How to Build Emotional Safety in Relationships (The #1 Ingredient for a Successful Marriage)

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  • Опубліковано 28 сер 2024
  • HOW TO BUILD EMOTIONAL SAFETY IN RELATIONSHIPS (THE #1 INGREDIENT FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE)
    Here’s a guide on how to build emotional safety in relationships. Emotional safety in relationships is absolutely crucial. In fact, emotional safety in marriage is probably the #1 ingredient you need for a successful relationship.
    So this video will give you some emotional safety definitions and emotional safety meaning to help you understand what it is.
    And once you learn how you can create emotional safety, your relationship can begin to flourish.
    ------------------------
    💪 [FREE MASTERCLASS - SPOTS LIMITED]
    Learn The Proven 5-Step Process to Empower Yourself to Rebuild Your Relationship/Marriage
    relationshipsm...
    🎁 [GET THE FREE GUIDE]
    How to Properly Lead Conversations to open Up & Heal Your Partner’s Emotions
    relationshipsm...
    🗣 [LET’S GET PERSONAL]
    Interact with me on a personal level on my Facebook group
    / 1032426806961329
    • How to Build Emotional...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 128

  • @GeoffreySetiawan
    @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому +7

    Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
    💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
    🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
    🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/

  • @jamesg1974a
    @jamesg1974a 3 роки тому +59

    I have watched literally hundreds of videos, read books and engaged in counseling sessions, Geoffrey's way of explaining things really hit home and breaks through barriers. I recommend his content to anyone wishing to grow. Though he speaks in the context of relationships, his information is relevant across all aspects of life, all communication, all relationships.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Thank you!

    • @Garr3tt76
      @Garr3tt76 Рік тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan I'm confused where the 4 day training series is.. I see the Heal Your Partners Emotions Guide and a link to the masterclass, but in the video thumbnail it looks like a guide. Where is it?

  • @WiseMoveAZ
    @WiseMoveAZ 4 роки тому +43

    I had never heard of emotional safety before, but it makes sense that it is such an important factor in relationships. Great explanation and insights.

  • @Wildfeminine13
    @Wildfeminine13 Рік тому +7

    Such wisdom in this video. Thank you. My marriage is working through this after destroying any form of emotional safety. During intense moments, we’ve both lost our marbles. It’s truly a skill to self regulate to not emotionally react to intense moments. This what have saved us a year ago but alas…here and now the work begins.

  • @nyunyu8920
    @nyunyu8920 Рік тому +3

    I'm a woman and this explains not just my experience with my ex but also with my mom my whole life. Every time I said anything different than her thought, even when I was just suggesting another option for her, she took it as a challenge against her to get mad. Probably this is why I don't believe 'talking things out' is possible with anyone.😢

  • @LydiaNicoleLive
    @LydiaNicoleLive 4 роки тому +11

    I love your advice on leading conversations! It's such a good skill to have!

  • @TheaSanchez
    @TheaSanchez 4 роки тому +9

    crazy how you post 5x per week! also, i love how you see things are able to explain it thoroughly! :)

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      Thanks! Haha. Lots of relationship issues to go over :)

  • @GeoffreySetiawan
    @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому +5

    Thanks for tuning in! What other questions do you have about emotional safety that isn't addressed in the video?

    • @CoconutwCoco
      @CoconutwCoco 2 роки тому

      I would love to see more videos on this topic. I would project bad notions from my trauma when interpreting partner’s emotions actions.

  • @Thejasonsancho
    @Thejasonsancho 4 місяці тому

    Can't thank you enough Geffery. providing value like this for people who can't afford the coaching yet.

  • @geostarters1182
    @geostarters1182 2 роки тому +2

    You make it seem so simple and easy, yet it is mind boggling how complicated, deep and true all you post is; how much I find most elements of my story in there.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  2 роки тому +1

      Hi Geo Starters,
      It actually is quite easy when you find the right ways. Take a look at my countless clients stories who have all learned how and have seen massive success in their lives.
      ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html

    • @geostarters1182
      @geostarters1182 2 роки тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan yes. I will be enrolling. Hope it really helps me mend myself and maybe het family back. Take care!

  • @cynthiachirokote3129
    @cynthiachirokote3129 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much i made this error for over 15 years in my relationship and now i have some info to help me get it back on track thank you.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  2 роки тому

      Awesome, this is exactly why I created this content to be able to help people repair and thrive in their relationships like I have and as have my clients.

  • @ElizabethRitchie
    @ElizabethRitchie 4 роки тому +8

    This video was chock full of impactful information. The topic of what you can control within the relationship is huge. Great video!

  • @babymine2008
    @babymine2008 4 роки тому +5

    Emotional safety, that totally makes sense, just like the oslos hierarchy. This is the first step.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      Definitely. Just take that first next step. Thanks for tuning in!

  • @krystinmetz5944
    @krystinmetz5944 3 роки тому +3

    Thank you so much. I feel empowered by this video even in the mist of my struggle. Can't wait for the master class.

  • @mcforjah
    @mcforjah 2 роки тому +3

    Man, this video's are nailing my relationship on point!
    Great videos are very original insights on relationships.
    I totally identify myself with that, and is a great alternative to superficial or manipulative fixes to difficulties in the relationship.

  • @YJPStudio
    @YJPStudio 4 роки тому +3

    Emotional safety.. it was an interesting topic to think about. But I believe it is really important!! Thanks for the info!

  • @SelfMadeMillennial
    @SelfMadeMillennial 4 роки тому +3

    Very insightful. I learned a new term today!

  • @mctwain5319
    @mctwain5319 Рік тому +1

    Although your series has spun out of control into such an overwhelming informative channel , I still follow the five principals and love the results the rich nuggets of wisdom, to absolute golden advice ! Geoff Five steps = Greatness !

  • @lindsaywangnoon2612
    @lindsaywangnoon2612 4 роки тому +2

    Thank You for this video. I struggle with how to receive negative feedback in conversations & will take the course.

  • @RobbiJamesVogt
    @RobbiJamesVogt Рік тому

    You’re emotional intelligence and empathetic reasoning is incredible! Keep it up

  • @iainh1634
    @iainh1634 4 роки тому +2

    Hey for such a young guy you have an amazing wisdom of what’s happening in relationships between couples. Your videos are awesome. Thankyou

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      Super honored to get this comment. Thank you Lain :)

  • @JokeDeSwert
    @JokeDeSwert 4 роки тому +4

    You explained it so thoroughly! So much value here, thanks for sharing!

  • @GarethBretton
    @GarethBretton 4 роки тому +2

    this is great! really enjoyed watching your video and loving your channel! keep them coming brother :)

  • @MichaelPluszek
    @MichaelPluszek 4 роки тому +2

    AWESOME Geoffrey. Another great video from you. Love your energy man!

  • @wiolettareyes6855
    @wiolettareyes6855 3 місяці тому

    For the first time in my life I heard someone say something smart. I really wish some husbands would take this to heart and get their balls back.

  • @camilohernandez17
    @camilohernandez17 Рік тому

    You're teachings are a gift to humanity, cheers mate 👍

  • @RachelSmets
    @RachelSmets 4 роки тому +4

    Hey Geoffrey, so much information. You're amazing! Really impressed. Do you do anything else besides making brilliant video's? I'm serious, I want to know how you find the time to do it. I post 2 per week and wish I could do it full time because I love doing it.
    Relationship tips are always good, but I'm single and LOVE being single. I've had relationships, great ones and open to more, but I travel the world and LOVE my freedom!
    See you soon,
    rachel

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      Haha :) Yes, I love to read and my girlfriend and I do try to spend more time together as we both work a lot. But for the videos, I just try to batch it as much as I can -- I typically can get all 5 videos done, uploaded and optimized in a full 12 hour workday.

  • @yongjunming2715
    @yongjunming2715 3 роки тому +1

    Your content has helped make alot of sense of my current rs challenges thanks

  • @sh6460
    @sh6460 Рік тому

    Thank you so much, I so need this. Thank you for helping so many.

  • @rjclower9316
    @rjclower9316 3 роки тому +2

    I'm able to open my emotional feelings to my partner but my wife will not open up any of her emotions to me at all no matter what I've done in a 10 year marriage and now she's left and says she's filing for a divorce I don't know how to stop this

  • @juliegraham6539
    @juliegraham6539 4 роки тому +1

    These are geared towards men. But I started watching them and am getting a lot out of them myself

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      Julie -- I am so glad! And yes, this should apply to both men and women :)

  • @anastasiapsaropoulou3481
    @anastasiapsaropoulou3481 4 роки тому +1

    Great video and you describe very nice what emotional safety is in a relationship. I would really like to make a video about emotional safety during pregnancy.

  • @dougsmonsters4866
    @dougsmonsters4866 3 роки тому

    Timely information for me. I've been selfish in my outlook. Thank you!!

  • @anisurfer84
    @anisurfer84 4 роки тому +2

    This is very good stuff and one of the most important things. Thanks, Geoffrey. You have talked about being bullet proof during intense emotional outbursts during the emotional safety building phase and that is great. But, can you address the situation where a partner who is feeling emotionally unsafe starts asking questions in between their emotional outbursts. For example, if she is expressing something intense or even blaming my past mistakes because all that has been bottled up for some time, I just need to be emotionally resilient. But, if she starts asking questions during those outbursts, like, "Tell me what would you have done if so and so said or did such and such thing to you?" "Don't you think so and so is an asshole?" And if she is really insisting for an answer, what to do here? I don't agree with her, but I don't really want to invalidate her at this point. A video on communication strategies during emotional outbursts will be great.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому +2

      Hey man! I would just respond with something like this: I would feel X, Y, Z. I am assuming this is also how you feel. Can you tell me more about that? (Again, repeat/paraphrase & ask to clarify)

    • @anisurfer84
      @anisurfer84 4 роки тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan Thank you the response. Your approach makes sense and is so simple in hindsight and yet I have never learned to communicate this way. Glad to find your channel.

  • @celinecormier2060
    @celinecormier2060 2 роки тому

    Powerful and clear ! Thank you so much !!

  • @dixxieblack7896
    @dixxieblack7896 Рік тому

    I find the video really amazing but the one thing I didn't get was if your partner no longer loves you or no longer find you artractive then what does it matter if you have or not emotional safety? at the end of the day it is not like if they are just expressing you that you did something that bother them but if they no longer love you having emotional safety won't make any difference

  • @SocializeThat
    @SocializeThat 4 роки тому +2

    Great stuff!

  • @jonathankabanga9425
    @jonathankabanga9425 3 роки тому

    Thank you very much sir. Now I have a baseline on what to do

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hi Jonathan,
      You are welcome brother! Happy this video has been helpful…
      Rebuilding safety & trust is crucial to having a thriving relationship.

  • @beardedham5983
    @beardedham5983 Рік тому

    You speak very well. Amazing content 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  Рік тому +1

      Hey Bearded Ham,
      Thanks for the support and comment. LOL love the name :)

    • @beardedham5983
      @beardedham5983 Рік тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan 😂😂😂, your welcome. Blessings

  • @RAMRA10
    @RAMRA10 3 роки тому

    I love you bro this is pure gold!

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Your getting it my friend! What did you like about my video the most?

  • @Martha-LaMexa
    @Martha-LaMexa 3 роки тому

    Great advice here Geoffrey.Thank you

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hi Starting over with Martha,
      Thank you for your support, I will continue to do my best to try and provide you guys with the most informative content.

  • @dungbui1341
    @dungbui1341 3 роки тому

    Really good information. How did you figure out all of this?

  • @ethancates5170
    @ethancates5170 2 роки тому

    Thank you Geoffrey

  • @chitos2132
    @chitos2132 Рік тому

    You know what's funny is that I had alot of this when I was younger. It's almost like I lost it as I got older and further into my last relationship. So sad but I have to start from the beginning now to make sure not to mess things up this time.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  Рік тому

      Hi ChitoS,
      What are you going to different this time, to keep from "messing things up the next time"?

    • @chitos2132
      @chitos2132 Рік тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan I mean I know I have no excuse but I want to know how to talk to her even though it weirds her out so much but I've started to talk to her with my bpv so that she can trust to talk to me again. I didn't have my bpv when we were together and when I did it was so short term and for calmer situations. I'm still learning alot and have been rewatching the beginning stages videos over and over and also took notes on the master classes and even watched a couple already. I do have one question tho. Like I stated, she seems to be avoiding me atm. I can sense she wants to talk to me but it's obvious she just wants to. Should I give her her space? I don't want to bug her beyond what I should but I can't communicate if she doesn't want to talk to me. What do I do in this situation?

  • @on1kag326
    @on1kag326 3 роки тому +1

    I've been watching a bunch of your videos, I'm going through a rough situation, I have a girlfriend who lives in Australia and we used to spend every day on xbox live watching movies and playing games and UA-cam videos she even came to visit me once, from what I've seen, I destroyed emotional safety, the problem is I didn't understand what was wrong until it's too late she gave me like 4 chances but things just kept getting worse. She says she just wants to be friends because she just wants to be alone she says she can be a good bestfriend but I don't want that, I don't treat her like a bestfriend if I did we wouldn't have gotten so close to begin with

    • @on1kag326
      @on1kag326 3 роки тому

      I know I destroyed emotional safety, but she doesn't want to give us a chance, we are in this break up not broken up phase

    • @on1kag326
      @on1kag326 3 роки тому

      I'm in alot of pain , I've asked her to try and give us a chance she says she doesn't want to try, and don't want to lie to her and say let's be friends knowing I want more

    • @on1kag326
      @on1kag326 3 роки тому

      I really liked the relationship mountain video it explained alot, I wish I would have discovered you sooner

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Never too late my brother!

  • @saltydog_81
    @saltydog_81 2 роки тому

    How can I bring up the topic of emotional safety without making it seem like I'm blaming her?

  • @HolisticMotion
    @HolisticMotion 3 роки тому

    What about when there is a pattern of the same insecurity brought up nonstop?
    If someone is always concerned about “someone else”, at some point don’t you need to be like “you can’t keep harping on this issue, I’ve told you you don’t need to worry” ?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Hi Pride, please consider joining my free FaceBook group where me or a member of my team can help answer this question a bit better.
      facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/

  • @StreetsDeadliesTribe
    @StreetsDeadliesTribe 2 роки тому

    she asked for space. when she reaches back out what exactly should your first conversation be? to start building the emotional relationship?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  2 роки тому

      Hi VisionaryTribe,
      Watch this video below first. Then provide me a follow up questions if you are still confused.
      ua-cam.com/video/Gqb3S7GqPaY/v-deo.html

  • @fishstickbio594
    @fishstickbio594 Рік тому +1

    Hey Jeffrey ….if you can teach men not to stray sexually from their significant other would be perfect as this whole set of negative behaviors like resentment , stonewalling , anger …..would NOT interfere in that relationship ……it is almost impossible to get over on the other person who cheats sexually on you …. Thank you .

  • @Rantavants
    @Rantavants 2 роки тому +1

    Can you creat emotional safety by texting or calling ?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  2 роки тому

      Hi KirsiMooz,
      Short answer.. no you can create emotional safety through texting. Come join me here in my free 90 min master class to learn a lot more on emotional safety and how to start creating it.
      relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

  • @aubreynoronha531
    @aubreynoronha531 3 місяці тому

    Anyone know where the 5 part training link is?

  • @karolkozak64
    @karolkozak64 Рік тому

    hi Geoffrey I find all your content very valuable. I am dealing with partner issues currently and it is due to a lack of emotional safety where I get overly harsh and aggressive and see everything as a threat. My partner told me she does not feel safe and valued. Do you think that a way for me to instill more safety in arguments might be in my stance and posture? I've been thinking about this a lot whether simply standing shoulder by shoulder in a situation might make me realize i am not opposing my partner and making her a target or victim - but instead standing side by side and seeing a 'way out' together. I know its not enough but could this work? Thanks for your time.

  • @savage308win
    @savage308win 2 роки тому

    So True!

  • @stepahead5944
    @stepahead5944 4 роки тому

    Please describe this process when a narcissist is involved. They don't necessarily respond logically/as normal, reciprocal people do. They don't play by the rules.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 роки тому

      Step 4head -- How do you know your are dealing with a biological narcissist, rather than someone who might be acting that way as a defensive mechanism due to lack of safety? The reason I ask is that statistically, much less than 1% of the population is a biological narcissist, but a lot of people seem to think their partner is. The numbers don't add up. What people think of as a narcissist is actually just a misdiagnosed defense mechanism.

  • @Anthony-ds6vl
    @Anthony-ds6vl Рік тому

    Did he end the free masterclass?

  • @r011ing_thunder6
    @r011ing_thunder6 Рік тому

    Can this also be applied in friendships between guys? Or a friendship between a guy and a girl?

  • @marshallchase9813
    @marshallchase9813 2 роки тому

    what about LDR. no possibility of in person contact or at least not until some trust or safety is built?

  • @yazminrenteria6815
    @yazminrenteria6815 Рік тому

    How do I create emotional safety?

  • @po5541
    @po5541 Рік тому

    My gosh this is both my wife and I

  • @natsudragneel3814
    @natsudragneel3814 2 роки тому

    a video on psychological safety

  • @jenniferhall9160
    @jenniferhall9160 3 роки тому

    Good evening.I would like to know how to deal with my partner who gets defensive when i ask him about his bad habits .

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Change the way you bring up these topics. Learn the frameworks. Here's one: ua-cam.com/video/CLAETauyP40/v-deo.html

  • @mikewright4244
    @mikewright4244 Рік тому

    A few weeks ago i confessed to my significant other that i have been using drugs infrequently (Weed and Percocet) for about a month. She asked me to stop and the next day i quit cold turkey, flushed it all down the toilet and promised i would use only medications prescribed to me by my doctor. How can i make sure that she knows the sincerity of my promise to quit using while not coming off like a kid bragging to there parents that they havent misbehaved? Niether of us have mentioned it sense the revelation. I just want her to know there are NO Secrets between us now or ever again any help?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  Рік тому

      Hi Mike Wright,
      Building trust is not about words or promises. Trust is time and consistency of actions.
      Sure, would love to help. What about the mindsets and tools of how to rebuild emotional safety, having no secrets did you learn in this video and what can I help you with?

    • @mikewright4244
      @mikewright4244 Рік тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan i would try to talk about difficult things but almost as soon as i begin a difficult subject my partner would tell me im pushing them away and get upset. To avoid seeing them upset i would drop the subject and say im ok (which was a lie). Over time the suppression of my own emotions and inability to express them caused our relationship to deteriorate. Your videos that have been helping me the most are about Emotional safety and psychological safety. I wont be seeing my Significant Other until next monday 8 days from now. I plan to try and use your videos to help me express how we need to feel safe in both ways i also plan to address some of the boundaries we've set up and talk about which ones we need longer and which ones we can begin to pull down. Thanks for replying your a heck of a guy!

  • @Joebabylon
    @Joebabylon Рік тому

    How can one create safety when one partner is afraid of what the other one says in anger? Sometimes the partner steps across the line when angry.
    Other than the obvious (don’t do that again) how can one partner make the other one feel safe that this behavior is being worked on?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  Рік тому

      Hi Joe Marougi,
      Can you tell me how becoming emotionally bulletproof like I advise could be the answer here?

    • @Joebabylon
      @Joebabylon Рік тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan Yup. Once one has a grasp on their emotions then they won’t do it again.
      I guess “time” is the only answer here since there’s no way to let your partner know you won’t do that again until enough time goes by so they can see for themselves that it doesn’t happen any more?
      I was hoping there may be a way for them to feel safer sooner than having to wait in real time for it not to happen again. Until then they will still feel a bit threatened by it.

  • @davidbailey1718
    @davidbailey1718 4 роки тому

    Can't see the facebook link on my phone

  • @debiasedchance4108
    @debiasedchance4108 Рік тому

    Hi Geoff. The Facebook link is kinda broken.

  • @amandaroncevich9380
    @amandaroncevich9380 Рік тому

    What is the best way to end a discussion/argument that has already escalated beyond reasonable emotional control?

  • @anildabas6081
    @anildabas6081 Рік тому

    Hey Geoffrey
    Please read this it’s Important
    Thanks a lot for your videos
    I am following them my partner told me on 18th feb that she needs time while on 14th feb we meet and everything was really good i did not understand the space thing properly and hence I kept on messaging her then I ended up learning from ur videos about space and i started giving her time
    Its been 8 march today I worked on my self she can see my changes but she says that see when we are not focusing on relationship we are doing good else we were just in a toxic cycle for 9 months but i dont agree i am working on myself do u think she will ever comeback ?

  • @cyqzs-9663
    @cyqzs-9663 3 роки тому

    Does the link not work anymore for the free guide?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      Is should be working. What's the issue you're encountering?

  • @eddiewiggins5651
    @eddiewiggins5651 2 роки тому

    How to build psychological safety?

  • @aleahadelito9791
    @aleahadelito9791 3 роки тому

    But i dont know how to start a deeper conversatios .. because Everytime i start open a conversation she gets mad.. pls help me

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 роки тому

      ALEAH ADELITO, I want you to watch this video and see if this applies to your situation and come back and let me know.
      ua-cam.com/video/AnLNVARvpU8/v-deo.html

    • @aleahadelito9791
      @aleahadelito9791 3 роки тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan thank sow much sir.. ok ill try its so hard to open an deeper conversatios with her because we are in long distance relationship as of now for 3years.. but were 6years last day.. and i dont want to loose hope .

  • @andreic1755
    @andreic1755 Рік тому

    I hurt my gf's feelings and shs holds pain, anger and sadness towerds me. She loves me and we still live together, she almost cheated on but i do not blame her, I played video games non stop.She cannot experience sexual pleasure and does feel to kiss me. She seems to want to rebuild out relationship. How can I make her trust me? Is it right that she cannot feel sexual pleasure because of her hurt feelings and emotional safety?

  • @AL-sg2jd
    @AL-sg2jd Рік тому

    I need a partner that is emotionally stable. This is all a big headache

  • @treybarnes5549
    @treybarnes5549 2 роки тому

    Why in the world does it have to be so complicated. Emotional safety was not a thing 20 years ago. The only reason why these are things is because people are wanting these things to be things. My wife works hard to get her feeling hurt making it impossible to talk to her. When I have to think so hard how to talk to her, I forget what it was that I wanted to say

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  2 роки тому

      Hi Trey,
      While yes, 20 years ago emotional safety was not as evident as it is now. But being evident does not make it any less important.
      Let me ask you, what is complicated about not being reactive in conversation and trying to understand someone other than yourself's point of view?
      Seems kind of simple to me, but I may be missing something, I don't know. You tell me.

    • @treybarnes5549
      @treybarnes5549 2 роки тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan it’s not too bad when their perspective is not too far from reality and I can make sense of it. What’s bad is when it’s a bold face lie. These days unreasonable perspectives are manageable and different points of view are not difficult to discuss and understand. But the lies being offered as explanations and worst used as explanations and offered as reason for behavior. I have lots of trouble navigating conversations when I’m given for example “I’m distant and disengaged because my mother made me sleep in the dark” or “I don’t want to help with the kids because it reminds me of when I was bulled at school”. and for me to focus on it is abusive. I just walk away saying this is not serious

    • @treybarnes5549
      @treybarnes5549 2 роки тому

      @@GeoffreySetiawan And I think that is what I’m saying. Is that when you cater to these type of feelings and emotions, you give it some legitimacy, that in reality it doesn’t deserve, nor is it beneficial to a healthy mind, or relationship. Thank you so much for replying

  • @sharonfisher1850
    @sharonfisher1850 2 роки тому

    What if they don't want emotional safety? ...never did love you😪

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  2 роки тому

      Hi Sharon Fisher,
      Through my enrolling 1500 clients a year and many many years of research I have yet to find anyone not wanting emotional safety. The question we have to ask ourselves is do they not want it from us? Then if not, how can we learn and grow in the right ways to be able to have them want to in the future?

  • @rayngmelb
    @rayngmelb Рік тому

    澳洲有種族歧視?妳肯定未遇過澳洲