol) for two months now, totally obsessed with learning everything about addiction and sobriety..🤓I'm ADHD undiagnosed, but I defintely find myself in the type of personality of your description. I really like the idea of neurodiversity. Hope I'm going to find my superpowers..🦸♀
Greetings from Switzerland
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I think you just changed my life. 🦸♀️
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