Women over 30: the game isn't over yet

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  • Опубліковано 8 лют 2025
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    I've spoken to a number of women recently who were inappropriately pessimistic about their chances of getting married, simply due to their age. While it's true that women operate under an increasing disadvantage in the sexual marketplace in their 30s, that doesn't mean they can't still win. They just need to change their strategy. In this episode, I discuss further.
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    Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    #dating #relationship #women

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  • @psychacks
    @psychacks  10 місяців тому +113

    I've spoken to a number of women recently who were inappropriately pessimistic about their chances of getting married, simply due to their age. While it's true that women operate under an increasing disadvantage in the sexual marketplace in their 30s, that doesn't mean they can't still win. They just need to change their strategy. In this episode, I discuss further.
    Book a paid consultation:
    oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
    Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com
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    Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
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    Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
    Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
    Orion's Theme: ua-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/v-deo.html
    Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
    Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
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    Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
    Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    #dating #relationship #women

    • @rogerm3708
      @rogerm3708 10 місяців тому +16

      Older women can win but should they. Not only her age but her history is an indication of future success for a man with these women. Many men believe that these women settling for them is a win but if she has had what she perceives as a better man, her current man is a pit stop to replenish resources and confidence until she replaces him in the future. Older women win more then they should because men invest for the long term, as these women quietly invest in him for the short term

    • @BunyipDude
      @BunyipDude 10 місяців тому +9

      Orion, I do have to ask: How many of these women expressed a willingness to settle somewhat for a man who isn’t necessarily the tallest or particularly rich, but rather more average in both departments? Would you say that you’ve observed that some women over 30 remain picky long after the odds start to become stacked against them?

    • @Straga_Severa
      @Straga_Severa 10 місяців тому +5

      @@Alexxx492 Wow, really? I never thought that a woman can use this advice and not disregard it as a misogyny. Congratulations for your success! =-)

    • @Straga_Severa
      @Straga_Severa 10 місяців тому +3

      @@Alexxx492 I'd consider learning about the term "hyperbole", but to each their own ;-) In any ways, good job.

    • @garymalone547
      @garymalone547 10 місяців тому +4

      Good luck spreading this message. You forgot all women are queens now.

  • @nicholasmosley8707
    @nicholasmosley8707 10 місяців тому +1301

    I have a lot of female friends in their late 30 I would love to send this to but 95% of them would rather die alone than be humbled. Pride comes before the fall

    • @hamiltonstephanus7457
      @hamiltonstephanus7457 10 місяців тому +87

      😂😂😂😂😂 Talk about choosing to die alone than to change their ways and behaviours

    • @WildMidwest1
      @WildMidwest1 10 місяців тому

      Pride truly is a ‘deadly’ sin for women because of how unattractive it makes them, and how they then paint themselves into a corner of perpetual singledom. Pride works differently for men as it instills confidence which is attractive.

    • @SuperMBARutgers2013
      @SuperMBARutgers2013 10 місяців тому

      This is evolution. Darwinism will weed out all the women who can't find a way to be under a man.
      Because let's be honest, most of this stems from feminism and their pride. Power struggle

    • @shingitheduke
      @shingitheduke 10 місяців тому

      After spending 15 years receiving free attention, time and resources, scoffing at men. These women have do not have the fortitude or dexterity to remodel their behaviour to suit their new disadvantaged position. So it’s safe to say it’s over for these Oes.

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  10 місяців тому +293

      I made an episode on that: "Women's greatest enemy"

  • @FrankM
    @FrankM 10 місяців тому +1257

    I'm a 45 year old man in NYC. I've done online dating, speed dating, and singles mixer too. Most of the women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s have not changed their strategy. They are still waiting for some handsome and exciting man to sweep them off their feet.

    • @susandavis903
      @susandavis903 10 місяців тому +90

      That is unfortunately an old embedded cultural standard that no longer helps women. Hopefully information like this will be heard and utilized.

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 10 місяців тому +55

      Given current events, women in NYC may want to avoid getting swept off their feet right now.

    • @cliffthecoolcat
      @cliffthecoolcat 10 місяців тому +136

      I'm 48 in michigan. I was a "loser" in my 20's and 30s so I spent a lot of time in college and working.
      It's so easy to get a woman now and they are so abundant. I don't use Internet dating. I can tell by the way they dress if they are single. I can also tell if they want me to ask them out by the way they act.
      I hardly ever miss.

    • @boethius1812
      @boethius1812 10 місяців тому +65

      Same. Was a loser until 25. Killed it from 25 to 39. Going back out to date soon at 55, but doing it in person. Much easier than online dating, cuz I'm average looking but hilarious and smart.

    • @bobbym6130
      @bobbym6130 10 місяців тому +69

      ​@@boethius1812 But where? I'm 40 divorced and the dating apps are awful. They inflate women's sense of value so high they're insufferable.

  • @jackdeniston6150
    @jackdeniston6150 10 місяців тому +437

    ´more agressive approach´ does not mean more angry, it means you have to actually put effort in.

    • @Pascal_Mueller
      @Pascal_Mueller 10 місяців тому +8

      Everyone with a brain should have understood that.

    • @southboundeightyone4958
      @southboundeightyone4958 10 місяців тому +55

      ​@@Pascal_Mueller You'd be surprised

    • @troydunn8463
      @troydunn8463 10 місяців тому +17

      Good point. So many of them get that confused.

    • @melenico4512
      @melenico4512 10 місяців тому +13

      They get aggressive because they can't get the man they want they see it as settling.

    • @johnybrokeit
      @johnybrokeit 10 місяців тому +7

      😂
      I'm so glad you clarified this for them!
      I've seen some ridiculous Ridddiculous understanding over the past few years from some smart looking women 😅
      And yes, we're having a bit of fun here too, so we take this lightly 😊

  • @St.MichaelsWingman
    @St.MichaelsWingman 10 місяців тому +345

    I have a younger sister (32) who can't seem to get out of the cycle of dating guys for years and years and years until she finally starts putting the pressure on to pop the question only to then see them run for the hills because they don't want to commit. As much as I'd love to send her Orion's content because I know it would 100% help if she were open-minded, she is also very left-wing in her thinking and is the epitome of girl boss. I doubt she would make it even 60 seconds into a clip like this one before closing it and rage texting me back.

    • @j.p.5716
      @j.p.5716 10 місяців тому +36

      You never know when the truth might set someone free.

    • @thevisitor1012
      @thevisitor1012 10 місяців тому +50

      The fact that she shows resistance towards any form of change is a red flag in its own right. There's no way she'll have a happy marriage if she remains this way.

    • @josealexi5141
      @josealexi5141 10 місяців тому

      Modern western women are impervious to facts, logic and wisdom. Let her suffer in her self-made hell.

    • @hughsisley4860
      @hughsisley4860 10 місяців тому +24

      Do the right thing and send her the video. Let her hate you for a bit. Just keep speaking the truth. Nothing is worse for you or the people you love than to be afraid to tell the truth

    • @cosmopolitanbay9508
      @cosmopolitanbay9508 10 місяців тому +7

      I have a cousin like that. I am done talking. Crazy luck apart, unless some casual sex leads to pregnancy, I am very pessimistic about her future.

  • @valdius85
    @valdius85 10 місяців тому +286

    My wife was 30+ when I’ve met her.
    She made an effort, she respected my time and money, she was supportive, hard working and smart.

  • @ScottOdekirk
    @ScottOdekirk 10 місяців тому +7

    Oh Doc, ~ you'll never know how deeply this little chat strikes with me - you're my main man these days - keep it up ~ thanks again 😊

  • @dhickey5919
    @dhickey5919 10 місяців тому +11

    Thank you, Orion. Women in their twenties have several advantages and they have no problem competing against you for any man they want for any reason. However, any woman can change the odds by doing the one thing no one expects. Be what the man wants in a partner.

  • @69thPredator
    @69thPredator 10 місяців тому +37

    Victorian Taraban is the version we didn’t know that we needed.

  • @2Oldcoots
    @2Oldcoots 10 місяців тому +13

    Thanks!Wonderfully instructive! The story about dropping a handkerchief in Elizabethian England with plausible deniability is pure genius!!

  • @mjaybee
    @mjaybee 10 місяців тому +53

    I like how he’s howling in the wind. Logical and on point, but effectively speaking in front of an empty auditorium.

    • @EE12CSVT
      @EE12CSVT 10 місяців тому +13

      A few women hear him but think he's wrong 😄

    • @OnderHassan
      @OnderHassan 10 місяців тому +3

      That’s why I refused to be a dating coach. It’s a waste of time.

    • @chipsteve
      @chipsteve 10 місяців тому +4

      Yup. Selling the dream is still the most effective way. Which is sad. And condescending. And when it works, the groundwork is laid for contempt. Yuck.

    • @jamesholster5323
      @jamesholster5323 9 місяців тому +1

      @@chipsteve what an accurate yet saddening truth

    • @giakolou2876
      @giakolou2876 7 місяців тому +5

      He’s saying to women they need to settle and go for loosers who can’t commit or treat them unfairly just so they can marry.

  • @leviathon2
    @leviathon2 10 місяців тому +22

    This guy is really good. I mean the most sage wisdom I’ve ever come across on this topic. But I’d bet a lot of it falls on deaf ears. Like he says, I was an invisible 20 something year old guy but I knew that it wouldn’t stay that way forever.

  • @Sphereal
    @Sphereal 10 місяців тому +303

    "Most women turn out OK, that is most women end up in a decent relationship. They may not end up in a relationship with the man they'd prefer (...)"
    That's one hell of a compromise and it explains why so many men get no respect from their wives: these men were just consolation prizes to their women, as they were never the first choice. How is that a good ending?

    • @SKBottom
      @SKBottom 10 місяців тому +45

      They don't see it as a decent relationship. That's why they are angry and bitter.
      Orion's conclusion is right from a man's point of view, but not a woman's.

    • @adaptandsucceed6875
      @adaptandsucceed6875 10 місяців тому +6

      We are worth what we can get. This is what happens to women whose preference is instead a demand, and to men who choose or choose to stay with such women

    • @josealexi5141
      @josealexi5141 10 місяців тому

      80+ percent of women resent their husbands because they had to "settle"

    • @whocarescrapsa
      @whocarescrapsa 10 місяців тому +46

      Would you be willing to give up your life protecting a woman who sees you as her 7th choice? No chance I am doing it. Listen very carefully to their words and they will tell you how they see you. If they say something like "Sex is not the highest priority!" just ask yourself if they would say that to Ronaldo or whoever their 1st choice is. No chance.

    • @ChrisPTY507
      @ChrisPTY507 10 місяців тому +29

      Yeah women see this as "settling". They secured a man but not the kind of man they want, this is easily noticeable on the amount of disrespect they put their man and how many hoops he have to jump. Most of these men lack the self-respect to walk away, allowing this cycle to continue ad nauseam.

  • @texicon
    @texicon 10 місяців тому +12

    Many women who failed in their 30s become embittered and demanding in their 40s. There are plenty of 30-35 yo prospects for successful men who refuse to put up with an entitled and angry 45 year old who isn’t useful and supportive. This video contains great advice.

  • @NathanKerrevolution
    @NathanKerrevolution 10 місяців тому +5

    You are such a no nonsense plain spoken therapist. Love your psych hacks

  • @ashok.vardhan.g
    @ashok.vardhan.g 10 місяців тому +259

    There is a "I'll be the way I am, if he does not accept me for that it's his loss", kind of laissez-faire pandemic in the attitude of women in this cohort, that blinds them from their own failings. Those that continue this way into their 40s end up with cats, those that get out of this hole, have made some effort towards self-development and making themselves attractive, and useful to the men their desire to have any sustainable relationships with. The rest are just loony bins, beware and keep them at bay.

    • @agentm83
      @agentm83 10 місяців тому +22

      yeah, society promotes a lot of the no-effort laissez-faire attitude in women a lot of the time "You go Queen, ain't nothing wrong with you, it's obviously all the men out there!" Excessive cope.

    • @14margott
      @14margott 10 місяців тому +16

      Most men behave like what you describe within a marriage. "I am who I am and if you like it if you don't that's your problem it is you who will have to change" an attitude which does not work. And, who are you to judge the "failings" of others? where you living under the same circumstances and with the same genetic make up with this or the other person? It is not who is more perfected who may get a good partner but the most compatible with the other.

    • @ameliamorningstar
      @ameliamorningstar 10 місяців тому

      💯🎯

    • @torachan23
      @torachan23 10 місяців тому

      ​@14margott the nerve of YOU to judge what you think "most men" do. Who are you to judge the perceived failures of men?
      Stop being a hateful hypocrite and grow up

    • @GermanTaffer
      @GermanTaffer 10 місяців тому +6

      I laughed so hard 😂😂That is exactly the story of S.. and the city. if Mr. Big doesn't like me but the more helpful woman, he is too weak for my strong wild horse attitude. If I don't shower as a man , the women didn't like my wild 🐎 attitude either. 😂

  • @sarahk6254
    @sarahk6254 9 місяців тому +27

    Youre so right. Im single in my 30s and its because I never put put in the effort to drop my handkerchief so to speak. I didnt put any effort or put myself out there but its because I felt so unworthy and had a lot of trauma so I spent a lot of my 20s cloistered in my room figuring out my internal struggles so i can be a healthy partner to somebody else as well as myself. Thats why I feel like if you love your daughter its even more important and pertinent to love, keep them safe, care and value them when they are young so they dont waste their youth to trauma, negative mental health etc.and figuring it out. Thats why parents treat their sons differently than their daughters. Its not about double standards and eventually the woman will grow up and realize their parents were just trying to protect them

    • @Bopobopo931
      @Bopobopo931 27 днів тому +1

      Boys need to be loved, kept safe, cared and valued just as much as girls, and they need to deal with their childhood trauma just as much as girl, it's just that when they are young, in most cases, they are forced to be the ones to make an effort because no one else will.

    • @janetomes
      @janetomes 21 день тому +1

      A lot of marriages are more successful and last longer, when married later innlife. Meaning not the 20's. Many males and females are processing their childhoods, grwoing and comw to understanding of who they are. And manybhave put a lot of h a rd work intonrhwir careers so on a bit of a roll. I think it's the best ..after 30. .regardless of what Taraban says etc. People can make much better partners with all the maturity... and many also develop into a deep understanding that theynare fine and solid if a partner does not come along... i have been married, but prefer not to be at this point. Im too busy with meaningful endeavors that were nearly impossible without a partner who didn't get it..

  • @vusaltahmazli
    @vusaltahmazli 10 місяців тому +4

    Dr. Taraban possesses such a rich linguistic repertoire, every time I see him speak, as a non-native, I find myself absorbing new vocabulary in the English language! Hats off to your mastery of expression, sir!

  • @WillardLund
    @WillardLund 10 місяців тому +34

    Dude, you are absolutely killing it with this channel. Fantastic content.

  • @funwithmadness
    @funwithmadness 10 місяців тому +22

    I know this wasn't intended to be funny, it truly isn't, but I couldn't stop laughing throughout it. Great job, sir!

    • @josealexi5141
      @josealexi5141 10 місяців тому +6

      I spit out my coffee when he said "women need to learn and adjust to what MEN want..."

    • @Grimmes12
      @Grimmes12 9 місяців тому +1

      @@josealexi5141 and God forbid you tell women that lmaoooo thats the funniest part of all

  • @Rick40years
    @Rick40years 10 місяців тому +12

    I think that is exactly true. However, women in their 30s should not waste time moving in with a man without a ring. They cannot afford to waste time. Usually the roommate scenario is a waste of time.

  • @hrthrhs
    @hrthrhs 10 місяців тому +59

    Honestly I have never heard anyone encourage women to improve themselves. This is brilliant.

    • @thenightmare6204
      @thenightmare6204 9 місяців тому +1

      The right man will do, they have to improve of they want to keep a man who has standard

    • @schnee78
      @schnee78 9 місяців тому +3

      Really? Is in your first day on the Internet?)

    • @hrthrhs
      @hrthrhs 9 місяців тому +4

      @@schnee78 Who else have you heard on the internet encourage women to improve themselves?

    • @schnee78
      @schnee78 9 місяців тому +3

      @@hrthrhs there us a lot of content for women how to become the so called high value woman and so on. Can't remember the names because I am not really into such things. There is a ton of books also.

    • @Victhemighty
      @Victhemighty 5 місяців тому

      @@schnee78 all those books do is tell women that they are perfect they way they are and men are always the problem, same thing for female youtubers

  • @julianhum1290
    @julianhum1290 10 місяців тому +74

    I typically prefer a woman that's closer to 30 than closer to 20, simply because they do have more life experience and the potential to have developed more of a personality and appreciation for quality men. The only problem is, many of them have done neither of those.
    It's not your age, it's your attitude. Same goes for men.

    • @LiGHTProductions
      @LiGHTProductions 9 місяців тому

      Spot on! 🙌

    • @Bob-v8h
      @Bob-v8h 8 місяців тому

      More sexual experiences before they become asexual with you whilst you foot the bill for a massive mortgage?

    • @naranjamorena
      @naranjamorena Місяць тому

      I agreed, it is not about the age or how they look, it's the attitude

    • @immortaljanus
      @immortaljanus 25 днів тому +2

      I've met mature 19yr olds and immature 38yr olds. Age brings little to the foolish.

  • @emilygildea
    @emilygildea 10 місяців тому +160

    Anyone else think Orion should do a reading of a Jane Austen novel? The impersonations of the Victorians was great 😂

    • @pc7872
      @pc7872 10 місяців тому +7

      I would actually pay to watch that!

    • @ethan-sq6zv
      @ethan-sq6zv 10 місяців тому +3

      Exactly what I was thinking 😂😂

    • @WildMidwest1
      @WildMidwest1 10 місяців тому +15

      Orion was a professional actor before he became a clinical psychologist. He’s just reliving old theatre roles.

    • @mrsherwood2599
      @mrsherwood2599 10 місяців тому +6

      Aunt Melba lol

    • @codniggh1139
      @codniggh1139 10 місяців тому

      Can I have some info about this reference?

  • @thenattygorilla
    @thenattygorilla 9 місяців тому +183

    As a guy in his thirties, I definitely get along more with women who are around my age. I definitely still think they're attractive and I kinda prefer them over "younger" women. As long as they have similar values, can understand me on a deeper level and have chemistry with me.

    • @xxxstar90dustxxxr
      @xxxstar90dustxxxr 9 місяців тому +15

      Of course you are, and how can a woman in her 30s could not "still" be attractive? 30s are a very young age and especially for women.

    • @Trynottoblink
      @Trynottoblink 9 місяців тому +22

      I’m in my early thirties too and I know exactly what you’re talking about. I tend to have longer lasting relationships with older women anyway and there are tons of women over thirty who look gorgeous because they’ve still been taking care of themselves

    • @elainer8288
      @elainer8288 5 місяців тому

      I also prefer to be with someone my own age. 😊

    • @sofiadossantos507
      @sofiadossantos507 4 місяці тому +2

      @@Trynottoblink you are a mature man

    • @taywin9012
      @taywin9012 4 місяці тому +3

      That's really only because there are so few feminine 20 something year old chiks out there so the next best thing r the feminine 30 somethings ......

  • @chrisstone2506
    @chrisstone2506 10 місяців тому +93

    I have been dating over 30 for 14 years now. My dating life has been great. The women I’ve met have been great and reasonable.
    There are so many quality women out there, and if you can’t find them maybe you aren’t as amazing as you think you are. Honestly consider that. Blame other people all you want, but if you aren’t getting the dating results that you want, it’s on you. Love finds the lovable. Know that fact. If you aren’t getting results, that’s life telling you that you are fucking up somehow.

    • @XTheSpartanX7
      @XTheSpartanX7 10 місяців тому

      lmao you can do everything right and still fuckup. Can't change someone genetics no matter how hard they try. If you are a tall white guy I'm sure you have it good.

    • @VanessaKiara
      @VanessaKiara 10 місяців тому +18

      law of attraction! there’s so many great people out there. both sides are just too bitter for their own good

    • @Leo90009
      @Leo90009 10 місяців тому +3

      Preach

    • @cool08player
      @cool08player 10 місяців тому +3

      This is very hard to believe. You've met multiple wmn over 30 who were "great and reasonable"? You seem to be the only one with this capability. What's your secret?

    • @rensii-e8b
      @rensii-e8b 9 місяців тому +3

      I agree with you. I think many that are left alone and complaining from both genders, share similar characteristics… like the idealism, delusion and somehow still wanting a 10/10 for no reason. It’s not about dropping your standards, it’s more about being open, realistic and willing to do the work to make yourself better (working out, improving looks, personality, etc)

  • @Nordic_Sky
    @Nordic_Sky 10 місяців тому +624

    It amazes me how many US women over 50 not only think the game isn't over yet, but have demands just as high as when they were in their 20s. And then they are surprised they stay single.

    • @sithraeil
      @sithraeil 10 місяців тому +75

      it's global

    • @susandavis903
      @susandavis903 10 місяців тому

      Zero surprises for an over 50:female. They WANT to remain single, or they have major psychological baggage.

    • @ConsultColin-fv6rc
      @ConsultColin-fv6rc 10 місяців тому +12

      That's why I prefer higher interest women only. I find American women more reasonable than Northern European women generally. My best experiences mostly

    • @WildMidwest1
      @WildMidwest1 10 місяців тому +52

      Truth. High milage cars with tons of rust and a broken fender expecting MSRP+. 😂

    • @leonsalem7129
      @leonsalem7129 10 місяців тому +25

      The delusions do not go away just with time

  • @grinningchicken
    @grinningchicken 10 місяців тому +304

    Women always have an option even if its not the option they want🤣

    • @Burger-man-4
      @Burger-man-4 10 місяців тому +37

      They would rather die alone if they didn’t get Drake.

    • @johnroberts3824
      @johnroberts3824 10 місяців тому +41

      An option for sex, yes, but maybe not for marriage.

    • @grinningchicken
      @grinningchicken 10 місяців тому +22

      @@johnroberts3824 Simps of the World “You underestimate my Power🔥”

    • @ACruz-kq9di
      @ACruz-kq9di 10 місяців тому

      True. A woman can be 70 and still have simps willing to risk it all for some dusty pvssy 😂

    • @idesel
      @idesel 10 місяців тому +3

      ​@Boxingchampion851😂😂😂

  • @colinh9294
    @colinh9294 10 місяців тому +510

    I went on a date with a 31yr lady last year, and when she decided that I wasnt her guy, she literally said "Im going to die alone", on the date.
    I also dated a 35 yr that told me at the end that she was going to try artificial help to have a baby.
    Both girls seemed hopeless.

    • @Decimo10X
      @Decimo10X 10 місяців тому +34

      Damn, you're fun..

    • @susanhaines7358
      @susanhaines7358 10 місяців тому +73

      😂😂😂 she literally said that on a date...

    • @Last_one_before_I_go
      @Last_one_before_I_go 10 місяців тому

      Women can be incredibly picky and unrealistic. This is one sounds like a drab downer. The problem's with her, not you.

    • @rajakghosh6602
      @rajakghosh6602 10 місяців тому +20

      Should have got her a cat and a wine bottle.

    • @MilosStojanovicSrb
      @MilosStojanovicSrb 10 місяців тому +17

      Uh, you should step up your game asap :))

  • @ToddZien
    @ToddZien 5 місяців тому

    Thanks!

  • @thomasclarke6934
    @thomasclarke6934 10 місяців тому +51

    I'm a man, but from what I've seen... A woman who takes care of her body keeps most of her value on the sexual marketplace no matter how old she gets. Some of their options may go away, but they will never experience anything close to the scarcity that men are facing. The real "wall" that most women encounter is when they become overweight. Most men do not prefer obese women, and most single over-30 American women are obese. I'm not trying to be mean, this is just honest advice that I think we need to destigmatize. Staying in shape is easily the most important thing any woman can do to be attractive, but for some reason we have just collectively agreed not to point it out. And besides that, people should be staying fit anyways because IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND IMPROVES ALMOST EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.

    • @ameliamorningstar
      @ameliamorningstar 10 місяців тому +4

      🎯💯 agree. Save for times when it’s out of a person’s control (injury, medication side effect etc) allowing yourself to get to that point says a lot. It is very telling, yet completely unacceptable to say this out loud.

    • @lchpdmq
      @lchpdmq 6 місяців тому +1

      This is objectively wrong, options close fast

    • @Alex-bl8uh
      @Alex-bl8uh 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@lchpdmq you are objectively wrong

    • @NN6996-O
      @NN6996-O 3 місяці тому +1

      Truth has been written

    • @KeyaCares
      @KeyaCares 25 днів тому

      Thank you for sharing this

  • @scaldon2
    @scaldon2 10 місяців тому +256

    The problem is women intgeir 30s often come with baggage. Example children from multiple men and alot of emotional hurt fro dealing with fboys in their 20s . And they still expect a happy ending

    • @Donoloui
      @Donoloui 10 місяців тому +53

      Men too. Relationships may not workout or you may have not gotten the right guidance growing up. But as long as you’ve healed and learned you qualify for a happy ending. People can change man. Stop being so rigid in this redpill philosophy

    • @matgamer5916
      @matgamer5916 10 місяців тому +43

      @@Donolouiyou can’t really go men to, when majority of men under a certain age bracket has no kids.👀

    • @jared3003
      @jared3003 10 місяців тому +68

      ​@@Donoloui😂😂😂 Congratulations you have earned your black belt in simpjutsu

    • @scaldon2
      @scaldon2 10 місяців тому +1

      @@matgamer5916 absolutely. In the black community 54 percent of black men are single and childless.

    • @vincemartin5323
      @vincemartin5323 10 місяців тому +25

      No he has a Point. Men can carry baggage as well, People handle their burdens differently.
      Respect goes to people who make the best out of it

  • @Sol.Creatrix
    @Sol.Creatrix 10 місяців тому +3

    Love this episode! My pride has gotten me far in terms of work ethic, but when it comes to taking a more active approach to dating I can see how it’s gotten in the way. We’re told constantly by other women that the man has to pursue because it’s in their nature, the whole “if he wanted to he would” etc. There are just so many “rules” on both sides these days that I don’t even know what’s natural: organic when it comes to dating anymore.

    • @mentoriii3475
      @mentoriii3475 10 місяців тому +3

      Social media ruined most of women from infinite attention from men, as a man i would have a hard time settling down with a normal person if i had 300 women dm'ing me consistently, the paradox of options is a real thing

    • @nicolem889
      @nicolem889 9 місяців тому

      ⁠@@mentoriii3475That’s a complete lie. You’re projecting from your own failures. Maybe social media ruined it for you because you have an excuse to not leave the house. Women will stay single until regularly men learn to be sexually attractive.

  • @drunkencitizen6168
    @drunkencitizen6168 10 місяців тому +1

    Together with the 5 endgames one of your best videos by far.
    You succeed beautifully at formulating mazy thoughts and ideas which exist in most of us into crystal clear statements and ideas.
    Thank you so much Dr. Taraban for your work, I'm glad I found your channel a while ago.

  • @catherinevandor9988
    @catherinevandor9988 10 місяців тому +9

    I was widowed at 40, remarried right before my 50th birthday as a female.... very happy.

    • @spiritofalaska
      @spiritofalaska Місяць тому

      let me get who gives a Eff of the line for ya

  • @timelessredlipstick
    @timelessredlipstick 10 місяців тому +9

    it's never too late for anything! God is good.

  • @ShonnMorris
    @ShonnMorris 10 місяців тому +62

    I hope the women really listened to this because its solid advice! When I was younger (I'm 52 now) the women over 30 that I noticed were those who made an effort. In fact, I would argue that such women even have an advantage over younger women if they are attractive and kind. Men like to take the path of least resistance in the dating world so any attractive woman who makes an effort will put herself at a big advantage over most other women. Is it 100%? No, but nothing is. What it will do is great increase your odds of winning as a womam

    • @allenlin7333
      @allenlin7333 10 місяців тому +8

      yet women complain about life being not 100%....she'd literally tell you the only one time she tried making an effort and got nothing back from Chad, which served as a lesson or some sort of truama that led to her never trying again.

    • @ShonnMorris
      @ShonnMorris 10 місяців тому +11

      @@allenlin7333 Good points and yeah, women CANNOT handle rejection at all. Well, at least outward rejection and we don't outwardly reject them as hard as they reject us. Women actually do get rejected more than they realize but men tend to reject women on the back end. these are the guys women say are "emotionally unavailable" or are "afraid of commitment". They don't realize that they need to add two words to each of those phrases; "for me" or "with me". Women don't realize that the guys who won't commit to them have rejected them for a relationship but still want sex from them. it is the gendered equivalent of being friendzoned.

    • @josealexi5141
      @josealexi5141 10 місяців тому +7

      _"I hope the women really listened to this because its solid advice!"_
      your hope has been wasted.

    • @ShonnMorris
      @ShonnMorris 10 місяців тому +5

      @@josealexi5141 If just one or two women listen, that's a win.

    • @josealexi5141
      @josealexi5141 10 місяців тому +3

      @@ShonnMorris then we all agree this is a loss, because ZERO women will listen.

  • @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner
    @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner 9 місяців тому +40

    I am middle eastern and it is not that easy because people think our values are weird lol. I don’t drink, smoke, and hate clubs. I like to dance just not in that environment. Sex is for marriage for me. It is hard to find someone you like with similar values! Men from my community want an IG model. I don’t think they understand that without IG those apps are not real life. Good luck everyone 💗

    • @TransgirlsEnjoyer
      @TransgirlsEnjoyer 9 місяців тому +1

      they want IG models to do all kind of "other" stuff with them in Dubai

    • @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner
      @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner 9 місяців тому

      @@TransgirlsEnjoyer yeah but they are going to get older and by that time the good ones are gone or it is too late for kids

    • @TransgirlsEnjoyer
      @TransgirlsEnjoyer 9 місяців тому

      @@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner yep modern lifestyle seems to negatively affect biological fertility in both sexes. Modern adult kids don't want kids, I m like that but I will be willing to give up being a kid for a girl like u

    • @AndrewTheVikings
      @AndrewTheVikings 9 місяців тому +1

      Have you ever thought about looking at other men in different areas based on infrastructure/blue collar department, mostly men over there tend to have class. There is this saying, "it's not if you can live with him, it's if you can't live without him". If he were to propose and you aren't sure, then he isn't the guy for you. Kindness trumps intelligence. It doesn't matter how intelligent he is, if he isn't nice, it won't matter. You need a husband that likes you and is kind to you. And the most important thing in his life is you. I hope this helps you understand things.

    • @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner
      @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner 9 місяців тому +2

      @@AndrewTheVikings I don’t really care too much what he does as long as he can provide and be physically there(some jobs they work forever) I see no point in being in a relationship if he is never there. I think it could be my area and also I don’t really go to places like clubs. I wouldn’t know where to meet guys my age that accept a woman that doesn’t have sex or drink. We’re the outcasts and I am fine with it. Yesss you are speaking FACTS! I am so tired of people telling me “he is intelligent” lol so? As long we get along and we can work as a team, we are good. And you are right, I have to like the person inside and out or else I will resent that person and vice versa.

  • @DavidHallidayMusic
    @DavidHallidayMusic 10 місяців тому

    Thanks, Orion. So happy to see you blowing up. I discovered you in the 4K-subscriber days. Goes to show that quality gets attention.

  • @michellevi4919
    @michellevi4919 10 місяців тому

    This is easily the best video directed towards women (of any age, let's be real) by any man or woman on youtube in regards to dating marketplace expectations.

  • @gg_ingy
    @gg_ingy 10 місяців тому +61

    I'm 37, single and have 2 kids. Most of my (old) friends have ended up in the same spot. What "the internet" seems to forget, is that where there is a single mom, there is also a single dad. They tend to date in that pool, there are a lot of people who are in that situation actually. Many also prefer to stay single (or have fwb) until the kids are older and they have more free time to spend on a relationship again. People who are not thinking about reproduction anymore are pretty chill when it comes to dating, there is no rush. Scarcity mindset makes people desperate and unattractive. It's all about self development/growth and hopefully having learned lessons from the past to apply in the future. If you put in the work to be a good human, there will be someone for you.
    If you haven't had kids yet but want them, i do believe the 30's is probably the worst time to try and find a healthy relationship. Way too many women are afraid for their biological clock running our and make bad partner choices. Then again, i started my relationship at 25, and waited 6 years to have kids, and the relationship failed as well. So good luck out there y'all!

    • @thelucariamonarchs4889
      @thelucariamonarchs4889 9 місяців тому +2

      its harsh out there for sure, Im not worried about kids myself as a man thats why Im not rushing relationships at all, Id rather be in my 30s to have more stability for my own peace of mind.
      best of luck for you out there!

    • @Grimmes12
      @Grimmes12 9 місяців тому +2

      it is funny that you say that "hopefully learned lessons from the past" because I like to say that "smart people learn from their mistakes, but the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others. which is why I've never done drugs or smoked, never gotten married or moved a woman in and I've never tattoed myself either.

    • @nicolem889
      @nicolem889 9 місяців тому +1

      Yes my friends did the right thing and still got the short in of the stick. More than one are divorced and with the child or children. Got divorced in their 20s. I think the odds of it working out with the type of characters a girl dates in high school and their 20s in America is pretty slim.

    • @Jaycarbrownie12
      @Jaycarbrownie12 9 місяців тому

      Are you a single mom or coparenting ?

    • @gg_ingy
      @gg_ingy 9 місяців тому

      @@Jaycarbrownie12 We co-parent, why?

  • @petersingh3255
    @petersingh3255 10 місяців тому +4

    10/10 for the true to life depiction of Victorian era England.

  • @bellatindale3120
    @bellatindale3120 10 місяців тому +3

    I love your content and I had a good laugh with the handkerchief scenario 😂

  • @moeytja
    @moeytja 9 місяців тому +1

    I love how real and practical u r

  • @KeyaCares
    @KeyaCares 10 місяців тому

    Congratulations on the book! I can’t wait to read it.

  • @cilantro6717
    @cilantro6717 10 місяців тому +410

    It requires women over 30 to be accountable and put in work?
    They're doomed 😂

    • @josealexi5141
      @josealexi5141 10 місяців тому +21

      correct.

    • @TheAustrianPainter87
      @TheAustrianPainter87 10 місяців тому +32

      Time is the only thing that can humble the modern Jezebel.

    • @shinymew2887
      @shinymew2887 10 місяців тому +16

      @@TheAustrianPainter87even then, they’d rather get smacked by an 18 wheeler than to admit their failures.

    • @michellevi4919
      @michellevi4919 10 місяців тому

      You comment is funny but it highlights a problem. Our society is structured to create lemmings out of women because they aren't being taught this stuff by default.

    • @APsGTG
      @APsGTG 9 місяців тому +5

      @@TheAustrianPainter87 they will blame men forever in order to maintain their egos

  • @Snarge22
    @Snarge22 10 місяців тому +30

    Want to have a leg up on your female competition ladies? Then be fit, feminine, and friendly. Lose the weight and no excuses. And like Dr. Taraban said, you need to make yourself available. Lastly, you must drop your excessive standards as you, like the men out there are mostly average. That's right, you're not special, you are average.

  • @TawaraboshiGenba
    @TawaraboshiGenba 10 місяців тому +192

    Premise 1: I want kids.
    Premise 2: you need 5-8 years to really get to know if a woman is a somewhat safe choice for a wife and mother of your children.
    Premise 3: a pregnancy after 35 is called a geriatric pregnancy.
    Join the dots.

    • @susandavis903
      @susandavis903 10 місяців тому +24

      Absolutely true. If you are male & want children it makes zero sense to date women over 35. It is possible to form a solid relationship in 3-5yrs, so a woman at 30 might be OK. Not everyone wants children. With great communication skills you have greater options. (Married at 29 after 5yrs shacked up, child at 36 & still married 27yrs)

    • @timothybogle1461
      @timothybogle1461 10 місяців тому +11

      I am mixed on kids. If I have them I have them.
      I have two standards. 35 or older I want to date a woman who doesn't want them or is not sure, less chance of pressure.
      Under 35, I want a woman who wants them, then I can do that vetting.

    • @jeanr8359
      @jeanr8359 10 місяців тому +23

      True…. But 1st cousin married at 35 to younger man…. Two kids. Another first cousin about 34…. 4 kids to younger man. Sister married 7 year younger husband at 34…. Decided she wanted kids at 38…. One kid at 39 and second at 42. It’s better when younger but not a done deal.

    • @VanessaKiara
      @VanessaKiara 10 місяців тому +65

      no smart woman is going to waste 5-8 years for you to decide if she’s a “safe choice” and this is coming from a 25 year old. it doesn’t take nearly that long you just want to use up her prime years.

    • @rubennavar
      @rubennavar 10 місяців тому +11

      ​@@VanessaKiarahow Long then ? Nobody wasted their time, they did

  • @ChrisPTY507
    @ChrisPTY507 10 місяців тому +1

    Another gem of a video, distilling wisdom.

  • @guidospaini7339
    @guidospaini7339 10 місяців тому +4

    Genius! The best metaphor in a long time: "Dropping the handkerchief".
    Congrats! "Questa è una ottima battuta".
    And, we man, if we want "that", we have to be aware of "Dropped Handkerchiefs".

    • @stephanie7572
      @stephanie7572 10 місяців тому

      Asking for directions can be the dropped handkerchief. You don't know the area, you're trying to find this address, does he by chance know where Fogerty Street is, your GPS doesn't seem to be working...

    • @guidospaini7339
      @guidospaini7339 10 місяців тому

      @@stephanie7572
      👍😄😄

  • @staretimecomics
    @staretimecomics 10 місяців тому +72

    My two cents: Some women over 30 are way bomb. Some even have 100% the looks. Though, nothing is more important than faith, personality, empathy, positivity, humor, and honesty (even blunt honesty). Extra points if she has skills. Oh, and she should know how to cook.

    • @tomspriggs9478
      @tomspriggs9478 10 місяців тому +5

      FFCAN - Fit Feminine Compliant Affectionate Nurturing. A woman either fits into your lifestyle or she doesn't. That's all there is.

  • @bigspence6898
    @bigspence6898 10 місяців тому +11

    Man this video is great. Such a clear way to explain the game. Uncomfortable yes, but it’s great seeing both sides being told.

  • @j.p.5716
    @j.p.5716 10 місяців тому +198

    If a woman want's a man, it's easy. She just needs to figure out what that man wants... and give it to him. If she wants to keep that man, keep figuring out what he wants and keep giving it to him. It really is that simple, but the vast majority of women are too prideful to do this.

    • @hamiltonstephanus7457
      @hamiltonstephanus7457 10 місяців тому +8

      And therefore they will remain single and full of bitterness. Its just a small matter or fraction of changing their behaviours what they want..... But instead choose the upside🤨🤨

    • @baffinsansterre
      @baffinsansterre 10 місяців тому +20

      Supply value in the relationship (i.e. bring to the table) is a foreign concept to many women.

    • @leviathon2
      @leviathon2 10 місяців тому +5

      Get your passports, gentlemen. Problem solved!

    • @GermanTaffer
      @GermanTaffer 10 місяців тому +1

      No way a 60 old women can persuade me anymore. She has to sacrifice herself. If I were her , I would never do it.

    • @CRose9205
      @CRose9205 10 місяців тому +16

      And luckily, for women, they can just ask men what they want and we will tell them. Unlike women who keep it all a secret and want you to be a mind reader.

  • @rogersnick17
    @rogersnick17 10 місяців тому +2

    I love this mutually beneficial advise.

  • @brow1920
    @brow1920 10 місяців тому

    Great episode - but my favorite part was listening to him show off that voice acting ability! Love it!

  • @mommom3172
    @mommom3172 9 місяців тому +5

    This is very interesting. I feel fortunate that I met my husband when I was 26. He was 36. We have a nice life, 2 kids, 15 years in, we have our routines & have made strides on our goals. I'm content. It's nice to have a partner in life. I can not even imagine dating now in my mid-40's. God forbid something happened to my husband, I would probably just stay single. It seems like a lot of work these days to find a mate.

  • @shawnlinnehan7349
    @shawnlinnehan7349 10 місяців тому +69

    Listening to these types of videos is the only time I don’t mind being kind of old. None of this crap happened when I was younger. I did things the old fashioned way. After being with my girlfriend for two months I got her pregnant. We’re married 30 years next month and raised three sons to adulthood. We named our middle one Orion and thought we were being unique. I don’t know about now a days but the only way to make marriage work is just to decide to make it work. There’s no secret. We probably talked about getting divorced a few times over the year’s earlier in the marriage, but just didn’t. Now neither of us would even consider such a stupid thing. Neither of us could live the life we’re living now if we split up and we know at this stage neither of us would find anyone better and we don’t want to.

    • @hamiltonstephanus7457
      @hamiltonstephanus7457 10 місяців тому +4

      💯👌👌I salute you bro......

    • @Mel-cc9vr
      @Mel-cc9vr 10 місяців тому +2

      Needed to read this. Bless you bro 🫡

    • @josealexi5141
      @josealexi5141 10 місяців тому +7

      Men STILL want this. women totally changed.

    • @mechtech220
      @mechtech220 10 місяців тому +2

      HEAR! HEAR!

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 10 місяців тому +4

      I think younger generations have such a warped and unrealistic view of marriage and relationships .. they seem to expect that it will be fun most of the time and that headaches will be minimal. They bought into the Disney/lifetime movie fantasies

  • @2Oldcoots
    @2Oldcoots 10 місяців тому +5

    Well said sir! The game changes so women must change their strategy and become more aggressive!!! Truth.

    • @FreshGreenMoss
      @FreshGreenMoss 10 місяців тому +4

      They won't, though. Women don't act. They wait.

    • @2Oldcoots
      @2Oldcoots 10 місяців тому +1

      @@FreshGreenMoss Agreed that the vast majority won't. In my opinion every American woman over 30 would benefit from hearing this episode by Dr. Tariban--most especially the story about how women used to drop their handkerchief in front of a man they were interested in so they had a reason to interact!!!

  • @jenniferw.8647
    @jenniferw.8647 Місяць тому +1

    I met my boyfriend at 33, he was 36 and widowed. He had one beautiful little baby. I thought I'd never find love and be happy, and now here I am over the moon, building a beautiful life together. We have gone ring shopping and I know he has it now. I'm praying for you ladies out there. If I can find it, you can too.

  • @stefanadamcik8221
    @stefanadamcik8221 7 місяців тому

    Thank you for the good advice Doc. Your advice serves both men and women.

  • @literalvampirepotbellygobl5629
    @literalvampirepotbellygobl5629 10 місяців тому +174

    Yeah, this matches my experience pretty well. Women are not destined to be alone once they reach the age of 30. They just have to give up this "I deserve this" and "he betta that" and "I know my worth now" BS that you see all over the internet.
    A regular, average man in his late thirties would rather be with a fit, feminine, friendly, low-maintenance woman in her 30s who makes his life easier and more comfortable than continue to work his ass off to deal with annoying, high-maintenance party girls in their 20s. Chad will still mess with those girls, but a regular dude would just be happy with a steady 6 who makes his life better.
    So ladies, if you're in your 30s and you want a man, you have to do something you've never had to do in your entire life, and probably no one has ever told you. You have to find out what that man wants out of a relationship and then you have to provide all those things - with a smile on your face. If you're not willing to do that, that's fine. But you're going to end up alone like all these other 30+ women who think they can give everything away for free in their 20s, but men will still be willing to wife them up in their 30s in return for absolutely nothing.

    • @susanhaines7358
      @susanhaines7358 10 місяців тому

      Vetting is what Christians do all the while during courtship..the world lost their mind....old fashioned values will win... even if ya all don't like it.

    • @anamosa1574
      @anamosa1574 10 місяців тому +6

      Well said

    • @junetaylor8396
      @junetaylor8396 10 місяців тому

      Women in their thirties generally just start dating men in their twenties. A whole new crop of desperate guys

    • @josealexi5141
      @josealexi5141 10 місяців тому +23

      @literal: _"You have to find out what that man wants out of a relationship and then you have to provide all those things"_
      I thought you were serious until I saw this, then I knew you were trolling. Women finding out what a MAN wants? That's utter fantasy!!

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 10 місяців тому +14

      But men need to find out what women want and are attracted to as well. I see many guys acting like they are going to live out the remainder of their life without a mate and be happy but I think they are fooling themselves. Only a tiny % of men and women can live their life without a mate and be fine and they are not the types to watch content like this lol

  • @BunyipDude
    @BunyipDude 10 місяців тому +44

    I met my wife when she was 33 and I was 35. Retrospectively, I would have preferred someone at least a few years younger than her (28-31), but the problem is that I tried and failed in multiple relationships with younger women. I was previously engaged to someone 6 years younger (I was born in 1985, she was born in 1991 - we were 31 and 25 when we met), and I also dated two girls born in 1998 while I was single, between my time with my ex-fiancé and my current wife. The problem I've found with most Gen Z women (which also applies to many so-called Zillennials like my ex) is that many of them have a lot of mental health issues and baggage that makes them less-than-ideal as marriage prospects. And many of them are simply not interested in settling down at all, either in their 20s OR 30s (when they get there). I do agree that it's not ideal to date a 30-something woman if you think that she's settling for you, and that she's alpha-widowed, but the grass is simply not greener with the below-30 crowd. 30-something women may be delusional for expecting that they're going to get a guy who's a perfect 10, but nowadays, a 30- or 40-something guy trying to wife up a typical 22-year old is just as delusional. Even IF you can date one (and I've done so), you might very well find the experience to be a case of, "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."

    • @codniggh1139
      @codniggh1139 10 місяців тому +4

      I dated a lot of women including older and younger and my same age, I was born in 1985 like you. I realized that before 2014, women of my age younger and older were more functional than today, I am from Mexico, but this is alik in almost everywhere. Social media changed a lot of women, if you found a lot of single mother or single women with no kids that were very easy to be with,this began to change when social media made them very sick. Now you see that all, specially the single mothers and the older women are very aggressive, they think that they have a lot of value. The thing is that I can say the opposite to you, is very difficult to get along with that kind of women because of that, but younger women are easier by far.
      You have to realize something: that if you encountered younger women with that kind of problemas, I can assure you that when they get older they will be worse. So In any case, you have to find younger women that don't have those issues.

    • @BunyipDude
      @BunyipDude 10 місяців тому +8

      @@codniggh1139 I hear what you're saying, and agree with you to some extent. I certainly think that every 30-something man should aspire to date younger 20-something women, and take advantage of the fact that he's in his peak SMV years. It is also true that, in theory, younger women are more adaptable. However, I do think that it's still WAY harder to find 20-something women who are marriage material nowadays, and that any man following the Manosphere's recommendation to ONLY date younger is setting himself up for failure. And at the end of the day, you can't make a 20-something woman into a wife if she would rather party and sleep around for as long as possible - and that is how too many of the Gen Z women think nowadays.
      I would say that the trends that you describe also started even a few years before 2014. I started noticing that the dating scene was becoming warped in the early-2010s, which is when Instagram and Tinder were first launched. I blame those two apps for most of the ills that afflict most modern young women and causing the decline of the dating scene.

    • @codniggh1139
      @codniggh1139 10 місяців тому +2

      @@BunyipDude well, I don't know in the USA, but I think is the same because I have seen similar behaviors, but women and men from new generations tend to be more isolated and tend not to go outside their homes as before, because social media and devices make people prisoner of this. Yes, surely there still are like that, but I think and I have noticed that the older the generation, the more they went to be more of parties and all of that stuff. Is amazing how even being adults, new generations are more like children than anything in this regard. People is becoming more coward to the life, so I don't have too much problem With that. Anyway, goo you were luck with your wife because most of good women that are not sick and crazy were married long ago.

    • @BunyipDude
      @BunyipDude 10 місяців тому +2

      @@codniggh1139 Have to admit that I can't compare - when I've been to Mexico, I've never been anywhere besides resorts in Cancun. I have no experience with the local culture. You are correct that with Gen Z (and now Gen Alpha), there is a tendency for them to spend more time in online communities/social media and never interact with anyone in real life. But for the girls who are putting themselves out there, they are showing the tendencies that I describe above. Still very irresponsible, though.

    • @codniggh1139
      @codniggh1139 10 місяців тому +2

      @@BunyipDude well, many things coincide independently of the country. I think that maybe the problem with them is where you got them, but still I think that are dar below intensity in going party as the older generations were.

  • @BestInImpact
    @BestInImpact 10 місяців тому +9

    This is a good video, but the reality is that most women aren't going to change their strategy.

  • @OGFC
    @OGFC 10 місяців тому +1

    Not exactly on today’s topic , I’m 72 divorced awhile ago. I’m dating a Vietnamese woman about 50 years old. There is a big difference between American women and Asian women.
    I’ve been following you for sometime now and one thing I specifically remember is that a relationship/marriage is a contract. When I felt this woman was a good partner I played out the relationship responsibilities, the man provides and protects and the woman makes the house a home.
    It only took her two or three days to come around and commit to our relationship.
    1st generation Asian women are very pragmatic and take their position in a relationship very seriously. We have some little ups and downs mostly due to language translations. Vietnamese is a hard nut to crack at first until you get into the flow.
    So, thank you Dr. I knew a lot but you putting it all together in your posts is very helpful.

  • @317consulting5
    @317consulting5 10 місяців тому

    Hysterical and accurate analogy with the handkerchief drop.

  • @rome6872
    @rome6872 2 місяці тому +6

    Comment section basically proving what Dr. Orion has said. You see many men either describing how they met their wife in her 30s or men saying what needs to happen in order for them to date a 30 + old women.
    Bottom line you see most men are still willing to play ball with them. The line isnt held as tightly as you might think depending on what spaces you occupy in these youtube streets . I find that Men talk a good game but affinity for women always exist .

  • @Kate-fu7kb
    @Kate-fu7kb 9 місяців тому +19

    Value is about how you value yourself. I’m 37 and left a bad marriage a couple years ago. I’ve never been told I was beautiful (by total strangers) more than in the last couple years. Probably because I’ve never been happier.
    For me, it’s much better not being married. If a man is disrespectful, you can walk away. If you’re married, you can’t. I can provide for myself financially. Women are expected to have full-time jobs and do most of the housework. It’s much more work having to take care of someone else than doing whatever I want. I have no interest in being a personal assistant again.
    I hope I’ll eventually meet an equal partner, but my life is much more peaceful and easy by myself for now, so I can’t relate to the content of this video.

    • @Milioem
      @Milioem 9 місяців тому +2

      My guy didn’t want to help around the house because he brought in more money. Me asking for his help made him feel like I wasn’t appreciating his monetary contributions. He saw it as me nagging or complaining.
      Did you split everything money wise with him?

    • @Victhemighty
      @Victhemighty 5 місяців тому

      i'm sorry but every old woman tells that story about how people keep telling her how beautiful she is or how younger men still hit on her, to cope with the fact she's old and not as attractive anymore

    • @Kate-fu7kb
      @Kate-fu7kb 5 місяців тому

      @@Victhemighty Where did I say anything about being hit on by younger men? Being 37 you now get hit on by guys in their late 20s up to guys in their 70s. The age range really opens up.

  • @scotttyson607
    @scotttyson607 10 місяців тому +36

    Almost any woman can get a man. The problem is that she will almost always end up being disappointed with him.

    • @chipsteve
      @chipsteve 10 місяців тому +6

      The amount of women I know - who I KNOW are setting for whoever will LTR them, then bragging they've found their "soulmate" on FB... Holy crap...

    • @p19shelt
      @p19shelt 7 місяців тому +4

      It's cuz they are delusional.

    • @Countcho
      @Countcho 3 місяці тому

      women overestimate their worth due to the fabricated economy built around pretending women are doing better than they are. in my high school, they even gave girls teams more money than guys teams in competitions to "even it out".

    • @MomoTheDisciple
      @MomoTheDisciple 2 місяці тому +2

      @@p19sheltwomen hate reality

  • @tonyferrari6917
    @tonyferrari6917 10 місяців тому +1

    Love this channel! Wish I found it out sooner, in life.

  • @ignaciomourullo944
    @ignaciomourullo944 10 місяців тому

    Thank you very much Dr. You are doing a incredibly and excellent work for the men and women :) !!!!

  • @TitoBoy1968
    @TitoBoy1968 10 місяців тому +167

    I prefer women who are fit, feminine, friendly, financially smart, forward thinking, and most of all, faithful.
    If a woman is in her 30's but has all these, she's good in my book. 😊

    • @MitsurugiR
      @MitsurugiR 10 місяців тому +41

      Always remember that there is probably a very valid reason why she's still single. Take your time.

    • @Donoloui
      @Donoloui 10 місяців тому +2

      Facts!!

    • @ThePS101
      @ThePS101 10 місяців тому +21

      Good luck finding that. That is VERY RARE. It was already rare for a woman in her 20's. It gets EXPONENTIALLY RARE >30.

    • @475thehitman
      @475thehitman 10 місяців тому +4

      Dork

    • @brandonpreston84
      @brandonpreston84 10 місяців тому

      Exactly!

  • @kerrymillar1267
    @kerrymillar1267 9 місяців тому +15

    When I was in my 20s I had two serious relationships with men also in their 20s that I loved. Same as all the women I knew. What is this nonsense that men aren’t wanted in their 20s.

  • @rajakghosh6602
    @rajakghosh6602 10 місяців тому +243

    So this clip told me already what I knew never get with a woman post 28 - 29 and definitely not after 30.
    Because you don't want to end up as the man she had to settle for as her first choices didn't work out, and she remains in a constant bitterness and disappointed stage as you were neve her first choice.

    • @distinctloafer
      @distinctloafer 10 місяців тому +6

      🤨🤨

    • @ethan-sq6zv
      @ethan-sq6zv 10 місяців тому +15

      Shitty way to look at it but yeah that could be what happens or it could not

    • @agentm83
      @agentm83 10 місяців тому +43

      hate to break it to ya, but for most of us guys, most of the time...we're never going to be their "first choice."

    • @GerardoDelValle.
      @GerardoDelValle. 10 місяців тому +4

      Well said

    • @dificulttocure
      @dificulttocure 10 місяців тому

      @@agentm83 Same applies to women. Do you think men settle with their "first choice" or second or third? Most men settle with whichever woman is willing to be with them.

  • @lauriesimonds9229
    @lauriesimonds9229 10 місяців тому

    It makes me so happy that you use words like irrespective and comeuppance 😊

    • @lauriesimonds9229
      @lauriesimonds9229 9 місяців тому +1

      @AlbertNewton-bf6cr My love for proper English vocabulary is irrespective to my marital status.

  • @terrodar19
    @terrodar19 10 місяців тому +40

    In theory women over 30 should be a lot more easy going /expecting less and easier to talk to because their market value is lower, however this is not what we see out there, its the opposite. I am having such a good time with this 22 yr old (Im 35) i dont ever want to date women my age

    • @thevisitor1012
      @thevisitor1012 10 місяців тому +18

      This. I used to prefer older woman because I assumed that they were less bratty, much more mature, and more reserved. Turns out that they're the same as younger woman, but even more bitter and resentful towards men due to their horrible past experiences with them.

    • @codniggh1139
      @codniggh1139 10 місяців тому +7

      ​@@thevisitor1012that was sometime ago,I am from Mexico and I realized rhr same,I am 38
      When I was 28 or alike, that was the case with older women, but social media have made them to believe and behave as teenagers or worse because they have a lot of baggage. So, before 2014 was rrh case, after 2014 this changed. Social media is a curse for humanity.

    • @Tie509
      @Tie509 10 місяців тому

      ​@@thevisitor1012100%. My most successful and healthy long term relationship is currently with a woman much younger than me. She is far more mature, open to compromise and genuinely loving than any women I met my age. And she insists on paying 50/50 whenever possible. She loves contributing. Women my age mostly expected me to pay 99% of the time.

    • @ST-yc7uj
      @ST-yc7uj 10 місяців тому +10

      Stop using her.

    • @terrodar19
      @terrodar19 10 місяців тому +3

      @@ST-yc7uj using her??? What do u mean. shes actually more girlfriend material than most ive met that are over 30. Shes quite accomplished actually, shes a third lieutenant in the army and working towards a fitness competition

  • @swirvfly
    @swirvfly 10 місяців тому +27

    the average man’s SMV is not higher than the average woman’s SMV at 30+. women always have more options than men. just because you’re a 30 man with your stuff together, doesn’t mean women all of sudden flock to you, unless you’re a famous celebrity.

    • @thechosenone93
      @thechosenone93 10 місяців тому

      Yes that’s true but they are massively easier to get. I literally just saw an example of this last night. It didn’t take an hour and she was ready to do business😏just because the guy had his own business and a car(and she was quite attractive too)

    • @joeybob8196
      @joeybob8196 3 місяці тому

      You’re not being empathetic dude. Guessing you’re a guy, so sex then relationships, chicks are the opposite. Sure any chick that’s not terrible can find a guy to fuck her, it’s can she get him to stick around after. The younger the more beautiful/fertile/virginal a women so more guys want to date her. On the other hand women value power, if you’re a guy in his thirties you’ve been in the game for a decade or two, one would hope you’re more powerful than the teens! Think the fella in the comment above is planning on wifing up the barren chick he fucked?

  • @GJones247
    @GJones247 10 місяців тому +46

    The effort is so important. As man turns above 30 he has done so much to be an attractive partner. you can't just be a lazy person. Most importantly, GO TO THERAPY! some of yall need to heal.

    • @tobe-you-tube6612
      @tobe-you-tube6612 10 місяців тому

      You're right!

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 10 місяців тому +10

      Yeah half the guys in
      This comment section need to lay off the manosphere content a bit and go to therapy or just try to shift their thinking a bit

    • @andrew6815
      @andrew6815 10 місяців тому

      yes but also make sure it isn't just someone who validate everything you say. The goal is growth, not validation

    • @lf4678
      @lf4678 10 місяців тому +3

      Not MOST guys lol..most guys are fat and balding by 35 unfortunately

    • @tigerbear3038
      @tigerbear3038 10 місяців тому

      Therapy often does more harm to women than benefits them.

  • @redpilledman00000
    @redpilledman00000 10 місяців тому +49

    The real issue is that an ever growing number of men have come to the realization that marriage to a modern, westernized, feminized woman is devoid of the benefits that came with marrying a traditional woman.
    Unless women become traditional again, and the family laws change where no-fault divorce is abolished, child custody is more even, and there is no such thing as alimony, men are simply checking out of the entire game.
    There is no longer any benefit with marriage in today's culture and all a man really gains from entering that contract is enormous risk.
    Only 6 in 1000 men are choosing to get married because of our new cultural norms.
    These next few decades are going to be rough for women, no matter what their age is.

    • @JJ-wi2uw
      @JJ-wi2uw 10 місяців тому +5

      Well said.

    • @jasontandy3357
      @jasontandy3357 10 місяців тому

      Good 👍 I hope these strong and independent ladies get every drop of that sweet sweet karma baby

    • @notyoureverydayashleyxoxo
      @notyoureverydayashleyxoxo 9 місяців тому

      Or not

    • @notyoureverydayashleyxoxo
      @notyoureverydayashleyxoxo 9 місяців тому

      @@chadcadsonvii5258 you know what they say about those who ASSume

    • @sofiadossantos507
      @sofiadossantos507 9 місяців тому +1

      Well I guess it is going to be hard for everyone, not only for woman.

  • @samsulam926
    @samsulam926 16 днів тому

    Orion's English accent is terrific.

  • @vivianarts244
    @vivianarts244 9 місяців тому

    Hello! Wauw this is my first time listening to one of your videos. I am stunned! Usualy i hear women talk about this subject or a version spoken in a different way, this is realy good to hear, i never looked at it from this side, you are right and thanj you

  • @mechtech220
    @mechtech220 10 місяців тому +32

    dude i love the cursing! it adds a splash of intensity to these videos. like a little pop of color on a sea of gray. A nice little jab to wake you up.

    • @thelucariamonarchs4889
      @thelucariamonarchs4889 10 місяців тому +1

      I love that too and it's not cursing just because but to actually give emphasis on the advice itself lol

    • @BrianMolstad
      @BrianMolstad 10 місяців тому +1

      I don*t. It just adds vulgarity and crudness.

    • @cosmopolitanbay9508
      @cosmopolitanbay9508 10 місяців тому +1

      I loved the "fuck-ed" ! LOL

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 10 місяців тому

      @@BrianMolstad Did it give you the vapors? LOL

  • @perpetualprocrastinator
    @perpetualprocrastinator 10 місяців тому +7

    It amazes me how men still consider getting married in this day and age especially when a woman can leave the man and leave him financially ruined. Mind boggling.

    • @azar1520
      @azar1520 10 місяців тому +1

      It depends on what state of the union you are. Some states do not allow alimony and others do. Some states respect prenuptial agreements, and others don't. When it comes to child support, they are your children, so helping financially with children is the right thing to do.

  • @JohnnyIsGrey
    @JohnnyIsGrey 10 місяців тому +7

    Women changing and taking accountability for their faults? If it didn’t happen before the age of 30 (leading them to landing a man who propose to them), it isn’t going to happen after 30 (which is too late for HVM).
    Generally (anecdotally) 30+ women double down on their narcissism… So yeah, no. Nothing changes. 🤷‍♂️😂

  • @mdhazeldine
    @mdhazeldine 10 місяців тому

    Orien's impression is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Thanks for making me laugh 😂

  • @willclouded
    @willclouded 10 місяців тому +1

    LOL the Voice acting was very good btw :D

  • @gregwatts3960
    @gregwatts3960 10 місяців тому +4

    I met my wife 20yrs ago at 23.
    In that time I’ve watched half her friends “settle” for great guys and mostly live happily thereafter.
    The other half knocked back guy after guy for more and more trivial reasons. Inc wrong style jacket. Like a Seinfeld episode.
    Sad sight to see them now alone in one bedroom apartments, watching us all raise children and move forward with our lives while they still talk about one night stands and what they need from their Mr right.

  • @likearollingstone007
    @likearollingstone007 10 місяців тому +60

    What ?!
    Women would have to work and make an effort to please her man 😱

    • @castiel4746
      @castiel4746 10 місяців тому +7

      unbelievable.

    • @baffinsansterre
      @baffinsansterre 10 місяців тому +7

      "But I'm the prize."

    • @budbas
      @budbas 10 місяців тому +3

      I'm 10/10 deserved no less.

    • @swirvfly
      @swirvfly 10 місяців тому +1

      “i have to do more than just look presentable?! 😢”

    • @budbas
      @budbas 9 місяців тому

      @TheJosmanboth should please the other. is disgusting to say otherwise..

  • @JohnnyAllan-vj7sj
    @JohnnyAllan-vj7sj 10 місяців тому +8

    I'm a 29 year old man and I feel like it's over.
    I'll believe otherwise when I see it

  • @lsporter88
    @lsporter88 10 місяців тому

    That's absolutely right. Great commentary.

  • @loisherr3989
    @loisherr3989 4 місяці тому

    My new favorite channel.

  • @FoundSheep-AN
    @FoundSheep-AN 9 місяців тому +112

    I live in a country and a city where nobody from upper middle class get marry before 32-35 years old. Women over 30 are young and beautiful.

    • @punkofmudd
      @punkofmudd 9 місяців тому +3

      What country?

    • @famiphon
      @famiphon 9 місяців тому +2

      ❤❤❤

    • @nikto7-b1b
      @nikto7-b1b 9 місяців тому +4

      Korea/Japan?😅

    • @xxxstar90dustxxxr
      @xxxstar90dustxxxr 9 місяців тому

      EXACTLY!

    • @kriskris4214
      @kriskris4214 9 місяців тому +24

      Exactly. I am 30. And until I reached a certain financial goal I didn't even think about getting married at all. Like marrying in 20s is a nonsense. 20s are for building a career, studying, traveling, finding yourself. In my opinion, a person in their 20s is not a ready person yet. 30s are a different story. You have a career, money, perhaps own a house. Priorities set, you are secure about yourself. ☺️

  • @Gdhdjejgfsbh
    @Gdhdjejgfsbh 10 місяців тому +130

    I came here as a boy who wanted to get women🤡 but I came out as a man interested in psychology , history and genetics 🗿 .

  • @drtox06
    @drtox06 10 місяців тому +14

    You can't expect a group of people who avoid accountability like the plague to countenance playing at a (relative) disadvantage.

  • @Arbiter55555
    @Arbiter55555 10 місяців тому +1

    Genuinely loved the handkerchief analogy and tactic. In a world of consent politics and me too, it’s hard for guys to get actionable hints to go talk with women. If a woman feigned helplessness in a similar way, the chivalric piece of me would leap joyfully to the encounter, and things might progress nicely.
    If any women read this, take serious heed at this. Surefire way to get a good quality man of high character to respond well.

  • @louisepotier2784
    @louisepotier2784 10 місяців тому

    Thank-you. That was an interesting talk. I enjoyed it very much. 🙂

  • @IndigoWisdom1
    @IndigoWisdom1 10 місяців тому +74

    There was a Miss USA pageant queen who was terrified of being alone after 30 so much and at the height of the online community pushing the whole "you're going to die alone" narrative that she took her life, jumping out of her highrise apartment at the young age of 30. 😢 Ladies, please don't be so hard on yourself- ESPECIALLY if you are truly beautiful, with a beautiful heart and mind. Life is never over. Where there is hope (and knowledge to do better), there is Future. ❤

    • @allanluis3696
      @allanluis3696 9 місяців тому +6

      lmaooo, she had alot more issues than that...like major instability, the inability to think like a normal adult at 30, prob depression, etc.

    • @Bob-v8h
      @Bob-v8h 8 місяців тому +5

      She should’ve checked her inbox and dms

  • @rdptll
    @rdptll 10 місяців тому +248

    women over 30 are like men who make less than $50k- for all intents and purposes, nobody really wants to be with you as a first or second choice.

    • @theechidna0721
      @theechidna0721 10 місяців тому +48

      That’s brutal on both sides lmao.

    • @deusexmachina9776
      @deusexmachina9776 10 місяців тому +39

      not even 1 minute into the video he calls people who makes such comments as yours as having unhealed wounds and you need to resolve your bitterness

    • @FreshGreenMoss
      @FreshGreenMoss 10 місяців тому +45

      ​@deusexmachina9776 Yeah , we're all hurt. Go point fingers elsewhere.

    • @whenpigsfly8178
      @whenpigsfly8178 10 місяців тому +8

      @@deusexmachina9776 Or he doesn't. People often die with problems, but not actually because of them.

    • @deusexmachina9776
      @deusexmachina9776 10 місяців тому +5

      @@FreshGreenMoss pointing fingers is fun as long as they arent pointed at u

  • @ThePS101
    @ThePS101 10 місяців тому +131

    Of course a WOMAN can STILL find a man. Sure, as PsycHacks says, it would be the BASIC BOB (the "settleDOWN" man).
    But for Basic Bob, he will either enter into a dead (or duty) bedroom. If not, Basic Bob will get divorced because the wife wants to "find herself," or "becomes bored."
    The "wall" is NOT about her looks, but her BAGGAGE. The woman in her 30's already been to every restaurant around town. She already traveled. She been through this. She has been through this. She already has a bunch of bags her exes or herself bought for her. What the heck can Basic Bob do? She already experienced that fancy restaurant. She will just throw Basic Bob's present next to the rest of her bags she bought. She already experienced Chad-Rone's skills. What can Basic Bob do versus Chad in the bed? Basic Bob can't keep his wife from becoming "bored."

    • @susanhaines7358
      @susanhaines7358 10 місяців тому +29

      I will say it till someone hears it....if she has sex with you quickly she has had sex with others quickly....the mess of it all is on you for saying yes.

    • @FreshGreenMoss
      @FreshGreenMoss 10 місяців тому

      Poor Bob. I really can't stand women.

    • @BunyipDude
      @BunyipDude 10 місяців тому +34

      The problem with what you're saying is that nowadays, most Gen Z girls (the current generation of 20-something women) are about as ran-through as the Millennial women who are now in their 30s. By the time that they're in their early-20s, they are more likely to have double or even triple-digit body count, slept with partners of both sexes, etc. when compared to women of previous generations. (And there is a LOT of data to back what I am saying.) They also just don't tend to have the same values as Millennial women or older generations: Most of them are woke, most of them do not see marriage to anyone besides a perfect guy as desirable, and many of them have severe mental health issues brought on by a combination of their seggsual baggage and social media addiction. When I was single, I dated two Zoomer girls - both of them had serious personality issues that led me to part ways with them within a few months. I'm now married to someone closer to my age who isn't perfect, but doesn't have nearly as many red flags as the Zoomers that I was with.

    • @mrsherwood2599
      @mrsherwood2599 10 місяців тому

      Lol when I was last chosen as the "basic Bob" her poor little world was rocked in bed. She was so, so, so confused that the sex was beyond anything she had experienced from her disinterested Chads. She hardly managed to crawl away from her perceived Beta Bob.

    • @jrconway3
      @jrconway3 10 місяців тому +13

      I mean, he had another video as well where he addressed the wall. You keep seeing women saying "the wall" doesn't exist and "I found a Guy over 30 you're just crazy", but these arguments completely miss the point.
      The wall doesn't mean its impossible to get a man. It just means you greatly drop off the sexual dating market at that point and maybe now have too high of standards going forward.

  • @gailthompson9005
    @gailthompson9005 7 місяців тому +1

    I have been binge watching your videos. You are articulate and your observations make sense because your target audience is under the age of 50.
    However, it’s worth mentioning that men in their late 50’s and ‘s 60 and beyond frequently have ED issues, and women are no longer interested in them either-unless they are uber wealthy and the women can take young lovers on the side.
    Religion still plays an important role for some. These people embrace monogamy and commitment; they raise a family are active in their community; they grow old together. They aren’t usually the ones you find in a nursing home.
    Once again it’s about options. Middle and lower class people have limited resources, unlike the wealthy.
    To each his own. We all grow older, but our desire for a loving companion remains the same.

  • @АнастасияМуллина-х8о
    @АнастасияМуллина-х8о 10 місяців тому

    Doc, the previews are beautiful