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Rome: Total War is Completely Broken, and I Love It Anyway

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  • Опубліковано 31 бер 2019
  • Rome: Total War is one of best games ever created, but it's also hilariously broken. So let's see what we can get away with, if I push the game to its absolute limit...
    Rome: Total War on Steam - store.steampow...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 784

  • @konkonvulpix8712
    @konkonvulpix8712 5 років тому +1409

    It’s mighty impressive that Marius was able to reform the army a century before he was born.

    • @justderp5713
      @justderp5713 5 років тому +12

      KonKonVulpix Nice

    • @darthbugge3987
      @darthbugge3987 4 роки тому +89

      He was born when every he wants

    • @pumpkin6429
      @pumpkin6429 4 роки тому +39

      Fuck you, mom. I'll be born now if I wanna be!

    • @subatomicseal7789
      @subatomicseal7789 4 роки тому +23

      I mean they never mentioned *which* Marius now did they

    • @michaelcarr4748
      @michaelcarr4748 4 роки тому +8

      @@pumpkin6429 More like; "#### you, Great Gran. I'll be born now if I wanna be!"

  • @paulhinton9110
    @paulhinton9110 5 років тому +925

    “Remember that time we stuffed a Gaul village with so many proletariat and Cathargenian slaves that it’s population increased by 1100% in 9 years? Good times” -Cicero

  • @jcb5782
    @jcb5782 4 роки тому +82

    Legatus: “Right lads, welcome to the legion. Today is your fir...”
    Aide-de-camp: “Sir, here are the land grants for the new arrivals.”
    Legatus: “Men, you have us proud today! Consider yourself a citizen of Rome. Here’s your farm.”

  • @aslandus
    @aslandus 5 років тому +368

    Oppius Brutus: "I rule the world"
    Senator: "You rule Carthage"
    Oppius Brutus: *Gestures toward slave market containing half the world's population* "I don't like to repeat myself"

  • @gincraze
    @gincraze 5 років тому +825

    "Sorry, I'm getting distracted."
    Nooo! More Ancient History Hour with Jon please!

    • @honda6353
      @honda6353 5 років тому +34

      This is why I'm subscribed

    • @MrMatomaty
      @MrMatomaty 5 років тому +9

      Yeeeees

    • @skeletonrowdie1768
      @skeletonrowdie1768 5 років тому +10

      mars mission supervisor lol yeah he really pulled me in there

    • @TheGhostbuster1989
      @TheGhostbuster1989 5 років тому +21

      I wouldn't mind a 5-hour lecture about ancient rome from Jon

    • @Makkajakka
      @Makkajakka 5 років тому +4

      I think Carthage provided a large amount of grain to Rome too, since the Vandals, a nomadic people who were kicked out of everywhere where they tried to settle, ending up holding Rome to ransom when they took Carthage!

  • @killer115ish
    @killer115ish 5 років тому +495

    Rome: Total war is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits

    • @publiusthehandsome2314
      @publiusthehandsome2314 5 років тому +19

      and other lies you can tell yourself:

    • @bemusedalligator
      @bemusedalligator 5 років тому +63

      @@publiusthehandsome2314 "x is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits" is a video series by The Spiffing Brit where he basically does this to every game he can think of.

    • @rachael2177
      @rachael2177 5 років тому +11

      Yessss "the spiffing Brit"!

    • @MrDUneven
      @MrDUneven 5 років тому +10

      Needs more tea.

    • @OldTotalWarrior
      @OldTotalWarrior 5 років тому +4

      There are some battle exploits dealing with seiges and there is a naval movement exploit but it's nothing like M2TW or Empire TW where you can roll over the map in a handful of turns.

  • @gigicestone4902
    @gigicestone4902 4 роки тому +16

    "What the fuck!"
    - Gaius Marius, when he entered the senate and was informed that his reforms had been introduced decades before his birth.

  • @idunbeezasmart1
    @idunbeezasmart1 5 років тому +537

    Can anyone else imagine Jon mimicking Mr. Narrator Man while making this video?
    "THE GRAIN IS OURS!"

    • @mikkellopez8429
      @mikkellopez8429 5 років тому +55

      Absolutely.
      "All Rome will be amazed at all this slavery! THE GRAIN IS OURS!"

    • @thehesedingking338
      @thehesedingking338 5 років тому +30

      This is a heroic harvest, worthy of roman farmers!

    • @zjotheglorious
      @zjotheglorious 4 роки тому +5

      @@thehesedingking338 Worthy of roman farms

    • @johndaarteest
      @johndaarteest 3 роки тому +2

      If he's going to talk about grain it has to be done in a ' husky' voice.

  • @tiberiusbrutus942
    @tiberiusbrutus942 5 років тому +1249

    I hate this holiday. Why dedicate an entire day to subjecting peasants to lame jokes and overall misery when you should be able to do that 365 days a year? This is ridiculous.

    • @skeletonrowdie1768
      @skeletonrowdie1768 5 років тому +28

      tiberius brutus for dictator!

    • @publiusthehandsome2314
      @publiusthehandsome2314 5 років тому +21

      Wait, what do you mean we aren't supposed to do that all year?

    • @MitchellImohA7X
      @MitchellImohA7X 5 років тому +12

      God I missed these

    • @harleymitchelly5542
      @harleymitchelly5542 5 років тому +8

      It seems your brother Oppius is quite the manager of Carthage Tiberius.
      Contrary to the attempts to plow the earth with salt, it seems he has made a city to rival Rome.

    • @alansmithee419
      @alansmithee419 5 років тому +1

      But what about leap years?
      Are you suggesting we should give them breaks!?

  • @justderp5713
    @justderp5713 5 років тому +521

    "Lol just use romeshell idiot"
    - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

    • @justderp5713
      @justderp5713 5 років тому +4

      I am shocked that this comment has 146 likes but no replies

    • @ingamingpc1634
      @ingamingpc1634 5 років тому +1

      lol

    • @sjonnieplayfull5859
      @sjonnieplayfull5859 4 роки тому +2

      @@justderp5713 there is not much to add. Nothing actualy

    • @decp6601
      @decp6601 4 роки тому

      Lol

    • @Speederzzz
      @Speederzzz 4 роки тому

      I miss romeshell in the new games

  • @janehrahan5116
    @janehrahan5116 3 роки тому +45

    Some scaling maths, a standard legionary cohort had about 500 fighting men. The standard unit scale in rome total war is 40. 500/40 is a ratio of 12.5. 12.5x 80000 is 1 million. So the game is close to modeling everything to scale.

  • @Streptovarius
    @Streptovarius 5 років тому +211

    Census taker "Why is everyone in this city named Steve?"

    • @thesacredlobo
      @thesacredlobo 4 роки тому +5

      So they can be controlled by the millennium rod in a bid to raise the population growth rate even higher by ordering them to reproduce.

  • @ryanbrewis6990
    @ryanbrewis6990 5 років тому +442

    *raises a legion of Hastati in Lilybaeum*
    *soldiers eagerly ask where they're going*
    *upon arrival in Carthage* Right, that's you lads. Well done, thank you for your service, now sod off.

    • @DZ-1987
      @DZ-1987 5 років тому +73

      "Have a house, while you're at it"

    • @revoltanimation8957
      @revoltanimation8957 5 років тому

      Ryan Brewis don’t get it

    • @DZ-1987
      @DZ-1987 5 років тому +17

      Its british for "Your service in the army is done"
      Basically, Jon took an army, had them march from one city to another and the soldiers with great eagerness asked "What are your orders, sir?"
      And the captain told them that their service is no longer needed.

    • @DZ-1987
      @DZ-1987 5 років тому +6

      In other words, they got a free house.

    • @revoltanimation8957
      @revoltanimation8957 5 років тому +4

      DZ oh ok thx

  • @suborbitalprocess
    @suborbitalprocess 5 років тому +175

    37:00 After annihilating nations across the world in multiple games, Jon turns to destroy one final empire; his own. The circle is complete

  • @backstagerm5733
    @backstagerm5733 4 роки тому +59

    Two things I hate in this game:
    1- The fact you can't cross short distances of water without a ship.
    2- Ariminum.

    • @sappypngn
      @sappypngn 4 роки тому +1

      What's wrong with Arminium?

    • @backstagerm5733
      @backstagerm5733 4 роки тому +2

      @@sappypngn Its negative income always pisses me off.

    • @sappypngn
      @sappypngn 4 роки тому +6

      @@backstagerm5733 Never had that problem if memory serves. But counter to this vid, I actively pull out of cities, let them rebel, then retake it and exterminate the population. Low population in big cities eliminates squalor and makes for high profit.
      Govern fairly, but when they act against your interests(and therefore, Rome's interests) put them to the sword.

    • @backstagerm5733
      @backstagerm5733 4 роки тому

      @@sappypngn Good idea 😂

    • @jakubcidlik
      @jakubcidlik 4 роки тому +11

      @@backstagerm5733 Because payment of your army and generals is calculated among population. Which means big cities like Arminium are paying your army, but are unable to generate so much profit a thus are officially having negative balance.

  • @Supadubya
    @Supadubya 5 років тому +45

    The mutual growth-bonuses, even between grain-producing regions, you cover at 19:00 actually makes perfect sense.
    Some regions in the ancient Mediterranean were extremely fertile. But farming was also very fickle with the technology of the day. Crop failures could easily lead to starvation, and food stored in granaries could easily be ruined by rats and other vermin.
    Having grain-producing regions trade with each other could help to stabilize the food supply. If Egypt experienced crop failures due to a poor set of Nile floods that year, or Carthage reaped a poor harvest due to a dry winter in the upriver mountains that year (farming in Carthage- back then called Libya- was heavily dependent on irrigation from rivers fed from the mountains nearby. A dry year in the mountains could lead to a lack of adequate water for Libyan farmers to irrigate their crops without risking salinizaton of the soil- which is what ultimately occurred over time, with a large portion of Tunisian farmland now being degraded from its Carthaginian era heights...) then one grain-prodycing region could sell its surplus to another. This might later be balanced by trade the other way when the second region experienced crop failures. This prevented starvation in years with bad harvests, and reduced grain spoilage due to long storage times (which would have been necessary with less trade).
    The net result was larger populations could be supported by an interconnected network of freely-trading cities along the Mediterranean in Roman times than could ever be supported later in Medieval times, despite agricultural technology actually advancing in some ways since Roman times... (of course, lack of Sanitation, Feudalism, and disease also all played into the smaller urban populations of Medieval Europe...)

    • @jemert96
      @jemert96 3 роки тому +4

      Great point! I find that a lot of people (anachronistically) assume that farming back then was just the same as it is now, but actually farming in the ancient world was a tricky business, making famines and large sudden migrations rampant

    • @be12
      @be12 Рік тому

      Just came here to appreciate this comment, one year later. It's kind of mind boggling that we've already created ecological disaster on a planetary scale with soil salinization, and we're going full steam ahead.

  • @thedogatemyhomework8
    @thedogatemyhomework8 5 років тому +12

    Jon! In Rome 1 there was a mechanic that allows you to visit a city under your control as if you were in a battle, just to have a little bit of exploring and see how the city looks without being threatened. You could actually see citizens wandering around the city! And, if I recall correctly, the amount of people walking around is dependent on the amount of population the city holds in the charts. I sure would love to see how Carthage looks with the population boom, putting it in at least thrice the amount of citizens it should be holding!

    • @sethgaston8347
      @sethgaston8347 Рік тому

      I’m gonna try that now, I’ll upload if the city looks more populous, I’ll also do the same city, after I wipe the population after a revolt

    • @hamzahsajjad7952
      @hamzahsajjad7952 10 місяців тому +2

      ​@@sethgaston8347can't leave us hanging like this

  • @MadTurnip
    @MadTurnip 5 років тому +25

    Oh yes, before RTW was patched, it'd been so broken:
    a phalanx could poke their pikes through closed city gates preventing ramming;
    a unit of elephants could smash a dozen Roman cohorts;
    you could do as many sally battles as you wanted in one turn;
    you could give away your rebelling cities to the enemy and take them back since there were no garrisons there;
    you could place a unit in the retraining queue, merge it with another one and get more people in it than it was supposed to have...
    Those are a few things I can think of right now from the top of my head. And I've always enjoyed the game immensely.

    • @Ugh718
      @Ugh718 4 роки тому +1

      The 1st one and 4th one still work for me lol

  • @KurosakiYukigo
    @KurosakiYukigo 5 років тому +353

    Oh no... soon you'll be obsessing over tea and the motherland!
    Speaking of, if you don't have a hot cuppa in front of you, what are you waiting for? You can't break a game without tea, it's ungentlemanly!

    • @Th3Majst3r
      @Th3Majst3r 5 років тому +24

      Dave made me say Coffee

    • @MechaMewtwo
      @MechaMewtwo 5 років тому +9

      Hes already converted claire!

    • @inferndragon
      @inferndragon 5 років тому +7

      You seem very Spiffin' right now... The Communi-tea begins :P

    • @5Andysalive
      @5Andysalive 5 років тому

      That's a very angolcentric thing to say.

    • @KurosakiYukigo
      @KurosakiYukigo 5 років тому

      @@thespiffingbrit Glad to make you proud, chum!

  • @rainbowpig7376
    @rainbowpig7376 5 років тому +347

    Advisor: We have so much grain sir, I took the liberty of shipping it off to the distant colonies to maximise profits which will give us a nic--
    Aulus Brutus: No!
    Advisor: ?... No sir?
    Aulus Brutus: BABIES! We must make more! Send it all to Italy... While your at it stamp the exports with an import stamp as well, that way we also import the grain we export so we have more grain to export later which we can the import to eat
    Advisor: bu...
    Aulus Brutus: And I destroyed every other port in the empire except this one here so you can't send it anywhere else but here hahahahahahah.
    Advisor: This isn't a go-
    Aulus Brutus: AND! tax everyone so much that they rebel, then enslave the Romans and ship them here over and over

    • @publiusthehandsome2314
      @publiusthehandsome2314 5 років тому +50

      Alright fair enough. In hindsight, appointing him as a leader might not have been our best idea.

    • @mox_hearts
      @mox_hearts 5 років тому +7

      Oh this is odd... it's probably just because I'm tired, but I think this comment is an optical illusion. Focus your eyes on the first sentence and then notice the middle of the comment, there's a diagonal line right in the center.
      Edit: Line spacing may be different for different devices so this might not work for other people. : (

    • @DZ-1987
      @DZ-1987 5 років тому +4

      You, Lady Kate are just simply Tired.

    • @mox_hearts
      @mox_hearts 5 років тому +5

      @@DZ-1987Awh darn. Here I was thinking I made some huge discovery that would baffle the scientific community for years, lol.

    • @DZ-1987
      @DZ-1987 5 років тому +3

      Nah, M'lady. If you found it, likelihood is, someone at some point has found it as well.

  • @thepebbleinstitute7702
    @thepebbleinstitute7702 5 років тому +202

    “*Operation Steve Migration*”
    10/10 Video would Jon again

  • @MattDub93
    @MattDub93 5 років тому +187

    jon you should have used the RTW street view mechanic to see what 100k people looks like

    • @RobBCactive
      @RobBCactive 5 років тому +13

      That is spot on!! If trade is pop related, the roads might be funny too!

    • @TheCrimsonAtom
      @TheCrimsonAtom 5 років тому +15

      The same as 100 , it doesn't change at all.

    • @donc815
      @donc815 5 років тому +27

      yeah sadly the game doesn’t model population amount for the size of cities, ones with 30k people seem to have the size of one with 10k

    • @davidquezada50
      @davidquezada50 5 років тому +1

      Won't show

    • @VL1975
      @VL1975 5 років тому +4

      I was so pissed they took that away from Rome 2..

  • @sto_karfi842
    @sto_karfi842 4 роки тому +8

    Rome reached a million during Nero, but still the number you see is the male population that fits for an army career, so your 100k is ×8 the normal population of a city at that time, meaning that the mechanics are good made!

  • @AlextheRambler
    @AlextheRambler 5 років тому +207

    This video is glorious

  • @mikkellopez8429
    @mikkellopez8429 5 років тому +253

    This being April Fools' and how the title cut off on mobile, I'd half expected a sarcastic hour long rant about how rome total war was broken. I'm very pleased it wasn't.

    • @sharkofjoy
      @sharkofjoy 5 років тому +2

      Same! I was also pleasantly surprised by the video.

    • @tommenno
      @tommenno 5 років тому +9

      I was expecting spiffing brit to pop up and pretend to be jon, if I'm honest.

    • @MoonGuardian866
      @MoonGuardian866 5 років тому +2

      Well id be interested, as many hours he put into it, he should be able to see the two sides of the coin, and making a totally believable and referencable critic. Someone who critics the thing he knows inside out kinda has bonus believability.

  • @orangechaos3197
    @orangechaos3197 5 років тому +75

    I almost died laughing when he said "don't forget to get my frequent slaver card stamped"

  • @owenmason8957
    @owenmason8957 5 років тому +616

    Rome: Total War Is An Absolute Nightmare - This Is Why

    • @orepheus7766
      @orepheus7766 5 років тому +4

      Ayyy!

    • @verdantsquire950
      @verdantsquire950 5 років тому +48

      Im sorry but what, i think we all know that this game is flawless and without any problems

    • @camerong3818
      @camerong3818 5 років тому +56

      Rome total war is a gift to this world

    • @kylehockaday6976
      @kylehockaday6976 5 років тому +6

      plz make fallout 2 more frequent!!!

    • @tbirdland
      @tbirdland 5 років тому

      @@verdantsquire950 wooosh

  • @donalddenne5621
    @donalddenne5621 5 років тому +5

    Jon, you should have shown off what happens in some of the weird custom battles.
    When I was a kid, I used to set up custom battles a lot on this game.
    If you set up a fort settlement for the enemy to defend.
    Fill their entire slots full of peasants.
    For your side, go full onagers, nothing else.
    When you attack them, set the onagers to flaming ammunition, and the peasants get so demoralized that they will never come out of the fort to attack your artillery. They just run around the fort dying.
    Occasionally the peasants will open the doors of the fort to challenge you, but they immediately run back inside.
    Sit back and enjoy the fireworks ;)

    • @josey6231
      @josey6231 5 років тому

      Try elephants vs dogs, enjoy

  • @broseffman
    @broseffman 5 років тому +14

    I remember back in the day getting upset when the Marian reforms hit my campaign.
    It made my 20 stack hastati armies obsolete.

  • @lumtaroc
    @lumtaroc 5 років тому +57

    Rome total war is the best total war game of all. its my favorite. best music, best map, best units. I love the wonders. with awesome videos for capturing wonders and a special feature. I love it. its not broken at all. its perfect.

    • @jamessteven711
      @jamessteven711 5 років тому +2

      Ha kids nowadays are like "it is 4k which means it's not a game and cannot be played" they missed out on good games like this
      As well as ruining the genre of strategy games..... Well developers did to make them click and point instead of strategy

    • @Y-Cubalibre
      @Y-Cubalibre 5 років тому

      @@jamessteven711 European war Napoleon available in Google play and appstore with single and multi player is a real and good strategy game. Not all new games have been click and point in the strategy gender at all. Actually the games have been improved in manu things like graphics

  • @killer115ish
    @killer115ish 5 років тому +43

    Dr. Jonlove and how I learned to stop worrying and love Rome: Total War

    • @publiusthehandsome2314
      @publiusthehandsome2314 5 років тому +5

      I award you the prestigious comment title in the category of "most under appreciated joke"

  • @serbodelija
    @serbodelija 5 років тому +27

    Two Rome episodes in two days?
    Is it Christmas already?
    Keep it up John.I absulutely love it. This game is one of my all time favourites and i've been playing it for the last 15+ years along with GTA Vice City, CS 1.6 , NFSUG 2 and Return to Castle Wolfenstein. I sometimes play a new game, but I always come back to the games I grew up to. There sure are newer games that are superior to these, but I hold them near and dear to my heart.

  • @josey6231
    @josey6231 5 років тому +4

    Jon the loss off slaves isnt because they go to Rome( the senate). Its because youve captured the city with a general so some of the pop goes straight back into the city you captured because its technically governed at that time. If you were to enslave a city without a general then you would not have the loss

  • @cmLMolde
    @cmLMolde 5 років тому +85

    Wait wait wait wait... have I been playing this for years. WIthout knowing i can move retinue from leader to leader....

    • @BauthorFowler
      @BauthorFowler 5 років тому +12

      I just learned tonight that ports could be blockaded by land.

    • @FXIIBeaver
      @FXIIBeaver 5 років тому +1

      Yeah. I am learning new things this year.

    • @kojak5500
      @kojak5500 5 років тому

      Brian Fowler wait what? How

    • @BauthorFowler
      @BauthorFowler 5 років тому +1

      @@kojak5500 Just select a land unit and left click on an enemy port, like you would with a ship.

    • @kojak5500
      @kojak5500 5 років тому

      Brian Fowler I play on iPhone. Don’t judge me lol. But in the video he keeps the population under control by maxing the taxes and moving all the troops out and retaking the city. I’ve tried this before but every time I try to make a city revolt, my governor dies and the only way to make a city riot is to have a governor (I only have a governor for every 2 or 3 cities) in it so I can max the taxes. Without my governor in the city, I can’t adjust the taxes, I can only change what type of economy there is. But in the video it show him able to change the tax rates without a governor. Do You Know Why?

  • @Lintahlo
    @Lintahlo 4 роки тому +8

    Another tip. By offering to attack enemy factions at the start of the game, you can make about 1.5k denarii from your allies. Easy money.

  • @publiusthehandsome2314
    @publiusthehandsome2314 5 років тому +21

    WHAT?! What do you mean Roman towns keep continuously rebelling in an endless cycle?! This cannot stand! We demand that you keep taking them back and enslaving them over and over again! Oh, and have some good quality troops for your trouble.

  • @Yoshigasm
    @Yoshigasm 5 років тому +31

    Jon's excitement in his voice. You can tell he's proud of this one.

  • @anddrestorres2037
    @anddrestorres2037 4 роки тому +8

    I love this game... I remember playing this game on my gaint computer in 2004 (it used to take 5 minutes for 1 battle to load) . Now in 2020 I play this game on my iPad and fast loading.....the future is great

  • @MaskofPoesy
    @MaskofPoesy 5 років тому +156

    More MATN video essays? Love you Jon.

    • @RepublicOfUs
      @RepublicOfUs 5 років тому +14

      This essay seems suspiciously like a regular gameplay video. Hmm....

    • @MaskofPoesy
      @MaskofPoesy 5 років тому +2

      @@RepublicOfUs Details details.

    • @french_bread4961
      @french_bread4961 5 років тому +3

      I'm honestly surprised by how thoroughly I enjoy his video essays. I guess so long as I don't have to write them, they can be quite the past time.

    • @sponge1234ify
      @sponge1234ify 5 років тому +2

      @@french_bread4961 That and Jon's voice and manner of articulation is, at least to me, infinitely more fun and enjoyable to listen to than the narrator in my head when i read an actual essay.
      I actually have his video about _Microsoft Excel_ so that i could literally listen to it in my sleep.

  • @OblivionOtaku
    @OblivionOtaku 5 років тому +83

    "It was just an excuse to play some more Rome Total War!" By all means, we would gladly watch that!

    • @Bloodlyshiva
      @Bloodlyshiva 5 років тому +3

      He hasn't played a Barbarian faction for the Internet.

    • @Gilhelmi
      @Gilhelmi 5 років тому +1

      @@Bloodlyshiva he really should eventually.

  • @jonathanbutler4124
    @jonathanbutler4124 5 років тому +192

    Spiffing Brit? Is that you??

    • @jansenart0
      @jansenart0 5 років тому +3

      Right????

    • @MrSticklife
      @MrSticklife 5 років тому +5

      craz\y how they make near identical content

    • @StevenThomasGaming
      @StevenThomasGaming 5 років тому

      I was like, is he just copying his video. What is going on?

    • @BlueZirnitra
      @BlueZirnitra 5 років тому

      There must be a reason this guy popped up in my feed. Oh wait, I've watched most of TSB's videos

    • @davidquezada50
      @davidquezada50 5 років тому

      Racist

  • @psf03077
    @psf03077 5 років тому +69

    I think you got some Spiffing Brit into my Many A True Nerd... and I love it.

    • @Gilhelmi
      @Gilhelmi 5 років тому

      I only recently found him.
      Jon should invite him to join MATN and grow the company.
      (yes, let the empire grow until all are nerds. Then the prophecy of Many a True Nerd will be complete. Muhahahaha)

  • @TheSenCost
    @TheSenCost 5 років тому +20

    Jon just sounds so happy when he plays Rome, and to be honest I completely relate

  • @DZ-1987
    @DZ-1987 5 років тому +12

    "Operation: Steve Migration"
    Damn it Steve, We're moving house!
    "But i like the dorms"
    NO! WE MOVE TO PATAVIUM! Get your look-a-likes. We're going Roman.

  • @BumroyV2
    @BumroyV2 5 років тому +81

    People who don't play games think games like GTA make people immoral.
    Imagine if they saw what you can do in grand strategy games like Rome: Total War.

    • @novaiscool1
      @novaiscool1 5 років тому +25

      Now I can't stop imagining a crazy old dude on Fox News blaming the sex slave trade on video games, with Jons video playing in the background.

    • @rush4in
      @rush4in 5 років тому +14

      *cough* ck2 *cough*

    • @partizanlegis
      @partizanlegis 5 років тому +11

      If the people running the media actually had a grasp of what you are doing in grand strategy games such as this they would be running all over the place screaming "This is literally Hitler!" and accusing companies such as CA and Paradox of turning people into megalomaniac narcissistic bloody dictators!

    • @JeroenDoes
      @JeroenDoes 5 років тому +6

      HOI IS literally Hitler. These games are not shiny enough to get the attention of people who don't even crasp the basics of gaming. Like the traditional media.

    • @christopherender8164
      @christopherender8164 5 років тому

      Or evs n worse any paradox grand strategy (ck2,stellaris,etc.)

  • @michaelstein7510
    @michaelstein7510 5 років тому +17

    12:25 I've played this game for years and had never noticed the civil unrest penalty for public order in Croton.
    Impressive attention to detail by the developers, because in real history, the Romans had only recently pacified that Greek area of southern Italy. They even assisted Pyrrhus of Epirus in his invasion of Italy just years before the campaign begins.

    • @JoshuaKevinPerry
      @JoshuaKevinPerry 5 років тому +5

      They did a good job with some history in this game. Jerusalem unrest is high, too. Go back through the game files.

  • @zychel1234
    @zychel1234 5 років тому +2

    Another great way to screw over the Julii is to just conquer Gaul yourself. That’s what I did in my Brutii campaign and they have 5 cities on the verge of the civil war and I have 30.

  • @nathanlang1640
    @nathanlang1640 5 років тому +13

    I have been playing Rome since it came out and never did I ever know that you could move retinues. Jesus

    • @ZacklFair
      @ZacklFair 5 років тому +2

      Same for me.

    • @hengineer
      @hengineer 5 років тому

      @@ZacklFair i figured that out by accident, then I got to M2tw and realized they broke that mechanic.

    • @KFCmanagerYaboi
      @KFCmanagerYaboi 4 роки тому +3

      yeah i found that out about 12 years later.

    • @indieWellie
      @indieWellie 4 роки тому

      hengineer
      you can still move relics and objects though

  • @Arasaka_Denier
    @Arasaka_Denier 5 років тому +98

    For anyone who's curious, he played Rome Total War for about 16 hours to make this video.
    According to Claire on Twitter.

    • @Vokabre
      @Vokabre 5 років тому +22

      If only real governors spent as much time on the job

    • @LuciusVorenusCL
      @LuciusVorenusCL 4 роки тому +2

      Worth it

    • @jemert96
      @jemert96 3 роки тому +1

      Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those numbers up

  • @pyroman5657
    @pyroman5657 5 років тому +1

    So for S&G's, I did a quick calculation in Excel on how many turns it would take to get Carthage to a population to 1 million. Assuming growth stays at 2.5%, it would only take 94 turns.

  • @simmons865
    @simmons865 4 роки тому +3

    I feel like this is basically exactly what Rome really did. Rush a late-game army early and take the whole thing over

  • @CarbonKnights
    @CarbonKnights 5 років тому +4

    I had no idea when the armies changed in this one. I can't wait to hop on and grow a city to 5 asap to get those good units, thanks Jon!

  • @gargoyles9999
    @gargoyles9999 5 років тому +2

    Jon TrueNerd, the only man to combine a Degree in Classical History with A UA-cam Letsplay career

    • @Bloodlyshiva
      @Bloodlyshiva 5 років тому

      Which apparently also makes him completely blind.

  • @Gauntlet1212
    @Gauntlet1212 5 років тому +6

    "You can stack as many slaves as you want on top of each other" Many A True Nerd, 2019

  • @hesketh7085
    @hesketh7085 4 роки тому +2

    RTW was the first TW I ever played. Before I watched this video I didn't know 2 things:
    1.) Why population mechanics didn't appear in subsequent titles
    2.) How to exploit RTW without console commands
    Now I know both, thanks!
    PS. Your delivery style is hilarious.

  • @Claudiustheimmortal
    @Claudiustheimmortal 5 років тому +3

    I love games with this level of depth, can play for hundreds of hours, be able to consistantly beat the campaign, but turns out there a entire new level of mastery you can learn and it's so fufilling weaving all together together even if you was able to beat the game before anyway. I had absolutely no idea just how crazy this game can get.

  • @drakengarfinkel3133
    @drakengarfinkel3133 5 років тому +6

    I would say that the Brutii don't have the best religion in the game simply because they don't have a temple that provides law, which makes public order and corruption far more difficult to deal with in the late game, which became very apparent once I did a modded run as the Brutii starting in Numidia and trying to create the Western Roman Empire. I actually would say the Seleucids and Scipii has the best religion in the game, because they each have a forge temple (which when maxed out is in my opinion better than a maxed out Mars temple) and a temple that provides a 10*n level of public order (Asklepios and Saturn respectively.) But I do admit, the Brutii do have a strong religion, which is only made stronger by being readily able to adopt temples from conquered cultures (in your Brutii run you showed us just how powerful seizing control of just one large temple of Artemis can be.)

  • @jamiemgr
    @jamiemgr 5 років тому +8

    Played this game for such a long time and never realised you could transfer retinue

  • @TripleEye_Josh
    @TripleEye_Josh 5 років тому +17

    Rome Total War: it's actually a math game!
    Wait, why is nobody playing Rome Total War anymore?

    • @cts006
      @cts006 5 років тому +3

      Because nobody wants to play cool math games.

    • @RobBCactive
      @RobBCactive 5 років тому +2

      Oh yes, we are!! I have newer TW's but Rome"s most fun!

    • @armchaircivilian3076
      @armchaircivilian3076 5 років тому +2

      i saved and quit out of my current RTW1 campaign for this vid :P

    • @OldTotalWarrior
      @OldTotalWarrior 5 років тому +1

      There are people still playing it and there is still an active mod community.

    • @christopherender8164
      @christopherender8164 5 років тому

      RTW1 is the best TW, change my mind

  • @NotFinnish
    @NotFinnish 5 років тому +18

    Argh! I used to be so bad at this game! I failed to take Apollonia! Young me failed to recognize that the phalanx or pointy stick wall was not a thing to charge my general!

    • @jazzyboy3742
      @jazzyboy3742 5 років тому +1

      Luke Kuang
      Ouch, just thinking about charging your general towards a phalanx head on hurts me. XD

    • @NotFinnish
      @NotFinnish 5 років тому +1

      @@jazzyboy3742 Recently replayed the game. As the Julii I couldn't resist taking over literally all of Greece, oops. Maybe i'm too good now.

    • @jazzyboy3742
      @jazzyboy3742 5 років тому +1

      @@NotFinnish
      Ey, I did that too!

    • @NotFinnish
      @NotFinnish 5 років тому +3

      @@jazzyboy3742 Plays as Julii: Is that Alexandria lightly defended? *smacks lips*

    • @jazzyboy3742
      @jazzyboy3742 5 років тому +1

      Luke Kuang
      Especially when you play as the Seleucids and saw Alexandria with barely any garrisoned troops, who could not commence a full scale elephant invasion on those death worshipping bastards?

  • @eltiket
    @eltiket 2 роки тому +3

    This is unironically a testimony of how awesome the systems in Rome Total War (and medieval 1 and 2) were.

  • @corwintexley2090
    @corwintexley2090 5 років тому +5

    I wouldn`t mind a series where Jon talks about how game mechanics relate to the real life ancient world.

  • @LightOfZeon
    @LightOfZeon 5 років тому +2

    Growing cities faster than plagues? Well that's just the Industrial Age there, Jon.

  • @DestructoMonkey
    @DestructoMonkey 4 роки тому

    @16:00
    Brutii: Gods i LOVE Gauls. My father loved them too, even before we signed that alliance treaty.
    Julii: Et tu, Brutii?

  • @Supadubya
    @Supadubya 5 років тому +6

    Juno isn't the best god(des) in tbe Roman world either.
    Health improves both population growth and Happiness for a time, but as cities grow, Squalor increases until population growth is flat. So Juno just leads to a higher population cap, and reaching it faster (with the possible, never confirmed ancillary benefit of reducing the frequency and severity of un-scripted Plagues). By contrast, Saturn/Jupiter both lead not only to better Public Order, but greatly reduced Corruption through Law, and Saturn provides troop upgrades and unique units at the higher levels...
    Further, Juno only leads to your characters alternatively developing EITHER the Healthy (increases General HP), OR "Hypochondriac" (greatly reduces General HP) line of traits. By contrast, Saturn leads to a set of mostly-positive traits: Harsh Judge, Austere (prevents/slows the development of the "Extravagant" traits), and Sober (prevents/slows the development of the "Drunkard" traits). Saturn's traits are much more useful.
    I say ptevent/slow because of the Rome Total War trait system of anti-traits and "point of no return".
    Basically, all traits exist along a sliding scale (between Great Commander and Inept Commander, or Sober and Drunkard, for instance) with different triggers pushing the needle one way or another (for instance, the presence of aTavern pushes leaders stationed in the city towards becoming Drunkards, whereas a Temple of Saturn pushes them towards becoming Abstemious from alcohol altogether). But once the needle passes a certain point with some trait, it reaches the "Point of No Return" past which traits can no longer swing the other way. So, a Temple of Saturn can sober up a Social Drinker and eventually even push him far towards sobriety, but an actual "Drunken Sot" has already passes the Point of No Return and can never sober up...

  • @wolvez28
    @wolvez28 4 роки тому +2

    I really wish we could have seen a city view of this at the end.

  • @spacefork7296
    @spacefork7296 5 років тому +4

    "I guess we'll just help ourselves to Carthage then"
    Put that on a t-shirt and a mug

  • @01Zennus
    @01Zennus 5 років тому +7

    ... So Carthage became The Beast from Stellaris? I LOVE IT

    • @adrianbundy3249
      @adrianbundy3249 5 років тому

      I find it hilarious how the game started freaking out at the end. Oh, this city has near 100k and is exploding still? Aha: make several characters appear with bad pop traits nearby.
      Me: Laughing, lol - I didn't realize the game would ever do that, and I must have put some 10k hours on it over a very long time. But I never did something like this, even with manually adding population via console.

  • @PoisonInc
    @PoisonInc 5 років тому +5

    I'm not saying a Horrible Histories-esque series should come about and Jon headline it, but...
    Well I am. That would be boss.

  • @kabobawsome
    @kabobawsome 3 роки тому +4

    This is, I assume, why the population system never returned. Too easy to cheese.
    Also, I assume that they disband where they are to save file space. That way you don't have to track the origin of every unit in the game.
    EDIT: Yeah, this is why. I think I figured out a plausible reason why the game is freaking out when you get high enough. It's not related to your actual population size. It's when you are at 25% squalor and still have a high enough growth to keep going, you'll noticed it started happening as soon as you were over max squalor.
    Here's my guess: Someone in playtesting figured out the population growth thing, but it was too late to change the max squalor amount in time for release. So they implemented a quick and dirty solution. If you are at max squalor and still growing, the game takes a certain percentage away after calculating your new population. They failed to consider the sheer numbers you can get off of slavery though, which can offset it (albeit slowly).

  • @thomasvertommen9526
    @thomasvertommen9526 4 роки тому +1

    Put in some console commands to make the governor a brilliant engineer, builder, good ruler, mathematician,... and watch absurd results come in

  • @yarnamite9781
    @yarnamite9781 5 років тому +7

    hello jon, ive been a fan of yours for years (since before the first cake) keep up the good work.

  • @50shekels
    @50shekels 4 роки тому +1

    A 20 stack of equites can literally win against anything besides horse archers

  • @blasty137
    @blasty137 5 років тому +3

    I haven't played RTW in almost 10 years, but as far as I remember you don't have to get cities to revolt to enslave them again, you can just give them as a gift to someone else and enslave them in the same turn because there will be no troops inside.

  • @cryohellinc
    @cryohellinc 4 роки тому +4

    "Plague out on the streets"
    -Honey, this is a perfect time to have a baby

  • @verdantsquire950
    @verdantsquire950 5 років тому +11

    Quick question for everyone watching, how many of you are going to go and watch the original vatinian playthrough after this (Praise Vatinius)

  • @mini_high
    @mini_high 5 років тому +6

    Felt like I was sitting through a lecture on population in Rome total war

  • @nathams42
    @nathams42 4 роки тому +2

    Me: sees *is completely broken* on the title
    Also me: ok, so Jon is The Spiffing Brit.

  • @TheAnon03
    @TheAnon03 5 років тому +12

    I usualy end up getting the Marian reforms before I can build Triarii. Not on purpose just how it works out.

    • @bemusedalligator
      @bemusedalligator 5 років тому

      because the barracks you need to build triarii (level 4) isn't available until just before you trigger the reforms at level 5

    • @TheAnon03
      @TheAnon03 5 років тому +2

      @@bemusedalligator Exactly, makes the Triarii a bit useless sadly.

    • @josey6231
      @josey6231 5 років тому +2

      I always thought triarii looked way more bad ass than Auxilliary

    • @TheAnon03
      @TheAnon03 5 років тому

      @@josey6231 agreed

    • @FrankCastle-tq9bz
      @FrankCastle-tq9bz 5 років тому

      I face that problem quite often as well - there's just no way around it as the reforms come when they come. With this in mind, I base my army on Hastati until the reforms take place and then slowly phase them out by replacing them with Legionary Cohorts.

  • @sillystuff2722
    @sillystuff2722 5 років тому +2

    Lord skrolk was worried the romans would breed faster than clan Pestilens and decided to play a huge april fools prank on the roman megacity

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 5 років тому +1

      Luckily Jon killed Skrolk in Klamath, in the Fallout 2 video

    • @sillystuff2722
      @sillystuff2722 5 років тому

      @@JB-xl2jc i'm behind on lore it seems

  • @Supadubya
    @Supadubya 5 років тому +1

    Mercenaries don't count towards a city's population when you disband them.
    Food imports (by capturing provinces with Wheat, like Syracuse) and farm/sanitation upgrades all help, though- and you weren't very aggressive about these...

  • @dr.sharktooth3587
    @dr.sharktooth3587 5 років тому +6

    I found this video to be utterly charming. I’ve loved all of Jon’s R:TW content, and it is enjoyable to watch him flex his classicist muscle.
    Well done, Jon! Thanks for making this video.

  • @doubledouble4g379
    @doubledouble4g379 5 років тому +5

    Wow, just woke-up and was literally thinking of either playing RTW or watching Jon 0.o

  • @UnluckyGambler
    @UnluckyGambler 5 років тому +5

    u can swap around retinue people?! all these years, ive never known that...

  • @reginaldscot165
    @reginaldscot165 5 років тому +1

    You: wins a epic battle against the computer at unbeatable odds, massively outnumbered and yet you are triumphant, the crowning achievement of your youth to that date!
    Rome Total war: looks like it's time to crash without saving that progress. 😜

  • @maxking235
    @maxking235 5 років тому +3

    I absolutely adore this game. Who else wants an "Ancient Mediterranean" video with Jon?

  • @TheGrinningViking
    @TheGrinningViking 5 років тому +1

    If you want to get a general the farmer trait you can shift them from city to city as you build or upgrade farms. Being in charge of a city finishing a farm construction gives them a chance to get it on the spot that is much higher than their day to day chance.
    I wonder how high this could get in Rome 2? The skill and retinue manipulation is much more rediculous there, and chivalry has a crazy effect on growth. The only downside would be you can't transfer most (not all, but most) of the retinue.

  • @Multi18only
    @Multi18only 3 роки тому

    Brutii: conqueres North Africa.
    Scipii: 'Wait, that's illegal'.

  • @IAmGeeSnap
    @IAmGeeSnap 5 років тому +1

    don't forget to get your frequent slaver card stamped while your passing through... that has me in stitches

  • @tenchimuyo69
    @tenchimuyo69 3 роки тому +1

    Everyone's favorite Total war, Empire, did bring back the population system, and your armies do draw from the population count.
    Since most regions have millions though, it isn't really a problem... except for in North America, where some regions start with only a couple thousand people, and you can depopulate them with army recruitment.

  • @Dan-uf2vh
    @Dan-uf2vh 4 роки тому +1

    after achieving the highest government building, I think it's best to keep the population at a stable level; what would be the point in having more unrest? recruiting high level troops doesn't nearly consume much population compared to 24000

  • @PlanetZoidstar
    @PlanetZoidstar 5 років тому +4

    So when the game started to take pop off of Carthage DESPITE a positive growth rate...
    ...Did..
    ...Did you break RTW1 SO MUCH you actually made the game develop SENTIENCE?

  • @jettjohnson9743
    @jettjohnson9743 5 років тому +3

    Can you upload the save game? I think we all wanna play with this

  • @shneancy220
    @shneancy220 5 років тому +12

    oh yes, I've been waiting for something unconventional today

  • @asanovic7
    @asanovic7 4 роки тому +1

    Mod S.P.Q.R. improves this game. Example - to break Carthage it really takes time and effort even at 4 turns per year. And breaking Carthage is mandatory for Marian reforms to happen.

  • @giu6525
    @giu6525 3 роки тому +1

    "Time to take advantage of *SLAVERY*" I'm sure during the history of humanity someone said the same thing unironically.

  • @plcdfa
    @plcdfa 5 років тому +3

    Wait, what kind of unpatched game are you playing? I'm pretty sure they changed it after release so building the imperial palace only starts a timer, it doesn't trigger the reform immediately.

  • @MauricedelTaco
    @MauricedelTaco 3 роки тому +1

    The highest population I have reached is ~45,000. Then the AI revolts with 1 to 2 stacks of endgame, fully experienced units from that region.

  • @polishenglish8356
    @polishenglish8356 5 років тому +6

    Great way to take advantage of fully knowing the game mechanics! :)

  • @andrwgonsalvesandrew
    @andrwgonsalvesandrew 2 роки тому +1

    You forgot to take the wonder, statue of Zeus which gives +4 population growth to all settlements👍