I never confused the stories I made up in my head to reality. My real life was bleak and sad, and the daydreams were to cope and gave me something to look forward to and even set goals for the future. When you start making up your own reality then it becomes real mental illness and not just a maladaptive coping strategy. Reimagining troubling events from your life with a different outcome is an interesting idea. What I have found is going back and looking at these things with older and wiser eyes can provide a great deal of insight. Such as the person that abused you was pathetic in their own way. They were projecting their own negative beliefs about themselves onto you. Often, they are doing or saying things to you that happened to them in their past. There are things you didn't know when you were younger that you can use in the present to have a better understanding of what happened. I think understanding why is far more powerful than forgiveness.
I'm 55 and have been doing this for at least 50 years. I'm tired and don't want to live anymore. Lost my job once again. Most probably I'm also autistic and ADHD. Sick and tired of this constant battle in my mind...
@@stst77 Sometimes I wonder why I'm still here. I don't see the things that I have experienced as "traumatic" because nowadays almost everything is viewed as trauma. Yes, I experienced medical problems, many years of sexual abuse, bullying and so forth. Unfortunately I tried to handle it with MAD and it ruined my life. I'm the one responsible for taking this route and I wasted my life...
@@Phantom777D sexual abuse and bullying are traumatic experiences and MAD is a way to cope. Maybe you should reframe how you think about it. I mean instead of viewing it as wasting your life, rather look at MAD as getting you through a tough time, but now you are ready to move on in life. The MAD helped you through a hard time so it was useful, but now it’s time to do other things. Is there something you want to do? Maybe you can start putting your time and attention on that. I suppose you have to concentrate on getting a new job. Maybe a new job is just the jump start you need in life. Maybe your old job wasn’t the healthiest place for you if you were still needing to MAD in it. Maybe a new job can activate your mind and interests in a new way. Maybe it will introduce to new, interesting people. Or maybe the shift will be the jolt you needed to start something new that you always wanted to do. View it as a new chance in life!
@@Phantom777D i said the things you mentioned are traumatic so naturally you would develop coping skills to deal with those traumas. The MAD has helped you through difficult times so maybe you should reframe your thinking about MAD. Maybe instead of seeing it as a waste of time, look at it as a gift that did help you through life’s hardships. It was therapeutic in its own way to help you process the pain of your experiences. So now you can thank it for being there for you when you needed it but now you are ready to let it go and face life on your own two feet. You can also look at your job situation in a similar way. You can appreciate the job you had but maybe losing it is what you needed in life to jolt you forward. It sounds like while in that job you were still MADing so it was an enabling job, but maybe with a new job with new tasks, new environment and new people that will stimulate your mind enough to not need to MAD anymore. If you are still dealing with issues from past traumas maybe now is the time to either let them go or confront them head on. Whatever the situation may be, whether you believe in God or science, your brain was given to you with an active imagination that you have utilized to the fullest which isn’t a waste. Not all people can tap into their imaginations as you have done. You have tapped into an incredible part of the brain so that isn’t a waste. Nevertheless there is a time for everything and you clearly see it’s time to move on and tap into other parts of your brain and life so close this one chapter as you open another. Your time hasn’t been wasted. It was utilized for healing. Now you are ready to step into a new realm of life and this job loss has jolted you into this position. Maybe you should think of it more in these terms.
i've been dealing with problem of maladaptive daydreaming for as far as i can remember. it started as a child and its still with me as a 41 year old. The problem now is that these daydreams have become agonizing and cause me great mental pain. there's no relief at all.
Thank god this never happened to me, but my father had at least one occasion in his later life when he mixed something up there. Although I have to add that this was in his last weeks before he died from lung cancer. But I know that he used to daydream as well, also in hishealthy times. But he still was sucessful in his job and social life.
Yes I went though a stage of talking to my mother about memory’s of mine and I got told at time that never happened and had a fight with my mother during this confusion. At times when I am talking to people or In a situation it feels like a daydream what is happening around seems not real. I have ongoing treatment for psychosis common are auditory hallucinations for me and as from yesterday a diagnosis with OCD. Is it’s possible if the mind wants to relive a memory that is not reality based that could be a cause for hallucinations etc… because I will have them on and off in a crises so what does a crises look like for people with maladaptive daydreaming. I have had two already
I only started maladaptive daydreaming when i was 42 and started to listen to music through earphones. Some of mine are real, have happened but i change the outcome dramatically 😁
I daydream all the time but never have that problem probably because all the people, places and things in my daydreams are purely fictional. I draw a strict line between mixing fantasy with reality. However, I have a relative that maladaptively daydreams and does mix up daydreams with reality. I never ask about the daydreams because I find that to be a way too intrusive question. I think a daydream world is private and should be respected as such. Nevertheless because she has mixed up real people and events with things that never happened and she has briefly mentioned some things she has daydreamed about, it’s my guess that her daydreams are probably about real people, events and places. I am not sure how much control she has over her daydreams. I mean I don’t know to what extent that they just take over her mind much like Walter Mitty because from what she has said it sounds like that probably happens, but I have complete control over my daydreams. Personally I enjoy my daydreams because they keep my mind active. It’s like sitting down and writing a book or screenplay. It’s quite entertaining and relaxing. However, i think it’s somewhat problematic for my relative because the daydreams seem to take over her mind and she literally spaces out in public so people have thought she was on drugs when really she was just deep in a daydream. She is unaware when she spaces out which is why I think the daydreams take over her mind.
Sounds familiar. I protect myself by dreaming mostly with an alter ego (like "self insert" in FanFiction), like a film director. I don't really despise my real self, but if I would always dream about myself experiencing all these cool things I would be depressive everytime I would stop dreaming, because the dissappointment after each daydream would be worse.
@@oOBubbleStreamOo yes if one can kept the fantasy separate from reality then i see it as no different than watching tv or a movie but when people start mixing reality with fantasy or letting the daydream affect their emotions negatively in reality, then it becomes a problem and perhaps a major problem. The only problem it presents for me is how much time it consumes. Nevertheless it has been a very comforting coping mechanism i have used so i don’t despise it. I recognize its value. I find the mind to be a fascinating thing.
Hello sir, I am from Turkish. Sorry for my bad English. I have been having maladaptive daydreaming problems for 10 years. And I confuse my dreams with reality too much. Sometimes I can think that my daydreams are real and reality is a daydream. I daydream for about 15 hours. I do not know what to do . dreamers need your help. In the future, I want to write a book about maladaptive daydreaming. I've already started writing. This helps reduce my daydreaming time, but it's not enough. what should I do ? ♡
hi sir one query in one of your video of regarding treatment of maladapative day dreaming you mentioned study of OCD medication for few patients of mdd can I have the study report or any link
Sir can this help : Reminding myself "Stop maladaptive daydreaming" by setting this on alarm clock ringtone. And sorry for my English. I'm still learning 😅.
I have done psychology, psychotherapy, CBT, DBT overall it’s breaking down the stressors in a safe environment and focusing on behaviour patterns, for me it awareness of my internal activity/ or warnings and the behaviour maybe try DBT it’s all to do with noticing and finding the behaviours and focused on reactions been the need to daydream. It’s a long road takes few seconds for the behaviour been the daydream but it an ongoing skills base of building layers of skills you can do. Definitely find a behavioural therapist it’s just trail and error until a treatment is out there though to work at. But I have been breaking down most of my stressor and working at them bit by bit now By internal activity is my mind will start story telling even when I am in reality and doing something maybe notice a stressor but then it’s narrating to me my focus might move to it I can hear it more and then I am taking over what happens next and feel like I have to get up and pace it’s awareness the subconsciously our mind is daydreaming is a daydream or is going into maladaptive. Trying mindful exercises for the mind meditation, mindful colouring going for a walk and focusing on your senses in your reality. Even just taking time to unwind by doing these things or other as or minds don’t seem to know how to slow down might make symptoms worse so your not going though mental fatigue so much For me I have started and talked with others of what meaning or job did I give to my characters eh. For not feeling alone, helping feel even so why I have been focus on therapy so there might be a few reasons or more than a few but then that open up the need for guidance and professional help once you can at your own pace find what they are.
I never confused the stories I made up in my head to reality. My real life was bleak and sad, and the daydreams were to cope and gave me something to look forward to and even set goals for the future. When you start making up your own reality then it becomes real mental illness and not just a maladaptive coping strategy. Reimagining troubling events from your life with a different outcome is an interesting idea. What I have found is going back and looking at these things with older and wiser eyes can provide a great deal of insight. Such as the person that abused you was pathetic in their own way. They were projecting their own negative beliefs about themselves onto you. Often, they are doing or saying things to you that happened to them in their past. There are things you didn't know when you were younger that you can use in the present to have a better understanding of what happened. I think understanding why is far more powerful than forgiveness.
I'm 55 and have been doing this for at least 50 years. I'm tired and don't want to live anymore. Lost my job once again. Most probably I'm also autistic and ADHD. Sick and tired of this constant battle in my mind...
I’m sorry to hear that but don’t give up!
@@stst77 Sometimes I wonder why I'm still here. I don't see the things that I have experienced as "traumatic" because nowadays almost everything is viewed as trauma.
Yes, I experienced medical problems, many years of sexual abuse, bullying and so forth. Unfortunately I tried to handle it with MAD and it ruined my life. I'm the one responsible for taking this route and I wasted my life...
@@Phantom777D sexual abuse and bullying are traumatic experiences and MAD is a way to cope.
Maybe you should reframe how you think about it. I mean instead of viewing it as wasting your life, rather look at MAD as getting you through a tough time, but now you are ready to move on in life. The MAD helped you through a hard time so it was useful, but now it’s time to do other things.
Is there something you want to do? Maybe you can start putting your time and attention on that.
I suppose you have to concentrate on getting a new job. Maybe a new job is just the jump start you need in life. Maybe your old job wasn’t the healthiest place for you if you were still needing to MAD in it. Maybe a new job can activate your mind and interests in a new way. Maybe it will introduce to new, interesting people. Or maybe the shift will be the jolt you needed to start something new that you always wanted to do.
View it as a new chance in life!
@@Phantom777DHi, Im sorry about that, if you want i can contact with you! maybe talking with others help to you.
@@Phantom777D i said the things you mentioned are traumatic so naturally you would develop coping skills to deal with those traumas. The MAD has helped you through difficult times so maybe you should reframe your thinking about MAD.
Maybe instead of seeing it as a waste of time, look at it as a gift that did help you through life’s hardships. It was therapeutic in its own way to help you process the pain of your experiences. So now you can thank it for being there for you when you needed it but now you are ready to let it go and face life on your own two feet.
You can also look at your job situation in a similar way. You can appreciate the job you had but maybe losing it is what you needed in life to jolt you forward.
It sounds like while in that job you were still MADing so it was an enabling job, but maybe with a new job with new tasks, new environment and new people that will stimulate your mind enough to not need to MAD anymore.
If you are still dealing with issues from past traumas maybe now is the time to either let them go or confront them head on.
Whatever the situation may be, whether you believe in God or science, your brain was given to you with an active imagination that you have utilized to the fullest which isn’t a waste. Not all people can tap into their imaginations as you have done. You have tapped into an incredible part of the brain so that isn’t a waste.
Nevertheless there is a time for everything and you clearly see it’s time to move on and tap into other parts of your brain and life so close this one chapter as you open another. Your time hasn’t been wasted. It was utilized for healing. Now you are ready to step into a new realm of life and this job loss has jolted you into this position. Maybe you should think of it more in these terms.
i've been dealing with problem of maladaptive daydreaming for as far as i can remember. it started as a child and its still with me as a 41 year old. The problem now is that these daydreams have become agonizing and cause me great mental pain. there's no relief at all.
If we can create a community and we support each other, it can be solution for us.
Thank god this never happened to me, but my father had at least one occasion in his later life when he mixed something up there. Although I have to add that this was in his last weeks before he died from lung cancer. But I know that he used to daydream as well, also in hishealthy times. But he still was sucessful in his job and social life.
Yes I went though a stage of talking to my mother about memory’s of mine and I got told at time that never happened and had a fight with my mother during this confusion. At times when I am talking to people or In a situation it feels like a daydream what is happening around seems not real. I have ongoing treatment for psychosis common are auditory hallucinations for me and as from yesterday a diagnosis with OCD.
Is it’s possible if the mind wants to relive a memory that is not reality based that could be a cause for hallucinations etc… because I will have them on and off in a crises so what does a crises look like for people with maladaptive daydreaming. I have had two already
I only started maladaptive daydreaming when i was 42 and started to listen to music through earphones. Some of mine are real, have happened but i change the outcome dramatically 😁
They are all trauma changed to coping mechanism ☺️
I daydream all the time but never have that problem probably because all the people, places and things in my daydreams are purely fictional. I draw a strict line between mixing fantasy with reality.
However, I have a relative that maladaptively daydreams and does mix up daydreams with reality.
I never ask about the daydreams because I find that to be a way too intrusive question. I think a daydream world is private and should be respected as such. Nevertheless because she has mixed up real people and events with things that never happened and she has briefly mentioned some things she has daydreamed about, it’s my guess that her daydreams are probably about real people, events and places.
I am not sure how much control she has over her daydreams. I mean I don’t know to what extent that they just take over her mind much like Walter Mitty because from what she has said it sounds like that probably happens, but I have complete control over my daydreams.
Personally I enjoy my daydreams because they keep my mind active. It’s like sitting down and writing a book or screenplay. It’s quite entertaining and relaxing.
However, i think it’s somewhat problematic for my relative because the daydreams seem to take over her mind and she literally spaces out in public so people have thought she was on drugs when really she was just deep in a daydream. She is unaware when she spaces out which is why I think the daydreams take over her mind.
Sounds familiar. I protect myself by dreaming mostly with an alter ego (like "self insert" in FanFiction), like a film director. I don't really despise my real self, but if I would always dream about myself experiencing all these cool things I would be depressive everytime I would stop dreaming, because the dissappointment after each daydream would be worse.
@@oOBubbleStreamOo yes if one can kept the fantasy separate from reality then i see it as no different than watching tv or a movie but when people start mixing reality with fantasy or letting the daydream affect their emotions negatively in reality, then it becomes a problem and perhaps a major problem.
The only problem it presents for me is how much time it consumes. Nevertheless it has been a very comforting coping mechanism i have used so i don’t despise it. I recognize its value. I find the mind to be a fascinating thing.
Hello sir, I am from Turkish. Sorry for my bad English.
I have been having maladaptive daydreaming problems for 10 years. And I confuse my dreams with reality too much. Sometimes I can think that my daydreams are real and reality is a daydream. I daydream for about 15 hours. I do not know what to do . dreamers need your help. In the future, I want to write a book about maladaptive daydreaming. I've already started writing. This helps reduce my daydreaming time, but it's not enough. what should I do ? ♡
Please send me your message to somereli @ me. com (delete spaces).
lan buldum seni hayalperest
hi sir one query in one of your video of regarding treatment of maladapative day dreaming you mentioned study of OCD medication for few patients of mdd can I have the study report or any link
somer.co.il/images/MD/2009_Excessive_daydreaming-A_case_history.pdf
Sir can this help :
Reminding myself "Stop maladaptive daydreaming" by setting this on alarm clock ringtone.
And sorry for my English. I'm still learning 😅.
Yes, it might. I also suggest adding behavior that requires mindful attention to your external reality.
@@SomerClinic okay sir. And thank you so much 😊.
Doctor, is Ho'oponopono technique effective in treating MD?
There are no studies on the effectiveness of Ho'oponopono as a treatment for MD.
I have done psychology, psychotherapy, CBT, DBT overall it’s breaking down the stressors in a safe environment and focusing on behaviour patterns, for me it awareness of my internal activity/ or warnings and the behaviour maybe try DBT it’s all to do with noticing and finding the behaviours and focused on reactions been the need to daydream. It’s a long road takes few seconds for the behaviour been the daydream but it an ongoing skills base of building layers of skills you can do. Definitely find a behavioural therapist it’s just trail and error until a treatment is out there though to work at. But I have been breaking down most of my stressor and working at them bit by bit now
By internal activity is my mind will start story telling even when I am in reality and doing something maybe notice a stressor but then it’s narrating to me my focus might move to it I can hear it more and then I am taking over what happens next and feel like I have to get up and pace it’s awareness the subconsciously our mind is daydreaming is a daydream or is going into maladaptive.
Trying mindful exercises for the mind meditation, mindful colouring going for a walk and focusing on your senses in your reality. Even just taking time to unwind by doing these things or other as or minds don’t seem to know how to slow down might make symptoms worse so your not going though mental fatigue so much
For me I have started and talked with others of what meaning or job did I give to my characters eh. For not feeling alone, helping feel even so why I have been focus on therapy so there might be a few reasons or more than a few but then that open up the need for guidance and professional help once you can at your own pace find what they are.