"When I was your age.." -It's a completely different time now you're like in your 50's and I'm a teenager "Why can't you be like other kids?" -If you want you can have them instead since it seems like you want them more as your child than me
I hate those... They are so freaking annoying like DUDE. We are in the 20's not the 90's!!! Kids are changing!! Why do you expect the world to stay at ONE point
This reminds me of the garbage line spewed by Matilda's narcissistic father and the narcissistic Ms. Trunchbull in that book/film: 'I'm big, you're little....I'm RIGHT, you're WRONG'. Describes narcissistic parents to a T.
EY Arcane ok but I’m talking about teenagers, I’m 15, and I know a lot about politics, so I’m not allowed to have a political opinion because I’m a child?
One of the worst things that they say is “I raised you, put you under a roof, give you food and water, and you ask for more?” It makes children think that they will only ever need the bare minimum and causes them to hide their needs.
Scolding you or calling you disrespectful for “talking back” when you’re stating your opinion to them or defending yourself from their incessant accusations
i just want to know what ‘talking back’ even means ?? like when you had children, did you not expect them to speak ? or have opinions ? or desires ? i’m confused ?
That pisses me off so much. I got that a lot as a kid and I was particularly mature for my age so it was like, why does my young age mean I cant respond or defend myself?? I'm 20 now and I still dint get why people say that to kids
I think what some of them mean is... "Kiss my feet, I am superior to you". Or if they are sincere, well some adults never grow up with the lesson of respect
Ember Neko well yah but some parents believe that they are always right no matter what. I always got in shit if I ever was right and my dad turned out to be wrong.
My mom's fiance told me (and told me something like this) that he can't wait when I'm 18 and can move out. I know that I don't think of him as a father and shouldn't but, it really hurt me, and I should have known better, but he's been in my life for 8 years. I used to think that we were close, or maybe... that he loved me, but he couldn't wait to start a "family" with my mom. Couldn't wait. 👎
What y’all don’t understand is that shows that your parents don’t want to raise you, & that they will be better off without you. That’s why a parent should never say something like that.
When you realize that your parents only were loving cause you were everything they wanted you to be. The second you start growing as an individual and try to make your own decisions all their love fades away. They should've just gotten a dog instead.
For anyone wondering what this guy HANZÉ Productions is saying, "If you really love (for us) to race then breed horses dammit, why give birth to children???"
Whenever I do what they want they always say that "good boy, you should always be like this!" and whenever I be independent and do my own decisions it feels like all their love faded away into nothingness. Then I hear all the time, that its good to be independent. Even my mother says this, yet when I do my own decisions they dont even follow their own advice.
Its like the saying "All kids deserve parents But not all parents deserve kids." Edit from 3 months: thank you for the likes, i seriously just forgot about this comment i wrote, and i come back to 3 thousand people liking it, thank you again.
Not a abusive one that makes it so that the society gets worse when the next generation takes over but hey who knows maybe instead we can atleast put up some laws to make sure that the next next generation doesn't get abused aswell
What they say is "just" one aspect. There's the tone of voice, their eyes, body language, laughing at you when you're upset or scared, ignoring you, punishing you and much much more. My mother allways said "I love you" but her actions showed that she hated me. This confuses a child. And PS. That's part of the gaslighting.
omg same my mom tells me she loves me and says that I'm beautiful and the next moment she tells me that I should change my hair and lose weight. She constantly manipulates and insults me and wonders why I have depression
Elsa Wretblad this is exactly the situation I’m in and I feel like i can’t grow as a person because I am completely aware of what is holding me back (parents) but they can also be very great and have always provided me with what I need.
Haaa, being the punching bag because you can't talk back and "it's okay because we're family", a classic! Seriously, I hate it when some persons in my family make rude or mean comments toward me, but when I make a joke about them, suddenly I'm the one who's crossing the line! >:(
Dude I hate it when my mom makes fun of my weight, I wore this dress and it really showed how fat my arms were and she was laughing at me and even recording a video of me and showed it to my brother and they both would always bring that video up and make fun of me and then title it as a "joke"
My parents used to call the cops on me whenever I “talked back.” Thankfully, I was never arrested, but it really made me afraid of what to say. There are even times I’m hanging out with friends and they talk about their parents, and I’m just sitting there dumbstruck because their parents sound so nice, not toxic at all. Thankfully I moved out, living my own life now. If I ever have any kids, I’ll do my best to be the best parent ever to them.
My parents have probably threatened to call the police on me millions of times but thank god they actually didn't. I don't know what I would have done in that kind of situation.
@@Killua_Zoldyck3407 Exactly how come cops don't get angry when they are called for timepass to threaten a little kid, which can make them miss out bigger actual cases of theft , burglary or alike
@@apersonwhohasnothing my mom did that to me when I was a toddler just trying to defend myself from her dragging me down a hallway like girl which one is worse hitting your child or hitting your parent 😖
I know, right? I tried doing that too, being more responsible. But they end up scolding me for failing or just straight up do it for me, leaving me no chances to actually learn.
" You're so useless" " Why don't you do something useful for once?" " Im right and your wrong." " Respect me." " If I die, how are you going to take care of yourself? You have nobody." " Shut up, Im talking." Yep toxic parents...
"parents make mistakes too." "it's for the best." "i give you food, clothes, a place to live, and this is what i get? some kids don't even have a home to go to." "when i was younger, i never talked to my parents like this." "your friend never talks to their parent like this, why do you?"
That’s true though... parents do make mistakes. Also when they say I give you food, clothes, place to live- although that is a parents job, it is still nice to be grateful for those things.
@@bethanh5347 it's a different story to be grateful than it is to have it thrown in your face as a child. A child has no control on those things, they simply can't just go out and get a job and live on their own. A parent should never make their children feel like a burden.
Autumn yeah I understand what you are saying, it’s not nice for it to be thrown in your face, and a child shouldn’t feel like a burden. But all I was saying is it’s nice to be grateful for things, because a lot of people take things for granted and never really think or appreciate things they have or the amount of effort people do for them. But yes I understand a parent shouldn’t guilt trip or throw it in their faces. But from a parents point of view it’s normally said out of anger because of how kids walk all over them and they feel used. Parents have feelings too. But yeah I understand what u are saying too. :)
anyone else hate the phrase “talking back”? like my parents use it to stop me from saying my opinion. whenever i try to voice my point they automatically categorize it as “talking back” and get offended. even if i’m trying not to raise my voice.
Yes, but sometimes people don’t realise they are actually sounding rude. You may think you wasn’t raising your voice, but it can also mean talking with an attitude. And then a lot of teenagers will reply back with the typical “whaaat..I didn’t do anything.” When they were clearly talking rude in the first place, they just didn’t realise it or they deny it.
Becca Rose that’s true...tone is important but regardless i’m talking about just completely shutting down and refusing to have a conversation about an issue by just chalking it up as “don’t talk back” like you just want to say “listen to me. hear what i have to say. look at this from my point of view.” but instead they make you feel inferior by not even giving you the chance to explain yourself. if someone is making you feel that way it’s only natural to get defensive, upset or passionate.
You may think you have “actual facts” but it’s not always true. People tend to always believe they are right, but forget its just an opinion, not actually a fact.
- Parents are always says we talk back when we are trying to talk about the point. - Dont tell us to act like adults when you treat us like kids - if we are hanging out with different genders doesn't mean we are dating - parents have to think before they said a word to you bc words can hurt
@Saranya Kasichainula same, I walked home from school with my male friend. My mom saw, and asked me (when he left ofc) "do you like him?is he your bf?" Bruh he's just my friend smh
Exactly. Its like we are told to go to bed at 9ish and they continue to watch tv for 9 more hours. Hypocritical much? You need to learn to be more respuctful, they say. Oh, because your older and your my parent? So? Your are technically the same as everyone else. A human.
@@dogeplier2321 first point might be because they want you to sleep early which is better for your health But I agree the second point , I’ll give you the respect due if I think you make sense, don’t act like you will always be the one correct because of your age
@@nlmo1828 Ok for the first point i get that but like shouldnt everyone need to sleep at around the same time for good health? I mean its not like just befause you were working doesnt mean you have to go to bed at 4am. If anything im pretty sure thats why they are tired.
After my brother committed suicide, my dad went “You must be happy now. You wanted your brother to help out with the family, and now he’s dead.” Yes, I wanted my adult brother, who lived freely in my parents’ basement, to take on responsibilities, but who in the world would rejoice over the death of a family member?
Haven't your parents thought that their behavior must've had something to do with his decision? I am so sorry for your loss. And for everything it must've gotten you from your parents. ♥️♥️
So sorry for your loss that’s a pure narcissistic father.... stay far far away from him... I’ve cut all ties with my father... he’s exactly like that! Stay strong! I wish you all the very best in life 🥰
I just hate it when parents say that they know who you are (emotions, attitude, etc.) but in reality, they don't. They only see what WE wanted to show them. If you really do know me, when will you ever realize that I cry every night and that I have some mental issues?? Sometimes I'm even afraid of telling them things that bother me because I have a feeling that they are just going to judge or insult me instead of comforting me or giving me some advice. Edit: I do love my parents and they're amazing. But sometimes they make me feel this way. I know that they're not perfect and all. But they don't realize that the things they say has a huge impact on me. I was telling my mother about my phobia about frogs and the time that I was dissecting one. She told me that I was so dramatic and that I'm really not scared of them. "It's all in your head, don't think of it".
This comment is so hypocritical. How do you expect your parents to really know who you are, if you hide it? They are only seeing what they see. They aren’t wrong for that. It’s your problem that you decide to hide it, nobody else’s.
Honestly they don't know me at all bc I'm afraid to talk to them bc i know they wouldn't understand, they would either laugh at me,say it's "just a phase and I'm sad for no reason" or tell me "you're too young to be depressed"
I honestly love this video. I wish people talked about these things more often and didn't get so offended when pointed out. Toxic parents forget their children are people too and they deserve to be treated as so.
Yes it is a true fact❤I thought for a while and I found a reason why a parent might treat you toxicly😊They gave birth to us ,so we are like a mirror of them so, if they have an insecurity they blame it on us😂Have you ever find your parents say something disrespectful when they are sad or bad mood , that might sth that they about theirself,but say it to you😮
I’m watching this not because my parents are necessarily toxic (although they have said a few of these things to me), but because I want to take into consideration what I shouldn’t say when I have my own children. Edit: Wow, my cheesy comment got over 1K likes. Thanks!
"You're just a guest in our house" was something I heard quite often (along with a pattern of always thinking the worst of me). It birthed in me an insecurity that's still troubling me in my late fifties.
You are,safe here, cos we are tolerating you, we haven't thrown you out, and that is your past birth good karma that u got parents who let u live inside vebtilated warm roof , with food 24/7, potable water, school and tv set, otgerwise what if you were orphan homeless begging on footpath with no good food to eat You should lick our toes , for you are always under our obligations, you are akways n always will be seen as LOWER than us, and should always bow down with shame as you are younger
“You don’t respect me. You better show me some respect.” I’m sorry. But you can’t hit or beat respect into a child, at least you didn’t do that with me. You didn’t teach me to respect you, you taught me to fear you.
If someone beats me, I'll lose even more respect. My mom used to beat me so much that I would flinch every time she got near me but she wondered why cuse she was "Only teaching me how to respect her." To anyone who does this, you're not making them respect you. You're making them fear you. If they do something for you, it's not cuse they wanna be nice. It's cuse they don't wanna get hurt.
Yeah, my mom demands me respect for not agreeing with her in something, meanwhile she screams, cursed me, hit the table and put her finger on my face... Wow great way of earning the respect of her own child... Now she doesn't hit me, cause I'm an adult and she knows I'll defend myself, but she have raised her hand to me in several occasions. It's impossible to have a stable relationship with someone that constantly degrades you.
It doesn’t necessarily mean you have toxic parents. A lot of parents say these things unintentionally and not on purpose to actually upset you. It’s so incredibly common. I’m not saying it’s right, but I’m saying it’s so common where loads of people say these stuff and don’t think it was mean
J C in some ways what you said is actually kinda true. It depends on the person really. For some people, every now and then won’t be harmful. But others, can upset them only if it’s done once. However there is a difference between it being done constantly, and things being said as a one- off as a mistake, and people do say things as a mistake, and that doesn’t mean they have toxic parents. But If things are being said constantly, that is no longer just a mistake.
That "you don't realize it's unhealthy since it's normal for you" is something serious. I remember realizing my mom was the bad guy after watching Tangled. All the gears started turning.
BRUHHHH! Ever since realizing my mom was abusive in 2011, I literally can't watch Tangled the same way again! My friends call my mom 'Mother Gothel without the magic'! LOL! Glad you get it! (But also, sorry you get it! Internet hug!
Yes that is their obligation, but it’s still important to be grateful for it. Sometimes it’s important to realise what you have and realise what people do for you.
@@kyrahampton7417 i respectfully disagree. no one should ever be grateful for _basic human parenting_ and it's extremely unfortunate that there are children who've been deprived of those things as a result of their circumstances. with this said, however, telling your children outright that they need to be grateful for BASIC THINGS indicates that the parent views the child as an outright _burden_ and the parent has a need to be _validated_ . often these remarks are more about the insecurity of the parent projecting onto the child and not about the child at all, nor about world views. yes, everyone deserves to be appreciated, but not at the expense of blaming someone for not being "grateful enough." it only makes the child feel guilty and makes them believe that they are not good enough at expressing how they feel, and/or makes them deny their owns feelings of resentment towards their parents' toxic behavior(s). with all these factors taken into account, i think this type of obliged gratefulness condones more "i need to please my parents" toxic behavior. no child should have to be asking their parents for approval and acceptance. ever. if a parent wants to properly express to their child that they should be grateful for basic things, they should be educating their child on various worldly events like poverty, abuse, and cultures from around the world. naturally, the child would begin to see their own world differently and begin to become grateful of their surroundings.
Nicia Navarro I only agree with the last paragraph. And I think that „Kyra Hampton“ meant exactly that, what you said in the last paragraph. Yes, everyone needs and has a right to basic things like food and shelter. But its always good to appreciate those things and be grateful for it because not everyone gets to experience those ‚basic‘ things. I think its just disrespecting towards people who have nothing, if we are not grateful for what we have.
@@_chapternumberone_8782 Appreciating what you have is different from appreciating who gave it to you. I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about basic things like food and shelter. But I'm not grateful to my parents for that. They chose to have me. That was their job.
When I was with them I was. The way my name was said told me whether I was going to get a mild scolding or the effects of a rainstorm of hurtful feelings.
“because we’re your parents and as long as you live in our house you’re gonna do as we say” “because im your dad and im right. end of discussion” can’t count how many times i’ve heard that
Honestly just respect that and just move out wgen ready and do you. I mean every house different rules in the same way when you get yours you will have boundaries so my advise is Move Out when ready to avoid being told like that!
Or my mom saying that I dont deserve privacy because I'm not an adult yet 🌚 I literally cant even change in peace- then I tell her I'm not comfortable with something shes doing (aka the changing thing" she hits me with the "I've seen it all before " 🤩
"once your 18 I'm kicking you out, I don't care if you get pregnant or do drugs or whatever you are horrible" damn this is bringing back a lot of memories
Awww man, funny part is my mom made a game called the woop in game, where we played hide and seek, once she found us we would get a be beating until we cried. The thing is we had to cry to get out of the game. Man I was Petrified, but dang it reminds me of tht. Good times (*´︶`*)ฅ♡
My mom used to threaten to take me back to the foster home, since I’m adopted. She once faked a call in front of me, pretending to talk to the foster home and telling them to come take me back. I think that kind of messed me up. I grew up feeling like I needed to prove that I was a good kid, otherwise I’d be tossed aside.
And my favorite: "You can't be like that. What's wrong with you? You're never going to be a functioning human being if you act like that." Well, Mom, that's the last time I share with you how crowds scare me, phone calls make me nervous, and I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.
Well, I’m like that because my mom was being too overprotective with me because I’m a girl. I can’t go to my friend’s house without any good reasons to, no going to a boy’s house even for group project and I’m limited to only once a week to socialize with my friends outside of school and they are confused as to why I became so introverted and don’t like to talk with other people. Oh, and because they have a believe that only extroverted people who will succeed in live, they’re forcing me to talk to random strangers now, yay :’)
꧁SkyleeKates꧂ . Idc that your what u r your a person and should b treated like an angel idc at all about sexuality or whatever it is if we can have a conversation then that’s great we can b friends 😁 that’s just how I look at it though also add me on snap btw lol @bhillgoth 😂😂😂
It’s even worse when they’re sarcastic about almost everything they say, it gets so confusing and makes me feel like an idiot. Edit: tysm for all the likes, I honestly thought my dad was the only one who did this.
I never like to ask them questions, especially my dad, because he always replies in a sarcastic tone as if i should already know the answer and im dumb for even asking
Cole DesJ SAME! My dad is always like, why don’t you ever ask for help? But when I do ask he either responds sarcastic tone or an extremely annoyed tone.
@Warpig I'm non english native speaker so I'll try to explain myself as clear as I can. They've arguing, screaming and throwing things to each other for their entire lives. I can't recall a single day with both parents at home without a fight. When growing up, I was se**ally harassed by two uncles (One by marriage, the other was my mother's brother). When I did tell, everyone (My parents and my grandma) turned against me and made it my fault for "provoking them". I was 12 when I told and always have been an hyperlexic autistic who only wanted to be left alone and read. After that, everything spiraled down. More fights, suddenly I was guilty for every shit in the family even when I was not there, everything my youngest aunt (She is my age) did was my fault, they also parentified me a lot using me as their trashcan or messenger every single day they fought, never was allowed to have my own money, never was allowed to have privacy (They even took my door away a couple of times). She used to search all my stuff and throw them in a regular basis when they fought, jailed me without any clothes but what I had on for a week twice, beaten me several times (The first I can recall I was having a meltdown and my father took me by my hair and hit my head against the floor). These are just examples. More recently they tried to take my daughter away from me, they took me to the court, harassed me, harassed my political family, threatened my ex-husband with riding over him with their car, tried to take us out of the road three times when we coincided in the same place (We were living in a small town at the time). She tried to kidnap my daughter in the street waiting for us at our building entrance hiding behind the thrash cans (They are out on the streets on my country and they are massive). Tried to kidnap her from the school at the end of the classes. Harassed us (My ex and myself) when we opened our own business at the point we ended closing it. Tried to hit us at the court door couple of times. All of that, of course, while they tried to make the show of a perfect family with a problematic child and trying to gaslight the shit out of everyone around me (Friends, any family member, judge, lawyers, police, social workers, they tried even with the forensic therapists. Telling tales, using their money inviting them to coffee, lunch, whatever needed). Even with all of that, I win. But for almost 25 years of my life, my only wish in my birthday was to sleep and never wake up again. Do you need more elaborating?
@@LazyArtyz Yeah, I'm doing good now, thanks. I went no contact w/them for 6 years already and keep going, the best thing I ever did. As for some details, well... From turning a blind eye to SA, substance abuse (Drugs, alcohol, just name it), fat shaming, slim shaming, bullying, physical violence, harassment, tried to take me to the courts to take my own daughter away from me, harassing my ex-in laws to the point my ex and I decided to split 'cause my ex-father in law had a heart attack due to a particular harassment from my father, tried to run their car over me three times, came 1000 kms away following me to harass me at my job (I was in the military) to the point that my lieutenant had to coordinate security just to allow me to take my daughter to the school, tried to kidnap her several times (Even my mother popped out from behind a trash can once), bullying and laughing at you if you cry... You can name it. As I said, every toxic trait anyone can have, the have it. Sorry if I misspell anything or if my grammar is not so great, I'm spanish and english is my third language. 🤗
I plan to manipulate them. Overpower them. Overcome them. I will be the most powerful being in the family with my many feral cats. They will see me as human one way or another.
i just hate when parents and teachers say “don’t talk back to be!” “don’t yell at me!” “show me respect!” like dude first of all that’s how a conversation works and plus you can scream you throat out at me but i can’t speak my opinion? You really expect me to respect you when you scream at me for being a little unorganised, like really...
I don’t think you are really telling the real full story here... you are only saying the parts that make you seem good. When teachers or parents say “don’t back talk” it is usually because you are talking with an attitude, being rude, or mumbling complaints under your breath.
@@rebeccaeverett8957 well my teacher always say that whenever they got burn or being wrong and wrote them up a referral or detention. Teacher and any other adult are really sensitive to being mark as mistake. So they often say don't talk back. For example, one of my teacher say "I'm not going to teach you it not my responsibility to motivate you guy" and student say "but you are a teacher" don't talk back to me ,write up detention. Btw if the teacher never done that to you. Then I guess you probably have a good teacher. I always have the terrible teacher. I'm out of school and I never wanna come back to visit as guest. Hell no. You make me wanna say a lot of story...I'm gonna say one more story...if u wanna read it In history class, my teacher told all student to return the assignment. We come up to his desk and he got mad. Told us story of his brother and him separate bedroom by tape borderline. So no one should be approaching his desk. One of my classmate ask him how we turn in assignment (we in trailer) he say turn in to his desk but we shouldn't put it on his desk because we touching his borderline -_- we all fail and reunion in the next school year (I think 2 or 6 student pass)
exactly. studies have shown that the kids who usually shut up and don't speak their opinion are most likely to grow up with a low self-esteem or anxiety
"I'm older you should respect me" this just rubs me the wrong way, I understand you are supposed respect your elders but, it's feels like they don't even respect us at all. Respect comes from both people.
Respect should be earned, not given freely for being a few decades older than you. And the ones who say "Respect your elders" often do so because they have done nothing to justify any type of respect.
The only thing hurts when your father scold you for cracking jokes and being happy all the time because I'm useless and worthless so I should be quite and shameful of my self
whenever I try to explain to my parents that they say harmful things they say 'you don't know anything about abuse or fear!'(funnily enough I have an anxiety disorder), 'you don't know what it's like to be scared of a parent', 'because you haven't been hit or scared for your life because of a parent you dont have the right to tell me I'm abusing you!'
Child: *Calmly explains something or defends themselves in any way* Parent: *Screams and throws a tantrum because of their unbearably argumentative child*
@@evilkermit4795 Dude I hate that so much. If I ask once I'll never get an answer, but ask again (even days later) and she'll say I'm "asking too much" and "won't get it if ( I ) keep nagging like that". Also if I ask a month in advance it's "too early to talk about that, ask me next week" but if I ask the next week it's "too late!" and I "Didn't give enough time for a decision to be made".
I swear I’m not going to be like this to my kids, because that shit hurts ngl and I don’t want to my kids to be in their rooms heartbroken late at night or something in their room and not knowing how to deal with it.
I make sure I don’t talk to my son the way I was talked to, I actually talk to him and explain what’s going on and ask him what he’s thinking/feeling. Little difference why he responds to me much more positive than my parents.
Research some of those first, though, because a few of them are misconstrued into sounding 100% bad for the kid. Like #8, if you leave off the "or else", then it's good to have the kid learn to obey the parents & do chores that are not harmful to them & are age-appropriate. They learn that they have the ability to work & can get a job to rely upon themselves instead of someone else to pay their living expenses. They learn to clean up after themselves, to do chores to be a part of a team, & that it's good to help everyone sometimes. Obviously the name-calling is bad, but re-word a few of these things & they're good reminders to the kid that they'll be independent of you in just a few years, like change "Once you're 18, I'm kicking you out!" to "Well, when you're 18, you can move out & make your own rules for your place." That gives them something to look forward to; they refocus. Also, whether your Mother Mary or Medusa, your teenagers are probably going to end up in their room shutting you out. It depends on the kid & their way of expressing their need for independence. It's not always a reflection of the parenting style. Also, try really hard to live by the rule, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." It gets really hard, especially during those teen years when some teens hate you just for existing & may tell you often. And, expect to fail sometimes, but you'll do better than if you're not consciously trying.
@@lanalee580 Figure out what leads them to act in ways that you see are harmful. Then you take the mystery out of it & you can plan to take a different path. My father was an alcoholic. That's why he said & did a lot of what he did. My solution--I don't drink alcohol at all & I educated my kids on what alcohol does to a person & a family. Of my four adult kids, one has a couple drinks a year, at celebrations with friends. One drank a lot when he was 21, but decided to stop at about 22 (after feeling like crap all the time), another one never drinks, & my fourth one may try beer when he's old enough, but generally seems uninterested in it. They saw, in me, how life can be lived without it.
Grew up with my guardian, “I'm going to send you to boarding school.” she really did because she felt that I'm “indisciplined” at home. I definitely feel like I got emotional trauma from the time I spent living with my aunt and her husband. 😔
"Dont talk back" "Im older i know better" "Stop being disrespectful" "Be more like your brother" "You are out when you are 16 i dont care where you stay" "You are a problem child" "I feel sorry for whoever ends up with you is going to hate it" "Why are you like this ?" "If you dont do as I say this and this wil happen" - These are the words that broke me down most I just dont know what to do to feel better , they also moderate my account so they will probably see this.
well since Parents are older than us then chances are they DO know better my Parents are the ones who went to college graduated and got jobs:(not to mention they're the REAL adults of course while I'm barely into my 20s): why tf would I be the one who knows better than them?😂 no disrespect is intended towards anybody
@@monabohamad2242 i fully agree , but im talking about , my own life , when i know something is wrong and they did it , they would say they know better , but yeah i agree with you , thanks for the comment💙
Well then, they'll probably feel bad when they see this, and they'll change for the better 🤗 it's okay to be imperfect, I'm sure they will learn to love you the way you are ❤️😘
If your parents/parent says: “I am the reason why you have food and a roof over your head!” That is their job as a parent,did they even read a single book on parenting? “This is your fault!” No it is your parents’ fault that THEY made you.You can’t give birth to yourself. “You are terrible at (insert random skill)!” Like parent like child.
"This is your fault" Makes sense. Like, imagine if you spill coffee all over your moms shirt. You cant just say "oH iTs NoT mY FaULt YoU gAvE bIrTh tO mE" You need to learn how to be more responsible. But parents shouldnt say that either way.
ILoveTPosethe2nd/ Minty Deluxe YT *That's the thing with parents who say "tHiS iS yOuR fAuLt"* We couldn't choose whether we could get born or not,it's our parents who choose
in “I’m am the reason you have food and a roof over your head” my mom has never said that bc she says is not their job and she could just throw me into adoption center
i used to always say, “when i grow up,” “when i grow older” “when i have kids” when i was younger, now i say “if i grow up,” “if i reach 20” “if i get married,” “if i have kids” because i’ve been so emotionally abused that i’m ready to give up
Please don't give up because whenever I give up on anything, I realise that just after that was my best opportunity that I wasted, then I wait for the next one
Same happened to me..I still say,"when I move out...." I'll try to minimise my contacts with my parents really... I'll try to get a job while in college and be self sufficient
What happened bud? Just say these things: "I will grow up", "I will get married", "I will have kids", and "I will reach 20." And change that username. You aren't dumb.
hey! ik things might be hard right now, but everything will get better with time. i promise, you're gonna have a better future ahead of you. so don't give up! if you ever feel like you don't have anyone for you, know that there are 100's of people who are going through what ur going through. YOU WILL GROW UP. YOU WILL HAVE KIDS AND YOU WILL REACH 20. stay strong :)
I'm crying rn. This is so relatable. I just wish my dad would listen instead of saying that we are lucky that I don't have divorced partants, that's all I need rn. Just sad I used to have a better relationship with him too. But he just only knows how to bottle things up and say something insetive when trying to help. :'(
They think that talking back is 'disrespectful' when we only want to say our point or tell them the reason, sometimes, we aren't the ones 'childish' because we are the ones who have a point.
Probably because when you “make a point” it comes across as rude. Sometimes when people are trying to make a point, they don’t even realise how rude they sound
@@kyrahampton7417 Just for the not im an expert on parents, and this is the code they follow. IF word COME FROM child DURING argument THEN consider words AS rude AND stupid.
Honestly it depends on the circumstances. I have always had a toxic relationship with my mom so now that I'm a mom I aim to be different. However if my children do things they know better than to do or slack off in school when I've seen proof that you know the work, I will say that sometimes because I know my opinion means that much. I only push my kids to be the best version of themselves. I talk to them and ask them about things that are bothering them. I care. I understand. I am never condescending with them. I am very open with them bc that's what I want in return. Lol my son even told me that I should be a motivational speaker. My relationship with my kids are very important to me and I think that's something that parents don't think about. One day they will grow up and things will make sense and now you have another person who can't intermingle with society bc of childhood trauma. I am determined to be a difference.
I remember being scared of my parents (especially my dad) being disappointed with me. While he said he wasnt, whenever my grades were a mark down or I didnt know how to do something, his tone and behavior to me changed extremely. Now Im extremely scared of anybody being disappointed just because of my parents
It kinda depends on the context.. but why would u not want your parents to be proud?? Surely you would want others to feel happiness because of you and your achievements. It’s a nice feeling to make others proud and feel happy for you, as well as making yourself proud too.
“Why can’t you be more like (name)”, “Why are you always such a disappointment?” (Or sm like that), bringing up prior events that the children aren’t comfortable remembering, being angry and taking it out on the children or like being criticized from the smallest things. Those are the things my parents say that I hate the most.
Parents: *younger sis name* is our last hope. These comments occured often, they started when I first took the 11+ exam (Caribbean) and the school I scored for was not ideal but it was the only school I had knowledge of because of them.... I have 2 sisters, one older, one younger.
wildfyah I get similar comments like these “Why do you even go to school anyway if you can’t even do these? You’re gonna be working in a restaurant just like us. You’re so useless, let’s hope your sister isn’t like you. You want to get into Central? ( good high school ) in your dreams” (I’m only 12 and my sis is not yet 2) they want me to fill in forms in online for bills, to credit card stuff. And when I make the simplest mistakes I get yelled at and criticized. Just know you can prove them wrong!
@@topsbb127 Ikr, I'm me and you're you, we're two different people. Why can't all people understand and respect that? It must be extra hard for twins tho ;-;
My father began giving the "when you're 18 you're out!" comment to me on my 5th birthday. there was some nuance that further developed his power structure and honestly, him receiving hospice care for months before succumbing to sepsis felt like the world physically gave back to him an intense measure of what he did to his children... I still love him - he was my father. I was so relieved when he died.
“Its because of the phone” “You should be like your classmates!” “What are you wearing?” “Eat it or starve, i dont care” “You better get high grades or else!”
Yes one time had had talk back to my mom it something I have never done before but she wouldn't not listen the next thing I know I yelling because I wanted to be heared but she still dismissed me and said that I was being disrespectful all I want was to be heared
Thing is my family stopped saying “Your immature.” And “Your weird.” After I got diagnosed with ADHD. They are a good family don’t get me wrong we like to tease each other but I have noticed that they (that being just adults in the family) changed ALOT when around me. Stopped saying things they used to say in a teasing way. Which now makes me think they think “Your a freak.” Every time I’m around them TwT
My mom has a natural loud voice and continues to get louder and when I try to get louder for her to understand, it's always "Oh your trying to be an adult/Your think you know it all/ your kids would do the same to you" I'm 18. I dont even know if I want to continue to 21. Having kids is out the window and I just want my mom to listen but its "You're talking back."
"When i was your age." - You were in the 50's and im not, im just a human being teenager. "Why can't you be like ___!" -It seems like you want them more than me as your child. "Why can't you be like me?" -Your not me, Im not you, Im just being myself. "___ is not good enough!" -Your just jealous, I got in ___ and your still mad? "Your a mistake." -Same as you because i am related to you.
lol my mom has OCD, and if ONE TINY thing is wrong with my room, she'll go off. She'll get mad and complain. ( which is kinda understanding, since I eat upstairs. ) but if I say, hold up, or can you wait a second? she'll go crazy or if I "talk back". IDK why she does that, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
i wish i could show these kinda vids my parents... they do all these thimgs which make me feel the worst... im just tired of living with my parent... atleast thanks to this channel i found out my parents are toxic af.. i was literally crying as i saw the whole vid and while reading comments... i dont have anyone for me not even me sibling cuz they are same as my parents.. the support atleast from online is wonderful..thanks a lot!
The worse feeling is when they compare you to another person, “why can’t you act like _____” “ look at _____” “I wish _____ was my child” Reading all these replies make me happy that I’m not alone on this, literally if I could I would give each one of y’all a hug rn, just know that I appreciate you and you only :)
ItsAshley_duh hhh even on the opposite side, it hurts. my mother is like dO yOu wAnT tO bE lIkE yOuR sIsTeR? referring to stuff that I won’t say for her privacy and I get angry at that because she’s not putting down just me but her and my sister is the person I’ve bonded with the most, she’s been miles nicer to me than my mother. I’ve experienced both sides and they both hurt a lot
my parents do that all the time and it bothers me so much. It turns into a lecture for hours and if i show any emotions it’s seen as disrespectful. if i don’t, apparently i’m not paying attention
heyy everyone that’s literally my family, sometimes they would spend the whole car drive talking about my cousins and how better they are, they would even say bad things about me in front of me and I would sometimes cry but they wouldn’t know
I never experience that like from my parents like im 18, my mom still feeds me and give me money. So i'll gonna visit her or my mom will live in my house when i have one.
Whenever my siblings and I made a mistake, my father would say, "Why don't you just pray that I'll die? That way no one will tell you what to do and no one will scold you." Does he not know that it makes us (especially me) feel terrible? Hell, I sometimes think that I should just die instead of him, so he'll feel less burdened.
Don’t forget… -“You have no idea what I went through. You better be grateful for what I do for you.” -“You’re too young to know anything. You should just listen to me.” -“Stop crying. You’re just sensitive. Get up and do what I say.”
I would also add: "Stop talking with drug dealers and men trafficers.", "I see you, been on your phone all day. Is anyone threatening you? Remember my word; You are going to jail oneday!" Me (☞ ಠ_ಠ)☞ ⊙.☉, playing tetris on my phone.
My mom says it too me too:( but dont worry babe, your not alone. Others are experiencing it too and know exactly how you feel ❤ your opinion DOES matter, and someone like that is undeserving to hear it. Keep your head high queen, your doing great 👑💖
If your parents are súper abusive I would recommend you to move out ASAP because then you will grow up and you will end up being really messed up mentally (I am not saying this will be your fault but your parent's fault, it's not good for yourself and will affect you mentally in the future years) I am just saying this because you said you were young so maybe you can escape from that and have a better future (this is all imo)
Not my parents, but my 18 year old brother is exactly like this. I didn't even think that's toxic, I thought it was normal so I just accepted it. He has changed a bit but it still hurts to know I was treated like that by my own brother, and if you're going trough that from your loved ones too, know that you're loved by everyone here, including me :)
“God, you’re just like your mother” to put it lightly, my mother isn’t in the picture for good reasons. My dad made that comment when I was 9, and it still sticks.
My grandmother hates my last name (Mendoza), cause it's my father's and she hated him. And everytime she has the chance, she makes fun of it and says that her's is superior, and implies that I have no reason to feel pride about my heritage.
I hate when parents say, "Put down your phone, you're getting addicted to the internet." But actually *THEY'RE* the ones who are addicted to mobile devices.
I’ve always disliked the term “respect your elders” because younger ppl such as children deserve just as much respect. (While we should be respecting elderly people, just because someone is older than us, doesn’t mean we should be treated with less respect....)
I once said to my parents since you don't respect me and treat me like trash, I can so well yelling and screaming at you. You don't deserve my respect! I'm not a working assistant or something, I' m your child....unless....I'm not!?(´⊙ω⊙`)！
*4 common things parents say & why they're invalid* i hope parents read this. 1. "don't talk back" it's called communication. you've had your turn, now it's time to hear out the other. if something is wrong with what they said, explain why, don't just shut them up with that excuse. 2. "show me some respect" your child is not obligated to respect you for literally no reason. your actions and words make you a respectable person, and being a parent doesn't mean you don't need to earn it. 3. "i've been through more stuff than you/you're too young to know" this straight up invalidates your child's feelings and makes them feel like they don't matter. actually listen to their problems. this is why they likely won't open up afterwards. remember that they're a human being too. 4. "why can't you be more like [___]?" comparing your child to someone 'better' utterly destroys their self esteem. praise them for how they're doing currently, and help them out with things they can't solve by themselves instead of ruthlessly judging them, because they're trying their best.
"why are you always on your phone?!" "I'm talking to my online friends..-" "wtf is that supposed to mean? get real friends" *in a slight annoyed tone* "mom,these ARE real friends." *yelling* "DONT RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME!"
Do you guys want to see a video on toxic siblings next? Let us know below.
Sure!!!! 😊
yes please
Psych2Go Yes please
Yes because I want to show my brother that I'm not toxic
Yessssss pleaseeee
Don’t forget the “when I was your age...” and “why can’t you be like other kids?”
"When I was your age.."
-It's a completely different time now you're like in your 50's and I'm a teenager
"Why can't you be like other kids?"
-If you want you can have them instead since it seems like you want them more as your child than me
I hate those... They are so freaking annoying like DUDE. We are in the 20's not the 90's!!! Kids are changing!! Why do you expect the world to stay at ONE point
I've once said, "why can't you be like my friend's mom?"
She replied..
"Then, go make their mom as yours"
@@ainakarmila6205 what the hell, that's relatable oh god.
My mother likes comparing me to my ex best friend
"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice."
Well that explains a lot
Oh man
No wonder
soooo true. i still have the inner voice of my dad telling me whenever something i like is too girly
My god
“Your opinion isn’t valid because you’re a child.”
Also forcing children to talk to toxic family members, accusing children of things they DIDNT do”
Ive been there its made it harder for me to share my opinion
And your opinion isn't valid because I should be making my own desicions to grow as a human being, mother
This reminds me of the garbage line spewed by Matilda's narcissistic father and the narcissistic Ms. Trunchbull in that book/film:
'I'm big, you're little....I'm RIGHT, you're WRONG'. Describes narcissistic parents to a T.
Ok, but children’s opinions for the most part aren’t valid. A 9yo doesn’t have enough perspective to form their own opinions.
EY Arcane ok but I’m talking about teenagers, I’m 15, and I know a lot about politics, so I’m not allowed to have a political opinion because I’m a child?
One of the worst things that they say is “I raised you, put you under a roof, give you food and water, and you ask for more?” It makes children think that they will only ever need the bare minimum and causes them to hide their needs.
“I gave birth to you”
Did I ask to be born?
@@extremity5462 That's an awesome roast over there bro.
"spoiled child"
How ironic we share the same last name, and your comment is nearly verbatim to my utterances.
@@extremity5462 there’s nothing wrong with being born, you are a miracle and don’t let anyone…ANYONE tell you otherwise.
Scolding you or calling you disrespectful for “talking back” when you’re stating your opinion to them or defending yourself from their incessant accusations
Ducky Momo yep I always get grounded for that :(
i just want to know what ‘talking back’ even means ?? like when you had children, did you not expect them to speak ? or have opinions ? or desires ? i’m confused ?
That pisses me off so much. I got that a lot as a kid and I was particularly mature for my age so it was like, why does my young age mean I cant respond or defend myself?? I'm 20 now and I still dint get why people say that to kids
I get slapped for expressing myself
My mom "talks back" to me as well, and when I ask why I can't do that, she says it's because she's "my mom."
I like how adults tell us to be respectful when they are never respectful to us
Marla Stanfield in my opinion respect should be earned, not given.
I think what some of them mean is... "Kiss my feet, I am superior to you".
Or if they are sincere, well some adults never grow up with the lesson of respect
Marla Stanfield your adults should always be respectful to you.
Ember Neko yeah I agree, but even if u haven’t earned it, they still should be nice
Ember Neko well yah but some parents believe that they are always right no matter what. I always got in shit if I ever was right and my dad turned out to be wrong.
"Once you're 18 I'm kicking you out!"
I heard that one from my parents, so I moved out at 16 in spite.
Smooth
Cha cha real smooth-
My mom's fiance told me (and told me something like this) that he can't wait when I'm 18 and can move out. I know that I don't think of him as a father and shouldn't but, it really hurt me, and I should have known better, but he's been in my life for 8 years. I used to think that we were close, or maybe... that he loved me, but he couldn't wait to start a "family" with my mom. Couldn't wait. 👎
Omg I have heard it like it was a catch phrase
Got any money tips to help me out? I'm 14
You made me realise how good my time in the boarding school was daily living life with friends and without toxic parents is just heavenly
And they threaten to ship us off like that’s a bad thing 😂💀 Half the time I wish I could join a boarding school too
What y’all don’t understand is that shows that your parents don’t want to raise you, & that they will be better off without you. That’s why a parent should never say something like that.
@@THECREW781some humans are just heartless.
@@ImakeawesomeeditsforrealParents are the devil themselves
To be honest ."parents are expecting us to act like adults while they are treating us like children".
Lk Gaming 64 then when I child says something they are like you are a child you don’t know anything
My mum once said to me I should understand her, not the other way round. She acted as if I have more wisdom than her. I was 12.
they expect us to treat them like adults when THEY act like children
Maeli Sayrath why is this so true
I'm still treated like a child at 14.
When you realize that your parents only were loving cause you were everything they wanted you to be. The second you start growing as an individual and try to make your own decisions all their love fades away. They should've just gotten a dog instead.
True..
For anyone wondering what this guy HANZÉ Productions is saying,
"If you really love (for us) to race then breed horses dammit, why give birth to children???"
Yes.
@HANZÉ Productions can i know which movie is this
Whenever I do what they want they always say that "good boy, you should always be like this!" and whenever I be independent and do my own decisions it feels like all their love faded away into nothingness.
Then I hear all the time, that its good to be independent. Even my mother says this, yet when I do my own decisions they dont even follow their own advice.
Its like the saying
"All kids deserve parents
But not all parents deserve kids."
Edit from 3 months: thank you for the likes, i seriously just forgot about this comment i wrote, and i come back to 3 thousand people liking it, thank you again.
"All kids deserve a happy childhood." That should be the motto of our species
Not a abusive one that makes it so that the society gets worse when the next generation takes over but hey who knows maybe instead we can atleast put up some laws to make sure that the next next generation doesn't get abused aswell
all the replies above me are correct
Like “all pets deserves somebody, but not all people deserve pets”
1000th like pog
And they ask me all the time that "why are you depressed? You have everything to be happy." And this video is my life lol
My mom: Why are you always so problematic and argumentative!?
Me: What makes you think I like being that way?
What they say is "just" one aspect. There's the tone of voice, their eyes, body language, laughing at you when you're upset or scared, ignoring you, punishing you and much much more.
My mother allways said "I love you" but her actions showed that she hated me. This confuses a child.
And PS. That's part of the gaslighting.
@Elsa Wretblad I agree tbh
@Elsa Wretblad wow i have never relate to anything more in my life.
omg same my mom tells me she loves me and says that I'm beautiful and the next moment she tells me that I should change my hair and lose weight. She constantly manipulates and insults me and wonders why I have depression
Elsa Wretblad this is exactly the situation I’m in and I feel like i can’t grow as a person because I am completely aware of what is holding me back (parents) but they can also be very great and have always provided me with what I need.
Agreed
Kid: brings up actual good point in a calm tone
Parent: "I'm not arguing with children"
This is an A B conversation C your way out of it.
@lafayette le baguette Absolute madlad
"Have we finally agreed on something?"
My parents just call me dumb
Vanessa Loperbz same
my personal favorite is when they start to insult me because they’re bored “as a joke”
Haaa, being the punching bag because you can't talk back and "it's okay because we're family", a classic!
Seriously, I hate it when some persons in my family make rude or mean comments toward me, but when I make a joke about them, suddenly I'm the one who's crossing the line! >:(
Exactly my dad always calls me fat it makes me think horribly about myself
Dude I hate it when my mom makes fun of my weight, I wore this dress and it really showed how fat my arms were and she was laughing at me and even recording a video of me and showed it to my brother and they both would always bring that video up and make fun of me and then title it as a "joke"
@@akitoentt exactly my family is a huge part of my anxiety and whenever I try to talk to them about it they say
Your too youn
That’s my favorite too.
My parents used to call the cops on me whenever I “talked back.” Thankfully, I was never arrested, but it really made me afraid of what to say. There are even times I’m hanging out with friends and they talk about their parents, and I’m just sitting there dumbstruck because their parents sound so nice, not toxic at all.
Thankfully I moved out, living my own life now. If I ever have any kids, I’ll do my best to be the best parent ever to them.
If your mom called the cops on you so many times about talking back? If it's not a serious case the person who called the cops could get arrested...🤷
If I ever have kids, and they’re angry, I’m gonna let them yell at me. So they don’t have to hold any anger inside of them like I did.
My parents have probably threatened to call the police on me millions of times but thank god they actually didn't. I don't know what I would have done in that kind of situation.
@@Killua_Zoldyck3407 Exactly how come cops don't get angry when they are called for timepass to threaten a little kid, which can make them miss out bigger actual cases of theft , burglary or alike
@@apersonwhohasnothing my mom did that to me when I was a toddler just trying to defend myself from her dragging me down a hallway like girl which one is worse hitting your child or hitting your parent 😖
Especially when they say “grow up!” But then you try to do something more mature, and they go, “aren’t you too young for that?”
They should adopt an anime character
Looks 30, is 12
spaghetti lmao
True
Ikr
I know, right? I tried doing that too, being more responsible. But they end up scolding me for failing or just straight up do it for me, leaving me no chances to actually learn.
" You're so useless"
" Why don't you do something useful for once?"
" Im right and your wrong."
" Respect me."
" If I die, how are you going to take care of yourself? You have nobody."
" Shut up, Im talking."
Yep toxic parents...
My mom is exatly like that...
I feel so sorry for you guys! I hope everything gets better. Just keep trying, okay?
Dina jjk damn I’m sorry
my mom
Wow, got flashbacks!
"parents make mistakes too."
"it's for the best."
"i give you food, clothes, a place to live, and this is what i get? some kids don't even have a home to go to."
"when i was younger, i never talked to my parents like this."
"your friend never talks to their parent like this, why do you?"
That’s true though... parents do make mistakes. Also when they say I give you food, clothes, place to live- although that is a parents job, it is still nice to be grateful for those things.
@@bethanh5347 it's a different story to be grateful than it is to have it thrown in your face as a child. A child has no control on those things, they simply can't just go out and get a job and live on their own. A parent should never make their children feel like a burden.
Autumn yeah I understand what you are saying, it’s not nice for it to be thrown in your face, and a child shouldn’t feel like a burden. But all I was saying is it’s nice to be grateful for things, because a lot of people take things for granted and never really think or appreciate things they have or the amount of effort people do for them. But yes I understand a parent shouldn’t guilt trip or throw it in their faces. But from a parents point of view it’s normally said out of anger because of how kids walk all over them and they feel used. Parents have feelings too. But yeah I understand what u are saying too. :)
@@bethanh5347 yeah they do but when their abusive and always say those hurtful things to you it's not a mistake then it's intentional
Flauschekissen yes true
live with parents give 2 consequences:
- You are still too young
- You already grown up
anyone else hate the phrase “talking back”? like my parents use it to stop me from saying my opinion. whenever i try to voice my point they automatically categorize it as “talking back” and get offended. even if i’m trying not to raise my voice.
Yep
Yeah, so relatable..
My sister used to do that 🙄
Yes, but sometimes people don’t realise they are actually sounding rude. You may think you wasn’t raising your voice, but it can also mean talking with an attitude. And then a lot of teenagers will reply back with the typical “whaaat..I didn’t do anything.” When they were clearly talking rude in the first place, they just didn’t realise it or they deny it.
Becca Rose that’s true...tone is important but regardless i’m talking about just completely shutting down and refusing to have a conversation about an issue by just chalking it up as “don’t talk back” like you just want to say “listen to me. hear what i have to say. look at this from my point of view.” but instead they make you feel inferior by not even giving you the chance to explain yourself. if someone is making you feel that way it’s only natural to get defensive, upset or passionate.
*me:*
Brings up actual facts.
*parents:*
Sorry, we doesn't speak disrespect.
this be hittin' different
This is very inaccurate
They would never say sorry
LITTERALY
m i n o ë , I know right! My parents are like that all of the time
You may think you have “actual facts” but it’s not always true. People tend to always believe they are right, but forget its just an opinion, not actually a fact.
- Parents are always says we talk back when we are trying to talk about the point.
- Dont tell us to act like adults when you treat us like kids
- if we are hanging out with different genders doesn't mean we are dating
- parents have to think before they said a word to you bc words can hurt
@Saranya Kasichainula same, I walked home from school with my male friend. My mom saw, and asked me (when he left ofc) "do you like him?is he your bf?"
Bruh he's just my friend smh
Exactly. Its like we are told to go to bed at 9ish and they continue to watch tv for 9 more hours. Hypocritical much?
You need to learn to be more respuctful, they say. Oh, because your older and your my parent? So? Your are technically the same as everyone else. A human.
Hey we have pfp!!
@@dogeplier2321 first point might be because they want you to sleep early which is better for your health
But I agree the second point , I’ll give you the respect due if I think you make sense, don’t act like you will always be the one correct because of your age
@@nlmo1828 Ok for the first point i get that but like shouldnt everyone need to sleep at around the same time for good health? I mean its not like just befause you were working doesnt mean you have to go to bed at 4am. If anything im pretty sure thats why they are tired.
Its so sad to know that the strangers on social media understands you better than your parents 😢
True 😖
"don't talk back to me!!"
"don't smart talk me!!"
"I only didn't listen to you because you were disrespectful"
I hate when my parents say this.
How did they know it was disrespectful if they weren’t listening, anyways?
@@annaobrien7323 they hear it, then don’t do anything about it
comebacks:
1. that's how a conversation works
2. then why do you take me to school
3. no its because i'm right and you know it
They say it to me..
@@dizzyolivesxox7751 many parents say it i should have added that
After my brother committed suicide, my dad went “You must be happy now. You wanted your brother to help out with the family, and now he’s dead.” Yes, I wanted my adult brother, who lived freely in my parents’ basement, to take on responsibilities, but who in the world would rejoice over the death of a family member?
What kind of father is that ?
WTF?
YOUR DAD SUCKS
Haven't your parents thought that their behavior must've had something to do with his decision? I am so sorry for your loss. And for everything it must've gotten you from your parents. ♥️♥️
So sorry for your loss that’s a pure narcissistic father.... stay far far away from him... I’ve cut all ties with my father... he’s exactly like that! Stay strong! I wish you all the very best in life 🥰
My english is not great so i just need to say try to stay okay idk if you understand but..💗💗;))
I just hate it when parents say that they know who you are (emotions, attitude, etc.) but in reality, they don't. They only see what WE wanted to show them. If you really do know me, when will you ever realize that I cry every night and that I have some mental issues??
Sometimes I'm even afraid of telling them things that bother me because I have a feeling that they are just going to judge or insult me instead of comforting me or giving me some advice.
Edit: I do love my parents and they're amazing. But sometimes they make me feel this way. I know that they're not perfect and all. But they don't realize that the things they say has a huge impact on me. I was telling my mother about my phobia about frogs and the time that I was dissecting one. She told me that I was so dramatic and that I'm really not scared of them. "It's all in your head, don't think of it".
Leanne Lim have you ever tried talking to them about seeking help? I was always afraid but once I finally opened up I got the help I needed.
This comment is so hypocritical. How do you expect your parents to really know who you are, if you hide it? They are only seeing what they see. They aren’t wrong for that. It’s your problem that you decide to hide it, nobody else’s.
And we haven't even had normal conversation without screaming in the last 7 years, and they claim to know you, like what ???!
Honestly they don't know me at all bc I'm afraid to talk to them bc i know they wouldn't understand, they would either laugh at me,say it's "just a phase and I'm sad for no reason" or tell me "you're too young to be depressed"
I know what that feels like. 😑
I honestly love this video. I wish people talked about these things more often and didn't get so offended when pointed out. Toxic parents forget their children are people too and they deserve to be treated as so.
W
Yes it is a true fact❤I thought for a while and I found a reason why a parent might treat you toxicly😊They gave birth to us ,so we are like a mirror of them so, if they have an insecurity they blame it on us😂Have you ever find your parents say something disrespectful when they are sad or bad mood , that might sth that they about theirself,but say it to you😮
I’m watching this not because my parents are necessarily toxic (although they have said a few of these things to me), but because I want to take into consideration what I shouldn’t say when I have my own children.
Edit: Wow, my cheesy comment got over 1K likes. Thanks!
Well this video is mostly common sense.
Yeah, me too
@iiCloudy_Apples If it needs awareness, it’s not common enough. 🤷🏼♀️
@@jillianm5781 It may not be common for people to do but if you are smart you'd know these things already.
the world is ending,,, I don't think so
Respect shouldn't be automatically given to adults, it should be earned.
Actually you should have respect fur your parents automatically but if they are bad parents you should lose respect for them
Uhhh,no. You should respect your parents...
demented moose you don’t get it
Tell that to my mom's side of the family.
YES!
My parents are constantly saying
“We’re adults, you’re a child, we’re not equal, I’m above you”
Everyone Is Equal No Matter How Old You Are ✊
This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, 'age is just a number'
Same bro, same.
Whenever I got in trouble as a young child(I never knew what I was doing even) my dad would always yell that at me and lecture me
@@eternal-ex8ej same
"You're just a guest in our house" was something I heard quite often (along with a pattern of always thinking the worst of me). It birthed in me an insecurity that's still troubling me in my late fifties.
So trueeeeeeeeee, and it is even said to biological kids,lol
You are,safe here, cos we are tolerating you, we haven't thrown you out, and that is your past birth good karma that u got parents who let u live inside vebtilated warm roof , with food 24/7, potable water, school and tv set, otgerwise what if you were orphan homeless begging on footpath with no good food to eat
You should lick our toes , for you are always under our obligations, you are akways n always will be seen as LOWER than us, and should always bow down with shame as you are younger
“You don’t respect me. You better show me some respect.”
I’m sorry.
But you can’t hit or beat respect into a child, at least you didn’t do that with me.
You didn’t teach me to respect you, you taught me to fear you.
If someone beats me, I'll lose even more respect. My mom used to beat me so much that I would flinch every time she got near me but she wondered why cuse she was "Only teaching me how to respect her."
To anyone who does this, you're not making them respect you. You're making them fear you. If they do something for you, it's not cuse they wanna be nice. It's cuse they don't wanna get hurt.
exactly
Exactly
Exactly, im scared of my dad because of that because i dont know when I'm going to do something wrong.
Yeah, my mom demands me respect for not agreeing with her in something, meanwhile she screams, cursed me, hit the table and put her finger on my face... Wow great way of earning the respect of her own child...
Now she doesn't hit me, cause I'm an adult and she knows I'll defend myself, but she have raised her hand to me in several occasions. It's impossible to have a stable relationship with someone that constantly degrades you.
When you've been suffering it for such a long time that it somehow doesn't hurt anymore...
Like when you jump in a cold creek and it goes numb after a while
Haha exactly.. My mother is super duper toxiccc
Yes happened to me
Ya true
I promise the time will go by fast and you will be out in no time!
the real question is "how should children handle toxic parents"
It doesn’t necessarily mean you have toxic parents. A lot of parents say these things unintentionally and not on purpose to actually upset you. It’s so incredibly common. I’m not saying it’s right, but I’m saying it’s so common where loads of people say these stuff and don’t think it was mean
Becca Rose The way you describe it is like radiation. Every now and then won’t be too harmful, but too much can screw you over.
J C in some ways what you said is actually kinda true. It depends on the person really. For some people, every now and then won’t be harmful. But others, can upset them only if it’s done once. However there is a difference between it being done constantly, and things being said as a one- off as a mistake, and people do say things as a mistake, and that doesn’t mean they have toxic parents. But If things are being said constantly, that is no longer just a mistake.
That’s the real question facts 💯💯💯
@gameplayz seems legit.
That "you don't realize it's unhealthy since it's normal for you" is something serious. I remember realizing my mom was the bad guy after watching Tangled. All the gears started turning.
BRUHHHH! Ever since realizing my mom was abusive in 2011, I literally can't watch Tangled the same way again! My friends call my mom 'Mother Gothel without the magic'! LOL! Glad you get it! (But also, sorry you get it! Internet hug!
Some parents didn't know the way they raise their kid affects their future
Yeah :(
Yeah.... :(((((
@MelBear I feel you me to
@melodus even if you're trying to explain something, moms will always just say "you're being disrespectful" and it HECCING SUCKS
"You should be grateful that we feed and clothe you"
No, thats litterally your obligation as parents.
Yes that is their obligation, but it’s still important to be grateful for it. Sometimes it’s important to realise what you have and realise what people do for you.
@@kyrahampton7417 i respectfully disagree. no one should ever be grateful for _basic human parenting_ and it's extremely unfortunate that there are children who've been deprived of those things as a result of their circumstances.
with this said, however, telling your children outright that they need to be grateful for BASIC THINGS indicates that the parent views the child as an outright _burden_ and the parent has a need to be _validated_ . often these remarks are more about the insecurity of the parent projecting onto the child and not about the child at all, nor about world views.
yes, everyone deserves to be appreciated, but not at the expense of blaming someone for not being "grateful enough." it only makes the child feel guilty and makes them believe that they are not good enough at expressing how they feel, and/or makes them deny their owns feelings of resentment towards their parents' toxic behavior(s).
with all these factors taken into account, i think this type of obliged gratefulness condones more "i need to please my parents" toxic behavior. no child should have to be asking their parents for approval and acceptance. ever.
if a parent wants to properly express to their child that they should be grateful for basic things, they should be educating their child on various worldly events like poverty, abuse, and cultures from around the world. naturally, the child would begin to see their own world differently and begin to become grateful of their surroundings.
Theres a difference of being grateful and parents using it as leverage against their child in arguements.
Nicia Navarro I only agree with the last paragraph. And I think that „Kyra Hampton“ meant exactly that, what you said in the last paragraph. Yes, everyone needs and has a right to basic things like food and shelter. But its always good to appreciate those things and be grateful for it because not everyone gets to experience those ‚basic‘ things. I think its just disrespecting towards people who have nothing, if we are not grateful for what we have.
@@_chapternumberone_8782 Appreciating what you have is different from appreciating who gave it to you. I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about basic things like food and shelter. But I'm not grateful to my parents for that. They chose to have me. That was their job.
Anyone else get scared when your parents say “come here!” Or “I’m not gonna hit you” honestly scariest shit ever.
K C 😂😂
When I was with them I was. The way my name was said told me whether I was going to get a mild scolding or the effects of a rainstorm of hurtful feelings.
I'm 21 and haven't seen my mom for 4 years now but my heart still makes a jump whenever I hear some call my name in a certain way
Yk whats gonna go down 😬🤧yikes.
yah 😥
My mother and I had a lot of fights and I was always blamed even when I'm standing up for myself.
Don’t forget the: “You make me feel like I’ve failed as a parent!”
That always hurts
If they say this they truly have failed
Just Someone
If you still need to tell your kid that you’ve most definitely failed.
I mean, they definitely failed as a parent, so they were right about that.
It makes me feel like me being unable to engage is my fault too or I am not meeting their standards
True
“because we’re your parents and as long as you live in our house you’re gonna do as we say”
“because im your dad and im right. end of discussion”
can’t count how many times i’ve heard that
ua-cam.com/video/_ojip0_itcA/v-deo.html
Honestly just respect that and just move out wgen ready and do you. I mean every house different rules in the same way when you get yours you will have boundaries so my advise is Move Out when ready to avoid being told like that!
@@thedivyanshii stop self promoting, just don't do that shit
Or my mom saying that I dont deserve privacy because I'm not an adult yet 🌚 I literally cant even change in peace- then I tell her I'm not comfortable with something shes doing (aka the changing thing" she hits me with the "I've seen it all before " 🤩
@@mars-qd2xk Oh god...
strict parents: why don't you have friends
kids: because i'm not allowed to
strict parents: who said you couldn't
kids: you did
my parents after removing all my privacy and cuts off my internet: why doesn’t she have any friends?
@@saffireo same
@@imyourhoff7482 i also do have friends it’s just hard to keep them if i can’t respond to their messages
That also happened to me because of my grandma
I don't have any friends because of my parents
"once your 18 I'm kicking you out, I don't care if you get pregnant or do drugs or whatever you are horrible" damn this is bringing back a lot of memories
Those dislikes are just toxic parents not admiting their mistakes
edit: thanks for the 1k likes
True
Dont worry someone pressed it accidentally
True
yeah very true
I love this
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" oh, I'm sorry mom, I didn't realize my emotions weren't important
it's like saying "who asked" to an important notice
I always got this one. The only reason I'm so "well behaved" now is because of shit like that.
My parents do this a lot
Awww man, funny part is my mom made a game called the woop in game, where we played hide and seek, once she found us we would get a be beating until we cried. The thing is we had to cry to get out of the game. Man I was Petrified, but dang it reminds me of tht. Good times (*´︶`*)ฅ♡
@@d--kx8km that's horrifying
My favourite is “you can’t take a joke, you are so sensitive”
Day6 Fan Yeah my Mom would say just a joke just a little joke after she insulted me.
Especially when you have ADHD with hypersensitivity
I’ve been told that one so many times...
Day6 Fan // I know right. They don’t eve apologize, just say “It’s a joke”. :(
Day6 Fan usually comes from a hyper sensitive parent. Turn it back on them and see what happens 😂
My mom used to threaten to take me back to the foster home, since I’m adopted. She once faked a call in front of me, pretending to talk to the foster home and telling them to come take me back. I think that kind of messed me up. I grew up feeling like I needed to prove that I was a good kid, otherwise I’d be tossed aside.
Holy shit, That IS messed up! I'm SO sorry she did that! ;A; You DID NOT deserve that! Hell, NO ONE deserves that!
More common than it should be, sorry that happened to you
When we were toddlers they want us to
STAND UP AND TALK.
When we are grown ups they tell us to
SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.
This comment is so underated factsss
😭
Fr tho
😭😭😭😭😭😭
Well said!
And my favorite: "You can't be like that. What's wrong with you? You're never going to be a functioning human being if you act like that."
Well, Mom, that's the last time I share with you how crowds scare me, phone calls make me nervous, and I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.
I know that so bad
Well, I’m like that because my mom was being too overprotective with me because I’m a girl. I can’t go to my friend’s house without any good reasons to, no going to a boy’s house even for group project and I’m limited to only once a week to socialize with my friends outside of school and they are confused as to why I became so introverted and don’t like to talk with other people. Oh, and because they have a believe that only extroverted people who will succeed in live, they’re forcing me to talk to random strangers now, yay :’)
꧁SkyleeKates꧂ . Idc that your what u r your a person and should b treated like an angel idc at all about sexuality or whatever it is if we can have a conversation then that’s great we can b friends 😁 that’s just how I look at it though also add me on snap btw lol @bhillgoth 😂😂😂
honestly, phone calls scare me too
@@2boonk4gang why are you being so mean to introverts ? We are just people who don't like to socialize a lot
It’s even worse when they’re sarcastic about almost everything they say, it gets so confusing and makes me feel like an idiot. Edit: tysm for all the likes, I honestly thought my dad was the only one who did this.
That is a form of manipulation
I never like to ask them questions, especially my dad, because he always replies in a sarcastic tone as if i should already know the answer and im dumb for even asking
Cole DesJ SAME! My dad is always like, why don’t you ever ask for help? But when I do ask he either responds sarcastic tone or an extremely annoyed tone.
I felt this one
Sometimes I can't tell if my dad is joking or being serious
I was raised by a deeply narcissistic family, so... Yes. I'm related. My blood-relatives do every single toxic shit you can imagine.
@Warpig I'm non english native speaker so I'll try to explain myself as clear as I can.
They've arguing, screaming and throwing things to each other for their entire lives. I can't recall a single day with both parents at home without a fight.
When growing up, I was se**ally harassed by two uncles (One by marriage, the other was my mother's brother). When I did tell, everyone (My parents and my grandma) turned against me and made it my fault for "provoking them". I was 12 when I told and always have been an hyperlexic autistic who only wanted to be left alone and read.
After that, everything spiraled down. More fights, suddenly I was guilty for every shit in the family even when I was not there, everything my youngest aunt (She is my age) did was my fault, they also parentified me a lot using me as their trashcan or messenger every single day they fought, never was allowed to have my own money, never was allowed to have privacy (They even took my door away a couple of times). She used to search all my stuff and throw them in a regular basis when they fought, jailed me without any clothes but what I had on for a week twice, beaten me several times (The first I can recall I was having a meltdown and my father took me by my hair and hit my head against the floor).
These are just examples.
More recently they tried to take my daughter away from me, they took me to the court, harassed me, harassed my political family, threatened my ex-husband with riding over him with their car, tried to take us out of the road three times when we coincided in the same place (We were living in a small town at the time). She tried to kidnap my daughter in the street waiting for us at our building entrance hiding behind the thrash cans (They are out on the streets on my country and they are massive). Tried to kidnap her from the school at the end of the classes. Harassed us (My ex and myself) when we opened our own business at the point we ended closing it. Tried to hit us at the court door couple of times.
All of that, of course, while they tried to make the show of a perfect family with a problematic child and trying to gaslight the shit out of everyone around me (Friends, any family member, judge, lawyers, police, social workers, they tried even with the forensic therapists. Telling tales, using their money inviting them to coffee, lunch, whatever needed).
Even with all of that, I win. But for almost 25 years of my life, my only wish in my birthday was to sleep and never wake up again.
Do you need more elaborating?
Can you open up a bit more if you dont mind? I hope your alright tho, it has been 2 years
@@LazyArtyz Yeah, I'm doing good now, thanks. I went no contact w/them for 6 years already and keep going, the best thing I ever did. As for some details, well... From turning a blind eye to SA, substance abuse (Drugs, alcohol, just name it), fat shaming, slim shaming, bullying, physical violence, harassment, tried to take me to the courts to take my own daughter away from me, harassing my ex-in laws to the point my ex and I decided to split 'cause my ex-father in law had a heart attack due to a particular harassment from my father, tried to run their car over me three times, came 1000 kms away following me to harass me at my job (I was in the military) to the point that my lieutenant had to coordinate security just to allow me to take my daughter to the school, tried to kidnap her several times (Even my mother popped out from behind a trash can once), bullying and laughing at you if you cry...
You can name it. As I said, every toxic trait anyone can have, the have it.
Sorry if I misspell anything or if my grammar is not so great, I'm spanish and english is my third language. 🤗
I feel like some parents forget that their kids are human too and instead think of them as objects sometimes...
I plan to manipulate them. Overpower them. Overcome them. I will be the most powerful being in the family with my many feral cats. They will see me as human one way or another.
@Legend of the Blue Macerator humans are animals
@@foxlyticalxd2562 had us in the first half not gonna lie
Or as a mini them
my mom LOVES telling me she owns me as if i have no human soul
"keep crying and cry as loud as you can cus I am going to make you cry even more" anyone else has has there parents say this?
Ill give you a reason to cry
@@imbetterthanyou468 my dad said the same thing, that and toughen up
oh when I was crying they told me I had no reason to cry but they will give me a reason to cry
Thank God I dont
This words are actually so painful...
i just hate when parents and teachers say “don’t talk back to be!” “don’t yell at me!” “show me respect!” like dude first of all that’s how a conversation works and plus you can scream you throat out at me but i can’t speak my opinion? You really expect me to respect you when you scream at me for being a little unorganised, like really...
I don’t think you are really telling the real full story here... you are only saying the parts that make you seem good. When teachers or parents say “don’t back talk” it is usually because you are talking with an attitude, being rude, or mumbling complaints under your breath.
@@rebeccaeverett8957 well my teacher always say that whenever they got burn or being wrong and wrote them up a referral or detention. Teacher and any other adult are really sensitive to being mark as mistake. So they often say don't talk back.
For example, one of my teacher say "I'm not going to teach you it not my responsibility to motivate you guy" and student say "but you are a teacher" don't talk back to me ,write up detention.
Btw if the teacher never done that to you. Then I guess you probably have a good teacher. I always have the terrible teacher. I'm out of school and I never wanna come back to visit as guest. Hell no. You make me wanna say a lot of story...I'm gonna say one more story...if u wanna read it
In history class, my teacher told all student to return the assignment. We come up to his desk and he got mad. Told us story of his brother and him separate bedroom by tape borderline. So no one should be approaching his desk. One of my classmate ask him how we turn in assignment (we in trailer) he say turn in to his desk but we shouldn't put it on his desk because we touching his borderline -_- we all fail and reunion in the next school year (I think 2 or 6 student pass)
@@rebeccaeverett8957 its true, however the amount of disrespect for the kid should never be okay in any point of time.
@@rebeccaeverett8957 the kid or the person in question it's rude or mumbels under their breath for a reason.
exactly. studies have shown that the kids who usually shut up and don't speak their opinion are most likely to grow up with a low self-esteem or anxiety
3:00 This sounds like the parents are only keeping you because it’s illegal not to, like they LOOK FORWARD to you leaving.
Don't forget the classic "until you get out of this house, you have to do what i want you to do"
Oooh yes
My parents don't want me to move out and they won't ever let me
Omg yes girlll periodtt
Yep
That has some basu
Is tho
"I'm older you should respect me" this just rubs me the wrong way, I understand you are supposed respect your elders but, it's feels like they don't even respect us at all. Respect comes from both people.
Respect should be earned, not given freely for being a few decades older than you. And the ones who say "Respect your elders" often do so because they have done nothing to justify any type of respect.
Or "I'm older. I'm above you. How dare you compare yourself to me"
@@nxteaaa FRRR
The only thing hurts when your father scold you for cracking jokes and being happy all the time because I'm useless and worthless so I should be quite and shameful of my self
@@dubeyjifitness2003 im so sorry :(
Parents: Shut up you’re not the grown up here
Also parents: Behave like an adult
Bruh
Bruh.
Bruh
Chain broken lmao, New chain BRUUUH
BRUUUH
whenever I try to explain to my parents that they say harmful things they say 'you don't know anything about abuse or fear!'(funnily enough I have an anxiety disorder), 'you don't know what it's like to be scared of a parent', 'because you haven't been hit or scared for your life because of a parent you dont have the right to tell me I'm abusing you!'
Child: *Calmly explains something or defends themselves in any way*
Parent: *Screams and throws a tantrum because of their unbearably argumentative child*
Feel that
They act like toddlers Jesus..
if i ask them something more thank two times they throw a temper tantrum
Literally what I have to go through... and then I just end up walking away and staying in my room for the rest of the day
@@evilkermit4795 Dude I hate that so much. If I ask once I'll never get an answer, but ask again (even days later) and she'll say I'm "asking too much" and "won't get it if ( I ) keep nagging like that".
Also if I ask a month in advance it's "too early to talk about that, ask me next week" but if I ask the next week it's "too late!" and I "Didn't give enough time for a decision to be made".
Being called “stupid” for literally everything I did that my parent didn’t like my entire life
I felt that
im 11 and i go thru that everyday
@@tiyaku good luck
brxzyedits I’m 9 and I go through that everyday
@@iateakitoscheesecake we gon make it out one day i promise 🥺🖤
parents will judge what your into, then question why you never want anything.
Exactly!
Kokichi ahahahahahahah hydraulic press goes smash
I'm starting to believe we all have the same parents.
SO TRUEEEEE!
L he really just went splat tho
Watching these and hoping and trying every day to be a better parent for my baby girl. Break the cycle!
Ot the infamous "stop crying or I'll give u something to cry about"
We can never forget that one😎
my grade 7 teacher used to tell me stuff like this and it's still screwing me up even though im a freshman in high school now
shinkleihh I’m in the 5th grade now, but my 3rd grade teacher used to THREATEN me with a ruler
My parents always say that to my siblings 😑
My mom would beat me if I would cry more 🙃
I always felt even at a young age that the whole respect thing made no sense, especially when they were clearly being disrespectful.
I swear I’m not going to be like this to my kids, because that shit hurts ngl and I don’t want to my kids to be in their rooms heartbroken late at night or something in their room and not knowing how to deal with it.
Ngl, I don't plan on having kids, I just wanna end this family bloodline
Lana Lee same, that’s why i am afraid to have kids too. No one deserves to be treated like this
I make sure I don’t talk to my son the way I was talked to, I actually talk to him and explain what’s going on and ask him what he’s thinking/feeling. Little difference why he responds to me much more positive than my parents.
Research some of those first, though, because a few of them are misconstrued into sounding 100% bad for the kid. Like #8, if you leave off the "or else", then it's good to have the kid learn to obey the parents & do chores that are not harmful to them & are age-appropriate. They learn that they have the ability to work & can get a job to rely upon themselves instead of someone else to pay their living expenses. They learn to clean up after themselves, to do chores to be a part of a team, & that it's good to help everyone sometimes.
Obviously the name-calling is bad, but re-word a few of these things & they're good reminders to the kid that they'll be independent of you in just a few years, like change "Once you're 18, I'm kicking you out!" to "Well, when you're 18, you can move out & make your own rules for your place." That gives them something to look forward to; they refocus.
Also, whether your Mother Mary or Medusa, your teenagers are probably going to end up in their room shutting you out. It depends on the kid & their way of expressing their need for independence. It's not always a reflection of the parenting style. Also, try really hard to live by the rule, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." It gets really hard, especially during those teen years when some teens hate you just for existing & may tell you often. And, expect to fail sometimes, but you'll do better than if you're not consciously trying.
@@lanalee580 Figure out what leads them to act in ways that you see are harmful. Then you take the mystery out of it & you can plan to take a different path. My father was an alcoholic. That's why he said & did a lot of what he did. My solution--I don't drink alcohol at all & I educated my kids on what alcohol does to a person & a family.
Of my four adult kids, one has a couple drinks a year, at celebrations with friends. One drank a lot when he was 21, but decided to stop at about 22 (after feeling like crap all the time), another one never drinks, & my fourth one may try beer when he's old enough, but generally seems uninterested in it. They saw, in me, how life can be lived without it.
Grew up with my guardian, “I'm going to send you to boarding school.” she really did because she felt that I'm “indisciplined” at home.
I definitely feel like I got emotional trauma from the time I spent living with my aunt and her husband. 😔
"Dont talk back"
"Im older i know better"
"Stop being disrespectful"
"Be more like your brother"
"You are out when you are 16 i dont care where you stay"
"You are a problem child"
"I feel sorry for whoever ends up with you is going to hate it"
"Why are you like this ?"
"If you dont do as I say this and this wil happen"
- These are the words that broke me down most
I just dont know what to do to feel better , they also moderate my account so they will probably see this.
❤:(
@@syvj-xm2ti ❤🥺
well since Parents are older than us then chances are they
DO know better
my Parents are the ones who went to college graduated and got jobs:(not to mention they're the REAL adults of course
while I'm barely into my 20s):
why tf would I be the one who knows better than them?😂
no disrespect is intended
towards anybody
@@monabohamad2242 i fully agree , but im talking about , my own life , when i know something is wrong and they did it , they would say they know better , but yeah i agree with you , thanks for the comment💙
Well then, they'll probably feel bad when they see this, and they'll change for the better 🤗 it's okay to be imperfect, I'm sure they will learn to love you the way you are ❤️😘
If your parents/parent says:
“I am the reason why you have food and a roof over your head!”
That is their job as a parent,did they even read a single book on parenting?
“This is your fault!”
No it is your parents’ fault that THEY made you.You can’t give birth to yourself.
“You are terrible at (insert random skill)!”
Like parent like child.
"This is your fault" Makes sense. Like, imagine if you spill coffee all over your moms shirt. You cant just say "oH iTs NoT mY FaULt YoU gAvE bIrTh tO mE" You need to learn how to be more responsible. But parents shouldnt say that either way.
ILoveTPosethe2nd/ Minty Deluxe YT
*That's the thing with parents who say "tHiS iS yOuR fAuLt"*
We couldn't choose whether we could get born or not,it's our parents who choose
@@r._.l Parents choose yes, but you cant just say that everytime you do something wrong. You have to be more responsible.
in “I’m am the reason you have food and a roof over your head” my mom has never said that bc she says is not their job and she could just throw me into adoption center
The bare necessities
i used to always say, “when i grow up,” “when i grow older” “when i have kids” when i was younger, now i say “if i grow up,” “if i reach 20” “if i get married,” “if i have kids” because i’ve been so emotionally abused that i’m ready to give up
Please don't give up because whenever I give up on anything, I realise that just after that was my best opportunity that I wasted, then I wait for the next one
Same happened to me..I still say,"when I move out...." I'll try to minimise my contacts with my parents really... I'll try to get a job while in college and be self sufficient
What happened bud? Just say these things: "I will grow up", "I will get married", "I will have kids", and "I will reach 20." And change that username. You aren't dumb.
hey! ik things might be hard right now, but everything will get better with time. i promise, you're gonna have a better future ahead of you. so don't give up! if you ever feel like you don't have anyone for you, know that there are 100's of people who are going through what ur going through. YOU WILL GROW UP. YOU WILL HAVE KIDS AND YOU WILL REACH 20. stay strong :)
This comment hit hard
I'm crying rn. This is so relatable. I just wish my dad would listen instead of saying that we are lucky that I don't have divorced partants, that's all I need rn. Just sad I used to have a better relationship with him too. But he just only knows how to bottle things up and say something insetive when trying to help. :'(
They think that talking back is 'disrespectful' when we only want to say our point or tell them the reason, sometimes, we aren't the ones 'childish' because we are the ones who have a point.
Probably because when you “make a point” it comes across as rude. Sometimes when people are trying to make a point, they don’t even realise how rude they sound
@@kyrahampton7417 yes, i agree, but sometimes we cant even say a word
@@kyrahampton7417 I wish that was the cause. For some unholy reason, my dad seems to think I have a vendetta against him since I was 6.
@@Oreo-vh7rk damn, Im sorry bro, but we gotta just take it in and I guess keep it to ourselves
@@kyrahampton7417 Just for the not im an expert on parents, and this is the code they follow.
IF word COME FROM child DURING argument
THEN consider words AS rude AND stupid.
I think the worst thng a parent can say is, "I'm disappointed in you." We aren't born to make our parents proud!
You kind of are, it depends on context. But you should always be trying to make your parents feel proud of you. But it depends on context.
Honestly it depends on the circumstances. I have always had a toxic relationship with my mom so now that I'm a mom I aim to be different. However if my children do things they know better than to do or slack off in school when I've seen proof that you know the work, I will say that sometimes because I know my opinion means that much. I only push my kids to be the best version of themselves. I talk to them and ask them about things that are bothering them. I care. I understand. I am never condescending with them. I am very open with them bc that's what I want in return. Lol my son even told me that I should be a motivational speaker. My relationship with my kids are very important to me and I think that's something that parents don't think about. One day they will grow up and things will make sense and now you have another person who can't intermingle with society bc of childhood trauma. I am determined to be a difference.
I remember being scared of my parents (especially my dad) being disappointed with me. While he said he wasnt, whenever my grades were a mark down or I didnt know how to do something, his tone and behavior to me changed extremely. Now Im extremely scared of anybody being disappointed just because of my parents
It kinda depends on the context.. but why would u not want your parents to be proud?? Surely you would want others to feel happiness because of you and your achievements. It’s a nice feeling to make others proud and feel happy for you, as well as making yourself proud too.
@@cockroach3500 My mom is never proud of me..I'm never enough..:C
“Why can’t you be more like (name)”, “Why are you always such a disappointment?” (Or sm like that), bringing up prior events that the children aren’t comfortable remembering, being angry and taking it out on the children or like being criticized from the smallest things. Those are the things my parents say that I hate the most.
Breanna Clement parents can be so ignorant some times- I don’t get how they expect us to be “fine”. Are you and your brother doing better now?
Parents: *younger sis name* is our last hope.
These comments occured often, they started when I first took the 11+ exam (Caribbean) and the school I scored for was not ideal but it was the only school I had knowledge of because of them....
I have 2 sisters, one older, one younger.
wildfyah I get similar comments like these “Why do you even go to school anyway if you can’t even do these? You’re gonna be working in a restaurant just like us. You’re so useless, let’s hope your sister isn’t like you. You want to get into Central? ( good high school ) in your dreams” (I’m only 12 and my sis is not yet 2) they want me to fill in forms in online for bills, to credit card stuff. And when I make the simplest mistakes I get yelled at and criticized. Just know you can prove them wrong!
Ughh being compared to other hurts so much😭💔💔💔
@@topsbb127 Ikr, I'm me and you're you, we're two different people. Why can't all people understand and respect that? It must be extra hard for twins tho ;-;
My father began giving the "when you're 18 you're out!" comment to me on my 5th birthday. there was some nuance that further developed his power structure and honestly, him receiving hospice care for months before succumbing to sepsis felt like the world physically gave back to him an intense measure of what he did to his children...
I still love him - he was my father. I was so relieved when he died.
“Its because of the phone”
“You should be like your classmates!”
“What are you wearing?”
“Eat it or starve, i dont care”
“You better get high grades or else!”
Eat it or starve is a classic one, but you are actually guilty for it
I can really relate at the first line...
For me they call me fat and then say Y don't u eat when we were ur age we would eat all day I'm like idk mom maybe cause u called me fat!?!
Aarya Shinde lol i feel u
Totally relatable 😅😅😅 except for the last one😚
Parents love to torture you and when you defend yourself, suddenly you’re “Talking back” or being disrespectful.
What they don't know is that talking back doesn't necessarily mean being disrespectful and it is really stupid
Conversation is talking back and forth
🙃 me : that's how conversation works
Yes one time had had talk back to my mom it something I have never done before but she wouldn't not listen the next thing I know I yelling because I wanted to be heared but she still dismissed me and said that I was being disrespectful all I want was to be heared
Mmm yummy
Parents when we’re having an argument: My House
Parents when they tell us to do our chores: *Our House*
Whenever my mom says that i can just hear my own neck going *snap*
omg YES I CANNOT EXPRESS THE AGREEMENT I FEEL THIS COMMENT COULD NOT BE MORE ACCURATE ISTG
*communism song intensifies*
If i had 1USD for every time i have heard that phrase I'd be able to afford rent for a month.
TRUEEEEE
@@bustergundo516 (when ur parents make u pay rent even tho ur still in full time education and cant legally get a job...)
Thing is my family stopped saying “Your immature.” And “Your weird.” After I got diagnosed with ADHD. They are a good family don’t get me wrong we like to tease each other but I have noticed that they (that being just adults in the family) changed ALOT when around me.
Stopped saying things they used to say in a teasing way. Which now makes me think they think “Your a freak.” Every time I’m around them TwT
I hate how when I'm arguing with my mom she says "Okay you don't have to yell!" Even though I'm not yelling at all. In fact she's yelling at me
I relate to this at a different level 🤯
Same
That's my dad!!
same. Or when they ask you to speak up, and you speak up. Then they tell you to stop yelling at them.
My mom has a natural loud voice and continues to get louder and when I try to get louder for her to understand, it's always "Oh your trying to be an adult/Your think you know it all/ your kids would do the same to you" I'm 18. I dont even know if I want to continue to 21. Having kids is out the window and I just want my mom to listen but its "You're talking back."
"When i was your age."
- You were in the 50's and im not, im just a human being teenager.
"Why can't you be like ___!"
-It seems like you want them more than me as your child.
"Why can't you be like me?"
-Your not me, Im not you, Im just being myself.
"___ is not good enough!"
-Your just jealous, I got in ___ and your still mad?
"Your a mistake."
-Same as you because i am related to you.
i cant use that last one because I'm adopted :C
and my dad would probably ko me for talking back
@@SleepyBishZz i dont have a dad
@@nn_eptun8602 and i oop-
Plot twist
Mom: says something stupid
Me: calmly explains that she is wrong
Mom: “DONT ARGUE WITH ME”
Me: “I’m not”
Mom: “STOP WHILE YOU’RE BEHIND”
True.
lol my mom has OCD, and if ONE TINY thing is wrong with my room, she'll go off. She'll get mad and complain. ( which is kinda understanding, since I eat upstairs. ) but if I say, hold up, or can you wait a second? she'll go crazy or if I "talk back". IDK why she does that, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
Tania Zuniga Chavez I can relate my parents also don’t believe that science is correct and that the government is to blame for everything
Tbh that's really childish
every frickin time!
i wish i could show these kinda vids my parents... they do all these thimgs which make me feel the worst... im just tired of living with my parent... atleast thanks to this channel i found out my parents are toxic af.. i was literally crying as i saw the whole vid and while reading comments... i dont have anyone for me not even me sibling cuz they are same as my parents.. the support atleast from online is wonderful..thanks a lot!
The worse feeling is when they compare you to another person, “why can’t you act like _____” “ look at _____” “I wish _____ was my child”
Reading all these replies make me happy that I’m not alone on this, literally if I could I would give each one of y’all a hug rn, just know that I appreciate you and you only :)
I hate that, I always feel like this happens whenever my friend would come over from a sleepover
ItsAshley_duh hhh even on the opposite side, it hurts. my mother is like dO yOu wAnT tO bE lIkE yOuR sIsTeR? referring to stuff that I won’t say for her privacy and I get angry at that because she’s not putting down just me but her and my sister is the person I’ve bonded with the most, she’s been miles nicer to me than my mother. I’ve experienced both sides and they both hurt a lot
my parents do that all the time and it bothers me so much. It turns into a lecture for hours and if i show any emotions it’s seen as disrespectful. if i don’t, apparently i’m not paying attention
Okay so guys since we all are sharing and getting along HOW YA DOIN
heyy everyone that’s literally my family, sometimes they would spend the whole car drive talking about my cousins and how better they are, they would even say bad things about me in front of me and I would sometimes cry but they wouldn’t know
These kinds of parents when their kid moves out at 18: “why won’t my child ever visit me? I did nothing wrong!”
Exactly,after years of abuse they suddenly play as the victims
Sadly most play victims we can only learn from bad parenting what not too do
I never experience that like from my parents like im 18, my mom still feeds me and give me money. So i'll gonna visit her or my mom will live in my house when i have one.
@@thepink3798 Good luck my friend
@@CSS54 It's okay bro,you have every right to rant...I hope you and your sister get better
Especially : "I wish you were like ___" comparisons about your friend being better. It feels so depressing.
Then you would get “don’t talk back”
Whenever my siblings and I made a mistake, my father would say, "Why don't you just pray that I'll die? That way no one will tell you what to do and no one will scold you." Does he not know that it makes us (especially me) feel terrible? Hell, I sometimes think that I should just die instead of him, so he'll feel less burdened.
Sometimes I wished I’d just die so my family really sees what I’m going through. All I hear is “you’re fine.”
Don’t forget…
-“You have no idea what I went through. You better be grateful for what I do for you.”
-“You’re too young to know anything. You should just listen to me.”
-“Stop crying. You’re just sensitive. Get up and do what I say.”
and the "if i even thought about arguing with my parents, i'd be knocked into next week."
Ugh, my dad did all 3. And still does, even when I've been an adult for 8 years
I would also add:
"Stop talking with drug dealers and men trafficers.", "I see you, been on your phone all day. Is anyone threatening you? Remember my word; You are going to jail oneday!"
Me (☞ ಠ_ಠ)☞ ⊙.☉, playing tetris on my phone.
The second one is an excuse that my mom uses way too much
The third hits the closest to home
"Parents are supposed to be the ones you can depend on during down times"
key word: supposed
Yeah my *online* friends are my guidance
Social media is my guidance
Theyre the ones that causes down times hahah wtf hate my mom
its ok ganyu *hug*
“Your opinion doesn’t matter” i’m quite young and my dad says this to me all the time.
My former wife and her narcissistic mother used that on ME all the time, and I was 30+!
My mom says it too me too:( but dont worry babe, your not alone. Others are experiencing it too and know exactly how you feel ❤ your opinion DOES matter, and someone like that is undeserving to hear it. Keep your head high queen, your doing great 👑💖
If your parents are súper abusive I would recommend you to move out ASAP because then you will grow up and you will end up being really messed up mentally (I am not saying this will be your fault but your parent's fault, it's not good for yourself and will affect you mentally in the future years) I am just saying this because you said you were young so maybe you can escape from that and have a better future (this is all imo)
Credenciales Inseguras they aren’t super abusive they just say some abusive things
ok, but is ur pfp... aph romano-
Not my parents, but my 18 year old brother is exactly like this. I didn't even think that's toxic, I thought it was normal so I just accepted it. He has changed a bit but it still hurts to know I was treated like that by my own brother, and if you're going trough that from your loved ones too, know that you're loved by everyone here, including me :)
“God, you’re just like your mother” to put it lightly, my mother isn’t in the picture for good reasons. My dad made that comment when I was 9, and it still sticks.
Same... Every time someone say this to me I feel so bad
My dad said that too and my mum was better than him..
i feel you. my mom died a few years ago and whenever im upset, im told im just like my mother and it breaks my heart every time.
My grandmother hates my last name (Mendoza), cause it's my father's and she hated him. And everytime she has the chance, she makes fun of it and says that her's is superior, and implies that I have no reason to feel pride about my heritage.
I feel for you... Ive been told that I'm gonna be like my deadbeat dad and it hurts. I hope you're okay!
I hate when parents say, "Put down your phone, you're getting addicted to the internet."
But actually *THEY'RE* the ones who are addicted to mobile devices.
I know how that feels...
FACTS
Relatable.
@@Salma-in2ny Well same...
Relatable 💯
I’ve always disliked the term “respect your elders” because younger ppl such as children deserve just as much respect.
(While we should be respecting elderly people, just because someone is older than us, doesn’t mean we should be treated with less respect....)
I never understood why old people are so important anyway
@@tantris2876 ye
I once said to my parents since you don't respect me and treat me like trash, I can so well yelling and screaming at you. You don't deserve my respect! I'm not a working assistant or something, I' m your child....unless....I'm not!?(´⊙ω⊙`)！
@@tantris2876 yeah not like they can do anything
I respect my grandmother because she respects me back
*4 common things parents say & why they're invalid*
i hope parents read this.
1. "don't talk back"
it's called communication. you've had your turn, now it's time to hear out the other. if something is wrong with what they said, explain why, don't just shut them up with that excuse.
2. "show me some respect"
your child is not obligated to respect you for literally no reason. your actions and words make you a respectable person, and being a parent doesn't mean you don't need to earn it.
3. "i've been through more stuff than you/you're too young to know"
this straight up invalidates your child's feelings and makes them feel like they don't matter. actually listen to their problems. this is why they likely won't open up afterwards. remember that they're a human being too.
4. "why can't you be more like [___]?"
comparing your child to someone 'better' utterly destroys their self esteem. praise them for how they're doing currently, and help them out with things they can't solve by themselves instead of ruthlessly judging them, because they're trying their best.
MUM AND DAD READ THIS COMMENT
"why are you always on your phone?!"
"I'm talking to my online friends..-"
"wtf is that supposed to mean? get real friends"
*in a slight annoyed tone* "mom,these ARE real friends."
*yelling* "DONT RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME!"
"Don't raise my voice at you? How about you stop being so ignorant?"
{Night_time Demons} same
I wouldn't have the ability to tell my mom I have online friends.
lαzу _вlσѕѕσм Yesh my dad doesn’t allow me to have online frienss
@@hzannahh Same.
"Im gonna kick you once you reach 18"
Asian Moms: Where do you think you're going?
Well not 18, it can be anything 😫😫 now take me I've been listening to this from 7 years i guess
So truuuuu
HAHAHAHAHAHA
My mom want to kick me. But my father kept me home I m Asian
My Latina mum 🤡
"why can't you be like the other kids?"
My mind: "most of us are similar."
How is this from 10 years ago 🤔
(I already know)
@@p0isonlatte922 tell me🤧
We are similar don't worry
@Sweet sea Nature what do you have 😭