People being taken care of are NEVER satisfied. They don't understand that no one can take care of them to their 100% specificity so be grateful for what they can do. Caregiving is a HARD thankless job.
I hear you ...And the kids of those seniors...Wow🤦 They just love you until you are burned out completely. And then they ditch you ...It's debilitating . Just know that God 'knows' ♥️💌
Yes but if you were a senior with health issues maybe suffering daily you might not care either. Just saying. I'm losing my mind taking care of my father.
@@chrislim7976 I have lost my mind taking care of my mother. I will keep her out of long term care so help me God..but I am EXHAUSTED & tired of her being ungrateful🤷
I agree with you.. Taking care of my mom is very hard. Your life is taken away.. and you are no longer free to live life. I decided to connect to senior resources. Burnout is real.
@@autumnrose6370 Wishes to everyone These issues plus the pandemic is taking a toll on everyone not to mention caregivers. There are days where I just give up and lie in bed. Find it in you to love the person you are caring for to keep going. 🙏😔
I care for two disabled people while working full time (from home). Asking for help is a joke. People will give “advice” like “make sure you take care of yourself” or they come up with a ridiculously simplistic solution like “put him in a home” or “just divorce him” or “kick her out of the house.” None of these “answers” are realistic or compassionate to me or the people I care for. You know what people never say. “When can I come over for a couple days to give you a break?”
@@sahasrarachakra1Never truer words spoken .Yes the amount of times I've heard "Look After You" ,"take time for you !" you ! " Arrggh ! But no mention of them taking your loved one out !
The many healthcare appts, pharmacy runs & supply shopping trips, lifting, pushing, pulling, diaper & bed changes, laundry. Its hard. I already told my son to put me in LTC if I ever need total care. I don't want to burden him like that.
As someone who's been stuck with caregiving for a decade (mainly in the last 3.5 yrs), I can understand why caregivers snap. They are NOT in the right to beat up the people they're taking care of and their actions should NOT be condoned, but I can understand how things developed the way they did. It takes a toll on you. I'm 28 and I'm hoping early caregiving hasn't destroyed my life beyond repair and ruined my chances at starting a career, getting out of the nest, getting married, and having kids. If I had the money and if we weren't in a pandemic, I'd throw my mom in the nursing home and keep her there until she could walk unassisted again (she's 68 btw). I'm beyond sick of caregiving and I want NOTHING to do with it. When my dad gets to the point where he needs extra help or the next time my mom needs help, they're on their own (i.e. nursing home). Lastly, DO NOT have kids after turning 40. Your child's life will be over before it even starts. My circumstances are why I tell as many people as possible not to wait until it's too late to have kids.
@@finchborat Hey, I can understand only a percent of your problem. Your case is far more difficult than mine. I used to see my mom suffer while taking care of her father. He passed away 4 months ago. All I want to say is please don't neglect your health. Eat, sleep well. Listen to songs or watch something which will make you feel better. I know it's easier said than done, but if you are well only then you will be able to take care of them. Secondly if you are a theist, pray to the Almighty to give you immense patience. I'll pray for you too. Take care. ❤
@@antproductions2704 Don't feel guilty if you've done your best. Its a life of bondage for u both if you're doing it out of obligation AND the person is never satisfied. Once its no longer 100% out of love..free yourself & instead of guilt feel pride that u did it for as long as u could. Caregiving is HARD work.
@@reneejr3650 What's truly exhausting is when you've given it your all ~ But the kids of your client with dementia are not listening to your recommendations for their parents care. It burns you out completely ...And who gets blamed when you're at your ropes end & running out of patience?? Not them..."You'. Then they dump you for someone cheaper. It's a nightmare. They tell you time & time again how much they appreciate you. Some of the kids rarely ever show up to help. When they can see that you're tired they just replace you like you never existed ...Then they badmouth you. It's the most horrible betrayal 'ever'. I'm done in this field. Absolutely done. Never again. At the same time I know I did my best :& my senior clients know it as well. Kids have alot of guilt that should never be your 'job'.
Its unfair. Its eating you alive. Its makes you tired all the time. I know. Because.... Because im one and the only of the caregiver (for my father who suffered stroke).
As a full time caregiver myself, I absolutely relate to the stress of the caregiver. The person you provide care for is never 100% content irrespective of how much you try. It definitely takes a toll on the full time caregivers health especially if the full-time caregiver has to single handedly manage the patient.
A coworker died at work. Aje qaa using the bathroom a major heart attack. Full time caregiver to her dementia mom. Caregiver died..mom is alive and well.
@@autumnrose6370 I have actually heard of cases like that. A friend of mine told me of someone who died as well and she was only 36, I understand my mom doesn't want a caregiver in the house due that she sees it as a total stranger...but on the other hand I have depression,close to obesity, sleeping disorders....it's one of those things that either I get help even if she gets mad or pass away in a few years or more.
Oh believe me, many times caregivers wish the problematic person would just die. If not, sometimes the stress is so great, they have thoughts to resort to violence. I can totally relate to that old man who just hammered his wife. If you have never cared for a severe dementia patient you can't relate ( and before you answer yes you have, try caring for a mean one who is NOT related to you. Oh sure it may be easier or more relatable if it is your mom or dad but try a mean mother in law or some one not related to you, believe me, you cant relate with the same amount of compassion you have with your own family. And thats the truth! you could start off with the patience of an angel and end up thanking and acting like the devil). And the only thing an outsider looking at the situation for the first time would be all ' OH MY GOD HOW COULD HE DO THAT! I WOULD NEVERRRRRR EVRRRR DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT'. And then talk like the purest angel on earth when they have no clue what everyday IMMENSE round the clock stress does to a caregiver.
Or really, people who care for people dealing with almost any ailment (dementia, cancer, you name it). I've had to take care of my mom in some capacity for a decade, mainly the last 3.5 years (I'm 28, she's 68). When the caregiving finally ends, I want NOTHING to do with it. I refuse to be a nurse or have any sort of career in caregiving. It would be like a rape victim going into prostitution. This is really mean spirited, but I don't like helping my mom. And if I'm not big on helping her, I'm not gonna be all in for helping other people.
Ive gotten 2.5hrs sleep. I wake up shaking from the stress. Everything I see is about preventing caregiver stress burnout but thats truly not possible. Get real about that. What needs to change is the system
I'm about 2 months in caregiving and I'm so stressed I loved it coming in and now I cry at work and it's so hard i feel like a servent it's not easy job not even the money can make me happy doing this job it's stressful and hard
Ask for help to who???! Fucking no help provided all doors closed and nursing homes short of staff make it very difficult so you have to be there everyday or your love one will be suffering unattended
Poor guy most likely prefer jail over taking care of his sick wife. Seniors should not take care of seniors.. Why? He may die early due to his compassion. Instead ask for help!
Caregiving is a hard job; the government should fund senior daycare at least as much as they do child daycare including middle income families. A white bread and mayo sandwich? I know people can be stubborn about what they eat, but maybe put a little non-processed, natural food in the diet plan.
I'm the only caregiver for dementia patient. It is absolutely exhausting and draining the life out of me. I have become the second patient and need help myself.
My mom lives with me and I can’t stand it. I wish she would go live in assisted living but I don’t know if she can afford it. I stay livid. I can’t even be comfortable in my own house.
Place her it’s your home if can’t afford find long term Medicaid and place her in a Nursing home it will only gets crazier and more work load and stress soon you will be sleepless losing your hair depressed and fat
The best tip I can give to caregivers who are under a lot of stress, or, who want to maintain their mental health is to, work every other day. Work one day, rest the next, then work the next day and so on and so forth. I understand to some, your schedule may not allow you to do so, What has helped me may not be affective to others. Every client is different. What I have done is display the utmost respect to the agitated client. They are usually frustrated and irritable because a stranger walks into their home then tells them what to do. No. From my experience, ask them or speak to them with the utmost respect. They soooooo appreciate that. Even those who have dementia. They may not speak but they definitely understand what you are saying. Honestly, how YOU navigate through the caring process is entirely up to you. Oh and those who have a bad attitude and appear impossible to work with, that is because you have allowed them to lead you mentally and emotionally, not you lead them. Best of luck, Caregivers!
For some people working every other day is a dream and not a realistic possibility. Many people, myself including, take care of loved ones 24/7 alone. With little or no help. Our loved ones are unable to stay alone and fend for themselves at all, let alone every other day.
They need a volunteer organization to help relieve people, or, maybe have to make laws requiring family to help, instead of dumping it off on one person. If course it depends on the situation. Some are easier than others. But yes, when it gets to be too much.
Taking care of yourself while caring for someone else is difficult, but so important, both for yourself and your loved one. Tips for managing caregiver stress are available here: www.customcaregivers.com/category/caregiver-stress/
I imagine using my early-onset alzheimers family member as a hammer, and I have to build a home... with lots and lots of nails. Seriously though, there is no real way to cope as a solo caregiver.
People being taken care of are NEVER satisfied. They don't understand that no one can take care of them to their 100% specificity so be grateful for what they can do. Caregiving is a HARD thankless job.
I hear you ...And the kids of those seniors...Wow🤦 They just love you until you are burned out completely. And then they ditch you ...It's debilitating . Just know that God 'knows' ♥️💌
Yes but if you were a senior with health issues maybe suffering daily you might not care either. Just saying. I'm losing my mind taking care of my father.
@@chrislim7976 I have lost my mind taking care of my mother. I will keep her out of long term care so help me God..but I am EXHAUSTED & tired of her being ungrateful🤷
I agree with you.. Taking care of my mom is very hard. Your life is taken away.. and you are no longer free to live life. I decided to connect to senior resources. Burnout is real.
@@autumnrose6370
Wishes to everyone These issues plus the pandemic is taking a toll on everyone not to mention caregivers. There are days where I just give up and lie in bed. Find it in you to love the person you are caring for to keep going. 🙏😔
I care for two disabled people while working full time (from home). Asking for help is a joke. People will give “advice” like “make sure you take care of yourself” or they come up with a ridiculously simplistic solution like “put him in a home” or “just divorce him” or “kick her out of the house.” None of these “answers” are realistic or compassionate to me or the people I care for. You know what people never say. “When can I come over for a couple days to give you a break?”
FACTS there’s no such thing as compassion from other people especially family members
So true!
Friends evaporate when you become a caregiver. The advice, the smiles, and the well wishes are a joke when run into them.
Exactly 100%
@@sahasrarachakra1Never truer words spoken .Yes the amount of times I've heard "Look After You" ,"take time for you !" you ! " Arrggh ! But no mention of them taking your loved one out !
The many healthcare appts, pharmacy runs & supply shopping trips, lifting, pushing, pulling, diaper & bed changes, laundry. Its hard. I already told my son to put me in LTC if I ever need total care. I don't want to burden him like that.
You already doing it, you should plan to be in assisting living home it’s not fair to him ….
I can see how this happens, it absolutely ruins the caregiver in the end. It's NO way to live!
As someone who's been stuck with caregiving for a decade (mainly in the last 3.5 yrs), I can understand why caregivers snap. They are NOT in the right to beat up the people they're taking care of and their actions should NOT be condoned, but I can understand how things developed the way they did. It takes a toll on you.
I'm 28 and I'm hoping early caregiving hasn't destroyed my life beyond repair and ruined my chances at starting a career, getting out of the nest, getting married, and having kids. If I had the money and if we weren't in a pandemic, I'd throw my mom in the nursing home and keep her there until she could walk unassisted again (she's 68 btw). I'm beyond sick of caregiving and I want NOTHING to do with it. When my dad gets to the point where he needs extra help or the next time my mom needs help, they're on their own (i.e. nursing home).
Lastly, DO NOT have kids after turning 40. Your child's life will be over before it even starts. My circumstances are why I tell as many people as possible not to wait until it's too late to have kids.
@@finchborat Hey, I can understand only a percent of your problem. Your case is far more difficult than mine. I used to see my mom suffer while taking care of her father. He passed away 4 months ago.
All I want to say is please don't neglect your health. Eat, sleep well. Listen to songs or watch something which will make you feel better. I know it's easier said than done, but if you are well only then you will be able to take care of them. Secondly if you are a theist, pray to the Almighty to give you immense patience. I'll pray for you too. Take care. ❤
@@finchborat I know what you’re going thru. I already feel like I snap, I feel guilty for the fact I don’t wanna caregive. This is so difficult.
@@antproductions2704 Don't feel guilty if you've done your best. Its a life of bondage for u both if you're doing it out of obligation AND the person is never satisfied. Once its no longer 100% out of love..free yourself & instead of guilt feel pride that u did it for as long as u could. Caregiving is HARD work.
@@reneejr3650 What's truly exhausting is when you've given it your all ~ But the kids of your client with dementia are not listening to your recommendations for their parents care. It burns you out completely ...And who gets blamed when you're at your ropes end & running out of patience?? Not them..."You'. Then they dump you for someone cheaper. It's a nightmare. They tell you time & time again how much they appreciate you. Some of the kids rarely ever show up to help. When they can see that you're tired they just replace you like you never existed ...Then they badmouth you. It's the most horrible betrayal 'ever'. I'm done in this field. Absolutely done. Never again. At the same time I know I did my best :& my senior clients know it as well. Kids have alot of guilt that should never be your 'job'.
“Challenging” is an understatement
Indeed.
Its unfair.
Its eating you alive.
Its makes you tired all the time.
I know.
Because....
Because im one and the only of the caregiver (for my father who suffered stroke).
You can't do it alone. Ask for any help at all. It's not sustainable or healthy.
I’m also a caregiver to my mother who has ALS and diabetes.
@@SuperBlossom2011
Diabetes seems to everywhere. I hope you take time for yourself even if it's for a coffee.
@@chrislim7976 I do take my time out from her for an hour or 2 to clear my head.
@@SuperBlossom2011 🙏
As a full time caregiver myself, I absolutely relate to the stress of the caregiver. The person you provide care for is never 100% content irrespective of how much you try. It definitely takes a toll on the full time caregivers health especially if the full-time caregiver has to single handedly manage the patient.
I work full-time job and take care of my mom......and I feel like I'll be dying before she does...,
A coworker died at work. Aje qaa using the bathroom a major heart attack. Full time caregiver to her dementia mom. Caregiver died..mom is alive and well.
@@autumnrose6370 I have actually heard of cases like that. A friend of mine told me of someone who died as well and she was only 36, I understand my mom doesn't want a caregiver in the house due that she sees it as a total stranger...but on the other hand I have depression,close to obesity, sleeping disorders....it's one of those things that either I get help even if she gets mad or pass away in a few years or more.
Oh believe me, many times caregivers wish the problematic person would just die. If not, sometimes the stress is so great, they have thoughts to resort to violence. I can totally relate to that old man who just hammered his wife. If you have never cared for a severe dementia patient you can't relate ( and before you answer yes you have, try caring for a mean one who is NOT related to you. Oh sure it may be easier or more relatable if it is your mom or dad but try a mean mother in law or some one not related to you, believe me, you cant relate with the same amount of compassion you have with your own family. And thats the truth! you could start off with the patience of an angel and end up thanking and acting like the devil). And the only thing an outsider looking at the situation for the first time would be all ' OH MY GOD HOW COULD HE DO THAT! I WOULD NEVERRRRRR EVRRRR DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT'. And then talk like the purest angel on earth when they have no clue what everyday IMMENSE round the clock stress does to a caregiver.
Or really, people who care for people dealing with almost any ailment (dementia, cancer, you name it). I've had to take care of my mom in some capacity for a decade, mainly the last 3.5 years (I'm 28, she's 68). When the caregiving finally ends, I want NOTHING to do with it.
I refuse to be a nurse or have any sort of career in caregiving. It would be like a rape victim going into prostitution. This is really mean spirited, but I don't like helping my mom. And if I'm not big on helping her, I'm not gonna be all in for helping other people.
I feel your pain. All, I ever wanted was a word expressed "Thank you! Or atleast stop the manipulation..
Ive gotten 2.5hrs sleep. I wake up shaking from the stress. Everything I see is about preventing caregiver stress burnout but thats truly not possible. Get real about that. What needs to change is the system
I'm about 2 months in caregiving and I'm so stressed I loved it coming in and now I cry at work and it's so hard i feel like a servent it's not easy job not even the money can make me happy doing this job it's stressful and hard
Definitely understand
Honey same ❤I feel you so much 😢
Welcome to the club! My mental well-being has deteriorated dramatically. It's been ten years of caregiving and i am tired.
Ask for help to who???! Fucking no help provided all doors closed and nursing homes short of staff make it very difficult so you have to be there everyday or your love one will be suffering unattended
Poor guy most likely prefer jail over taking care of his sick wife. Seniors should not take care of seniors..
Why? He may die early due to his compassion. Instead ask for help!
Most people won't help.
Caregiving is tough. The stress caused me to have seizures
What a strange way to begin the video...
Caregiving is a hard job; the government should fund senior daycare at least as much as they do child daycare including middle income families. A white bread and mayo sandwich? I know people can be stubborn about what they eat, but maybe put a little non-processed, natural food in the diet plan.
I'm the only caregiver for dementia patient. It is absolutely exhausting and draining the life out of me. I have become the second patient and need help myself.
My mom lives with me and I can’t stand it. I wish she would go live in assisted living but I don’t know if she can afford it. I stay livid. I can’t even be comfortable in my own house.
Place her it’s your home if can’t afford find long term Medicaid and place her in a Nursing home it will only gets crazier and more work load and stress soon you will be sleepless losing your hair depressed and fat
The best tip I can give to caregivers who are under a lot of stress, or, who want to maintain their mental health is to, work every other day. Work one day, rest the next, then work the next day and so on and so forth. I understand to some, your schedule may not allow you to do so,
What has helped me may not be affective to others. Every client is different. What I have done is display the utmost respect to the agitated client. They are usually frustrated and irritable because a stranger walks into their home then tells them what to do. No. From my experience, ask them or speak to them with the utmost respect. They soooooo appreciate that. Even those who have dementia. They may not speak but they definitely understand what you are saying. Honestly, how YOU navigate through the caring process is entirely up to you. Oh and those who have a bad attitude and appear impossible to work with, that is because you have allowed them to lead you mentally and emotionally, not you lead them.
Best of luck, Caregivers!
For some people working every other day is a dream and not a realistic possibility. Many people, myself including, take care of loved ones 24/7 alone. With little or no help. Our loved ones are unable to stay alone and fend for themselves at all, let alone every other day.
They need a volunteer organization to help relieve people, or, maybe have to make laws requiring family to help, instead of dumping it off on one person. If course it depends on the situation. Some are easier than others. But yes, when it gets to be too much.
Damn I feel ya
Taking care of yourself while caring for someone else is difficult, but so important, both for yourself and your loved one. Tips for managing caregiver stress are available here: www.customcaregivers.com/category/caregiver-stress/
Same XO
No warning signs like in the title.
How do you cope?
I imagine using my early-onset alzheimers family member as a hammer, and I have to build a home... with lots and lots of nails.
Seriously though, there is no real way to cope as a solo caregiver.
Accog helps
Don’t do it if you get to that point