Managing Transition Time (new strategy to switch gears and avoid autistic burnout)
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- Опубліковано 13 чер 2024
- Many autistic adults prefer to focus on one thing at a time and have trouble switching gears (especially when it comes to recharge and avoiding burnout). This can lead to always being 'on' and not getting enough regular rest.
In this video I share a new strategy that's been working really well for me recently, to help manage transitions between tasks to ensure I get enough rest in daily life.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction
00:41 - Being a Mono-Tasker
01:47 - The Challenge of Transition (from one task to another)
04:57 - A New Strategy (that works for me)
09:45 - Moral of the Story
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!
My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.
If you're new you can check out a playlist of some of my most popular videos here: / aspergersfromtheinside
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
As the name suggests, this channel is devoted to giving you insight into the world of Aspergers.
This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.
I've come a long way in my own personal journey.
Now I'm sharing what I've found so you don't have to learn it the hard way too.
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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG
You can expect me to get to the point with concise useful information.
I focus on what is most important and don't shy away from difficult topics.
The best way to learn about Autism is to see it in real life ( i.e. via the stories of many, many people on the spectrum).
In this channel I endeavour to show you what Autism and Aspergers look like in real people and to also give you some insight as to what's happening on the inside.
I upload a new video every weekend with some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
There's always new stuff coming through so be sure to check back and see what you've missed. (Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to hit that subscribe button?)
Topics Include:
- What is Aspergers/Autism?
- Aspie Tips, coping strategies, and advice on common issues
- Learning Emotional Intelligence (this is my special interest!)
- Autism in real life: stories from special guests
Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)
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// ABOUT ME
I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thirty.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
My background is in engineering and I see the world in systems to be analysed.
My passion is for taking the incredibly complex, deciphering the pattern, and explaining it very simply.
My philosophy is that blogging is an adventure best shared.
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// EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING
I also run autism friendly online emotional intelligence training. So if you like my direct, systematic style, and would like to improve your own emotional intelligence skills, check it out here:
emotionsexplained.com.au
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// CONTACT
Blogging is an adventure best shared which means I'd love to hear from you!
Feel free to leave me a comment or send me and email at any time and I'll do my best to respond promptly.
Email: aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this channel!
I look forward to hearing from you!
Peace,
~Paul
My dad came up with the hamburger test when he was a manager. He discovered later in life that he was likely autistic and didn’t know at the time why he preferred one thing at a time. Anyway, he would take his employees out to eat for a hamburger, fries, and a drink. He would observe how people would eat and based on that he would assign tasks and creat expectations. So if someone at all the hamburger, then their fries, and then drank their drink then he knew to only give them one task at a time. If they could go between all parts of the meal and keep up with a conversation to boot, then he knew they could handle multiple tasks at once. He personally was a one task person, but just wanted to know his employees and how they best worked.
What about the people who sometimes eat everything randomly, and then sometimes eat 1 at a time. (Me)
@@michaellemmenwell, I like the idea of the test. maybe one could initiate a follow up talk on 'life blessed with hamburgers' and the participant observer would take verbal contributions into account, additionally.
Oh the changing gears! I've always told people I struggle with this. No one gets it. I am so lucky now to have found my also aspie partner - last night we spent about 4 hours planning our trip to London in minute detail. We have everything booked and a written itinerary. I have colour coded the tube journeys as well so that hopefully when I am there I won't get lost. We have built in transition time so that we can chill and get our bearings.
It sounds silly but neither of us realised before how important it was for us to have everything planned like that so that when we are there we can relax and enjoy our trip. With previous partners we would always hate trips because we would have to lurch from one spontaneous loud activity to the next, which would end in disaster.
So glad to have found my community ❤️
I'm going to get tested soon for autism as I think I am autistic, but I'd like to share something about this transitioning thingy. My level of stress has reduced a lot since when I stopped watching Netflix and UA-cam or listening podcasts when cooking or eating. While I enjoyed those activities because they were entertaining, they took energy from me instead of relaxing me.
Now when I eat, I just stare at the window, enjoy the silence and let my thoghts flow as they come. And if I'm cooking and I need wait something to get cooked, I put some music and start dancing spontaneously.
I feel a lot better now with this routing :)
A quick note at the end: It's insame how time-consuming watching those videos and TV-series are! It's just good to feel bored sometimes and allow some spontaneity in my life.
Amen!! So true!
seems like you are switching from multitasking to monotasking ;-) Yes, this reduces stress, and finally may raise overall productivity (instead as lowering productivity, as it might seem at first look)
I know all of that, but I myself am not very good yet at succeeding with that strategy of singletasking.......
I agree. It might seem like saving time if you're watching something you were planning on watching anyway, but it has a really bad influence on concentration and energy level. I discovered this a couple months ago and can't really tell why I got back to watching/listening to stuff while eating, but it was a really bad idea. Thanks for the reminder.
I agree these activities take up a lot of energy as we have to watch, listen and be aware of our control over our computer or mobile phone. Staring at the beautiful view from the window, however, is an activity where we control what we want to see and only requires looking rather than listening or awareness of immediate objects that we hold.
I already do the dancing(or in my case more often just spinning) while I'm waiting for food to cook or water to boil, but I should really try this with not trying to watch TV and eat at the same time, or at the very least make a point of not watching anything new so that I don't really need to process any of what I'm watching and I'm not surprised by what I'm watching and it's not a big deal if I miss anything. When I'm eating and rewatching an old favorite movie or show I think I relax really well, but when I'm trying to watch something new and eat at the same time; I often find it really hard to focus, I'm always worried about missing anything if I need to look down for a split second to take a bite or a drink, and then if I do miss anything then I need to put my food down to rewind, and if what I'm watching is too distracting(which many new really good shows and movies and UA-cam videos usually are) then I often get so distracted that I forget to eat, and having to reheat the same dinner and or drink several times is not relaxing, and getting too invested in something that is an emotional rollercoaster and or turns out to be something that I don't like is often the exact opposite of relaxing.
One of the ways that I first identified this in myself was when I was driving and my wife was navigating for me (pre gps days). If she suddenly said there's your exit! Take this exit!! I would not even consider suddenly turning off at an exit, with just seconds of notice. I would gladly pass my exit and reroute as necessary. I eventually told her that I will not turn off unless I am given at least 30 seconds of notice. It was a safety concern (in my mind) but also simply unacceptable to be given directions with such short notice. A navigator needs to give the pilot ample time to safely navigate.
Same!
Just did that yesterday. I also agree it’s a security concern. It’s too easy to miss looking at the appropriate mirror and lane with a few seconds notice. I have played enough video games, I know myself. This video game only has one life. Continuing and rerouting might increase the travel time by 10 minutes, but that’s worth avoiding a risky situation in my view.
That difference of a walk at the weekend is very interesting and very well observed.
At 42 I have committed that I probably don't earn enough to retire ever anyway, so I work a 4 day week now. I am a better worker, a better friend, and more present in all my relationships after 4 years of this.
I will get by on less, and will have to work till I die (probably), and my employment options are more limited to companies that will accept a 4 day week for a member of staff... but I am no longer lurching from one crisis to the next. Totally worth it so far.
Choosing to not procreate helps of course. I understand that people find all that nice, but we are very glad that we haven't. Etc.
This is my life story. Kudos on not complicating your life with kids - I am so glad I've avoided them. Being a mom and ASD/ADHD would NOT have worked for me.
So helpful for an NT with an Aspie man. What we as NTs take for granted is our ability to simultaneously process several thoughts, expectations, ideas and opinions. Understanding that Aspies cannot do this is important in developing patience and not overloading them, or hurrying their decisions. Thanks for this
You're such an amazing person. I wish I meet a woman like you in the future.
Vivi Joe Thank you, Vivi Joe. It’s all a journey of discovery isn’t it… so exciting
The realization that I may likely be on the spectrum came one day when I told my wife that “it’s literally impossible to focus on two different things at once, multitasking is different, you can’t fully pay attention to different things” and her response was “no, its impossible for YOUR brain to focus on two things”……she’s right, and I’ve learned a lot since that conversation.
@@jackjohnson2309 I've lived this way all my life. I always wondered how NTs could do that smoothly. Like keeping many friends at the same time. Like how 🤔
Jack Johnson So Jack… please tell me something… given that you understand that you just cannot see this, do you feel handicapped in some way? I tend to be a bit blunt and want to know if my Aspie partner feels ‘defective’. I don’t view him that way but it would be good to understand him better
Holy crap. I’ve been watching your videos for days now coming closer and closer to the conclusion that I probably am on the spectrum. But this one has hit so much closer to home than the others.
I have had 2 times in my life where I had major breakdowns that affected me for long periods of time after the events. Both those periods involved me having a daily schedule that was jam packed. Too many classes, extra curricular, long work projects. Both times were 3-6 months where I basically had no opportunity to recharge during the workweek. Then there were social obligations on weekends that either further burned me out or made me feel guilty for skipping.
I had so many people around me that seemed to handle the full schedule just fine. This finally gives me permission to not feel like a failure.
Hi Paul, I don't know if you have the opportunity to read comments, but I wanted to attempt to send a thank you here. A few months ago, with some preliminary googling, I happened by one of your videos. After watching it I felt as though for the first time in my life someone is having the same experience that I am. I had no idea what autism was, though I foolishly thought I did. I decided to take the next step and be evaluated. Several doctor visits later I've received my final report today. Here's the most important part of it:
Overall results from this assessment indicate that David meets criteria for diagnosis on the Autism Spectrum.
You are a critical part of a journey that has led me to an understanding of myself that I have been longing for. It's a scary, exciting and joyous thing. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for changing my life.
Congrats 👏
One of us!
One of us!
Welcome. I am very happy that you've had opportunity to learn more about yourself. More people should have the freedom to know that they are not alone in how they are.
Congratulations
@@longline Gooble Gobble! 😆 And thank you. Almost 40 and I finally found my tribe.
@@055pq2 Thank you!!
I'm happy for you! I'm late-diagnosed too and it was one of Paul's videos that finally made me realise I was much more than the "little on the spectrum" that I'd previously thought.
Inertia is a huge issue for me. Routine helps, if I'm following a routine my brain seems to automatically shift over. It's fine for some regular tasks, but not everything can be scheduled. Very often in the past I've become so absorbed in a task I've ignored pain, hunger etc with bad consequences. I'm trying very hard not to do that anymore but I haven't figured out all the strategies yet. I find it hard to get my brain to put everything away again to sleep. Often I get it quiet enough that I drop off but it takes hours and then I'm very aware that it starts back up while I'm sleeping and keeps on whirring.
Try to take vitamin b1 especially the benfotamine form of b1. Miraculous
I experience the same issue, which is what I tried to explain to the therapist but the moron kept asking me "why would you wait until someone reminds you to eat?" Because apparently "I forget" wasn't good enough for an answer.
@@aikou2886 Pity your therapist doesn't know anything about autism. :(
Yes, inertia. I get this. Thank you.
I just want to thank you. I watched roughly 50 or so hours of your videos over a 85+ hour bout of insomnia at 1.75 to 2x speed, but you’ve helped me find out something about myself I’ve kept hidden, even from me. It took me 41 years, but I now know: I am autistic. I can’t express how thankful I am to you! If I don’t stop now, I won’t, so once more, THANK YOU!!!
I came to a similar conclusion after watching an episode on Autism in the ABC series "You Can't ask that". You may still find some value in watching it. Cheers
@@marcusfromoz7066 I’ll check it out. Thanks! A year ago, I watched another UA-camr tell his audience he was autistic, and his experience sounded familiar. A ton more research later….
“How do you know you’re autistic if you’ve never been diagnosed?”
Me: “After spending a year and a half intensively focused on learning the diagnostic criteria and watching over 450 hours of videos from doctors, psychologists, and autistic people on UA-cam, PBS, etc., and reading 50 research papers on autism, I started to notice several consistencies between my own life experience and all these other observations from people who’ve been autistic or studied autism for a living over the past 60 years….”
It wasn’t just that though. It was suddenly hearing myself reference the many hundreds of hours I’d spent learning about something I saw randomly one time because something clicked. I’ve yet to meet someone who isn’t autistic who does this, and I do it constantly with everything and have since I was at least 3 years old. I finally decided that’s probably diagnostic criteria enough for me to say I’m most likely autistic until I decide if it’s worthwhile to get an official diagnosis.
@@babybirdhome ditto! I honestly thought everyone had obsessions like that. One person offhandedly mentions something in a video or post, and it sends you off on a multi-hour tangent of research, entertainment, and enlightenment.
I was always so worried about telling people with a self diagnosis. The more autistic people I watched, read about, and talked to, the more self diagnosis seemed not only viable, but necessary in some cases. The support of the community is what got me to move forward. Now, I really couldn’t be happier at least knowing what’s been happening throughout my life!
Closely related to transitions is what I call modes. Transitioning between cleaning mode and oil painting mode I find is different from transitioning between cleaning mode and gardening mode. Still working out what all my modes are, how they are related and how to switch between them. Definitely found walking very helpful in the past. Only dx this year so it has explained my many periods of super high productivity and periods of low to none. Co-morbid with bipolar so this has often increased the highs and lows further.
modes, yup. I understand that.
If I am in a routine it's almost like my body will automatically switch modes for me once it knows what I want from it. But in order for it to work, I need to know all different modes that I want to experience in life. Once I have a time for it that works well with all the others, then I can fall into it with no energy loss.
If my schedule is off, then it's like swimming against the tide.
When it's on track, then every part of my mind is working in sync, even if I am only aware of the mode I'm in.
@@evemacdonald8654 That was beautifully articulated. I have a hard time explaining to people why the same action can be an absolute breeze or super difficult for me depending on surrounding circumstances. I'll try to remember this explanation for the next time because it absolutely rings true.
@@oaschbeidl Thank you. Hope it helps
Oh that sounds like it could be really helpful! Thank you.
@@oaschbeidlI have the same challenge. This conversation has helped me to understand better why. Thanks to all!
I can relate to every word 100% - I have ADD and do not have autism. gonna share this video with my husband, especially the ''would you like to go hiking this weekend?'' part - most relatable LOL
great content, thank you.
As a mom of 2 with 1 on the way... I have to transition while I'm transitioning while I transition to another transition.
The mention of your wife asking you what you want to do the following weekend always happens with me. Asking me something like that right in the middle of studying has derailed my entire day.
Absolutely. I’ve begged my wife of 21 years to never ever mention “ the list “ to me while I’m doing a task. It ruins my focus , and then all I can think of is the list. She however loves to talk about the list. She’s a list maker. I make tiny lists for what I have time for that day. Or that hour etc. only one or two related tasks. And I run. A farm , and a fabrication business. I worry a lot that my head will explode. Or that I’ll die never feeling what being “ caught up “ or current feels like.
So for the NT, what would help is if you could schedule (and remember to do)😉 a few minutes every single day, at a time convenient for you, when you go to her and ask if there is anything important or urgent in her mind that needs airing. If she can trust you will do this everyday, then she can shelve her items till this moment and everyone wins
Brilliant explanation. That’s exactly what it feels like.
One strategy that is helpful for me is to plan the day out in advance with a sequence of events and steps I will need to take and then create a mental movie or role play of what I will do at each step and what that will look and feel like. This is much easier for me to do than trying to sequence in the moment. If I have done this then I can transition much more smoothly. Of course, this also takes time and effort and I don’t always have the ability to do that each evening. But when an import jet or busy day is coming up a almost always do this and it has been my most successful strategy.
Thank you Paul for your channel. It’s very validating to realize that I’m normal….for an autistic person.
Interesting! I have found that a mental movie at the end of the day has been helpful for me to wrap things up. My tactic was to do this at bed time to counteract the feeling of not having done enough / jittery / on edge. I would step back through my day from waking up, and replay the events in my head, and validate the emotions that came with each event (without attachment). A bit like meditation? It helped me to feel OK about my day, I never got through the whole movie before falling asleep, and I'd feel rested the next morning.
Traditional school was always so hard because of this! I love learning but I would much prefer having one subject a day but be able to go fully into it rather then having 5-6 classes to constantly try to focus on.
I've always had the same problems of not being able to refocus after interruptions. Fortunately, when I worked in engineering, people understood this well and if they needed to talk to you, they would wait patiently by your desk, maybe eventually doing a bit of shuffling in case you hadn't even realised they were there, until you were ready to look up from what you were doing, but outside this environment, people just bound right up to you and start talking! Then I can't refocus on my work for ages, by which time they've come to talk to you again! I'd say I hadn't had time to get back into work since last time and they'd be, like, that was half an hour ago! I wonder if this is worse as a woman as people somehow expect you to be more sociable. My engineering colleagues were pretty much all men, and obviously also engineers, so got it naturally, it was just office culture not to disturb someone. I then moved to an academic science computer modelling role where the culture was pretty similar too, so that worked.
So now I know to try as far as possible to do one thing at a time and avoid the transitioning in the first place. If I have a more involved, longer task to do and I know I have lots of little jobs that also need doing, I will try to do them first so they aren't nagging at the back of my mind while I'm trying to concentrate on the big job. I've even given those tasks their own section of my to do list now for that reason. This can still fall flat though if the task is something like - email this person about something, in 3 hours they reply and you have to go back to it, but it helps.
OMG this is why work from home is incredible. I'm not an engineer (my dad is though! with ASD, aerospace like Paul!); I'm a writer/editor, and people would constantly interrupt me and I just couldn't handle it. The responsibilities of being an editor are too much. I need to do one thing (write/research) so I've dropped the multitasking, hyper communicative role of editor and am back to rabbit holing as a writer from home. I agree about being female - UGH. People think I'm a jerk because I don't want to constantly gab. I just can't be productive that way.
I am a woman engineer as well and can relate to everything you said. I found out how to hide my personality to avoid getting chatty. This also has the added benefit of experiencing less toxic behavior that sometimes comes from being in a male dominant field. However, I think this strategy also hurts me professionally. Just wanted to share incase it helps you find a better balance
This was the most accurate description of my mind I've ever encountered! Based on what you're saying I can see that I would thrive on focusing on only 1-3 tasks per day. Unfortunately I am a single mother of two and I homeschool so I am the only one in charge of all areas of our life and feel spread very thin since I have so many demands every day. All the more reason to play around with the schedule again because I need to become more effective in everything I do.
I'm saying prayers for you. I homeschooled, but my kids have been adults for years.
And, I'm trying to fix myself - I don't have all of those responsibilities now, but when I wrote down my list of morning chores I was astonished at the number! I need to simplify and it is so hard for me. Maybe I really miss the routine of homeschooling, etc and I'm cluttering my life to compensate.
I loved homeschooling, and I hope you do too! God bless you and yours.
The multitasking involved in raising children is a huge challenge for me. I can handle it as long as it’s my only responsibility. When crises or additional things get thrown on top I begin to struggle. I can keep it up short term but if it ends up lasting very long I lose significant function and need help.
At the risk of sounding like I want to meddle in your family affairs, maybe include your children in your daily tasks. When I was like 7 or 8 years old, I loved to do the dishes. It creates a sense of inclusion and responsibility. It doesn't have to be something big. Just reducing the number and variety of tasks from your personal list can be of immense benefit. And by having 2 children the load on them can be halved or each one can pick a favourite.
In my case there was a list and after 30 days of done work, we went to the public pool. This became harder with puberty, but I don't see any harm in talking about it with them.
Look into unschooling.
Keeping a routine helps me with managing household and myself. It's hard when we have to go outside of routine for obvious reasons. But its really beneficial for us to have a routine.
My whole life I felt like a locomotive! I felt this huge inertia all the time. Of course, It didn't even cross my mind that I might be autistic. But I stumbled upon one of your videos, I binged them all and now I'm sure. You are practically describing my life and everything that I have been through makes so much more sense now. So, a big THANK YOU!
😊me2
I don't know how many times I've felt like you described in this video. Sometimes it's hard to escape it even when you know you have to, and when you finally have the time, it doesn't seem to be enough. I find it so hard to recognize and verbalize how burnout feels when I'm actually experiencing it so it often catches my off guard.
After 22yrs teaching in a physical school I made the switch to teaching online from home. BEST thing I have ever done. I love teaching but sometimes get over animated and invested and by the end of the lesson am exhausted. However, now I can take a walk in a he garden for 5 mins between sessions and when I have a gap in my timetable I can pop to the beach at the end of the road for recovery.
Additionally I can actually teach from the beach on those sceptically nice days (not too many of those though here in the UK
I ruck at a hiking trail at 3 in the morning for 2 hours while listening to soothing music. No traffic, no people. Feels like I'm in another world. This helps me be more care free throughout the day and avoid burnout.
Exactly what I did in my late teens too! I could not have got through that without walking at night.
@@DG-wr6cl Good luck at your new job!!!
I wasn't sure what monotasking meant. So I googled it and found out that it means only working on one task at a time. Therefore I'm definitely a monotasker since I can only work on two different tasks at the same time at the very most but prefers to only focus on working at one task at a time 🐿️
The only time that I can truly successfully do two things at once is when the second thing is ignoring everything but the first thing.
I can't find specialist who works with testing / diagnosing adults with autism. And I live in a big city!! I was diagnosed with ADD 22 years ago but I relate to SO MUCH. I love learning about autism
I like how you identified the difference between transition time and relax time, as far as taking a break is concerned.
Here is my story related to that.
I am very sensitive to chaotic environments. Even if it's just me in one room, if I am thinking a lot and "working" at home, it feels like the home takes on that chaos. So I can't just take a break in that "mess". So before I relax I need to clean the house a bit. That would be my transition time. The act of cleaning helps and then putting everything back in order is like defragging my environment. THEN I can relax and absorb good feelings.
Walking or running is always good too. But I like to take a shower before I go out. That way I can remove any feelings associated with what I was thinking and then fully absorb the good medicine of nature while I run.
Now If I just added in relax time after running that would be even better!
I like the idea of defragging the environment - that works for me!
Oh, this is a very interesting topic. I especially liked your mention of not being able to fully put down awareness of an impending return to a task, which then acts as an energy drain because of the constant on-state of the brain. That's one of my biggest challenges.
I've got two strategies to help with it:
The first one blurs the line between the on and off time by introducing a bit of off time into my on time. As a remote worker, I can climb into comfortable slippers or grab a hot water bottle or make myself something delicious to drink or eat while I'm working. Non-remote workers could accomplish something similar in slightly different ways. By bringing some off-time pleasure into my on-time, the mingling of the two states softens the transition line between them, making the shift somewhat gentler.
The second one is hard-core. I tend to like to deeply immerse myself in anything that catches my fancy and that can be work just as easily as anything else. If I've got a whole lot to think about or focus on or keep track of at work, I let myself continue to think about and look into it even on my off-time, completely immersing myself in it pretty much to the exclusion of any other pursuits besides necessary self-care. When you put that much energy into something, you can "tap it out" within pretty short order and get it out of your system. It shifts your thoughts into a confident and comfortable mode in which you know you've got this and there isn't much anyone or anything could throw at you that you haven't already figured out from all that immersion. Once you reach that point, you can shift into your off-time rather easily without being tempted to let yourself keep all those plates in the air because many of them are now safely tucked away and will only ever be needed as a refresher once in a while instead of all the time.
Wow, insight from this video: rest time (like a walk) requires a transition from work and into the rest time and back out to work time -- REST TIME ITSELF IS NOT THE TRANSITION FROM WORK TASK TO WORK TASK like I thought it ought to be.
yes this!! transition time does so so much for me and most days I have a period of space about an hour long that’s a designated “destimming time “. Usually I take a nap and I feel refreshed nine out of 10 times but when I’m running low on spoons that looming threat of having to go back to work is just so incredibly stressful.
New subscriber here.. My Husband has Autism, I watch your videos to help me continue to understand him better.
I think your videos are really informative. Thank you!
I recently came to the realisation at 18 years old that I probably have Asperger's autism. I have found that your channel is incredibly relatable to me and it is probably the first time in my life I have felt this related to someone in my life.
Forgive me if you have already made this video as I am new here but, could you please do a video on "special interests" with regard to people with autism? I am keen to know things like; does everyone with Asperger's develope a special interest? What kind of special interests do people with Asperger's have? What special interest(s) do you have now and in the past?
For me I love studying the Japanese language and writing system and the intricacies and origins of Chinese characters :)
Hi. Special interests are called "restrictive, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests or activities" in DSM-5. "Highly restricted, fixated interests". Yet, like Elon Musk, it seems as if I could call it a super power. My interests (ancient history, anthropology, psychology, neuroscience, quantum physics, the art of rhetoric and sales). When overloaded I garden. What are your special interest?
@@judeel7601 Thanks for the reply, that sounds interesting. As I said, my main special interest for last couple years has been studying Chinese characters (kanji) and there usage in Japan and then also the broader Japanese language. Some of my other interests include the evolution of mankind and other animal evolutions, computer science and memorising countries of the world and little facts about them.
Your right sometimes being really interested and hyper-focused on something can be a useful thing (or even feel like a superpower), for me my Japanese exams has become very easy because of it...
Language interest made me laugh (at myself). I'm interested in the meaning of names at the moment. Yours lead me to suggest "Dr Tony Attwood". I think you'll enjoy his take on Asperger’s now called high functioning autism.
Wow: Being in the work zone mindset and someone asks if you'd like to do [something, anything other than where your mind is in this moment], and you have to Make A Transition from one focus to a different one... What's on my calendar? What's the weather going to be? Is there something else...? This is something I totally relate to! I ^must^ share this with my friend/coworker who does this to me. (Friends since childhood; she got me the job where we've been working together for some ten years) I get a panic moment, my mind goes scrambling through those very questions.
Thank You For Putting This Into Words!
I need time to prepare for a change in trajectory. At my job, I can often see what is coming my way and can tell myself what I need to do ahead of time.
At home, I dither because I have trouble starting anything. Cooking, cleaning, getting ready for bed etc.
Perfect timing for this video.
I am definitely a mono-tasker and subject to frequent interruptions, in addition to feeling that something, somewhere is going horribly wrong and I need to be alert and available at all times. This is a PTSD thing. My sensitivity to sound makes this worse (and I could currently throttle whoever is using the sanding machine on a local construction site at this moment in time).
I aim to get better at segment intending - working on one task at a time and spending a short amount of time tuning into it beforehand. It helps to visualise the day, and for that I need a plan.
The other thing that helps is an early start to the day, switching off messaging apps and notifications and not getting sucked into UA-cam. And ignoring anyone who has a Netflix recommendation too.
Although notifications such as this one proved to be very useful indeed :o)
Thanks Paul.
Thanks for this video. This is such a relevant issue for those of us on the spectrum. As a woman and a working mother, there seems to be even more pressure for us to multitask and switch gears quickly, both of which I find difficult. A walk or some form of exercise would certainly help, but is not often possible, so I use strategies like blocking similar tasks together so my brain doesn't have to change track too much and cutting down on transitions wherever possible e.g. instead of dropping a child at an activity and then going back home, then back through the traffic to fetch them, I would stay doing quiet research in a place nearby their activity. Going back and forth less really helps. Another thing I found really helpful was to prioritize intellectually demanding tasks and then when I have to transition from one of these to another, e.g. from work in my practice to study /research, I would do a mundane or repetitive household task in between, such as sweeping or tidying or doing dishes. It all needs to get done, but how and when one does it makes a big difference. I can try go straight from study to work but find that no matter how hard I try, my brain just won't go with me! If I take a housework break at that stage, my brain can slowly wind down from the one task and gear up for the other. The repetitive physical movement and the fact that it's making everything tidier also helps. It's very important for me not to try and multitask if I am using chores in this way, or it doesn't work. It needs to be quiet, i.e. no listening to stuff or watching videos while busy. Once the mundane task is done, I'm more ready to go to the next intellectually demanding task.
@@peacediscipline Not sure if you wanted this to be posted against the main feed rather than just as a reply to my comment.. (definitely worth more people reading).
I don't have any "responsibilities" which is a pain in a lot of ways as I have trouble creating that structure for myself and don't have anyone or anything else to hold me to account. I'm trying to build on a creative idea at the moment and it's so easy to procrastinate by getting side tracked onto little tasks. Or float off into space. This will change. But I find the same - I get my best ideas when I am washing up, or doing other repetitive tasks. UA-cam is my nemesis and I'm aiming to get control of that.
I've just bought a whiteboard so I can "see" all the tasks that need to be done and group them together, creating bigger blocks of activity.
It sounds as though you are managing your time really well and working very well with your needs. :o) xx
Thanks for this video. This is such a relevant issue for those of us on the spectrum. As a woman and a working mother, there seems to be even more pressure for us to multitask and switch gears quickly, both of which I find difficult. A walk or some form of exercise would certainly help, but is not often possible, so I use strategies like blocking similar tasks together so my brain doesn't have to change track too much and cutting down on transitions wherever possible e.g. instead of dropping a child at an activity and then going back home, then back through the traffic to fetch them, I would stay doing quiet research in a place nearby their activity. Going back and forth less really helps. Another thing I found really helpful was to prioritize intellectually demanding tasks and then when I have to transition from one of these to another, e.g. from work in my practice to study /research, I would do a mundane or repetitive household task in between, such as sweeping or tidying or doing dishes. It all needs to get done, but how and when one does it makes a big difference. I can try go straight from study to work but find that no matter how hard I try, my brain just won't go with me! If I take a housework break at that stage, my brain can slowly wind down from the one task and gear up for the other. The repetitive physical movement and the fact that it's making everything tidier also helps. It's very important for me not to try and multitask if I am using chores in this way, or it doesn't work. It needs to be quiet, i.e. no listening to stuff or watching videos while busy. Once the mundane task is done, I'm more ready to go to the next intellectually demanding task.
Yes! Powernaps are the best! It only takes 15 minutes, and you don't even have to fall asleep, you just have to close your eyes. I like to break up my day at lunchtime to get away from work, just go, not even necessarily get lunch. Another useful thing that has worked great for me under extreme stress to sleep is to lay with my eyes closed and think through my day to process, and/or put everything in an imaginary box and send it away and tell myself I'll open it again tomorrow.
So when I'm at work and my boss asks me to do an extra thing I can just say "yep sure, just let me take a quick 4 hour rest break first".
Accommodation lol
This video hit the nail on the head for me, thanks for voicing your ideas, I need help in this area!
I can't remember who or how it was said but, " If I have six hours of chopping trees. I will spend four sharpening my axe."
Thank you, something to evaluate for my life.
One of my difficult problems is I have a brain fog every time I wake up; so I lose productive time in the morning, and if I'm forced to take a nap I lose the nap time and the time it takes for me to wake up. Weirdly, this seems to have a genetic cause because one of my daughters is even worse about the post-sleep brain fog.
Thank God for coffee!
During summer of 2020 I arrived to a similar routine that really helped me manage my day.
I'd do the kind of work that requires a lot of thinking at the end of the day (I'm a software engineer, so that would be actual coding and problem solving), and when I reach a stage where I can leave the tasks I'm working on without worrying too much about them I can then go to sleep, then on the next day (I wake up around noon) I'd do the tasks that don't need much thinking like meetings and communicating with the team then I go for a walk and pass by a fast food restaurant and pick up lunch/dinner and eat it on my walk back home.
I did this every work day for 4 months (and also did the walk on weekends too), but the routine got interrupted when I stayed with family for week in another city and I could get back into that routine again 😕
Side Note: I live in a low-density place and wore a mask when picking up the food, so I was safe covid-wise.
Thank you for this, I think that watching this might be the first time I have felt hopeful about managing lifeth
Great video. Super helpful information. I find it difficult to maintain self awareness when I’m trying to get a whole bunch of things done. Then all of a sudden I’m burned out without understanding what happened.
I think this is a major factor in why there are so few autistic people in employment. Some sectors are more accommodating than others of course, but even then you'd need to be very lucky to find an employer who can actually factor-in an autistic employee into their workforce.
Back in 2018 I went on a meetup for autistic people, and the organizer was an intelligent person running his own business, and being a step father.
To kind of paraphrase, he said he was a ok if it was his own business and made all the decisions. But if he had to work for someone else executive function went out the window
His channel has been such a blessing to me with understanding my 11 yr old African American Autistic daughter …and my husband who don’t know or truly understand that he’s autistic also … These conversations and lessons here on your channel are like a textbook for understanding ..Very great full b/c now I get to show my daughter and better understand my husband b/c the doctors are not truly connecting …blessing and love here in Atl Ga …❤️🙏💯💯💯🙏🙏🙏🙏
Well put. Thank you. Brilliant without glare. Comforting and encouraging.
Hi Paul, Thank you for making this video. I take it this is the reason why you work for yourself now. In my job there is no possibility for taking 4 hour breaks if I need them, that's why I'm in burnout now and have been for the past 2 years. Here in The Netherlands we have a good social system so I can count on some income after my boss will let me go because of this. I am now thinking of creating a bussiness for myself because of what you are saying in the video. I can strongly relate to the feeling of never actually be done with work because it keeps on coming. Maybe if i start my own practice I can manage my energy better. Can you maybe make a video on how it is for you to have your own bussiness and how you manage that, including all the admin and responsebilities that come with it. Thanks again for this video, i've been in therapy for quite a while now and know that the ASD community with video's like this has helped me more than talking to a therapist :)
Sleeping... I can basically pass out anywhere at any time if I'm really tired (pity I can't sleep through a whole night though). I once fell asleep sitting at Christmas lunch. My dad thought I was bored, but I just really was emotionally drained by the festive marathon.
I hear you. i have the same problem when i try to switch tasks. For example when i return home from university i find it very hard to sit down and study. Almost imposimple.
This is great - I also go with the less is more approach. The less tasks I set myself each day, the more I can focus and get done. It makes so much sense as a strategy to reduce autistic burnout. Whenever I fill up my diary (thinking to myself that what's in my diary would seem reasonable to a neurotypical person and so I should be able to push through), I start to feel the tell-tale signs of burnout for me - being highly emotional, increased sensory sensitivity, executive dysfunction. It's so important to preciously guard our time and schedules and not be affected by what others might think is a reasonable amount of work for a day.
Yes! Valuable isn’t a strong enough word, though I haven’t another!
Im viewing yr videos w interest. I often multitask and notice the "grip of stress" of monotaskers. I think a key is to empty yr mind. Set it in the nervous system. Dont avoid yr rules, just relax on them and make allowances. For example, say u r watching tv and reading a book, while being interrupted by phone messages. Yr head shld be empty, purely receptive, not thinking nor judging. Emotions shld not be full, just empty. The drive is just absorption.
I can't find the words to say THANK YOU for all your work, and this video is so good, so well explained. Is like you were in my brain and now talking about what you see/find there. Thank you again!
I have good experience of optimizing my "decision power" by consciously reducing the amount of options I have to choose from.
I try to use this for trivial decisions and tasks - routines, microstrategies and habits - so I am able to dive deeper into the more important stuff.
One obstacle in this process is bottom-up vs. top-down thinking, and if your perception is based in reality and details over abstractions, then this might be a skill that needs training.
Mono-Tasker. Thank you for the word. 👍
Context switching for me is only difficult/exhausting when it's a mental or willpower based thing. For example, switching tasks at work takes a lot of mental effort, getting myself to do something unexpected takes a lot of willpower, both of these things exhaust me. What doesn't exhaust me and can actually be recharging is cleaning. I can be very obsessive about cleaning, if something is out of place it bugs me and if it's out of place for too long I HAVE to clean it. Combine that with sensory problems of feeling those small dirt specs on my feet on hard floors and I have to clean constantly, but it's so easy and engraved in my brain that it takes no effort to transition to cleaning and I don't have to use any mental effort because I know how to clean at an instinctual level and looking around is what tells me what to clean. It's like a mental standby mode for me when I'm cleaning.
I would love to see a video on how to recover from hyoerfocus, as when I hyoerfocus I feel destroyed afterwards, with mental images of the thing I was focusing on. Similarly, if I go to the cinema I am then overloaded for a day with images and colours from the movie.
Oh god! The next day job baggage. Very hard to let go of what's happening tomorrow. Sunday nights are horrible. No sleep as the anxiety ramps up for transitioning to Monday. I just want to get the start of the week over and enter work mode.
Wishing we can all get there with our energy conservation systems becoming more easily workable. It will as we learn how to do it for us, and not how NT people suggest we do so. They mean to help, but usually ots only how they know how to work their system, not our own. Apples to oranges kind of thing.
My strategy is doing a drill time once a week. I set timers for about when I think I'll get absorbed in something, then I have to switch tasks when the alarm goes off. I have about three tasks, for me about 15 mins recurring timer for alarm gap, and I keep switching for the drill time. It varies, sometimes I even shorten time gap to fit a drill in when very busy. Usually 1 hour to 1.5 before it's hard to keep up, but rapid drills can be done in 5 min intervals for 15 to 30 minutes total. I just have to have 3 very interesting things to keep switching between, or it's not very useful to test how I will react to interruptions when I'm deeply focused. Still, any practice time is better than skipping it for me. Routine is a priority for most of us, I believe.
After the drills, for real life interruptions, I mentally play my alarm noise, and then it's a learned task, the transition itself. I practice being calm when it's a controlled drill, then it's Pavlov dog response to be calm about being interrupted. It's just like any skill, it's easier to do the more often you can practice your "homework" before the "test".
I love this channel, and I think I need to share it with my gma. She resisted the idea this weekend when I told her for the first time "I am exploring a diagnosis for autism, it explains do much about my life". I've been putting it off for a decade now since figuring I > might, no wait, definitely > am part of the spectrum, and being diagnosed wasn't a priority until now.
I think since she is older, she might not have a very accurate definition for the word autism as I used it. Will be trying to help her learn, but not banking on it/needing it to happen. Rejection is only too familiar to me, so I at least have learned to manage my emotional expectations a bit better than before. Any progress is preferable to none, so any errors left are easier to spot and learn how to navigate better in the future.
Much love to you Paul. The work your doing here is very appreciated, and I like you for you, not how you are managing to behave or not. We allstruggle, some more, some less, but we can all learn to do empathy "more better". Aloha
Your Videos are so good,
im self autism and everday of my life is so heavy. 🎉👏
Ah jeez this hits so percisely. I legit only set like two tasks a day, though still find myself wanting to do a multitude of other things. Have a hard time knowing what the 'right' thing to do is, which just makes me anxious and do nothing instead lol.
One thing that helps me transition is writing things out. I have a few notebooks; one for just random thoughts or things i want to think about (like researching about a product for a friend or looking up w.e) and one for more concrete journaling with task lists n stuff too.
But I also will have a small white board that I'll use to start my next task. At the top I put what the task is and the immediate next steps I need to take (no end goals and usually only the first lime 3 immediate next steps). This helps me transition knowing exactly what I to do. I'll make a smaller section for what I plan to do on breaks too. This doesnt always work but I find it works better than talking out loud or in my mind to initiate things. Ive never found saying or thinking 'okay do this' to be helpful at all...tho it still gets recc to me by professionals lol
I struggle with switching tasks quite a bit. I usually don’t do well when I am forced to switch between tasks within an hour. I appreciate when the time it takes me to “rev my engine” is respected. It usually takes between 2-3 hours for me to get going on something difficult. So after 4-6 hours of doing what I need to do for the day, productivity wise, then I can manage other things such as summer plans or whether I’d like to go to a movie or what job I’ll have in a year.
Walking and naps are very important to my life. You are bang on, for both of these helping one relax.
This switching from task to task has been a problem all my life. 67 years old ADHD/Dyslexic. Have used your strategy in the past and it’s very effective. Having and maintaining enough control over most of my life so as to be able to use that strategy has come and gone with changes I had no control over. Thanks for making this clear and easy to see and understand.
I related to your experience so much. Thanks for the tips.
I'm married with 3 kids and in our younger days, it really helped for my husband to take all 3 kids and go do something, so I had alone time in my own house (we lived away from family, so we were all alone!) Back then, I spent it decluttering, cleaning or reworking a system to help me with my Executive Function tasks. He would take them out for a couple of hours. As we earned more, he would take them on overnights or for the entire weekend...what a HUGE blessing! Now that they are older (sports, social, etc.), I have my house in it's best state to carry out Executive Functions reasonably well...so *I* go away to rest/recharge. If I don't, I get "MOM!'d" to death. LOL
Haven't watched this one yet, but jumping at the chance to say thanks for the content. Have enjoyed several, helpful indeed.
Absolutely grateful for your insight! I hear so much self awareness and self compassion in this and your last video (which was the first I saw.) Excited to keep learning from your experience and wisdom. Keep up the great work helping the world.
I understand you so well.
Thank you, Friend.
morning walks and afternoon bike rides have been helpful transitions...
Thank you for your videos
Amazing. You just described me and my cousin who is staying with me. We love each other dearly but sometimes we don’t communicate well and now I understand why. Thank you!
I've basically just been biting the bullet and accepting that I can't always consistently focus on one task at a time, especially when interruptions are so frequent in my day-to-day life. I always comfort myself with the knowledge that I can always refuse to do the next task, or maybe take the next day off from work, or that my current task isn't the most important thing in the world. Working consistent breaks into my daily life has helped a lot, and if things come up, I can somewhat shift around things in my schedule.
I like to over rev, I know my best torque and HP peaks...If I'm still breathing I'm still alive.
This explains so much of my life
I'm a web designer by trade, and this problem of switching tasks reminds me of the version control systems we use. There's a software called Git tracks changes to a file system. The system is linear with a main record and developers branch off this main record to make their changes and then merge them back into the main branch later. A lot of times you have to work different branches, but to switch branches you have all this extra work of storing the changes you've made to the current branch so you can return to it later.
That's kinda what my brain experiences too. I have all this unfinished work I have to store in special way before I can switch to something else.
If I don't have that time to process, I crash and I'm no good to anyone until I reboot.
Your videos have made me understand so much about myself.. The more I watch the more painful it is because I finally know that I've been masking my whole life.. It's a lot to process in the past two days of watching
For me, its not only tasks but transitions from one environment to another. Also, goodbyes! So awkward but also moving on to the next thing or place.
This is a good idea. Im going to try it
Great video very informative 😊
Yeah - I struggle with this myself. As part of my mind is berating me for "not doing anything" in between more intense bouts of concentration, I keep telling myself "all the way down" - to let the brain untangle and stay untangle and stay in that zone I sometimes call "zombie zone" for longer. Thank you for sharing this!!
Honestly it was hard for me to focus after hearing the example of how your wife might ask you if you want to go on a hike days in advance while you're in the middle of doing something else...like what!?! Your patience is immense 😂
Looking forward to this one
I have to have very separated environments and compartments (in my mind I guess) to be able to disconnect and relax. It’s hard considering that I’m a scientist and I’m expected to work from home even after a long day at work, but I can’t do it, unless it’s extremely necessary. I’ve found that if I get home and totally disconnect right away I can relax and let the work things out of my mind. But if I try to work from home while taking care of my child, cooking dinner, etc, I burn out so easily. I also find benefit from shutting down when I have those stressful days. I need to be in the dark in silence and alone for an hour or so before bed to be able to relax and turn off my brain. The “good” thing is that I’m forced to shut down as my body doesn’t respond anymore and my eyes start closing without effort, so it’s almost like an auto program to relax when I can’t disconnect.
This strategy reminds me of collision time in physics. You decrease the force acting on an object by increasing the amount of time it spend colliding with the ground, or something like that. I might not remember that right. That class was excruciating for me.
Over the last two years, I've used naps to help with transitions. Sometimes my brain is just in the wrong state to shift to the next task. This usually happens if I'm doing a highly analytic task, like programming, and then have to do something highly creative, like writing. Napping eases the switch.
4:57: i had to take off my earplugs because of the booming sound aftar paul says "so..." LOL I felt it inside my brain
Most people don't mult- task well, but most won't admit it. They skim. Things are usually 80% done at most, but I do know that it's different on the spectrum.
me is to be organized enough to complete the task. I tend to be everywhere and completely disorganized.
I can relate very much to your experience :)
Pre Dx, I would tell my (now ex) husband that his habit of popping in to share every stray thought with me was hard for me. I explained that I was usually quite far "down a rabbit hole" and would need to climb back out of it to give him my attention and then try to find my way back down the rabbit hole again (only for him to pop in with the next thought and start the cycle again). I felt like a terrible person getting so annoyed when he just wanted to connect. I had no idea I was autistic at the time or that this was normal for me
Walking and my horses help me relax
Wish you could interview someone with kids on how they manage transitions. The constant chaos and transitions throughout the day due to having kids is overloading my system. Having a regular job in contrast is easy in comparison since the boundaries and transitions are much better managed
You describe my brains daily thoughts to a T.
You’re mention of a walk on the beach. My version is golf. I picked it up at 34 and now at 42 I’ve played and practiced so much I’m to a +2 handicap. Which is supposed to be impossible for na adult. My secret. Walking out back and practicing ( I have the room ) is like your walk on the beach. It’s the only task that lets my brain release all the other work stuff. It requires enough focus that I can’t focus on both. It’s the most peace I’ve ever had in my life. So of course I want to keep doing it. Daily. Which led to me being good at it.
That feeling like my wheels are turning at full speed but I'm unable to take the brake off because I can't choose which direction to go in first is exhausting.
I clearly can relate to your experiences. Nice story about the inability to respond to a question right in the middle of something else. That's so me. Unfortunately, not everybody can afford such large breaks. But yes, I try to restrict the number of tasks I take up - at least the ones that need a short-term result. Unfortunately, this isn't always possible. What helps me is reducing other kinds of stress besides juggling several tasks at a time. A short story: right at the beginning of the pandemic I used to work from home. However, the environment at home comes with lots of distractions. Therefore, I wasn't able to live up to my quality standards. The results were slow and bad. As soon as I returned to my quiet office, my efficiency improved a lot.
i have no idea how to deal with this ASD at all :( :(
such a useful way to think. But I love multitasking... and still transition time often renders me out for days
Exactly!
One of the things about transitions that I experience but you didn't explore is that if I'm struggling already with a transition (such as when I'm already overtaxed and burned out by noon) then any extraneous input such as asking a question, music that's not at the same emotional temperature as me, or an irritating light flicker will force me to cycle back to the start of transition mode. Sometimes this can cause me to loose half an hour or more because people don't believe me when I say "I really need you to not add data until I'm reactivated because it will make this stuckness take longer."
This is the problem with day jobs, which I am trying to figure out what to do, or how to start working for myself.