Women Explain Why Dating Gets Harder As They Get Older…

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,3 тис.

  • @raymondmasullo3386
    @raymondmasullo3386 Рік тому +3285

    I'm 53 and newly divorced and single. Based on what I've experienced, the women my age are just as confused and filled with unrealistic standards as some of the young women here. I'm just going to focus on my hobbies and interests and forget about dating.

    • @JoshuaKevinPerry
      @JoshuaKevinPerry Рік тому +121

      Date 25-40 and you're in the sweet spot

    • @hardmanst
      @hardmanst Рік тому +162

      I divorced in 2018 after 34 years married to the same woman, (I turned 70 this year). Guess what, my experiences with dating coincide with yours in terms of the women

    • @jkoeberli
      @jkoeberli Рік тому +129

      wise decision. don't make YOUR hapiness depending on others. Happiness is made, not found. good luck, sir!

    • @sausage_and_peppers
      @sausage_and_peppers Рік тому +42

      ​@@JoshuaKevinPerryno. He is better by himself.

    • @lockyp204
      @lockyp204 Рік тому +95

      52 here….After about 45 dating is a complete waste of time

  • @andrewfillion
    @andrewfillion Рік тому +1010

    If you’re frustrated with the dating world right now just understand the problem is bigger than you. Just focus on personal development. It may never lead to a relationship but at least your own life can become better and better.

    • @resonancetides7196
      @resonancetides7196 Рік тому +13

      Agree. I just rent a prostitute and NEVER EVER think about relationships.

    • @Deimonos85
      @Deimonos85 Рік тому

      It depends.. if you are a man, then yeah you are right. The sexual market place is fucked up for the regular joe.
      But if you are a woman and whining about it.. it is on you.. YOU fucked up

    • @crimson6172
      @crimson6172 Рік тому +20

      It's the ONLY way it will lead to a relationship. Drowning in the mess of modern dating will get you nowhere. Your value is literally the only currency that will attract others, in the present and in the future. Keep building/maintaining it via self-improvement.

    • @Nocomment552
      @Nocomment552 Рік тому +15

      This is one the more positive takes I’ve seen in the comment section of these kinds of videos. It hurts my heart to see people (both men and women) taking life’s lessons and turning them into something destructive and unproductive. We’ve all fallen into a negative mentality at one point or another, but we need to start promoting a healthier mindset for ourselves and others.

    • @andrewfillion
      @andrewfillion Рік тому +4

      @@Nocomment552 thank you I agree. Our world is what we perceive it to be. We can’t choose our external variables but we can choose how to respond to them. We should all strive to find ways to take a bad situation and still find a positive outcome.

  • @Caseyisforeverr
    @Caseyisforeverr Рік тому +478

    Being supportive is such a small thing that seems to get overlooked. I love seeing couples that understand that and support each other no matter what.

    • @charondesousa8868
      @charondesousa8868 Рік тому +18

      This!! My ex-gf tried to say I showed no effort while we were together until I pulled her up on how much support I provided her, embracing her insecurities and uplifting her so she wouldn't hate her flaws, being a shoulder to cry on, lending an hear, helping her with her uni studies, good morning texts and late night conversations, dinner dates, etc etc. I did everything, but she tried to dismiss all of that and that's when I decided to cut things off. Haven't really put much effort into any relationship afterwards and don't I ever will again tbh.

    • @Caseyisforeverr
      @Caseyisforeverr Рік тому +9

      @@charondesousa8868 oh wow! That does suck. All the little things do stack up. Understandable that your efforts have deminished. 😕

    • @ihavenoson3384
      @ihavenoson3384 Рік тому

      Women have adapted this transactional "what is in it for me" attitude no one wants in a lover. That is the MO of a prostitute. A prostitute does not love you, it loves the money it gets from you. It is very sad when the prostitutes are more supportive than your "lovers" by simply not nagging and venting out on their partners. Just look at the violence stats of lesbian couples - pretty high. Instead of being supportive, wahmen obsess about money and start nagging hardcore as soon as your shared earnings no longer equal 150 % of hers. Wifestitutes like that have none of the benefits of the real prostitute.

    • @danh2716
      @danh2716 Рік тому +4

      A woman saying, "I'm supportive." And a woman actually being supportive are two different things.
      8 times out of 10 their idea of supportive is just nagging

    • @ihavenoson3384
      @ihavenoson3384 Рік тому

      ​@@danh2716 Yeah, there are 10 women pretending to be something for every genuine specimen. They say the real reason is that the women have made to think that they need no man, which makes them much more likely to compete with their man instead of exhibiting basic human intelligence by being cooperative.
      Being competitive is nature's way of saying "yours and my interests are separate." This means that pairing up with modern wahmen like that gets you WORSE SERVICE THAN AN AVERAGE PROSTITUTE CAN DELIVER. No exceptions.
      To assess the genuineness of women today, you need extensive testing and they have to be the research kind of tests where the woman can not guess what you are testing her for.
      It takes a lot of effort to test every single wahman intelligently like that, which is why you cannot blame men for opting to do something genuinely fun and reliable instead, for example, self-indulging with video games. Video games are fun, funny and never nag you for long.
      Not to mention the single-mother households produce wahmen with non--fixable-tier daddy issues that lead to every single trash wahman behavior pattern including nagging.

  • @12martin12rojas
    @12martin12rojas 8 місяців тому +164

    This channel is fresh air, not woman blaming all men, and not a guy saying all women are cheaters. Just honest and straightforward this channel is great

    • @TransgirlsEnjoyer
      @TransgirlsEnjoyer 7 місяців тому

      she is just making money out of men, she is still same women like others. dont get fooled

    • @azanocegrog748
      @azanocegrog748 6 місяців тому +3

      Its a great channel, I struggle with dating so its nice to hear some supportive words, but I hate all the MGTOW sexist bs.

    • @stevec3526
      @stevec3526 5 місяців тому +5

      I have never heard a Red Pill channel say ALL women cheat.

    • @12martin12rojas
      @12martin12rojas 5 місяців тому +1

      @stevec3526 can I be honest I don't care for that. I got a life, I just like her channel, recommend it for men and women

    • @TheLastWordWithBob
      @TheLastWordWithBob 3 місяці тому

      @@azanocegrog748why shouldn’t MGTOW?

  • @John-bd3ts
    @John-bd3ts Рік тому +722

    Yup, it’s kinda sad that their own “expectations” sometimes keep them from making a long lasting relationship.

    • @michaeluphoff4749
      @michaeluphoff4749 Рік тому +20

      It really is disheartening, especially when they are a good person.

    • @Renatogabriel1221
      @Renatogabriel1221 Рік тому +34

      I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want a partner who has there shit together… steady job, in shape, takes care of themselves but I do think your main expectation should be that the person makes you happy and treats you right.. cuz what’s a wealthy husband worth if he’s beating you or disrespects you? Priorities

    • @UnstableYT-u7k
      @UnstableYT-u7k Рік тому

      But I do see a lot of younger men marrying women who are over 20 years older than them.

    • @giuseppemaggio5894
      @giuseppemaggio5894 Рік тому +8

      Sometimes? More like 90% of the time nowadays...

    • @Atius8
      @Atius8 Рік тому +19

      It's like watching the aftermath of a car crash, it's sad, but you have to keep your distance and walk away.

  • @andrewh7868
    @andrewh7868 Рік тому +489

    You're incredibly kind to call some people "young" instead of "childish".

    • @stevec3526
      @stevec3526 5 місяців тому +4

      Call a spade a spade.

    • @dakota9821
      @dakota9821 4 дні тому

      Coddling people is how we got into this situation in the first place.
      If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck; It's a fking duck.
      If you're an adult, you should NOT need to be coddled. GROW UP.

  • @brettbeyer73
    @brettbeyer73 Рік тому +997

    One thing that kept coming up was that it was always the men's fault. There were very few of these women that took any responsibility in their own behavior.

    • @BlackoutPatriot
      @BlackoutPatriot Рік тому +76

      They like playing the victim

    • @alexwatts9515
      @alexwatts9515 Рік тому +42

      Never do never will

    • @yourname5566_1
      @yourname5566_1 Рік тому +56

      We have babied woman to the point where they often times act like 9 year olds.

    • @littlemeowmeow9947
      @littlemeowmeow9947 Рік тому +7

      I know it is my fault. Because I was so shy…

    • @lockyp204
      @lockyp204 Рік тому +9

      Same as it ever was…

  • @Mars_Fortune_Music
    @Mars_Fortune_Music Рік тому +139

    After my divorce I took a long hard look at myself and did what I needed to change the way I reacted to life in general. When I met my future second wife I wasn't shy in telling her my wants and desires. It wasn't how much she made or how successful she was. In the end we both wanted someone to come home to and just listen, someone to pick up the slack when the other couldn't. Love speaks loudest in actions not words. When I come home and the house is messy I will clean it. When I forget to take the trash out she does it. Most importantly we talk to each other, no mind reading allowed. Love one another out there.

    • @blktauna
      @blktauna 11 місяців тому +5

      May this lesson reach all who need to see it.

    • @saintejeannedarc9460
      @saintejeannedarc9460 7 місяців тому

      One of the most sensible, down to earth and wise comments I've seen yet. So tired of this red pill (really black pill), passport bro f'g bullshit that men are spewing these days. They just sound like tired, tragic losers, but it's all the women's fault, nothing about them, of course.

    • @LisaFenton-h7f
      @LisaFenton-h7f 6 місяців тому

      Important & wise words: "Love speaks loudest in ACTION NOT WORDS."

  • @treychristopheryoung9983
    @treychristopheryoung9983 Рік тому +504

    I actually went out on a date with the girl who gave off that whole list of requirements (7:10). I remember she told me she has a list of requirements and I didn’t really ask much about it because I didn’t care that much. And so my mouth actually dropped outta my ass when I saw her in this video…😵‍💫😵‍💫

    • @Semaj2326
      @Semaj2326 Рік тому +48

      Was she just as crazy in person?

    • @treychristopheryoung9983
      @treychristopheryoung9983 Рік тому +119

      @@Semaj2326 hahaha a little but definitely not to this degree, no. She was actually pretty funny, but I still wasn’t really feeling it enough to continue to see her. I guess I shouldn’t have been that surprised to actually hear about her list, because she brought it up once or twice hahaha

    • @eoinMB3949
      @eoinMB3949 Рік тому +131

      I think you dodged yourself a massive bullet there Hombre

    • @sacha7440
      @sacha7440 Рік тому +17

      Omg!😂

    • @claytonbouldin9381
      @claytonbouldin9381 Рік тому +55

      You dodged a HUGE bullet with that one!

  • @davidchambers44
    @davidchambers44 Рік тому +571

    I read something recently that said that people grow up hearing that anything is possible and have incredibly unrealistic expectations for their lives, but I feel this applies to relationships too. Many people are searching for someone perfect who simply doesnt exist, and they end up single. It's sad because they had chances to find love but turned it down because their friends said they could do better, or because the person didnt check all of their hundreds of boxes.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  Рік тому +71

      This is spot on.

    • @BB-te8tc
      @BB-te8tc Рік тому +63

      It doesn't even stop at "anything is possible". It gets into "accept nothing less than perfection", and then we get headlines like "Broke men are hurting women's marriage prospects" reinforcing the idea that unless you make six figures and look like a male model, don't even try.

    • @ATLBraves1992
      @ATLBraves1992 Рік тому +38

      Amazing how unrealistic women have gotten as I have gotten older dating. Women with no jobs expect 6 figure incomes, women who are “6-7s” are expecting a guy who is a “10” & dating apps have made dating toxic and expectations unrealistic. I’ve dated women who claimed they were “strong career driven, don’t need a man attitude” and yet when they bills came, I always paid them and she always “had to go to the bathroom” after multiple dates.
      I called her out on it after the 5th date and she claimed she was “traditional” when it came to dates and men paying, yet claimed she was making 6 figures working from home. That didn’t last.
      What women will realize is that they found nobody good enough and this often leads to depression in their late 40s/50s once they realized that they were arrogant in their 30s/early 40s.

    • @BB-te8tc
      @BB-te8tc Рік тому +38

      @@ATLBraves1992 my experience is that some women tend to assume that all men, particularly straight white ones, just walk into six figure jobs and don't suffer any adversity or hardship, either to get there or to maintain that position.
      Love being told that since I am a straight white guy I am overly confident, loud, and oppressive, when I'm an INFJ on the autism spectrum with childhood trauma issues who is just starting to get a semblance of a career together over the past five years despite being nearly 40.

    • @reanschwarzer2187
      @reanschwarzer2187 Рік тому

      It’s called hypergamy my friend the proof they are delusional is the body positivity movement end of story

  • @chapagawa
    @chapagawa Рік тому +852

    I love the “I choose poorly, but it’s the person I choose poorly’s fault.” Men’s brains hurt too in dealing with this.

    • @jostencline6443
      @jostencline6443 Рік тому +38

      yeah... you nailed it. according to girls it's always the guy's fault. if they could see what it looks like from our end, oh boy...

    • @jostencline6443
      @jostencline6443 Рік тому +20

      Having some level of ambition is ok, maybe even a good thing, but if she's all about ambition, she's probably not all about you. so... why bother?

    • @avocadodevotee
      @avocadodevotee 11 місяців тому

      men need to get it into their tiny little brains that women were not made for decision making or even being in charge. women cannot even be in charge of their own life which is why there is this stereotype of girls telling each other everything. girls confide in each other because they literally cannot decide anything on their own. start acting like a fucking man and tell women what to do and they will feel drawn to you

    • @daishan1234
      @daishan1234 11 місяців тому +9

      @@jostencline6443 ambition is a masculine trait to begin with.

    • @yeetman4953
      @yeetman4953 11 місяців тому +2

      ​@@daishan1234because ambitions women were shunned

  • @BlahBlahPoop617
    @BlahBlahPoop617 11 місяців тому +43

    “Men are immature. I dated a guy at 39 who didn’t believe in monogamy.” So you’re shaming men for doing what you did in your 20’s when you had all the options?

    • @RenegadeContext
      @RenegadeContext 11 днів тому

      She never said she wasn't monogamous in her 20s. She may have been

  • @corhou8619
    @corhou8619 Рік тому +389

    Inversely, dating has gotten way easier for me as a man in my 30s! I get way more dates than I did in my 20s. However, I notice that women in their 30s are more driven by anxiety.
    I've dated lawyers, surgeons, scientists, etc. All successful women. I'm a professional myself, but not a big deal like some of these women. No, I'm not insecure about their success. I respect the hell out of anyone who pursues their goals.
    The reason why things ended with all of them is that they let their anxieties take over the relationship. Their biological clock is ticking, they know their looks aren't going to hold up forever, and if they want to have healthy children and healthy pregnancies, they gotta lock a man quickly.
    They want to do things fast. One of them said, "If you're not marrying me in 1 calendar year, I'm not interested." Another said, "I'm interested in immediately having children." Mind you, these women are gorgeous and professionals that are in excellent position to be mothers. But come on, why would I want that kind of pressure immediately? I'm a human, not some job position you can immediately go after.
    I will say that they also get more realistic with their demands from men. They start realizing that the traits in men that they looked for in their 20s don't matter as much. A lot of people get wiser as they get older, less superficial, and so on.
    But in my experience, these are the main things that'll work most for men in their 30s: educated, good job, no kids, decent looks. The same things you want from a woman, they want from you. Forget about the women who are looking for super specific traits in a checklist the size of a CVS receipt.

    • @kenriehl7852
      @kenriehl7852 Рік тому +8

      I went through the same thing with a 26 year old school teacher when I was in my early 40s. I had a daughter of my own and was literally in the middle of a divorce myself. We had only been dating for a few weeks, and she was already pressuring me for when my divorce was going to be final, so that she could tell her parents that she was dating someone.

    • @tyronevonchadley
      @tyronevonchadley Рік тому +17

      Are you dating women in their 30s? Why??

    • @ATLBraves1992
      @ATLBraves1992 Рік тому +2

      Facts here

    • @avaliausd.
      @avaliausd. Рік тому +70

      ​@@tyronevonchadleyBecause their women?? What the heck? Lol Some of you men take this age thing too far. You act like 30 is 60.

    • @valentingartner3793
      @valentingartner3793 Рік тому +1

      How do you approach those women?

  • @michaelsantangelo7997
    @michaelsantangelo7997 Рік тому +384

    I'm 44. I was in a 7 year relationship in my 30s that included 5 years of marriage. My wife cheated on me when I was 40 so I left her. It's been rough. The last time I was single, dating was so different just because of technology. Smart phones were just coming out. There were no dating apps. Social media was in its infancy. I used to meet a lot of girls on the bus/train/ferry. Now everyone has their face in their smart phone. People are so much less approachable. I had zero luck with dating apps. I don't use social media other than UA-cam comments. We older guys remember a time when getting a girl's phone number actually meant something.

    • @johnl9977
      @johnl9977 11 місяців тому +45

      You know, unless you really want kids, make money, do your own thing, have fun and stay single. I've been married 14 years now. Good gal, does not cheat, but she is zero support, zero caring, zero encouraging but plenty of put downs and criticism. In other words, other than the kids, a big zero. Men give up way too much for what they get today. With American gals anyway, I've had friends that were happy with their filipina gals, they are more traditional. Believe it or not, they actually value men in their lives, not just use them.

    • @umapuma
      @umapuma 11 місяців тому +1

      @johnl9977 That sounds like you and your wife have A LOT of communication issues. Get a therapist, I don't mean that mean

    • @alb12345672
      @alb12345672 11 місяців тому

      @@johnl9977 100% better than dying alone.

    • @MomoTheDisciple
      @MomoTheDisciple 11 місяців тому +4

      lol get used to the future old man this is what we’ve been dealing with for years

    • @rgn87654
      @rgn87654 11 місяців тому +13

      @@johnl9977 Why are you married then? How is your dysfunctional marriage helping your children? I'm very confused.

  • @KreKeriS911
    @KreKeriS911 Рік тому +109

    I`m 30 male and after last breakup, I don`t care about dating anymore. Try to improve myself, lost a lot of weight, started reading and actually look into all relationships I had and mistakes I made. If something comes into future - great. If not well atleast I had fun.

    • @LordHolley
      @LordHolley Рік тому +10

      That's the best advice ever. My mother used to tell me, if you want a quality woman, you need to be a quality man.

    • @iRRichiee
      @iRRichiee Рік тому +9

      I do have to wonder. Is it mainly males who do such things at 30? Certainly feels like it....All im finding on dating apps at 31 is women with children instantly trying to lock me down into something as they realise they have made poor life choices. I feel like women over 30 still dont realise they could be the issue, whether its pickiness or baggage etc? What do you think?

    • @trublu849
      @trublu849 Рік тому +4

      You attract what you are. Best way to put it. Be your best self and do not chase, let them come to you. Be the magnet.

    • @KreKeriS911
      @KreKeriS911 Рік тому +15

      @@iRRichiee I would not date single mom. Had only one relationship with single mom, and it was really bad. Her ex was always in the picture and her children will always come first.

    • @SanVic
      @SanVic Рік тому +6

      @@iRRichiee "All im finding on dating apps at 31 is women with children instantly trying to lock me down into something as they realise they have made poor life choices." = 100% right

  • @blackfalcon1992
    @blackfalcon1992 9 місяців тому +28

    Whatever happened to a relationship having the understanding of give and take from both sides; not just, me, me, me!

  • @brandondelgado7731
    @brandondelgado7731 Рік тому +421

    I commented once about a friend who keeps changing partners constantly and other women who know her saying men were horrible with her. I said to this group of women, when the same issue reoccurs it may not be the different men but the common denominator that is at fault. If stares were daggers I’d be dead.

    • @Just_a_Lad
      @Just_a_Lad Рік тому +21

      And this is the moment when you got enemy for life :D

    • @bobleglob162
      @bobleglob162 Рік тому +40

      Nothing is ever their own fault.

    • @TerryProthero
      @TerryProthero Рік тому +35

      My youngest sister has had the worst luck with landlords and neighbors. She has gotten evicted numerous times for no legitimate reason at all. And she always finds herself living near the most terrible people possible. It seems like a weird coincidence that this could happen so many times in so many different locations. Do you think there might be some common thread that connects all these seemingly unrelated events?

    • @brandondelgado7731
      @brandondelgado7731 Рік тому +8

      @@TerryProthero it could be. Go about it from the most logical point of view you can. There are always some behavioral markers that can be found repeating time after time but most are overlooked. From the areas you want to rent at to the conversation you have when getting into areas or situations as well as the people you interact with. There is always the chance that she has just incredibly bad luck but many times it turns out to be the decisions we make that take us down specific paths. Or course you can take any comment no matter how unrelated it is to you and make it into something that triggers a response from you. We chose many of those one way or another.

    • @BWater-yq3jx
      @BWater-yq3jx Рік тому +7

      ​@@TerryProthero
      Finding a good rental is an art.
      For starters, I always take a walk around and see what the neighbors are like, even returning at different times of day; there are lots of indicators.
      Being kicked out more than once suggests some poor choices &/or behaviour.
      She definitely needs to have a close look at what she's doing.

  • @shadowwolfmandan
    @shadowwolfmandan Рік тому +253

    These videos do a good job reinforcing why I gave up dating and just do my own thing now. People forget, dating isn't fun for men.

    • @markmarcas6523
      @markmarcas6523 Рік тому +33

      That’s exactly why i watch them. It just further confirms that my decision of not dating is correct.

    • @AsurmenHandOfAsur
      @AsurmenHandOfAsur Рік тому +2

      Exactly. Women only have themselves to blame for the current dating market but won't take ACCOUNTABILITY for their INSANE standards!

    • @markmarcas6523
      @markmarcas6523 Рік тому +37

      @@AsurmenHandOfAsur i don’t think women care. I really don’t think they value men or relationships. They only care that their “needs” real or imagined are met.

    • @TerryProthero
      @TerryProthero Рік тому +16

      Being autistic, I didn't really know what I was doing when I started trying to date. And it was a disaster. But now as I learn more about it, I am becoming increasing glad that I am no longer pursuing it. It sounds completely terrible.

    • @deepvan9796
      @deepvan9796 Рік тому +19

      Dating for women is a free night out. Just get an escort - at least you'll get something out of it. :)

  • @randallsmith1664
    @randallsmith1664 Рік тому +242

    I love how the first woman proclaimed that she knows what she "brings to the table", then when asked what she brings, she says a couple of things that men don't care about, then spits and sputters before saying it's a "loaded question". Comical.

    • @Marivi247
      @Marivi247 11 місяців тому +26

      So you don’t care if the mother of your children has any education, intelligence, and ability to be financially stable? If men only care about looks they won’t help having children with abilities. Women who are intelligent and educated ofteb have children who become more successful and healthy

    • @attiumeyami417
      @attiumeyami417 11 місяців тому +18

      reminds me of the now hiring signs at minimum wage establishments.
      "come join something bigger than yourself"
      "fun, active environment"
      "be a part of a team!"
      in other words we bring nothing to the table

    • @MapHKid
      @MapHKid 10 місяців тому +10

      @@Marivi247 some men might only care about looks because they already got everything else and don't necessarily want kids.

    • @Milktube
      @Milktube 10 місяців тому +1

      @@Marivi247 The more "education" a woman has the higher the chance of infidelity and divorce. It's a very strong correlation. No woman has the ability to be financially stable, sure there is variation between different women, but it's nothing compared to a man's financial stability (men don't fall for impulse purchases or propaganda 100% of the time like women do, they can plan for the future, etc.) it's like comparing how well a dog can build a car compared to a man - it's just an entirely different world. As for intelligence, all women's brains stop developing at 14, it's the same as the financial stability, you are filtering for a woman who will do the least damage with her harmful ideas (because all of them have them).
      You have the correlation completely backwards with a woman's level of education and the health of her children. Higher educated are more likely to be single mothers, which are the most likely demographic to harm a child in the entire world, across all demographics and ages.

    • @Nempo13
      @Nempo13 10 місяців тому +27

      @@Marivi247 Men want women who are loving, caring, loyal. Interesting that YOU went to looks and not the other things, hm? Intelligence is great, but you can work on that. A loving, caring, loyal personality cannot be developed...it has to be there. A big part of that is having a low body count at any age.
      If you want treated like a lady, you have to BE a lady.

  • @TheIcecreamtaco
    @TheIcecreamtaco 10 місяців тому +56

    Dating gets harder as you get older because all the mentally and emotionally mature people pair off early on in adulthood. Meanwhile the unstable people of the world are more likely to stay single

    • @sistergoodstuff
      @sistergoodstuff 5 місяців тому +1

      And the ones who get divorced? What are they?

    • @TheIcecreamtaco
      @TheIcecreamtaco 5 місяців тому +7

      @@sistergoodstuff the people that feign sanity until you’re stuck with them

    • @howardroark3670
      @howardroark3670 5 місяців тому +4

      That's true for women but not necessarily for men. High value Alpha men stay single because there is little to no incentive to get married. There are literally no pros and many cons.

    • @shriekinambassador5042
      @shriekinambassador5042 4 місяці тому

      @@sistergoodstuff traumatized

    • @simpleasthat5349
      @simpleasthat5349 3 місяці тому

      Unstable people 😅😂😂.

  • @igorvujicic6566
    @igorvujicic6566 Рік тому +2111

    When a woman says "I'm ambitious", we men dont hear that they are capable, hardworking people, we hear "I'm going to nag you to death so you'll gather more wealth".

    • @nateo200
      @nateo200 Рік тому +151

      This x90000000000!!!! That sounds like something a dude would say and these types of women just aren't attractive to me romantically. Do I respect a girl with ambition that likes to compete to get more wealth? Sure but In the same way as I look at another guy.

    • @lockyp204
      @lockyp204 Рік тому +18

      Exactly

    • @russ9921
      @russ9921 Рік тому +101

      And then she’ll grab most of it as part of the divorce settlement.

    • @JohnSmith-ks5xw
      @JohnSmith-ks5xw Рік тому +115

      I find 'ambitious' women soooo unattractive. And I agree with your definition. Ambitious women notoriously intend to exploit men and look at men as a resource.

    • @ReallyRyan.
      @ReallyRyan. Рік тому +94

      I hear "I'm controlling and will be extremely annoying/bossy," whenever they list things off like that. The "boss babe" attitude is always an immediate turn off/red flag. I'm not dealing with some controlling woman that also feels the need to compete with me in every aspect of our lives or is constantly comparing me to other people and looking for reasons that I'm not good enough. I've seen enough of that type of woman and I want no part of that ever.

  • @jakebushey5333
    @jakebushey5333 Рік тому +57

    I think a lot of women want to have fun in their 20s with Fboys and want a good guy that they ignored in their 30s. No malice towards women here. Just my observation.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  Рік тому +28

      Unfortunately I do tend to agree. Not all women of course, but enough to observe it frequently lol

    • @kumarjr1696
      @kumarjr1696 Рік тому +7

      ​@CourtneyRyan and it's why men after 30 date younger. Since basically they also know that these women at that age only like you because the men They actually want won't settle for them. Why be second place in her mind and soul. Leads to future misery.

    • @wildprodigy
      @wildprodigy Рік тому +9

      For both men and women, If you aren't first, you're last. Never let anybody make you feel like you are option number 2, 3, 4. If it seems like that, do yourself a favor and remove yourself from the equation

    • @godpilled9077
      @godpilled9077 Рік тому +18

      Men do the same, they want to see their wild oat whatever that means and then get mad that a 20 year old virgin doesn't want them when they are 40 and want to settle down.

    • @mimia.4810
      @mimia.4810 Рік тому +8

      This isn’t true. I wish more of you redpilled dudes would be honest. I’m a woman in my 20s. Myself and most of my friends are serious about commitment. Hell, I don’t know a single woman (regardless of age) that prefers to be casually dated as opposed to having a boyfriend/husband. The real problem is, most young men are taught to run from commitment and instead spend their youth sowing their oats. It’s men that are taught to have fun then settle. Women have always been taught to prioritize serious commitment. If you notice young women giving up on that pursuit it’s because they realized boys their age aren’t serious.

  • @DiscoverRay
    @DiscoverRay Рік тому +59

    Discovered your page a couple months back. Even as a married man I love your styling and fragrance recommendations. Makes my life easier. 🙌🏾

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  Рік тому +14

      So glad to hear it! Thanks for being here 🥰

  • @theharshtruth8563
    @theharshtruth8563 9 місяців тому +40

    I quit dating about 18 years ago. I chose to just focus on my own happiness.
    My mortgage is completely paid for as of 2015 and I run my own successful
    business.
    I'm fit, healthy (mentally & spiritually) and financially secure. I'm not about to
    trade any of that in for a woman who was nowhere to be found during that
    journey to achieve all of it. My peace of mind isn't for sale.

    • @brett103
      @brett103 9 місяців тому +1

      Gotta love all these humble brags 😂

    • @WillieTonka
      @WillieTonka 9 місяців тому +9

      @@brett103 It only sounds like 'bragging' to those who didn't plan
      for the future like he did. Are you envious? 😉

    • @brett103
      @brett103 9 місяців тому +1

      @@WillieTonka You’re a presumptuous little fella, aren’t you? lol. No. Its broadcasting claimed achievements that shows insecurity.

    • @WillieTonka
      @WillieTonka 9 місяців тому +7

      @@brett103 Your tears are so delicious. Vanilla soy pumpkin spice with fruity rainbow sprinkles. yum yum moar plz.

    • @brett103
      @brett103 9 місяців тому

      @@WillieTonka Well you’re definitely deranged 🤣

  • @mintyaroma987
    @mintyaroma987 Рік тому +188

    A big issue for guys these days is Hoeflation. We need to work far harder than our fathers and father's fathers for a much lower quality of woman, hence why many of us just don't care anymore,
    If you're reading this as a single woman who wants to be in a relationship, be less demanding and work on yourself so you are not such a turn-off to men, rather than demanding that men cater to your whims and giving little in return!

    • @kazuma7232
      @kazuma7232 Рік тому +14

      Hoeflation, now that's a brand new word!

    • @JeffCaplan313
      @JeffCaplan313 Рік тому +12

      ​@@kazuma7232But it describes the problem superbly. 👌

    • @Eserr7856
      @Eserr7856 Рік тому +15

      Wow, hoeflation...Could it also be the type of women you keep pursuing and then blame all women for being the same?

    • @machupikachu1085
      @machupikachu1085 Рік тому +18

      @@Eserr7856 point out where he said "all women". We'll wait.

    • @wellyforpm
      @wellyforpm Рік тому +2

      ​@@kazuma7232it was, in 2018....

  • @ajtaylor8750
    @ajtaylor8750 Рік тому +404

    Interviewer: *"Did money used to have a big importance when you were younger?"*
    Woman: *"Yes."*
    Interviewer: *"What changed?"*
    Woman: *"I grew up."*
    That's real right there. Being able to recognize that with maturity comes a sense of reality. We know that how much money a man makes definitely matters to women in their 20s, but as you get older especially if you make your own money a woman definitely should start understanding that there are way more important things than that.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  Рік тому +36

      Amen Aaron!

    • @scmsean
      @scmsean Рік тому +31

      Money is the main reason for divorce. If 1 person is making a lot more then the other it will lead to resentment. I think this is more women get desperate as they get older.

    • @Renatogabriel1221
      @Renatogabriel1221 Рік тому +14

      Money is also a reason a lot of men I kno aren’t even gettin into relationships/marriage… some ppl just have a money disease

    • @AlexanderSkinnerVids
      @AlexanderSkinnerVids Рік тому +21

      Why does the “growing up” process take so long for some people? It’s almost as if being physically attractive prevents people from maturing and growing up.

    • @rambogaming2497
      @rambogaming2497 Рік тому

      @@scmseanit would be kids depending on one’s situation

  • @AllanRochez
    @AllanRochez Рік тому +157

    The girl with the 26+ list of requirements really had me in the first half and then she just kept going and getting more delusional and unrealistic as the list went on smh ha

    • @dukke888
      @dukke888 Рік тому +24

      She will never find a partner and will end up having 42 cats growing old alone.

    • @pace1195
      @pace1195 Рік тому +28

      @@dukke888 One cat's name will be "Arm Muscles". One cat's name will be "Good Shoe Game". One cat's name will be "Bonus Italian". I'm sure her list will get up to 42+ by then.

    • @AlwaysUp50
      @AlwaysUp50 Рік тому +13

      Her very first requirement eliminated 85% of men.... Your tripping

    • @MrJx4000
      @MrJx4000 Рік тому +6

      @@dukke888, I feel sorry for the cats ;-(

    • @sarge-T.O.
      @sarge-T.O. Рік тому +1

      No problem, she wants 8 dudes. Easy.

  • @manuelhernandez2017
    @manuelhernandez2017 Рік тому +45

    LMAO 🤣 the face you made when she said she brings her "success in my career" to the table 😅😂😅 i saw that, that look you gave killed me!!!

  • @scottclark3761
    @scottclark3761 Рік тому +101

    That last one with the young girls....What stuck out for me was the "Can't be jealous, lets me do whatever I want." No. This isn't a relationship. Relationships have boundaries. They are not unconditional love...they are rather conditional. If he's not a little jealous, and you can go drinking with a bunch of guy friends and wind up in bed with one....yeah...that's something he should care about. If you want to go to the club every night..then yeah. That might be an issue. If you want to wear skimpy clothing to a club in a bad neighborhood that is known for women being attacked, I am going to say something. Obviously, all this can be taken too far. Rules for Thee but never for ME isn't a relationship, either. But if you're not willing to sacrifice anything....that's an issue.

    • @Withernall
      @Withernall Рік тому +1

      The way she phrased "can't be jealous, lets me do whatever I want" reads more like libido, not love.

    • @butcho7492
      @butcho7492 Рік тому

      She will end up old and alone.

    • @Withernall
      @Withernall Рік тому +3

      @@butcho7492 For *her* sake I hope she grows up and realises what her attitude represents.

    • @epbrown01
      @epbrown01 Рік тому +3

      My first thought was to wonder how many of these requirements don't apply to her. I'm betting the majority.

    • @margoknees1681
      @margoknees1681 Рік тому

      And she wants an Italian man. They are extremely jealous as well as macho.

  • @ravendronesolutions
    @ravendronesolutions Рік тому +94

    As a 32 year old married guy who has lived both the bachelor and married life, I can say these things from my perspective. Most women today have a dualistic sexual strategy, usually in their 20s they are winning in the dating game and men aren’t. So when men start to level up, they wanna make up for the lost time and also since men are not required to court women like they used to because sex is almost free nowadays, we are just reacting to the current situation. Men are masters at adapting, so we only react to what women allow. We see women get attracted to the Fboy or the guy with commitment issues so we become that. We see the nice guy get totally played so we avoid becoming that. Also with modern feminism being rife in society today, we don’t wanna be shunned for being more traditional men (modern women only want traditional values when it suits them). So ladies, it’s not the men, it’s (mostly) you.

    • @1stMarDiv4341
      @1stMarDiv4341 Рік тому +13

      I just turned 40, and can honestly say dating has gotten far, far easier for me as I’ve aged. When you’re a man in his 20s, the women in the same age range typically go for the older men with more security, finances, and life experience - and I don’t necessarily blame them for this. However, once we reach our mid-late 30s we’ve now (hopefully) become that older man.
      Ergo, at 40 my dating pool is the largest it’s ever been. I can still attract women in their 20s, but also women around my age as well as older women. On the flip side, it becomes exponentially harder for women to date because we have so many more options.
      From a credible study I read recently: the age women peak in terms of desirability? 18. For men? 50.
      That’s a 32 year difference.

    • @75Chopin
      @75Chopin Рік тому +5

      Yup - men who are married in general are more attractive as they have all these good attributes eg confidence, wealth wisdom… but then they are usually not available which can make them even more attractive. Hence there will inevitably ne affairs etc…..

    • @FischerFan
      @FischerFan Рік тому +2

      @@1stMarDiv4341 I heard, years ago, that a woman's peak age was 29!
      Anyway, I'm 56 and am a member of folk dance group and one of the ladies in the group, who is 48, has three adult daughters who are, or have been, in the group. The two older ones, both 25 and under, are very nice to me. They both showed up during an annual festival the past two years and were delighted to see me and hugged me when they did.
      I guess it pays to stay clean-shaven and youthful faced!

    • @1stMarDiv4341
      @1stMarDiv4341 Рік тому +1

      @@FischerFan personally, I think 18 is way too young for a woman to peak and don’t really agree, but it’s well-known that men age far more graciously than women.
      And good for you! I’m 40 but regularly get mistaken for early 30s. Avoiding the sun, hydrating, a good skincare routine, and eating plenty of unprocessed foods makes a world of difference!

    • @FischerFan
      @FischerFan Рік тому

      @@1stMarDiv4341 It has been said, 'Men age gracefully. Women just get old.'.
      Thanks for the good feedback. About a decade before I joined the dance troupe that I'm presently a member of, I had been involved in another dance group and in a totally different type of dancing.
      Most of the ladies in that group were reasonable, but there were a few attitudes/drama queens who just had to be problematic.
      I have yet to encounter that from any of the ladies in the current dance group.

  • @ianwynne764
    @ianwynne764 Рік тому +93

    Hello Courtney: Many years ago, I met a guy who said that men who have sisters are better at talking to women than men without sisters. On the other hand, my own sisters are enough to put anyone off women. Stay well and safe.

    • @rerite2
      @rerite2 Рік тому +4

      LOL, spot on. I have 3 older sisters and growing up as the youngest kid what I saw them do to each other and to men makes the "sisters" requirement hilarious. SMH but LOL, too.

    • @davidw.5185
      @davidw.5185 Рік тому +5

      I have two sisters and it's a shit show...😂

    • @ajl278
      @ajl278 Рік тому +10

      4 sisters here. And while I’d say it hasn’t helped me get girls (sisterly advice growing up was to be a ‘nice guy’ 🤦‍♂️), I am very proficient in weeding out low quality women.

    • @cadamham
      @cadamham Рік тому +1

      Are their parents still happily married?

    • @leonniceday6807
      @leonniceday6807 9 місяців тому

      2 elder sisters here. It's a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I am more aware how full of sh*t women are, how fake can be. But also how they think and how to think more like them; that can help. On the other hand, means having no good role model for masculinity, and they have not been good at all as any sort of "wingwoman", or being supportive of me as a man. They still seem to side more with women than their own brother , LOL

  • @craigcarter400
    @craigcarter400 Рік тому +12

    I was married from 28-38 to my ex with two stepdaughters that will both be adults as of this week. When the 2nd one turns 18, I’ll keep in contact with her as well as her older sister. After the divorce, I moved to the Southwest and just enjoyed being concentrated on me and doing what I wanted to do. I knew what red flags to watch out for and had patience on finding any new partner. Several months later, I started to talk to someone a state over that read the same Facebook post. After a couple weeks of messaging and hours long phone calls back and forth I made the 7 hour drive to physically meet her. We’ve been together ever since, 10 months as of earlier this week. She is 21 months older than me but that’s definitely ok with me.

  • @alexisesguerra2544
    @alexisesguerra2544 Рік тому +227

    My wife n I have been happily together 22 years because we both align with one basic concept - RESPECT EACH OTHER. Literally, every positive aspect of our relationship, be it “trying what she wants even if it’s not my thing” or “her not making me feel like an idiot when I make a dumb mistake” stems from that single requirement!!! It literally leaves me speechless to see how so many individuals don’t get that!!!

    • @markmarcas6523
      @markmarcas6523 Рік тому +7

      You got lucky. You haven’t discovered anything magical. There are very few good females.

    • @amandahawes3154
      @amandahawes3154 Рік тому +10

      I am happy for your long and wonderful marriage may it last forever:)

    • @everythingisfine9988
      @everythingisfine9988 Рік тому +9

      Finding mutual respect with someone... It's a bit like finding a unicorn

    • @ronh1850
      @ronh1850 Рік тому +12

      25 years married (30 total) to an amazing woman, and mother. After becoming aware of the trainwreck that is modern women, no way am I ever taking my marriage for granted ever again. Let's honor these exceptional women by always striving to be our best selves.

    • @jwigley3835
      @jwigley3835 Рік тому +2

      Good for you but you haven't unraveled any type of mystery. You just found a woman that wants to be married and stay married. That's not the majority and I guess you could say that you got lucky.

  • @Silver99_YT
    @Silver99_YT Рік тому +115

    dating gets harder as you get older ins the sense that you avoid things that you know dont work for you in your life. When youre young everything is new and exciting, and youll give almost anyone a chance, but much like your circle of friends, the tolerance for who you let into your life narrows.

    • @andremotivation6561
      @andremotivation6561 Рік тому +12

      I just hit 30 and the thing that's challenge is the the amount of women around my age that already have kids or are bitter from the bad choices they've made..I dont want to be a step dad or therapist.

    • @enmodelife
      @enmodelife Рік тому +2

      Perfectly said!

    • @The-Oneness11
      @The-Oneness11 Рік тому +1

      I am in a long term relationship now but I agree that as you get older you become more self-aware and know what you want vs what you don't want. But I didn't necessarily judge that as making dating harder. While I was dating I actually preferred dating in my 30's than in my 20's.

    • @The-Oneness11
      @The-Oneness11 Рік тому +6

      ​@@andremotivation6561Of course most women have children by the age of 30. Fertility decreases after the age of 35 so it wouldn't be the best idea for a woman who wants to be a mother to wait till after 30 to start to try to have children. Since you're 30, you should seek out women in their twenties anyways.

    • @DefinitelyNotBender
      @DefinitelyNotBender Рік тому +2

      My tolerance is at Zero. And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

  • @Shah-of-the-Shinebox
    @Shah-of-the-Shinebox Рік тому +65

    Being in your twenties is such a frustrating time and attempting to date makes it harder. I'm 32 now and I won't go too out of the way to date, I feel I got nothing to lose, I just enjoy single life.

    • @batzgameguru
      @batzgameguru Рік тому +8

      Right on king

    • @eddieanthony6886
      @eddieanthony6886 Рік тому

      Shah dating isn't designed to work in a woman's favor after age 30. Also keep in mind men in their 20s have no money!! Women in their 20s own the dating market but it switches after age 30.🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @Eserr7856
      @Eserr7856 Рік тому +6

      I'm 35 and single and I actually feel the most confident I've ever felt in my life, I feel extremely secure and I know my self-worth based on alot of hard work and blessings in my life. I feel less anxious, insecure, and pressure than I did in my teens and twenties looking for a gf without knowing and loving myself. I feel free and confident, and I'm certain that I will attract the woman I deserve one day. Stay strong king 🤴

    • @danwarner7816
      @danwarner7816 Рік тому

      Fine dude you do you. Just find nowadays got internet and stupid reality shows like love island that makes it difficult for average man. I'm not saying give up on dating just realise times are changing & not everything goes way ppl want it to anymore

  • @B3DFire
    @B3DFire 11 місяців тому +6

    I liked your video and subscribed. I like your approach when discussing this. I found it very empathetic. You didnt chastise the women or men, but instead discussed their point a view with kindness. Thankyou. Many channels usually make fun of people who respond and I think thats unfair. We are living in a world where there is a lot of broken hearts etc, and kidness is the light that will help people move forward. Good job

  • @Mario88881000
    @Mario88881000 Рік тому +74

    Thank Courtney! Yes! Do one about men and dating as we get older. I'm 48 and just went through a bitter divorce. We have 3 kids and I plan to spend the next 2 years working on re-building myself, my career and being there for my kids. I'm still deeply hurt and can't bring anything to a relationship right now. Still, I WANT a good woman and serious commitment at some point. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Thank you! 🙏🏼🙂

    • @YesPlease1
      @YesPlease1 Рік тому +1

      Sorry to hear you're going through that, brother. That sounds messy and frustrating. You deserve a loving partner though and I trust that you will find it after you get through this. Brighter skies are ahead :)

    • @reanschwarzer2187
      @reanschwarzer2187 Рік тому +12

      Just don’t get married again learn the lesson

    • @lesterdiamond6190
      @lesterdiamond6190 Рік тому +12

      In one day, I had two guys describe how their ex wives pulled the rug out from under their lives, and then a friend texted me to say that he found out his girlfriend has been cheating on him while he’s been out of town working.
      3 guys in ONE DAY!
      No wonder guys are opting out altogether.

    • @MountaineerChemist10
      @MountaineerChemist10 Рік тому +6

      I’m with you bro. 36 turning 37 in July & just filed for divorce with my ex wife. Been trying online dating recently. Only problem is last time I dated other women was almost 10 years ago! Dating has become SO different compared to now. Idk, it seemed so simple & easy in HS, college & your first few years as a professional. But now? It’s like you’re on thin ice! Make the slightest wrong move & you’re doomed 😫

    • @reanschwarzer2187
      @reanschwarzer2187 Рік тому

      @@MountaineerChemist10 27 yep be glad you even got to date like that in high school it’s like pulling teeth today you wanna go dancing and have a nice dinner they act like you just said you were gonna pelt her with rocks 😂

  • @arewestilldoingphrasing6490
    @arewestilldoingphrasing6490 Рік тому +122

    The guy brought a great point about the man being established. From what I see is that if a man goes a long time without companionship or had to go through a lot to build himself up without female support, or had so much taken from him from a female that guy more than likely to not settle down. He worked his ass to get to where he is and isnt going to let a woman leech or "build" with him because he built himself. And he knows he can do better and doesnt mind being single for a long time

    • @andremotivation6561
      @andremotivation6561 Рік тому +15

      Young attractive 18-25 will say the same damn thing, "I can do whatever I want to do" women are in their prime at that age. Men hit their prime at their mid 30s and older. Why should they settle down all of sudden??..

    • @nicolebelanger6692
      @nicolebelanger6692 Рік тому +6

      I relate to everything you just said...but I'm a women; it's such a hard thing for all the reasons you said regardless of being a male vs female

    • @protorhinocerator142
      @protorhinocerator142 Рік тому +7

      Women don't want the 22 yo guy with ambition who currently lives in a small apartment and eats ramen noodles.
      They want the same guy who is 42 who accomplished much with nothing and is now successful.
      Women want to wait at the finish line for winners. They have no interest in doing the hard work to get them to the finish line.

    • @DeadCat-42
      @DeadCat-42 Рік тому +10

      Most men who hit 30 have already given up on women .
      What would a man want with an old must likely obese women? Sex is out and children are out .
      Spend money and be treated like crap for a women you don't want to have sex with.?
      Why?

    • @somethingawesome1462
      @somethingawesome1462 Рік тому +1

      @@protorhinocerator142 and then think it’s wrong when those same men will use women, just like those women are using them.

  • @NinjaKuma
    @NinjaKuma Рік тому +22

    First girl mentioned all the things a girl thinks guys want. She's wrong.
    They want looks & compatability (if they want a relationship). And all other things being equal, they'll go for the younger girl.

  • @BlackRageInfinity
    @BlackRageInfinity Рік тому +7

    That third girl's list of expectations was a total rollercoaster right up until #20 where it just kept going down and soon plummeted beneath the surface of the Earth. I feel like a LOT of her current expectations were built off of whatever happened in that last relationship she was in and maybe a few of the preceding ones as well.

    • @MapHKid
      @MapHKid 10 місяців тому

      Probably because it's a list of requirements for men she's not attracted to.

  • @lawrence31415
    @lawrence31415 Рік тому +74

    Definitely do a video about the male perspective.
    I am 27 and single. I dated during most of my 20s. From my experience, it was challenging since I met most of those women through dating apps. Looking back, the positive relationships I had were with the women that I did not meet on the apps.
    I am currently taking a break from dating to focus on finalizing my education and to get ready to start my career. I am happy with that decision since I am starting to see the fruits of success. Eventually, I will get back into dating because I want a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship with a woman. I hope and dream that I will meet a woman who wants the same thing, and who was also serious about her career goals and education. I don't know if dating will become more challenging for me, but I do know that I am not going to give up!

    • @Yelluz
      @Yelluz Рік тому +17

      An idealistic perception of modern women is very, very dangerous for men. Be under no illusions, a woman will be interested in you for as long as you have resources she can utilise and/or benefit from. The moment you lose your job, get sick, or whatever, she'll be off. And that's if she hasn't monkeybranched to a "better option" before. I had a similar outlook to you a few years back, and appreciate that the advice is probably not welcome, but look after and improve yourself first and foremost and be incredibly wary of any woman who comes into your life.

    • @trnovsky33
      @trnovsky33 Рік тому

      If you want nice relationship than remove dating apps there you wind damaged goods.

    • @oliverbanter1865
      @oliverbanter1865 Рік тому +4

      Exact same experience as me then.
      27 but now in a relationship.
      I played the field on dating apps successfully but none of them were overall positive experiences. The only ones that I actually liked were from night game cold approach.

    • @snowbear163
      @snowbear163 Рік тому +1

      I did a lot of online dating and I found that if it was a paid site, like Match, I got less total dates but much better quality people. When it was a free app, I got more dates but the quality was bad and more women just wanted to 'test the waters' or play around and check temperatures as opposed to being committed to finding a partner. Looking bad I think it was a good experience using the free apps, as in dating practice and perspective, but all the good people were from paid sites.

    • @spacexbrawler
      @spacexbrawler Рік тому +1

      ​@@YelluzUnfortunately there's a lot of women who view the man providing for them as part of the "transaction".
      But it's not all women, definitely not me. I built a career so I could provide for myself and focus on meeting the right person for the right reasons. I think it's unfortunate many men and women would leave a partner for such shallow reasons... That is not love.

  • @jackmetcalfe8542
    @jackmetcalfe8542 Рік тому +259

    It's difficult to explain just how easy dating has become for me since turning 30. Once I put the link to my property development company website on dating apps the number of girls messaging was so overwhelming I took myself off the apps. Adding that literally 10x the number of matches I got
    During the last few months I've met over 50 girls, and had to put a stop to it as I wasn't getting anything else done
    The response I got once it was clear I have money was the final nail in the coffin of how I see women - most are opportunistic gold diggers, fine for a few casual meets but adding precious little value to my life beyond that

    • @LeoRegum
      @LeoRegum Рік тому +65

      I don't want to disagree too hard, but it's not just the money. If you have set up a business, you have proven you have a lot of other qualities which are rare, so there is low risk of you being a bad pick. You also bring her instant social prestige. The question is what does she bring.

    • @jasonwilkins1969
      @jasonwilkins1969 Рік тому +23

      I think opportunistic Golddigger is a bit too cynical. Yes, there probably are some people who are golddiggers but the reality is having a portfolio of rental properties means that you don’t necessarily have a job, but have access to income. Yes, I know there is some labor involved, but you are not generally speaking trading time for income.
      In other words, you offer something much greater, and that is options. For instance, I run my own law practice. Going on vacation is stressful for me because it means leaving my work. For you, particularly if you are utilizing property management companies, this really isn’t as much of a concern. Therefore, the option of being able to travel or enjoy their remote working life with you is an option.

    • @jackmetcalfe8542
      @jackmetcalfe8542 Рік тому +27

      @@jasonwilkins1969 I do agree with you on this - girls want a man who has a good life which he enjoys and she can be a part of
      My point is that I found dating apps pretty tough, like most guys, but when I decided to flex and lead with the money, it all became super easy

    • @jackmetcalfe8542
      @jackmetcalfe8542 Рік тому +19

      @@LeoRegum Good question. Something a girl did recently that really impressed me was cooking for me and my construction workers, I gave her money to buy ingredients and she made a delicious meal
      The guys really appreciated it, she saved me a lot of time and it made my life easier

    • @jasonmarchant4525
      @jasonmarchant4525 Рік тому +38

      like my dad always said "the type of fish you attract depends on what kind of bait you use."

  • @ApexofWar_
    @ApexofWar_ Рік тому +38

    The value of physical appearance and fitness is so understated these days. People don't want to put in the work, but they want someone who has and then blame the dating culture on their lack of success.
    You might be an absolute catch. But if the people you are attracted to aren't attracted to you, they won't be willing to find out.

    • @la6136
      @la6136 Рік тому +7

      Yes. There are so many men who could be great boyfriends and husbands but they do not work on their physical appearance AT ALL. They show up looking like a troll and wonder why women are not attracted to them.

    • @a_jt96
      @a_jt96 Рік тому

      ​@@la6136and then you have people that look nice but aren't " fun "
      Your pretty much screwed
      And then when you date someone you can't really know how they will treat you
      Many woman make the mistake of falling for the fun guy because he made her feel " pretty"
      And woman swear their intuition is the guide to a healthy relationship..

    • @Bloodcurling
      @Bloodcurling Рік тому

      Golden basic knowledge

    • @gregkareem9824
      @gregkareem9824 8 місяців тому

      ​@@la6136 um proof ? That goes for woman actually 💀 who wears makeup to make themselves look better ? Men or woman ? Woman ? Who uses filters all the time on filters men or woman? Woman smh nothing but a ad homeman burden proof of fallacy Hitchens razor nice try tho

    • @derekp6636
      @derekp6636 6 місяців тому

      @@la6136 lmao that goes both ways.....look at the number of wives that decide they dont need to "try' for their husband.

  • @sherwin4ever
    @sherwin4ever Рік тому +4

    This real talk will save a lot of hearts from a lot of pain. Nice video! 😉

  • @spade2you
    @spade2you Рік тому +100

    I have talked to a LOT of women and went on dates with a bunch. Only 1 admitted she caused the divorce by cheating. "My ex was a narcissist, control freak, had mental issues, cheated, etc." One or two simply claimed that they grew apart. It took a few vids like this to realize that I was being fed a line or two.

    • @mediocreman2
      @mediocreman2 Рік тому +13

      I've dated so many divorced women I've lost track. Most of them say their ex was the problem, a narcissist etc. I run when they say that now.

    • @spade2you
      @spade2you Рік тому +3

      @@mediocreman2 So....all of them?

    • @protorhinocerator142
      @protorhinocerator142 Рік тому +6

      @@mediocreman2 It's a standard thing they say to make it look like they aren't horrible monsters who divorce good guys when they get bored of them.
      Nobody calls them on their BS, so they keep saying it.

    • @kevinleewilliams5119
      @kevinleewilliams5119 11 місяців тому +2

      When are people going to just say marriage isn't natural and that only people who actually have faith in God should get married, man or women, of course you'll break your oath to God when you have no belief in him, that's a lot of women that have no true faith. The strongest men in history did not just marry one woman, they had hundreds.

    • @LisaFenton-h7f
      @LisaFenton-h7f 10 місяців тому

      Yeah,. it's MEN who are perfect,. never cheat, never have mental problems or anger mangem,ent issues. It's always "that bitches' fault", right? BOTH men & women can screw up a marriage.

  • @PhillyCh3zSt3ak
    @PhillyCh3zSt3ak Рік тому +69

    Here's my list for what I want in a woman as requirements:
    1. Isn't morbidly obese because I want a long life with her without the medical complications that brings.
    2. End goal of the relationship is marriage and kids with lots of bedroom intimacy to achieve that.
    3. Respects me as an individual, my hobbies, and my friends and won't make me abandon them when they're a positive influence in my life.
    4. Respects my money and is responsible with hers (when dating) as well as my own.
    That's it. I do have preferences but they're not deal breakers such as having 1:1 shared hobbies, hair color, ethnicity, etc. because at the end of the day what matters is that our goals are compatible and aligned.

    • @467076
      @467076 Рік тому +3

      Well on the hair color one are you talking about real hair color or just hair color in general. Because if you don't care about hair color, I'll steer you away from the blue ones, because they don't believe in any of those lol

    • @zacharybigger4144
      @zacharybigger4144 Рік тому

      Hey that looks a lot like my list. I've been told it's super unrealistic and controlling!

    • @pyhead9916
      @pyhead9916 11 місяців тому +1

      LOL - no woman is interested in any of that. You have 4 items, they have 300.

    • @MRFLOPPYmr
      @MRFLOPPYmr 11 місяців тому

      @@zacharybigger4144 Yeah thats the list for all of us guys. Yet, no female fits that list. It's like searchin for a rainbow puking unicorn pegasus but all there is are horses. Use the horses for what they can provide. Stop seearching for mystical animals and focus on yourself 👍

    • @kevinleewilliams5119
      @kevinleewilliams5119 11 місяців тому +2

      You lost her at wanting to build a relationship toward marriage, the type of men women want typically do not openly say that because they are sought after by many women and saying that is like saying many women don't want to be your wife, which isn't attractive. Like when a woman says she doesn't want kids, no, she does, just has to be with HIM before she does, once she's with HIM, then she'll be ready for kids. Men of high value do that to women, but with marriage.

  • @itsshierlz
    @itsshierlz Рік тому +21

    There are a lot of people with insecure attachment in the dating pool (both men and women), and the older you get, the higher the percentage of those with insecure attachment style because all the secure ones tend to have paired up. I think everyone needs to work on healing their attachment wounds and becoming more secure in themselves. The more secure you are, the less likely you'll attract/be attracted to insecure types, and even if you don't find anyone your life will be all the better for it. It was the biggest life changer for me, and I'm in a happy healthy relationship for the first time in my life. According to research, most divorces are due to insecure attachment from either both or one of the partners. Most secure couples tend to stay together.

    • @JonGarrett001
      @JonGarrett001 9 місяців тому

      A lot of guys just dont give a crap anymore. It has nothing to do with that in many cases.

    • @michaelsix9684
      @michaelsix9684 8 місяців тому +2

      brilliant analysis, I checked into that, and it clearly affected me

    • @saintejeannedarc9460
      @saintejeannedarc9460 7 місяців тому

      @@JonGarrett001 No say you don't care, but you have nothing to offer but a crap attitude.

  • @Asbjoern_Midlander
    @Asbjoern_Midlander Рік тому +4

    Love your videoes -You present the subjects so well freshly, with your own point of views + at the same time maturely, its great

  • @Withernall
    @Withernall Рік тому +15

    Watching this videos makes me reflect on my own preferences, and it's making me realise that I'm not looking for a particular trait or whatnot out of... well, preference, but out of life-long deficiencies. This realisation is something I need to work with so that I don't... well, settle for less, or worse, make *her* settle for (even) less.

  • @michaelmcgrath3581
    @michaelmcgrath3581 Рік тому +11

    I love these videos. Courtney has an old head on young shoulders. I'm actually middle-aged but I find it interesting seeing how difficult things have gotten for guys in the dating market. I feel for you bros.

  • @MattFromAmerica
    @MattFromAmerica Рік тому +54

    It really has become easier to date as I have become older. My current GF is 12 years younger than me. We recently got into a bit of a tiff because I wasn't playing games. She thought I didn't care about her trying to anger me, as a prank. I told her, that she's being ridiculous, I don't acknowledge the games because I don't want to play them. She apologized and we moved forward. I explained that she's only 25, I have seen it before, we laughed about it. She just gets so many things that American women do not get. I love her.

    • @Mario88881000
      @Mario88881000 Рік тому +7

      Good for you Bro! All happiness to you both. 🤜🏽

    • @mafp22w
      @mafp22w Рік тому +16

      It does get easier for men but much harder for women.

    • @konstantinrebrov675
      @konstantinrebrov675 Рік тому +1

      She was trying to anger you? What a toxic woman! Get away from her.

    • @TheTrickyTwix
      @TheTrickyTwix Рік тому +3

      Yo with full respect it sounds like you two are at VERY different points in life and in mental/emotional development. A 12 year age gap is one thing but you are basically dating a teenager in a 25 year olds body, as a 37 year old. If I may give my honest opinion that relationship is toxic, predatory, unhealthy, or bound to fail. If not now, then this will develop with time. Be careful.

    • @juangal7569
      @juangal7569 Рік тому

      I may not know y'all's situation but congrats on that bro!

  • @koset
    @koset 7 місяців тому +1

    I’m in my 50s, married, not in the dating pool, or hope to ever be again. However, your channel intrigues me! You’re very insightful. 🎉

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  7 місяців тому

      Thank you my friend! So glad you’re here 🥰

  • @McLuvinUK
    @McLuvinUK Рік тому +5

    I’ve just discovered this channel and that third clip…her reaction to that video is classic “Good luck” I’m dying over here. Recently single too after a long term (20 year) relationship and getting into the dating game now is absolutely wild

  • @SylviaBrown-g3c
    @SylviaBrown-g3c Рік тому +91

    If I ever get in a relationship with a woman again, I'm going to be like, "ok, here's the deal. You're going to hold me to the same standards you hold yourself to. Far too many times it's been a "I can but you can't" situation.

    • @harvey2539
      @harvey2539 Рік тому +1

      That part

    • @SunnySummer777
      @SunnySummer777 Рік тому +6

      But we both can't be stay-at-home parents at the same time

    • @jackfavvv0280
      @jackfavvv0280 Рік тому

      For example?

    • @SylviaBrown-g3c
      @SylviaBrown-g3c Рік тому +2

      I'm talking about things like specific rules being set for you, but the person you're with doesn't have to follow it. Like, I was once told "if you can't let me be myself, I can't be with you." Same person wouldn't let me be MYSELF.
      Another example... Being told "that's your job" when it comes to household chores, then them wanting you to do THEIR chores.

    • @jackfavvv0280
      @jackfavvv0280 Рік тому +1

      @@SylviaBrown-g3c I see. I though they were things that were more severe like, "I get to still date other people and you can't" or "I get to smoke and you can't", etc.

  • @debow44
    @debow44 Рік тому +17

    I wish every woman would come across your channel and just see what it is actually like. Why we really do not want to date them when they think they offer so much but to us it is really nothing.I am on two dating apps and I am here to tell you 99% of women are all the same. I have talked to thousands (not exaggerating will provide proof if needed) of women and I have yet to find one that is any different than the rest. Courtney is definitely a one-of-a-kind type of woman. I am definitely described as what most women "want" I am: 6'0, make 100k a year, am very physically fit, and have multiple hobbies and a variety of interests due to being a perfectionist I obsess over everything to be great at it. But, most women answer like the first woman when it comes to me asking what they bring to the table, and if I hear "Well you should be with me bc I am pretty" one more time while they have nothing but fake lips, cheeks, tons of makeup and eyelashes it irks me so bad bc you scream no self-confidence when you have made your entire face fake. Don't even get me started on the women who can not cook or even keep up with basic house chores (I live on my own and do this weekly bc I think it should be split between the two parties).

  • @wheelzwheela
    @wheelzwheela 10 місяців тому +7

    Let’s not pretend that women look as good at 32 or 42 as they did at 22. THAT is a big factor.

  • @Muckylittleme
    @Muckylittleme Рік тому +97

    Not only were that young woman's demand ludicrously excessive and self entitled but the incredible hubris and narcissism she portrayed in believing that she was worthy of whatever she demanded without any self awareness was the real eye opener.
    If I were all those things she wanted and actually found her attractive I still wouldn't go near her with a 20 foot barge pole!
    What a terrible human being.

    • @gbsailing9436
      @gbsailing9436 11 місяців тому

      She's so thin she wouldn't be able to take a barge pole. You win!

    • @NelsonHopp
      @NelsonHopp 11 місяців тому +5

      I'm 21/27 on her list and agreed, wouldn't go anywhere near that. WTF, I'm never allowed to object to what she's doing? Obviously she has no clue how a relationship works. I bet her friendships are all hella transactional and superficial.

  • @Aggie4life77
    @Aggie4life77 Рік тому +34

    For that second girl, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. It was the type of man she was going for. If you think about the type of men 24 year olds like, she basically went and found a 39 year old version of that. This is a lot of women’s biggest problems in dating. They are absolutely Terrible at picking a good partner. Not all, but most. By the time most finally figure it out these guys are already married or dating much younger women!

    • @-TE-LE-GEAMRealCourtneyRyan..
      @-TE-LE-GEAMRealCourtneyRyan.. Рік тому

      LETS TALK 🆙..,,,

    • @protorhinocerator142
      @protorhinocerator142 Рік тому

      So they go to plan B.
      Try to break up the marriage and make the hot guy available.

    • @aleciad7218
      @aleciad7218 Рік тому +7

      I agree. People are absolutely terrible at picking their spouses. Even worse, they'll often run away from GOOD partners because they're too "boring." Opposites may attract initially, but they'll crash and burn later.

  • @devil23xx75
    @devil23xx75 Рік тому +68

    The 3rd one just made all my hopes of a relationship and a family in the future plummet. My ex had a similar list and I just happened to check like 90% of it. I know that people are allowed preferences, but these are shallow requirements based mostly on genetics and chance rather than a person's own qualities. The biggest issue is that girls like that usually don't hold themselves at that standard (my ex, like the girl in the video, was a smoker, and she didn't want a smoker), and that standard comes from a history of heartbreak, promiscuity or even abuse, and it doesn't tend to last long.

    • @LordHolley
      @LordHolley Рік тому +2

      Come on dude she was young. Every year that goes by, that list will get smaller.

    • @garfieldGG
      @garfieldGG Рік тому +2

      That girl was like 19.

    • @devil23xx75
      @devil23xx75 Рік тому +12

      @@LordHolley The list will get smaller the same way her ability to bond and have children will.

    • @devil23xx75
      @devil23xx75 Рік тому

      @@garfieldGG So?

    • @AlexanderSkinnerVids
      @AlexanderSkinnerVids Рік тому +8

      @@LordHolleyNot a valid excuse.

  • @artmanjohn2
    @artmanjohn2 Рік тому +2

    One thing that changed for the good as I got older, I don't put up with jealousy, possessiveness and/or always getting accused of things I didn't do or even think of doing for that matter! It's not about gaining or earning trust, it's literally a mental illness on a certain level. When I see these attributes pop up their ugly head, I'll give one warning and if and when it happens again that person is out of my life, gone. I had a couple ladies who had this attribute in the past and literally wasted years trying to fix it, it can't be fixed, at least not by me! Those years I'll never get back!

  • @unbelievable-4u
    @unbelievable-4u Рік тому +57

    The expression on your face was super-priceless. Even you were shocked, with the girl that had 74 requirements. LOL. Some of them were downright unrealistic: "I can do whatever I want" was one of them. These women are not looking for a "messy life"/life partner: they are looking for a ROBOT that they can program all these requirements into. Relationships are doomed, really they are. People have astronomic, atmospheric expectations; where is the humility? Nowhere to be seen.

    • @CrimzinEclipse2010
      @CrimzinEclipse2010 11 місяців тому +2

      One caveat:
      It’s not “people” who have unrealistic expectations.
      It’s “women” who have them.

    • @chrisfleming6560
      @chrisfleming6560 9 місяців тому

      Should have asked her “What do you bring to a relationship”? Bet she wouldn’t have 10 things on her list.

  • @Jabb135
    @Jabb135 Рік тому +19

    I met my wife when I was 29 and she was about to be 25. I’m thankful we met when we did as I’m not sure I would have fit what she was looking for in my early 20s (career and over all mentality). We had a lot in common but not everything and looking back I’m glad that was the case as we have both opened each other to different things we may have not tried had we had a partner with everything in common. When we were dating we were both realistic about what was really important to us and didn’t need our potential partner to check every box of our wish list (third clip blows my mind). I would say dating for me was a little easier as a male near his 30s just because I spent the second half of my 20s really trying to better my self. Once I was happy with who I was and where I thought I was heading finding someone who could add to my life not subtract from it became a little easier because I had given myself time to figure out what was really going to be important to me. Lots of rambling sorry but if you haven’t met your person don’t lose hope they are out there somewhere.

  • @rafaelshumaker1883
    @rafaelshumaker1883 Рік тому +8

    Ladies often ask me why I never married. I never had a good response. The truth of it was hard for me to summarize. But you summarized it quite well. I never did put a priority on socializing. My tendency is to be a homebody. Even so, I have been taking steps to rectify that.
    Sometimes ladies ask me what's wrong with me, which I've come to realize is the same thing. They think I'm a catch and are trying to figure out why I've never been caught. I usually reply something silly, like, "absolutely nothing", or like, "lots of things, but I'll never tell". And I allow a grin to grow on my face, and maybe even laugh.

    • @dgwaters
      @dgwaters Рік тому

      You’re lucky. My whole life nobody EVER asked me if I got married. People that I went to high school, who I haven’t seen in years, don’t ask that and honestly it really hurts because the way I see it, they probably already know I’m not seeing anyone.

    • @rafaelshumaker1883
      @rafaelshumaker1883 Рік тому

      I said "often", only because it feels uncomfortable every time. It might have been about once every couple of years. I think it's because I'm usually upbeat and positive. I try always to enjoy life. And learning a sense of humor really helped a lot. And I pay little attention to those who do NOT like me. Why waste energy on them? There are thousands more for me to meet.

    • @kaiserpuppydog7174
      @kaiserpuppydog7174 Рік тому

      One reason I never married is that the only women to express an authentic interest in me were married at the time. 🤔

  • @freedomandguns3231
    @freedomandguns3231 10 місяців тому +10

    "I think a lot of women dont know what a man wants in a woman and think they want the same thing they do"
    You have my complete and utter attention now.

  • @backpackingtony1779
    @backpackingtony1779 Рік тому +9

    Courtney’s videos are always so full of wisdom!

  • @gk_zone4274
    @gk_zone4274 Рік тому +26

    A lot of things happened in my 20s that forced me to lower my expectations on the type of women i want. In my twenties unlike majority of men I actually cared about a woman doing something for herself whether it was being successful or at least graduating college. On top of that I ended up becoming the only person paying all the bills in my family's household so. That definitely turned me off to women who did not have a job at all. The biggest hurdle for me are definitely the kids. My childhood is definitely to blame for that, and honestly I don't feel I'm ready to become a potential step parent. Also I do want to have my own kids 1st.

    • @antoniosalcido1931
      @antoniosalcido1931 Рік тому +6

      nothing wrong eith that brother but never be a step dad please dont make that mistake just work on self improvement just be persistent and you will find a young women

    • @gk_zone4274
      @gk_zone4274 Рік тому

      @@antoniosalcido1931 perhaps... we'll see what happens though

    • @godpilled9077
      @godpilled9077 Рік тому

      There is nothing wrong with wanting a woman that is financially stable. I wish you luck brother.

  • @chopper3a982
    @chopper3a982 Рік тому +25

    After 21 years of marriage, I'd recommend the first criteria on your list of qualities for a future spouse is finding someone who can tolerate you and all your flaws. If you don't think you have any flaws, or that you can hide them, stay single.

  • @Mr.Neko1
    @Mr.Neko1 9 місяців тому +3

    Most people do have an easier time when they’re young to find a relationship because we tend to look our best during those years. Not all of us can age like Chuando Tan. 😅

  • @nmore7297
    @nmore7297 Рік тому +10

    I want to say thank you. I was starting to want to date again and this was a great reminder of why I don't.

  • @bignapolean3068
    @bignapolean3068 Рік тому +21

    In my experience as a man, it has gotten easier to date as I've gotten older. I assume there's a limit, say late 50's. For me, dating was significantly tougher as a teen or twenty-something. In my thirties, I had more options. Now, I'm married and in my 40's and I can't imagine trying to date again.

    • @External2737
      @External2737 Рік тому +9

      Dating in 50s is easier if you are not chasing 20 somethings. It is too late for more kids for most men.

    • @bignapolean3068
      @bignapolean3068 Рік тому +1

      @@External2737 Good to know.

    • @khanhcao3123
      @khanhcao3123 Рік тому +1

      You will be dating soon enough when she divorce you and take half your stuff.

    • @watamutha
      @watamutha Рік тому +2

      If youre attractive overall, itll be easier to date as a man as you age. If youre not, itll always be hard.

  • @transitionsnc
    @transitionsnc Рік тому +22

    This is a great video and I agree with everything Courtney said about why dating gets harder as you get older. For context, I am a 54 year old woman, single, never married, no children. For me, this has been the right choice because I went through a lot when I was young and I needed time to get over it. If I had married when I was in my 20s or even 30s, I'd (most likely) be divorced by now. Unlike these women, I've never had a list, but I have found it more challenging to date as I've become older. A lot of times, it seems like people are looking for someone to help them out of difficult situations without giving much in return. (This could just be my perception. I'm totally willing to be wrong.) They may be divorced with children and it may have been a bad divorce. Many are looking for an unpaid counselor/therapist. Some are looking to be taken care of either physically, emotionally, financially, or all three. And of course they are not going to tell you this up front. I agree that the men who are more commitment oriented and who have it together stay in in long term relationships. I've encountered men who appear functional on the surface (decent looking, good job, etc) who pretend they're interested in something serious but in reality they're looking for friends with benefits so they can play the field. I've also encountered men who have failed to launch. This is not to say that all men are like this because they're not. But I would say that (for me) it's been challenging to find someone who has my back. (And, of course, I would have that person's back as well.) I'm honestly ok with it because I think dating is harder overall due to so much perceived choice. Anyway, sorry for the long comment. I appreciate your channel.

    • @la6136
      @la6136 Рік тому +5

      Men are like what you described when they are young too. It is just as they get older they grow beards and then become old adult children with ED and too much baggage.

    • @arewestilldoingphrasing6490
      @arewestilldoingphrasing6490 Рік тому +11

      I dont see much accountibility in this comment thread. You were supposed to find a man while you were young that way you dont get the left over choices of men you are encountering. But for whatever reason you are the left over women that can only get these kind of men. You are not above the men who wants emotional support (therapist what you called it) or financial support, or badly divorced esp for a non virgin childless middle aged woman. They may not have their stuff together but what do you have to give them, no serious relationship history, no womb, and not as youthful and with your own baggage from the past. You may not have a list but you sure are making decisions like you do. You havent learned anything ma'am. You are what you attract or at least to female equivalent of what you attract. If its about life experience you need to decide to experience it alone with a dog or stop holding on to the past trauma and bringing it into the men of the present. Making men of your present pay for the men in your past means you will have no future.

    • @Samuellwright
      @Samuellwright Рік тому +5

      ​@@arewestilldoingphrasing6490Did we read the same comment or is english not your first language? Op clearly articulated their reasoning for their situation and took accountability. Why are you out here trying to be an unsolicited counselor is the better question 🤔

    • @AlexPanfilo-o9s
      @AlexPanfilo-o9s Рік тому +4

      "Many are looking for an unpaid counselor/therapist. Some are looking to be taken care of either physically, emotionally, financially, or all three"
      Welcome to the world of relationships. A listening ear, ability to help out, physical support / meeting sexual needs, emotional and financial support. You have just described exactly what would make you a good marriage partner if you wanted to offer some of this.

    • @BWater-yq3jx
      @BWater-yq3jx Рік тому +2

      At 54, a woman is at the absolute tail-end of her physically attractive years, assuming she was good-looking to start with.
      Therefore, your choices are limited.
      As a 54 yo man, I would have a fling with a woman my age, but would not be settling down with her, in light of the above.
      Welcome to reality.

  • @x-man5056
    @x-man5056 Рік тому +7

    I have an older sister and no woman ever even asked. My second wife hated my sister.
    Dating is more difficult when you get older because people get fed up with romance and start avoiding it. I get it, but I don't abide with that. I desire an intimate mate/friend/confidante. I'm getting up there, I'd like to get this right before I go.

    • @lindseyw9192
      @lindseyw9192 7 місяців тому +1

      I think those two girls just had a preference for a sister. Different people want different things. I'm not surprised that your one wife hated your sister. I've dated men with nice sisters but i've also dated men who had very jealous female family members who were threatened by me (creepy yes but also not uncommon).

    • @x-man5056
      @x-man5056 7 місяців тому

      @@lindseyw9192 Yes, my sister and former wife were locked in a power struggle. What fun memories. No Ferrytale

    • @x-man5056
      @x-man5056 7 місяців тому

      @@lindseyw9192 Yes, you are right, my sister and former wife were locked in a power struggle. What fun memories. No Ferry Tale ending.

    • @lindseyw9192
      @lindseyw9192 7 місяців тому +1

      @@x-man5056 thats awful, im sorry. i hate when family betrays you like that (and with the intention of being closer)...any time someone tries to control anything, theyre basically pushing it away instead so you might as well just stop
      but yeah, I hate to say it and i'm not sure if you tried, but that was definitely up to you to put your sister in her place and make boundaries (im only mentioning it because u said you're still looking incase that comes up again). Super unfair to you, but a lot of women have to endure this power struggle with their spouse's family members alone and that never goes well. Wife has to be the priority (it's in the Bible because, well, it's usually the mom getting in the way but it's literally a problem as old as time).

    • @x-man5056
      @x-man5056 7 місяців тому +1

      @@lindseyw9192 Thank You for your thoughtfulness but my sister died 5 years ago. That former wife lives on the opposite side of the country now. That's just barely far enough.

  • @gregoryteeple9306
    @gregoryteeple9306 Рік тому +4

    Stay married. Work it out. Don't be selfish (both of you). My wife an I are married 20 years this November. It's tough but well worth it!

  • @sfresh79
    @sfresh79 Рік тому +144

    I'm 44, i gave up on women 15 years ago. I haven't had a date since or cared about women, i want nothing to do with them, they are a liability and a pain. I haven't felt anything in a long time. It's not that i'm bad looking, i'm fairly athletic, i take care of myself and dress well, i make a decent living, i just don't care.

    • @mjkittredge
      @mjkittredge Рік тому +29

      that's the ultimate freedom. Guys spend so much time and energy and resources chasing after women, a lot of it is wasted and leads to emotional despair. I wish I had no sex drive or longing for companionship. Then I could give up entirely like you have.

    • @sfresh79
      @sfresh79 Рік тому +4

      @@-TE-LE-GEAMRealCourtneyRyan.. There isn't much to say, other than i already did.

    • @Telencephelon
      @Telencephelon Рік тому

      @@sfresh79 You are talking to bots? WTF is wrong with u

    • @nktaylo1
      @nktaylo1 Рік тому +11

      ​@sfresh79 you just responded to a bot...

    • @FischerFan
      @FischerFan Рік тому +2

      I'm 56, and knew the writing was on the wall by the time I was 20. After developing feelings for a female store clerk who worked across the street from my workplace when I was 29, I decided to give it one more try. It wasn't to be. I was left haunted for a number of years.
      In the wake of the devastation, friends tried to involve me with women....women I didn't want. I came to distrust set up attempts by people and now, after realizing I'm not going to be conned, they have learned to leave me alone.

  • @Cspacecat
    @Cspacecat Рік тому +5

    Compassion, empathy, and honesty are what a hard-working man needs. Someone who can run a balance sheet and tell him exactly where he should be going also helps dramatically.

  • @KF8OD1
    @KF8OD1 10 місяців тому +1

    I feel extraordinarily luck when I watch videos like this. I went to a football party met a girl, dated for three years got married and had three children and have lived happily ever after. Celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary this year and retiring. It was so easy.

    • @Nonyah123
      @Nonyah123 10 місяців тому +1

      You are lucky, but we are not unlucky. Things are harder for us but our memories and experiences are rich, same as yours c:

  • @brandonharrison9791
    @brandonharrison9791 Рік тому +19

    Dating in my 20s has killed the urge to date again. Relationships, love, all that we crave have shelf lives.

  • @IamjustBruh
    @IamjustBruh Рік тому +7

    1:02 A little proverb that an old friend told me.
    When someone says “I’m a good person” they’re usually not.

    • @markfennell1167
      @markfennell1167 Рік тому

      Disagree on that. There’s nothing wrong with a good person saying they are a good person.
      Furthermore most the people who are actually good people are disrespected by psychopaths.
      In practical terms this means that the reputation of a good person may actually be tarnished by the evil people in the community. Hence the reason that good people need to actually remind others that they are a good person

    • @WolfODonnelfan
      @WolfODonnelfan 8 місяців тому

      @@markfennell1167 Sure, there are good people that say they're a good person. The thing is though, any good traits you think you have can only be confirmed if everyone around you say the same thing about you when being asked.
      There's too many people that say they're a nice person, but then you find that they have 1-2 friends at most. Nice people tend to have 7+ friends in their network whoshare their sentiment.

  • @kaiser8843
    @kaiser8843 Рік тому +84

    I've hit a point where i don't want to date women my age. The mistrust and baggage and constant jealously due to their awful past relationships is a real drag. I treat everyone i meet as a new person.

    • @ASKFRANK1992
      @ASKFRANK1992 Рік тому +19

      I've recently started dating again as a 30 year old after a very long term relationship. I've met a few of these women who expect me to prove in many ways that I'm not a scumbag because of some past trauma theyve experienced from chasing bad boys in their early 20s. If they enter dating with their guard up so high, they aren't ready to date.

    • @kaiser8843
      @kaiser8843 Рік тому +3

      @@ASKFRANK1992 yeah it's a drag for sure. I'm turning into the guy that says "All women my age...blag blah blah" and I feel bad.

    • @haroldfarquad6886
      @haroldfarquad6886 Рік тому +21

      @@kaiser8843 you shouldn't feel bad. For practically all of human history, stable marriages were started with women in their early to mid 20s at the latest. It's not an accident. The notion that dating should require a decade of 'exploring' to figure out what one values is absurd, and just another sign of the stunted development of most modern adults. Men in their early 20s were changing the world in the past. Women were starting large families. Now, it seems crazy for 'successful' people to start a family before 30. You're perfectly justified to not want to date women your own age when they failed to understand their own biology and the male psychology that their ancestors and prior cultures understood just fine. There are multiple reasons men who want healthy, monogamous relationships aren't focusing on women in their 30s with plummeting fertility, a decade plus of emotional baggage that no one man can remedy, and who knows how much sexual history that will absolutely threaten the health of a monogamous sexual commitment. Modern men have every incentive to pursue younger women who stand a decent chance to make healthy families, not cheat on their partner, and form a stable bond. Women have been lied to believing they can get away with behaving otherwise, and men aren't the bad guys for responding accordingly.

    • @neondystopian
      @neondystopian Рік тому +1

      ​@@kaiser8843you should only feel bad if it's untrue. I know how you feel. I just got through dealing with a co-worker that was one year younger than myself but still acted like a child.

    • @crazyguywatchnu
      @crazyguywatchnu Рік тому +2

      And that's why I date younger.

  • @bjordan429
    @bjordan429 5 місяців тому +1

    As a guy the first thing I judge on a date is "how likely are they going to get bored and chaotic". Are they expecting me to be the sole source of their entertainment? When they get bored, to they do self-destructive things? Will they start fires as a means to judge my value to them?
    So things like having dedication to a hobby is a strong lead.
    After that I look at their approach. Do they act like we are on a date? Or have I found myself in a job interview...
    I'm a person, not a 401k plan.
    After that, I'm not picky. I'm there to see how we could get along as people. And over time if we could grow together. Dont even care if they have children.
    But this could be the wrong approach, as I have been perpetually single after divorce. None have gotten past those first two points.

  • @firstnamelastname9955
    @firstnamelastname9955 Рік тому +27

    I was convinced I was too broke to date during my twenties (I was truly struggling). I now have a great career, take care of myself, have multiple hobbies and even success outside of work, but feel like I am too busy to start dating again. I'm just lucky that I'm someone who never felt as though they *had* to be in a relationship. It is so easybto be single and be my own person, but I also realize it is dangerous to find one's self *too* comfortable spending so much time fantasizing rather than facing reality head-on. Dating is shitty, but I guess let's get on with the shit-show 😅

    • @sausage_and_peppers
      @sausage_and_peppers Рік тому +1

      True

    • @BestOpinionHaver
      @BestOpinionHaver Рік тому +4

      Do a certain degree this is how it has been for men for most of history. Historically speaking it was much more commeon for a much older (more established, socially and economically) man to marry a young woman. I believe we are seeing the returning to this.

    • @starscream6629
      @starscream6629 Рік тому +1

      Doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity.

  • @spacexbrawler
    @spacexbrawler Рік тому +6

    So spot on about her answers. Her career and all that is definitely something to be proud of, but in my understanding of what men want... It is as you said, nurturing, love, compassion and understanding, companionship. She did say communication I think to her credit but yeah, to open the door to a relationship it's gotta be focus on those interpersonal things that will make something last.

    • @machupikachu1085
      @machupikachu1085 Рік тому +1

      communication for her probably means ' I tell him when I don't like what he's doing.'

  • @Jazzmaster1992
    @Jazzmaster1992 Рік тому +20

    When a woman says she brings "success" to the table, it rings a lot like a guy saying his best quality in a relationship is being a "nice guy". Neither of these are bad in and of themselves, and provide value for a relationship, but they usually aren't what makes someone attracted to you and desire to be with you romantically. I believe it's safe to say that regardless of gender or sexual orientation, most people want to experience some level of sexual attraction, romantic chemistry and a meaningful connection when it comes to a long-term partner.

    • @gavinr9107
      @gavinr9107 Рік тому

      A woman that is successful does not make her more attractive. Men don't value a wealthy woman, it's not like she will support a man financially or share her wealth.

  • @Mrbfgray
    @Mrbfgray Рік тому +1

    7:30 I take that laundry list as fantasy wish list (they were in a lite hearted mood), not necessarily to check every box, and most of those qualities are proper priorities.

  • @pharmcat8484
    @pharmcat8484 Рік тому +32

    Also, a video about how to help your friends who have completely given up on dating would be useful.

    • @laforge001
      @laforge001 Рік тому +7

      People should be more concerned about improving themselves instead of meddling in the lives of others, even their friends. If someone has given up on dating, then there are reasons for that and they should be left alone regarding that area of their life.
      I have a friend whose Mom is pushing me to do this and that because I need a woman. I replied, Why, when there is over 50% divorce rate and 70 to 80 percent of them started by the woman? Why waste my time, energy, and money I don't have into an almost 100% chance of failure? She just sat there flapping her silent jaws trying to think of a rebuttal. I then responded, I may not be the smartest person on earth, but, I am certainly not that stupid. I then told her, "If you bring this up again, then that tells me that you are actually more concerned with your own needs of your perception of my life instead of my actual needs." She still just sat there trying to think of something. We were eating a meal and entire table went silent and everyone's eyebrows at the table went up. She is a woman that normally just has to have the last word no matter what. Everyone was surprised she didn't.

    • @TerryProthero
      @TerryProthero Рік тому +6

      I'm one of those people. So, I can probably answer the question. Congratulate them for making sensible life decisions and offer your emotional support.

  • @thrillathakilla
    @thrillathakilla Рік тому +26

    I was honestly 75% of that 3rd girls list... Thank God I'm less than 6ft, thought I was in trouble there!
    Genuinely, I think it becomes harder dating as we get older because we become busier. We go to work etc, there aren't that many clubs and hobby activities about for people to go to. After all of that, we need someone to fit in with our own schedules and life balances. Online is the predominant way, however, with the numbers of men vs womena nd those apps pushing the paid users more, the likelyhood is you won't be seen.
    Who would've thought in the time that we're so super connected, we're lonelier than ever

    • @Essetheartist
      @Essetheartist Рік тому

      People don't think about how your career choice and schedule in adulthood makes it easier or more difficult to date.

    • @SharpBalisong
      @SharpBalisong Рік тому

      Honestly, just avoid girls like that all together even if you fit their list 100%

  • @LightsCameraJake
    @LightsCameraJake Рік тому +7

    Woman number 3 had such a huge list of requirements but ALSO the issue is, when a guy has a even small list in comparison of requirements its all of a sudden such a huge issue for somebody like her. Personally I look at things like weight and health. Im 28, Recently I took to taking my health seriously and I want to also be with somebody who is at least working on being healthier. In the end, being healthier helps you live longer and if you live longer that means we can be together longer too.

    • @superbob24
      @superbob24 Рік тому +1

      My list is simple, not disgustingly obese (I'm fine with proportionate fat where it fits the build), a friendly face, is supportive and will push me to keep improving. Their interests don't even matter because if they like different stuff I get to try new things.

    • @tcfs
      @tcfs Рік тому

      The girl had an item on her list such as "allow me to do anything I want" or something like this. This is a huge red flag, every self-respecting guy should skip her immediately hearing that...

  • @ricecrash5225
    @ricecrash5225 10 місяців тому +14

    “I’m ambitious, independent, motivated, self reliant, driven”. All things men couldn’t care less about and some would say are red flags.

    • @GjVj
      @GjVj 10 місяців тому

      Yep. It's pure projection, and solipsism. That's what she's looking for in a man, so she believes that's what a man is looking for from women. [Really makes one question the female capacity for _empathy,_ as well]. This is only made worse because she's been fed the lie of "equality" (which equates to the absurd notion that men and women are essentially interchangeable, with no fundamental differences) all her life. Newsflash: we are *not* the same!

  • @JFHeroux
    @JFHeroux Рік тому +10

    BEING DRIVEN. Once in my 40's, I started noticing that more and more, women who were saying they were driven or ambitious were NOT the type of women I was looking for in a relationship. While I was finding out what I wanted, the first things on my list were as simple as "being nice to me", "being respectul, not pushy", "being emotionnaly mature"... and BTW, most women think they are emotionnaly mature when in fact, a lot of them FAIL miserably at that! Emotional manipulation is common in women of all ages. Thinking a relationship is a competition they need to win is common as well. Being extremely insecure/unable to trust is another major problem. All of those are signs of someone who is NOT emotionnaly secure.
    So I think it's funny that many women (not all though) think they actually can bring the most important things to a relationship with a man... when in fact, they should stay single and work on things like trust issues, lack of confidence and feelings of inferiority. All of those things actually make it VERY hard to be in a relation ship with them. So not adressing them means that all of their future relationships are destined to fail, partly or completely. When men mature enough, some of us realize what the real "red flags"' are... and they are certainly not related to external appearance. We just want to have a peaceful, equalitarian relationship with an actual mature person. And there is no physical age for being an emotionnaly mature person. In my case, I eventually settled with a woman who is much younger than me but is also the most pleasant person to be around on a daily basis. THAT is what men really want in a partner! I'm in my early 50's BTW.
    @Courtney Ryan : You should do a poll. I feel like "being driven" would place around tenth place or lower on the list of what men want and love in a partner.

    • @evathespeaker9537
      @evathespeaker9537 Рік тому

      yikes. Creepy ending btw 😬

    • @JFHeroux
      @JFHeroux Рік тому

      @@evathespeaker9537What a completely useless comment. Either state your opinion or don't waste my time. What good was this contribution???

    • @evathespeaker9537
      @evathespeaker9537 Рік тому

      I pray daily that God helps me avoid men like you 🙏Creepy af. @@JFHeroux

    • @angelika87
      @angelika87 10 місяців тому

      gender myopia ...women think men want in a woman what women want in a man

  • @PappaBear_1234
    @PappaBear_1234 Рік тому +24

    Dating nowadays is similar to watching a hamster running on the wheel… we keep going in circles

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  Рік тому +6

      😂😵‍💫

    • @Renatogabriel1221
      @Renatogabriel1221 Рік тому +4

      that’s because women need to chill with there crazy expectations… look if the makes you happy n you like him, that should be enough

  • @coloredsands3067
    @coloredsands3067 Рік тому +10

    Courtney, thanks for the awesome videos, I have really levelled up my life, lost some weight, currently in the process of changing careers and started Jiu-Jitsu. Also travelling more. Not met the right lady yet but who knows what the future holds. Also your reactions are always spot on :).

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  Рік тому +2

      I’m so proud of you, I hope you’re proud of yourself too. Thank you for being here, my friend! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @Robohead-z6z
    @Robohead-z6z Рік тому +3

    I know there are comments that said “dating becomes easier at 30 and now women want me” Yeah those are the minority that want you. Most women in their 20s are dating men in their 20s. Most middle age men are going to find out that a majority of young women aren’t into someone old enough to be their dad. I’m sure most 20 something women reject them/not in them. “I have a lot surrounding me”. That whole lot still doesn’t cover most of the women population and that includes young women. “A men peaks at 50”. Yeah for money cause 20-29 year old women don’t find 50 year old men sexy.

    • @stevec3526
      @stevec3526 5 місяців тому +2

      My doctor is 30 years older than his Chinese wife. They have been married 20 years and have a 12 year old daughter.

  • @shakthi3333
    @shakthi3333 Рік тому +4

    I felt lucky that i came to know about real dating and what to look in a partner at age of 18 thankyou courtney❤

  • @TheBubbeloo
    @TheBubbeloo Рік тому +10

    I'm 35 now and never been in a relationship and while it made me depressed in my youth, I'm slowly starting to feel like I just dodged a hail of bullets...
    Plenty more things to be depressed about than not finding a woman in life 😂

    • @machupikachu1085
      @machupikachu1085 Рік тому

      Like Putin about to be killed in a coup, yet still has access to nuclear launch codes?

    • @resonancetides7196
      @resonancetides7196 Рік тому +2

      Just rent a prostitute. Relationships not worth any second.

    • @j23222
      @j23222 10 місяців тому

      Have fun with your 20 cats 🐈

  • @rickshipley7872
    @rickshipley7872 Рік тому +5

    Hi Courtney. I once heard that it's not about picking the right partner. It's being the right partner. As I've grown I see a lot of truth to that.
    Western society seems to have devolved where it's all about what I can get. Rarely do I hear the concept of excellence mentioned regarding ones character or career. Me-me-me...

  • @Ariaga_II
    @Ariaga_II 11 місяців тому

    I love what you said in the video, “I choose poorly, but it’s the person who I chose’s fault.”

  • @Rixdog01
    @Rixdog01 Рік тому +7

    Now at 32 she knows what she wants. Uh huh. And guys who are 32 know what they want, and it's not her.

  • @JaySmith-pv2mw
    @JaySmith-pv2mw Рік тому +6

    Im 57 and single. I've all but given up hope.
    My list:
    1. Dont be a pain in the ass.
    2. Be reasonably attractive to me.

  • @ncarranza2
    @ncarranza2 Рік тому +20

    "Someone can be a good person, but not good for you".
    That hit home.

    • @protorhinocerator142
      @protorhinocerator142 Рік тому +2

      Women lie about the good person thing all the time. Women are constantly saying they're trying to find a good man or a nice man. I know plenty of good/nice men with no dates.
      Here's what women really want.
      They see that hot guy that catches their eye. He's the one.
      Now that they already chose Chad, they want that one man only to be nice, and only to them.

    • @D3xterJettster
      @D3xterJettster Рік тому

      I understand and agree what it's saying, but I'm also confused by it.

    • @brett103
      @brett103 9 місяців тому

      @@gerrodzuber3243Being really generous with that 10% in my experience they’re all like that 😂

  • @LB-vn1lu
    @LB-vn1lu Рік тому +5

    Great advice as always Courtney. As an older guy (early 60's) I'd love it if you would do a piece on dating later in life (50s and 60s), which is a phase were many have had a family that has largely grown up, moved out, and retirement looms. How should one think about dating at that point of life? How should folks go about meeting people? What age partner should a man be even considering given men generally have a wider range and that may be moreso at latter age? Your thoughts would be very welcome. Thanks for doing such a great job overall.

    • @-TE-LE-GEAMRealCourtneyRyan..
      @-TE-LE-GEAMRealCourtneyRyan.. Рік тому

      LETS TALK 🆙..,,,

    • @williamvanholder3368
      @williamvanholder3368 11 місяців тому +1

      when a man is 60 he has to look for a woman between 35 and 45, 55 is much too old

    • @angelika87
      @angelika87 10 місяців тому

      I agree but it mostly depends how the 60s man carries himself...especially if
      he wants a relationship not sugar baby bills. but if he doesn't mind being a sugar daddy why not get a 25 year old?

    • @j23222
      @j23222 10 місяців тому

      @@williamvanholder336835 year old women are not dating men in their 60s. His age range is more 45-55.