The Internet's Strangest Confessions | Chuckle Sandwich
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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
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On this episode of Chuckle Sandwich, we dove into Reddit and discovering some of the strangest confessions you'll ever hear. Enjoy!
Voicemails: www.speakpipe....
All Our Socials: linktr.ee/chuc...
Tucker: / thetuckerkeane
/ tuckerkeane
/ @tuckerkeane
Edited by Keane Editing Solutions
Intro Music by Oval: • The OFFICIAL Chuckle S...
Portions of Intro Sequence animated by Megg: • Chuckle Sandwich Podca...
Thumbnail Work: x.com/dvdaltizer
Chuckle Sandwich is a podcast hosted by Ted Nivison and Jared Schlatt where they bring on guests across the internet to talk about whatever is on their mind. They haven't figured out what this podcast is about yet. - Комедії
Since the start of the podcast it feels like Ted has aged proportionate to the amount of years it's been going while Schlatt is an unchanging trickster imp who only exists to torment everyone around him
Accurate
Exactly
charlie isn’t aging anymore 🕊️
If he shaves he'll look younger than before
@@willrbx yeah because he died when they sent him into the sphynx. too soon, man.
"You're the biggest cat ever" that's the most regular sized cat I've ever seen, default sized cat
It’s because jumbo used to be smaller than that so he is just teasing, you don’t seem like you watch schlatt or even know who he is 😭
You need to remember that schlatt is in fact, a big guy, standing at a whopping 6'3 and weighing around 250 lbs. Any big cat would look small in comparison to a big guy like that!
@@imhonestlyjustsoconfused exactly and Jambo use to be a baby but is growing up to be a big guy but never as big as our big man
@@imhonestlyjustsoconfused u got a little mixed up there but i get what u mean
I think jambo is one of those stretchy cats that becomes infinitely long if you try to move him in a way he doesn’t want, so it makes him seem bigger
Timestamps:
Start 0:00
End 59:03
thanks so much! now i can simply skip to the end of the video
No shit
@@egnicknoob Multiple shit
Thank you.
The episodes are shortening. Thank God.
Schlatt saying "skelingtons" instead of skeletons tickles a part of my brain, not sure why
“Schkelington” really is a pretty funny guy sometimes.
might be a brain tumour
The tubbo way
I only say skelingtons now
@a_plastic_bag Yeah, it's probably the brain rot from watching this podcast. Naturally, Tedison's fault.
SPOILER WARNING⚠️
Special guest Jambo appears at 0:44
Special guest Jambo says "hi" at 1:04
Special guest Jambo is spotted again at 7:12
Special guest Jambo is harassed at 7:48
Special guest Jambo annoys "sclour patch" at 16:16
Special guest Jambo is mentioned at 37:57
Special guest Jambo's 🧲 incident is mentioned at 39:09
thank you this saves me so much time now i don’t have to listen to them talk
Jambo gets more cut than Tucker.
I only watch for jambo and [REDACTED]
@@camille1795makes sense
spoiler warning next time
Ted surgically switched my legs.
Same, he did it to my kidneys too
he inverted the hemispheres of my brain, i’m left handed now :(
I haven't watched the whole thing, I'm worried
@@willrbx You get to park in the disabled spot now.
Um tell him to give them back
Gotta love listening to 3 grown men talking in my ears on a wednesday night
3 grown men talking about women
@@moongirl-d9heven better, adds a little bit of ✨spice✨
I love having big grown men talking in my ears at all times.
Listen to Distractible and listen to three grown men talking in your ears on a Monday and Friday morning
@@moongirl-d9hthat’s a lie, we all know schlatt talks about men
Thanks for having me on! Too bad I never said anything.
I loved your silence 😊
I loved your commentary !!
so glad you joined this ep! man the part when you said
Tucker starts speaking 1:03
Thank you
absolute high point of the pod. all downhill from then on like usual...
I needed this
Thank you for the warning
phew thanks
Halloween Schlatt is wrapped in bandages, everyone thinks he's dressed as a mummy but it's not a costume he actually just fell.
he was bludgeoned multiple times for his actions in september 11 2001
I bet Schlatt thought no one would notice this, but when he mentioned the idea of “getting a hotel room and binge eating seafood” theres actually a time to smile (schlatts arg) yt short that has a reddit story about a guy doing that but with candy. I got you schloppy
Also if you dont know abou the arg, just look it up a few ppl have made videos on it
OOOO
No one asked nor cares
@@Rustyfork_25holy cool guy over here
Was interesting until Rustyfork said it wasn’t 😿 sorry bud
“Schaltt” can’t even go 2-4 days without getting injured
Lol or drinking 🗿
bludgeoned you mean
Stop it with the ranges
chuckle sandwich never fails to crush both of my knees inwards
she crows mentioned
Schlatt stole my kidney.
@@SpartanBrix schlork took my appendix
@@EditingOliver123 schleffery schlamer put my corpse in his fridge
For me it's just my left knee
Ted's clone is so convincing!
Podcast of Theseus
Let’s say, hypothetically, both Ted and “Schlatt” (66% of the podcast) have been replaced. Is it still the same podcast once they get Tucker? Think about it
@@CallofFreaky look at what's on the silver chuckle and answer your own question bud
tucker sandwich
@@souljaboy.6668they should do a special ep called Tucker sandwich where it’s just Tucker talking to teo prerecorded videos of himself
Here tho 51:01
I love zong from Chuckle SaNDWICH
For anyone curious, dude who hired the PI confronted her, told her he'd hired a PI, left her sorry ass, and then she tried to come at him for palimony, meaning money owed outside of a marriage after separation
you are heavenly thank you
I liked that Jschlatt actually talked more this episode in comparison to last epiosde, proud of you for making an effort Jschlatt, keep up the good work.
Not being on ADHD medication only because you're dragging your feet getting insurance might be one of the most ADHD problems I've heard
its probably more likes hes american and cant afford it
@@pl4t1numVALdo you really think Ted is broke? Lol
@@SuperKyliebearhe lives in LA and drugs are there to break your wallet
@@arkap8596 And? 40 dollars a month is a real killer for someone making 10k+ a month.
@@SuperKyliebeari think the joke was just meant to poke fun at american healthcare :p less ab Teds pockets
I'm still waiting for Theodore to confess to what he did to my junior league baseball team in 2016.
He took inspiration from Schlatt in '99.
Dude get over it
He took ya girl jus get over it
It has to be better than what "Shlesticle" did to my friend's father in 1999. Hearing just the number 9 is enough to give him a breakdown
Can we get a Tucker only episode
NO I HATE TUCKER
@@veryverbalsquiddeath penalty
@@veryverbalsquid condemn him to the infirmary
@@StarDiSaF omg miracle musical reference
@@slippinsydney AAAAÀAHHHHHHHHH
Guys seriously? Now is not a good time.
you say that like it’s a phone call
Is it not? @@SillyGoofyOllie
@@mikewazowzki8759 right mb
I'm a psychometrician (not psychologist) and I do IQ tests, it's not really as simple as your number means how "smart" you are. The test has a lot of different tasks and some of them people have never done before, but it's mostly used to test your level of functioning, critical thinking and problem solving. However, it can also be used to observe some mental disorders like ADHD, where a whole section can be heavily influenced if you have ADHD. So, if one with ADHD was to take it (unmedicated) it be lower but that would have nothing to do with your intelligence exactly. Usually a good psychologist will keep in mind a lot of factors and will sometimes tell you it's not a determining factor towards how smart you are exactly. But it is a good tool for many other things like the ones mentioned.
An 80 might just mean you have a hard time understanding tasks or situations, or it may involve a lot of other things depending on which sections had lower scores.
It's still cool what it tells us when we score everything. I am not a psychologist, just the person who gives the test and scores it so if there are any psychologists here who might know more please feel free to correct me.
I went to school for psychology for a number of years (later switched to bio), and IQ tests were emphasized to not be reliable in measuring intelligence because intelligence is a really abstract thing. There's a whole discussion for how intelligence can be measured, how to embody all forms of intelligence (you can't), etc. etc. There's yet to be a test made that could properly encapsulate every angle.
That's really cool to know how IQ tests can be used as an informative tool based on your job.
yeah i'm twice exceptional and autistic, my iq is 131. When it comes to academics i'm really smart, but i'm severely delayed in social situations and situational awareness
@@Shiloh_has_a_bird Are you the poisoner?
Apandah needs to speak up man 😭🙏
wrong podcast man 😭
Who is supposed to mark the beast's first utterance if it never speaks?
Now THIS is some Chuckle Maxing material
who up chuckling they sandwhich rn
@@leakdeo 🙋♂️
@@leakdeo I mean how could you not?
Currently being mauled by huge roaches in the aftermath of a nuclear war but can’t stop that chuckling
"schlattcaller" has an adorable jambo
I wish Schlatt would talk to me the way he talks to his cats.
Edit: This was what we call a joke by the way. I'm a super straight man. :)
REAL
real
oh my lord
yeah tbh
same
Still waiting for Ted to just randomly appear in schaltts room
I want schlatt to appear in tuckers room
@mikewazowzki8759 why not schlatt AND ted?
ted on the bed
this episode came out at the perfect time, i was goosin' for a chuckle if i'm keeping it crystal. I possess an undiagnosed mental illness that is currently being investigated.
goosin for a chuckle is now my new favourite phrase. thankI you for this
the english language is your 48 oysters
Congrats schlatt on laying your 4th egg
Happy 42nd birthday Ted, 13 more to go!
schlatt go one episode without being injured challenge
you guys i’m not gonna lie, teds fashion era is fashion era-ing this episode
I fear you are correct
no
Jschlatt is looking very handsome as usual
this is the perfect podcast to chuckle to
Perfect podcast to perform eldritch horrors to.
people be like "they put their clothing in the place where their cat sh!ts" and I am like "yeah, and we shower in the same room where we sh!t" lol
but that one gets flushed!!!
@@kovici7226 is that what we're supposed to do? oh man, no wonder my bathroom smells horrible.
@@hellomynameisrodney no way you have all that room in the lower deck…
52:55 Ted's fashion era is finally paying off. That Superman slick back, the jacket and the undershirt is kinda hot.
I must confess I didn't mean to click on this video. Bye.
Come back bro
Dude same 😭 not even joking
We miss you man
Well that’s just rude, at least stay a while
I thought for sure this would be a brand new account, I see bots post this CONSTANTLY
5:50 I zoned out and came back during this part
Chuckle sandwich never fails to mention what happened in 1999! Schlorp schlott schlunket. If you see this, we remember. Wake up.
Schlorp schlott schlunket is absolutely insane HAHAHA
"scaat" starts speaking at 0:00
Thanks i was looking for that part
I TRAINED MY CAT, RUDY, TO USE THE TOILET. HE DOESN'T EVER FLUSH AND IS OFTEN INCREDIBLY RUDE ABOUT IT NOW
Best thing to do for a cat litter box is change from the clay litter to something like walnut or corn husk litter. We prefer walnut husk its not to expensive, absorbs the odor as well as clay especially if you sprinkle baking soda on it when you refresh; biggest benefit is the lack of dust, the litter does not track almost at all.
i MEANT to click on this video. Every time I see Ted’s lovely room, I smile from ear to ear! Huzzah for Chuckle Sandwich! 🎉
We trained my cat to shit outside. It like learned from my dog or something. Never used the litter box, always just meow'd to go outside
My neighbors cat was also trained to go shit outside. Last month she went out to piss at 7: AM in the morning. She was tragically attacked by coyotes which are common in my area and passed away. Coyotes are animals that usually are not out and walking around at that time and it was also only for a few minutes and near the house so it seemed improbable. My neighbor hasn’t let their cats out for the past few weeks..
@@lakers4life71 omg thats just an out of nowhere accident :( i hope your neighbor is doing okay
Hearing ted say he couldnt inject himself once a week is rlly funny as a type 1 diabetic. I was diagnosed at 16 so it was a big change, but even with a fear of needles the multiple time a day injections quickly became normal.
Schlip n’ Schlide
UA-cam apparently thinks this comment requires translation to English, which becomes "Tie n' Schlide", which I'm pretty sure still isn't English 😂
First Jambo sighting since 1999!!! So glad to see he is still alive!!!
You've heard of the liver king, get ready for the chuckle king (and schlatt and Ted)
This is the perfect podcast to listen to while suffering the eternal torture of my own doing!
"schlatt" never fails to make me violently ill
Ted sure has some strange internet confessions…like what he did to my kneecaps back in ‘87. Still haven’t recovered from that day.
schlarticus’ sigh at the start didnt need to make him sound like a single dad of four that much
i think after schlatt in the intro, we need one single picture of tucker that just says "this guy"
changing ted to schlatt in the thumbnail is crazy work
Rip Charlie, you will live forever in our hearts
I must confess I’m stuck in a thunderstorm but I can’t stop the chuckle sandwich grind 🔥🔥
I actually relate to the seafood one a lot, as I've also been trapped in a stupid lie about something entirely meaningless for about two decades: having no sense of smell. I was allergic to some kind of pollen or something in the area where I grew up in Florida, and was always congested so I couldn't ever really smell anything. After moving out of Florida, I don't know why, but I'd just tell people I have no sense of smell. I've kept this up for about twenty years now, and literally no one questions it, including my family. I actually think my brain has adjusted to me not using my sense of smell to the point where I *actually* can't smell anymore. I have no idea why I've done this.
i bet 20 bucks schlatt says the word “bludgeoned” atleast 5 times this episode
Been watching yall for forever, thanks for the chuckles, always looking forward for it
25:35 "I just wouldn't want to inject myself every week" Teds voice says from my headphones as I set out my T stuff for tomorrow.
Anyway, I find self injections aren't that bad, at the least mine aren't. I take my shots in the thigh, it's really more about will power (convincing you're body to stab itself) than pain. I've had papercuts that hurt less.
Me
26 not 25.... dont ever let me catch u making a mistake like this ever again harlot
Felt that it's shot day for me 😅
They all really chuckled this time
55:09 LIFE HACK:
If you light matches after you take a crap it won’t smell anymore
I no longer need therapy my chuckle sandwich got uploaded
a phycologist once told me that its best to not get your iq tested cuz it can hurt your mental state and make you feel worse about it
I just wanted to pop in and say that Schlatt and Ted are both people and Tucker is also a person.
Huge if true
idk man
no i dont think so
my dog is literally dying, but i cant stop that chuckle sandwich grind
Intro ends at 1:50
My favorite dads at a bbq are back at it with the mediocre conversation!
this is the best podcast to watch the twitch channel @tuckerkeane to
bring back the episode number
I do maintenance inside of a carousel early in the mornings and I listen to you guys every morning, keep up the awesome work.
I just want to have a conversation with Ted I feel like he is so disassociated with real people. He has been in California so long. I miss Charlie
48:11
Mans in the perfect positon for a hilarious long con prank.
Just start chowing down on seafood at some point. Don't answer any questions until people start freaking out and then come clean, tell the full story and have a good laugh with everyone.
schlatt looks like theyre slowly being compressed by an unseen force about 10 minutes into these
ted at 52:30 and then tucker and schlatts reaction afterwards was like watching the debate when biden was stuttering and trump said he didn’t understand a word
This podcast always gives me a good schluckle
12:26 was such a profound conversation that i wholeheartedly agree with
Oh my I didn't figure that out either about catcalling 0:58
As a high schooler back in 2017, I worked as a cashier at CVS for 3 months. Dropped acid with friends the night before an 8hr shift on a Saturday... quickly came to the same conclusion. Told em I quit that Sunday lmao
Yeah I didn’t think ted was good enough to be in this thumbnail either after what he did. Good call changing it to schlatt
The perfect podcast to listen to while I avoid taking my medication
i miss Charlie
Tucker really makes the podcast feel complete! Love having him join the discussion 😄
Was looking for something to sleep to 20 minutes ago. Thank god i procrastinated going to sleep till now🥳😮💨
My power has been out for 14 hours and its only just now been restored and coincidentally you posted at the same time, thank you for your help
JAMBO IS ALIVEEEEEE🎉
Just came back from a Tucker stream, the more Tucker content the better
I did not consent to this upload
Loved watching the thumbnail change from Ted to schlatt
yea...
Currently listening to this while taking a fat dump. I can tell that I'll be bleeding after wiping this. My stomach is churning. My rear is burning. My ears are ringing with tinnitus. I am praying for help.
I was just listening to old episode, thanks for that new drop+
Crazy thing. Buddy of mine works in a diamond mine in northern Canada. He’s a mechanic for heavy duty machinery, and they pull a lot of diamonds from the mine. The more profit the mine makes the higher the yearly bonuses are. But the diamond companies 100% get them. Refine them and then keep them in a warehouse and say that they are low on supply, when they aren’t. Its such a shady business but man does it pay well
cant you undercut them by selling directly
@@OsirusHandle not sure as I don’t work there and this is only what I’ve been told. But that would probably be illegal and if
You just show up as a normal guy to a place to get diamonds graded it would look suspicious and you ofc would be asked where you got them from
every episode tucker becomes more of a member of the podcast instead of just the background boy
Tucker is a comedic genius
1:08 , Ted making up for the tragic "loss" of Charles. Don't think we don't know what you've done, Ted.
Jambo makes a return
showerhead question: i (a woman) take it off the handle to clean downstairs, which is pretty hard for a woman to do thoroughly when the water is coming from above. also sometimes having it closer helps with rinsing out long hair (due to higher water pressure), and i like to rinse myself off up close at the end of my shower. i'd be pretty fucked if i couldn't reach the showerhead
Jambo appears at 0:41
Stolen literally verbatim
My fault I didn’t see your comment I just got excited to see Jambo
I loved listening to this while working…
…at CVS