I think thats the social part...its a hit or miss as intelligence is more complex than a simply "Intelligent at everything" the video says it itself really.
This comment section is what I needed to read. Now I am going to look into wisdom. I should know when and how to apply it otherwise I will stay in this cycle of trial and error with friends, family, mental stability, unfulfilled passions and so on
My brother and I were bored at school. They teachers said we had learning disabilities. We were taken to mental specialists of some sort and were given IQ tests. We were both way above average. The specialist said we were just under stimulated by school. We both ended up being scientists in different fields.
This statement is true, and actually quite understated. Technically yes, more than half, but one could easily say more than 85%. Mensa, the lowest tier high IQ society starts accepting only at the top 2% of IQs on the planet. 98% of all humanity fails to qualify. Yet that 98% feels qualified to comment on the struggles of having a high IQ. It is quite the funny predicament. I am working from the SD15 scale. To me personally, you are not "high IQ" unless you are at least 1 SD above the average, which would be 130. Anything between that and 115 is just "above average." Working with that scale and that definition, less than 3% of people commenting are likely to qualify to speak on the subject.
Some downsides of intelligence may be the tendency to overthink, people getting annoyed when you casually correct them in conversation, and prioritising thinking over feeling.
So true, because with a high IQ you have the ability to think in a broader range = overthinking. Leads to anxiety. Leads to depression. I hate if that happens. Takes forever to heal.
When I was in the 3rd grade my teacher told my parents that I had a learning disability. My parents took me to a psychologist that put me through tests. Turned out I had an IQ of 152, and my teacher just didn't know how to respond to me. I had/have trouble making new friends, and still have some issues in social situations. I tend to cope by trying to put myself on the same mental level of the person I'm talking to. It can be exhausting, so I tend not to "people" often.
@@holymeto9981 do you feel intelligent? Or do you constantly question your own intelligence? Like, when you're alone all day in your element, do you do or think things that make you think "You know, they could have gotten it wrong, and I actually could have a low IQ and not know it." Asking because I've been questioning my own intelligence and I'm not sure if I'm intelligent enough to achieve my goals. What if I'm an idiot with unrealistic dreams and I'm picking at a locked door.
I’ve found that the expectations that are intrinsically associated with intelligent people usually manifest as perceptions of competency, high executive function, and being the most effective person in the room (depending on the room). But people are people, and as soon as you consider that people have mental disorders, it can cause those big gaps between expectation and reality
I have a higher IQ, but also am on the autism spectrum and have dyslexia, I struggle with executive function and often do just completely derpy, dumb things when solving problems if I'm not fully paying attention. If I get stressed from the environment around me, my ability to solve problems goes down immensely, which throws people off when they see me fix/do things they would never have thought of then fail horribly when trying to solve someone else's problem with other people around me (I used to work at a factory, 0/10 do not recommend) Now I run my own gourmet mushroom business by myself, and I couldn't be happier
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
Yes, Doctor Greg Mushrooms he is a great man of God who has the great insight on psychedelic and mushroom. He will guide you on how to use mushrooms to get good trip.
There were a few things I had hoped to hear about: - during childhood development high IQ is correlated with low emotional/social skills (though they do catch up in adulthood) - nihilism - the better you understand how the world works (atheism, moral relativism, illusion of free will), the more difficult it is to find "meaning" in life - decision paralysis - this one often strongly counters the "arrogant know-it-all" aspect of a high-IQ personality - being aware of the complexities of factors that influence the future and distrust of intuitions may make it difficult to decide on an optimal action - loneliness - the stunted EQ and irritability with "dumb people" lead to a significantly smaller social circle
First EQ does not exist, the data on that is clear, you might be playing language games, if you could clarify, do not hesitate. Second nihilism is a factor of losing a fundamental axiom, also to let go of responsibility, nothing to do with intelligence. Decision paralysis is about not being articulate, nothing to do with intelligence, if you mean sceptical to accepting ideas, it's possible intelligent people do that, although it not simply obvious how or why. Loneliness is about either being ugly (which is pretty rare), being annoying, not articulating your ideas to the right people, or not being properly socialised by the age of 4, having too high expectations, nothing to do with intelligence.
I’m not going to claim I have super high intellect but I definitely can relate to most of these to some degree. The last two years of college have been pretty stressful as I can’t just waltz my way through it just like I did with high school. It doesn’t help that a lot of the things I’ve been assigned are very time consuming, and it’s really hard to manage time with my ADHD. Ironically I’m procrastinating on a project I have to get done just by watching this. Due to this, I’ve been struggling to get As and Bs in classes that should be easy for me; which has dealt quite a blow to my ego. I hope everyone out there struggling with academics try their hardest and keep focused on the tasks ahead of them!
Same except that it is my third year of college/university, I don’t have ADHD and I don’t even know how tough the classes truly are vs how dumb I am at this point. And failing like this kills any motivation I had left as I think to myself that there is no point in trying anymore so I have sort of given up. But I can’t even get my mind off of what I am supposed to be doing too much, which leads into me continuing to cry and criticise myself about it. I dread even going to bed and waking up at this point as I know I will have to go to school again and attempt to understand something that I will probably forget after leaving the class even if I somehow do anyway (which was never an issue before…) while praying the teachers don’t ask me anything. Me. Having to hide from teachers. What an absolute embarrassment. To be fair I used to hate regular school too but at least then I had standards, it is a million times worse when you are failing it and people tell you how you are “wasting your potential” and “not trying hard enough” as the video mentions as well. Christ, I have 0 energy or motivation at this point as I said and I think I am just too dumb and my potential is long gone either way. I keep forgetting things that I used to know, sometimes I can’t even understand a Wikipedia article or have to reread it because I got stuff mixed up or whatever, what potential are you talking about? I tend to believe the good one was a different me tbh, I don’t even know what happened. Sidenote:My university classes start in 6 and a half hours so I should probably sleep now…
Iconic 777: That's a very honest reply to this video, and you're brave to have made it. I can relate to your experiences at college. Keep on keeping on! Life is long when you're young so have good effective self-care strategies in place and make sure you use them. (Then hopefully you'll be in good enough shape mentally to enjoy your later years...) ❤️ K
1)Mental and emotional disorders Over analysis Hyper awareness 2)Stress 3) social burden Burn outs 4) negative expression High iq lacks in one place when high in another 5) self esteem rely on others eyes too much
To add to this, it's often difficult to interact with people that don't act/think logically or predictable. It's hard to accept illogical decisions, so working for someone and just accepting slow or impractical methods is rather difficult.
I used to be depressed af at school because i'd get punished for not doing my homework and studies yet I always got 100% without them. On my final year a teacher always ignored me but a student asked why I did not have to do my homeworks while his friend had to do it right here right now. The teacher made me happy since their answer was pretty simple and straightforward but also something I'd have liked to hear long ago, "It is an exercise to help better grades, your friend may need better grades but 'Tom' does not so I do not need to ask more of them. It is unfair but that is how I see things." And I recall he was not liked as a teacher yet he was a nice person and they helped me a bit stay at school when all I wanted was to be done with it and go do something else.
It may be because they teach differently. I also had a few teacher that everybody hated/loved, but me i was just meh, if not against the others opinions. To make someone intelligent satisfied, you need to put him hard works. Else he just won't listen anything, because it won't change anything anyway. Meanwhile, the others need average work. Not too easy, so that they still work, but also not too hard, because then everybody will fail your class. So when a teacher help smarts students, it usually penalize average students, while greatly advantaging smart students.
I think ur teacher is amazing, i like the way he thinks, and i believe that homework r for Strengthening students' abilities, not just to be done like most people sees it
Tf same, i remember i was jst staring at the wall at the math class, and in the exams i be getting the fist mark at the class 20/20 lol, and i was like this is stupid how could ppl not get good marks, the exams were easy asf, i mean to me maybe? Idk
One of the best decisions I ever made was to shift away from valuing myself based on my achievement and intelligence. Instead, I've chosen to measure my worth based on how much effort I put towards living with integrity and kindness. I don't always succeed, but by placing the value in working towards those goals and rectifying mistakes, I find myself being kinder not just to others, but myself. Compulsive, self-injurous thoughts still occur, but not as frequently and not as strongly. Compassion is a skill that is not dependant on intellect, beauty, athletic ability, or anything time may erase. I hope my epitaph says I was kind. I hope that's how I'm remembered.
I agree. A couple of years ago i found on Instagram a post that asked if you rather have a stupid child or an evil One. It was a tought choice at First since i didn't want my child to be smart but use it to be mean, not i wanted him to be stupid and living and hard Life. But eventually i realized that out of those 2 i would rather have him stupid, because of the simplex fact that it's not a fault. While being Wicked It Is.
I think being regular or playing dumb and actually being smart is intelligent. You're the underrated character and you haven't shown all your cards yet. You don't need to show off your strengths right away
That's because you are not an intellect. This is an impossible proposition for many of us. You are demonstrating one of the reasons we tend to isolate. How can you make a supposition with a lack of expertise in psychology or the capacity to comprehend something without a reference point? Do you believe Hunter S Thompson, Christopher Hitchens, N. Tesla, or Howard Hughes would be capable of doing such a thing? This demonstrates the disconnect that affirms what we fear- never being understood. It's neither person's fault. This is how it is. Nothing is owed here, but it's real easy to have bouts with the victim mentality. Helplessness comes for the futurists. For those that can accurately predict global changes, they'll never be taken seriously by most. Perhaps that's why the prophet Jeremiah was always lamenting. Ray Kurzweil to Christ have dealt with this very frustration. And yes, if you are reading this now, you'll almost certainly be dead in 10 years. Buckle up.
I struggled in school and they thought I might be learning disabled. They took me for testing and a series of IQ tests put me at 130+. My parents were encouraged to skip me several grades and consider pre-college courses but they worried I would become socially awkward so they kept me where I was and actually held me back when I failed a grade do to lack of effort on my part. Long story short, I was never able to deal with most of my peers because their interests annoyed me and we couldn't have good conversations; they didn't grasp anything I cared about, only catching up to me in our late teens and early 20s. By then academic frustration turned to apathy. Now I'm a truck driver who reads a lot of philosophy. I don't do any thinking and I'm happier that way. The sciences that were once passions in my childhood are now just hobbies.
I think burn-out is the scariest thing as someone with "high intelligence". Growing up, I never tried in school, hell, I didn't HAVE to try to get good grades or test scores. I could be absent from school for a whole week and still place first in class. I didn't study- I didn't know how to, actually. But, after COVID, I fell into depression, and school became... Difficult. It was weird. It was terrifying. I felt so stupid. Ironically, my depression caused me to feel stupid, and feeling stupid just made me more depressed. It was an endless cycle. After 2 years of that, I learned to try. I learned how to put effort and I learned how to study (regretfully, I'm still trying to integrate it into my life). The expectations are just as scary though. Everyone just expects you to get it right, and when you don't, they scream and yell at you for getting a 70%.
Don’t tolerate people yelling at you over anything. Generally, no matter how wrong you are, the other person is more wrong for yelling at you about it. As long as you aren’t endangering or abusing anyone, there’s no excuse for anyone to be disrespectful towards you. If they think that’s okay, then you need to redefine the terms of your relationship. The first step is not accepting their abuse.
I struggled with the perfectionist aspect for years, to the point of not doing anything due to constantly trying to perfect a design or idea right out of the gate. Growing up, it was always "do your best", and an expectation of first time perfection. The greatest lesson I've learned in my adult life is now "Don't let great be the enemy of good". I don't even remember where I first heard that, but initially I dismissed it as an excuse to turn out half assed results. The more I worked it around in my mind, though, the more I understood that producing something adequate to build off of later is much better than something absolutely perfect but way too late.
I'm still learning to not pass on a good opportunity while waiting for a perfect one. In people, things, events. I always try to make things perfect, but I realized it doesn't make me fulfilled or happy if I get my way 100%
Bro, I had never felt so identified about perfectionism, every time I did not do my best I thought that I was being mediocre, but in reality it was a good result. It makes you treat yourself very unfairly when you really need to reward yourself, to keep a good mental.
I've said for years, I carry the curse of perfectionism. People say I often overthink things and I am my worst critic, always quoting, "nobody can do it any better than yourself." I expect 110% out of myself and sadly, the same of others. Mind you, a lot of my work is quite outstanding although I think it can always be better. Do I think I'm perfect? Heck, far from it.
When I was growing up, I always hated the double standard against intelligent kids. Kids who were physically faster and stronger than the rest were praised and encouraged, but kids who were smarter could not celebrate their intelligence. We always had to worry about the feelings of the same dunces who bullied us when the teachers were not looking. Back in the day, the kid who could not 'get along' was always at fault. When a fight broke out, they always took the side of the kid who was crying. Parents were often bigger monsters than their kids.
It's been decades for me, but I couldn't agree more strongly with the unfair asymmetry in this sentiment. Like my feelings weren't a little hurt that asthma robbed me of running endurance.... I adapted: if ever somebody doesn't get something, I would explain how I got it wrong the same way before (even if I didn't struggle) to build rapport and diffuse any inadequacy vibes. That went really far in college, and in a previous job where I had a scientific leadership role. Meanwhile, I'm excited to talk to humble intelligent folk - especially those who can top me - without ever feeling inadequate myself. Truly excellent genius is impressive!
My favorite for me was, well you have it easy because you are smart so your just being lazy. My mom and teachers hated me in school because I would ace tests and wouldnt do homework, teachers would literally change the scoring of homework and tests so homework was worth more than tests in the middle of the semester to show me a lesson. This lowering my grades and turned into heavy mental abuse at home. Highschool sucked so much, being talked down too at home and school for 4 years really messes with you.
I got cursed with both the brains and the brawn. I threw off the curve and everyone knew it. Then when it came to sports I never was all that interested. So I was the target for both groups. The Napoleon complex guys try to go after the literally largest guy in the room with insufficient brains. In addition to the jocks being nervous and my disruption to their status in brawn.
The hardest thing for me at least is when you are intelligent or skilled enough to get just about everything right you don't really know how to handle it at all when something goes wrong even a little bit.
I scored 136 when I was younger and both my parents were very intelligent. However, my parents were also extremely dysfunctional which left me severely traumatized and unable to function normally. I think my awareness and sensitivity made it worse because my parents burdened me with their problems starting at a very young age. They conditioned me to accept their stress and anxiety without complaint or objection. So in my case it was a curse which left me with a lifetime of pain and misery due to childhood abuse. I never really accomplished much in my life. I sabotaged school and every job and every relationship. Only until recently, after getting into therapy and learning to process my unresolved trauma, did I finally finish my degree in physics. I still continue therapy and I am getting better a little at a time. I still work as a security guard even though I have my degree because i get to work alone most of the time and that brings me peace. At some point I hope to work as an engineer which would be a lot more fulfilling.
im 52 now, i dropped out of school at a very young age and drifted through life living homeless, devoid of family and through an endless string of disfunctional interpersonal relationships, im at the point now where i just hate waking up everyday, i honestly feel like i have no place in this world.. a lot of the people i was friends with growing up are all dead now from drug overdoses and other forms of antisocial misadaventure.. amonsgt my peers im like the last man standing and it truly feels like some kind of divine punishment yeah
I’m so sorry what happened to u. I can totally relate to this, intelligence and emotional sensitivity are just two different things and pp need both of them😢
I’m almost in the exact same boat. My parents gave me a beating sometimes multiple a day everyday for 7 years straight and w a near photographic memory… But have dedicated years to learning bout psychology that’s specific to my mental make up and how every aspect of each of my trauma had affected me wether that’s my subconscious behavior or how it’s changed my active thoughts. It has helped tremendously even tho I’m still currently struggling as a 20 yr old that dropped out of HS. My point is try psych help urself. Normal therapy barely helps as barely anybody understands my situation
@Alex Ren I found a therapist that specializes in childhood abuse and trauma. There is a technique developed by an Olympic coach called "brainspotting" that is based on how our eye sight is connected to primal areas of our brain that are responsible for flight or fight instincts. Sort of like the saying that our eyes are the window to our soul. The idea sounds like snake oil and I was highly skeptical at first, but after one session I immediately felt like I was stoned on Marijuana. Like a very legit high, yet I hadn't smoked pot in over a decade. The effect was like allowing my brain to finally relax and shift out of high gear into neutral. By far one of the most profound experiences I have had in my life. Try to find a therapist who specializes in trauma and brainspotting. Might take awhile to find the right therapist but don't give up. I wish I had a succesful therapy experience in my 20's. I tried a couple times in my 20's and 30's and the therapist were either incompetent and/or inexperienced. Unfortunately for me I suffered a long time before getting the help I needed at 50. Don't wait that long because you can save yourself from many years of unnecessary pain and suffering. Therapy is not a magic pill but it had helped me immensely once I found the right therapist to begin processing my unresolved trauma.
Timestamps 1). Mental and emotional disorders 0:29 2). Stress 2:21 3). Social burden 3:18 4). Negative impressions 4:34 5). Self-esteem tied to their intelligence 5:14 Hope this helps you out.💙💙💙💙 Edit- I am famous!!!
İ feel like the saddest part of being highly intelligent is the fact that you’ll barely meet anyone that understands your complex thinking, why you are critical about everything or your deep emotions. You’ll probably hide your intelligence and play dumb in order to have some people to talk to or you’ll be authentic and suffer loneliness.
I've grown up and still am in a relatively intelligent community, so I may not have to suffer so much as to hide my intelligence. But it's quite sad that it's very hard to find people who can understand the complexity of your thinking.
If you join a High IQ society, you'll spiral further into depression as you'll then learn that these issues aren't really related to cognitive ability. Plenty of High IQ people don't use their brains. The only thing we have in common is our cognitive ability, that doesn't mean we all nurtured it or use it and we definitely don't all think the same...... but you may find your tribe within the tribe
This video hits so hard. I have always been highly intelligent, but it does come with huge flaws in my case. I tend to set such high standards for myself, which certainly lead to my depression and anxiety. When I slip up even a little bit, I beat myself up for it (like, *literally* at one point). What's worse is that people around me (like my parents) have high expectations of me as well, so I cannot mess up without getting yelled at or feeling extremely bad. You know what hurts the most, though? I participate in hobbies that not many people are particularly interested in (where I live, anyway). A lot of the activities and hobbies I like are foreign and not popular in the USA. This makes socializing difficult, ESPECIALLY when I try to get into a romantic relationship. It is way too hard for me to find a girlfriend, here. If anyone reads this, please do not raise the bar so high so quickly. Take your time to improve and don't trash on yourself for messing up. You'll be a LOT happier this way, trust me.
Socializing will be difficult anyway. The only country with mostly intelligent people is Italy, but your education would not be enough for them so... You should know that some girls have smart heart. Idk how to name that better. If you find a girl curious enough to be interested in your stuff, with wise heart, you'll be happy. And don't let her go if you get a bit tired of her intelligent dumbness. Just make some space for yourself. I was smart enough to get one girl, a chef, who was like that. Broke up with her after a year. I miss her. And after 30 hobbies and science get not that cool as you need to make some money off of em.
The hardest part for me is realizing that I'm on a different wavelength from the average person. That means not only intelligence, but also awareness of the world, myself, and my place in it. It just makes it hard to click with people who give me blank stares or limited feedback. I'm ok now with having a small social circle, but it was tough when I was younger. I am very thankful for meeting a smart, introspective woman who gets me. Never be embarrassed of who you are and just keep searching for your significant other. ✌️
I notice things way before anyone else, process it, and move on to something else. By the time other people notice and mention said thing, I have all but forgotten it and then get treated like I'm stupid for not being concerned with the thing everyone else is concerned about.
The education system isn't designed to encourage or harness true intelligence. It's designed to produce the next batch of obedient slaves who do as they are told and without question.
True but it also serves to isolate us from the general populace but be thankful something is in place today. There was nothing in place for me growing up in the rural south in the 50's and 60's.
I've been together with a hi intelligent man for 20 years now and we struggle a lot with all these situations. Mental health is a mess, emotions are a mess. He can explain and predict situations like no one, and it is just awesome, but sometimes it is like dealing with a special needs child. For us, give a chance for alternative paths in life is working better than trying to fit in. Not easy at all, but...
Hes probably an empath, and taking on everyones energy. Reiki therapy helped me greatly. I was a military air traffic controller for 10 years and took on everyones energy, then took it out on my wife and kids.
Thank you for the insights, guys! We've been thinking about autism, but as I work with autistic children and my last boyfriend is in the spectrum, I don't think it is the case now, according to many tests and observations. His psychiatrist agrees he is between bipolar and ocd (very soft symptoms), but anxiety is the main problem now. The hi intelligence causes a non stoppable thinking and planning, making hard taking practical decisions. I'm definitely going to look for Reiki, he has benefited himself from it before. And, of course medicine and therapy again.
“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.” - Nelson Mandela
My biggest problem is that I have been paired with multiple therapists to try and tackle my mental issues but I am a highly self aware person and usually I self analyze to the point that I just confuse every therapist I interact with. Like I can take a look at my past and pick apart how that may be affecting my current psyche and then explain that to my therapists and they often just end up agreeing and congratulating me on my self awareness but that doesn't fix my mental state and I'm not sure anything ever really will. It's hard to feel like I'm making any sort of progress towards happiness when it seems even professionals are not capable of understanding me. And that's not even a "hey look how smart I am" flex type thing but just how I can best describe my experience.
only you can fix your mental state. Therapists only exist to help you talk through things so you understand them. They are not magic and certainly won't ever help you find happiness or contentment. If what you are doing is not working, change what you are doing. There are tons of actually useful books written by brilliant people that might help far more than talking to a therapist.
Christ on a donkey, this is me right now. I've been through so many therapists, it's not even funny. During the first session with every single one of them, the question of why I am there comes up. My answer is the same. "I am fully aware that my emotional instability is affecting my ability to function on a day-to-day basis. I am fully aware that I must seek help for this. I know that my toolbox for dealing with my emotional state is pretty empty. I just don't know where to start looking for the right tools." And every single time, I get the most confused look from them. It's like they are saying to themselves, "Well, what am I supposed to do with you? You've already done most of my job for yourself!" It is a VERY frustrating situation to be in.
Maybe practicing consistent meditation could help you on reaching a stable psyche. Maybe there are more things to you than you are conscious of, for instance you could analyze yourself more if you acces your deeper conscience. Remembering dreams or lucid dreaming may come handy so you can reorder your subconscious chaos. If you are into more taboo things, pyschedelic mushrooms may show you that which you struggle with in a deep way not seen or thought before. Also talking with people you will normally not talk to, can give a different sort of insight from your usual social circle. End day message is that one is and must be his own guide, his own coach, his own therapist. After your own self aware analysisis, act out in the world your answers and not just reanalize for a better answer or option, stick to your decission or you will remain trying to pick the best indefinetely and not getting done anything for yourself. Remember "fortune favors the bold", dont let a good array of words in form of excuses trap you, dont let well thought language destroy your innerself whom is much more. Best of wishes in your progress,
@@mateoparrado7668 I can appreciate your insight, however a person can only self-analyze so much. A person may at that point desire an outside perspective. For those who seek an outside perspective, no amount of self-reflection will give them what they are looking for. This is what therapists do. They are a (supposedly) neutral party who can listen and give insight into what a person says they are feeling.
Always remember that intelligence and Wisdom are VERY different things! I came up with a saying when I was younger that I still live by: "Intelligence is knowing how to make the fire and Wisdom is the foresight not to touch it." ~ Me circa 2012 at age 11
Despite how nice, humble I try to be with people, my intelligence and moral standing still intimidates people and makes them very critical of me. Even my own family kinda puts me in a category of my own.
@@Psych2go I can't always have conversations with them (like girls) without them losing interest, acting shady, defensive, or pulling away and we can be talking about regular stuff, nothing controversial. Also when I try to have good conversation with guys who are interested in me, they seem to not have much feedback or much to put into the conversation. My family always makes jokes about how my kids will be geniuses and whatnot, and I'm an oddball. If I make a mistake, it shocks people. Even if I show vulnerability or my raw side, it makes people uncomfortable many times or they're surprised. It's like I'm suppose to be a perfect robot. So along with my sweet/passionate side, people see my stoic side as well. I rarely meet people I can have a conducive conversation or connection with. Usually if I do it's with a much older person like an older man (15-20+); they don't fully understand me but seem to get it more than most others and seem more at my level if you will. I've been told I think differently a lot. Even when I was a teen, the adults in my old church were surprised by my intellect (to God be the Glory).
I know right 🥺, this statement just got me. I recently broke down, I just don't know how to get back up. Even though I look fine on the outside I wish someone really knew.
I've given the Mensa sample test and got a rough estimate of IQ 135. I had trouble forming friendships when I was a kid, but now that I'm older I've found a solution to Foster great relationships. It's honesty and authenticity, right from the very first day you meet them. If I date to marry and not just for a fling, I would say it out loud. It has worked so far, but who knows what the future will bring?
I got 129 in my test as a child. As an adult I find it easier to avoid interactions with other people as I find stupidity is the norm in the general public & this makes me extremely angry. I have very few friends & that's fine for me. Quality, not quantity is best. I don't need lots of people around me to validate myself. I find it difficult to interact with idiots, so I don't bother. I'm happy now. I wasn't when I was a child when interaction & acceptance was what appeared to be important. When I have no option but to interact with people, I remind myself that half of the people you will meet in your life are below average inteligence. Therefore they are blind & unable to understand why they are the way they are. So I bite my lip rather to avoid engaging with them. Works for me.
I really don't think general intelligence tests can be accurate even as a sort of bench mark. Intelligence shows itself in practice more than anything. You can teach a guy with less than average intelligence how to score well on tests, but you can't teach them how to have more aptitude.
I joined Mensa in two of the places I've lived in my life. The gatherings were always a little weird. After seeing this video I can't help but wonder if it was because of all the low EQ gathered in the room ;)
It's not easy to find a therapist who can work with a highly intelligent person. It took me five or so therapists over 25 years, but I finally found one who can see right through me. I feel so lucky now.
This video practically sums up my life. Since the start of my puberty (today I'm 18) I have asked myself if my intelligence is a gift or curse. People often say to me that they would like to be that smart but I am even more jealous of being treated nicely instead of being pushed from society just because I am smart. I know that I am definitely not perfect and the problem could be in how I act, but after all those years it don't seem to me that I would be such a bad person. Anyway, I am not the type of person to write in comments on yt videos but this one took me personally, so big thanks for what you're doing Psych2go.
People often want what they do not have and if they would get it, they would find out it is not just a gift but has its negative aspects too. Same for you wanting to be not as smart and being more part of the society. At first you would enjoy the positives, then you would feel bad for being dumb and want to return to high intelligence again. The way is to accept who you are and work on yourself to understand the differences in people is what makes everyone of us unique and function as a society. Also I can relate to your situation and I am going trough a similar path. Be proud of who you are, do not let others diminish your worth.
I don't "suffer" with mental illness I embrace it! Can't get any mental help anymore so have to overcome the issues on my own. I have to work on managing my own ups and downs on my own and I've learnt to do it via reflection. I enjoy anxiety 🙃
I agree 100%. I was born gifted, and I have a high I.Q. Thank you for your video. I have always hidden my intelligence, so I never became arrogant. I know I do not know everything, and I still have so much more to learn.
Same, I have high iq but very low ego lol. I always fear I'm honna get yelled at or shit for being "egotistical" when it couldn't be further from the truth
Same, but Im not born gifted. I lock up myself for a very long time and focus only on studies. When I try to socialize I end up doing some weird sht or behave the way that hurt people. Also I cant enjoy anything anymore I try to find a logic reason behind everything that I even forgot how to listen to music properly. I just cant stop my brain from overthinking everything to a tiniest detail. + I dont think Im smart at all. I cant even sit infront of desk for 2 hours for a single assignment, I get distracted or zone out after 2 mins
@@nerminiskenderli4656 and @Necron Lord and @Melon Mel. It feels so good to know there are other people like us, and we are not alone. Learning is fun.
oh yeah - the "let me help you" thing allowed me to socially survive highschool!🙄 The most difficult stuff to live with, though, was my family denigrating AND using my intelligence to negatively describe or target me - i.e. "mad professor", "girls arent supposed to be that smart" or the frequent "you're so weird" or "why are you interested in THAT stuff - you're crazy", heck I was repeatedly denigrated for even wanting to go to college! (i only got there, in my 30s! after completely leaving my family behind)
@@wellesmorgado4797 thank you. Was about to recommend the same. Brilliant show actually. I made my gf watch a few episodes so she can understand my need to score. Heh heh heh. . .
Ecclesiastes 1 17:18 17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind. 18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief. I love these versicles, and can confirm everything in the video. Am autistic, have always been "smarter than average", but have depression, anxiety, PTSD, awful with interactions, have suicidal thoughts, and am in process of retirement at age 28 due to all that
I have social anxiety since I was a child. I like to isolate myself from people. It was a curse. No one called me dumb but they said I'm mentally sick because of how I act. Sadly, my intelligence turned into a curse.
No you not!! Really difficult to make friend that can understand you. Just like that I'm too isolate myself from people. And only interact with people when it's necessary
I've been told that I didn't live up to my full potential because I lacked the ambition to pursue it. I struggled with this for a while and even started questioning my decisions, doubting myself thinking the way I lived was wrong. I gave it some serious thought and now I can say to all those questioning my decision (including myself sometimes): "Sure, it would be nice if I can live up to my full potential, but I'd rather live a humble life I won't regret than a life pursuing perfection just to meet people's expectation of me... If life is a marathon anyway, I'd rather run on my own pace until the finish line than sprinting for others' excitement only to be burnt out midway..."
As for the "seeking mental help" bit, that's only going with the assumption that the therapist would be perceived as smarter than the would-be patient. Being self aware has a cost when it comes to trying to convey that in ways for others to understand it. Getting someone up to speed on the "why" something is the way it is, or the cause of the problem, is time consuming. And if the therapist isn't properly equipped to address these mental issue, the patient may simply seek to solve it their self. Getting outside perspective can be useful, but sometimes bias in therapists can do more harm than good. And as for the notion of pushing people away due to pride or arrogance, I wouldn't say that's the full reason. I can't speak for others with higher IQ, but keeping people out is the only way to keep them from hurting their self emotionally. It's not that help isn't wanted, it's that we can't be helped. It's a puzzle that only we understand, and only we can fix. Everyone is good at something, but unless the person is going through or has had the same experience, they can't directly help.
I can certainly relate to this. "Seeking help" is a painful experience as the therapist tends to be working in slow motion or providing an unsuitable suggestion.
This is putting my shitty life on blast. I was born a programming prodigy, now I'm just old. I try to keep people from knowing that I have severe mental illnesses because they're afraid. Then there's trying to fit in socially and act like everything is alright. This video understates the severity of the loneliness and how it twists and warps your mind and leads to the darkest of days. I pray any of you who feel this way to get help. Because it's so painful.
I'm 47 with depression. I've spent my whole adult life convincing everyone I'm fine because, when someone asks how you are, no-one wants to hear that you're not ok. But the thing is, it is exhausting trying to keep up the illusion of normalcy. Taking anti-depressants, 3 different therapists, giving up on anti-depressants, giving up on said therapists, one suicide attempt later, and a couple of close calls and I'm now at the age where I don't care if I offend people. I speak my mind and if they don't like it, they shouldn't ask me or talk to me. I ask myself: "When I'm lying there in the last seconds of my life, will I care that I said something to someone". No, I won't. I largely want to be left alone. I still think that the way I leave this life will be through my own actions, but until then I'm just tired. To anyone who says it will get better, I envy you. To those with an opinion who don't have depression: Just don't. To TacoOblivion: You are not alone, buddy.
who are you to say "they are afraid". acting like you are alright is what is socially "standard". dont do it. be un-standard, be yourself. say "no im not fine today", if they ask why, tell them, if you wish, or not, you decide. may i suggest that you can say something like "no im not fine right now, but im working on it". i know the loneliness you are talking about, i've been there. or am there. for me, what gets me out of the downward spiral, is to focus on a passion i have. Dwelling in thoughts of the past brought me to depressive thoughts. Seeking glory in the future with a passion gives me motivation to keep on keeping on. This is what i want to suggest for you. I cannot tell you how to find it, that is in your hands.
@@gantneba Do you know about bipolar, schizoaffective, and schizophrenia? Yes, people are afraid of me saying that I hear voices telling me things or that I have long conversations with people in my head, but when I try to communicate with the actual person, they tell me they don't know what I'm talking about because I didn't actually have a conversation with them. And being bipolar, my mood was constantly shifting and with it the kinds of thoughts I would have. Everyone slowly abandons you because you can't be consistent or reliable. Nowadays, I take 5 pills at night and 3 in the morning and I function at a low level of independence, but I'm still cared for by my wife often.
Just because you're tall, that doesn't mean you have to play basketball. Just because you're attractive, that doesn't mean you have to be a model. If you're intelligent (or if you're not) live life the way that makes you happy. If someone tells you to pursue something--or not to--on the basis of your intellect, state very clearly that you have to the right to pursue whatever you as individual find happiness in, and that's exactly the thing you'll do.
@@Rackcoon929 you still don't have to. It's not your job to do anything but live the life that you enjoy, so long as you aren't infringing on anyone else's rights.
@@Rackcoon929 no, they die because life gave them unfortunate circumstances. It's no one else's responsibility to save as many lives as possible. What, should all "unintelligent" people be police officers, soldiers, firefighters, etc? No, obviously not. Not saving someone's life doesn't make you the cause of their downfall, that "logic" is really reaching.
@@DistortedShelf0 okay but my point was based on intelligent people, any one can be an officer and that, but a very tiny handful of people can create the inventions/ cures
This hit very hard. Thank you for posting this. It is not often that the algorithm shows me anything of relevance or use; but this was an exception. Thank you again.
Exactly, the one I related to is when I was asked what career I wanted to pursue, I said I wanted to be a psychologist and then I was told "I'm not living up to my full Potential" because I'm good at Math and Science
As an Engineer Student turned Paych student, let me just say Psych abt to use everything in your brain & then some just by it being vastly different from the world of 1 s & 0 s. The people who said that you will not be living up to your full potential probably thinks Psych as some hoo-hah. But the moment you realise that you need a mind in everything that you do, & is ready to question your world & everything about it it the search of your truest authentic self, then I say there is nothing more intruiging than the study of humans & our megabyte brains. Though I must say it is not a lifestyle for many given the high depression rate in this career, I will say you wont regret it teaching you many lifeskills and truly open your eyes if you do truly decide to be a student in it.
I have a 147 IQ and I have depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety, it makes living life difficult for me and I have panic attacks whenever my routine have slight changes.
I can relate to EVERY SINGLE ONE!!! I have ADHD and Asperger’s and I’m extremely intelligent (I could spell and read by the time I was three!!!) but I have a tendency to get overly stressed over the littlest things. I get extremely defensive over anything. I’m super-aware over everything; I can never focus on only one thing, which makes it difficult to focus on certain things and therefore I get distracted super easily. But being super-aware has actually helped me put quite a few times; it even “saved my life” by helping me notice when a school bully tried to jump on me at one point (that and being able to see out of the corner of my eye.) And since I’m “so different,” I’ve been ridiculed and treated differently my whole life, even by my own parents who keep treating me like a kid despite the fact I’m 31 years old. Yes, I may have problems with financial terms, which is the only reason why I can’t live on my own but they’d rather let me “figure it out on my own” and fail rather than teach me to be successful.
This really hits, thanks for making me feel more normal. I just started taking anti-depression meds a few weeks ago. I feel a lot better right now, but still finding my way in life.
I once did a test and ‘did not score well’. One of the questions was ‘There are 9 birds in a tree. Two fly away. How many birds are there?’ which I answered with ‘Too many to count, there are a large number of birds on this planet’. My answer was marked as wrong.
@@Psych2go I did. After I was diagnosed with ADHD at 33, I had a colleague at work that is a psychologist and she said many times that I was the "most intelligent person at the company". I never believed that. But one day I took an online test. I was not on my meds, and talking with my parents at the same time, and scored a 128. Still didn't convince me completely... So I relate with the OP a lot!
@@Psych2go for me personally IQ tests are in itself not good enough for intelligence, they are tests basically of some standard which categorizes people and this categorization in itself is kind of some sort of standard or " creates a box kind of situation " it's like confinement of one's intelligence to certain standards, and the standards makes feel like at one place but being intelligent means constantly evolving , going to upper level or sometimes to down level just explore and gain knowledge. So basically a standardized intelligence test may tell if a person is intelligent or not on basis of some sort of questions , but in those cases where people are trained to solve those questions of intelligence tests only , they are well trained but " not intelligent" in some sense . I hope I have made some sense Provide some more insightful thoughts to my interpretation of tests.
@@Psych2go not a professional one, I won't pay money for that. From my experience an IQ test does not really give a lot of insight into the actual intelligence when one is anywhere on the avarage range of the scale. Very dull or very sharp people can be distinguished fairly efficiently throught such tests, but I don't belong to any of those sides of the spectrum.
I completely relate to this! Most of the time, people exhibit one of two behaviours when they encounter me - awe/admiration, which results in them instantly placing me on a pedestal, or profound hate and/or jealousy, just for being who I am. And contrary to what one might expect, I'm not an egotistical jerk - my upbringing, centred towards being virtuous, peaceful and an asset to society ended up making me quite a people pleaser throughout high school. Just said yes to everyone to avoid conflict and while helping people was utterly fulfilling, I lacked the emotional maturity to understand how much I was exploited by my peers. This treatment, in one way or another, ended up making it difficult to develop genuine connections. I've always found teaching, leadership, management, public speaking and related activities highly fulfilling but had problems connecting with people on a personal level - I was more of a tutor or counsellor to people rather than a friend, an equal. Helping people is pretty fulfilling, but I did feel lonely and had almost convinced myself that apart from my parents, there are only a couple of people or so, with enough intellectual depth to comprehend my mental state. I did drive myself into a rabbit hole of overthinking and depression, especially after a breakup a couple of years ago, until a few changes, including coming across Psych2Go have helped me proceed in a better direction! It's been more than a year since I gave up people-pleasing, learnt to say "NO" more often and established a clear distinction between humility and allowing myself to be exploited. I've also put my risk-averse self behind, up to a great extent, and have started enjoying life in general. I've opened up to more people and was surprised at the support I got by "letting my guard down". People were always there, I only needed to reach out to them. My friends (Yes, I now have friends in the truest sense of the word! 😌) also motivated me to start working out, which has been one of the best things I've ever done! I'm more motivated than ever to accomplish my goals and I feel complete and a lot less of an outcast than I used to. Kudos to Psych2Go, love your work! 💙 P.S.: For those who are wondering, I'm an INFJ with an IQ of 172.
Yo you sound like me. I'm an INFJ (very rare) and also share the same interests as you and Tutor. How did you learn how to be humble vs not letting others exploit you?
Well, hello there! For me, overcoming people-pleasing required me to accept that it was a problem - most of the time, I noticed that I let people treat me unfairly, use me, and then found myself compensating for my lack of action by branding my silence as a virtue. A key moment was when my last relationship ended and I realized how spineless I had rendered myself when it came to a few people in my life that I simply couldn't deny at all. So I decided to start small. Just say no to mundane tasks at first. It was pretty hard and my conscience kept tormenting me to revert my decision, but I somehow stood firm. From denying tiny errands that people could easily do by themselves to then saying no to favours that left me drained, it took me about a year to cement this practice. Another thing I'd like to mention is that I started taking action in other avenues in life too. I started working out, disciplined myself, and organized my life to a great extent and am still improving. The complacency that came out of overachieving made me stagnate and turn lazy, so taking action and holding myself accountable made me value myself, and treat myself with respect and dignity. I also happened to come across Dr Jordan Peterson's lectures and my oh my they were just what I needed! Content from David Goggins was amazing too! It also helped that I had a change in environment via joining a pretty good college where most of my schoolmates didn't make it and the new, unknown environment helped me experiment and work on this change in personality without having to worry about emotional blackmail from people I know. Once I got used to the new me, it was easy to play life in hard mode - rejecting the selfish advances of people that were closest to me. I noticed an increase in the respect I got from people (and fear too 😳) and I'm glad to say that 2 years later, no one takes me for granted or rather, I don't let anyone exploit me. At the same time, I rely on my observations and instinct to help people who are genuinely in need of it. I've blocked and discarded a few of the extremely intolerable and toxic people from my past and that has worked wonders! I hope you're able to overcome your barriers too. All the best! 💙
I feel this, I have to go through a lot, being in a gifted class, and I feel no one is there for me. I sort of suffer from depression (I suffer from various symptoms of major depression, though I haven't broken the two week threshold required to be diagnosed with it) and it's really a lot for me. It feels like life is against me, because I'm expected to do everything correctly, but I'm the worst at everything, but I feel barely anyone can really help me, and I'm scared to ask for help because I apparently live the perfect life, and because of this, I don't need a therapist, or a psychiatrist, or anyone else who would help me up. I always beat myself up for everything, and I just can't do anything about it, because my mentality is always like this. I've too many people, friends and family and such, to live for, so I can't let myself die, and I'm stuck in this infinite loop, all because I'm apparently intelligent, and whenever I have to deal with a situation, I'm just the needy smart kid who wants everything, and I just want to feel normal. I can't tell anyone I feel this way because I can't do anything. I just feel horrible all the time, and the last time I asked my mom about a therapist, about 5 months ago, she said the perfect kid doesn't need therapy. This was a while ago, so I have completely different problems, (The ones I mentioned throughout this comment) but that one discussion leaved me incapable of asking anyone who can help me for help.
I feel you. Recognizing that you are in this situation is a good thing. One thing that helped me in this situation is to find a friend who doesn't have these unrealistic expectations of you and just tell them how you feel about everything. Even if it doesn't solve anything, you don't have as much weight on your shoulders. Another thing that may help is letting go. Let go of people's expectations. If you can't get 150% on a test and they get mad at you for it, that 100% is not your fault. It isn't right for someone to force that pressure on others. You get a 98% on the most advanced class of your grade and they are mad you didn't get 100%, you need to tell them that they have unrealistic expectations and that you already are so great. In video games, when you max out one stat and leave the rest to rot, you aren't going to do very well in the end. Stop forcing so many points into intelligence and start putting more in emotional stability. If they can't accept that, they aren't your friends. Find people who really support you. You are enough, don't let them tell you what you have to be.
The good news is that you are far from perfect, because NO ONE is perfect! Being highly intelligent does not mean you have to achieve more than everyone else. It sounds to me like you are being raised in a performance-based environment, which is not healthy. Take the pressure off yourself and give yourself permission to BE normal even though your cognitive IQ is not. You are worthy and lovable no matter how much or how little you accomplish in life.
A couple of months, I struggled with overthinking even more than I usually do and I went to seek help. At the same time, I’ve noticed a lot of similarities in me to some symptoms of ADHD. So I talked about that as well. The therapist was helpful in pointing out that how I display those symptoms is not indicative of ADHD but more of high intelligence. I’ve talked to my parents and they confirmed they got me tested when I was young. I don’t remember the exact score but definitely high enough to be considered intelligent. What I’d love to see is a video showing the similarities and differences between ADHD and intelligence.
I'll not comment overmuch on similarities versus differences, but I can tell you that ADD/ADHD and Mensa level IQ are by far not mutually exclusive. Moreover, many from EITHER group are quite capable of: being under stimulated by their environment; experiencing social awkwardness; manifesting intensely focused concentration for extended periods of time.
“Highly intelligent” has been used to describe me for a lot of my life. One of the areas I seem to struggle with is when I am in a group learning environment (ie. college courses or job training). When information is being given to the group, many people ask for clarification or to have information repeated. There is nothing (and I mean nothing) wrong with ensuring one’s self fully understands. However, I believe those working with a “higher intelligence” become more bored with the class and therefore we tend to let our minds wander and get distracted from the lesson. What do you think? Is this a possible side effect of higher intelligence?
I am very much introverted and have always been ahead of the standard for my grade. I was awkward and put up with typical gifted expectations. I learned to just not care. Can't really explain how other than I just forced myself to. I forced myself to laugh smile and talk to people and eventually learned to be more extroverted. I still need time to recharge and prefer small but close friendships. The best thing I learned was to trust my gut, thinking can only take you so far and if you don't know what to do, just do something even if you know nothing about it.
Former gifted child here. I've shared my story a few times in various places, so I'll keep it brief. I had a knack for maths in my early years and gained a high aptitude for science in high school. Pretty much every other subject I had little to no success. The only ambition I ever felt was due to expectations of others and imagined expectation from myself. Due to this and other life experiences, stress was building, and half way through university, depression kicked my teeth in so hard they came out the other end. 9 years or so later, and I still haven't fully recovered and probably never will as my problems are too deep-rooted and my world view is heavily intertwined with my problems.
I cruised through school until l got into uni. The problem with being gifted is that we never learn how to study or put in effort to learn. In our younger years that's not an issue, l could pass almost any exam without ever opening the book or top the class having opened it the night before. But, get into uni and suddenly you need to be an independent learner who studies and put in effort outside of classes, it should be easy for us, but because we never had any reason to develop study skills it can be incredibly hard. These days some psychologists think being gifted should be considered a developmental or learning disability, while we are more than capable of learning, we can't learn the skills we will need later in life by just going through the regular school system, we need to be taught in different ways that challenge us while we are still young. In terms of coming to grips with personal failure, l've taken to considering myself incredibly stupid and it has totally changed my outlook both on life and towards myself. After being told how smart l was all my life and proving it many times, l have never come close to living up to the expectations l set for myself, so l decided l must be stupid and if lm stupid then l can't blame myself for my failures. It sounds weird but it really has helped a lot to get rid of the guilt and self hatred. The thing that still gets me though is how much stupider most people are... Like yes lm stupid, but holly crap some people must have a lot of unused space in their heads.
never say never my friend. you need to learn how to ground yourself and destress. eser said then done ofc but there are many practices like meditation. also listening to people like sadhguru can help. i cant stand math but i love stuff like quantum mechanics and other fields. duse to some life sircomstances i cant get any jobs that would make me happy so my depression is from the thought of becomming homeless cause i cant just do macdonalds for a living. however i do love helping people so if you ever wana chat, let me know
I can relate to this. For my part, I've always had a pretty good ability to learn/adapt so I ended up being more of a jack of all trades rather than a specialist. I still developed a very clear interest in computers while paradoxically having an aversion to maths (now fixed). People have always expected me to go into the CS field, which I ended up doing, only to realize later that I don't fully enjoy it as a job. I'd tinker with niche techs or try to understand lower level programming for hours on end but if you ask me to make a website, I'd be like: "Oh boy, what a chore". The constant feeling of not being understood, not being seen for who I am, having accute empathy while being faced with emotional indifference or having to pretend being dumber as to not be cast aside (which did happen many times anyway) has led to deep depression that I've struggled with for years, and still do today even if it got better. I have had to grow a lot more stoic because of all these factors otherwise I wouldn't be able to live relatively normally today.
High Intelligence is a gift for me and I am grateful for that,during childhood it was more like a challenge to me,I learnt many social skills at that age and when to truly use your intelligence..Overall I am grateful
The more and more I watch your videos the more I'm seeing the truth in everything. Thank you for your content. I've been watching for the past 3/4 years, but until tonight I haven't left a comment. Thank you for producing this so that others have access to this..
Of the many different kinds of intelligence (pattern recognition, musical, emotional etc) the classic pattern recognition / mathematical IQ has a tendency to get you bullied in school, envied by peers and rejected by potential partners. Above 160, the region where specialist IQ tests have to be designed because the standard ones don’t work, people often feel isolated from society and from their colleagues and peers. Specialist organisations and clubs do exist, such as the 999 society, but people in that range often do not ‘play well’ with each other. I would happily drop 50 IQ points for a quieter life and more connection with my peers.
This video totally suits me. I'm a high IQ person who usually takes people's constructive criticism too personally and I ended up not becoming the best student high school. Nowadays, I'm teaching math to people as a way to express my intelligence
@@hawkwomanh614 emotions about inputs from the outside and your reactions have nothing to do with being smart... you can be pretty smart and still take things to heart or overreacted when criticized... Knowing how to work with inputs like feedback and staying calm about it is a life-long learning...
Sometimes i don't like having quite good intelligence, i feel bunches of pressure, i'm isolated quite alot, i have quite massive stress, anxiety and i may stress for some simple details for hours, it's not so fun as some people may think
First, thank you soooo very much Psych2go for this video. As a diagnosed highly intelligent person, who is regularly confronted with many of these aspects, this video gave me hope so that other people, who may not know how it feels like to be intelligent, now know a little bit more about the downsides. I would like to give an advice for those intelligent people out there, who may be struggle seeing the good parts of being intelligent, Most important, know that you are not alone. Many struggle and yes sometimes it is very hard to not see the burdening part. I myself know how difficult it can be. Maybe try to find people who are also highly intelligent. Sometimes talking to those, who know how it can feel like, really helps. Most countries have websites and organisations, who try to connect people and also share awareness and information about the topic of being an intelligent human being. I hope, I could encourage some of you, to try and seek contact with others, and know, that you are not alone.
I can totally attest to this. I just "woke up" from a 35 year long childhood trauma that was caused by all the great expectations in early childhood and my highly sensitive empathy, that caused me great anxiety and at some point my brain was overloaded and locked away the empathy together with many negative emotions, which steered my entire life up to now. The one thing i cant relate to in this video is getting help during that time, the deep shame and feeling of inadequacy i felt prevented me from doing so. Its completely gone now and am as outgoing and open as it gets. Now that my authentic self finally arrived, my personality shifted entirely and in many aspects i am almost the opposite from before, the way i always wished to be. My thinking and speech improved drastically and i have gained inner calmness and balance and full self confidence. But i have to get used to this highly sensitivite empathy now, it can get quite scary and overbearing sometimes. For anyone struggling: the hardest but best thing i ever did was to challenge my emotions, let them spill out no matter what they are without fighting and open up to another person. The rest happens all by itself. Also always listen to your gut feeling, its a lot more important, than people realize. Ignoring that for too long can cause mental health issues and then external health problems.
I can attest to all the struggles you describe. "High intelligence" is so narrow an area of life to have the impact that people led me to believe throughout my life. I appreciate the ability but the costs are so high and, at 30, I'm really only just starting the journey to pay that cost and start putting my ability to better use. I don't appreciate a society that is not in any way inclusive of outliers, in spite of how much it relies on them.
Ha I’m a relatively intelligent guy, but I’ve found that displaying it regularly (at least in primary school) just added expectations on me that I wasn’t particularly inclined to fulfill. I love making music and writing novels, but somehow ended up in the engineering program in college simply because I’m ‘smart’ and it was expected. My life went sideways and I got mentally ill, and the same thing is happening with me at the hospital (taking IT support in college though I have no desire to go in the first place, but I want to go home so I acquiesced). Just let people be people man
It take a lot of courage to accept that you can't do everything and sometimes it's okay to ask for advices or help. The only way I personally understood that is by having a visual handicap I will be scared with for the rest of my life. It's annoying but someday I will have to cope with it and adapt more than I already do
Stanley kubrick said the biggest mistake in schools is using fear as a basic motivation. Fear of not staying with your class fear of failing grades. Interest can produce learning on a scale with fear as a nuclear explosion compared to a firecracker. Think the word compared wasnt in there.
it does get hard, i did multiple test growing up as a kid and found then i had an IQ of 130. but stress of school life, being bullied and 2 traumatizing relationships..... i've grown up issolated and depressed so would have lost a few point over the years....resulting in decades of socially anxiety that pretty well "crippled my social life".....working on it.
@@edcalwag7387 130IQ correspond to being in top 2.5%. 130iq is usually the treshold retained to consider someone as "gifted" or "very advanced". Keep in mind that IQ test are designed to asses a limited set of brain abilities and are not an absolute indicator of how intelligent/capable someone is.
The pressure of family & scholastics... There is a solid corillation between high IQs and ADHD. This is a huge factor because the adhd hinders us in ways our family /school don't understand and pressure us with, you can do better then this, your not trying hard enough, your just being lazy /stubborn! This corillation should be looked at as well, maybe a topic Idea? Great video though. Had me in tears as it hit close to home so to speak.
I disagree. Some intelligent people that also has high emotional intelligence can ”outsmart” the system where many gets stuck. If you’re a good strategist (iq) and understand yourself as well as others feelings and reactions you will be ablw to consistently put yourself in positions that shows you that life is pretty good
@@adrian5721Not true. There may be an infinite number of ways to take advantage of a system, but if taking advantage of that system doesn’t align with a person’s values, then the opportunity may as well not exist at all There is more to life than intellect alone
calling playing the system smart shows you are not as intelligent as you would like to be. because you completely missudged the situation: thinking its all about you and to make yourself the best life is not the result of intelligence in fact its the result of missing emotional intelligence. yeah you can be king, but at what price? also most of the times kingdoms end in revolutions... if you dont understand that people dont like you for playing them... then you are maybe not as intelligent as you think you are
@@dimitralex1892 & @ORDlNANCE we still might disagree and that's fine, but I phrased it poorly last time around. What I so sloppily referred to as the "system" is the human psyche. If one has a deep understanding of what causes certain emotions to arise in oneself as well as in others, and that you can develop a fascinating level of control over your own but only influence others you can sail pretty smoothly without having to manipulate others. And this goes for everything from the most basic day to day interactions to work related projects, political discussions and relationships. I'm not saying that I'm extremely intelligent, but let's entertain "you can be king, but at what price?". If I were to become "king", it's not because I manipulate people or "play the system" every time the opportunity arises. It will be because I make the best out of every situation where others typically let their emotion blur their clarity or fail to understand what the "no-go-comments" are for different people. Emphasis on "comments", not opinions. I didn't intend to write an essay so I will try to be short in this last part (directed to Dimitralex). If you fail to understand that you can have mutually beneficial interactions with people of different intellect & world views/opinions without betraying your morals then maybe we we're both not as intelligent as we would like to believe :)
@@ORDlNANCE I tried giving you a response and at the same time responding to the other guy. I elaborated on what you took as "taking advantage of the system". But I agree with your comment about the opportunity not really being there if it doesn't align with ones values. However, more often than not (depending on your line of work, some tasks doesn't offer compromise at all) you will be able to optimize without having to compromise your values. By 'optimize' I mean for both parts involved. There is HOW you talk to a person and understand their "communicational needs" and then there's the respective goals of each party which can or cannot be reached as a result of your interaction without compromising your values. If not, more opportunities will arise where it is possible for you and others to "progress" simultaneously
I have a high/above average IQ and I have noticed the side effects of that over the course of my life. People tended to treat me differently due to me being the quiet one in the group and I was always very observant always having to look over my shoulder to make sure the next ass kicking was not around the corner. I kept track of how people moved, how people behaved and different situations and I became (in my eyes) an expert on body language by age 9 or 10. I never had a lot of friends and the friends that I did have I either had fillings outs with or we just grew apart as time went on. These side effects are not all bad though me watching everyone (and I mean everyone) and seeing how they responded on different situations made me also keep track of what people did when they were very confident and charismatic and I try to implement that into my life as much as I can, I notice that I am respected as that (occasional) quiet kid now, the key? Keep a steady frame, respect is heavy, if your frame is fragile you will crumble under the pressure to perform up to it. Learn to fight, no person (especially man) can defend his ideas and family while being physically weak and fragile, get in shape and learn to fight. And lastly, adopt black and white thinking, the curse of the intelligent mind is that is runs 100 miles a second and the simple thoughts might seem overwhelming, black and white thinking can (when warranted) ease the decision another thing that helps with decision making is stoicism but that is a whole different topic.
My IQ is 150 and I suffer from schizoaffective disorder. I most struggle with the fact that I have much less social awareness and experience than others. They somehow expect me to meet up the standards but I normally just screw at social gatherings. It's very paradoxical for others.
As a fairly intelligent person, the idea that higher intelligence tracks with decreased stress mitigation in the brain makes a lot of sense. My own situation eventually developed into a defense mechanism that helped greatly in deaing with the ostracism of those who couldn't accept someone who was different than them, and I took on a Bhudda-like attitude, no longer caring about others opinions. Unfortunatly, this only deepened into antisocial behavior in the form of avoidance, and every incident that would pirce the walls I had erected only deepened my desire to keep my distance from others. This has now gotten severe enough that I find it nearly impossible to even seek out gainful employment, and it has become opposed by a deepening loneliness. We all have difficulty making friends as adults, but for those of us who had difficulty making friends to begin with, it becomes a real struggle just to find value and meaning in daily life.
I hope your able to find some people you can share hobbies and interests with soon. As a person who never had issues making friends, I was already extreamly independent and lonely. I'm introverted and semi-antisocial. If your not a close friend I avoid all conversations and small talk if possible. It's not an ego thing, I just don't see the point in small talk most of the time. I usually do it for other people to feel accepted in an environment. But I also have a couple of very close friends who think similarly, They're people I can rant to, people I can feel at peace with, I always tense up with anyone around me even if I know them. The only way I won't is if we have a deeper bond. Anyways I think you should continue being yourself, and eventually someone smarter will come around and see your value as a friend. Out of all my thinking, trying to make sense of the world around us and our emotions, I truly think loneliness is the hardest thing to overcome. It can alter your life so much if you don't gain control of it. As an introvert loneliness is something I've grown to be ok with, but after a long time, it still starts to swallow you up. Good luck on your journey 🤟
School always bored me to tears. Until I reached a few late high school/late college courses, I breezed through with minimal effort. That usually led to my ADHD getting me into trouble. I had a college-level reading comprehension skill in 3rd grade and could do complex high-school level algebra in 4th. Anything they had to teach me made perfect sense and, with a slight bit of practice, I was bored because it was easy. Then I hit calculus. Calculus has never made sense in my head and I’ve attempted to study it multiple ways from multiple sources. It just doesn’t click. That honestly destroyed my self-esteem for a long time. I was always one of the smartest people I knew until I wasn’t. That’s when I started shifting into using my book intelligence less and focusing on social intelligence (psychology, sociology, social patterns, etc). It’s my favorite subject now. People are so predictable, and it’s amazing to see how little tweaks to environments and stimuli can completely change how they interact. All of this to say, if you’re reading this and you don’t think you’re smart anymore because you always have been but something doesn’t make sense to you, it’s not that you’re not smart. You’re probably wicked smart. Some things just aren’t gonna click for you. And that’s okay. Do what you can to avoid those things and survive them if you must. Focus on learning what makes you happy and you’ll be always have a great time
This reminds me of a conversation i had with a friend recently on he subject of how intelligent people often times want to use what they know to help, but lacking the emotional intelligence to apply it properly. It's really hard to pull oneself out of their natural state of beind result-driven when it comes to other people's lives. That's not always our friends' and loved ones' goal. They aren't always trying to find a quick, scientific solution to their problems. It can hurt when we try to help at times or in ways that it jist simply isn't asked for. No matter who you are or what type of mind you have, it will always be a challenge to see eye to eye with people who see the world differently than you. As hard as it can be when you're excited and want to help, a little bit of patience and listening can go a long way. Even at times when i still don't understand where someone is coming from I try to draw myself a story in my head that might make me feel similar so that i can at least try.
I tend to try to do the same thing by putting myself in their shoes and seeing myself from their perspective so I can try to figure out what the best way to emotionally handle the situation is and what kind of support they need.
My IQ is somewhere between 125 and 150, and I’m an Empath. I’ve had a very difficult time dealing with this. I was good with figuring out social situations and adapting but became exhausted after.
I am a 30 yr old African American,during my childhood I would be trying to explain logic and reasoning to my friends. I knew my thoughts worked very differently. I would have these deep self monologues that nearly drove me crazy 😆 I also won a state writing contest in the 4th grade. I have a 145 IQ. It’s okay to be different,self acceptance comes with time.
I have deep self monologues all the time. I only have a 126 IQ, so nothing crazy, but I'm HIGHLY interested in logic, and I find it difficult to succeed in a capitalist society where logic is not only undervalued, but downright a near disadvantage unless you can figure out an idea that will lead to generating TONS of revenue. Unfortunately, I'm not creative enough to do that, so generating revenue has been extraordinarily difficult for me, and I feel like I don't even exist to the world most of the time. Life has really sucked as a somewhat intelligent person living in a world full of extreme delusion and bullshit!
@@yk-who-it-is I would say this. The objective goal of education should be to learn a skill that can help contribute positively in some way to our overall goal of understanding the nature of our reality in order to manipulate it to our collective benefit. STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are our best tools for understanding existence and using that knowledge to build better tools for learning more and, subsequently, developing products and services that transform our lives. Figure out what inspires you and go AT IT!
I have a verified IQ of 139. Experiencing a "dark night of the soul" and "ego death" type existential crisis is a gift I wish I could give to the world. Self-awareness is truly crucial for navigating social situations. I'm recovering from burnout and getting ready to return to work without being off-putting (know it all here. Unintentional). For any parents or educators that feel comfortable labeling a child gifted or similar, assume that child has special needs, because they do. EDIT: Are we deleting comments after leaving comments? Leave them up for posterity. We're all aware that knowing that we don't know shit and owning our mistakes and learning from them is true intelligence. Even crappy jokes like needing a lobotomy to achieve a 140 IQ. Now, is that a crack at MY intelligence or did you mean you'd need a lobotomy to believe that your IQ is 140, when in reality you're drooling in a corner? I need context. Come back and finish the joke!
It does not mean anything... If you watch Mr. Ballen's channel, you will see one story where the allegedly "most intelligent vvohman ever" died doing a very stupid and dumb thing.
@Rollo Tape I do stupid shit all the time. The difference is knowing when you're doing stupid shit and not just briefly questioning whether or not what you intend to do is stupid, therefore consequences.
When I was 4 as apart of the testing figure out my mental illnesses they found I met the baseline for genius level IQ, I also of positional defiance disorder, so I found and often still do find I feel like everyone around me is an idiot and I don't have the power to do anything about it.
It’s weird to write below a UA-cam video that you are intelligent but I really relate to all of the points in this video. Being in high school, I don’t have real friends because people either want to be with me for the copy of my homework or because they don’t want to feel “less intelligent” besides me. Teachers always praise me and most of the students know me as the “straight A girl” which put me under a lot of pressure to always do better and prove that I’m worth that title. (Sorry for bad English it’s not my native language)
To be fair, doing good in school doesn't mean you are smart. I did good as well and I think I'm probably average. I never studied or even really read any of the books, but I figured out patterns to get through. I didn't get straight A's, but with my minimal effort, my GPA was well over 3.5 and I even got a STEM field college degree the same way. Also, you can have friends you just have to learn how to chill out a little bit and have fun. I don't have a ton either, but I am a lot better at being social than I used to. Find a social butterfly friend and do stuff that sounds terrible (unless it is dangerous) to grow. When you are scared, just talk. Fail and learn. And when people always wanted answers from me, I was just like "Nah man, I don't share answers. I can try to help you out though." Be chill but assertive, don't let people take advantage. Sorry for the long comment but I felt like some things may be similar between us. Your comment sort of reminds me of myself in high school.
Its not weird at all, you'd be hard pressed to find any Comment section where the participants don't feel That they're above average intelligence. Three words you'll never read in a comment section "I don't know".
I am one of these people, and almost all of this resonates with me. Everything from increased burden, to sometimes coming across as arrogant when I'm done playing social games or playing nice. I know what I know, and I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong.
I feel as this video really matches me. Im trying ro learn way more then I can and is bad at social stuff, Im trying to help yet people think I am just showing off. But sometimes I can try and take a break, even though I have a huge test to a project I want to get into. If you feel way too stressed, take a break, you aren't in a race.
Being known as intelligent can do a lot to person - negatively. As stated, like upholding high standards for yourself or others so they don't think bad of you. Or, not being smart in every aspect, for example, being brilliant at Maths and less at English. Or, the constant struggle to adapt your mental capabilities, especially at a younger age, so everyone can see that you are still intelligent. I am very glad someone is able to communicate this all onto a wide media platform.
I think to an extent it goes the other way around too though. Smart people are and in my opinion should be held to a higher standard but also when you hold a higher standard most folks can rise to it if they're motivated. It doesn't take a generally brilliant mind to become educated or trained in something, but regular people who have been equally practiced at something generally won't have an issue holding their own against a smarter individual of the same level of practice.
@Antonio Yeats Potential isn't a real thing. It's an imaginary projection coupled with expectations. The only person who can judge if someone is truly living up to their potential is the individual themselves. Yes, those with skills and ability do have a responsibility to contribute in ways others can't. On this I agree. However, there is often a disconnect between what someone else sees and what you see about yourself. Society only ever sees the public face of an intelligent person. But there are all the parts that aren't public. Disabilities, crippling mental illness, trauma, physical maladies, financial issues, etc. Intellect is not the panacea to any problem that pop culture thinks it is. You can't think your way into feeling loved. You can't think your way out of anemia or depression or anxiety or PTSD. Many mental illnesses are actually exacerbated by high intellect. High intelligence can also make it difficult for the brain to take a break. Rumination, replaying traumatic events, overthinking, and more can all contribute to crippling a person's ability to function. And intelligence makes it harder to stop these things because the smarter someone is the more they're thinking, and repetition of thoughts reinforces the neural pathways. In other words, it's easy for smart people to get trapped in mental illness, and the more intelligent, the harder it is to break out of it.
@@The_Viscount sure potentials a thing xD we all have potential bud. Seems like a bit of a sementic game you're trying to play. Being very smart helps with pretty much everything. Including mental health. 🤷 ability to sort out your own shit is a thing. Just gotta work on it earnestly and take the responsibility for you own life and mind. A lot of people mistake their intelligence or physical prowess or empathy or whatever great gift they have for making them somehow special xD it doesn't. People are people and they have families to build and jobs to get done. Hard working people are the best, hardworking and kind people are the best of the best. Anything else just feeds that potential or its a waste.
I've struggled most of my life, pretty much gave up in my early 30s, turned to booze and drugs and basically copped out from any aspirations in life. The one thing that kept me going was music,playing guitar. Now , in my late 50s, I've been focused on that. The last 5 years I've been working as a cleaner (I'm very good at it...) building a social life, being nice to people. Also medication (Duloxatine) has helped a lot. A comment below really struck- knowing when to shut up. So true. Good luck to anyone struggling. Don't be arrogant,you were born lucky.
Being highly intelligent and being around a lot of people is an abominable combination, because you are just one of many assets people feel like they own; often times, I find that even I have to remind people that not all my hours can be bought, some things matter more to me than money; people will invade your space and boundaries to get you to do things. If people don’t solve their problems, they will always be dependent on someone else for something they can do for themselves. I’ve learned to work with groups, but it’s difficult to find the right ones due to my location. All my life I thought most people were much smarter on average; I think most of us here has come to find that we were a tad wrong 😅
You nailed it! I was bored at school. As result I didn’t do well. But I excelled in my career in a very complex industry. My bosses recognized my ability and though I had only a high school education I was assigned jobs held normally by engineers and scientists with advanced degrees. When it came to math, I out performed every one including Ph.D. Scientists and engineers. I just hadn’t been to the schools or had the sheep skins to go with it.
@@vincentkingsdale8334 math was a language I understood. I learned from my father and then a personal tutor. But more advanced math skills were shared by work colleagues with advanced degrees including at our R&D center. But these were all for specific needs. I taught myself by buying textbooks and practicing examples and skills. It became a passion.
I've always felt in the very awkward middle. Somewhat more intelligent than average people and it causes me to overthink, understand both sides of maany arguments and not picking sides and getting frustrated with stupidity, but at the same time I'm certainly not smart enough to actually use my intellect in circles of exceptionally smart people. In all honesty, I would GLADLY be dumber. It would likely come with the kind of peace of mind and joy in simpler things and a bliss of ignorance I have always dreamt of, but my brain is just a chaotic mess of... too much awareness about everything, too sensitive to pick up things and now struggling with anxiety and social anxiety... That, or my brain is just somehow too restless and overactive for some reason. Certainly not something I'd brag about.
Do you feel high intelligence is a curse or a gift?
Yes
Curse
Both
Both
Yes!!
Nah high intelligence is one thing, the ability to use it when it's needed and keep your mouth shut when it's not, is another
I think thats the social part...its a hit or miss as intelligence is more complex than a simply "Intelligent at everything" the video says it itself really.
Hahah very true
That would be the concept of wisdom, the appropriate use of acquired knowledge.
Damn, I feel so called out :)
i agree rea inteligence means, when u use or not what u learn
High intelligence is both a gift and a curse, but knowing when and how to apply it is the real gift.
Known as wisdom? :P
@@Psych2go Definitely wisdom
I just got lucky and got the sweet spot of high intelligence and mid intelligence
No stress
Good grades
Pretty much depends on your genes
This comment section is what I needed to read. Now I am going to look into wisdom. I should know when and how to apply it otherwise I will stay in this cycle of trial and error with friends, family, mental stability, unfulfilled passions and so on
And living it is a damn curse
My brother and I were bored at school. They teachers said we had learning disabilities. We were taken to mental specialists of some sort and were given IQ tests. We were both way above average. The specialist said we were just under stimulated by school. We both ended up being scientists in different fields.
The curse of mediocre teachers...
im glad to hear you didnt let the school system break your spirit. it does for a lot of people
I just went to a neuropsychologist and she’s said the same thing. School under stimulates me greatly and idk how to react.
I think people who usually dont work at school and say they are not interested in it. Tend to be high iq people
A pair of science brothers... Kinda wanna write a screenplay on this
Statistically more than half y’all commenting are gaslighting yourself into thinking you’re highly intelligent
Nice one 😂
This statement is true, and actually quite understated. Technically yes, more than half, but one could easily say more than 85%. Mensa, the lowest tier high IQ society starts accepting only at the top 2% of IQs on the planet. 98% of all humanity fails to qualify. Yet that 98% feels qualified to comment on the struggles of having a high IQ. It is quite the funny predicament. I am working from the SD15 scale. To me personally, you are not "high IQ" unless you are at least 1 SD above the average, which would be 130. Anything between that and 115 is just "above average." Working with that scale and that definition, less than 3% of people commenting are likely to qualify to speak on the subject.
Wish I was stupider
Yup you spitting facts
This made me Laugh 😂😂😂😂
Some downsides of intelligence may be the tendency to overthink, people getting annoyed when you casually correct them in conversation, and prioritising thinking over feeling.
So true, because with a high IQ you have the ability to think in a broader range = overthinking. Leads to anxiety. Leads to depression. I hate if that happens. Takes forever to heal.
Excuse me, I think you meant 'tendency'. ;)
Yep
Accurate, have a nice day
*casually
(IQ=162. Friend count: 3)
When I was in the 3rd grade my teacher told my parents that I had a learning disability. My parents took me to a psychologist that put me through tests. Turned out I had an IQ of 152, and my teacher just didn't know how to respond to me. I had/have trouble making new friends, and still have some issues in social situations. I tend to cope by trying to put myself on the same mental level of the person I'm talking to. It can be exhausting, so I tend not to "people" often.
May I ask you, if you wanna answer me, if you are on the autistic spectrum?
Great, my IQ's around 150 too, and what you are saying is 100% true. It's hard making friends.
@@paolomartinelli345 Not that I have been made aware of.
go take a shower
@@holymeto9981 do you feel intelligent? Or do you constantly question your own intelligence? Like, when you're alone all day in your element, do you do or think things that make you think "You know, they could have gotten it wrong, and I actually could have a low IQ and not know it."
Asking because I've been questioning my own intelligence and I'm not sure if I'm intelligent enough to achieve my goals. What if I'm an idiot with unrealistic dreams and I'm picking at a locked door.
I’ve found that the expectations that are intrinsically associated with intelligent people usually manifest as perceptions of competency, high executive function, and being the most effective person in the room (depending on the room). But people are people, and as soon as you consider that people have mental disorders, it can cause those big gaps between expectation and reality
Amen
Great point
Valid point. We have to look at people holistically as well.
Executive functioning is usually stunted in us. We're the idea-people.
I have a higher IQ, but also am on the autism spectrum and have dyslexia, I struggle with executive function and often do just completely derpy, dumb things when solving problems if I'm not fully paying attention. If I get stressed from the environment around me, my ability to solve problems goes down immensely, which throws people off when they see me fix/do things they would never have thought of then fail horribly when trying to solve someone else's problem with other people around me
(I used to work at a factory, 0/10 do not recommend)
Now I run my own gourmet mushroom business by myself, and I couldn't be happier
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
People need to realise that people with anxiety disorders have oversensitised nerves, it's not a simple case of manning up and getting over it.
Yes, Doctor Greg Mushrooms he is a great man of God who has the great insight on psychedelic and mushroom. He will guide you on how to use mushrooms to get good trip.
Please, how do I reach doctor Greg?
He’s on the internet
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
There were a few things I had hoped to hear about:
- during childhood development high IQ is correlated with low emotional/social skills (though they do catch up in adulthood)
- nihilism - the better you understand how the world works (atheism, moral relativism, illusion of free will), the more difficult it is to find "meaning" in life
- decision paralysis - this one often strongly counters the "arrogant know-it-all" aspect of a high-IQ personality - being aware of the complexities of factors that influence the future and distrust of intuitions may make it difficult to decide on an optimal action
- loneliness - the stunted EQ and irritability with "dumb people" lead to a significantly smaller social circle
I think exurb1a here on UA-cam is a great example of a highly intelligent nihilistic person. Would also love to hear more about that in particular 😊
@@Party21304 he is the goat, also there is this Gen Z guy called Gherbert Johnson and he is also very smart and nihilistic
@@Andres_2004 Never heard of him. I'll give him a listen
Nope that’s not true iq and eq are associated with each other both go hand in hand
First EQ does not exist, the data on that is clear, you might be playing language games, if you could clarify, do not hesitate.
Second nihilism is a factor of losing a fundamental axiom, also to let go of responsibility, nothing to do with intelligence.
Decision paralysis is about not being articulate, nothing to do with intelligence, if you mean sceptical to accepting ideas, it's possible intelligent people do that, although it not simply obvious how or why.
Loneliness is about either being ugly (which is pretty rare), being annoying, not articulating your ideas to the right people, or not being properly socialised by the age of 4, having too high expectations, nothing to do with intelligence.
I’m not going to claim I have super high intellect but I definitely can relate to most of these to some degree.
The last two years of college have been pretty stressful as I can’t just waltz my way through it just like I did with high school. It doesn’t help that a lot of the things I’ve been assigned are very time consuming, and it’s really hard to manage time with my ADHD. Ironically I’m procrastinating on a project I have to get done just by watching this. Due to this, I’ve been struggling to get As and Bs in classes that should be easy for me; which has dealt quite a blow to my ego.
I hope everyone out there struggling with academics try their hardest and keep focused on the tasks ahead of them!
Yoo i understand you, i go through the same exact thing
Same except that it is my third year of college/university, I don’t have ADHD and I don’t even know how tough the classes truly are vs how dumb I am at this point. And failing like this kills any motivation I had left as I think to myself that there is no point in trying anymore so I have sort of given up. But I can’t even get my mind off of what I am supposed to be doing too much, which leads into me continuing to cry and criticise myself about it. I dread even going to bed and waking up at this point as I know I will have to go to school again and attempt to understand something that I will probably forget after leaving the class even if I somehow do anyway (which was never an issue before…) while praying the teachers don’t ask me anything. Me. Having to hide from teachers. What an absolute embarrassment. To be fair I used to hate regular school too but at least then I had standards, it is a million times worse when you are failing it and people tell you how you are “wasting your potential” and “not trying hard enough” as the video mentions as well. Christ, I have 0 energy or motivation at this point as I said and I think I am just too dumb and my potential is long gone either way. I keep forgetting things that I used to know, sometimes I can’t even understand a Wikipedia article or have to reread it because I got stuff mixed up or whatever, what potential are you talking about? I tend to believe the good one was a different me tbh, I don’t even know what happened. Sidenote:My university classes start in 6 and a half hours so I should probably sleep now…
That's exactly me right now :,)
exactly same for me
Iconic 777: That's a very honest reply to this video, and you're brave to have made it. I can relate to your experiences at college. Keep on keeping on!
Life is long when you're young so have good effective self-care strategies in place and make sure you use them. (Then hopefully you'll be in good enough shape mentally to enjoy your later years...) ❤️ K
1)Mental and emotional disorders
Over analysis
Hyper awareness
2)Stress
3) social burden
Burn outs
4) negative expression
High iq lacks in one place when high in another
5) self esteem rely on others eyes too much
To add to this, it's often difficult to interact with people that don't act/think logically or predictable. It's hard to accept illogical decisions, so working for someone and just accepting slow or impractical methods is rather difficult.
I used to be depressed af at school because i'd get punished for not doing my homework and studies yet I always got 100% without them. On my final year a teacher always ignored me but a student asked why I did not have to do my homeworks while his friend had to do it right here right now. The teacher made me happy since their answer was pretty simple and straightforward but also something I'd have liked to hear long ago, "It is an exercise to help better grades, your friend may need better grades but 'Tom' does not so I do not need to ask more of them. It is unfair but that is how I see things." And I recall he was not liked as a teacher yet he was a nice person and they helped me a bit stay at school when all I wanted was to be done with it and go do something else.
It may be because they teach differently. I also had a few teacher that everybody hated/loved, but me i was just meh, if not against the others opinions.
To make someone intelligent satisfied, you need to put him hard works. Else he just won't listen anything, because it won't change anything anyway.
Meanwhile, the others need average work. Not too easy, so that they still work, but also not too hard, because then everybody will fail your class.
So when a teacher help smarts students, it usually penalize average students, while greatly advantaging smart students.
I think ur teacher is amazing, i like the way he thinks, and i believe that homework r for Strengthening students' abilities, not just to be done like most people sees it
@Vipul Yadav Thanks a lot, it is the first time someone complimented on the net so ill return the compliment and assume you too are a good person. :)
Tf same, i remember i was jst staring at the wall at the math class, and in the exams i be getting the fist mark at the class 20/20 lol, and i was like this is stupid how could ppl not get good marks, the exams were easy asf, i mean to me maybe? Idk
I just get overlords coming up with schemes to take my money.
One of the best decisions I ever made was to shift away from valuing myself based on my achievement and intelligence. Instead, I've chosen to measure my worth based on how much effort I put towards living with integrity and kindness. I don't always succeed, but by placing the value in working towards those goals and rectifying mistakes, I find myself being kinder not just to others, but myself. Compulsive, self-injurous thoughts still occur, but not as frequently and not as strongly. Compassion is a skill that is not dependant on intellect, beauty, athletic ability, or anything time may erase. I hope my epitaph says I was kind. I hope that's how I'm remembered.
Trust Goodness and be brave.
That's quite a nobel goal brother I wish you all the best.
I agree. A couple of years ago i found on Instagram a post that asked if you rather have a stupid child or an evil One. It was a tought choice at First since i didn't want my child to be smart but use it to be mean, not i wanted him to be stupid and living and hard Life. But eventually i realized that out of those 2 i would rather have him stupid, because of the simplex fact that it's not a fault. While being Wicked It Is.
Who Is Your Profile Picture?
Thank You!
I think being regular or playing dumb and actually being smart is intelligent. You're the underrated character and you haven't shown all your cards yet. You don't need to show off your strengths right away
That's because you are not an intellect. This is an impossible proposition for many of us. You are demonstrating one of the reasons we tend to isolate. How can you make a supposition with a lack of expertise in psychology or the capacity to comprehend something without a reference point? Do you believe Hunter S Thompson, Christopher Hitchens, N. Tesla, or Howard Hughes would be capable of doing such a thing?
This demonstrates the disconnect that affirms what we fear- never being understood. It's neither person's fault. This is how it is. Nothing is owed here, but it's real easy to have bouts with the victim mentality. Helplessness comes for the futurists. For those that can accurately predict global changes, they'll never be taken seriously by most. Perhaps that's why the prophet Jeremiah was always lamenting. Ray Kurzweil to Christ have dealt with this very frustration.
And yes, if you are reading this now, you'll almost certainly be dead in 10 years. Buckle up.
Hear that? mikebell4761 says you are not an intellect. His word is law. 😑
@@charbroilin Fair enough, but that's a blessing.
I don’t consider myself as highly intelligent, and yet I have to dumb myself down every day so people understand what I’m saying
👍👍👍
I struggled in school and they thought I might be learning disabled. They took me for testing and a series of IQ tests put me at 130+. My parents were encouraged to skip me several grades and consider pre-college courses but they worried I would become socially awkward so they kept me where I was and actually held me back when I failed a grade do to lack of effort on my part. Long story short, I was never able to deal with most of my peers because their interests annoyed me and we couldn't have good conversations; they didn't grasp anything I cared about, only catching up to me in our late teens and early 20s. By then academic frustration turned to apathy. Now I'm a truck driver who reads a lot of philosophy. I don't do any thinking and I'm happier that way. The sciences that were once passions in my childhood are now just hobbies.
I think burn-out is the scariest thing as someone with "high intelligence". Growing up, I never tried in school, hell, I didn't HAVE to try to get good grades or test scores. I could be absent from school for a whole week and still place first in class. I didn't study- I didn't know how to, actually. But, after COVID, I fell into depression, and school became... Difficult. It was weird. It was terrifying. I felt so stupid. Ironically, my depression caused me to feel stupid, and feeling stupid just made me more depressed. It was an endless cycle. After 2 years of that, I learned to try. I learned how to put effort and I learned how to study (regretfully, I'm still trying to integrate it into my life). The expectations are just as scary though. Everyone just expects you to get it right, and when you don't, they scream and yell at you for getting a 70%.
This is why I avoid academics. Alien bosses and hybrids
It sounds to me like you’re mediocre and neurotic. Doubt highly intelligent
Don’t tolerate people yelling at you over anything. Generally, no matter how wrong you are, the other person is more wrong for yelling at you about it. As long as you aren’t endangering or abusing anyone, there’s no excuse for anyone to be disrespectful towards you. If they think that’s okay, then you need to redefine the terms of your relationship. The first step is not accepting their abuse.
I struggled with the perfectionist aspect for years, to the point of not doing anything due to constantly trying to perfect a design or idea right out of the gate. Growing up, it was always "do your best", and an expectation of first time perfection. The greatest lesson I've learned in my adult life is now "Don't let great be the enemy of good". I don't even remember where I first heard that, but initially I dismissed it as an excuse to turn out half assed results. The more I worked it around in my mind, though, the more I understood that producing something adequate to build off of later is much better than something absolutely perfect but way too late.
I'm still learning to not pass on a good opportunity while waiting for a perfect one. In people, things, events. I always try to make things perfect, but I realized it doesn't make me fulfilled or happy if I get my way 100%
You should check out Aaron Doughty, he changed my life
Bro, I had never felt so identified about perfectionism, every time I did not do my best I thought that I was being mediocre, but in reality it was a good result. It makes you treat yourself very unfairly when you really need to reward yourself, to keep a good mental.
Perfectionism has nothing to do with intelligence. There are also perfectionists that are stupid af
I've said for years, I carry the curse of perfectionism. People say I often overthink things and I am my worst critic, always quoting, "nobody can do it any better than yourself." I expect 110% out of myself and sadly, the same of others. Mind you, a lot of my work is quite outstanding although I think it can always be better. Do I think I'm perfect? Heck, far from it.
When I was growing up, I always hated the double standard against intelligent kids. Kids who were physically faster and stronger than the rest were praised and encouraged, but kids who were smarter could not celebrate their intelligence. We always had to worry about the feelings of the same dunces who bullied us when the teachers were not looking. Back in the day, the kid who could not 'get along' was always at fault. When a fight broke out, they always took the side of the kid who was crying. Parents were often bigger monsters than their kids.
The world is full of narcissists.
It's been decades for me, but I couldn't agree more strongly with the unfair asymmetry in this sentiment. Like my feelings weren't a little hurt that asthma robbed me of running endurance....
I adapted: if ever somebody doesn't get something, I would explain how I got it wrong the same way before (even if I didn't struggle) to build rapport and diffuse any inadequacy vibes. That went really far in college, and in a previous job where I had a scientific leadership role.
Meanwhile, I'm excited to talk to humble intelligent folk - especially those who can top me - without ever feeling inadequate myself. Truly excellent genius is impressive!
Lord
My favorite for me was, well you have it easy because you are smart so your just being lazy. My mom and teachers hated me in school because I would ace tests and wouldnt do homework, teachers would literally change the scoring of homework and tests so homework was worth more than tests in the middle of the semester to show me a lesson. This lowering my grades and turned into heavy mental abuse at home. Highschool sucked so much, being talked down too at home and school for 4 years really messes with you.
I got cursed with both the brains and the brawn.
I threw off the curve and everyone knew it. Then when it came to sports I never was all that interested.
So I was the target for both groups. The Napoleon complex guys try to go after the literally largest guy in the room with insufficient brains. In addition to the jocks being nervous and my disruption to their status in brawn.
The hardest thing for me at least is when you are intelligent or skilled enough to get just about everything right you don't really know how to handle it at all when something goes wrong even a little bit.
Yea same ! I thought it's just me who felt this way
I scored 136 when I was younger and both my parents were very intelligent. However, my parents were also extremely dysfunctional which left me severely traumatized and unable to function normally. I think my awareness and sensitivity made it worse because my parents burdened me with their problems starting at a very young age. They conditioned me to accept their stress and anxiety without complaint or objection. So in my case it was a curse which left me with a lifetime of pain and misery due to childhood abuse. I never really accomplished much in my life. I sabotaged school and every job and every relationship. Only until recently, after getting into therapy and learning to process my unresolved trauma, did I finally finish my degree in physics. I still continue therapy and I am getting better a little at a time. I still work as a security guard even though I have my degree because i get to work alone most of the time and that brings me peace. At some point I hope to work as an engineer which would be a lot more fulfilling.
im 52 now, i dropped out of school at a very young age and drifted through life living homeless, devoid of family and through an endless string of disfunctional interpersonal relationships, im at the point now where i just hate waking up everyday, i honestly feel like i have no place in this world.. a lot of the people i was friends with growing up are all dead now from drug overdoses and other forms of antisocial misadaventure.. amonsgt my peers im like the last man standing and it truly feels like some kind of divine punishment yeah
I’m so sorry what happened to u. I can totally relate to this, intelligence and emotional sensitivity are just two different things and pp need both of them😢
I feel u man, my mom is also always strest, I have a high iq but not that high, and i think the stress is just a thing that comes with your iq
I’m almost in the exact same boat. My parents gave me a beating sometimes multiple a day everyday for 7 years straight and w a near photographic memory… But have dedicated years to learning bout psychology that’s specific to my mental make up and how every aspect of each of my trauma had affected me wether that’s my subconscious behavior or how it’s changed my active thoughts. It has helped tremendously even tho I’m still currently struggling as a 20 yr old that dropped out of HS. My point is try psych help urself. Normal therapy barely helps as barely anybody understands my situation
@Alex Ren I found a therapist that specializes in childhood abuse and trauma.
There is a technique developed by an Olympic coach called "brainspotting" that is based on how our eye sight is connected to primal areas of our brain that are responsible for flight or fight instincts.
Sort of like the saying that our eyes are the window to our soul.
The idea sounds like snake oil and I was highly skeptical at first, but after one session I immediately felt like I was stoned on Marijuana.
Like a very legit high, yet I hadn't smoked pot in over a decade. The effect was like allowing my brain to finally relax and shift out of high gear into neutral. By far one of the most profound experiences I have had in my life.
Try to find a therapist who specializes in trauma and brainspotting.
Might take awhile to find the right therapist but don't give up.
I wish I had a succesful therapy experience in my 20's.
I tried a couple times in my 20's and 30's and the therapist were either incompetent and/or inexperienced.
Unfortunately for me I suffered a long time before getting the help I needed at 50.
Don't wait that long because you can save yourself from many years of unnecessary pain and suffering.
Therapy is not a magic pill but it had helped me immensely once I found the right therapist to begin processing my unresolved trauma.
Timestamps
1). Mental and emotional disorders 0:29
2). Stress 2:21
3). Social burden 3:18
4). Negative impressions 4:34
5). Self-esteem tied to their intelligence 5:14
Hope this helps you out.💙💙💙💙
Edit- I am famous!!!
thanks
for copying
You copied it-
@@Casper_Gh0st ok
@@vihansamvedi7939 uh-
6. Mental click bait is taxing to our souls.
Man I'd rather be dumb and happy than intelligent and depressed. unfortunately I'm dumb and depressed.
I get it, I’m not claiming to be smart, but some days, I actively wish I was DUMBER so that I didn’t internalize and stress about EVERYTHING.
İ feel like the saddest part of being highly intelligent is the fact that you’ll barely meet anyone that understands your complex thinking, why you are critical about everything or your deep emotions. You’ll probably hide your intelligence and play dumb in order to have some people to talk to or you’ll be authentic and suffer loneliness.
I've grown up and still am in a relatively intelligent community, so I may not have to suffer so much as to hide my intelligence. But it's quite sad that it's very hard to find people who can understand the complexity of your thinking.
If you join a High IQ society, you'll spiral further into depression as you'll then learn that these issues aren't really related to cognitive ability. Plenty of High IQ people don't use their brains. The only thing we have in common is our cognitive ability, that doesn't mean we all nurtured it or use it and we definitely don't all think the same...... but you may find your tribe within the tribe
@@danielyuan9862 I joke that the only people I can hold an intelligent discussion with is Me, Myself and I.
This video hits so hard. I have always been highly intelligent, but it does come with huge flaws in my case. I tend to set such high standards for myself, which certainly lead to my depression and anxiety. When I slip up even a little bit, I beat myself up for it (like, *literally* at one point). What's worse is that people around me (like my parents) have high expectations of me as well, so I cannot mess up without getting yelled at or feeling extremely bad.
You know what hurts the most, though? I participate in hobbies that not many people are particularly interested in (where I live, anyway). A lot of the activities and hobbies I like are foreign and not popular in the USA. This makes socializing difficult, ESPECIALLY when I try to get into a romantic relationship. It is way too hard for me to find a girlfriend, here.
If anyone reads this, please do not raise the bar so high so quickly. Take your time to improve and don't trash on yourself for messing up. You'll be a LOT happier this way, trust me.
"The answers to life's questions lie within you."
Don't know who first said this but they're right.
Socializing will be difficult anyway. The only country with mostly intelligent people is Italy, but your education would not be enough for them so...
You should know that some girls have smart heart. Idk how to name that better. If you find a girl curious enough to be interested in your stuff, with wise heart, you'll be happy.
And don't let her go if you get a bit tired of her intelligent dumbness. Just make some space for yourself.
I was smart enough to get one girl, a chef, who was like that. Broke up with her after a year. I miss her.
And after 30 hobbies and science get not that cool as you need to make some money off of em.
The hardest part for me is realizing that I'm on a different wavelength from the average person. That means not only intelligence, but also awareness of the world, myself, and my place in it. It just makes it hard to click with people who give me blank stares or limited feedback. I'm ok now with having a small social circle, but it was tough when I was younger. I am very thankful for meeting a smart, introspective woman who gets me. Never be embarrassed of who you are and just keep searching for your significant other. ✌️
I notice things way before anyone else, process it, and move on to something else. By the time other people notice and mention said thing, I have all but forgotten it and then get treated like I'm stupid for not being concerned with the thing everyone else is concerned about.
Bah! Romance is for fools with hungry egos.
@@TestUser-cf4wjif you can’t delight in something like romance, what chance have you to find happiness in anything.
The outdated Education system is also a problem for intelligent people.
Especially that!
The education system isn't designed to encourage or harness true intelligence. It's designed to produce the next batch of obedient slaves who do as they are told and without question.
Not only outdated but totally wrong and in serious need of replacement
True but it also serves to isolate us from the general populace but be thankful something is in place today. There was nothing in place for me growing up in the rural south in the 50's and 60's.
I've been together with a hi intelligent man for 20 years now and we struggle a lot with all these situations. Mental health is a mess, emotions are a mess. He can explain and predict situations like no one, and it is just awesome, but sometimes it is like dealing with a special needs child.
For us, give a chance for alternative paths in life is working better than trying to fit in. Not easy at all, but...
Hes probably an empath, and taking on everyones energy. Reiki therapy helped me greatly. I was a military air traffic controller for 10 years and took on everyones energy, then took it out on my wife and kids.
Look up High Functioning Autism.
@@dannyarcher6370 That's what I was thinking
@@brendensangster6975 I'm sorry. Thank you for sharing. I hope everything is good now.
Thank you for the insights, guys! We've been thinking about autism, but as I work with autistic children and my last boyfriend is in the spectrum, I don't think it is the case now, according to many tests and observations. His psychiatrist agrees he is between bipolar and ocd (very soft symptoms), but anxiety is the main problem now. The hi intelligence causes a non stoppable thinking and planning, making hard taking practical decisions.
I'm definitely going to look for Reiki, he has benefited himself from it before. And, of course medicine and therapy again.
“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.”
- Nelson Mandela
I like & agree with this statement, thanks for sharing.
My biggest problem is that I have been paired with multiple therapists to try and tackle my mental issues but I am a highly self aware person and usually I self analyze to the point that I just confuse every therapist I interact with. Like I can take a look at my past and pick apart how that may be affecting my current psyche and then explain that to my therapists and they often just end up agreeing and congratulating me on my self awareness but that doesn't fix my mental state and I'm not sure anything ever really will. It's hard to feel like I'm making any sort of progress towards happiness when it seems even professionals are not capable of understanding me. And that's not even a "hey look how smart I am" flex type thing but just how I can best describe my experience.
only you can fix your mental state. Therapists only exist to help you talk through things so you understand them. They are not magic and certainly won't ever help you find happiness or contentment. If what you are doing is not working, change what you are doing. There are tons of actually useful books written by brilliant people that might help far more than talking to a therapist.
Christ on a donkey, this is me right now. I've been through so many therapists, it's not even funny. During the first session with every single one of them, the question of why I am there comes up. My answer is the same. "I am fully aware that my emotional instability is affecting my ability to function on a day-to-day basis. I am fully aware that I must seek help for this. I know that my toolbox for dealing with my emotional state is pretty empty. I just don't know where to start looking for the right tools." And every single time, I get the most confused look from them. It's like they are saying to themselves, "Well, what am I supposed to do with you? You've already done most of my job for yourself!" It is a VERY frustrating situation to be in.
Maybe practicing consistent meditation could help you on reaching a stable psyche. Maybe there are more things to you than you are conscious of, for instance you could analyze yourself more if you acces your deeper conscience. Remembering dreams or lucid dreaming may come handy so you can reorder your subconscious chaos. If you are into more taboo things, pyschedelic mushrooms may show you that which you struggle with in a deep way not seen or thought before. Also talking with people you will normally not talk to, can give a different sort of insight from your usual social circle. End day message is that one is and must be his own guide, his own coach, his own therapist. After your own self aware analysisis, act out in the world your answers and not just reanalize for a better answer or option, stick to your decission or you will remain trying to pick the best indefinetely and not getting done anything for yourself. Remember "fortune favors the bold", dont let a good array of words in form of excuses trap you, dont let well thought language destroy your innerself whom is much more. Best of wishes in your progress,
@@mateoparrado7668 I can appreciate your insight, however a person can only self-analyze so much. A person may at that point desire an outside perspective. For those who seek an outside perspective, no amount of self-reflection will give them what they are looking for.
This is what therapists do. They are a (supposedly) neutral party who can listen and give insight into what a person says they are feeling.
Seek
Always remember that intelligence and Wisdom are VERY different things! I came up with a saying when I was younger that I still live by: "Intelligence is knowing how to make the fire and Wisdom is the foresight not to touch it." ~ Me circa 2012 at age 11
Despite how nice, humble I try to be with people, my intelligence and moral standing still intimidates people and makes them very critical of me. Even my own family kinda puts me in a category of my own.
Is there a reason why you feel like your intelligence intimidates people?
@@Psych2go I can't always have conversations with them (like girls) without them losing interest, acting shady, defensive, or pulling away and we can be talking about regular stuff, nothing controversial. Also when I try to have good conversation with guys who are interested in me, they seem to not have much feedback or much to put into the conversation. My family always makes jokes about how my kids will be geniuses and whatnot, and I'm an oddball. If I make a mistake, it shocks people. Even if I show vulnerability or my raw side, it makes people uncomfortable many times or they're surprised. It's like I'm suppose to be a perfect robot. So along with my sweet/passionate side, people see my stoic side as well. I rarely meet people I can have a conducive conversation or connection with. Usually if I do it's with a much older person like an older man (15-20+); they don't fully understand me but seem to get it more than most others and seem more at my level if you will. I've been told I think differently a lot. Even when I was a teen, the adults in my old church were surprised by my intellect (to God be the Glory).
Yes I can relate to that...
@@Psych2go There is a different standard when it comes to having a high IQ and being female as women are not supposed to be like that.
Sometimes you're too smart to care or feel. And that hurts in life quite a bit
That's a interesting statement, what makes you feel that way?
I know right 🥺, this statement just got me. I recently broke down, I just don't know how to get back up. Even though I look fine on the outside I wish someone really knew.
Fr
@@theno1stnamenolastname362 why are you laughing? 😶.
I've given the Mensa sample test and got a rough estimate of IQ 135. I had trouble forming friendships when I was a kid, but now that I'm older I've found a solution to Foster great relationships. It's honesty and authenticity, right from the very first day you meet them. If I date to marry and not just for a fling, I would say it out loud. It has worked so far, but who knows what the future will bring?
I got 129 in my test as a child. As an adult I find it easier to avoid interactions with other people as I find stupidity is the norm in the general public & this makes me extremely angry. I have very few friends & that's fine for me. Quality, not quantity is best. I don't need lots of people around me to validate myself. I find it difficult to interact with idiots, so I don't bother. I'm happy now. I wasn't when I was a child when interaction & acceptance was what appeared to be important. When I have no option but to interact with people, I remind myself that half of the people you will meet in your life are below average inteligence. Therefore they are blind & unable to understand why they are the way they are. So I bite my lip rather to avoid engaging with them. Works for me.
Hello fellow Mensa member
I really don't think general intelligence tests can be accurate even as a sort of bench mark. Intelligence shows itself in practice more than anything.
You can teach a guy with less than average intelligence how to score well on tests, but you can't teach them how to have more aptitude.
I joined Mensa in two of the places I've lived in my life. The gatherings were always a little weird. After seeing this video I can't help but wonder if it was because of all the low EQ gathered in the room ;)
I got a 125 and I'm 11 , is it sufficient for my age or above?
It's not easy to find a therapist who can work with a highly intelligent person. It took me five or so therapists over 25 years, but I finally found one who can see right through me. I feel so lucky now.
This video practically sums up my life. Since the start of my puberty (today I'm 18) I have asked myself if my intelligence is a gift or curse. People often say to me that they would like to be that smart but I am even more jealous of being treated nicely instead of being pushed from society just because I am smart. I know that I am definitely not perfect and the problem could be in how I act, but after all those years it don't seem to me that I would be such a bad person. Anyway, I am not the type of person to write in comments on yt videos but this one took me personally, so big thanks for what you're doing Psych2go.
OMG SAME
People often want what they do not have and if they would get it, they would find out it is not just a gift but has its negative aspects too. Same for you wanting to be not as smart and being more part of the society. At first you would enjoy the positives, then you would feel bad for being dumb and want to return to high intelligence again.
The way is to accept who you are and work on yourself to understand the differences in people is what makes everyone of us unique and function as a society.
Also I can relate to your situation and I am going trough a similar path. Be proud of who you are, do not let others diminish your worth.
What makes you so smart?
I don't "suffer" with mental illness I embrace it! Can't get any mental help anymore so have to overcome the issues on my own.
I have to work on managing my own ups and downs on my own and I've learnt to do it via reflection. I enjoy anxiety 🙃
Lol same. More like i want more disorders like schizophrenia and dissociative personality disorder. Hehe...
I agree 100%. I was born gifted, and I have a high I.Q. Thank you for your video. I have always hidden my intelligence, so I never became arrogant. I know I do not know everything, and I still have so much more to learn.
Same , everyone says so and a document says i am but I just feel really stupid
Same, I have high iq but very low ego lol. I always fear I'm honna get yelled at or shit for being "egotistical" when it couldn't be further from the truth
Same, but Im not born gifted. I lock up myself for a very long time and focus only on studies. When I try to socialize I end up doing some weird sht or behave the way that hurt people. Also I cant enjoy anything anymore I try to find a logic reason behind everything that I even forgot how to listen to music properly. I just cant stop my brain from overthinking everything to a tiniest detail. + I dont think Im smart at all. I cant even sit infront of desk for 2 hours for a single assignment, I get distracted or zone out after 2 mins
@@nerminiskenderli4656 and @Necron Lord and @Melon Mel. It feels so good to know there are other people like us, and we are not alone. Learning is fun.
oh yeah - the "let me help you" thing allowed me to socially survive highschool!🙄 The most difficult stuff to live with, though, was my family denigrating AND using my intelligence to negatively describe or target me - i.e. "mad professor", "girls arent supposed to be that smart" or the frequent "you're so weird" or "why are you interested in THAT stuff - you're crazy", heck I was repeatedly denigrated for even wanting to go to college! (i only got there, in my 30s! after completely leaving my family behind)
People watch Rick and Morty once and suddenly they say they’re incredibly intelligent
Beavis & BH used to have the same effect on me.
@@wellesmorgado4797 thank you. Was about to recommend the same. Brilliant show actually. I made my gf watch a few episodes so she can understand my need to score. Heh heh heh. . .
Ecclesiastes 1 17:18
17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.
18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.
I love these versicles, and can confirm everything in the video. Am autistic, have always been "smarter than average", but have depression, anxiety, PTSD, awful with interactions, have suicidal thoughts, and am in process of retirement at age 28 due to all that
I have social anxiety since I was a child. I like to isolate myself from people. It was a curse. No one called me dumb but they said I'm mentally sick because of how I act. Sadly, my intelligence turned into a curse.
Same with me, I am an introvert with social anxiety and that's why I have no friend
No you not!! Really difficult to make friend that can understand you. Just like that I'm too isolate myself from people. And only interact with people when it's necessary
I've been told that I didn't live up to my full potential because I lacked the ambition to pursue it. I struggled with this for a while and even started questioning my decisions, doubting myself thinking the way I lived was wrong. I gave it some serious thought and now I can say to all those questioning my decision (including myself sometimes): "Sure, it would be nice if I can live up to my full potential, but I'd rather live a humble life I won't regret than a life pursuing perfection just to meet people's expectation of me... If life is a marathon anyway, I'd rather run on my own pace until the finish line than sprinting for others' excitement only to be burnt out midway..."
The irony is that I can’t even send this to anyone to help them understand me because it’ll just come across as arrogant 😂
As for the "seeking mental help" bit, that's only going with the assumption that the therapist would be perceived as smarter than the would-be patient. Being self aware has a cost when it comes to trying to convey that in ways for others to understand it. Getting someone up to speed on the "why" something is the way it is, or the cause of the problem, is time consuming. And if the therapist isn't properly equipped to address these mental issue, the patient may simply seek to solve it their self. Getting outside perspective can be useful, but sometimes bias in therapists can do more harm than good.
And as for the notion of pushing people away due to pride or arrogance, I wouldn't say that's the full reason. I can't speak for others with higher IQ, but keeping people out is the only way to keep them from hurting their self emotionally. It's not that help isn't wanted, it's that we can't be helped. It's a puzzle that only we understand, and only we can fix. Everyone is good at something, but unless the person is going through or has had the same experience, they can't directly help.
I can certainly relate to this. "Seeking help" is a painful experience as the therapist tends to be working in slow motion or providing an unsuitable suggestion.
This is putting my shitty life on blast. I was born a programming prodigy, now I'm just old. I try to keep people from knowing that I have severe mental illnesses because they're afraid. Then there's trying to fit in socially and act like everything is alright. This video understates the severity of the loneliness and how it twists and warps your mind and leads to the darkest of days. I pray any of you who feel this way to get help. Because it's so painful.
I'm 47 with depression. I've spent my whole adult life convincing everyone I'm fine because, when someone asks how you are, no-one wants to hear that you're not ok. But the thing is, it is exhausting trying to keep up the illusion of normalcy. Taking anti-depressants, 3 different therapists, giving up on anti-depressants, giving up on said therapists, one suicide attempt later, and a couple of close calls and I'm now at the age where I don't care if I offend people. I speak my mind and if they don't like it, they shouldn't ask me or talk to me. I ask myself: "When I'm lying there in the last seconds of my life, will I care that I said something to someone". No, I won't. I largely want to be left alone. I still think that the way I leave this life will be through my own actions, but until then I'm just tired. To anyone who says it will get better, I envy you. To those with an opinion who don't have depression: Just don't. To TacoOblivion: You are not alone, buddy.
who are you to say "they are afraid". acting like you are alright is what is socially "standard". dont do it. be un-standard, be yourself. say "no im not fine today", if they ask why, tell them, if you wish, or not, you decide. may i suggest that you can say something like "no im not fine right now, but im working on it". i know the loneliness you are talking about, i've been there. or am there. for me, what gets me out of the downward spiral, is to focus on a passion i have. Dwelling in thoughts of the past brought me to depressive thoughts. Seeking glory in the future with a passion gives me motivation to keep on keeping on. This is what i want to suggest for you. I cannot tell you how to find it, that is in your hands.
@@gantneba Do you know about bipolar, schizoaffective, and schizophrenia? Yes, people are afraid of me saying that I hear voices telling me things or that I have long conversations with people in my head, but when I try to communicate with the actual person, they tell me they don't know what I'm talking about because I didn't actually have a conversation with them. And being bipolar, my mood was constantly shifting and with it the kinds of thoughts I would have. Everyone slowly abandons you because you can't be consistent or reliable. Nowadays, I take 5 pills at night and 3 in the morning and I function at a low level of independence, but I'm still cared for by my wife often.
Damn right
Just because you're tall, that doesn't mean you have to play basketball. Just because you're attractive, that doesn't mean you have to be a model. If you're intelligent (or if you're not) live life the way that makes you happy. If someone tells you to pursue something--or not to--on the basis of your intellect, state very clearly that you have to the right to pursue whatever you as individual find happiness in, and that's exactly the thing you'll do.
Okay but what if you had the capability of saving thousands of lives with some form of genius invention or cure?
@@Rackcoon929 you still don't have to. It's not your job to do anything but live the life that you enjoy, so long as you aren't infringing on anyone else's rights.
@@DistortedShelf0 so have people die because of your selfishness?
@@Rackcoon929 no, they die because life gave them unfortunate circumstances. It's no one else's responsibility to save as many lives as possible. What, should all "unintelligent" people be police officers, soldiers, firefighters, etc? No, obviously not. Not saving someone's life doesn't make you the cause of their downfall, that "logic" is really reaching.
@@DistortedShelf0 okay but my point was based on intelligent people, any one can be an officer and that, but a very tiny handful of people can create the inventions/ cures
This hit very hard. Thank you for posting this. It is not often that the algorithm shows me anything of relevance or use; but this was an exception.
Thank you again.
I've always been a loner, and it's sad to be this aware.
In the end, nothing really matters. Do not be too hard to yourself, because it is useless.
Exactly, the one I related to is when I was asked what career I wanted to pursue, I said I wanted to be a psychologist and then I was told "I'm not living up to my full Potential" because I'm good at Math and Science
As an Engineer Student turned Paych student, let me just say Psych abt to use everything in your brain & then some just by it being vastly different from the world of 1 s & 0 s. The people who said that you will not be living up to your full potential probably thinks Psych as some hoo-hah. But the moment you realise that you need a mind in everything that you do, & is ready to question your world & everything about it it the search of your truest authentic self, then I say there is nothing more intruiging than the study of humans & our megabyte brains. Though I must say it is not a lifestyle for many given the high depression rate in this career, I will say you wont regret it teaching you many lifeskills and truly open your eyes if you do truly decide to be a student in it.
@@jinijinxer97 thanks
I have a 147 IQ and I have depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety, it makes living life difficult for me and I have panic attacks whenever my routine have slight changes.
Oh how I hate changes in my routine.
I can relate to EVERY SINGLE ONE!!! I have ADHD and Asperger’s and I’m extremely intelligent (I could spell and read by the time I was three!!!) but I have a tendency to get overly stressed over the littlest things. I get extremely defensive over anything. I’m super-aware over everything; I can never focus on only one thing, which makes it difficult to focus on certain things and therefore I get distracted super easily. But being super-aware has actually helped me put quite a few times; it even “saved my life” by helping me notice when a school bully tried to jump on me at one point (that and being able to see out of the corner of my eye.) And since I’m “so different,” I’ve been ridiculed and treated differently my whole life, even by my own parents who keep treating me like a kid despite the fact I’m 31 years old. Yes, I may have problems with financial terms, which is the only reason why I can’t live on my own but they’d rather let me “figure it out on my own” and fail rather than teach me to be successful.
The more you know, the more you realize that you barely know anything.
As Socrates once said, more or less.
One upside is weird honestly. The thing is, I don’t feel emotions like I should, but I just know what I should be feeling and Ty to feel it.
I can really relate to all of this; it's incredible. I have all of this pretty much. I feel like it was speaking to me directly!
This really hits, thanks for making me feel more normal. I just started taking anti-depression meds a few weeks ago. I feel a lot better right now, but still finding my way in life.
Same here boss
I can't figure out whether I actually am intelligent, because although all people tell me that I am, I myself feel pretty stupid quite often...
Have you tried taking a IQ test to see your score?
I once did a test and ‘did not score well’. One of the questions was ‘There are 9 birds in a tree. Two fly away. How many birds are there?’ which I answered with ‘Too many to count, there are a large number of birds on this planet’. My answer was marked as wrong.
@@Psych2go I did. After I was diagnosed with ADHD at 33, I had a colleague at work that is a psychologist and she said many times that I was the "most intelligent person at the company". I never believed that. But one day I took an online test. I was not on my meds, and talking with my parents at the same time, and scored a 128.
Still didn't convince me completely... So I relate with the OP a lot!
@@Psych2go for me personally IQ tests are in itself not good enough for intelligence, they are tests basically of some standard which categorizes people and this categorization in itself is kind of some sort of standard or " creates a box kind of situation " it's like confinement of one's intelligence to certain standards, and the standards makes feel like at one place but being intelligent means constantly evolving , going to upper level or sometimes to down level just explore and gain knowledge. So basically a standardized intelligence test may tell if a person is intelligent or not on basis of some sort of questions , but in those cases where people are trained to solve those questions of intelligence tests only , they are well trained but " not intelligent" in some sense .
I hope I have made some sense
Provide some more insightful thoughts to my interpretation of tests.
@@Psych2go not a professional one, I won't pay money for that. From my experience an IQ test does not really give a lot of insight into the actual intelligence when one is anywhere on the avarage range of the scale. Very dull or very sharp people can be distinguished fairly efficiently throught such tests, but I don't belong to any of those sides of the spectrum.
I tested 153 in High School and wasn’t intellectually challenged until years later. As I get older I realize just how much I don’t know.
indeed, thank you for this video❤❤.
I completely relate to this! Most of the time, people exhibit one of two behaviours when they encounter me - awe/admiration, which results in them instantly placing me on a pedestal, or profound hate and/or jealousy, just for being who I am. And contrary to what one might expect, I'm not an egotistical jerk - my upbringing, centred towards being virtuous, peaceful and an asset to society ended up making me quite a people pleaser throughout high school. Just said yes to everyone to avoid conflict and while helping people was utterly fulfilling, I lacked the emotional maturity to understand how much I was exploited by my peers.
This treatment, in one way or another, ended up making it difficult to develop genuine connections.
I've always found teaching, leadership, management, public speaking and related activities highly fulfilling but had problems connecting with people on a personal level - I was more of a tutor or counsellor to people rather than a friend, an equal.
Helping people is pretty fulfilling, but I did feel lonely and had almost convinced myself that apart from my parents, there are only a couple of people or so, with enough intellectual depth to comprehend my mental state.
I did drive myself into a rabbit hole of overthinking and depression, especially after a breakup a couple of years ago, until a few changes, including coming across Psych2Go have helped me proceed in a better direction! It's been more than a year since I gave up people-pleasing, learnt to say "NO" more often and established a clear distinction between humility and allowing myself to be exploited.
I've also put my risk-averse self behind, up to a great extent, and have started enjoying life in general.
I've opened up to more people and was surprised at the support I got by "letting my guard down". People were always there, I only needed to reach out to them. My friends (Yes, I now have friends in the truest sense of the word! 😌) also motivated me to start working out, which has been one of the best things I've ever done! I'm more motivated than ever to accomplish my goals and I feel complete and a lot less of an outcast than I used to.
Kudos to Psych2Go, love your work! 💙
P.S.: For those who are wondering, I'm an INFJ with an IQ of 172.
Yo you sound like me. I'm an INFJ (very rare) and also share the same interests as you and Tutor. How did you learn how to be humble vs not letting others exploit you?
Well, hello there! For me, overcoming people-pleasing required me to accept that it was a problem - most of the time, I noticed that I let people treat me unfairly, use me, and then found myself compensating for my lack of action by branding my silence as a virtue. A key moment was when my last relationship ended and I realized how spineless I had rendered myself when it came to a few people in my life that I simply couldn't deny at all. So I decided to start small. Just say no to mundane tasks at first. It was pretty hard and my conscience kept tormenting me to revert my decision, but I somehow stood firm. From denying tiny errands that people could easily do by themselves to then saying no to favours that left me drained, it took me about a year to cement this practice. Another thing I'd like to mention is that I started taking action in other avenues in life too. I started working out, disciplined myself, and organized my life to a great extent and am still improving. The complacency that came out of overachieving made me stagnate and turn lazy, so taking action and holding myself accountable made me value myself, and treat myself with respect and dignity. I also happened to come across Dr Jordan Peterson's lectures and my oh my they were just what I needed! Content from David Goggins was amazing too! It also helped that I had a change in environment via joining a pretty good college where most of my schoolmates didn't make it and the new, unknown environment helped me experiment and work on this change in personality without having to worry about emotional blackmail from people I know. Once I got used to the new me, it was easy to play life in hard mode - rejecting the selfish advances of people that were closest to me. I noticed an increase in the respect I got from people (and fear too 😳) and I'm glad to say that 2 years later, no one takes me for granted or rather, I don't let anyone exploit me. At the same time, I rely on my observations and instinct to help people who are genuinely in need of it. I've blocked and discarded a few of the extremely intolerable and toxic people from my past and that has worked wonders! I hope you're able to overcome your barriers too. All the best! 💙
INFP here!
You were an ass to me. Just using my money. My mistake was assuming you would help escape the ruthless parents i had. Only person that did for a while
I feel this, I have to go through a lot, being in a gifted class, and I feel no one is there for me. I sort of suffer from depression (I suffer from various symptoms of major depression, though I haven't broken the two week threshold required to be diagnosed with it) and it's really a lot for me. It feels like life is against me, because I'm expected to do everything correctly, but I'm the worst at everything, but I feel barely anyone can really help me, and I'm scared to ask for help because I apparently live the perfect life, and because of this, I don't need a therapist, or a psychiatrist, or anyone else who would help me up. I always beat myself up for everything, and I just can't do anything about it, because my mentality is always like this. I've too many people, friends and family and such, to live for, so I can't let myself die, and I'm stuck in this infinite loop, all because I'm apparently intelligent, and whenever I have to deal with a situation, I'm just the needy smart kid who wants everything, and I just want to feel normal. I can't tell anyone I feel this way because I can't do anything. I just feel horrible all the time, and the last time I asked my mom about a therapist, about 5 months ago, she said the perfect kid doesn't need therapy. This was a while ago, so I have completely different problems, (The ones I mentioned throughout this comment) but that one discussion leaved me incapable of asking anyone who can help me for help.
I feel you. Recognizing that you are in this situation is a good thing. One thing that helped me in this situation is to find a friend who doesn't have these unrealistic expectations of you and just tell them how you feel about everything. Even if it doesn't solve anything, you don't have as much weight on your shoulders. Another thing that may help is letting go. Let go of people's expectations. If you can't get 150% on a test and they get mad at you for it, that 100% is not your fault. It isn't right for someone to force that pressure on others. You get a 98% on the most advanced class of your grade and they are mad you didn't get 100%, you need to tell them that they have unrealistic expectations and that you already are so great.
In video games, when you max out one stat and leave the rest to rot, you aren't going to do very well in the end. Stop forcing so many points into intelligence and start putting more in emotional stability.
If they can't accept that, they aren't your friends. Find people who really support you.
You are enough, don't let them tell you what you have to be.
@@dandragonx243 Thank you, this honestly helps
@@alubbert i agree with his point. Good that this helps. for me speaking to someone was the most helpful thing i was able to do.
@@gantneba Thank you for the advice, I'm glad people are looking out for me and trying to help
The good news is that you are far from perfect, because NO ONE is perfect! Being highly intelligent does not mean you have to achieve more than everyone else. It sounds to me like you are being raised in a performance-based environment, which is not healthy. Take the pressure off yourself and give yourself permission to BE normal even though your cognitive IQ is not. You are worthy and lovable no matter how much or how little you accomplish in life.
A couple of months, I struggled with overthinking even more than I usually do and I went to seek help. At the same time, I’ve noticed a lot of similarities in me to some symptoms of ADHD. So I talked about that as well.
The therapist was helpful in pointing out that how I display those symptoms is not indicative of ADHD but more of high intelligence. I’ve talked to my parents and they confirmed they got me tested when I was young. I don’t remember the exact score but definitely high enough to be considered intelligent.
What I’d love to see is a video showing the similarities and differences between ADHD and intelligence.
I'll not comment overmuch on similarities versus differences, but I can tell you that ADD/ADHD and Mensa level IQ are by far not mutually exclusive. Moreover, many from EITHER group are quite capable of: being under stimulated by their environment; experiencing social awkwardness; manifesting intensely focused concentration for extended periods of time.
“Highly intelligent” has been used to describe me for a lot of my life. One of the areas I seem to struggle with is when I am in a group learning environment (ie. college courses or job training). When information is being given to the group, many people ask for clarification or to have information repeated. There is nothing (and I mean nothing) wrong with ensuring one’s self fully understands. However, I believe those working with a “higher intelligence” become more bored with the class and therefore we tend to let our minds wander and get distracted from the lesson. What do you think? Is this a possible side effect of higher intelligence?
I got distracted reading this. Thoughts?
I am very much introverted and have always been ahead of the standard for my grade. I was awkward and put up with typical gifted expectations. I learned to just not care. Can't really explain how other than I just forced myself to. I forced myself to laugh smile and talk to people and eventually learned to be more extroverted. I still need time to recharge and prefer small but close friendships. The best thing I learned was to trust my gut, thinking can only take you so far and if you don't know what to do, just do something even if you know nothing about it.
Former gifted child here. I've shared my story a few times in various places, so I'll keep it brief. I had a knack for maths in my early years and gained a high aptitude for science in high school. Pretty much every other subject I had little to no success. The only ambition I ever felt was due to expectations of others and imagined expectation from myself. Due to this and other life experiences, stress was building, and half way through university, depression kicked my teeth in so hard they came out the other end. 9 years or so later, and I still haven't fully recovered and probably never will as my problems are too deep-rooted and my world view is heavily intertwined with my problems.
I cruised through school until l got into uni. The problem with being gifted is that we never learn how to study or put in effort to learn. In our younger years that's not an issue, l could pass almost any exam without ever opening the book or top the class having opened it the night before. But, get into uni and suddenly you need to be an independent learner who studies and put in effort outside of classes, it should be easy for us, but because we never had any reason to develop study skills it can be incredibly hard.
These days some psychologists think being gifted should be considered a developmental or learning disability, while we are more than capable of learning, we can't learn the skills we will need later in life by just going through the regular school system, we need to be taught in different ways that challenge us while we are still young.
In terms of coming to grips with personal failure, l've taken to considering myself incredibly stupid and it has totally changed my outlook both on life and towards myself. After being told how smart l was all my life and proving it many times, l have never come close to living up to the expectations l set for myself, so l decided l must be stupid and if lm stupid then l can't blame myself for my failures. It sounds weird but it really has helped a lot to get rid of the guilt and self hatred.
The thing that still gets me though is how much stupider most people are... Like yes lm stupid, but holly crap some people must have a lot of unused space in their heads.
never say never my friend. you need to learn how to ground yourself and destress. eser said then done ofc but there are many practices like meditation. also listening to people like sadhguru can help.
i cant stand math but i love stuff like quantum mechanics and other fields. duse to some life sircomstances i cant get any jobs that would make me happy so my depression is from the thought of becomming homeless cause i cant just do macdonalds for a living.
however i do love helping people so if you ever wana chat, let me know
I can relate to this. For my part, I've always had a pretty good ability to learn/adapt so I ended up being more of a jack of all trades rather than a specialist. I still developed a very clear interest in computers while paradoxically having an aversion to maths (now fixed). People have always expected me to go into the CS field, which I ended up doing, only to realize later that I don't fully enjoy it as a job. I'd tinker with niche techs or try to understand lower level programming for hours on end but if you ask me to make a website, I'd be like: "Oh boy, what a chore".
The constant feeling of not being understood, not being seen for who I am, having accute empathy while being faced with emotional indifference or having to pretend being dumber as to not be cast aside (which did happen many times anyway) has led to deep depression that I've struggled with for years, and still do today even if it got better.
I have had to grow a lot more stoic because of all these factors otherwise I wouldn't be able to live relatively normally today.
Gifted 😂 flesh, blood, cells, DNA same as everyone else.
@@mrnice7570 I know. I wasn't saying I considered myself gifted, everyone around me did.
High Intelligence is a gift for me and I am grateful for that,during childhood it was more like a challenge to me,I learnt many social skills at that age and when to truly use your intelligence..Overall I am grateful
🤓🤓🤓
The more and more I watch your videos the more I'm seeing the truth in everything. Thank you for your content. I've been watching for the past 3/4 years, but until tonight I haven't left a comment. Thank you for producing this so that others have access to this..
Of the many different kinds of intelligence (pattern recognition, musical, emotional etc) the classic pattern recognition / mathematical IQ has a tendency to get you bullied in school, envied by peers and rejected by potential partners.
Above 160, the region where specialist IQ tests have to be designed because the standard ones don’t work, people often feel isolated from society and from their colleagues and peers. Specialist organisations and clubs do exist, such as the 999 society, but people in that range often do not ‘play well’ with each other.
I would happily drop 50 IQ points for a quieter life and more connection with my peers.
C'mon bro, you can't even spell Stephen, :P
@@stephencurran1164 So? I
This video totally suits me. I'm a high IQ person who usually takes people's constructive criticism too personally and I ended up not becoming the best student high school. Nowadays, I'm teaching math to people as a way to express my intelligence
that's dope how you're a teacher now, bro
@@hawkwomanh614 emotions about inputs from the outside and your reactions have nothing to do with being smart... you can be pretty smart and still take things to heart or overreacted when criticized... Knowing how to work with inputs like feedback and staying calm about it is a life-long learning...
Time stamps
0:32 mental and emotional disorders
2:22 stress
3:19 social burden
4:35 negative impressions
5:15 self esteem tied to intelligence
As someone who is in the genus range and has ADD these are so true. The pressure to preform is so high that’s it’s almost debilitating.
Sometimes i don't like having quite good intelligence, i feel bunches of pressure, i'm isolated quite alot, i have quite massive stress, anxiety and i may stress for some simple details for hours, it's not so fun as some people may think
First, thank you soooo very much Psych2go for this video. As a diagnosed highly intelligent person, who is regularly confronted with many of these aspects, this video gave me hope so that other people, who may not know how it feels like to be intelligent, now know a little bit more about the downsides.
I would like to give an advice for those intelligent people out there, who may be struggle seeing the good parts of being intelligent,
Most important, know that you are not alone. Many struggle and yes sometimes it is very hard to not see the burdening part. I myself know how difficult it can be.
Maybe try to find people who are also highly intelligent. Sometimes talking to those, who know how it can feel like, really helps.
Most countries have websites and organisations, who try to connect people and also share awareness and information about the topic of being an intelligent human being.
I hope, I could encourage some of you, to try and seek contact with others, and know, that you are not alone.
Glad this video could help you find support! Yes, definitely seek out communities out there who may be going through similar challenges :)
This hits hard on so many levels. Ouch.
I can totally attest to this. I just "woke up" from a 35 year long childhood trauma that was caused by all the great expectations in early childhood and my highly sensitive empathy, that caused me great anxiety and at some point my brain was overloaded and locked away the empathy together with many negative emotions, which steered my entire life up to now. The one thing i cant relate to in this video is getting help during that time, the deep shame and feeling of inadequacy i felt prevented me from doing so. Its completely gone now and am as outgoing and open as it gets.
Now that my authentic self finally arrived, my personality shifted entirely and in many aspects i am almost the opposite from before, the way i always wished to be. My thinking and speech improved drastically and i have gained inner calmness and balance and full self confidence. But i have to get used to this highly sensitivite empathy now, it can get quite scary and overbearing sometimes.
For anyone struggling: the hardest but best thing i ever did was to challenge my emotions, let them spill out no matter what they are without fighting and open up to another person. The rest happens all by itself. Also always listen to your gut feeling, its a lot more important, than people realize. Ignoring that for too long can cause mental health issues and then external health problems.
I can attest to all the struggles you describe. "High intelligence" is so narrow an area of life to have the impact that people led me to believe throughout my life. I appreciate the ability but the costs are so high and, at 30, I'm really only just starting the journey to pay that cost and start putting my ability to better use. I don't appreciate a society that is not in any way inclusive of outliers, in spite of how much it relies on them.
Ha I’m a relatively intelligent guy, but I’ve found that displaying it regularly (at least in primary school) just added expectations on me that I wasn’t particularly inclined to fulfill. I love making music and writing novels, but somehow ended up in the engineering program in college simply because I’m ‘smart’ and it was expected. My life went sideways and I got mentally ill, and the same thing is happening with me at the hospital (taking IT support in college though I have no desire to go in the first place, but I want to go home so I acquiesced). Just let people be people man
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find your way in life!
Yes people will push you in certain directions for sure.
It take a lot of courage to accept that you can't do everything and sometimes it's okay to ask for advices or help. The only way I personally understood that is by having a visual handicap I will be scared with for the rest of my life. It's annoying but someday I will have to cope with it and adapt more than I already do
Stanley kubrick said the biggest mistake in schools is using fear as a basic motivation. Fear of not staying with your class fear of failing grades. Interest can produce learning on a scale with fear as a nuclear explosion compared to a firecracker. Think the word compared wasnt in there.
it does get hard, i did multiple test growing up as a kid and found then i had an IQ of 130. but stress of school life, being bullied and 2 traumatizing relationships..... i've grown up issolated and depressed so would have lost a few point over the years....resulting in decades of socially anxiety that pretty well "crippled my social life".....working on it.
With the right stimulation it returns.
I must say quite relatable.
What 130 is genius? I did take a test in 2019 i think and I got 158
@@edcalwag7387 their mensa seems a little off, usually around 140 +
@@edcalwag7387 130IQ correspond to being in top 2.5%. 130iq is usually the treshold retained to consider someone as "gifted" or "very advanced". Keep in mind that IQ test are designed to asses a limited set of brain abilities and are not an absolute indicator of how intelligent/capable someone is.
The pressure of family & scholastics... There is a solid corillation between high IQs and ADHD. This is a huge factor because the adhd hinders us in ways our family /school don't understand and pressure us with, you can do better then this, your not trying hard enough, your just being lazy /stubborn! This corillation should be looked at as well, maybe a topic Idea? Great video though. Had me in tears as it hit close to home so to speak.
People mistake confidence with intelligence... Highly intelligent individuals are highly anxious than the average person.
I disagree. Some intelligent people that also has high emotional intelligence can ”outsmart” the system where many gets stuck. If you’re a good strategist (iq) and understand yourself as well as others feelings and reactions you will be ablw to consistently put yourself in positions that shows you that life is pretty good
@@adrian5721Not true.
There may be an infinite number of ways to take advantage of a system, but if taking advantage of that system doesn’t align with a person’s values, then the opportunity may as well not exist at all
There is more to life than intellect alone
calling playing the system smart shows you are not as intelligent as you would like to be. because you completely missudged the situation: thinking its all about you and to make yourself the best life is not the result of intelligence in fact its the result of missing emotional intelligence. yeah you can be king, but at what price? also most of the times kingdoms end in revolutions... if you dont understand that people dont like you for playing them... then you are maybe not as intelligent as you think you are
@@dimitralex1892 & @ORDlNANCE we still might disagree and that's fine, but I phrased it poorly last time around. What I so sloppily referred to as the "system" is the human psyche. If one has a deep understanding of what causes certain emotions to arise in oneself as well as in others, and that you can develop a fascinating level of control over your own but only influence others you can sail pretty smoothly without having to manipulate others. And this goes for everything from the most basic day to day interactions to work related projects, political discussions and relationships.
I'm not saying that I'm extremely intelligent, but let's entertain "you can be king, but at what price?". If I were to become "king", it's not because I manipulate people or "play the system" every time the opportunity arises. It will be because I make the best out of every situation where others typically let their emotion blur their clarity or fail to understand what the "no-go-comments" are for different people. Emphasis on "comments", not opinions.
I didn't intend to write an essay so I will try to be short in this last part (directed to Dimitralex). If you fail to understand that you can have mutually beneficial interactions with people of different intellect & world views/opinions without betraying your morals then maybe we we're both not as intelligent as we would like to believe :)
@@ORDlNANCE I tried giving you a response and at the same time responding to the other guy.
I elaborated on what you took as "taking advantage of the system". But I agree with your comment about the opportunity not really being there if it doesn't align with ones values.
However, more often than not (depending on your line of work, some tasks doesn't offer compromise at all) you will be able to optimize without having to compromise your values. By 'optimize' I mean for both parts involved. There is HOW you talk to a person and understand their "communicational needs" and then there's the respective goals of each party which can or cannot be reached as a result of your interaction without compromising your values. If not, more opportunities will arise where it is possible for you and others to "progress" simultaneously
I have a high/above average IQ and I have noticed the side effects of that over the course of my life. People tended to treat me differently due to me being the quiet one in the group and I was always very observant always having to look over my shoulder to make sure the next ass kicking was not around the corner. I kept track of how people moved, how people behaved and different situations and I became (in my eyes) an expert on body language by age 9 or 10. I never had a lot of friends and the friends that I did have I either had fillings outs with or we just grew apart as time went on. These side effects are not all bad though me watching everyone (and I mean everyone) and seeing how they responded on different situations made me also keep track of what people did when they were very confident and charismatic and I try to implement that into my life as much as I can, I notice that I am respected as that (occasional) quiet kid now, the key? Keep a steady frame, respect is heavy, if your frame is fragile you will crumble under the pressure to perform up to it. Learn to fight, no person (especially man) can defend his ideas and family while being physically weak and fragile, get in shape and learn to fight. And lastly, adopt black and white thinking, the curse of the intelligent mind is that is runs 100 miles a second and the simple thoughts might seem overwhelming, black and white thinking can (when warranted) ease the decision another thing that helps with decision making is stoicism but that is a whole different topic.
My IQ is 150 and I suffer from schizoaffective disorder. I most struggle with the fact that I have much less social awareness and experience than others. They somehow expect me to meet up the standards but I normally just screw at social gatherings. It's very paradoxical for others.
As a fairly intelligent person, the idea that higher intelligence tracks with decreased stress mitigation in the brain makes a lot of sense. My own situation eventually developed into a defense mechanism that helped greatly in deaing with the ostracism of those who couldn't accept someone who was different than them, and I took on a Bhudda-like attitude, no longer caring about others opinions. Unfortunatly, this only deepened into antisocial behavior in the form of avoidance, and every incident that would pirce the walls I had erected only deepened my desire to keep my distance from others. This has now gotten severe enough that I find it nearly impossible to even seek out gainful employment, and it has become opposed by a deepening loneliness. We all have difficulty making friends as adults, but for those of us who had difficulty making friends to begin with, it becomes a real struggle just to find value and meaning in daily life.
I hope your able to find some people you can share hobbies and interests with soon. As a person who never had issues making friends, I was already extreamly independent and lonely. I'm introverted and semi-antisocial. If your not a close friend I avoid all conversations and small talk if possible. It's not an ego thing, I just don't see the point in small talk most of the time. I usually do it for other people to feel accepted in an environment. But I also have a couple of very close friends who think similarly, They're people I can rant to, people I can feel at peace with, I always tense up with anyone around me even if I know them. The only way I won't is if we have a deeper bond. Anyways I think you should continue being yourself, and eventually someone smarter will come around and see your value as a friend. Out of all my thinking, trying to make sense of the world around us and our emotions, I truly think loneliness is the hardest thing to overcome. It can alter your life so much if you don't gain control of it. As an introvert loneliness is something I've grown to be ok with, but after a long time, it still starts to swallow you up. Good luck on your journey 🤟
School always bored me to tears. Until I reached a few late high school/late college courses, I breezed through with minimal effort. That usually led to my ADHD getting me into trouble. I had a college-level reading comprehension skill in 3rd grade and could do complex high-school level algebra in 4th. Anything they had to teach me made perfect sense and, with a slight bit of practice, I was bored because it was easy. Then I hit calculus. Calculus has never made sense in my head and I’ve attempted to study it multiple ways from multiple sources. It just doesn’t click. That honestly destroyed my self-esteem for a long time. I was always one of the smartest people I knew until I wasn’t. That’s when I started shifting into using my book intelligence less and focusing on social intelligence (psychology, sociology, social patterns, etc). It’s my favorite subject now. People are so predictable, and it’s amazing to see how little tweaks to environments and stimuli can completely change how they interact. All of this to say, if you’re reading this and you don’t think you’re smart anymore because you always have been but something doesn’t make sense to you, it’s not that you’re not smart. You’re probably wicked smart. Some things just aren’t gonna click for you. And that’s okay. Do what you can to avoid those things and survive them if you must. Focus on learning what makes you happy and you’ll be always have a great time
This reminds me of a conversation i had with a friend recently on he subject of how intelligent people often times want to use what they know to help, but lacking the emotional intelligence to apply it properly. It's really hard to pull oneself out of their natural state of beind result-driven when it comes to other people's lives. That's not always our friends' and loved ones' goal. They aren't always trying to find a quick, scientific solution to their problems. It can hurt when we try to help at times or in ways that it jist simply isn't asked for.
No matter who you are or what type of mind you have, it will always be a challenge to see eye to eye with people who see the world differently than you. As hard as it can be when you're excited and want to help, a little bit of patience and listening can go a long way. Even at times when i still don't understand where someone is coming from I try to draw myself a story in my head that might make me feel similar so that i can at least try.
I tend to try to do the same thing by putting myself in their shoes and seeing myself from their perspective so I can try to figure out what the best way to emotionally handle the situation is and what kind of support they need.
My IQ is somewhere between 125 and 150, and I’m an Empath. I’ve had a very difficult time dealing with this. I was good with figuring out social situations and adapting but became exhausted after.
You're not the only one.
I’m an empath too. It’s so draining.
I am a 30 yr old African American,during my childhood I would be trying to explain logic and reasoning to my friends. I knew my thoughts worked very differently. I would have these deep self monologues that nearly drove me crazy 😆 I also won a state writing contest in the 4th grade. I have a 145 IQ. It’s okay to be different,self acceptance comes with time.
I have deep self monologues all the time. I only have a 126 IQ, so nothing crazy, but I'm HIGHLY interested in logic, and I find it difficult to succeed in a capitalist society where logic is not only undervalued, but downright a near disadvantage unless you can figure out an idea that will lead to generating TONS of revenue. Unfortunately, I'm not creative enough to do that, so generating revenue has been extraordinarily difficult for me, and I feel like I don't even exist to the world most of the time. Life has really sucked as a somewhat intelligent person living in a world full of extreme delusion and bullshit!
@@yk-who-it-is I would say this. The objective goal of education should be to learn a skill that can help contribute positively in some way to our overall goal of understanding the nature of our reality in order to manipulate it to our collective benefit.
STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are our best tools for understanding existence and using that knowledge to build better tools for learning more and, subsequently, developing products and services that transform our lives. Figure out what inspires you and go AT IT!
I have a verified IQ of 139. Experiencing a "dark night of the soul" and "ego death" type existential crisis is a gift I wish I could give to the world. Self-awareness is truly crucial for navigating social situations.
I'm recovering from burnout and getting ready to return to work without being off-putting (know it all here. Unintentional).
For any parents or educators that feel comfortable labeling a child gifted or similar, assume that child has special needs, because they do.
EDIT: Are we deleting comments after leaving comments? Leave them up for posterity. We're all aware that knowing that we don't know shit and owning our mistakes and learning from them is true intelligence.
Even crappy jokes like needing a lobotomy to achieve a 140 IQ. Now, is that a crack at MY intelligence or did you mean you'd need a lobotomy to believe that your IQ is 140, when in reality you're drooling in a corner?
I need context. Come back and finish the joke!
That last paragraph: you're so right...
It does not mean anything... If you watch Mr. Ballen's channel, you will see one story where the allegedly "most intelligent vvohman ever" died doing a very stupid and dumb thing.
Damn, that last paragraph. for anyone reading this; you have no idea how absolutely right he is.
@Rollo Tape I do stupid shit all the time. The difference is knowing when you're doing stupid shit and not just briefly questioning whether or not what you intend to do is stupid, therefore consequences.
Except in navigating social situations, it takes so many more steps to appear “normal”
When I was 4 as apart of the testing figure out my mental illnesses they found I met the baseline for genius level IQ, I also of positional defiance disorder, so I found and often still do find I feel like everyone around me is an idiot and I don't have the power to do anything about it.
It’s weird to write below a UA-cam video that you are intelligent but I really relate to all of the points in this video. Being in high school, I don’t have real friends because people either want to be with me for the copy of my homework or because they don’t want to feel “less intelligent” besides me.
Teachers always praise me and most of the students know me as the “straight A girl” which put me under a lot of pressure to always do better and prove that I’m worth that title.
(Sorry for bad English it’s not my native language)
just learn it duh
Lol it's OK to admit to being smart.
To be fair, doing good in school doesn't mean you are smart. I did good as well and I think I'm probably average. I never studied or even really read any of the books, but I figured out patterns to get through. I didn't get straight A's, but with my minimal effort, my GPA was well over 3.5 and I even got a STEM field college degree the same way.
Also, you can have friends you just have to learn how to chill out a little bit and have fun. I don't have a ton either, but I am a lot better at being social than I used to. Find a social butterfly friend and do stuff that sounds terrible (unless it is dangerous) to grow. When you are scared, just talk. Fail and learn.
And when people always wanted answers from me, I was just like "Nah man, I don't share answers. I can try to help you out though." Be chill but assertive, don't let people take advantage. Sorry for the long comment but I felt like some things may be similar between us. Your comment sort of reminds me of myself in high school.
Its not weird at all, you'd be hard pressed to find any
Comment section where the participants don't feel
That they're above average intelligence.
Three words you'll never read in a comment section "I don't know".
The Dunning-Kruger effect
I am one of these people, and almost all of this resonates with me. Everything from increased burden, to sometimes coming across as arrogant when I'm done playing social games or playing nice. I know what I know, and I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong.
Im pretty smart but im working on being not so lazy and i feel i get a lot more nervous around everyone and not just people i like
I feel as this video really matches me.
Im trying ro learn way more then I can and is bad at social stuff, Im trying to help yet people think I am just showing off.
But sometimes I can try and take a break, even though I have a huge test to a project I want to get into.
If you feel way too stressed, take a break, you aren't in a race.
Being known as intelligent can do a lot to person - negatively. As stated, like upholding high standards for yourself or others so they don't think bad of you. Or, not being smart in every aspect, for example, being brilliant at Maths and less at English. Or, the constant struggle to adapt your mental capabilities, especially at a younger age, so everyone can see that you are still intelligent. I am very glad someone is able to communicate this all onto a wide media platform.
I think to an extent it goes the other way around too though. Smart people are and in my opinion should be held to a higher standard but also when you hold a higher standard most folks can rise to it if they're motivated.
It doesn't take a generally brilliant mind to become educated or trained in something, but regular people who have been equally practiced at something generally won't have an issue holding their own against a smarter individual of the same level of practice.
Not really
@Antonio Yeats Potential isn't a real thing. It's an imaginary projection coupled with expectations. The only person who can judge if someone is truly living up to their potential is the individual themselves. Yes, those with skills and ability do have a responsibility to contribute in ways others can't. On this I agree. However, there is often a disconnect between what someone else sees and what you see about yourself. Society only ever sees the public face of an intelligent person. But there are all the parts that aren't public. Disabilities, crippling mental illness, trauma, physical maladies, financial issues, etc. Intellect is not the panacea to any problem that pop culture thinks it is. You can't think your way into feeling loved. You can't think your way out of anemia or depression or anxiety or PTSD. Many mental illnesses are actually exacerbated by high intellect. High intelligence can also make it difficult for the brain to take a break. Rumination, replaying traumatic events, overthinking, and more can all contribute to crippling a person's ability to function. And intelligence makes it harder to stop these things because the smarter someone is the more they're thinking, and repetition of thoughts reinforces the neural pathways. In other words, it's easy for smart people to get trapped in mental illness, and the more intelligent, the harder it is to break out of it.
@@The_Viscount
What a load of generalized 🐄 💩.
@@The_Viscount sure potentials a thing xD we all have potential bud. Seems like a bit of a sementic game you're trying to play.
Being very smart helps with pretty much everything. Including mental health. 🤷 ability to sort out your own shit is a thing. Just gotta work on it earnestly and take the responsibility for you own life and mind.
A lot of people mistake their intelligence or physical prowess or empathy or whatever great gift they have for making them somehow special xD it doesn't. People are people and they have families to build and jobs to get done. Hard working people are the best, hardworking and kind people are the best of the best. Anything else just feeds that potential or its a waste.
I've struggled most of my life, pretty much gave up in my early 30s, turned to booze and drugs and basically copped out from any aspirations in life.
The one thing that kept me going was music,playing guitar. Now , in my late 50s, I've been focused on that. The last 5 years I've been working as a cleaner (I'm very good at it...) building a social life, being nice to people. Also medication (Duloxatine) has helped a lot.
A comment below really struck- knowing when to shut up. So true.
Good luck to anyone struggling. Don't be arrogant,you were born lucky.
Being highly intelligent and being around a lot of people is an abominable combination, because you are just one of many assets people feel like they own; often times, I find that even I have to remind people that not all my hours can be bought, some things matter more to me than money; people will invade your space and boundaries to get you to do things. If people don’t solve their problems, they will always be dependent on someone else for something they can do for themselves. I’ve learned to work with groups, but it’s difficult to find the right ones due to my location. All my life I thought most people were much smarter on average; I think most of us here has come to find that we were a tad wrong 😅
You nailed it! I was bored at school. As result I didn’t do well. But I excelled in my career in a very complex industry. My bosses recognized my ability and though I had only a high school education I was assigned jobs held normally by engineers and scientists with advanced degrees. When it came to math, I out performed every one including Ph.D. Scientists and engineers. I just hadn’t been to the schools or had the sheep skins to go with it.
r u boomer though ser? Not sure if younger folks in todays world can pull taht off, they'll likely never get a chance despite their abilities sadly.
You were lucky....most places want to see that expensive piece of paper. How did you learn your math skills?
@@vincentkingsdale8334 math was a language I understood. I learned from my father and then a personal tutor. But more advanced math skills were shared by work colleagues with advanced degrees including at our R&D center. But these were all for specific needs. I taught myself by buying textbooks and practicing examples and skills. It became a passion.
I've always felt in the very awkward middle. Somewhat more intelligent than average people and it causes me to overthink, understand both sides of maany arguments and not picking sides and getting frustrated with stupidity, but at the same time I'm certainly not smart enough to actually use my intellect in circles of exceptionally smart people.
In all honesty, I would GLADLY be dumber. It would likely come with the kind of peace of mind and joy in simpler things and a bliss of ignorance I have always dreamt of, but my brain is just a chaotic mess of... too much awareness about everything, too sensitive to pick up things and now struggling with anxiety and social anxiety...
That, or my brain is just somehow too restless and overactive for some reason. Certainly not something I'd brag about.