You're awesome! I was so embarrassed I nearly fell over 🙈 blush red Clay, blush red hearing my voice message 🤣 haha Thank you for answering my question and making my day - infp Charise Brunner from Montana 💎
INTJ stereotype is to be "robotic" but I noticed that a lot, including myself, feel deeply (we don't externalize it). We also prioritize logic over emotions, so this could be our weak area. I tended to push them down or to the side. Now that I've been doing introspection work, I realized that I have a hard time at recognizing and or identifying my emotions. Now that I've been improving at this, I have additional information I can use when making decisions. I still don't let emotions rule my life, but I don't have to be afraid of them anymore.
Ok I'm gonna go nerd. But I've always used the analogy that life is like a video game, an RPG. U cant just go straight to the end boss n expect to win. U have to fight the little battles to gain the experience n gain levels to become stronger. If u dont face the emotions then u dont learn how to better handle other bigger situations
Nail👏on👏the👏hammer. This is what I needed! I have been thinking these days alot about how emotional intelligence, empathy and personality type relate to each other. I definitely agree that EQ isn't as prioritized in society (compared to IQ) but it does truly make a huge impact in our lives.
I disagree with one point slightly, but overall the video is incredibly insightful (as always). At around ~9:47 you mentioned being unrattled when someone confronts them being a sign of low EQ, but in my case (and perhaps the case of others) verbal and emotional abuse can cause this knee-jerk reaction in me I would say my EQ is at least average (with my intuition perhaps a bit above average) but my unflappable reaction to extreme anger is to appear unshaken... while steeped in cold hatred from contempt. Much like a door slam I shut down my empathy and respect for them and reduce it to nothing, because I feel they are being unjust to me with unwarranted extreme anger. This only occurs with anger I don't feel I "earned" and is sort of a learned form of indignation as a defense, otherwise my expression/range of emotions and my responses are quite healthy. A weird edge-case for sure but some do exist ;-;
I like your reflection about becoming a mix of all personality types (at the very end of your video). It would be interesting what older people have to say about this (I'm 50). I know that when I was in my 20s, I was definitely an INFJ but over the years I have worked on the "defaults" (people pleasing, sensing other people's emotions more than my own, making sure that the group feeling was right etc.) and now I can't say if I'm an INFJ or an INFP because I understand and respect (!) my own values and feelings so much more now and people pleasing is definitely not my thing at all anymore.
Wow... You just described my relationship with my ex. He would cry and I would ask "why" like 10x before just giving up. It's extremly difficult to have a relationship with someone like that.
As a INFP I have to say that I've put effort to not compare my experience with other people's ones in order to get an understanding of it. I often need to relate to something before expressing my opinion about it and it can result annoying to other people.. so firstly I admit "my experience is different but similar somehow so I'm wondering if listening to it can help you understand yourself"
About INFP, INFJ and other types. I am an INFP and you are right about our self reflection. And an unhealthy INFP can feel like he knows everything how is right and he is the supreme judge over all people when comes to morality. Yet still they would pay attention to social queues when you compare them to ISTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ENTJ. Because these types "usually" is not aware that other people also have emotions or straight up do not care what others feel. A usual INFP even tho self centered, with their high Extroverted Intuition they pay attention needs and wishes of people around them or they may even look at whole world for that. INFPs wish to create moral system for whole socaity that would benefit everyone. In our mind if everyone do the right thing then no one would have to suffer in this world. But we are well aware that we can not impose our values on other people so best we can do is become an example of our ideals of how a person should be. And reason why we are self centered is because we believe that we can not understand someone else if we do not understand ourselves. We have to see our qualities and flaws first. We see our own self as a puzzle to solve. If we can identify each components then we can replace the pieces according to how others feel in order to achive emphaty. And why it is difficult to open up? Usually because it feels like human language by itself is not enough to explain what is going on inside. You open up and explain yourself only to see the person next to you misunderstood you. It is okay if the person says "I don't understand". But when you speak about apples and the person hears oranges then why to talk. But if we see a person whom we can trust and feel that he/she understand us it is like the best gift in the world. Then good luck making us shut up xD INFJ.. I had an INFJ in my life and what I see is a little different than how you say. I think INFJs so busy blaming themselves for every single thing that happens in this world, doesn't matter if they have made a mistake or not. This cause them to become super depressive and make them unable to identify their own emotions. They have to realize that not everything is their responsibility and stop hating themselves while excuse every other persons unhealthy behavior.
My experience with, EQ, is to use it as a sixth sense. I see someone’s being in the physical,..watch, listen, etc. at the same time, I’m getting a “feel” for their emotional state. Added information. Just part of my human experience of others. If the perceived, doesn’t match the feel, then I become cautious. Most of my deepest relationships, are with those who are in physical match with their inner emotional state. No mixed messages, so to speak. A sort of honesty, that is throughout....a being. Then I can trust. Thanks for helping me clarify, this, for myself, Clay. Always enjoy these introspective explorations.
What about people with high EQ who prioritize other people’s emotions over their own? So they manage their own personal emotions in order for them to not hurt the other person during a conflict. To always maintain respect for the other person even if the other person is yelling verbal insults at them. THEN they let out all the emotions they felt when they’re alone 😂😭 so to the outside world they seem mature and stoic and low EQ, but in actuality they’re high EQ with different priorities than the ones you mentioned?
I love the comment on perpetual happiness. It's very common here in the States. It's draining to have those "happy police" people around, and it actually makes you feel bad about yourself. In Europe it is a different culture- people don't say "thank you" unless they're really thankful, and they don't just toss around compliments just to do it. This TED talk snippet is very applicable: ua-cam.com/video/piRqRnAdcNk/v-deo.html
School grades have nothing to do with iq. While they can it's not a rule. Lots of geniuses quit school or struggled (Einstein being one of them) . School perf. often has a lot to do with a school choice, teachers' skills and competency, also parents not forcing own ambitions on kids, also their performances as parents and support... High iq Children of absent parents often struggle at school, or with the simplest tasks when feeling abandoned. Depressed kids hate school and don't want to go there often fail grades. School grading system plays a role too. Unfortunately. I like that you brought up toxic positivity, which also comes with toxic spirituality aka good Vibes only, but positivity has nothing to do with emotional intelligence. Pain escapism neither. Positive people just appear happy slash delusional, which can but doesn't have to mean dumb. so do the bubbly cheerful optimistic idealists, and even extroverts like enfps or Esfp for example, who are often very intelligent emotionally. And on the flip side... Hard time sharing feelings is normal for many intelligent people, BUT Complete inability getting in touch with own feelings or feelings of others seems nearly like a definition of a low emo intelligence in my opinion. And it comes hand in hand with hard time creating deep human bonds. They might want that but don't know how to connect to self and others. Such a cool topic. Infjs do connect with own emotions they just overthink and get lost sorting out own emotions from the expectations and other people's feelings noise, because of absorbing so much. Probably all personalities are self reflecttive when they are at their best. I mean we're just people we aren't perfect. But emotionally poor person will be rather clueless about own and others emotions , not stressed. They won't be empathetic they will be sympathetic at most. They won't even notice much about self it others.
You basically just explained my Ex. I wondered why we dident work out. But this video explained alot. And I'm also a INFJ. She wouldent open up to me about anything. She only has that 1 friend she trusts with her feelings. And when i started to make my feeling knowing and wanting to go to the next level of the relationship she left me.
I'm sorry this happened to you. My ex always wanted to hear me talk about my feelings, my thought/emotional process in any given situation. I think he was living vicariously because he wasn't able to express his feelings. He often said I don't know what I feel. He would get angry and impulsive instead. I had to break up with him because it didn't feel like a safe space for me anymore.
This!!! Every job I've ever had I'm always just observing all of the dynamics and communication blocks. I'm kind of obsessed with family systems and job climates. I've worked in to two non for profits working with inner city youth and adults with developmental disabilities. It was so interesting. When I was a mother baby nurse I got pulled into NICU and I am not interested in only the technical side of nursing. I had good instincts (call it my spidey sense) and could feel my way through complex problems and I also was always given high trauma a situations because I could empathize with anyone. My husband and I are obsessed with emotional intelligence.
An INFP here. I think it took me a while to understand people around me without judgement. I realized that the discrepancies between how I see the world and how it actually is, became a source of colossal heartache for me. I am not sure if I can call myself emotionally intelligent yet but a year back, I felt like I lost a great deal of my compassion after going through some major trauma back in 2018. Pain after all, can make us incredibly entitled. But after abundant rumination, I realized I fell short on understanding the morals of those who were radically or slightly different than what my values qualified as. So, instead of mentally challenging and exhausting myself with the discrepancies that gave me burning feet, my agenda for life became all about seeking the understanding of why people do what they do instead of clinging onto the self limiting belief of how it 'should' be. And I can assure you that adopting morals of those around me has helped my overwhelming subjectivity and my emotional intelligence so much so that I am moved by people all the time. We all are similar in more ways than we are different.
I (INFP) broke up with my boyfriend (ENTJ) last night. Regardless of all the problems we've had in the relationship, I've realized that emotional intimacy and emotional intelligence was missing. Even after the break up my ex wasn't able to express what he was feeling or even understand those feelings. It was heartbreaking.
Clay, I like your thoughtfulness in that you think. I am an infj, empathic male, guitar player song writer. It is good to run into people like you. We are rare. I deep think too. I hope to know men who can get past "What job do you do? I eat bacon too". My wife laughed when I said to her, "Too many men are relationally retarded". I enjoy your you tubes. Get you on the what I call Starbucks latte Christianity. No harm in wine. Good to know people like you are out there. Not a techie. Could not leave you an audio.
I discovered your channel a few weeks ago and I've been watching some of your videos, I really like them. English is not my first language so I might not be able to understand you 100% ... but you are very articulate and clear so I could learn many things from you. Thank you for sharing your ideas.
INFJ Christian here :) Been binging through your channel, I really like it. I think it’s ironic that Jesus was one of the most emotional people in the Bible, but us as Christians don’t usually acknowledge this. The behaviour you mention is true and probably comes from an evangelical POV (a whole other topic in itself). Nevertheless, I’m sorry you didn’t find emotional safety within the communities you were in. It definitely exists ❤
I think INFJs generally have both. Every INFJ I've met, myself included, has been very intelligent and very emotionally intelligent and empathetic too. For me to have a close bond with someone, I need them to have both. We need to be able to have deep, intelligent conversations about ideas, concepts, and theories. But we also need to have that emotional connection where we can talk about and understand each other in an emotionally intimate way.
Been Trying To Process I Do Want To Learn & Grow However With Employers & I Feel Backed In The Corner Outbursts Also Having Outlook Always Tried To Be Happy Optimistic Silver Lining Until Destructive Exposure Therapy Which Only Triggers Abusive Targeted For 30 Years I Can Not Always Communicate Effectively How I Feel Or What I'm Going Through ADHD I Don't Believe I'm Better Than Anyone Else But Love The Way U Share In A Non Threatening Manner😁Thank U
oh yeah...I'm soooo familiar with that thing I like to call "bypassing"....or the "belief" that we should all "transcend" our less than perfectly happy emotions before we've even had a chance to examine what they're telling us. It's not that I don't believe it's possible to transcend certain so-called "negative" emotions (once processed appropriately) but I had a couple of family members who were in a "spiritual community" for many years, and I swear they either misunderstood the teaching in that community or the teaching itself was dysfunctional...I'll never know which, but I swear it's a very specific and real thing....It's as if, in an effort to be "spiritually evolved" they just invalidated all of the normal human emotions that didn't fall into the "positive" category...Not only did they go way out of their way to invalidate/bypass their own "negative emotions", but they often seemed to get a subtle but noticeable satisfaction out of being so good at bypassing them and also out of seeing others who actually expressed them, as if those people, contrasted with themselves, made them feel more "evolved". I feel like there's an optimal point on the spectrum between 1: having no control over one's emotional reactions and 2: Having complete control over them to the point we refuse to allow them any space in our reality....and I believe that "optimal point" is actually very easy to find if you have just two very important ingredients: Self-acceptance and a commitment to Truth. The self-acceptance part is important because many of us allow our own fears of being imperfect get in the way of fully acknowledging the truth of how we feel. Defense mechanisms can get in the way...and unfortunately, self-acceptance/self-awareness seems to take time and work for most of us... and also courage to stand in that truth when our family..friends.. acquaintances...etc...may be a little less than supportive. I've actually wondered, at great length, about that question of whether we can become so well-rounded that we become a "mix" of all of the personality characteristics we've seen as "useful" or "valuable". My hunch is that the answer is "yes"...but that our underlying personality may play a part in which strengths we value and therefore choose to develop. I used to think I was an INFP and it took me something like three years to realize that...no...I'm actually an INFJ...but with "learned" access to Fi and "some" Ne. Whenever I take an MBTi test I always come out very close to the center in all functions....but Se, I realized, is totally my weakest function and Ni is absolutely my "default". This was how I finally figured it out, but it took me a long time, and I still feel like I'm a bit of a "hybrid".
Thinking about how as we become healthier in our personality type, we might become more of a combination of personality types is an interesting concept. Perhaps at our core, we would still be Infj's .
I always had thought that, being emotional is just a mess of feelings although emotionally intelligent, your capable of separating things without mixing Et getting lost in it (still watching.... Love the question tho....) just came to my mind...
Yeah. Towards the middle. Those who test the most borderline for the right reasons have a lot of potential really. Its good. Not wishy washy. Day two binge ha ah. Yeah im extremest sometimes. Im a pretty self centered infj but i do balance it with caring for others. In fact one of my monikers is care taker. Making peace in the family when warranted. Taking care of people in peace corp. rasing two kids. Caring for geriatric dad to end. And always the multiple critters. 6 dogs 4 cats 2 birds and two mares these days. Tested infj since a teen. My one function that wasnt borderline was the j/p. I was all but one J. These days i make a conscious desicion to be more P. Its helped because as my son said. My mom loves peace and quiet and cats…..tou cant have peace without the P. Oh a pun!
Lol, I was just about to say, does an infj mean you are all the bad things people say infjs are....like what if an infj wasnt all the bad things and just the good things then would it still be an infj?
Love Clay!!! I have noticed that lots of successful people in their careers suffer from low IQ and to some degree they are really closed off emotionally.
I can explain that easy...a we feel like xyz and did want anyone to know I am ... Reading.. writing badly.. spilling explain what's my doctor appropriately I reverse latter's.. anor I don't pronounce the end of the anyway Casper told me stop explaining myself to people .
I really liked the topic and your explanation. Totally agree! I was in relationship with low EQ person and I agree. I was forced to feel nothing or feel good, the connection was very weak, no possibility to talk about problems. This was the time I discovered I'm INFJ. Now, 3 years later I did some inner work, focused on defining my emotions and I started to question if I'm still INFJ. Thank you Clay for such valuable video!
Interesting.. I feel others, I know myself but there are times that I observe there is something going on with myself before I realize what it is. It usually has to do with my mother’s death. For example I will be busy and realize there’s something wrong and it may take a little while and I’ll realize it’s her birthday, around the time she died or Mother’s Day. She committed suicide.. I used to prepare myself more. But I’ve moved passed this in many ways but still I mourn her and not always know when I’m mourning her. At least not right away. So these particular feelings It is difficult for me to identify them. Although I can ready myself.
O don't know what I am! I seem to fit into a few types but then there is always something described in each trait that I say ' that's definatly not me' I think there is a 17th type - Me
I'm interested in the topic of childhood emotional neglect. Would be interesting to hear what you have to say about it. Dr. Jonice Webb who you can find on youtube wrote a book about it, that I bought and read, but I didn't find much insight into it. I appreciated that she brought awareness into it though, but I haven't heard much talk about the topic afterward. I deeply crave( due to my personality) and fear (due to my childhood) emotional intimacy so I'm torn apart. The fear has been too strong and as a consequence, I've lived a very lonely life.
I find this topic very interesting. Not long ago when I was in a really bad place (I think around five years ago) I started to picked up a book called Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, I slowly began to understand and develop my EQ. I suppose we're as society tend to put/praise IQ first, even when we were kids at school. Not any of my teachers would talk about how important EQ is. This is probably something we need to develop from a younger age, especially at school. Anyway, thank you so much for your content Clay. I do really enjoy long discussion like this. Keep it up 👍❤️
Great video Clay! Can you give more examples from your experience on how you got better at knowing yourself? I've been struggling lately with making the "right" decision and knowing what my "feelings" are in order to make the "right" decision - the inner pain of not knowing is the worst...
I also struggle with being indecisive. I used to be worse. I actively practice making decisions in an attempt to work on it. If somebody gives me two options, or asks me where I want to go for dinner, or anything like that, I will try my best to make fast decisions on the spot and just pick one. Sounds so simple, but it's a great thing to practice.
Clay Arnall Thank you for your amazingly insightful videos! I recently found your channel so I’ve only listened to a few so far. I got sad from what you said about Christians :(... & I’m sorry you’ve got such bad experiences from the Christians you’ve met or heard of. My experience is that we’re no different than others - I’m not! I get depressed, angry & tired of a lot of shit that’s going on & I’m really tired of Christians who behave as they’re always happy! We’ve got the same problems as everyone else! We can pray, but that doesn’t mean that the problems will go away! Some Christians are fake - there are Narcissists amongst Christians also (I grew up with one) & that might be hard to understand, but just like I wrote - we go through the same problems, sicknesses - both physical & mental ones just like other people! & why pinpoint Christians? Christianity is the only religion that is not based on your own achievements etc! We’ve been offered a gift! There’s nothing you can do yourself! You just have to accept the gift that Jesus gave you! Every other religion is based on what you do, if your good enough. No one is good enough, but everyone is offered this gift of forgiveness in Christianity & you just have to receive that gift because Jesus is the only one who’s good & He died for everyone’s sins. Gods grace is new every morning & He only wants you to love Him above all others & your fellow human beings as you love yourself! God let His only Son die for you & me & for everyone! You’re already forgiven! You just have to invite Jesus into your life & receive Him & His gift! God is Love ❤️
Clay, I just wanted to say, I am a believer in Jesus Christ, but I've noticed and am probably equally as bothered as you by the over pressing of smiling all the time and being happy in the church. It's actually fed into a lot of my problems with anxiety and depression, I would avoid going to church even though I wanted to worship God because I didn't want to put myself in a position where I would be met with that kind of reaction to anything negative. In fact, I very rarely would open up about anything negative in my life and would only talk to the people about my life when I had something positive to share. I totally believe that God gives us inner peace and joy in the midst of adversity and struggles, but that is not the same thing as pushing false positivity on someone in the name of God. If we read the book of Job we will know this. Or the book of psalms. Or, ahem, the book of lamentations. I mean, cmonnnnnnnnn. Anywho, really enjoying your channel. ❤ I feel less crazy, i can relate to a lot of what you share.
I had someone who convinced me growingup to not openup unless I had something 'amazing' to express....like you just described it. No one wanted to hear (depth) my feelings.They "sshhhhh" me alot. Now as an adult they seem to be trying to frame me to appear as the one who lacks EQ. Hiding their lack of empathy all those years as they turn everyone against me😭 My question is what kind of professional is best to heal a past childhood of being agitated, bullied, silenced?
I really liked this video! What you mentioned at the end about how important MBTI is and coming toward the middle is also something I’ve thought about a lot. I think MBTI might be more valuable for people who are struggling with personality, relationship, or mental-health related issues and are seeking further insight to help them solve problems when other types of diagnostics have failed (e.g. mental illness screenings, etc.). Finding out I was INFJ made me more aware of my weaknesses and helped me understand why certain problems seem to follow me around in life. Now, I’m consciously working on strengthening those weak cognitive functions and not falling prey to them. I have a very clearly defined INFJ hierarchy of functions, though-I rely very heavily on Ni, Fe, and Ti, and my Se and shadow functions are very low. But some other people in my life are more balanced (in terms of function use) and don’t struggle with as many issues as I do, so MBTI is less valuable for them. I have a friend whose outlook is to use the tools that work and leave behind the rest, and I feel like that’s very applicable for MBTI.
Yes I do believe that it is harder for people with healthier mindsets and personalities probably do have a harder time spotting a partner that is similar in that way ...because there are so many people, like people with narcissism for instance, that develop skills for pretending so well like they have positive mindsets, and those might stand out more because they do emphasize their good person qualities a lot. It’s hard to the difference sometimes except for when your intuition strongly makes you feel like there’s just something much needed that’s ( missing) . Hard thing to explain to that person though....
OMG ! I've been thinking exactly the same that maybe the goal of our life is to become so well rounded that its difficult for people to really tell what personality are we :) I can't believe how sometimes you freak me with the amount of similarities you have with me although I'm an INFP. nowadays working to come out of my head and become more J-ish :) Absolutely love your videos !
dude im a infp with low emotional intelligence. i care and understand people so much that i let them push me over. I basically forgot to care about myself. Definitely working on setting boundaries and standing up for myself
Love this! Very insightful. You keep nailing every topic and it is extremely helpful. I would LOVE to watch a video of how people with low EQ can increase their EQ and how to provide emotional support to a partner (in examples). I find that this is one main common denominator in most of my relationships, where the person just simply does not know how to provide emotional support.
I really do have the same questions and thoughts that you mentionned at the end of your video 🤔 In fact i feel like a mix between the good sides of many personalities and i'm not saying this in any selfish way but i just always wonder about that possibility because this confuses me and i would really love to hear your thoughts about it ( finally someone mentionned this i'm so glad i was'nt not the only one 😌) Ps: i love your videos and your logic of thinking keep working we appriciate you . All the love from an INFP 💙
Great video learned a lot. As an infj the very last 30 seconds was fascinating and I was like " talk more about the dude" I guess that's where our deepness shows up. Took away a lot of really good tips
I am an Ambivert ENFJ-A your last question was really interesting I have worked on myself for the last 2 years and what I have learned and understand its like when you become an healthy type you actually become in peace with yourself and your surounding, abviously you wont be able to be or act like other type as you are devlopping your own strenght you are then becoming more flexible.
I think most people know how to get in touch but do not know what do they get in touch with. We end up with all sorts of unpleasant surprises: toxic relationships, coward contracts, codependency, and so on. In most cases, there is no way to discuss relationships because even socially active people do not know what relationships are.
Really enjoyed this topic. And I agree I think evolving is what you related to at the very end. Your "theory" that you're still working out in your head. Thanks!
Hello, Clayton! I've been watching your videos for months now and I really love how deep you go into things and explore their various sides.You communicate your views in very soft calm manner which is a great quality to me. You do have the traits for a very good therapist if you ask me and you can be better than many of those I know should you decide to become a coach for example and your videos help see certain things from new interesting perspectives :) I'm exploring the birth charts of INFJs and I was wondering if you'd mind sharing yours? I'm an INFJ myself, not from the most developed ones, though :D I strongly believe that all systems for self-exploration are linked and I like diving into them and figuring out the connections, so I'd be very happy if you choose to help me with my little exercise.
@@ClayArnall The birth chart is an astrological term meaning a wheel divided in 12 segments where all existing planets, the Sun and the Moon included, fall into one of 12 zodiac signs and form angles and figures together depending on your date, hour and place of birth. This is not your mainstream astrology where they tell you how your day or week, or year will go if you're a Libra for example, but a very detailed personal horoscope which can help people understand themselves better and find out where their core conflicts lie as well as providing them with possible solutions. It's a lot like MBTI, but really more personal. So I want to explore the correlation between the type and what I find in the charts of INFJs. I already have the charts of a couple of real life friends, but as you know we aren't that easy to find each other offline. It's more of a luck :)
You're awesome! I was so embarrassed I nearly fell over 🙈
blush red Clay, blush red hearing my voice message 🤣 haha
Thank you for answering my question and making my day - infp Charise Brunner from Montana 💎
Thanks for sending in the question!
I heard that beautiful favorite voice! 😍
INTJ stereotype is to be "robotic" but I noticed that a lot, including myself, feel deeply (we don't externalize it). We also prioritize logic over emotions, so this could be our weak area. I tended to push them down or to the side. Now that I've been doing introspection work, I realized that I have a hard time at recognizing and or identifying my emotions. Now that I've been improving at this, I have additional information I can use when making decisions. I still don't let emotions rule my life, but I don't have to be afraid of them anymore.
Di o. Yes.
Ok I'm gonna go nerd. But I've always used the analogy that life is like a video game, an RPG. U cant just go straight to the end boss n expect to win. U have to fight the little battles to gain the experience n gain levels to become stronger. If u dont face the emotions then u dont learn how to better handle other bigger situations
“I want deep connection by default” 💯
😂Is That How That Works Been Wondering😁
Never getting rattled doesn't necessarily mean low ET, some it is just childhood trauma
Nail👏on👏the👏hammer. This is what I needed! I have been thinking these days alot about how emotional intelligence, empathy and personality type relate to each other. I definitely agree that EQ isn't as prioritized in society (compared to IQ) but it does truly make a huge impact in our lives.
Clay's videos are 20+ minutes, cuz we INFJs can talk, you know. Quite a lot, when we want, you know. 😂😂😂
Endlessly
Exactly. I have long sessions of talking; with myself.😂🥺
😂😂😂
I disagree with one point slightly, but overall the video is incredibly insightful (as always). At around ~9:47 you mentioned being unrattled when someone confronts them being a sign of low EQ, but in my case (and perhaps the case of others) verbal and emotional abuse can cause this knee-jerk reaction in me
I would say my EQ is at least average (with my intuition perhaps a bit above average) but my unflappable reaction to extreme anger is to appear unshaken... while steeped in cold hatred from contempt. Much like a door slam I shut down my empathy and respect for them and reduce it to nothing, because I feel they are being unjust to me with unwarranted extreme anger.
This only occurs with anger I don't feel I "earned" and is sort of a learned form of indignation as a defense, otherwise my expression/range of emotions and my responses are quite healthy. A weird edge-case for sure but some do exist ;-;
I like your reflection about becoming a mix of all personality types (at the very end of your video). It would be interesting what older people have to say about this (I'm 50). I know that when I was in my 20s, I was definitely an INFJ but over the years I have worked on the "defaults" (people pleasing, sensing other people's emotions more than my own, making sure that the group feeling was right etc.) and now I can't say if I'm an INFJ or an INFP because I understand and respect (!) my own values and feelings so much more now and people pleasing is definitely not my thing at all anymore.
Wow... You just described my relationship with my ex. He would cry and I would ask "why" like 10x before just giving up. It's extremly difficult to have a relationship with someone like that.
As a INFP I have to say that I've put effort to not compare my experience with other people's ones in order to get an understanding of it. I often need to relate to something before expressing my opinion about it and it can result annoying to other people.. so firstly I admit "my experience is different but similar somehow so I'm wondering if listening to it can help you understand yourself"
I’m an INFP too 🥰
About INFP, INFJ and other types.
I am an INFP and you are right about our self reflection. And an unhealthy INFP can feel like he knows everything how is right and he is the supreme judge over all people when comes to morality.
Yet still they would pay attention to social queues when you compare them to ISTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ENTJ. Because these types "usually" is not aware that other people also have emotions or straight up do not care what others feel.
A usual INFP even tho self centered, with their high Extroverted Intuition they pay attention needs and wishes of people around them or they may even look at whole world for that.
INFPs wish to create moral system for whole socaity that would benefit everyone. In our mind if everyone do the right thing then no one would have to suffer in this world.
But we are well aware that we can not impose our values on other people so best we can do is become an example of our ideals of how a person should be.
And reason why we are self centered is because we believe that we can not understand someone else if we do not understand ourselves.
We have to see our qualities and flaws first. We see our own self as a puzzle to solve. If we can identify each components then we can replace the pieces according to how others feel in order to achive emphaty.
And why it is difficult to open up? Usually because it feels like human language by itself is not enough to explain what is going on inside.
You open up and explain yourself only to see the person next to you misunderstood you. It is okay if the person says "I don't understand". But when you speak about apples and the person hears oranges then why to talk.
But if we see a person whom we can trust and feel that he/she understand us it is like the best gift in the world. Then good luck making us shut up xD
INFJ..
I had an INFJ in my life and what I see is a little different than how you say.
I think INFJs so busy blaming themselves for every single thing that happens in this world, doesn't matter if they have made a mistake or not.
This cause them to become super depressive and make them unable to identify their own emotions.
They have to realize that not everything is their responsibility and stop hating themselves while excuse every other persons unhealthy behavior.
My experience with, EQ, is to use it as a sixth sense. I see someone’s being in the physical,..watch, listen, etc. at the same time, I’m getting a “feel” for their emotional state. Added information. Just part of my human experience of others. If the perceived, doesn’t match the feel, then I become cautious. Most of my deepest relationships, are with those who are in physical match with their inner emotional state. No mixed messages, so to speak. A sort of honesty, that is throughout....a being. Then I can trust. Thanks for helping me clarify, this, for myself, Clay. Always enjoy these introspective explorations.
What about people with high EQ who prioritize other people’s emotions over their own? So they manage their own personal emotions in order for them to not hurt the other person during a conflict. To always maintain respect for the other person even if the other person is yelling verbal insults at them. THEN they let out all the emotions they felt when they’re alone 😂😭 so to the outside world they seem mature and stoic and low EQ, but in actuality they’re high EQ with different priorities than the ones you mentioned?
I love the comment on perpetual happiness. It's very common here in the States. It's draining to have those "happy police" people around, and it actually makes you feel bad about yourself. In Europe it is a different culture- people don't say "thank you" unless they're really thankful, and they don't just toss around compliments just to do it. This TED talk snippet is very applicable: ua-cam.com/video/piRqRnAdcNk/v-deo.html
HI Clay! Have you read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle? He explains alot of what you talk about in his books...
School grades have nothing to do with iq. While they can it's not a rule. Lots of geniuses quit school or struggled (Einstein being one of them) . School perf. often has a lot to do with a school choice, teachers' skills and competency, also parents not forcing own ambitions on kids, also their performances as parents and support... High iq Children of absent parents often struggle at school, or with the simplest tasks when feeling abandoned. Depressed kids hate school and don't want to go there often fail grades.
School grading system plays a role too. Unfortunately.
I like that you brought up toxic positivity, which also comes with toxic spirituality aka good Vibes only,
but positivity has nothing to do with emotional intelligence.
Pain escapism neither.
Positive people just appear happy slash delusional, which can but doesn't have to mean dumb.
so do the bubbly cheerful optimistic idealists, and even extroverts like enfps or Esfp for example, who are often very intelligent emotionally.
And on the flip side...
Hard time sharing feelings is normal for many intelligent people,
BUT Complete inability getting in touch with own feelings or feelings of others seems nearly like a definition of a low emo intelligence in my opinion. And it comes hand in hand with hard time creating deep human bonds.
They might want that but don't know how to connect to self and others.
Such a cool topic.
Infjs do connect with own emotions they just overthink and get lost sorting out own emotions from the expectations and other people's feelings noise, because of absorbing so much.
Probably all personalities are self reflecttive when they are at their best. I mean we're just people we aren't perfect.
But emotionally poor person will be rather clueless about own and others emotions , not stressed. They won't be empathetic they will be sympathetic at most. They won't even notice much about self it others.
You basically just explained my Ex. I wondered why we dident work out. But this video explained alot. And I'm also a INFJ. She wouldent open up to me about anything. She only has that 1 friend she trusts with her feelings. And when i started to make my feeling knowing and wanting to go to the next level of the relationship she left me.
I'm sorry this happened to you. My ex always wanted to hear me talk about my feelings, my thought/emotional process in any given situation. I think he was living vicariously because he wasn't able to express his feelings. He often said I don't know what I feel. He would get angry and impulsive instead. I had to break up with him because it didn't feel like a safe space for me anymore.
This!!! Every job I've ever had I'm always just observing all of the dynamics and communication blocks. I'm kind of obsessed with family systems and job climates. I've worked in to two non for profits working with inner city youth and adults with developmental disabilities. It was so interesting. When I was a mother baby nurse I got pulled into NICU and I am not interested in only the technical side of nursing. I had good instincts (call it my spidey sense) and could feel my way through complex problems and I also was always given high trauma a situations because I could empathize with anyone. My husband and I are obsessed with emotional intelligence.
An INFP here. I think it took me a while to understand people around me without judgement. I realized that the discrepancies between how I see the world and how it actually is, became a source of colossal heartache for me. I am not sure if I can call myself emotionally intelligent yet but a year back, I felt like I lost a great deal of my compassion after going through some major trauma back in 2018. Pain after all, can make us incredibly entitled. But after abundant rumination, I realized I fell short on understanding the morals of those who were radically or slightly different than what my values qualified as. So, instead of mentally challenging and exhausting myself with the discrepancies that gave me burning feet, my agenda for life became all about seeking the understanding of why people do what they do instead of clinging onto the self limiting belief of how it 'should' be. And I can assure you that adopting morals of those around me has helped my overwhelming subjectivity and my emotional intelligence so much so that I am moved by people all the time. We all are similar in more ways than we are different.
You have really nice eyes. Also, I liked hearing your thoughts in this video.
I (INFP) broke up with my boyfriend (ENTJ) last night. Regardless of all the problems we've had in the relationship, I've realized that emotional intimacy and emotional intelligence was missing. Even after the break up my ex wasn't able to express what he was feeling or even understand those feelings. It was heartbreaking.
Clay,
I like your thoughtfulness in that you think. I am an infj, empathic male, guitar player song writer. It is good to run into people like you. We are rare. I deep think too. I hope to know men who can get past "What job do you do? I eat bacon too". My wife laughed when I said to her, "Too many men are relationally retarded". I enjoy your you tubes. Get you on the what I call Starbucks latte Christianity. No harm in wine. Good to know people like you are out there. Not a techie. Could not leave you an audio.
it seems fake when people don't feel
Excellent, excellent, excellent video.
So i am low EQ, what do i even do?
I discovered your channel a few weeks ago and I've been watching some of your videos, I really like them. English is not my first language so I might not be able to understand you 100% ... but you are very articulate and clear so I could learn many things from you. Thank you for sharing your ideas.
INFJ Christian here :) Been binging through your channel, I really like it. I think it’s ironic that Jesus was one of the most emotional people in the Bible, but us as Christians don’t usually acknowledge this. The behaviour you mention is true and probably comes from an evangelical POV (a whole other topic in itself). Nevertheless, I’m sorry you didn’t find emotional safety within the communities you were in. It definitely exists ❤
Not gonna lie bro the way you moving the first minute of the video ...
You have anxiety ?
You good =/
Great question and answer! Thanks :)
I think INFJs generally have both. Every INFJ I've met, myself included, has been very intelligent and very emotionally intelligent and empathetic too.
For me to have a close bond with someone, I need them to have both. We need to be able to have deep, intelligent conversations about ideas, concepts, and theories. But we also need to have that emotional connection where we can talk about and understand each other in an emotionally intimate way.
Been Trying To Process I Do Want To Learn & Grow However With Employers & I Feel Backed In The Corner Outbursts Also Having Outlook Always Tried To Be Happy Optimistic Silver Lining Until Destructive Exposure Therapy Which Only Triggers Abusive Targeted For 30 Years I Can Not Always Communicate Effectively How I Feel Or What I'm Going Through ADHD I Don't Believe I'm Better Than Anyone Else But Love The Way U Share In A Non Threatening Manner😁Thank U
oh yeah...I'm soooo familiar with that thing I like to call "bypassing"....or the "belief" that we should all "transcend" our less than perfectly happy emotions before we've even had a chance to examine what they're telling us. It's not that I don't believe it's possible to transcend certain so-called "negative" emotions (once processed appropriately) but I had a couple of family members who were in a "spiritual community" for many years, and I swear they either misunderstood the teaching in that community or the teaching itself was dysfunctional...I'll never know which, but I swear it's a very specific and real thing....It's as if, in an effort to be "spiritually evolved" they just invalidated all of the normal human emotions that didn't fall into the "positive" category...Not only did they go way out of their way to invalidate/bypass their own "negative emotions", but they often seemed to get a subtle but noticeable satisfaction out of being so good at bypassing them and also out of seeing others who actually expressed them, as if those people, contrasted with themselves, made them feel more "evolved".
I feel like there's an optimal point on the spectrum between 1: having no control over one's emotional reactions and 2: Having complete control over them to the point we refuse to allow them any space in our reality....and I believe that "optimal point" is actually very easy to find if you have just two very important ingredients: Self-acceptance and a commitment to Truth. The self-acceptance part is important because many of us allow our own fears of being imperfect get in the way of fully acknowledging the truth of how we feel. Defense mechanisms can get in the way...and unfortunately, self-acceptance/self-awareness seems to take time and work for most of us... and also courage to stand in that truth when our family..friends.. acquaintances...etc...may be a little less than supportive.
I've actually wondered, at great length, about that question of whether we can become so well-rounded that we become a "mix" of all of the personality characteristics we've seen as "useful" or "valuable". My hunch is that the answer is "yes"...but that our underlying personality may play a part in which strengths we value and therefore choose to develop. I used to think I was an INFP and it took me something like three years to realize that...no...I'm actually an INFJ...but with "learned" access to Fi and "some" Ne. Whenever I take an MBTi test I always come out very close to the center in all functions....but Se, I realized, is totally my weakest function and Ni is absolutely my "default". This was how I finally figured it out, but it took me a long time, and I still feel like I'm a bit of a "hybrid".
Thinking about how as we become healthier in our personality type, we might become more of a combination of personality types is an interesting concept. Perhaps at our core, we would still be Infj's .
I always had thought that, being emotional is just a mess of feelings although emotionally intelligent, your capable of separating things without mixing Et getting lost in it
(still watching.... Love the question tho....) just came to my mind...
Yeah. Towards the middle. Those who test the most borderline for the right reasons have a lot of potential really. Its good. Not wishy washy. Day two binge ha ah. Yeah im extremest sometimes. Im a pretty self centered infj but i do balance it with caring for others. In fact one of my monikers is care taker. Making peace in the family when warranted. Taking care of people in peace corp. rasing two kids. Caring for geriatric dad to end. And always the multiple critters. 6 dogs 4 cats 2 birds and two mares these days. Tested infj since a teen. My one function that wasnt borderline was the j/p. I was all but one J. These days i make a conscious desicion to be more P. Its helped because as my son said. My mom loves peace and quiet and cats…..tou cant have peace without the P. Oh a pun!
Church can be so toxic, spending your life living in quilt, shame and never enough and pay for the emotional damage. No thank you!
Hi Clay, I really like your video. You seem to be very insightful and a great observer. 👍
Not triangle not square but circle ⭕️. Well rounded. Almost an avatar the last airbender
Lol, I was just about to say, does an infj mean you are all the bad things people say infjs are....like what if an infj wasnt all the bad things and just the good things then would it still be an infj?
He had no problem doing everything else to Me but what I asked for no emotions involved way past that stage
A lot of people don’t want deep relationships or can’t have them. Sometimes not even family.
Love Clay!!! I have noticed that lots of successful people in their careers suffer from low IQ and to some degree they are really closed off emotionally.
Uhum
I can explain that easy...a we feel like xyz and did want anyone to know I am ... Reading.. writing badly.. spilling explain what's my doctor appropriately I reverse latter's.. anor I don't pronounce the end of the anyway Casper told me stop explaining myself to people .
🤗❣🔥Hope you have a lovely New Year. Always listening. 😉
I really liked the topic and your explanation. Totally agree! I was in relationship with low EQ person and I agree. I was forced to feel nothing or feel good, the connection was very weak, no possibility to talk about problems. This was the time I discovered I'm INFJ. Now, 3 years later I did some inner work, focused on defining my emotions and I started to question if I'm still INFJ. Thank you Clay for such valuable video!
Interesting.. I feel others, I know myself but there are times that I observe there is something going on with myself before I realize what it is. It usually has to do with my mother’s death. For example I will be busy and realize there’s something wrong and it may take a little while and I’ll realize it’s her birthday, around the time she died or Mother’s Day. She committed suicide.. I used to prepare myself more. But I’ve moved passed this in many ways but still I mourn her and not always know when I’m mourning her. At least not right away. So these particular feelings It is difficult for me to identify them. Although I can ready myself.
O don't know what I am! I seem to fit into a few types but then there is always something described in each trait that I say ' that's definatly not me' I think there is a 17th type - Me
Haha well there’s an online test you can take on 16Personalities.com that might help you find out your type! :)
@@aditi1729 Thank you
INFJs love to listen to people speak
the last couple of minutes, so true
I'm interested in the topic of childhood emotional neglect. Would be interesting to hear what you have to say about it. Dr. Jonice Webb who you can find on youtube wrote a book about it, that I bought and read, but I didn't find much insight into it. I appreciated that she brought awareness into it though, but I haven't heard much talk about the topic afterward.
I deeply crave( due to my personality) and fear (due to my childhood) emotional intimacy so I'm torn apart. The fear has been too strong and as a consequence, I've lived a very lonely life.
What kind of neglect are we talking about?
@@ClayArnall Childhood emotional neglect :
ua-cam.com/video/O4OV3Q1Sd3w/v-deo.html&ab_channel=Dr.JoniceWebb
www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/childhood-emotional-neglect#effects-in-adulthood
this one is pretty good too: ua-cam.com/video/FwtC3HUpfgs/v-deo.html&ab_channel=DaniFoxx
I find this topic very interesting. Not long ago when I was in a really bad place (I think around five years ago) I started to picked up a book called Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, I slowly began to understand and develop my EQ. I suppose we're as society tend to put/praise IQ first, even when we were kids at school. Not any of my teachers would talk about how important EQ is. This is probably something we need to develop from a younger age, especially at school.
Anyway, thank you so much for your content Clay. I do really enjoy long discussion like this. Keep it up 👍❤️
Great video Clay! Can you give more examples from your experience on how you got better at knowing yourself? I've been struggling lately with making the "right" decision and knowing what my "feelings" are in order to make the "right" decision - the inner pain of not knowing is the worst...
I also struggle with being indecisive. I used to be worse. I actively practice making decisions in an attempt to work on it. If somebody gives me two options, or asks me where I want to go for dinner, or anything like that, I will try my best to make fast decisions on the spot and just pick one. Sounds so simple, but it's a great thing to practice.
Clay Arnall Thank you for your amazingly insightful videos! I recently found your channel so I’ve only listened to a few so far.
I got sad from what you said about Christians :(... & I’m sorry you’ve got such bad experiences from the Christians you’ve met or heard of.
My experience is that we’re no different than others - I’m not! I get depressed, angry & tired of a lot of shit that’s going on & I’m really tired of Christians who behave as they’re always happy! We’ve got the same problems as everyone else! We can pray, but that doesn’t mean that the problems will go away! Some Christians are fake
- there are Narcissists amongst Christians also (I grew up with one) & that might be hard to understand, but just like I wrote - we go through the same problems, sicknesses - both physical & mental ones just like other people! & why pinpoint Christians? Christianity is the only religion that is not based on your own achievements etc! We’ve been offered a gift! There’s nothing you can do yourself! You just have to accept the gift that Jesus gave you! Every other religion is based on what you do, if your good enough. No one is good enough, but everyone is offered this gift of forgiveness in Christianity & you just have to receive that gift because Jesus is the only one who’s good & He died for everyone’s sins. Gods grace is new every morning & He only wants you to love Him above all others & your fellow human beings as you love yourself! God let His only Son die for you & me & for everyone! You’re already forgiven! You just have to invite Jesus into your life & receive Him & His gift! God is Love ❤️
Clay, I just wanted to say, I am a believer in Jesus Christ, but I've noticed and am probably equally as bothered as you by the over pressing of smiling all the time and being happy in the church. It's actually fed into a lot of my problems with anxiety and depression, I would avoid going to church even though I wanted to worship God because I didn't want to put myself in a position where I would be met with that kind of reaction to anything negative. In fact, I very rarely would open up about anything negative in my life and would only talk to the people about my life when I had something positive to share. I totally believe that God gives us inner peace and joy in the midst of adversity and struggles, but that is not the same thing as pushing false positivity on someone in the name of God. If we read the book of Job we will know this. Or the book of psalms. Or, ahem, the book of lamentations. I mean, cmonnnnnnnnn. Anywho, really enjoying your channel. ❤
I feel less crazy, i can relate to a lot of what you share.
❤️ INFJ-T
I had someone who convinced me growingup to not openup unless I had something 'amazing' to express....like you just described it. No one wanted to hear (depth) my feelings.They "sshhhhh" me alot. Now as an adult they seem to be trying to frame me to appear as the one who lacks EQ. Hiding their lack of empathy all those years as they turn everyone against me😭
My question is what kind of professional is best to heal a past childhood of being agitated, bullied, silenced?
Hey Clay don’t hold back about the religious experience I relate and it’s ok to bring things out in the light so we can understand ourselves 🌟
If you're a INFJ, I am definitely a INFJ too. Amazing content!
I really liked this video!
What you mentioned at the end about how important MBTI is and coming toward the middle is also something I’ve thought about a lot. I think MBTI might be more valuable for people who are struggling with personality, relationship, or mental-health related issues and are seeking further insight to help them solve problems when other types of diagnostics have failed (e.g. mental illness screenings, etc.). Finding out I was INFJ made me more aware of my weaknesses and helped me understand why certain problems seem to follow me around in life. Now, I’m consciously working on strengthening those weak cognitive functions and not falling prey to them. I have a very clearly defined INFJ hierarchy of functions, though-I rely very heavily on Ni, Fe, and Ti, and my Se and shadow functions are very low. But some other people in my life are more balanced (in terms of function use) and don’t struggle with as many issues as I do, so MBTI is less valuable for them. I have a friend whose outlook is to use the tools that work and leave behind the rest, and I feel like that’s very applicable for MBTI.
Yes I do believe that it is harder for people with healthier mindsets and personalities probably do have a harder time spotting a partner that is similar in that way ...because there are so many people, like people with narcissism for instance, that develop skills for pretending so well like they have positive mindsets, and those might stand out more because they do emphasize their good person qualities a lot. It’s hard to the difference sometimes except for when your intuition strongly makes you feel like there’s just something much needed that’s ( missing) . Hard thing to explain to that person though....
OMG ! I've been thinking exactly the same that maybe the goal of our life is to become so well rounded that its difficult for people to really tell what personality are we :) I can't believe how sometimes you freak me with the amount of similarities you have with me although I'm an INFP. nowadays working to come out of my head and become more J-ish :)
Absolutely love your videos !
dude im a infp with low emotional intelligence. i care and understand people so much that i let them push me over. I basically forgot to care about myself. Definitely working on setting boundaries and standing up for myself
Love this! Very insightful. You keep nailing every topic and it is extremely helpful. I would LOVE to watch a video of how people with low EQ can increase their EQ and how to provide emotional support to a partner (in examples). I find that this is one main common denominator in most of my relationships, where the person just simply does not know how to provide emotional support.
I really do have the same questions and thoughts that you mentionned at the end of your video 🤔
In fact i feel like a mix between the good sides of many personalities and i'm not saying this in any selfish way but i just always wonder about that possibility because this confuses me and i would really love to hear your thoughts about it ( finally someone mentionned this i'm so glad i was'nt not the only one 😌)
Ps: i love your videos and your logic of thinking keep working we appriciate you .
All the love from an INFP 💙
Loved it
Great video learned a lot. As an infj the very last 30 seconds was fascinating and I was like " talk more about the dude" I guess that's where our deepness shows up. Took away a lot of really good tips
I am an Ambivert ENFJ-A your last question was really interesting I have worked on myself for the last 2 years and what I have learned and understand its like when you become an healthy type you actually become in peace with yourself and your surounding, abviously you wont be able to be or act like other type as you are devlopping your own strenght you are then becoming more flexible.
Is EI a common INFJ character trait? In your opinion. Is EI a natural skill/talent or is it learned behavior?
I actually answer this question in the last few minutes of the video if you haven’t made it quite that far yet.
I think most people know how to get in touch but do not know what do they get in touch with. We end up with all sorts of unpleasant surprises: toxic relationships, coward contracts, codependency, and so on. In most cases, there is no way to discuss relationships because even socially active people do not know what relationships are.
I really enjoy your videos Clay. Thank you so much for explaining all this. It has truly helped me understand myself.
Really enjoyed this topic. And I agree I think evolving is what you related to at the very end. Your "theory" that you're still working out in your head. Thanks!
❤️
I think you're right. Healthy people are a blend of all
I fine people liked to take a set on me man and woman they hit on to much women gay lesbian woman does that.
I have to say, I really enjoy your videos. Listening to you, I feel a little less alone.
Wow didn't know you made videos every week..?
I 💜 this guy Greetings from UK
your videos are always a good use of time
Great as always 🙏❤
Hello, Clayton! I've been watching your videos for months now and I really love how deep you go into things and explore their various sides.You communicate your views in very soft calm manner which is a great quality to me. You do have the traits for a very good therapist if you ask me and you can be better than many of those I know should you decide to become a coach for example and your videos help see certain things from new interesting perspectives :) I'm exploring the birth charts of INFJs and I was wondering if you'd mind sharing yours? I'm an INFJ myself, not from the most developed ones, though :D I strongly believe that all systems for self-exploration are linked and I like diving into them and figuring out the connections, so I'd be very happy if you choose to help me with my little exercise.
I don’t know what a birth chart is to be honest so I’m not sure I have one to share.
@@ClayArnall The birth chart is an astrological term meaning a wheel divided in 12 segments where all existing planets, the Sun and the Moon included, fall into one of 12 zodiac signs and form angles and figures together depending on your date, hour and place of birth. This is not your mainstream astrology where they tell you how your day or week, or year will go if you're a Libra for example, but a very detailed personal horoscope which can help people understand themselves better and find out where their core conflicts lie as well as providing them with possible solutions. It's a lot like MBTI, but really more personal. So I want to explore the correlation between the type and what I find in the charts of INFJs. I already have the charts of a couple of real life friends, but as you know we aren't that easy to find each other offline. It's more of a luck :)
Instant subscribe bro. Several heavy truths in this one.