Signs You're Not Crazy, You're Being Gaslighted
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- Опубліковано 10 кві 2024
- Ever felt like you're questioning your own sanity in a relationship or situation? It might not be you - you could be experiencing gaslighting, which is a form of emotional abuse and psychological abuse.
In this video, we'll uncover the signs of gaslighting abuse and shedding light on this manipulative tactic used by narcissists and master manipulators. From subtle twists of truth to outright denial, gaslighting can leave you feeling confused, invalidated, and doubting your own reality. We'll explore the different types of gaslighting and provide insights into recognizing manipulation tactics employed by gaslighters. Whether you're in a toxic relationship, dealing with narcissistic abuse, or simply want to understand the signs of gaslighting, this video is your guide to reclaiming your truth and sanity.
#gaslighting #manipulation #narcissist
Writer: Sara Del Villar
Editor: Michal Mitchell
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Brandon
Animator: Georgia Whitbread
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
SOURCES:
Gordon, S. (2023, May 1). Ways to tell if someone is gaslighting you. Verywell Mind. www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470
Hinson, L. (2022, September 27). Gaslighting quiz: Am I being gaslighted?. Psych Central. psychcentral.com/quizzes/am-i-being-gaslighted-quiz
Lancer, D. (2018, January 13). How to know if you’re a victim of gaslighting. Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201801/how-know-if-youre-victim-gaslighting
Morris, S. Y. (2021, November 24). Gaslighting: Signs and tips for seeking help. Healthline. www.healthline.com/health/gaslighting#examples
Stern, R. (2018, December 19). I’ve counseled hundreds of victims of gaslighting. here’s how to spot if you’re being gaslighted. Vox. www.vox.com/first-person/2018/12/19/18140830/gaslighting-relationships-politics-explained
WebMD Editorial Contributors, & Ratini, M. (2023). What is gaslighting?. WebMD. www.webmd.com/mental-health/gaslighting-signs-look-for
Many of you connected with our video on gaslighting m.ua-cam.com/video/FISZshe9L3s/v-deo.html. In the comments, some viewers shared experiences of being told they're "too sensitive." This video aims to empower you by showing how these comments might be gaslighting, not a reflection of you being overly emotional. Support our work by commenting and sharing this video to help someone out in similar situation.
0:20
I can relate
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, I CAN RELATE BECAUSE MY MOTHER, SHE DO IT ON A DAYLY BASIS, HAVE A BLESSED DAY ,HAVE A BLESSED DAY , PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR ME, MY MOTHER IS THREATENING TO HAVE SOMEBODY TO KILL ME, I HAVE TO GO LAY BACK DOWN SOME I CAN GET UP AND LEAVE, HAVE A BLESSED DAY, I LOVE ME TODAY AND FOREVER 💯🙏🕳️💙🎆🫂
To everyone thinking they're being gaslighted, always keep trusting your own instinct.
Things like anxiety or depression mess with that gut instinct. it’s partly why certain people are so vulnerable these kind of tactics.
@@WeavileLady Yeah I didn't think about that, thanks for clarifying \:))
At least nowadays when I get upset, I know my mum is trying to gaslight me and I wouldn't listen as a result, I was almost about to gaslight the pet bird because he said "I love you" and I was thinking "are you sure?",
I somewhat bragged about being self aware and refusing to gaslight the bird.
@@rednath7734 no problem :)
@@rednath7734
How do we know if we're not being gaslighted by you?
🤔🧐🤷♂️
0:00 intro
1:49 lying
2:44 discrediting
3:36 minimizing
4:15 blaming
5:47 outro
Great job on the breakdown 🔑
thank you!
Thanks for the timestamps
It’s like being on rollercoaster of emotions that never ends in which where what’s real keeps changing because someone’s messing with your mind like a puppeteer.
This happens alot at work. Very disgusting of ppl when they're supposed to be professional.
I declined to renew the contract of my previous job as soon as the leader gaslighted. 🏃♂💨💨
pretty sure I'm just gaslighting myself
So real.
or...am i ?! i don't know!
oh my god this is so accurate
A year ago, i was in a situation where i was being gaslighted and bullied by one of the people i called a friend, this video describes the way they shift your perception of reality and make you doubt yourself
Just realized my mom gaslights me in way more ways than I realized.. hm
Society is gaslighting me...
Setting boundaries don't always help, unfortunately. Some gaslighters seem to take it as 'encouragement' to push at those boundaries, and that is where they will really start to devalue your perception. If anything, in some cases setting boundaries can show them they have an effect, where your 'weaknesses' are, and motivate them to keep going. As much as I despise it, everything they do is strategic, so you need to have a counter strategy for being around them. Hold your cards as close as you can, bluff if you can be convincing enough, and try to make them show their hand. Use their own strategy agains them. Or at the very least understand it, so you can know how not to trigger it, for your own safety.
The trick about writing it down is very helpful in remembering how things actually happened. And the more you read and remember, the easier it will be to trust your own perception. Because that is really the main goal when dealing with a gaslighter. If you are not constantly scrambling to figure out what actually happened, you can see through their games, and see what they are really doing. That means you spend less mental (and physical) energy on confusion, and you can spend more on figuring out how to deal with them; every gaslighter is different.
I would also add - for other people who eventually read this - that if you notice someone gaslighting you and it taking a huge toll on your mental and/or physical health (hence physical health is often linked to mental health) - if this is a person you can do it with, distance yourself from them, cut them off from your life, run away. Because people who manipulate you will never stop, and exactly as the person before me said, they'll just keep pushing at your boundaries, playing with them, making you feel more and more like you're crazy. So if you see someone gaslight you and your loved ones - or anyone, really, you decide to talk to about it - sees it too once you describe to them what's happening - which often is the case - please, escape this "friendship"/relationship as soon as possible. You deserve much much better than being treated like a toy.
@@anevildoer9252 100% - if at all possible, avoid them like the plague. If they think it was their idea, even better. Mine was more meant for when you can't avoid being around them for some reason. :)
Is it possible someone doing that and not know they are gaslighting you? Like it wasn't on porpose but end up doing it anyway? I think my mother does that with me but i just can't really understand what is really happening...i try to defend myself and end up beeing seen like a mean person (in her own words)
I really wanted to understand if someone is capable of doing that without knowing it is doing because she always puts herself as a victim...
@@margaridalucas4179 I think it is possible that some people are more in denial about it than others. Or some may be raised with that behaviour being the natural way to interact with others. And they may be doing it because of trauma from their own past, and genuinely feel like a victim as well, or at least justified in their actions. But on some level, I think people will know. Some feel bad about it, some don't. But that doesn't mean you should just let them keep harming you, even if it is 'not on purpose'.
@@HereIAm247 thank you so so so much for your answer
Can you make a video about tips to make your mental health better or how to get rid of toxic friends without harm? Thank you for this beautiful content.
You just block them, and move away... Even if it means having no friends and starting over.
seconding this because i have these kinda friends and idk what to do :/
@@tiredartistt3875well you kinda get used to it in the beginning.. then you start melting down
Thanks I've been gaslit for a while now ! Least I know I'm not crazy . Gaslighting is insidious !
Gaslighting is closer to brainwashing than it is to lying. Although, lying is a necessary part of it.
The difference is the intention.
There is a huge difference between lying to protect someone's feelings and lying to convince someone that a certain thing happened when it did not, or vice versa. Especially if the goal is to make that someone believe that they are at fault for the phantom event or for convincing that someone the non-existence of one.
Yes your example is proof the person doing it is evil or adjacent to it. Just remember your above them in every conceivable way don't sink to there fallen state.
Thank you for this clear distinction
I am experiencing this and feeling bullied by it and grateful for the support of mind and instinct ❤
Oh geez I’ve needed this.
I knew someone who had such a twisted perception of the real world that they formed a group of people who felt the same way to feel safer, and anyone who told them reasonable truths were allegedly gaslighting them. They were all good people at the heart. I frequently insisted that anything I said was just to try and help, or even ask for help, only to be hurt and bullied for trying to do the right thing. When I got away from that group and spent more time around reasonable people, suddenly I realized I was being gaslit, not them.
*If you believe me, I am the victim. If you don't, I did the gaslighting.* The entire interaction hinges on an unbiased third-party, which almost never exists because of the way group dynamics work and tribalism.
A lot of people who do the gaslighting genuinely think they are the ones being gaslit. This video, I think, dangerously under-explores the depth of what gaslighting is and where it comes from. All of us have done the gaslighting thinking we were doing the right thing, it isn't about being a gaslighter or not. It's about having warped perception, which this video can create if you follow it explicitly.
years of my life, I experience this all the time
It’s good on educating! At least I can say that in person, it’s very difficult to decept me. Ian proud of being vulnerable, open & honest with my feelings. Trust your instinct with persons usually the way you are feeling around them is telling you the truth.
Timestamps
1). Lying 1:49
2). Discrediting 2:43
3). Minimizing 3:35
4). Blaming 4:14
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
"Life is a painful disease, and death is the bitter medicine."
YOOOO OKAY NOW I KNOW IM NOT TRIPPING IM ALWAYS GETTING THESE TYPES OF VIDEOS WHEN I GO THROUGH THESE MYSELF PSYCHGO UR A GIFT FROM A GOD🤧🙏.
been through narcissistic abuse, and my abuser did this to me a lot since he basically used my empathetic tendencies and kindness against me through all the listed gaslighting techniques
That hurts like hell and takes a lot of time and effort to recover from…
Unfortunately it does an can only start after separation from those responsible I'm almost free.
This was an insightful video. I love the way you explained what it is and what it is not. Can you do another video on Narcissism like this? Apparently this is a buzz word and I think previous videos did not cover it in a manner like this.
Another video that I wish I had seen like 10 yeasr ago, which would have saved me a lot of trouble with being lead around by an Ex who was using me. Not to mention one that makes me a lot more comfortable in my current set up. I love my best friend, and while they don't love me in the same way, they're at least honest to me and incredibly supportive.
Believe what you see and not what you hear 💊
Belive what they tell you with there actions ignore there word's.
Unless you have schizophrenia in which case you might see things that you shouldn't believe
@@Finalizor good thing I don't.
@@Finalizor Do you have Schizophrenia?
Trusted relatives?? My evil demon mother turned them all against me 😡😡😭😭
Counteract negativity with positivity. Encourage empathy, understanding, and dialogue to bridge divides and promote unity.
You can choose to not suffer from peoples sins so you can counteract negativity with positivity easier.
Of course I've experienced these. I've so many traumatic experiences of being exposed to such people. The question that I have is, why some people still make me think that I'm the one who exhibits such a behavior?
It's because they are insecure and want to hide their wrongdoings.
I've been gaslight by many people at school and my mother
Crazy, I was crazy once
I'm so proud of myself I got out of a ldr 2years toxic relationship
I'm only 15 and he was 5 Years older then me. Because of him I'm suffering from depression
And now it's been a month since I broke up with him
I feel free . I almost got to a point of self harm but I did it just once then I controled myself He was not only gaslighting me but completely manipulating me he was a narcissist but the whole time I was dumb but I'm happy that I got out of it
Welp good job
Damn, I don't understand why you would date a guy who's 5 years older than you.. That can never be good.
But anyways, I hope you will find someone close to your age the next time. I'm glad you got rid of him, and I'm glad you're still here
@@rednath7734 yeah I don't even know why I would date a guy who's 5 year older then me but he was such a narcissist he literally manipulated me for like a year then he got togather with me then he started to show his true colours
And yeah I'm doing good now(◔‿◔)
This was very fitting when my toxic ex who damaged my image or good name came back via email. he is very kind, the content of his message is very good, but for some reason my instincts say that it makes me really anxious and think about things or responsibilities that are not necessary, he makes me not focus on this world, I feel like everyone in this world is hostile to me, I feel like I am not self-confidence and questioning whether I am good, am I doing the wrong thing? Am I evil? why don't I trust myself. Am I wrong in this world while everyone else is right?
Here’s a case example when I confront someone who has lied to me and all they say is “your talking to yourself “ implying your crazy or incoherent
That’s gaslighting
It's being gaslit by a manager or parent for me. 😢😅
I’ve dealt with gaslighters before. I felt like I had to put myself, my beliefs, and my opinions aside while I was dealing with it and put everyone else’s perceptions as my own, even if it wasn’t the gaslighter. And I also remember saying that I wanted to be a teacher cuz this happened in high school and my gaslighter was a teacher, and I thought that that was the only career option that she would approve of for me. Even though I didn’t really want to teach, I started to believe I did. And I’m also a Christian, and she made me put my religious beliefs aside and made me think they weren’t real beliefs. After I graduated high school, I did an internship at a daycare and I did it for over a year. But then, Covid happened in the middle of it, so I had time to rediscover my own opinions and beliefs and interests. When I returned to my internship, I remember feeling very out of place there, but I kept going with it. But I would always do art whenever I wasn’t there, which made me feel more fulfilled and in my element, and I knew that I wanted to pursue it as a career, but still thought teaching was the only option for me. But a few semesters ago, I met with my advisor and we talked about careers I could have if I wanted to get into the art industry, and it opened many doors for me, so teaching is no longer in my career plan. And also, I’m a part of a Christian fellowship at my college now, and I’m realizing how much of a believer I really am, and I’m glad to know that I have a whole community of people who believe what I do. It does hurt to think about being gaslit, but now that I’ve had some distance from that person and haven’t seen her in years, and hopefully never again, I remind myself that what she said was false and that I’m allowed to have my own perceptions.
And something else that I think we should all know about this is that if you’ve been through emotional manipulation before and are trying to move on from it, there will be days when you think about how awful it was, but other days when you think about how glad you are that you came out of it on the other side and how much life you have ahead of you that doesn’t involve that person from your past. Moving on isn’t a linear process. You’ll feel happy, sad, angry, afraid, and all the emotions after your situation, and it’s ok to have all of them. You went through a traumatic experience, and it can be very difficult to process after you went through it, but I promise, everything will be okay.
Adult Women with Autism are under-diagnosed, how do we prevent & address medical gaslighting?
They work in a team, so it’s an individual against multiple medical professionals. 🙏🏼🌺
They work together in general sow discontent an strife amoung them being narcissist they will easily start eating eachother given the excuse.
This is not your friend. Be firm and say "I don't want u as a ... leave me alone.
Exactly why
This video is gaslighting me into thinking I'm being gaslighted
The best way i can put it is this: you only get one life. Be who you feel you should be and don't apologize for it (because even if it seems like others are wondering why you do the things you do; its as YTer alpha m. Aka Aaron marino describes; be the best friend to yourself that you can be - because there will never be another you [according to mel Robbins]) and obviously, it is important to not be reckless - byt to fundamentally stay true to your core values; and as complex as all of this might seem ... or just a bunch of waffle talk; its really good real world advice; something that a lot of mainstream media is choosing to ignore, or only prefers to cover when its convenient for them...and in all fairness; if i cant even follow my own advice, im probably actually the one gaslighting myself...😅....and shame on me if i fail to realize that; and hopefully me thinking this way in a unselfishly selfish manner isnt the latest form of narcissism...but tbh, narcissism and gaslighting has varying levels of interpretation - very much in the same way instant gratification, pleasures, and other impulses have varying levels of frequency - much like how entitlement and privileges have many different meanings - or ambiguity. Same for ambivalence - or simply put: mixed feelings or emotions.
My ex called me "sensitive boy" frequently. Im glad she cheated on me so i couod gain all this knowledge, NPD is getting worse.
I truly wish her the best and hope that she gets help
I feel like that im going crazy in a sense. I can't have go outside much nor meet people irl. When we get punished unfairly they downplay it or just say it was fair and for the best. They don't really ever take my feelings in to consideration when it comes to making any decisions. I basically am the parent of my 3 siblings during the day though my mom is here shes just on her phone‚ sleeping‚ or smoking all the time‚ litterally. They act like this is normal when its not..
I am sick of this but what am I supposed to do..? They are my parents after all..
(please dont think I'm overreacting or I'm just in my "teenage fase" this has been taking a huge toll on me for awhile now and I'm just looking for guidance...)
more. on day by day i realise people are easily can become manipulated by others and that can be scary.😅
It's a Rollercoaster trying to figure out if my parents deliberately gaslight me or not. I can tell they do when I, a lesbian, try to say "I could never be with a man" because how boys and girls are raised in society yet they'll say "oh you'll find a nice guy". Then when they "forget" a traumatic experience from my childhood, like did you REALLY forget or is that you TRYING to forget about it?
Me: Just wanna check out what this is about..
Me later: *Introduce yourself to flashbacks*
If someone tells me something about me that makes me question my own personality it is considered gaslighting
Because I don't really know what my personality is either
Try thinking alone in a quit place for awhile.
@@longhairdontcare122 I think it is part of my personality (not a part I like so much)
But it doesn't matter because he doesn't know me or my personality to say such things or even express an opinion about me
So I think I'm fine with that 👍
Thanks anyway ♥️
What about silent gaslighting? Can you do a video of that?
I don’t wish gaslighting on anyone
nah im both
im being gaslight by myself that i am the one gaslighting other people and it doesnt even make any sense
Is it possible someone doing that and not know they are gaslighting you? Like it wasn't on porpose but end up doing it anyway? I think my mother does that with me but i just can't really understand what is really happening...i try to defend myself and end up beeing seen like a mean person (in her own words)
I really wanted to understand if someone is capable of doing that without knowing it is doing because she always puts herself as a victim...
I'm so sad in my life idk what to do this moments are so much depressing..i don't have any control on it.. i just want to come out of here i miss my old me ..and they has changed me broke me down and now that i care for them also and i can't do anything about it i Just wanted to share idk what I'm doing....i really want to be separated from them but im unable i need advices to get out of the situation..but i have no one to ask or share ... I'm badly stucked so badly that i can't explain....i don't know how to tell that person that i don't want to be in this relationship anymore
Interesting 😲
Alternatively, I wonder if there are signs that you're not being gaslit, and that you are indeed overreacting to something?
I really wish you could create a video to realize whether my psychiatrist/therapist is lying or hiding something from me. And why am I hesitant to change him/her and if I want to do so. What should I do? And how to find a better one.
That's a completely understandable concern. Finding the right therapist is a crucial part of successful therapy, and it's natural to wonder if your current one is the best fit.
While we can't make specific judgments about your situation, we can offer some tips to help you navigate this: 1) Talk to your therapist - Do you feel comfortable honestly expressing your concerns or asking questions directly? Consider scheduling a session to discuss your doubts and see if there's room for improvement. 2) Evaluating Progress - Are you making progress towards your goals? Therapy should be a collaborative effort. Do you feel like your therapist is actively listening and tailoring treatment to your specific needs? 3) Comfort and Fit:
Do you feel comfortable discussing personal issues with your therapist? Does their communication style resonate with you? If you feel judged or unheard, it might be a sign to seek a different fit. 4) Considering a Change: If you're hesitant to change therapists, here's what might help: The "Why" Behind Hesitation: Is it fear of starting over, concern about losing progress, or simply feeling comfortable with the routine? Identifying the reason can help you decide how to proceed. Finding a New Therapist: Many resources can help you find a qualified therapist who's a good fit.
@@Psych2go Thank you psych2go. I found a therapist from the psychological support in Open University. She's someone who gave a positive impression at the 1st(only) appointment but other than that all the psychiatrists and therapists that I've met in our country seemed to not listening, sometimes making me angrier because of expressing their opinions over what I really felt even without listening. Still my psychiatrist gives me the feeling of incompleteness because whenever I explain my issues, he gets annoyed and forcefully change it by saying something else. I think it's more a characteristic of gold digging because if I won't be able to tell what I want, he can drag that issue through more consultations.
@@Psych2go I'll try to directly question about deviating from my psychiatrist next time.
I lie to say “I know what you are going through I went through that too” because I’m infj so it’s really easy to walk in their shoes, is that a good form of lying?
I feel like i am a gaslighters to my friends and love seriously i dont want to hurt them i feel like they dont want to be with me i akways get angry and overreact on things they keep silent .... its hard to communicate they are soo hurt that they dont express there real emmotions actually i felt them when we were besties becoz i was hurting them and i dont want to suffer him but he was in problem started talking to him sothat he cant suffer alone and then we never able to become besties again we both tried so hard but it was worst everytime i get trigger over small things ....... i never want to hurt him but my actions left me helpless and they are with me becoz he is good guy n
I realized now that my mom gaslighted me 😢😢
❤❤❤
I have a genuine question... I don't know if it sounds dumb.. but I genuinely wanna know.. are gaslighters and narcissistic people aware of their actions? Or can it be unintentional?..
I think the correct term is gaslit ❤
That means my father and my toxic “friend” are gaslighting me
Did narrator Amanda quit? 😢😢😢😢
Honestly, I don't know.
Although can't exactly say Yes/No, I kinda don't like to hear her again. I feel like I'm insecure when hearing her.
Maybe she is taking a break?
I miss her 💔😭😭
I dont see the first one as gaslighting so much...
Gaslighting is always intentional. The term is based on an old movie called "Gaslight". Watch that movie and youll probably get it a little better
Hey, psych2go!! How are you?
very well! How are you? :)
wait have i been casually gaslighting ppl? is there a vid to check myself on this?
I find it funny how a video like this was reuploaded
I think my bestie is gaslighting me she always lies and saying that shes a good bestie but shes not...she always leaves me alone.. and she control me and she sometime called me a crybaby she always i feel like i don't have real friends...
Awesome, Im gaslightning myself
Ah, turns out I am being gaslighted by my best friend.
One way you can deal with people who are gaslighting is to Plainly stating your boundaries without an explanation.
Another way is to respond to gaslighting is to withdraw yourself from the situation.
my mom does everything mentioned in the video... but she is the only person in the whole family that supports me mentally. i cant tell is she doing intentionally or out of pure worry... its so hard to tell.
at this point I think I'm also gaslighting myself into believing that my mom "gaslights" me for my own good...
Psych2go what if I am being depressed over the death of my best friend due to suicide and it’s your fault? Can you make a video about it? please 😔
My parents tell me in insane because i said the truth.
Did it make them look bad? If so an it is true dip out asap.
Fr
👍
I'm not crazy, I already know this... I'm psychotic, in fact I make psychotic people look normal. lol
Wouldn"t it be gaslit though?
I swear I don't do it on purpose! Help me!
why unlisted? edit: i think it was ununlisted
WHYYY WASNT I EARLY ENOUGH
NOT UNLISTED GANG??
I think they were in the middle of the process of something when you reached this video when it was unlisted 2 days ago.
To all the people talking about gaslighting, that wasn't even the topic of this video.
It reminds Eric Cartman and Heidi Turner from South Park
its gaslit, not gaslighted.
Narcissistic Parenting in a Nutshell... This type of parenting is part of what's wrong with American Society.
What if ur gas lighting ur self into thinking there gas lighting u
Oneyplays
I'm the 100th comment 😁
pretty sure im just crazy
❤❤❤❤
Womp Womp
Okay I guess my other half is gaslighting me about 6 months ago his debit card had no one had come in because they want expired it never got activated yes I did I said no you didn't and we argued about it and so finally we called the bank and had them issue a new one I told him if I got given that card I would have been on that like white on rice that's funny do you think I'm going to let that sit there hell to the no but guess what I was cleaning on his table and guess what I found the new debit card that he said he gave to me I said you need to apologize to him you said I'm not apologizing I said why not you're a one at fault I'm not apologizing I know it's not my fault and I refuse to take the blame for it so it just sits out there I refuse to take the blame if it's not my fault if it's my fault I will take full blame for it but if it's not my fault I will not take blame for it if it's somebody yes I will take my side of the phone but I will not take the phone for somebody who says yes they gave it to me when they didn't
family always gaslights you, but that just means they love you :*)
No but they find their comfort through that than for additional personal gain.
great videos but I miss amanda
Gaslighting? What are you talking about? There’s no such thing as gaslighting, you must be crazy.
Crazy?
Just posted a minute ago
Hey Psy change the video visibility to public
Gaslit* get fricked
This video is also gaslighting you
Its called "gaslit", you're always making things up
Gaslighting? Silly, gaslighting isn't even a word!