What the Stoics Can Teach Us About Masculinity

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  • Опубліковано 17 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 239

  • @Mdykstra769
    @Mdykstra769 Місяць тому +88

    I spent a week in the woods without words or electronics after my last divorce. Lost 99% of my belongings.. my frame... None of my self worth. Grounded and recharged with vigor for life with clearer vision. Dusting myself off and ME3.0 is amazing.
    Thank you John as always for your insight. I love Ryan Holidays information about the stoics!

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  Місяць тому +5

      I watched some of his stuff too. He’s a good representative of stoicism.

    • @andre1987eph
      @andre1987eph Місяць тому +5

      "Last divorce ' sounds like there was more than one ?

    • @JHavaJoe2-m1z
      @JHavaJoe2-m1z Місяць тому +5

      You simply cannot beat Nature for healing, along with some solitude to get your bearings.

    • @pauldeal547
      @pauldeal547 Місяць тому +2

      @@andre1987eph your point?

    • @Mdykstra769
      @Mdykstra769 Місяць тому

      @@andre1987eph just finished my 3rd .. clarity was a year ago and pursued a quality life over convenient wife.

  • @quentinshimek367
    @quentinshimek367 Місяць тому +61

    My favorite Marcus Aurelius quote is, "Death smiles upon us all, and all a man can do is smile back. "

  • @mars56100
    @mars56100 Місяць тому +33

    I witnessed healthy masculinity when I was raised by my father. He hung in there with some tough times and he confided in me as a child. I was fortunate to witness what a man is and should be.

    • @plasmaarmelund
      @plasmaarmelund Місяць тому +1

      Did you dad get divorced?

    •  29 днів тому

      Congrats bro 🤝🏻💪🏻

  • @johnpreskar9006
    @johnpreskar9006 Місяць тому +33

    Great video, as usual. I’ve spent most of my life single, pursuing goals to be a better man. I was engaged
    Twice, married once. After all that, I’ve learned it’s better to be alone. Peace. Quiet + freedom are a at a premium for me. I have many female friends, get along with them, it would never be in relationship with them. A friend told me many years ago,” all women are few crazy, you must decide how much you want to put up with”. Naaa, not worth for me today. Coming from a 60 year guy. Young guys , learn as mush as you can, be happy -+ be the best you can be!!!

    • @gehanoates885
      @gehanoates885 Місяць тому +4

      Well said my friend

    • @ryandgarland
      @ryandgarland Місяць тому +1

      Living with them is the worst...they never shut up! 😅.

    • @EightFrancs
      @EightFrancs 28 днів тому +1

      ​@@ryandgarlandEVER.
      It's insane.

  • @suefleming
    @suefleming Місяць тому +58

    I love the stoics.
    I think the legal system is slanted against men.
    I think women's overspending drives the economy.
    Don't let anyone walk on you though.
    If I were a man I would avoid women.
    I think you are very smart to put your love and loyalty in dogs. ❤👍🏼🙏🏼

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  Місяць тому +5

      Great insights

    • @Scorned405
      @Scorned405 Місяць тому

      The legal system is totally rigged in favor of women

  • @wilwad
    @wilwad Місяць тому +23

    "Men want approval from women" that was deep and life changing for me

    • @dr.vonslifeinvesting6485
      @dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 Місяць тому +5

      That they didn’t get from their mother. That’s why we need to transcend that and put our creator first in our lives not any external validation.

  • @ackbuilder8262
    @ackbuilder8262 Місяць тому +18

    “Men express empathy through problem solving“ - hit me. I have been accused of not acting responsive to women’s issues in talkative way. Instead I always offer solution, help, certain action to remedy a situation. But it’s never good enough. Women want to talk for hours about it first, and then they look for specific offers and help from you. It’s just exhausting.

    • @douglassreid3599
      @douglassreid3599 Місяць тому +3

      Women don't want solutions unless they ask for advice. They like to talk to find their own solutions. Men can show empathy by listening. Women like to be heard and understood

    • @iivarilappalainen9836
      @iivarilappalainen9836 20 днів тому

      Very rarely women actually want to have proper solutions and guidance. I used to have some pretty good female friends in the past but frankly i lost it eventually as they had some very, very deep issues that were glaringly obvious and they wanted to whine and complain about these issues all the time ...but never actually wanted to solve them. They wold indeed get very much offended when i gave them good advice - because solving their issues would have required self-introspection, honesty about their own actions and owning the consequences. ...thats not something they wanted. "Solution has to be something else".
      What was even more sad was when i at some point i realized that their own long-time female friends who knew them had also sort of normalized and ok'd that behavior for them. ...i mean id take good care of my friends, how could someone think being a burning dumpsterfire and repeating the same action leading to it are somehow "oh she's always been like that, its fineeee" - what nice friends.
      Had to let those stones go for and havent regretted it. ..very good life experience for the young me in the hindsight though.

    • @iivarilappalainen9836
      @iivarilappalainen9836 20 днів тому

      @@douglassreid3599 quite often "asking for advice" is synonym for "please agree with what i have already in my mind" though. ...got rather aggressive feedback several times in the past when i was asked advice for, but the solution wasnt what they wanted.

  • @Dee-s6s
    @Dee-s6s Місяць тому +22

    Im a 62 year old man with many female friends , and I asked them straight up.
    What do women really want? All answered the same. They have no idea, this is why they collect and then discard which they don't.

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  Місяць тому +7

      That has been my experience too. It’s like when a woman asks us what we’re thinking about and we’re just staring off into space and we tell them nothing. They don’t believe it.

    • @ryandgarland
      @ryandgarland Місяць тому +8

      All Women want two things.
      1.) something more
      2.) something else.
      😂

    • @pvc25
      @pvc25 Місяць тому +8

      As the wheels were coming off with my ex-wife I asked her once (bluntly) "what do you want".
      We had been on a vacation with other families who were part of the local circle. It happened after drinking and playing cards late into the night before parting to go back to our cabins.
      We were alone in our room when I asked. Any attempt to connect with her on my part had failed, with her default passive aggression flowing into frank aggression as she loosened up. It was after a failed attempt to connect with her through physical intimacy - rebuffed as was her favourite method - not by saying no, but by making any interaction so incompatible as to put a couple of 14 year olds to shame. She favoured trying to physically dominate in response to affection - 'mid level violence' I think is the technical term, presumably hoping to provoke a greater physical reaction from me (a drunken, I'll show her who's stronger here) that she could then use to bury me personally and professionally. A neat technique to make me feel utterly inadequate as a man, rejected but not explicitly so, and done with plausible deniability that the failing was all mine.
      So in that context I asked her. Her response was one of the handful of zingers she said that will stick with me forever. Burning with hate in her eyes she looked straight at me with contempt and replied "everything".
      I saw clearly there her voracious hate, wanting only to consume and destroy me. If I was to find any positive with hindsight, I believe she was at least in that moment being honest.
      Now that is just one woman, and yes I picked her, so the failing is ultimately mine. But, that experience was a great lesson about the shadow side of femininity.
      Asymmetric risk due to the social and legal framework of modern marriage and relationships makes it challenging to respond to this in a way that might result in any good outcome.
      I still remember how horrified I was in that moment, truly. I said nothing, stepped away physically, and slept beside her having nowhere else to go. In the morning we pretended nothing had happened. What a farce.

    • @TherealMotopsycho
      @TherealMotopsycho Місяць тому

      ​@@ryandgarlandyeah visual and auditory contrast is their demise. They're all magpies drawn to the shiniest lure.
      Sad AF

  • @DUNEATV
    @DUNEATV Місяць тому +9

    John, I wanted to tell you something. Just in case you haven’t realized it yet you are a “UA-camr” and a very good one. I am frequently drawn to people who are starting channels as I have done in the past, but mine failed. You however, have a gift and if you haven’t already dive completely into this. I believe you found your new role in life. 🙏

  • @howardbarrett9131
    @howardbarrett9131 Місяць тому +18

    Women are part of the battlefield of life. God made them for a reason. Just one more challenge. Nothing is easy, makes us stronger. But we can't let a society gone insane destroy us. Still, we are in the final stages of decline.

  • @samuell4775
    @samuell4775 Місяць тому +16

    Step number one in the journey to Stoicism: get rid of the television.

  • @fudogwhisperer3590
    @fudogwhisperer3590 Місяць тому +11

    I fight enough battles out in the world to turn around and fight a battle at home. Our grandfathers never did this. The women back then were worthy of a mans commitment because to the peace and family she brought. Now women don't bring peace and they break up family's and the influence a man can have on his progeny. Its just not worth it.

    • @davel7014
      @davel7014 28 днів тому +1

      Today's women bring the opposite of peace and family

  • @fearless7424
    @fearless7424 Місяць тому +7

    Life goes by so fast I am 60 married once. I have 3 kids and I have been divorced for 6 months now and it just gets better as time goes on. Thank you for your advice on changing your self. Great video.✌🏽

  • @mikejames9642
    @mikejames9642 Місяць тому +13

    Conclusion: stay single, or spend the rest of your life pretending to be engaged in meaningless conversations with the benefit of occasional married people sex and having someone to eat dinner while pretending to be engaged in more meaningless conversations.
    Understand if you choose the latter, your wife will quickly tell you that she is disinterested in what you choose to talk about but you MUST be interested in what she chooses to talk about.
    Stay single.

    • @melenico4512
      @melenico4512 Місяць тому +1

      What a deal 😂

    • @TherealMotopsycho
      @TherealMotopsycho Місяць тому +1

      ​@@melenico4512an amazing deal 🤝😁 😂🎉

    • @JoshuaMoreno-dv6ek
      @JoshuaMoreno-dv6ek 3 дні тому

      I would rather eat alone than with a woman, plus I eat really fast. I would get a lecture from a woman.

  • @tides_of_truth4245
    @tides_of_truth4245 Місяць тому +11

    We aren’t even allowed to have men’s clubs any longer. We need to bring the right of free association back, and have exclusively men’s spaces again, where we can support each other and learn from each other. We also have a right and duty to advocate for men and boy’s welfare, and policies.

    • @davel7014
      @davel7014 28 днів тому +2

      Agreed. We need to just do it and to hell with what feminists think about it

  • @weightysubjects
    @weightysubjects Місяць тому +15

    Stoicism is a great philosophy. Self reflection is absolutely necessary in life. 100% agree that mentoring the next generation is vital. I share with my son and his friends the lessons I've learned. Frankly, I share knowledge with all males I encounter, many of whom are moving from blue billed to red.

    • @gehanoates885
      @gehanoates885 Місяць тому +1

      That's it. Share all your knowledge with all the men you encounter.
      Young guys don't understand female nature

  • @COSkywatch
    @COSkywatch Місяць тому +14

    It only takes ONE and the right ONE to make you have a nice life. I lost that person after 26 years as she died way too young but after hearing so many stories of men that have had bad relationships, it makes me so happy that I had found a good one. I believe it can happen again although the dating landscape has changed dramatically since 1990s. Social media and dating apps have really made it so hard for men. You are so right on how so many men have morphed into relinquishing who they really are. Great talk as always.

    • @plasmaarmelund
      @plasmaarmelund Місяць тому +1

      It takes one in a million to find the right one.
      There's a high chance that you'll marry the wrong one, even if she APPEARS to be the right one in the beginning. Wom3n change due to variety of reasons, e.g. hormonal changes, mental illness, reading "Eat, Prey, Love", the sisterhood, social media, etc. When not even Tom Brady can have a successful marriage, what chance does the average guy have?

    • @COSkywatch
      @COSkywatch Місяць тому

      @@plasmaarmelund I am pretty average and I did.

  • @BlakesPipes
    @BlakesPipes Місяць тому +8

    I think I am still processing how I lost the battle, but love I won the war. Found peace and happiness. I learnt that I am a pretty coll guy and don't need validation, other then myself. I see so many women want to attack to engage me in a battle for them to take. I chose to retain my ground and live in peace.

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  Місяць тому +1

      That’s a really great insight. Lose the battle, but win the war.

  • @nigelransome1695
    @nigelransome1695 Місяць тому +4

    I totally get this, I'm in my third marriage and so frustrated trying to understand how illogical women are, your ability to put things into words clarifies it for me, now at 66 I'm seriously thinking about ditching women for good as I've learnt I'll never understand them.
    Great posts.

    • @EE12CSVT
      @EE12CSVT 26 днів тому

      I understand women very well. I know exactly the act I have to put on in order to date, but it makes me physically sick to do so. Instead, I'm my masculine self, which is repulsive to them.

  • @111havok
    @111havok Місяць тому +9

    One of your best videos for sure! ... It made me think and realize that I need to stop letting the past decide my future/present. I've had 2 loves in my life and both cheated; in some way, shape or form. I realized that I'm thinking all girls do that, but they don't. I need to believe that there are some girls out there that don't cheat. Now, this is not a new thought. You just reminded me that I need to remember this and not let it hold me back from "leaving the door open" to "maybe" having a girlfriend again. I'm still going to be cautious. Always. P.S. I don't like using the word "Woman" it always seems like a masculine way to describe a female, "Girl" sounds, much more attractive to me and what I want; feminine, youthful, and nice. That's just me.

  • @RG-cz1tc
    @RG-cz1tc Місяць тому +7

    While I never married, I learned more about myself from each relationship. None of them ended acrimoniously, I just disengaged as I learned more. Like a rabbit, when I sensed danger, I was gone. I definitely ignored early signals to try to keep a thing going, probably due to "hormones", but in the end, those early signals became alarm bells. So I agree that young men should try, but not ignore those alarm bells. Hormones want to override your warnings, we want to fool ourselves, and for many that leads to a bad marriage and divorce, nobody's perfect. I am neither proud not regretful that I did not marry, but I know that the women that I dropped would want to marry and become my boss, and even with that group, I was extremely selective in asking women for a date, I narrowed the pool, but really it may be simply a form of luck and fate. You might meet the right one in high school, it's a crap shoot.

  • @ronbronb
    @ronbronb Місяць тому +11

    I am younger than you, but old enough to have experienced relationships with women and while it made me better, it was the best lesson for not having relationships, so, i cant recommend it to young men, but i understand the urge to try it at least once.
    Its a bit like a near death experience, its one of the most elated sensations, but not recommended and not worth the risk.
    Also, today's women are mostly evil, unattractive and dangerous, so, i dont even see the likely benefits from a successful relationship. In past generations there was a 50/50 chance, now it seems like a lose lose.
    Its all in one's mind is one of the best realizations one can have and women's image is a mans objective projection of it, ask yourselves what part of that image is your own wishful thinking. I say most is.

  • @WeeklyHealthShow
    @WeeklyHealthShow Місяць тому +19

    Stoicism is a great world view!

  • @vasilisgkerats
    @vasilisgkerats Місяць тому +12

    Stay single guys! No marriage for us! The Juice not worth the squeeze!
    Bill, 26 years old.

  • @SeanC1959
    @SeanC1959 Місяць тому +6

    John, as a sub to your channel, I have to say that your point about having a woman in your life may help to reboot your masculinity, does have some agency. I get it, however at 65 years of age, no kids, retired and already living a peaceful life, I would not even consider having another relationship. The juice just isn't worth the squeeze - for me. I know this from personal experience. I'll stick with what you say in your closing statement "...... if you can, stay single" Thank you for your insight.

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  Місяць тому +3

      I don’t think we who have already served need to return to the field of battle.

    • @SeanC1959
      @SeanC1959 Місяць тому +1

      @@john-griffin Very true John. I've got a few purple hearts from my battles. We both do...💜💜💜

  • @konradnriker
    @konradnriker Місяць тому +6

    In the matrix, we rely on marriage (one flesh, until death does part), and civil rights (equality under the law), but the matrix seems to be overtaken by 'smash the patriarchy' and 'abolish the family'.

  • @a.modestproposal2038
    @a.modestproposal2038 Місяць тому +3

    Pain: the gift nobody wants. Except when we go to the gym. Relationships give the same gift but are of more benefit to your most significant weaknesses. At the gym you can self-dose an optimal amount for a desired result. A relationship affords only indirect control, being whatever you learn to do with whatever pain is on offer at the time. Growing that kind of strength sets you up for everything else in life.

  • @Corolalumii
    @Corolalumii 29 днів тому +1

    "Mind creates the problems and then struggles to solve it"(Jiddhu Krishnamurti). Thank you for video.

  • @JC-gw3yo
    @JC-gw3yo Місяць тому +5

    After a divorce, my friend Dan had just enough money to buy a pie and a cup of coffee at Dennys. He then realized he didn't have a fork, so he stole a fork from dennys. He is still concerned about owing Dennys, but that woman is barely remembered. His kids all come to see him, but she is in some old folks home miserable and alone

  • @bbb8182
    @bbb8182 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you John. You have helped me sort out several "big" issues keeping be stuck. Have more to unravel.

  • @eastbay_bay
    @eastbay_bay Місяць тому +3

    Great content. I appreciate your thoughtful nature. The world needs this.

  • @DiegoB0525
    @DiegoB0525 Місяць тому +6

    @18:00
    This is what I'm trying to do with my little brother. I don't want him to go full MG.tow because I think it's good for him to learn the goods and the bads from life. In any case, I'm here to guide him in certain things.

    • @sonderman8079
      @sonderman8079 Місяць тому +1

      I am trying to do the same for my son. Not easy though.

    • @DiegoB0525
      @DiegoB0525 Місяць тому

      @sonderman8079 I know, because you want to tell them everything but you also don't want to warp their mind!
      I just hope they don't make as many mistakes as we've made.

  • @Smuggler169
    @Smuggler169 Місяць тому +2

    Another great message. Appreciate your efforts in making these videos. Earlier this year I got the book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I am still reading it.

  • @TheMingo33
    @TheMingo33 Місяць тому +2

    Great talk John!! Your videos are needed and provide direction and advice to those looking for guidance. Keep up the good work!!

  • @andrestrishak8292
    @andrestrishak8292 Місяць тому +2

    If you have to reclaim it, you never had it and never will.

  • @nomad6086
    @nomad6086 Місяць тому +5

    We're addicted to our phones & computers because of the mental stimuli it gives us. Social media has become so addictive with most people that's it's not even funny. And look at the platform UA-cam has provided. As you stroll in your relaxing woods with your dogs, you're making a video that can reach all corners of the world. I live 1500 miles away from you & I can watch your videos seeing a part of the country that I've never seen before. Before this technology, I would have never known you even existed & the only people you could reach out to would be a very small segment of people in your community. We are being integrated into a cybertronic world where we will eventually become "one" with the cyber world.
    On masculinity, it doesn't work anymore in attracting women unless you're a Chad or loaded $$$. With dating apps & social media, women have so many options these days that it's crazy. Women control the dating market. Their SMV has become so inflated because of the options & choices they have. They all have entitlement to a certain degree. And we live in a simp economy. So many lonely, desperate dudes on these dating apps & social media sites willing to say or do anything to get with these women. It's no wonder why women are so picky finding 80% of men unattractive. Lol.
    I'm a 63 yr old widowed man now going on 9 yrs (2 grown kids). I'm in great shape with a muscular, aesthetic physique working out everyday (former athlete). I'm retired & have a decent income but nothing special. I consider myself masculine but because of some flaws beyond my control (aversge-looking face, thinning hair & short), I get no interest from women. I've been rejected dozens of times by fit, attractive women in my age group that I thought we would be good matches (so much for compatibility & common interests. Lol). In fact, I get more complements on my physique & masculinity from the guys at the gym! 😄 (and I've been hit on by gay men). Attractive women in my age group are looking for old Chads or rich dudes to sweep them off their feet with a fairy tale romance. In fact, they feel entitled to it (you know the Tom Cruise/George Clooney type-looking dudes that get just about any woman they want.😉). But it's gotten even worse than that with women getting eventually bored with the man of their dreams. 44 yr Tom Brady's wife, Gisele Bundchen dumped her Chad husband for a younger Chad - her 34 yr old Jujitsu instructor! 🤣🤣🤣 This is a sad state of affairs if a NFL Chad like Brady with tons of money can't stay married & loses his wife to younger, hot guy. My God...WTF is going on with today's modern woman???

    • @EE12CSVT
      @EE12CSVT 26 днів тому +1

      We sound similar. I'm 52, 5ft 8in, powerfully built with a flat stomach and excellent muscle definition, never married, no LTR, no children. I go to the gym 5 days a week. My VO2max is Elite, I'm stronger than most men and on par with guys in their 20s. I have a full head of hair and it's now quite thick as I've been growing it out. I dress well. I'm dominant, men instantly respect me, and I can be very charming. Most of the compliments I get in the gym is from men. Much younger gay men in their 20s try to pick me up in the showers or changing rooms.
      I get interest from women, but as soon as they discover they can't control, use, or emasculate, and that I don't simp or pedestalise, and that I'm not afraid of boundaries, they run away every time. It didn't used to be like this in the 90s when I dated some very fit and beautiful women in their 20s or had them orbit me. Those masculine traits were a bonus back then and they'd come to me and shun the simps. It's now reversed.
      It's a simp economy, and women will date the guy who gives her the most free energy, attention, and time and who has no boundaries. It's why women fantasise over dating fit gay men, because they're essentially female and a woman's mind in a man's body.
      Over 30 years ago at university, a guy in my year was a copy of Dylan Mulvaney - a tall, very skinny limp lettuce. A girl I'd had a bad date with met him and it was love at first sight. They had an intense s3xual relationship and I don't remember them splitting up. He had no ounce of masculinity in him, would panic like a small girl, be Ohmygod emoshunal all the time, yet he had women around him and hooked on him. I've seen the same repeated over the decades.
      My pet theory is that women only tolerate masculinity in guys like 6ft 6in Chad Thunderstroke, or the town thug or drug dealer or comvict, or the immensely rich sugar daddy, but would prefer it if they were feminine and soy. If you're not one of those guys, you better simp and pedestalise and out simp all other guys. I used to know a Sir Simpalot, an older divorced guy, who had the masculinity of a 9 y/o boy, but had no trouble getting datws6and girlfriends and eventually married. He was alll the cringe in the universe, but women loved him for his free energy, attention and time and no expectation they should give anything back. Neither he nor his friend could understand why I was single and didn't date, and both tried to encourage me to simp and pedestalise as they did.

    • @nomad6086
      @nomad6086 25 днів тому

      @EE12CSVT I don't think we're very similar if you're getting some interest from women. Are you smashing these women or getting any kind of intimacy with them? Because if you are, then you win by getting some kind of physical interaction before they run off became you won't simp for them. I'm far worse off than you because I don't get ANY interest from women period (maybe an occasional obese woman might hit on me once in awhile. The last one was at a Walmart where a 300+ pounder in one of scooters ambushed me in produce dept & said I looked "sexy" & wanted to exchange numbers. 😆).
      As I said before, I get nothing on dating sites. Since, as I mentioned previously, I'm in great shape for my age (63) with a muscular, aesthetic physique (5'6" 175 lbs) & decent hair (some thinning & graying), I figured I could match with other fit, athletic women in my age group (you know, believing this would be based on compatibility & logic). Yeah right, these women aren't interested in me simply because I'm not a tall, handsome, rich older guy (i.e. an "old Chad"). I'm a manlet at 5'6", with only an average-looking face for my age (saggy neck skin, droopy earlobes, eye bags, Lol (I definitely don't come close to looking like a Tom Cruise or George Clooney. Lol). Though I own a fairly nice home, have a decent ride, & a decent retirement (pays the bills), it's not enough in the eyes of these older women. They want a guy that's loaded! (Money is the universal language with women). And I simply don't have the money for a hair transplant or cosmetic surgery. 😕
      It's really frustrating as hell - and I haven't been with woman in the 9 yrs that I've been widowed! 😣 (I was happily married for 19 yrs - 2 kids). Things are so bad in my sad life, that's why I'm *black pill* & have stopped pursuing women (I'm only going to stay on the dating sites if they're free). And if you really want to see how f'd up things are with the "modern day woman" go to the "Dating Delusions" channel. There you'll see hundreds of dating profiles & Tiktok videos of middle-aged & senior gals all taking about how they are entitled to a tall, handsome, in-shape rich dude ("Chad") to sweep them off their feet with a fairly tall romance. 🤣 I say again: WTF is going on with today's middle-aged/senior woman?!?

  • @TheMensHighway
    @TheMensHighway Місяць тому +2

    These are the videos I like John, You've got a gift for this type.
    Also, Im learning some things about editing my own videos from watching yours.
    Was wondering what hand help camera your using? The colour is great.

  • @ninjatemper8797
    @ninjatemper8797 Місяць тому +4

    Courage and bravery without reason have been the early end of many men. Do not feed yourself into the meat grinder that is family law in the Western world. Weigh your options carefully and keep in mind that some wars aren't worth fighting.

  • @kickinkanga7026
    @kickinkanga7026 Місяць тому +1

    Always enjoy your videos john
    Very balanced.
    The man who says he can and the man that says he can't are the same man.

  • @truthanddemocracycoalition
    @truthanddemocracycoalition Місяць тому +1

    it's important to deal with your issues and not live in denial. Sometimes that requires processing feelings from past abuse and trauma.

  • @panda59043
    @panda59043 13 днів тому +1

    this talk was inspirational - well done sir.

  • @eric_linden
    @eric_linden Місяць тому +10

    MGTOW is not the answer, especially when you are young. We need relationships to grow as men.
    If you’re older and you’ve been through it already, that is different.
    If you’re young, be open to the idea. That doesn’t mean you have to be actively seeking. Just never say never.

    • @brianjoseph8982
      @brianjoseph8982 Місяць тому +13

      Why make your own mistakes when you can learn from others

    • @eric_linden
      @eric_linden Місяць тому +2

      @ Definitely learn from others all you can. But you need to experience some things to understand fully.

    • @andre1987eph
      @andre1987eph Місяць тому +4

      I agree. I had girlfriends from age 18 to 28 I wouldn't go back and change. But from age 30 onward, men should focus on career, purpose and retirement. Not romantic relationships.

    • @masterblaster1502
      @masterblaster1502 Місяць тому +1

      Western "marriage" is a humiliation ritual for men. Enter a contract on your knees that removes your legal, parental and financial rights and makes you a de facto slav3?
      Untenable and absurd concept for men today.
      Mhig tow does not mean zero contact or relationships, it means maintaining your sovereignty, something knee-takers have forfeited.

    • @masterblaster1502
      @masterblaster1502 Місяць тому +1

      Comment deleted because soy tube cannot allow any message counter to the narrative of being a knee-taker. M h i g t o w simply means maintaining your sovereignty, without adhering to the betaization of western "marriage" that NPCs push.

  • @deportedsouls3165
    @deportedsouls3165 Місяць тому +2

    You absolutely DON'T need a woman to improve and become a better version of yourself! You just need to decide to do it! Look at your life as a chair, you need to keep the legs if it, steady and well taken cared of. One leg is finance, another is fitness, a third relationships (can be ftiends, family or whatever) a fourth can be intellectual stimuli. (Challenge etc). NEVER let more than one or two legs be impacted at the same time, on two you can still keep your balance.

  • @etebol
    @etebol Місяць тому +5

    I do like stoicism, I practice it. But whenever someone brings up Marcus Aurelius I can’t help to think about his son Commodus; and why did such a wise man such as Marcus A failed to raise him in a good way so he wouldn’t turn out to be a despot narcissist. Is really baffling.

  • @1ajdelacruz
    @1ajdelacruz Місяць тому +1

    Great video! Thanks John! I love the tenor that masculinity can be or must be reclaimed and really the recent election result has reaffirmed this sentiment. It maybe more widespread. This video reminds me of the main protagonist in the movie "Gladiator" (2000). General Maximus (Russell Crowe) aspired and lived for everything that you cover here and more. His character was a mix of all the archetypal males but I think what appealed to me was that he was a great warrior who wanted the best for those around him. It was what gave his life meaning. I took up martial arts and stopped drinking alcohol because of this character. And so funny too as General Maximus's boss was no other than the great Stoic Emperor Marcus Aurelius!

  • @ttocselbag5054
    @ttocselbag5054 Місяць тому +5

    Seneca, Epictetus,Marcus Aurelius: my all time fave stoic philosophers. 👊💪

    • @melenico4512
      @melenico4512 Місяць тому +1

      Stocism does have many good teachings.

  • @PhoenixwayNet
    @PhoenixwayNet 29 днів тому

    This one really hit home. My wife and I are considering divorce. Last night she said to me I give you your freedom to move on. After thinking about it a moment I replied to her didn't we both already have our freedom all along? She replied no we have had attachment and obligation. I disagreed in my mind but as a stoic I did not say it. I realized it did not need to be said. As a man I can just disagree and do what I think is right. I am free if i believe i am. She can choose to think how she wants to think. Freedom begins in the mind.

  • @PhoenixwayNet
    @PhoenixwayNet 29 днів тому +1

    One of your best... Much more valuable than the rants!

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  29 днів тому +1

      Thanks I wish these videos performed better than the rats. The little AI rant I put up on Sunday is one of my best performing videos. And although it was funny, not very thoughtful. I’m glad that I have an audience for this kind of content because this is the stuff I was looking for.

  • @ruchi_bonazzi
    @ruchi_bonazzi 29 днів тому

    Thank you John. There is endless value in things that you are passing onto us. Please keep doing what you're doing

  • @michaelgarrow3239
    @michaelgarrow3239 Місяць тому +3

    I just found this feed.
    Great outlook.
    I’m on a quest from God! 😎

  • @Tyler-wl8kq
    @Tyler-wl8kq Місяць тому +3

    Love this message, great uplifting puts in perspective

  • @JoeStrummer-b3g
    @JoeStrummer-b3g 12 днів тому

    On the comment that we don’t try to change women, as men abandoned masculinity it was the run permit signal for women to change, as we reclaim masculinity in a healthy way for society, there will also be a change in women as a result.

  • @shawn2350
    @shawn2350 Місяць тому +2

    A man at any age needs to know themselves first. Knowing in my eyes is to respect yourself and second to that is honoring your choices inside your decisions in finding self respect. A man will make good and bad decisions in their life but you will not learn from choices without them. Example: I saw red flags before getting married while dating. I chose at one time to break up the relationship but I was told there was a misunderstanding and decided to get past it. Her not showing up and calling was the issue and there other small things too. When looking back now and adding those issues up the math became confusing, there wasn't a formula in my eyes I could use. That is until I could see the lies, deceit and infidelity. I respected myself enough to bring up issues in the 15 yr marriage but did not honor my self respect enough to stop from marrying her. In the end honor yourself, nobody is perfect. Make sure to honor yourself first before considering marriage. Best of luck.

  • @mrtjdix6661
    @mrtjdix6661 29 днів тому

    Being inward focused deepens the field of conscious awareness; whereas a predominant outward focus of attention yields a mere superficial mindset.

  • @stevenwalker4793
    @stevenwalker4793 Місяць тому +1

    This was a great lesson you shared with us, my friend. I really enjoyed your insight as we attempt to regain our position as strong and intelligent men in today's society. Thank you brother..

  • @GMDOCNICE
    @GMDOCNICE Місяць тому +7

    John must of got his apple bags drained before he made this video. Sheesh.

    • @55tmilam
      @55tmilam Місяць тому +5

      Yeah!!!! Every now and then he will make a statement and I’ll be like WTF!!!!!!!

  • @Savvynomad225
    @Savvynomad225 Місяць тому +1

    The initial quote from Aurelius during this video is the formula to endure on the current battlefield. Talk to yourself with respect, value your own opinions of yourself over all other opinions.

  • @rrrobeltnest7295
    @rrrobeltnest7295 Місяць тому +4

    Since my divorce, few women have been in my life, complete feminist, emasculating people that no matter how stoic you be with them, I had to move on total emasculating women-their a lost cause..

    • @EE12CSVT
      @EE12CSVT 26 днів тому

      That's every woman under 70 or so in a marriage/LTR, with only two or three exceptions. If women can't control, use or emasculate, the guy is no use to her. Stoicism means nothing and she'll just shrug her shoulders and move on to an easier mark.

  • @Wolf-tf6iu
    @Wolf-tf6iu Місяць тому +9

    Hi from Morocco

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  Місяць тому +1

      Thanks for coming to the channel! I hope you enjoy the video

  • @dannysimonknows
    @dannysimonknows 28 днів тому

    Solid point that becoming a better man (person) requires relationships and that by having a strong relationship with a woman you become a better man

  • @shirleygriffin7672
    @shirleygriffin7672 Місяць тому +3

    Good morning. Thanks for sharing today......... headed to my 🤺 fencing class

  • @monicaspector2388
    @monicaspector2388 Місяць тому +2

    Shelby & Jax! Love your beautiful dogs! 🥰

  • @clays1507
    @clays1507 Місяць тому +2

    “The fault lies not in the stars… but in ourselves” Shakespeare
    Also Felix from the Odd Couple

    • @clays1507
      @clays1507 Місяць тому

      On November 13th, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his wife.

  • @antevrankovic4539
    @antevrankovic4539 Місяць тому +2

    For the fixing of some problem it is neccesary to bring it back into the conscious mind, because it is ussually trashed into subconsciousness. Still, you are right, if that proces is not used to solv the problem but just to rethink and overthink it, than the therapy is of no real use.

  • @joemachine4714
    @joemachine4714 Місяць тому +3

    It's only been about 100 generations since the height of Rome 😮

  • @st1ch3s38
    @st1ch3s38 16 днів тому +1

    I was reading the charges and case against Tate was dissolved from lack of evidence.
    So the things he was saying was more likely true.

  • @pauldeal547
    @pauldeal547 Місяць тому +1

    Excellent! Thank you, John!

  • @antevrankovic4539
    @antevrankovic4539 Місяць тому +7

    Asphalt? Through the woods? Eliminates mudd, but takes away the joy of feeling softness of the earth

  • @ICFUBAR
    @ICFUBAR Місяць тому +1

    Men have to learn not to give a shit of other's opinions of them, (unless they have a very valid point) This while developing a good set of ethics that will guide us through the many trials of life. Just as having a good set of ethics will make you a better man among men and women. These are thoughtful and thought provoking posts. Small hint on a less mentally cluttered life, I got rid of my phone, or at least leave the damn thing at home when you go out, disconnect when out and about. In my location I can be in the true wilds in 15 minutes in any direction from my home and damned if I want a phone interrupting my just being in Nature! As a side bar a man hunting does not just view the landscape he actually enters it as the hunter seeking his prey in that landscape. Two totally different perspectives and attitudes..

  • @mgtowbrony5387
    @mgtowbrony5387 Місяць тому +3

    An indictment is not a conviction.

  • @delawarepro3539
    @delawarepro3539 Місяць тому +2

    Master Class 👌

  • @nickvincent3029
    @nickvincent3029 Місяць тому +5

    Regardless of your political affiliations can someone get John co-opted into the new administration? It’s time.

    • @philyeary8809
      @philyeary8809 Місяць тому

      Loathsome 2 teamers.
      He can make his own choice, little man.

    • @philyeary8809
      @philyeary8809 Місяць тому +1

      Awww, found a butthurt two teamer😂

  • @alanbarnes3569
    @alanbarnes3569 Місяць тому +7

    Hi John, Thanks for this message! Many men when they get married become their wife’s pet. In my experience, women respond well to being led and given correct and positive direction, especially when they can see it’s for their own safety. So many women have had to deal with beta males and have been forced to take the lead so when they come across a guy who is strong minded and is showing them the sensible way to go forward in life, they are happy to follow. Thanks Alan 😊

    • @andre1987eph
      @andre1987eph Місяць тому +2

      In my experience, they resist, they don't happily follow. Even the Bible bears this out.

    • @melenico4512
      @melenico4512 Місяць тому +1

      Yes and No they see it as aggressive becuase they are so use to men bowing down to them for a piece. That is the average women experience so I can see their perspective as well. Many women deal with weak men because the men are sexually driven and create no boundaries and allow her to do what she wants. This is default mode currently for the most part and in the West.

  • @anon6243
    @anon6243 Місяць тому +3

    You nailed it quite well on what many men are grappling with in a changing society inundated with feminine energy, in the work place and society if not in personal relations.
    Loved your closing remarks, (lol) "stay healthy, if you can... Stay single." Haha right there with Marcus Arilious wisdom. Thanks!

  • @melenico4512
    @melenico4512 Місяць тому +2

    I understand the battle field scenario but if she doesn't submit you will continue the War with a high cost. The Trojan War actually went on for 10 years and cost the Trojans dearly in the end.

    • @EE12CSVT
      @EE12CSVT 26 днів тому +2

      If the woman is going to prove to be a battle, just get out. Women shouldn't be like that, and she'll only ruin your life. Not all women are like that.

    • @melenico4512
      @melenico4512 26 днів тому +1

      @EE12CSVT I agree we normalise choas in women. That shouldn't be the norm.

  • @anthonyfrattalone9937
    @anthonyfrattalone9937 Місяць тому +1

    where does John live? Trying to guess approx place based on the forest. Mid atlantic region I'm guessing?

  • @mnicoya1983
    @mnicoya1983 Місяць тому +2

    I think that Andrew Tate have positive and negative comments about women and their experiences with men.

  • @GinNBoost
    @GinNBoost 24 дні тому +1

    Tate’s views are not all that extreme nor different than what you preach. He’s just louder and more of a character. But he also wants men to stop chasing women and to make money and lift weights/be in shape. His no nonsense approach isn’t for everyone. And women tend to gravitate to his type of dominant personality.

  • @EE12CSVT
    @EE12CSVT 26 днів тому

    11:35 'a generation of men have allowed women to have power over them' - nope, it's been around a century, if not more. It's been in British popular culture for that long and it's the vast majority of men in marriages/LTR. It's what women expect by default and they can't process it if a guy isn't like that.

  • @EE12CSVT
    @EE12CSVT 26 днів тому

    11:20 'If you stop worrying about what you want and not what they want, you'll be more successful with women' - nope. That only applies to Chad Thunderstroke or immensely rich sugar daddies. Everyone else has to simp simp simp and simp.

  • @BlakesPipes
    @BlakesPipes Місяць тому +4

    I will say, this one got close to being some bad advise, it's your channel, but I see some discrepancies with choice of words. One was a woman can make a better man, let's use a good woman can compliment a man to be better. I don't believe marriage is a good option, not in today culture. So many others in this one that I would question for young guys. Men, find yourself before allowing others in. That includes other men. People will come and go today with how we have travel and media that has never been seen in humanity. 😊

    • @sonderman8079
      @sonderman8079 Місяць тому +2

      I agree with you. At times, I suppose depending on his mood, John tends to contradict himself from one video to another. Relationships teach things about yourself, so does a serious accident, or illness.

    • @BlakesPipes
      @BlakesPipes Місяць тому

      @sonderman8079 he has done well with many videos to help men going through these times. 35 years and above with current times. I also state that men need to touch the stove a few times to gain knowledge. Which sucks today. I went in with both feet all the way to 48 before I took my head out of my own ass to look around. I was very poorly programmed in the 70/80 and 90s that I believed the old rule book of treat her well and you never have to worry. It was my second marriage that I did everything that the rulebook said to do for a woman, and now I look back and knew I should have paid attention to my gut instinct. I took that red pill over 2 years and I really can't unsee things now. Hear the saying that demean the man, hear the nagging, see the girls and boys being even more poorly raised then when I was. Just glad I found other hobbies that are more rewarding then females. Problem is, they want in to my life, or the others have someone for me. I just spent 6 hours riding my bike and at a tobacco shop smoking a cigar, bought a new pipe and will break that in over the next hour having a walk outside. I have no outside issues anymore except my 2nd ex still wanting to come back after she was the one that stepped out. 🤪 hope you have a great weekend sir.

  • @tefjamzz8358
    @tefjamzz8358 Місяць тому +1

    John The Baptist 2.0

  • @EE12CSVT
    @EE12CSVT 26 днів тому

    19:00 yeah, except any masculine man with integrity should only do this to a woman who's an asset in his life. The vast majority are a dead loss.

  • @geraldtabu-or2jr
    @geraldtabu-or2jr Місяць тому +2

    Nice dogs I keep security dogs.

  • @geraldtabu-or2jr
    @geraldtabu-or2jr Місяць тому +2

    The only way you can practice masculinity in 2024 is having the wallet otherwise sharing of bills even if you listen to her she can't respect you difficult.

  • @Dee-s6s
    @Dee-s6s Місяць тому +3

    Heavy weight damages joints!

  • @zodiacleo5865
    @zodiacleo5865 Місяць тому +4

    💯 agree with everything you said except Andrew Tate is not a sex trafficker unless it's proven and he is found guilty in court.

  • @lowbloodprsure
    @lowbloodprsure Місяць тому +5

    Why didn't you use your own advice on your ex wife?

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  Місяць тому +7

      That ship has sailed! We are great friends and I enjoy her company, but I do not want to be her husband ever again. Plus that phase of life is over for me now. I have no desire to be married. Life 2.0 is too good

    • @mrwillwgp
      @mrwillwgp Місяць тому +2

      When you're in the moment, sitting in your thoughts and finding peace and quiet and change the direction is almost impossible. Plus as men we are content doing day in day out, women get bored.

    • @stephanesylvestre7143
      @stephanesylvestre7143 Місяць тому

      ​@@mrwillwgpall the more in today's world with this Disneyland atmosphere going on 24/7 everywhere you go, this is just social engineering at its best..i guess also you can very much judge a quality woman after this by the way: how much she is able to remain still or get bored without feeling like something is wrong in her life🙏😊

  • @yohami
    @yohami Місяць тому +1

    100 percent

  • @dews3340
    @dews3340 Місяць тому +1

    Thanks for sharing . Remember to watch Doug Casey's take Nov 12 with Michael Yon talking about why American men are NOT marrying American women, because of their drug, alcohol uses, & giving the children pharmaceutical drugs, and benefits of marrying foreign women. Like these men or not they are spot on. Good morning 🌄......... Stay healthy and free guys 😂🎉🎉

  • @TherealMotopsycho
    @TherealMotopsycho Місяць тому +1

    The bible says there is badically no sufferage uncommon to any man. All those that have vome before us have been theough this andshes wisdom inthe matter. Solomon in apl his wisdom is antoher such man eho understood the failings 9f men dealing with and making women the center of our world.
    Better is it to love in a mean cottage than with a contentious woman in a wide house....
    ☝🏾I paraphrase but ywah proverbs says that
    #wisdomofsolomon

  • @Orion-hx9ig
    @Orion-hx9ig 26 днів тому +1

    Honestly? You think too materialistically. (if you get married you lose half of your value).In a relationship it is a matter of give and take, both emotional and physical support such as chores in and around the house. Women love that. But you talk a lot about all the things you have to give up and the way you do that sounds very materialistic to me. I think that is a great pity because there is so much good to be gained from a relationship, for both parties.
    You've also said that women are incapable of solving problems and sometimes even deal with them in a chaotic way. In that case, once you have her trust, you can help her with that. If she doesn't allow that, it shows that she doesn't fully trust you yet. Once you have gained her trust and she allows you to support her in this and it works, then you can also make yourself vulnerable and she will help you too.
    Simply because that's what friends do for each other.
    This applies to all your videos together, not just this one. Self-love is good but I also detect a bit of narcissism.
    I may be wrong but sometimes it comes across to me as if you think men are superior to women while I think they can need each other and give each other balance. It is also nice for a woman to feel needed, just like it is for men.
    What you are right about:
    It is indeed very good to be happy yourself first so that you also have something to offer, if you don't have apples you can't give apples....if you are not truly happy yourself, you cannot give happiness and you drain each other's energy.
    I would like to add here that my wife (when she was still alive) and i grew closer and closer every year.
    I was a simple roofer and she stayed home to look after the children. Neither of us were highly educated, but we knew what made us happy. And for us it mattered that the best things in life were free. (each other, children, nature etc.)
    I would never have started a relationship with a highly educated woman because they often suppress their feelings with clear thinking,as soon as clear thinking starts to take over your feelings, you lose more and more connection with yourself. That's why I'd rather have a sweet woman than a highly educated one. But everyone has to make that choice for themselves.
    I hope you can do something with this.

  • @the.trollgubbe2642
    @the.trollgubbe2642 26 днів тому

    audio is out of sync ...with video ...

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  26 днів тому

      Thats odd. I will check it. Thanks

  • @stuford
    @stuford Місяць тому +3

    John, I'm confused as in most videos you say being single is better for men but here you say men are better with women! 🤔👍

    • @andre1987eph
      @andre1987eph Місяць тому +1

      I think he's saying very young men

    • @ronbronb
      @ronbronb Місяць тому +1

      I'd say stay single. Most men treat women as a belief, they'd tell anyone to believe no matter what, belief is irrational and when its someone else's its also very confusing and that's humans, listen to what they say, learn, but always filter and trust your guts first.

    • @melenico4512
      @melenico4512 Місяць тому +1

      I would say a more part-time basis when dealing with women and don't bow down for a piece as in losing who you are. Many men lose who they are as in their own identity.

  • @jazlynsaykwa5485
    @jazlynsaykwa5485 Місяць тому +1

    What the hello again JoAnne……

  • @DragonBiscuit
    @DragonBiscuit Місяць тому +2

    You don't appear to have much actual knowledge about the behavioral sciences. I'm a male clinical psychologist and we often adopt a solution-focused approach that does indeed help men "fix" problems. There are also evidence-based treatment protocols we utilize to facilitate the achievement of specific objectives. I've helped thousands of men over the years. Not every psychotherapist is a feminist whack job (just most of them 😆). Working with women is twice as hard - everything takes twice as long - it feels like pulling teeth...

    • @jamesleth806
      @jamesleth806 Місяць тому

      ​@@DragonBiscuit Correction, you work as a male clinical psychologist. Your whole human identity is not your occupation. (I am) to much ego identification . Why do I bring this up? Your opening comment was abrasive and condescending towards the narrator of the subject. Your comment is only your opinion. Evidence based , sorry to burst your bubble but academia is now full of obedient researchers that will not challenge the current political correctness agenda.(grant money) The research is skewed in the direction of gender politics. The concept of evidence based has been corrupted.

    • @DragonBiscuit
      @DragonBiscuit Місяць тому +1

      ​@@jamesleth806 Project much? You're the one being offensive while pretending to know something about clinical psychology - what a joke... The point of the comment was not to insult the creator, but rather to let men who may be watching know there are people who can assist them. You think simply watching a video is going to sufficiently address deeply rooted pathology? Grow up...

    • @jamesleth806
      @jamesleth806 Місяць тому

      @@DragonBiscuit thanks for your opinion..

  • @eric_linden
    @eric_linden Місяць тому +11

    Develop your own ideas. Don’t be an intellectual parrot.

    • @suefleming
      @suefleming Місяць тому +9

      Yes. Don't dismiss the lessons that other people have learned though either.

    • @Savvynomad225
      @Savvynomad225 Місяць тому +5

      New ideas are rare, what we deem our own ideas are typically a combination of inputs from others and our own biases created by experience

    • @michaelgarrow3239
      @michaelgarrow3239 Місяць тому

      This: coming from someone who has nothing to add to the conversation.
      He is telling a story.
      Marcus Aurelius Antoninus- wasn’t available… 🙄

    • @kencussen7275
      @kencussen7275 6 днів тому

      You mean we shouldn't take YOUR advice? 😅

  • @ackbuilder8262
    @ackbuilder8262 Місяць тому +4

    Why did you fail in having her fall into her feminine role? It’s kind of cynical or may be just weak for you to backpedal now. Andrew Tate might be an aggressive ahole type, but he is a very masculine guy with all of the psychical attributes. I find that if your woman doesn’t have competition anxiety for other women orbiting you, it’s just a matter of time before you lose your masculine frame as you age. No marriage, don’t let her use social media for instant validation and keep healthy doze of competition anxiety so she know you will walk away and never look back if she is disrespectful. It has been working for me. I am 49, divorced for 19 years.

  • @Brent-z2s
    @Brent-z2s Місяць тому +2

    Aristotle said happiness comes from the persuit of virtuous ideals. Marx said religion is the opiate of the people which is really the same thing.

  • @jazlynsaykwa5485
    @jazlynsaykwa5485 Місяць тому +1

    Why what the hello. John John…… I like your quote, “women are the heavy weights “but I think I can add to that and you can use my quote and your quote…… My quote is, “women are the heavy weights; men are the dumbbells. “ ha ha… I’m always trying to be funny
    I don’t know about the Romans having so much wisdom considering that much of what they had materially and intellectually was stolen from the Greeks. But it is what it is I guess. There is one bit of wisdom the Romans surpass most other people. The Romans were able to take a simple food product, pasta, and they made it into 100 different shapes and sizes, and were able to sell it because each of their recipes called for a different shape pasta…… Now that is what I call marketing genius
    A couple thoughts about masculinity…… I don’t think it’s particularly masculine to walk in the woods and always use an asphalt path instead of bushwhacking or using a deer path. Here in Minnesota I have a favorite dirt hiking path that I use often and I also have a favorite tree along the path that I love to climb. One of my test for a guy is to take him on a hike and if he insists on staying on the asphalt trail I dump him…… You know what I mean John, there is hiking and then there is hiking. I like the adventurous kind…… jazlyn

    • @john-griffin
      @john-griffin  Місяць тому +1

      I appreciate that from one dumbbell to another!😂