My ex broke up with me a day after we attended friend's wedding. Probably a trigger of not wanting to commit. We were together 4 years but his reason for break up was that we were from 2 different countries and it could not work.
As Alexis already said, they might have rationalised the reason. But there are deep unresolved fears that have probably caused this, that have nothing to do with you. The right and mature partner will try to work things out with you and try and understand their own feelings. I am really sorry this happened to you, this must be incredibly hard. However, what is good about this is that now there is space for a partner who actually wants to show up and work through things with you and fight for your relationship together
We were talking for a year and finally decided to meet up we met up three times cause long distance and I was so scared and traumatized that I self sabotaged my chance with him … he broke up with me and blocked me everywhere…. I wish I could turn back the time a d behaved differently 😢
Everyone talks of using NC...but what do after NC and you try to renew contact. How often should you contact and how much do try? After my NC the conversation has been positive, just trying to build momentum. I don't want to try too much, nor do I want to be just friend. Obviously, I am at the point if it doesn't work it doesn't work. I want to make one last effort to give myself a clear conscience that I tried everything to make it work with my FDA.
What if we broke after 8 years and got tired of waiting for me and in the end a friend of mine started dating him and they are seeing each other.will he ever come back?I feel like I handed him someone new to be with and she doesn't care and was glad to snatch him up.
together for 9 years, and she broke up 5 months ago to be with a guy she met walking the dog. she moved to another house 5 mins away from here. they are still together, but today she asked if i wanted to come over to check out the new rooms of our 2 kids. what should i do, or how should i think about this ?
If someone breaks up with you and tells you a reason, take it with a pinch of salt. The real reason is that they just don’t want you! You have to value yourself more than having this person. Why would you want someone who doesn’t see your value? It doesn’t matter how much time you’ve been together
That's not true. Plenty of people break up with someone they love because of a sticking point. I did and I miss him so so much but he wouldn't make time for me so it felt like he didn't care. One day a week isn't enough to develop a true relationship. I had to walk away because being alone hurts less, but if he came back to me and started to prioritize me and make time for our relationship to grow then I would 100% be willing to try again.
I’m watching this right now because I need to sleep and I can’t sleep LOL !
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It is not attachment style, it is not mid-life crisis. They are only not attracted = you the dumped one is not attractive to spend time with. It is much easier then you think and much cheaper.
@@AlexisFriedlander I know that ATTRACTION is not your field.. (it is more pick up artist, #redpill field). But could you do a NON-SIMPING ;) vid about attraction. Attraction behaviors can be summarised as DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). Do you know Mystery Method and his work about DHV? It is the main reason why people get together and drop the relationship. DHV vs DLV.
I have a question...why is it, while at retreats, I can't laugh and have fun, but only the chosen few are allowed to laugh and joke? How would I handle something like that?
Never mind… something off the subject of couples! Just trying to find insight on why some people in a group are allowed to joke and have fun but they treat others like shit and shun some out of the conversation 🤷♀️
@@AlexisFriedlander Thank You Alexis....So in my case I need to just shut up because the bully won't let me communicate anyway.....Doesn't seem like I would have very much fun at that retreat anymore. But....I hate to give them what they want.
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@@beanie0718 If you do it, you are codependent and people pleaser (= looser)
Fantastic content! 🙏 Love the tools you share Alexis
My ex broke up with me a day after we attended friend's wedding. Probably a trigger of not wanting to commit. We were together 4 years but his reason for break up was that we were from 2 different countries and it could not work.
This could be a trigger, he definitely has other (probably unconscious) reasons
As Alexis already said, they might have rationalised the reason. But there are deep unresolved fears that have probably caused this, that have nothing to do with you. The right and mature partner will try to work things out with you and try and understand their own feelings. I am really sorry this happened to you, this must be incredibly hard. However, what is good about this is that now there is space for a partner who actually wants to show up and work through things with you and fight for your relationship together
I bet he's older and wants a family
I was with mine for 7 years, i bought a house, we started to treat it like it was gonna be our home, he bailed very soon like a month after. 18:20
We were talking for a year and finally decided to meet up we met up three times cause long distance and I was so scared and traumatized that I self sabotaged my chance with him … he broke up with me and blocked me everywhere…. I wish I could turn back the time a d behaved differently 😢
Everyone talks of using NC...but what do after NC and you try to renew contact. How often should you contact and how much do try? After my NC the conversation has been positive, just trying to build momentum. I don't want to try too much, nor do I want to be just friend. Obviously, I am at the point if it doesn't work it doesn't work. I want to make one last effort to give myself a clear conscience that I tried everything to make it work with my FDA.
What if we broke after 8 years and got tired of waiting for me and in the end a friend of mine started dating him and they are seeing each other.will he ever come back?I feel like I handed him someone new to be with and she doesn't care and was glad to snatch him up.
together for 9 years, and she broke up 5 months ago to be with a guy she met walking the dog.
she moved to another house 5 mins away from here.
they are still together, but today she asked if i wanted to come over to check out the new rooms of our 2 kids.
what should i do, or how should i think about this ?
If someone breaks up with you and tells you a reason, take it with a pinch of salt. The real reason is that they just don’t want you! You have to value yourself more than having this person.
Why would you want someone who doesn’t see your value? It doesn’t matter how much time you’ve been together
That's not true. Plenty of people break up with someone they love because of a sticking point. I did and I miss him so so much but he wouldn't make time for me so it felt like he didn't care. One day a week isn't enough to develop a true relationship. I had to walk away because being alone hurts less, but if he came back to me and started to prioritize me and make time for our relationship to grow then I would 100% be willing to try again.
The fruit- action quote is from Bhagvad Gita (ancient Hindu scripture) and delivered by Lord Krishna
Nice cat
I’m watching this right now because I need to sleep and I can’t sleep LOL !
It is not attachment style, it is not mid-life crisis. They are only not attracted = you the dumped one is not attractive to spend time with. It is much easier then you think and much cheaper.
It's a common reason
@@AlexisFriedlander I know that ATTRACTION is not your field.. (it is more pick up artist, #redpill field). But could you do a NON-SIMPING ;) vid about attraction. Attraction behaviors can be summarised as DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). Do you know Mystery Method and his work about DHV? It is the main reason why people get together and drop the relationship. DHV vs DLV.
I have a question...why is it, while at retreats, I can't laugh and have fun, but only the chosen few are allowed to laugh and joke? How would I handle something like that?
Not sure I understand your question
Never mind… something off the subject of couples! Just trying to find insight on why some people in a group are allowed to joke and have fun but they treat others like shit and shun some out of the conversation 🤷♀️
@beanie0718 it's simply a question of ego. Bullies are simply deeply insecured
@@AlexisFriedlander Thank You Alexis....So in my case I need to just shut up because the bully won't let me communicate anyway.....Doesn't seem like I would have very much fun at that retreat anymore. But....I hate to give them what they want.
@@beanie0718 If you do it, you are codependent and people pleaser (= looser)