Truths About Marriage (sorry if I am being harsh)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 чер 2024
- Hey my loves!
Welcome to my UA-cam channel! In this video, I talk about marriage. If you enjoyed this video, please don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe ♡ ♡
===================================
CONNECT WITH ME!
♡ Instagram: jemilaxo
♡ TikTok: jemilax
♡ Snapchat: jemilaaxo
FAQ
Age - 25
Camera - Sony ZV-E10
Editing - iMovie & CapCut
===================================
Timestamps
0:00 - intro
1:20 - truth #1
2:58 - truth #2
4:30 - truth #3
5:42 - truth #4
6:37 - truth #5
7:34 - truth #6
8:09 - truth #7
9:08 - truth #8
10:05 - truth #9
10:27 - truth #10
12:12 - bonus truth
12:51 - outro
“Take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before your busyness, and your life before your death.”
- Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
How relevant is this hadith today?
No
@@Emptytopfloor yes! Most definitely! The truth has spoken!
yes
Very relevant
Very relavant
The attraction part is soooo true men would never marry a girl who is not attractive to them so why would I marry someone who I don’t find attractive lmao 😂
Absolutely there should be a certain degree of attraction but that’s not everything. ❤
And attraction usually also a sign that he is your future husband
Yes girl, believe me I was engaged to someone who I wasn’t attracted to, not that he was ugly but he’s not my type. Everything else was also un compatible, but it still bothers me to this day that I gave time to someone I wasn’t even attracted to 💀
Exactly!
Men can definitely marry someone they’re not 100% attracted to because they might want something else from her but women are waaay more visual than men
I agree attraction is important to me. I dont expect a model at all but I want to find my husband attractive to me even if others dont think hes attractive
Isn’t that just a basic thing to expect from a marriage? Lmao funny how we’ve made it into some kind of unexpected thing we need to accept
@@Hahahah7718 no it is not a common expectation especially if its arrange marriage.. a lot of women settled for what they got.
You really cooked with the "Trying to cheat off each others exams- when were taking completely different classes" the marriage journey is most certainly not linear 🙏🏽
That is BS trust me. She was on point on the part of the manners of the man before marriage and the meher. The rest, she doesn't know what she is talking about. I also doubt she tried these things. Don't be her experimental mice.
#1 its important who you marry not when
#2 families need to like each other and you. love between you and spouse is not enough
#3 marriage is not gonna save your live
#4 attraction is important
#5 you need to know how to communicate before marriage
#6 don’t think too much about celebration dress location
#7 take advantage of your life now don’t wait until marriage to do certain things
#8 you need to have hobbies/
Sense of community
#9 partner needs a relationship with god
#10 healthy coping mechanism (no drug addicts)
Bonus
#11 if he
-is not 6‘3 or taller
-is not financially stable
-doesn’t have a beard that connects
-is not willing to give me 500k mehr
=He ain’t the ain’t (that’s with 50% discount applied due to current state of the economy)
thanks for the summary
please add the bonus point too.
@@p.o.w_judithadded it to the list
i’m an atheist…..but I would NEVER cheat on my significant other. Why would you even marry someone if you are just going to cheat on them. If you love someone you would NEVER cheat on them, and if you don’t love the person you are married with, even praying can’t help you. Guys who cheat… girl… they ARE going to cheat AND pray like wtf???
I’m a Christian woman but this was so helpful, a great reminder honestly. Thank you 😊❤(this is the first time I’m on your page so I’m not sure if it a religious page, like how Christians have Christian related advice on their UA-cam channel but yeah, that’s why I said what I said)
hello, I really do think that you can apply everything to the Christian faith. Its really similar and both hold beauty in itself. Best wishes
And I thought I was weird I didn't want to get to know anyone that I didn't find attractive. We are conditioned to think that as women.
But I personally cannot imagine to do the deed with a person that I am not attracted to at all and marriage does consist out of that for a major part.
Especially in Islam, where your duty as a wife is being available whenever your husband wants you to but no one is speaking about that 😂
THIS!!! I was introduced to a few and was told to get know them and give them a chance. But I didn't even want to entertain the thought of giving them a chance. I just simply wasn't attracted to them.
What hurt the most was some of my family members pushing me. They just didn't understand and told me it isn't all about looks and deen is the most important thing to look for in a spouse.
But see, beauty IS an important criteria to look for as well.
If I can't even imagine holding hands with this person (let alone doing the deed) what makes you think I'm gonna give them a chance?
It's sad how men in some cultures just gets to pick and choose a girl they're attracted to and now the girl just gotta be grateful to even have been picked and have to get to know him...
If men were more visual than women they’d care about beatifying themselves and their homes etc don’t let ppl fool you men will sleep with anything, they care about what a woman can do for them whether that’s looking after them, have their children or for their reputation they are more driven to make choice based on service and honour a woman can provide not looks, she can be very average, divorced, has children etc it’s not important
This!!! I always think about and it's better not get married to a you aren't attracted to than to get the angels curse you.
@@s_f5914 because men think they own woman
@@fadilabsadiq3539 that hadith is false by the way...
atleast check your facts people. You really think God would let the angels curse you if you were tired and didn't want to have sex? That wouldn't be fair الله حرم الضلم على نفسه.
6:15 so real finally seeing Muslim women speaking about it I can’t nd that’s one of the reasons why I’m single I literally can’t be with someone I’m not attracted to I tried but it doesn’t work we gotta let women have their own preferences when it comes to physical attraction
It’s not about him being so handsome or whatever no just I have to be attracted to that man that’s it
Tell me about it. My mom tried to give my number to her friend’s son so I asked for a picture to see what he looks like before I agree. How is she calling me shallow for caring about looks 😂
this is why it is important to seek knowledge on our deen. attraction is an important matter in islam, and it is a valid reason for to reject someone for it. as attraction can influence a lot of things, and not being attracted to ur spouse can effect ur marriage in a negative way. so while choosing a husband or wife, consider also if u feel attracted to them or not.
I've been going through anxiety because of society pressure of getting married but after listening to this something eased. Thanks sister 🤲
Marriages don't work nowadays!
its not society sweet heart. let me be honest. its called biology
Alhamdulilah I am so glad I could help! You got this my love keep going! 💕
Alhamdulilah I am so glad I could help! You got this my love keep going! 💕
Don't confuse your Biology and society. Life is not Linear like the Sister said in the Video. Build your Life, choose wisely not according to your friends choices and preferences but according to what you want. Because at the end of the day, you are alone with the person Not your friends. Most important thing, Social Media is not real Life !!!! Do everything in your Power and leave the rest to God !!!! if you follow everything you see, you will go nowhere !!!
I am married at 21 my husband is 27, to expect that the other partner has to be this has to know how to communicate is unrealistic if you yourself can’t do those things. Sometimes it’s best to learn together and grow together and SubhanAllah that love you build doing that is priceless. Some women have too high expectations when the real world functions a bit differently.
It’s not a high expectation to want a husband who knows how to communicate. Also, communication is not an unrealistic expectation in a partner. If you chose to marry a man who didn’t know how to communicate and was willing to stick with him while he learned then I admire your sabr but I don’t think you should advise women to lower a very minimal standard.
@@MK-sh2qm👏🏽👏🏽
Agreed you get it. Nothing is better then growing and learning together. Dont listen to ppl here do what works for you.
U don't qualify to talk about marriage in Islam.... U exhibiting ignorance.... Leave Islamic issues for the scholars.... U feminist big mouth...
omd, so real girly! Especially, the part about being attracted to your future husband. I feel as a girl, I just have to accept any nice guy even tho I am not one bit attracted to him :-(
No no nooooo, why do people think like this 😢
Don't
Then you also need to say that you want a thug. But you always talk about having a lapdog that does everything you want.
@@MrOsmanu get away from here, nobody needs your nonsense comment. My God, men always bringing their personal stuff into people's comments. pathetic.
@@MrOsmanu I wonder who hurt you... Are you perhaps ugly? lol
Jemila when I tell you I’m obsessed with your UA-cam channel. I can see a reflection of myself in you & the potential we have to thrive as Black Muslim women when we are honest with ourselves & center our beautiful faith. Love you fisabilillah habitbi, keep being amazing!
I’ll be honest- I was skeptical when I saw this video on my feed (you know since the marriage topic is oversaturated like you mentioned) but this video is bars 💯 you’re wise. And girl the attraction- we women always have our lack of attraction to a potential dismissed in a way that would *never* be the case with a man
Hahah I feel that! Thank you for watching the video and for your kind words my love! 💕
Most friends tell me to not get married because the guy usually doesnt help them at home allthough he promised it to them before getting married, even when both are working full-time
Put the agreement in your marriage contract. If he breaks it you can easily divorce him if he won’t change his behaviour.
You're friends are right!
Then she has to stop working and ask him to spend on her. Easy. Don't do extra and ask for more.
@@Jahannam.BS. They are not right. They simply can stop working and stay at home and ask their husbands to take full responsibility
@@ahmedmohammed5350 So a woman has to completely give up her career and financial independence because her husband can't do household chores? I call BS on that.
Even if the husband was the only provider, he should still do household chores, because it's his house too. Women are not slaves to their husbands.
She speaks facts mashallah! As a couples counselor, I concur these things are very important.
New revert here. Loved how you articulated yourself and you gave me so much to think about. I’ll gladly subscribe. Thank you for this message. Alhamdulillah
Thank you so much my love! 🫶🏽
What a spitfire, so true 😂. The one about potential is something I need to work on coming out of my previous relationship, and being a better partner to myself instead of prioritises someone else and their life goals in the hopes that they will respond in kind. I could totally see myself being friends with Jemila, what a great video. I also agree with the point about attraction, I would be happy with 5ft9 since I'm 5ft4, and the beard is a whole thing!
Sis you dropping gems I tell people these things all the time being marriage looks perfect but it’s not it’s work and you definitely have to make sure your picking the right spouse and I tell my girls to make istikhara for it and your challenges won’t completely change because of marriage!
Marriage feels like a jail sentence 💀
Its half of deen for a reason 😊
@@authoisaifyhalf of Deen is jail?😅
@@authoisaify marriage is not affordable now days, but Muslims with wealth should definitely get married
@@ajax1472 People can get married even if they are not ascetic with money, because in the religion of Islam we are taught that we should not be tempted by the world, that we can live in it without expensive things or bragging about things that we do not have.
@@M.SA93 yes it is true, unfortunately in our modern times without money you can't even afford rent plus you have no time for family because work is too much, and no woman is interested in a man who does wage slaving
Very well spoken sister, very articulate and clear. Girls listen to her advice all of it is true.
نصيحة جميلة اتمنى ان يرزقنا الله ازواجا صالحين
mA can't help but notice how crisp the quality of your video is! You are flawless
I've come across a fair share of advice vids like these - but this one really clicked with me for some reason. Thank you! You stated everything so concisely! Saving this vid for future reference :)
MsA, you’re very articulate, wise, and to the POINT 👏🏽 Keep it up!
MsA??? just say MaashAllah 😭
GIRL I LOVE YOUR VIBE SOOO MUCHH! TAKE LOVE💞💞
I was affected by ATTRACTION because it was made trivial to me. IT IS IMPORTANT VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT. As a woman you should look at him and be absolutely attracted to him physically then emotionally as well.
A message everyone in the Ummah needs to hear
Nope
@@ahmedmohammed5350 what's wrong?
The bonus truth got me XD. You have a good sense of humour !! I was recommended this video by the algorithm and I'm so glad I watched it. It was like getting useful life advices from an elder sister. I hope you get all the success and happiness that you deserve :)
Thank you so much my love! I am so glad you are here 💕
You ate this video up Allahumma Baarik
Gurl there is no harshness in this. This is the blunt truth.
Love your advice once again :) many people need to hear your point of view.
Ma’Sha’Allah great video with great points
This is just super nice and relatable!!!. I will save this. I especially agree with communication and hobby part. The family part would be my biggest concern as my family is not the most tightly knit type and I think it does not totally make or break the marriage but it can strain it. Thanks for sharing these!!!!. Barallahu fih!.
Thank you sister subhannallah i needed to hear that! Keep going you're amazing
I have been married before and this is great advice. You do not need to be married to have a great perspective. well done on your research.
Peace loyalty and respect is highly needed in a marriage
This is actually an amazing video & kind of different from other marriage talks.
Yazzakallahukheir sister! What an informative video. Straight forward to the important points. May Allah reward you for your efforts wirh mercy!
This is so good, everyone should watch this ❗️
This was very educational, may Allah bless you with a beautiful spouse 🤲🤲
I am not muslim but i love the fact that the Sister is speaking some Facts here. !!!
I am a Man and i always told my Sisters to look for the Man inside the Man. It is better to learn from advices than to learn from consequences.
Yes I Agree to what you said in 4:27 in this video 100% Trust your intuition and leave everything to Allah things will work out inshallah.
I'm a christian and I enjoyed this😊 ... this was full of wisdom ❤
Just found your account and loving the videos! Almost feels like I’m having a one-on-one with a BFF. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
May God bless you. This is the first video I watch of yours and it summarizes all I’ve been thinking about in one nice video 🤍
Insightful stuff! Truly enjoyed this video sister Mashallah!
Every point was absolutely perfect. I hope a lot of people will internalize these points before getting married.
Well it depends on where the woman lives, is that not true?
Amazing advice ❤❤ love the watermelon plushy 🍉
🍉 All day everyday!
I love the video, it was very eye opening, keep it up girlie, excited or your new videos
Wow! I really loved this video Jemila! Mashallah!
Love ur energy❤
I Agree nowadays there are some people who are concerned about the dress of their wedding the venue, what type of makeup. Getting a wedding dress worth much more just for one day. It's important to focus on the marriage part . As in the end of the day people will move on with their daily lives after the wedding day is done .
This is amazing ❤❤❤
Rule:1 Both parties should fear Allah (SWT) should’ve been the first one
When our prophet PBUH married Khadijah radiallahu anhumaa she was the wealthy one
Where can you find women like that now
@@mayg7415 there's plenty of wealthy woman they just dont show it oe they might not be in your area
@@mayg7415 why the hell would u want a rich woman my guy
@@azishai5419 that's my point, you can hardly even find one not to talk of marrying
your videos are so amazing Allahuma’barik🫶🏻 may Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى reward you for helping sisters out
Ameen my love may Allah do that for all of us!
I like the bonus point sis, am with you there 😂😂😂
Love your videos girlie
I love your energy and good vibes, May Allah swt bless you
OMG YESSS I needed oxygen today!!! 😊❤
You’re beautiful sister. Both in the way you talk and the way you look 💓
Omg there's no way I come across this & not follow. You're just super cool & spicy. Jjst what I needed.
Sis u speaking factssss❤❤❤❤
Love your transparency❤❤
THIS IS SOOOOO ON POINT👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Who think that marriage is to fill up your life , i would say that it can be other ways too
You have to lost something too
You have to dedicate too
You have to accpet the change of your couple when getting older
Marriage is not easy for me
I pray for more strength for you❣️❣️
Attraction is important 🤣🧡. We're supposed to be the coolness of each others eyes
Love your sense of humour lol ❤😄.. Ma shaa Allah.. great content
Having someone who isn’t married talk about “marriage truths” is just wild! You should be listening to these kind of videos, not making them.
watching this to cement my delusions 🙂↕️
Really helpful advice thank you sister 😍🤲🏼
A gem of a video
Assalamualaikum.... Jemila. Thanks a million for the thoughtful marriage admonition..... Jazakallahu Khairan
How about stop being so obsessed with marriage? It's not the end all and be all of life, a lot of humans regardless of religion need to stop being so Disney brained
Woow we have same name Jamila ❤ happy to see you dear
Very wise words!
Thank you ❤️
Beautiful video❤❤❤
Becarful when it comes to marriage!
Alhamdullilah.🎉 found this channel. I automatically subscribed.❤
7:05 how i can work on my communication? Like what should i do?
I was looking for a vid like this for ages
coping mechanisms is sooo important but idk how to find this out. and i dont mean drinking and smoking i mean their behaviour etc.
I'm 38 and you schooled me
This video was well done.
Filled with a lot of wit ✨️✨️
Your 11th point was funny 😅. I just discovered your channel and subscribed
My daughter name is jamila too … you’re queen of your parents
My cat got startled and woke up at the alalalaalaa at the end😂
Very inspiring and great advices 🎉
Honestly shes not making sense. Waiting does not mean u get the best husband or wife. People usually pray for u to get married not because they want to put pressure on u but to remind u. There are soo many Muslim girls who have boyfriends and never speak about marriage with them .they are just enjoying the moment until its too late .
Girl don’t get a boyfriend. This woman made so much sense, you’re just not hearing it. She also didn’t say not to marry young but not everyone will do it nor will it be good for everyone
Attraction 💯
But why dont I hear any reference to Qur’an, Hadith or Islamic tradition. Why I don't hear the main purpose of marriage, and what roles are we supposed to fulfill?
Because this generation of women do not prioritise the deen. They feel that will grow over time and put attraction and career first. Women are petty. That’s why there are a lot of women still unmarried late 20s even mid to late 30s, and they’re still petty after that
Very wise, real words.
10:43 so true and coping mechanisms that aren't great don't all have to be haram. There are guys I know who are gamers who rather spend time with the an xbox than their wives and turn around and say that they aren't doing anything wrong.
I agree with every single thing u just said 👏👏👏
Not me saying audhubillah when someone says that I should get married now 😢 and also if you ever look at someone who is interested in you and you think 'ugly' leave them alone
Real speech ❤🎉
hi darling, bye darling... love the energy
Ok! I am exiting this class. I already made a difficult decision 😢😢.