Lessons from the Camino De Santiago - Is it always good to finish what you started?
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- Опубліковано 4 сер 2024
- Is it always good to finish what you started? I had run out of time, so I decided to stop walking on the Camino de Santiago, but it taught me lessons. In this video, I will share the lessons I picked up from this journey and my formula for how to relax.
I am very thankful for all your support in this burnout recovery journey so... join me for a quick tour of the plaza too!
🎞️Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
0:36 I stopped in Spain
0:47 Lessons I learned along the way
1:18 Tour of the Plaza
2:05 The Formula for Relaxation
4:38 What’s Next?
4:51 Maybe it’s not always good to finish what you started
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Listening to your body that closely is a true skill. Trusting yourself enough to listen( as in do as your told. Lol ) is a humility beyond measure. You are capable of more because you are brave enough to trust yourself.
Seeing the glass half full Paul, it’s not that you didn’t finish it, instead look at how far you’ve come and how much you did! Amazing!! 🎉🎉🎉
A lesson many people finally learn while walking the Camino is to do YOUR Camino and not the official idea of that Camino route. It is your journey, not an itemised schedule or a checklist that has to be ticked off one point at a time. Well done to you.
Good for you for not falling a victim of the "sunk cost fallacy"
Paul's Camino = from Lourdes to Lugo! 🙂 I am SO glad you had a great time and learnt some really valuable lessons along the way. It sounds like you've achieved what you set out for, even if it wasn't in the way you might have expected?
Thankyou for the video, love these natural catch ups (even with the school groups!) and I'm fascinated by your 'spend 1 hour' routine. I don't think that would work for me, although I can't help remembering in school, we only had 1 hour for each lesson, and I somehow managed to get so much done in that hour - I'm not sure how or when my mind & body slowed down so that doesn't seem like much time now!
Listening to your body and knowing when is enough or even realistically practical without having to force yourself over your limit is so good too.. It is so helpful to hear this repeated again and again because I have a habit of forgetting it! We can still work hard and be productive while being able to relax and look after ourselves. It can sometimes be really hard to make that decision to stop, but it's absolutely key to avoiding burnout, so I'm really glad if this experience has helped in that regard.
Fascinated what you'll be able to bring to your life back home, and also whether you learnt anything from your bio-data thing? For now though - amazing!! Great to hear from you!
Your one hour strategy is a good way of organizing your day and not getting bored. I love the beautiful pink flowers on the side.
I call the hour thing the school schedule. You manage the day like a schedule you had at school. It's very nice and good to have a routine.
All so inspiring, including that you paced yourself and knew when you had to stop. I have ME-CFS amongst other things, and although an hour of anything is beyond me, the principle of doing things in short bursts is similar.
I have fibromyalgia/CFS, too, and this pacing, finding a very personal way to do things and relax in a way that doesn´t lead to simply *uff* breaking down on the bed and not getting up after a long time out/nap or things like that is probably the most important thing for me!!
For the longest time I didn´t even realize I´m still so bad at this and thought, more, you need to do more. NO, less, it has to be less and much more chilled with lots of calm breathing. ^^
@@011silbermond Hi there, same conditions here, really liked what you said about pacing and can relate so much. I've found pacing successfully the hardest thing I've ever tried to learn (and I'm 62 now, Fibro/CFS 15 years this time) as I continually overdo it as I don't get a real reading of my energy in the moment, sometimes it feels like I can do more and then the day after, I find out I couldn't. If I stay too long lying down, it doesn't work either. Every day is learning for me. I'm finding CFS Recovery YT/FB (and others) helpful in assisting me going forward. Soothing the nervous system is a definite need, that's for sure. Wishing you well with it all!
@@011silbermond thank you for this lovely and interesting reply. Wishing you all the best.
@@Trissa.33 thank you, all very relatable. I have fibromyalgia in the mix too, or is it all interconnected anyway?! Either way, thank you for the helpful reply.
You did great staying relaxed in a rather loud setting. Especially while do cold run making a clear audio and visual presentation.You stayed focused and composed.You were listening to yourself with great focus. You moved away slowly but with intent. It didn't seem anxious at all. I can not be certain. You moved away from the group of excited loud children on a field trip in order to complete the task at hand. I think trying out the 1 hour idea seems rather orderly compared to my task master ways of completion of the activity until success is achieved. With an adopted NASA motto of "Failure us not an option." Taking up so many hours of my time. I torture myself that way. With the idea in my mind that obesesses over an ideal of unachievable perfection. I should no better. But I just don't structure my life like that anymore working for myself from home as an artist & making my own schedule now.
This sounds like an awesome progress!
Coming from a family where I inherited this feeling of failing is not an option. And now I have to see what it brought me to ignore my own inner voice, "this isn´t good for you, you are exhausted, why do you think everyone will punish you if you stop/don´t try to do more and more".
I guess because I learned as long as noone says "Stop, it´s enough, break down" you keep moving even if you´re in Zombie mode.
So glad you find a way to do it your way!
I am going to give your one thing an hour a go for me. I'm still recovering from burnout, over a year so far, but where I'm at now I think its doable. ❤ love your insights and always get something from your videos. Buen Camino.
Thank you for sharing, and you give some great advice out from experience that I will use in my daily life. Wonderful. You just made my life much better. Ann from Norway
As you said: it’s your camino. You decide where it starts and where it stops. Or pauses and continues later.
Enjoy the wedding and the meet ups in Munich and London. Safe travels and lots of fun!
Congrats on finishing your walk. Maybe not getting to the end, but you walked all the days you wanted to! And you stopped in a beautiful and memorable little city. Great insight on what helps you be healthy! Thanks Paul!
Thank you for the great and inspiring videos. This life is so hard. Every day when I go outside there are those bullyies and they are always imitating how I walk, how I move listening music with earphones, how I talk and how I look. They do this every day. Like you would shout to a blind person: you cannot see hahaha what funny, you cannot see anything.
Very mature indeed.
Anyways sinds I have got my pets I decided that I want to live. Otherwise I would not want this life any more. Thanks for the videos, I have learned a lot.
Any form of productivity is a win i also like the everything for an hour 👍
Brilliant method for relaxing. It makes complete sense to me, and I'm going to try to employ this strategy, as I often struggle with relaxation, and the guilt that goes along with it. I just discovered your videos and I am trying to watch from the oldest videos forward. For what it's worth, (respectfully speaking), you look 1000 times more handsome without your dreds (sp?). I'm glad you were brave and took the plunge. We have a church group that walks the Camino de Santiago each year in February. I hope to go some day. Thank you for your dedication to sharing and teaching about Autism, ADHD, everything. You are good at what you do. I am enjoying the videos immensely. Thank you!
Thank you so much! I don't feel alone anymore. I'm 6'4 and ginger so I stick out where ever I go but it's like my brain was running on gears without teeth and your videos helped me find the teeth :) thank you
Thanks for this, Paul. I have trouble finishing my studies, I started at 22, I'm now 30 and have tried a couple of different internships that didn't work for me. Also, my parents walked the Camino a couple of times, they loved it very much. My stepdad walked by himself the first time and got back earlier because he wanted to share the experience together with my mom. So romantic
Love your one hour rule. I'm implementing that immediately. Thanks
Two great messages that I needed to hear! Thank you, Paul
That's a great tip.
I’ve got back from walking from Leon to Santiago de compostela . It did take a big toll on my feet but I really loved the experience.
I agree with your lessons. Whilst it’s good to aim to finish things sometimes it’s best to listen to your own body and stop before things get worse.
I remember those “menu del dia “. Massive portions!
Hi Paul. I grew up in South Wales during the 60's and 70's with grandparents who had lived through WW2 in London and I was always taught to never waste food (because they lived through hard times and rationing). I have always tried to stick to that until the past two days (I am 61 now). I noticed I am putting on a little weight recently and feel a bit more sluggish than usual, so I have discarded excess food that I was just too bloated to eat for two consecutive days. I don't feel bad about it at my age because I now think a healthy meal is enough and my body doesn't need to finish that big meal anymore; enough is enough!
You 've made my day! I am going to apply that right away.
Loved the video. Ty. Also, interesting about wiping the plate with bread! I'd completely forgotten but many years ago in the days of stews and gravy, our family did this after our evening meal and it was a kind of normal thing. I came from a very large family, many mouths to feed for Mum and Dad. Mum had a Polish style of upbringing and bread was always served with the evening meal to wipe your plate clean and to eat every sceric of food to avoid waste. I guess the first thing helped alleviate so many very dirty dishes to be rinsed off before washing them and well the second speaks for itself. But I just hadn't thought of it for eons. I guess it came from the European tradition as you mentioned. Thanks for the memory! Lol🤔😀
There's NO failure on a long distance hike (and a LOT of other things). As you said, "I finished my Camino". I know parents drill this ("never quit") into their parents, but listening to your body and your brain. More important.
U know yourself very well!!! U do Not have to push a tired body to overwhelming exhaustion. U did more than enough.
I am so grateful to you for sharing.
That was me a few days ago. I ordered a meal that was more dense than I thought. I quit at the halfway point. It was the right decision.
I could see myself implementing a modified version of that one hour thing you’re doing. Good advice overall.
It's a beautiful city!🏰
I REALLY relate to this
Good lessons for me too thanks
Glad to hear that you got to enjoy some Galicia without having to stress . I hope you enjoyed it!
Love this advice.❤
Wise decision and I'm glad that you are happy with your decision.
I will give it a try too, because I don't have a good structure at all. 🙂
Good advice.
I’m watching from Japan. I enjoy your channel!
That’s great that you’re learning so much on the Camino. I’m dreaming about walking the Portuguese way some day soon. ❤
I struggle with letting go of something I've started or not being thorough & complete - hit one ya gotta hit 'em all sort of thing. But I'm really excited to implement this one thing for one hour every hour each day plan & see how it works for me - i def. dig the idea! Thanks :)
Genuinely interesting.
I like the one hour item idea! I can't 'not do anything', and struggle to relax or take time off. Great idea.
I just stopped a 10 day hike across Crete short at 9 days: a mix of foot pain and increasing heat, the last day would have been horrible and I've been there before, where pushing and insisting meant only creating bad memories. They can take over the good ones you piled up on. Well done , it's really not easy to stop and give yourself a break.
Good tips 👍
Nice lessons, I always want to do the first thing that pops into my head but sometimes that doesn't work. Still figuring out when is the best time to do uncomfortable things.
See you in London. Been following you since video 1! Sue x
I know it's weird, but there's science to it. Before doing something stressful such as an exam, going for a job interview, , going on air, chew gum for half an hour.
Bienvenido a la Patria, Paul, brother. Welcome to Spain. Autism forever!
Paul - Thank you! You are an inspiration and your videos are always interesting :)
Thought guy who appeared in background to dive bomb you vid was hilarious! Just why do folk find it necessary haha!🙄
Happy onward journey... Best regards :)
It's a magnificent cathedral. I hope you got to at least see it.
travelling to it by a sensible way instead of by walking may feel a freedom
Haha, Paul, that sounds a lot like myself trying to find ways to structure my days in a better way, so I hopefully become less exhausted over time.
I also had the idea, maybe try divide the day into lots of very small time periods and then maybe relax before starting sth new. Works because now I´m at home, it had to get dramatically bad for me, until I broke down.
But coming up with your own, very personal strategies I think is the only way, but hopefully we all have ways to get input how such strategies can look like. Not every single task has to be invented completely new like the reinvention of the wheel. >> Even though I realize I gravitate towards this crazy believe a LOT!! LOL
Hahaha, now I have to laugh with you really hard... yes, it´s a big realisation, again, and again and again that it´s not always good to finish what you started! Only figuring out when! to stop and how and what you would do instead is another super difficult question.
Also Naaaaw, you got an invitation to a friend´s wedding in Munich actualy?? How wonderful sounds that!!
I wish you a nice and easy travel to Germany, I will probably just for the fun of it waving at the sky from the middle of Germany here, thinking, hey, now Paul´s coming "home". LOL
I almost never can't think of something to do. My brain is too good at entertaining itself. It is good at distraction. I have been trying to use a one hour method to get things done in small chunks which is not natural for me.
When it comes to some tasks though it's not really a good idea to not finish them. There was a story I had been writing that already had reached a length of about 60,000 words before I quit because I simply didn't feel like it anymore and was lacking inspiration. Three years later and it still haunts me ever so often, but feeling anxious about never finishing it also doesn't get me any more inspired or motivated.
Sounds like a good idea to just split up the day like that though. When I'm on vacation and there is nothing to do because I didn't make any particular plans to fill out my day it gets stressful. But I guess I could always find something to do for an hour.
Not finishing what I’ve started makes me feel so nervous, almost panicked. But, I do think I pay a price for that. I think it would be healthier to be able to adopt this kind of attitude. Maybe I’ll be able to one day. Not today! Lol but a nice idea to keep in my mind :). Also I love the one hour day idea! Will immediately start to use! Thank you!
This hour by hour thing is what I did on Wednesday. Rode my bike 101 miles but never planned more than 10 miles of the route at a time. Didn't even plan to do 100 until 4 hours in lol
🌱🌏💚 KiaOra Paul! 😊
Re: is it always good to finish what you started? (Initially I deleted this comment because I was embarrassed I wrote too much and I worried I went off topic, but I'm putting it up again, as I actually liked what I wrote and I hope it adds to the discussion..)
Finishing what you started.. I think, this is another place where the "sometimes" rule comes into effect.. But just saying 'sometimes' doesn't feel enough somehow, especially if in practice it's harder to know when those specific times are.. I used to come up with all manner of intellectual or moral theories about when quitting can be justified (and, for me, very rarely - I can get very determined & perfectionistic), but since learning to unmask my autism, I am becoming kinder and more realistic. I am discovering it's helpful to have practical examples to recall, where we've felt physically and emotionally what it's like to step over our limits (e.g. overload/burnout/stress/anxiety/depression) and also where we've successfully withdrawn and asserted our boundaries (e.g. feelings of peace/flow/acceptance).
I think it can be good to stretch ourselves outside of our comfort zones sometimes; in order to learn these things.. And we need to feel safe and have the tools in order to do that. I'm glad the Camino has offered you that safe environment. Maybe for everyone it will be different, but something related to our special interests helps? I think, for me, my safe environment is through my art. I've also had to learn when to give up on a painting or drawing, because I can work something to death sometimes (as in, I'll keep erasing until I've made a hole through the paper, or spend days on something that should have only taken hours and still not made much progress, or I know an idea is bad but I'm carrying on with it anyway because I have to finish).. Again - sometimes - it IS worth persevering, and the extra effort is worth it. The rule is not to give up at the first sign of difficulty, and I rather like the ability to hyperfocus on a task until it is done well. But there's definitely a point where I have to weigh up the costs and benefits of continuing, how far my current point is from where I want to be, and also how it's impacting my commitment to other things (such as self-care or meeting deadlines). Sometimes I know it would be wrong to continue. Sometimes I just need to take a break. My attitude has changed now, because I think it is brave to know when to stop and when you've done enough. Thankyou for helping me learn this.
I just wanted to add, there's also the possibility of returning to things at a later date. But sometimes things are 'complete' without being finished, if that makes any sense at all? e.g. Sometimes I'll only half-paint a picture and decide actually it looks better like that 🙂 .
(To my future self: please don't delete this again! You had a lot to say but that's ok) 💛
I resonate so much with your comment. I'm glad you left it here
Iike the one hour at a time idea. It’s so over whelming when there is so much ‘time’ ahead of me and so much to do, but I can’t get started because I’m overwhelmed. So breaking it down, to one thing for this hour, if I’ve not finished then I can carry on for another hour, if not stop and do something else for the next hour. Shall work on that.
I heard once as a teen that I could behave like a rock star. I could arrive late and leave when i felt like doing so with no explanation necessary. I dont always remember i can exit stage left but life works better when i do
Thanks for the good concept! The one thing per hours sounds like a good way to self-regulate. I may not always be able to do that, but like it as an idea for when possible.
It could also be a way of cutting back non essential activities. For example, if someone has an extensive garden that takes a lot of time to maintain. If that is a special interest and calms a person, great. But even if one likes the effect and enjoys the plants and flowers, plus the neighbors like it (perhaps a way to fit in), is it worth a certain number of hours. Or is it adding to time pressure so you have problems regulating. Now, I love gardens, so I'm not saying what anyone should do. It's a matter of life balance. For autistic people, life balance is not the same as for NTs. Figuring this out is different from what we may have learned.
I am hoping to walk the Camino in April of next year, in my case primarily for religious reasons. Any tips on relaxing are appreciated.
❤
Sometimes at the end of the day it seems to me I did nothing. I think yours is a good strategy 👍
I've always thought to-do lists were for people driven to get things done. I never realized, until now, that it also enables slackers to feel good about doing 'nothing'.
I love Galicia very beautiful
Glad to see you well you cooed with the noises children admirably.
You just have to mop up the gravy with a nice slice of bread my friend, it just has to be done.
Wish I had the resources to see you in Munich but alas it’s not to be.
Stay safe, have fun, continue the conversation.
Which hell´s curse will wait for him if he didn´t follow the rule of mopping up the gravy?! 😱😱Duh duuuh.... 🤣🤣
Quite some time ago, I worked out that the worst thing you can do, after you have eaten enough, is to keep eating. That is the worst way to waste food, worse than just binning it. By continuing to eat, you train your body to add unnecessary fat.
When I implemented that, I lost 15 Kg. 15% of my body.
Great advice. What advice would you give, though, for reconciling the idea that it's ok to stop with the belief a lot of us have that if we stop, we fail. If we fail, we're not perfect, and if we're not perfect, we'll be rejected by our peers?
Actually I pace my days like that. Always thought it's a bit stupid to do that...but I guess it's probably not stupid. It suits me.
Could hear you fine
I'm taking a shit for one hour, I hope my employer understands
👍👏🙏😍