Hello Courtney: I think most men need encouragement right now. Dating is not hard; it's a living nightmare. Also, for some reason, all the attractive women I ask out seem to be taken (either lie about it or are actually in a relationships). Im 37 and never had a girlfriend, which isnt by choice. So, tell me why I shouldn't give up when so many women are mean or taken?
Courtney, I'm 29 about to be 30. I feel in my early 20's it was easier for me to get dates or one night stands compared to now. I only had 2 girlfriends in the past 3 years and I keep running into dating the same lying, cheating, disrespectful partners. After listening to Andrew Tate, F&F and whatever I'm just focusing on becoming a man of value.
@courtneyRyan can you make a video younger women vs older man? What would be expected and perspectives in life? What challenges, and what will work out or not?
The truth about dating as you get older: (From a 39 year old male) - You learn to spot red flags before they arise. - You avoid 98% of modern women who you discover are a complete waste of time. - You remain single for longer and take your time. - You realise peace of mind is more valuable than a pretty face and unnecessary drama. - You spend more time on things that give you a positive return.
I'm a 43 year old man, never married, no kids, the last time I had a gf was in 2008. I like my privacy and spare time. I met some unworthy american women who in my point of view were candidates BUT I later found out that I dodged those bullets like Neo did from the Matrix. One of them reported me as a 'creeper' to the HR behind my back even though she accepted my phone number that I gave her on a piece paper while she said 'thank you' to me with a smile. Good thing she rejected me because I would hate to have a gf/wife who is a manipulator like her.
I'm 2 years younger than you and this is a great summary. I can spot a red flag just by talking to the checkout girl. People really do behave in patterns, it's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't have life experience yet.
As an older single guy, the thing that worries the most is being settled for. I never got much female attention when I was younger so I'd be especially cautious if a woman showed interested in me now. I'd wonder if she was truly interested or if she's desperate out of fear that she's running out of time. If I found out she was settling, I'd break it off immediately. I may not have had much success with women but at least I respect myself not to be a woman's last resort.
This goes triple for me. I've had women brag that they've gone 6 months without sex like that's a long time. Makes me think about how easy it was for them and how much they got speared by all the bigger fellas for her to think that 6 months is a long time. They clearly have not dated the types of guys that they categorize as the "backup plan" since they do not even know the fundamentals of how our lives have been up to this point. And they expect us to be a reliable bill payer for a women that did not consider us good enough for their earlier/fun years. Many guys that were similar to me before they got married have told me that their wife withholds sex in order to get what she wants even though she slept around 20-50 times as much as him before they got married.
@@zachraynor7910Yep. Divorce is the best thing that ever happens to these types of guys. They just don't know it. As their homies, we gotta drop hints sometimes.
Yup, this. When women get to their early 30's and haven't been able to lock down a man that they're attracted to, often because they still want the family/domestic life, they'll marry and have children with a guy they don't really like that much. The problem is that frequently the guy didn't know that he was the one she settled for, and it will create all kinds of negative consequences throughout the marriage. TL;DR: Once your a guy who hits his 30's, now you have to sus out these women. That's also one reason that younger women are more attractive, since if they're interested in you it's probably genuine.
@@coopclausonSo true. Older women are hyper vigilant about men dating younger even when its men that are not their type that they never had any interest in. They are hyper threatened by younger women and foreign women. That is evidence that those two demographics are the way forward for men that were treated like second class citizens by women.
As you get older, you can spot the red flags really fast. You also start to realize that peace is priceless compared to just a pretty face and drama. You also avoid all these delusional modern women who are no good for you.
Red flags? hahaha like at week 2 when I was just sitting on the bed and out of nowhere, NOWHERE!! she yells" god you're such a narcissist" hahahaha. ok
I am 36, dating isn't tougher as you age, but MEETING PEOPLE is. The silver lining though, is the wisdom that comes with age and being able to spot red flags and toxic behaviors of others.
Consider taking up social dancing, salsa, batchata, tango, or any couple dancing in your area. Usually there is a continuous supply of young women who want to try it, and not enough men. SO every night I go out dancing I speed date about 15 women. I am an average guy and I have met all of the women I have been involved with over the last 25 years that way and had pretty good success. Mind you - you also have to have your own fitness, grooming, money and verbal game on point. You have to be datable from the female perspective. Today I am 53 and have a 30 year old girlfriend.
Important things: 1. Negative things when we get older: 1:58 First Thing - Increased Responsibilities; 2:28 Second Thing - Established Lifestyle; 2:50 Third Thing - Emotional Baggage; 3:22 Fourth Thing - Limited Social Circles; 4:05 - I totally agree with that advice (so true about meeting women in real life); 4:27 Fifth Thing - Different Priorities; 4:50 Sixth Thing - Biological Clock / Fertility Concern; 5:27 Seventh Thing - Less Options. 2. Positive things when we get older: 5:53 First Thing - Self Awareness; 6:35 Second Thing - Emotional Maturity; 6:58 Third Thing - Established Life / Career; 7:41 Fourth Thing - Shared Interests / Experiences; 8:04 - I can agree with that Courtney (hobby can also be a great way to meet someone in the first place); 8:23 Fifth Thing - The Statistics; and 9:47 to summarize all the told here. I think that limited social circles can also been seen in younger ages as well. It doesn't have to be necessary seen in older ages. Sometimes some young people reject some other people just to either make a laugh at them, or maybe to humiliate someone so he can be considered as a hotshot, which is bad (but that can be other topic that we can discuss about it). Of course, honor exceptions to those who are behaving good. I think that on sixth thing, and also partly the first thing, one thing goes there as well. And that is Taking Care Of Your Health (physically and psychologically I think). Less options sometimes we had even when we were in younger ages (deciding what do to, which faculty to go, etc.) As for priorities we have to just somehow organize as well (it's not an easy task, and I know that some of you will attack for saying this, but it is true). The statistics will say many things, but how true are they, that is one real question to be asked. They don't mean anything these statistics, cause it's hard to follow them, and to keep it up with them. So, don't rely on them, cause reality is much different, and it can be changed. Among the positive sides of the mentioned things I might add things such as these: Sixth Thing - You Are Making Selections With Who Will You Spend Your Time (but that can sometimes be also in younger ages as well); Seventh Thing - You Can Take Care Of Yourself, Family, And The Loved Ones as well. Thank you very much for this support Courtney. It means a lot. Sometimes I just wish that someone could of tell us these things a bit earlier. But better ever, then never.
If you can't handle statistics and data - which are categorically real you are at a big disadvantage because you do not understand them or how to interpret them. Now you are basing your decision making on vodo going into fake teretory. Your decisions will be erroroneous and you will have to live in ignorance with the consequences. I pity you.
I am 48 y/o single ( no kids ), the bellow are the things I see as a semi fit, strong average looking bald person: - It is possible to find intimacy ( with people who are not suitable for serious relationships ) - The older I get the harder I can tolerate others BS ( I guess that applies for the others towards me too ) - Your serious dating poor is limited in numbers and quality - The dating pool has more problematic people Lastly and more important for me is that - Solitude is intoxicating especially if you lead a good life with financial stability
40+ man: in that 1% or less of men in my demo: Agree:"It is possible to find intimacy ( with people who are not suitable for serious relationships )" Comment: If you are in shape, attractive, can keep your mouth shut and play along, you can have any type of physical intimacy your lower extremity desires without much effort. Agree: "The dating pool has more problematic people" Comment: And you have to ask yourself , which problems are "tolerable".
Absolutely. Solitude is intoxicating for this introverted 53 y.o. I am beyond fortunate to be long married to a great woman who gives me as much solitude as I require. Having a big house helps for sure lol. Solitude combined intimacy most nights, just incredible. Intimacy is far more than just sex. However, remaining single is way, way better than being stuck having to deal with some woman laden with decades of emotional baggage and trauma, and settling. Women with many Exes that they will think about for the rest of their lives. That sounds like a waking nightmare. I encourage men of means to look overseas for a quality woman with *healthy* family and peer pressures. My wife is from SE Asia although I met her here in college. 100% quality.
At 35 things are somewhat improving for me. People start respecting men more as they get older especially if you’ve taken care of yourself and improved your looks or career. It’s interesting because I’ve ran into women that rejected me 5-12 years ago. Their looks are declining but now they start being more respectful. Younger women start coming on to you. With age also comes experience in all areas. The biggest improvement for me was self confidence, learning what to tolerate from other ppl, and what to react to.
some of the best sex right there! they usually will do " anything" in order to try to " lock you down". just wrap up and/ or have her swallow , then off you go! oddly " satisfying".
What's really fascinating is how women just can't acknowledge the basic biological fact that they become less desirable the older they get, leaving aside social factors that also make them less desirable: having another man's kid, emotional baggage from failed relationships, feminist brainwashing, demanding a man be a 9-10 when she's a 3-4, etc. Truly bizarre refusal to admit basic truths.
What the modern, western woman also doesn't understand is it's her attitude and expectations that make her unattractive. I'm 52 and there are plenty of beautiful women in their late 30's and 40's, but their attitude ruins everything.
I'm going to be turning 40 in a few weeks and I'm on a journey of self improvement, but I'm not stepping back into the dating world. The last time I did, my mental health took a brutal beating that put me on this journey in the first place
Avoid even using the word "dating." Dating is like going to high school and college - it is a young person's game. We are completely different people by thirty, never to return. I do not have a word for what it is, but seeking a mate past thirty is not "dating." Leave that BS to the young.
As an older adult male, having to deal with the numerous delusional women who have convinced themselves that they are God's gift to mankind is quite bothersome.
I know what you mean friend, I went to a 40 Year HS reunion, There was a stark difference between most of the men & women. All the women looked so much older. It made me want to leave early to get back around much younger women. Yes, The Wall is undefeated.
It the sense of entitlement that gets me. Especially women on dating apps. I have dated few I met on apps and they were great, but most women I date are ones I met for the first time in real life at a party or event. I have several core values that are deal breakers if a woman does not align with me. But I am pretty flexible on other stuff. What always blows me away is how so many women I have come across on apps have like 20 criteria that a man must meet in order to have the privilege of dating them. Which is hilarious on multiple levels. I have actually asked a few of them "A: What makes you think that if a man like that exists, that he is single?; and, B: What makes you think that if he is single he is going to choose to date YOU?" Never got a good answer to that....
4 harsh truths about dating no matter the age (specifically for men): 1. If you don’t have money, DONT date. If you can barely afford to live on your own and make ends meet, what makes you think you can satisfy a potential S/O. A lot of women in todays dating are materialistic (they are all about the money and that’ll be my next point). 2. If you have money, make sure you ain’t dating a “gold digger” (basically using you for your wealth) 3. Make sure they are not “settling” for you meaning: they’re not truly interested in you and you are their last resort because they’re desperate. 4. If they have a high body count (if you are weary about that), WALK AWAY. The more bodies they have, the less compatible they are because there’s little to no connection they can make with a potential partner.
@@db4419This is easy. Are they listening to what you say? Are they interested in your life? Do they initiate physical contact? Do they show you off to their friends and family? Do they hold your hand in public?
Online dating just flat sucks! I once arranged a meet up with a woman that was very attractive, a nicely done profile, and seemed genuinely excited to meet me. I kid you not, she showed up wearing Hello Kitty sleeping pants, a bubble coat, and tennis shoes with velcro (undone). She also looked like she hadn't showered in a week! As she approached me, I just started chuckling to myself, tossed a twenty on the bar for the beer I purchased, and smiled at the pretty little bartender and said, "this should cover my beer, the rest is for you," and walked out... 😂
good for you, I had a few surprises like that yrs ago when I dated in my 30s, no thanks I am out, quit at 46 now 67 and the dating pool was toxic waste dump after 40
@michaelsix9684 ... I'm 62 now. I haven't so much as kissed a woman in almost four years. I'm good with it. I'd rather be single than put myself through crap like that again... I'm at the, "if it happens, it happens" stage of life I guess..
Omg you're not the only one! I have had tinder dates and some of them have been awful, some of them doesn't even happen because the guys cancel. For example last time the guy seemed enthusiastic about the date, we set a time and as I was ready to go out the door I checked my phone one last time and he canceled because he had just ended a long term relationship and he felt he was rushing (I mean he spared me but don't make a date in the first place). Mind you, I'm a 31 yo woman, but appear much younger, consider my self pretty and have a career and hobbies, so it seems it happens to everyone these days
I know that I mentioned in a previous video that I was a taking a temporary break from dating to prioritize a few personal goals, but I am glad this video was finally made. I sometimes worry what challenges I will face when I choose to enter the dating scene again, but I am glad you listed the positives, Courtney.
As I get older, my tolerance for games and bullshit gets lower. Thankfully, after bad dating experiences, I believe I’ve now found the one. Your videos have been great!
The main issues with dating, as you get older, is that most women and men have bad habits, are stuck in those habits, are very particular and picky, having more responsibilities, having your career, having your lifestyle, wanting your independence, etc. As a 44 year old, I don't have a problem finding women in their 20s, 30s or 40s to date online or in person! The issues are what I mentioned above on this comment! I think it's harder for older women in their 40s and 50s to find a man for many reasons!
I've heard that many older women in their 40s and 50s are actually quite active on dating apps... with, wait for it, young men in their 20s! LOL! I guess all pride is out the window. They get zero attention from anyone except a young, inexperienced guy who is desperate and can't get any action otherwise. Someone who would f anything. It's sad, but deserved given their past.
@@mesalouis8976 Not all men age poorly. Especially the guys long married and happy. Anyway, if women want to date men young enough to be their sons, well then they shouldn't complain about men dating younger too. (not that I would)
@@ronh1850 It doesn’t matter if some men don’t age poorly or not, younger men look better. Period. As long as both parties are of legal age I don’t see the problem.
I hated my peers in high school. I never had the social circle to be a dating magnet. I was never good looking enough to be popular. While life is lonely, at least I have peace. I'm probably going to be single my entire life. At least life eventually comes to an end.
I'm finding it mostly the same, I fucking hated school for the most part, especially since it seemed the older I got the worse my peers became. I was one of those marginalized nerdy guys who got picked on even by my team mates on the sports teams I played on. By now I'm 29 and I still remain a nerd except I've grown into my attractiveness and get hit on by a lot of girls int their late teens even, sometimes younger but I always avoid that whole mess. It just takes a bit of self-improving, getting out of one's comfort zone, and most importantly moving on from the past. That's the hardest part honestly is realizing your worth as a man.
I’m with ya there! For me, high school for the most part was depressing. Didn’t belong to ANY social circle so I was always alone. I was very shy and I wasn’t really good looking either, I wore the thick glasses and honestly didn’t take care of my personal hygiene. Today, I’m still a bit on the shy side but I think I have improved overall.
The older we get, the more stubborn and set in our ways we get for sure. We also become more jaded and cynical and that makes it harder to believe in being with a person that's worth our time because we've probably had a terrible dating experience overall. As someone nearing 30, I've started to see these things in myself and I'm doing my best to course correct to avoid being that bitter older guy.
That doesn't have to be true. The older I got the better my relationships got because I learned from my past. People need to learn from their mistakes and recognize better people for them.
Here is the thing that YOU CAN change... and that's your attitude of gratitude. I'm 52 and I stopped dating 8 years ago and to be honest I'm very happy. You chose to be stubborn. You chose to be jaded. You chose to be cynical. You can't always control what happens to you. What you can change is how you respond to what happened to you. Make lemons out of lemonade. Every day you wake up and you make choices. You are the author of your own story so instead of being the victim or the bad guy... be the hero. Happiness isn't a hard option. :)
@@trentreffner5699 I would argue many people would like to combat with you on several things they have encountered in the past or present.. Everyone of us has most likely already endured some close family member's death, serious or worse, near death experience, lack of financial success, emotional heartbreak, depression, lack of motivation etc.. just because you are struggling in the dating market doesn't mean it's the end all be all.. ijs.. have some faith that things will get better with time and realize that there are still things that need to be worked on.
Courtney, I am older gentleman and been divorced for over 10 years. The dating realm has been harsh. And I am an exception. I weight training six days a week, fully in shape. I’ve worked on myself, healing, growing spiritual growth for the last 25 years I have found a lot of women who aren’t healed, have guards up to high, want a relationship, but are afraid I finally found a relationship that works for me. I would meet women online, at concerts, through friends, but I finally found a woman who I truly love after many years of dating. Some of the pros are, my confidence, my time to work out extensively, knowing what I do want knowing what I don’t want. My ability to communicate effectively. The woman I am dating is a Gem. I could not see my life without her now, but it took many women to find the one I’m content. We both feel. We are blessed to find one another. So basically, I feel that there is pros and cons regardless 20s 30s 40s and 50s. I it can be difficult, but I never lost hope in finding a lifelong partner. Never lose faith for those who feel it’s difficult.😊❤
I'm still binge watching, Courtney (blame the YT algorithm - and the fact that you make great videos! Good morning, btw). So, I am, by definition, what is considered an "older dater". I can't say that it's difficult for me, aside from the fact that my schedule is pretty hectic. This is the "increased responsibility" aspect, though my visiting parents to see that they're doing well, about once-twice a week is part of that. Established lifestyle? That's easy. I make time for whom I date. If you really want to date someone? You'll find time. Trust me on this, Court. I'm a medical director at our region's fastest growing independent hospitals on the west suburbs (that should narrow it down a tad). I also work for a government agency that deals with helping people, in times of need. That's a pretty full book, and I still fit in a healthy, positive dating life. In my case? I either date fellow medical professionals, or folks who are hard workers, because they understand the work lifestyle, and we manage to fit each other in said schedules. If I can do it? And they can do it? Anyone can do it. Emotional Baggage - I will speak as someone who used to hold onto PTSD as emotional baggage. I say used to, because I had to find peace in everything. For anyone? You can find your peace. And when you do? You can also peacefully find common ground. Think about "self fulfilling prophecy", and how it applies to your emotions, as well as the emotions of others. You can be a rock and an island, yet still flourish. And as I have found? Taking the good with the bad of any state of mind leads to a nice harmonious vibe. Women, I found, are attracted to weathered temperament. Especially if you find reason to be humored at everything, and are just thankful for the opportunity to interact (and grow) with one another. Limited social circles - I find that to be an advantage, actually. I used to be a socialite. The Georges knew me well, as did all of Cleveland's social scene. I walked away from it, when I realized the faux/pretentiousness only gave me headaches. I hate the plastique. I yearned to find "real" people. And I realized that meeting folks was as simple as just striking up conversation with people, when I walked up to them alone. Yes, even in Cleveland (where people aren't always as nice as Mayberry) is a place where I can meet folks, and practice talking one-on-one with others, and without them knowing my prefix, suffixes, titles, etc. I think, when you take off the scrubs, white coat, suits, etc., and you "dress down", you can strike conversation with just about anyone. Don't let age get in the way. Just go outside and strike up a chat during your lunch break. Yes, this actually CAN lead to dating, from time to time. ;-) Priorities - This is a legit concern. Especially if there is an age gap. Same with the "biological clock". For guys, there actually is a concern, as modalities and fertility remains a question, depending on how they take care of their health. Women, of course, have the delimitation biologically, as menopause eventually sets in. I'm pretty fortunate, as I seem to attract younger women moreso than women my age (I'm mid-40s). But the priorities aspect is where I think most dating makes or breaks. Aging physically? Work out, work your nutrition -- My dad is in his late 60s, and he looks like he's in his early 40s. Me? I'm in my mid-40s, and women say I look like I'm in my late 20s/early 30s. Think about that. Some of it is genetics. A lot of it is a great diet and exercise routine. Work out, and you're as young as you want to be, physically. Less Options -- It depends. Depending on how you live life, what choices you've made, how you carry yourself, etc. I imagine that if I were "Johnny The Grocery Cashier", as opposed to "Dr. John", that my options would be lesser. But at the same time? if I were "Mr. John, office suit", or "John The Plumber", that I would still do just as fine as "Dr. John", with most women. I also agree that being more "fleshed out" as a person (accomplishments, hobbies, and anything related to living life) brings attraction. Great video topic, as usual, Court! And to all of the older daters out there? Don't give up! You CAN have an amazing bachelor/date life, if you work at it. 🙂
Emotional baggage and being set in your ways are the biggest ones, due to being scorned from dating. Yet, so many turn to online dating which I can go all day ranting about... My biggest positives are being self aware, level-headed, emotionally mature, having (and growing) social status, and closing in to finishing my masters and begin my second career
Emotional baggage and being set in your ways gets even more as you begin your 30s. Instead of turning to social media and online dating platforms. For me it's taking a hobby like swimming and finishing my building operations credentials. Keeping busy as a single person is a big one as your mind is preoccupied.
@@jonathandsouza5604 great perspective. Appreciate the reply! I also enjoy the physical stuff, personally being trained, martial arts, etc. Many need to go touch grass!
Hi Courtney. You are so true on your points. I think a big part of it is becoming settled in your ways. That's particularly hard to change as a guy in his mid 50s
In my 20's, I didn't care about the caliber of women I engaged with. I had more tolerance for red flags. A lot didn't bother me. Guys liking Facebook/Instagram posts, having guy friends, etc. I just rolled with it because that's how everyone is. And you don't want to be seen as 'insecure' right? Wrong. In my 30's, if she needs that validation, she's leaving my life. No questions asked. I have no tolerance for that level of selfishness anymore. If I'm not going to clubs and drinking on weekends, either are you. My peace and well being comes before anyone. Just because someone says "I like you" isn't an open invitation into my life anymore. You need to follow set standards and boundaries, if you can't do that then you are leaving. That's why dating and engaging with women in my 30s is far different than 20s.
From a 37 year old experience (no kids): - Most younger ones want to date around and go to fancy restaurants and be noncommitting which can be fine if its just going out. - Older women are very picky on average and always try to fix or diagnose me as a project and not accept others as they are. Ironically its their life normally that is upside down. - Career women are a no-go. I don't understand when they tell me they want to keep their established career and have a family but keep their career as a priority. Their plant or cat is of higher importance to them. - Older woman tend to think highly of themselves in terms of a provider and prioritize what they want. Some just spend money like its water to keep up with the jones. I live a frugal but comfortable lifestyle and rental houses for passive income. Have to be on the same page as far as life style/money. - And lastly, older women on average have high emotional baggage. Higher with a single mother as well. I won't date anyone above 29-30 because I want to have kids and a family. I think at 36-37 the birth defect rate is unacceptable and most at that age tends to be not marriage material (or desperate).
Just met a beautiful woman at 37 who just had a child, it’s still possible in the thirties. Don’t limit yourself just in case a potential happens to be older.
@@theodore2311That's good advice but doesn't matter. I'm young looking and able to attract young women, but then they get all age prejudiced on me when they learn I'm not in my 20's. It's like they're obsessed with age, it's all they care about.
I don't think it's fair to say the birth defect rate at 36-37 is "unacceptable." I was the first of three kids and my mom had me at 33. That was in 1985. We all turned out fine, no health problems except some scoliosis in my sister that is really my dad's fault, since he has it.
Dating as I get older is way easier than before even as a single dad. I used to be really concerned and worried about having a child by myself but was denied only once because she just didn't want to date someone with a kid. Definitely more mature than before and even with tons of responsibilities and baggage have a pretty good time dating. More money does not hurt but that seems like less of an issue than it did when I was younger. The women I usually date are also much more mature and what a god send. We all have a past and can relate more because of it. I've watched your videos for over a year and they always make sense and I even take better care of myself partially because of it so thank you. Also don't particularly mind dating anymore just to have someone to hang out with without all the pressure of trying to be everything to someone I am happy to just be me and if someone likes it then plus one. Did recently get into a serious relationship and it's all the more better because of people like yourself. What a ride and scary and beautiful and painful but so worth it when with the person you want to be with. Guys don't take the red pill too seriously it's only a few women that act like that and leave them be. And girls when you find a good man that loves you and you connect keep that man. Every one else you'll figure it out. Watching videos like this is a good step in the right direction.
Good Sunday to everyone and to you, Courtney. I follow you UA-cam videos because of two reasons: 1) While I realize that the audience that you are targeting is in thier twenties and thirties, even at the age of 64, you still bring up go points that I have forgotten or got lazy on. 2)Getting a good laugh at some of the videos that you watch of people stating their high expectations and becoming frustrated not being able to find a good companion and sometimes giving up at the age of around 25. WOW! All I can say is enjoy your life, your interests and the people tgat you are around you. And lower your high expectations. It will get you only frustrated and dussapointed like quite a few of those TikTok videos. Life ain't worth it. A long comment follows...... I am 64. To all those out there think itvis tough at the age of your twenties or thirties, it does not get any easier. I had two ladies in my twenties that just got up and left. Did not even said goodbye. Not even sure if they are alive and happy now. Do not really care. Ended up in my thirties to early 40's enjoying life, concentrating on my career and traveling, going out on dates by not really considering a relationship. Not being a player. Just not caring. By my mid 40's I succeeded in establishing my career on being sought out and respected in my line of work and was able to travel by car most of the USA east of the Rocky Mountains. By then I though of looking for some lady to be with as a companion to enjoy being with each other and similar interests. I tried in multiple groups of the interests that I enjoyed. It never happened because or something that came up that took me away from that interest I was doing. It all changed 10 years ago when both Karen's got sick. And with no one else around to help them, I dropped everything. After they both past away (2014 & 2017), I was on my own. I started looking for someone again thru online dating sites. Four years on four dating sites five times and one online speed date netted me nothing but con artists and scammers and ladies that were not looking for someone like me. They were looking for MORE ( I was called a homebody because I would not travel outside the country [lack of funds] Now, at the age of 64, I am out learning Argentine Tango Dancing. I can do it, but only at the basic level. Thru the group I am meeting plenty of ladies who are friends, acquaintances and Tango Dance partners., and rarely get turned down when I ask them if they would like to dance with me. Once in a while they do. But that isxwhere it stops. None are interested in me other than chatting and dancing with me. While it is not ideal situation not being considered to go out on a date with me other dancing Tango ( I have tried. Besides, some are married or not into men), I am content on having many, many ladies around me, telling stories on what happened to them and enjoying each other at Tango events, and not getting down that they only look at me only as a friend and dance partner.
Too many things to say and a UA-cam comment space is not appropriate. I appreciate your content and the work you do to create a positive and proactive community, Courtney. Positive thoughts for your family and you.
I am 43 and single, but I am ok with it. Life threw me a few curve balls I didn't expect, health issues and financial struggling, when I was young, I was a IT guy, and then the crash or rather several tech bubbles hit, which affected the tech industry so I had to do what was necessary to survive, meaning in layman's terms, get my hands dirty, jobs most people in white collar, aka blue collar fields would not dare do out of pride. it taught me several valuable lessons. I realized those who have never had to work at the bottom, don't appreciate the basic necessities of life. A roof over your head. A job. (Any job at one point) A support system when times were tough. Realized what is, truly important in the bigger picture. I learned the important things at a younger age, so I am not shocked like most people who don't start thinking about them till they are older. If I am to be single forever, I am ok with that, because I don't need someone else to validate who I am. I know who and what I am made of. I would hope one day I would find those things, but I don't go looking for someone else to try and fill some void, because I grew up working blue collar farmers, so IT was a step up. But I am ok being alone, because I know, what I value, I appreciate other people and their opinions, but opinions are everywhere, I don't let people's opinion of me determine my worth, like many people do in the dating scene today. I see a generation who base their self worth off of their careers, status, social media, I learned long ago, watching person I loved go down hill, because when they took away his only love which was farming, I watched him loose all zest for life. I realized, you have to find your worth in something higher than your job or your profession, because when that gets stripped from you, be it age, retirement, nursing home, all you have left is your beliefs and your memories, I believe that there is more to life than just dating and work, find out what you believe in, be it God, or something else, there is more to life than dating. 🤔
well said . I agree. depending too much on the external for validation, etc., is not it. develop yourself, your trust in yourself/ higher power and do things you enjoy. anything external should just be icing. if you took away most people's external stuff in terms of validation, who are they really? do things people can't take away. things can be nice but it gets old pretty fast.
3:45 High school and college were hell for me. I’m autistic and was shunned. It only got better after I built a powerful, lucrative career. It was much easier meeting people via professional networking, where I was able to mask myself a little bit, learn how NTs interact, and try to mimic their behavior
Courtney, I'm 56 and been divorced for two years since my then wife of 21 years decided she "Wasn't happy". I'll be the best boyfriend in the world, but I'll never get married again. I would just find a woman who already hates me and buy her a house.
The vast majority of unattached women in the West sound dreadful. Please do some traveling overseas before swearing off all women. I met my wife 30 years ago in college. She's from SE Asia and to this day I'm so grateful that I listened to my gut that she was the one. Pure quality, as is her entire family. A sharp contrast from my two serious GFs before her who are now bitter and single. I can't thank them enough for dumping me (both for a hot summer lol), all those years ago.
I am 54. I almost rushed into marriage back in the 2000s to early 2010s but am glad I did not. I was in Florida and met women from FSU. I was still in my 30s and often played rec center basketball as an older graduate student who also worked. At the time, it was relatively easy to meet someone at the campus gym. A lot of guys did that and quickly got engaged, married, then divorced. I believe the great recession of the the late 2000s or the pandemic and its stress factors would have ruined any marriage I had entered from that stage of life in Florida. I am glad I avoided marriage. Now, I am just working a full time job. I also returned back to get a PhD and am about half way through. I don't care about marriage right now. Someday when I grow up maybe I'll do it - lol.
@@manuelsteele7755 I’m 53 & just went back to school too mate, it’s so difficult, learning to learn again after 30 plus years, but gee it’s worth it to get those top-of-the class results in assessments! Well done with going for your PHD man, I hope to be doing the same thing in a few years time!👍👌💪
Thank you, Courtney. I'm 32 years old and have been beating my head against the wall for still being single. I've been expanding my social circle to get to know new people, I believe I'll solve this issue of mine soon.
Turning 30 this year, never been kissed, never had a girlfriend. The dating pool at my church is non existent. I actually convinced my Pastor to have a multi-church event for single people. I can't afford to be pessimistic about it anymore, it's draining, believing there is nobody left is a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy.
@@johndoe-pe9dy This is exactly why at 44 I stopped. At 52, not that I have a lot, but I'm not "sharing" it with someone who only sees me as a means to an end.
As a 49 year old male, MY problems are the limited social circles, less options and, to a lesser extent, not being able to father children. I really would like to have a son or daughter but it’s getting tough when you are getting older. As far as social circles are concerned, most of the people I’m normally around are fifteen to twenty years younger than me. And those that are in my age range are long married with a family. Lately, I’ve been seeing a few people I went to high school and college with and they have two or three kids. I admit, seeing them does get me down because I’ve wondered if I’ll ever have a family.
You claim that you are not able to father children, but many men older than 49 can father children. Therefore, is there some other issue, medical or otherwise, that causes you to be unable to father children?
It’s not that I can’t father children because medical issues and I know men in their sixties and seventies becoming fathers. It’s a matter of finding a woman. @@HighpointerGeocacher
I am learning to date again as I am in my 60s now. It’s definitely different than when I was younger. But I’m learning to start over and look for a godly wife in the process. Thank you for your videos.They have helped so much and you’re definitely spot on about your advice.
57m with successful business, beautiful home and grown kids. Dont want to die alone but finding someone who is even happiness neutral (doesnt make my life better or worse) is almost impossible…granted it would be tough making it better now. I tend to pull the ripcord pretty fast at the first red flag. Football seasons are amazing nowadays!
But think about all the BS and drama you'll put up with just to not die alone. I'm 52 and I'd rather live in peace and die alone... then be nagged until I die.
38 yo men here, it doesn't get any easier with age/time. Expectations are getting higher faster than a man can improve, it just wears a man down. To add to the challenge, I live in rural area (and won't change that) so the dating pool is very limited and mostly masculine.
Did you ever see that funny Tik Tok of two guys planning on getting married and living together. Getting a boat, getting a lake cabin, having two master bedrooms, dating whoever they want for recreational fun, etc etc. By the end of the skit, I swear the both of them thought it was a better option than finding a female partner 😂.
@@sasesinghan3543 Didn't watched the mentioned video, I just don't watch Tik Tok... and I wouldn't date for recreational fun (yes I'm that old school!)
@@manic6030 well you've put yourself in a situation where the only thing available is dick, so it could be a good time for you to expand your horizons. Also, sexuality doesn't belong to any one particular period in time.
This video is spot on. 52 in a college /government town...it's a major challenge. Also the fact that I've never been married or had kids impacts. Distance also seems to be an issue. I don't mind road trips, but have gotten shot down a lot lately on line due to the fact that I'm like 40 minutes away.
Also 52 bro, I am into fitness and have a high income. I am a distance inline skater and find women into that. They are usually much younger though :lol:. The question is if they are worth taking to the finish line (e.g. marriage).
@@alb12345672 am just now learning inlines. Much better with quads. Re taking to the finish line...looking at the marriage history of the women I've dated over the past two years. It's not even an issue. They have all been married 3-5 times. That's a hard pass for me. Hell they aren't going to get anything out of it anyway. Everything I have is going to my brother.
Dating is always difficult for unfit, or poor, or un-groomed, or lazy, or uninteligent men. If - this is you - sort it out dude. Be the best you can be. Here is my own special tactic - couple dancing has a constant supply of young women. As a 53 year old I have a 30 year old girlfriend because of it.
I have found that as I get older dating women It seems that they now realize that they wasted their prime years to secure a husband. And most have made not only relationship mistakes by dating exciting Bad Boys instead of boring Good Guys, they have also made many financial mistakes. They are tired of working hard at a career and being independent, and are now desperate to have it easy and will settle for a Good Guy to bail them out. I call it the Feminist Mid-Life Crisis.
the media lied to them, their teachers lied to them. Their parents never told them the truth about their fertility and youthful value. It's pretty serious and many of these women will end up lonely and depressed when all they had to do was pick a guy to get pregnant by in their 20s.
Live your life and just do your thing and the women that really want a piece of you will come and get it. It’s rare but doing your thing and letting them come after you is so much easier than stressing yourself out over dating and raising attraction and just all the crap that goes into dating. Put yourself in public regularly and have things going for yourself eventually a woman will come after you. Experience has shown me if they want you bad enough and find you attractive enough they will come after you and it will be stupid obvious.
You may have some women chasing you of course but really are you attracted to them? In my case, I have had some women interested but I was not fully into them….
@@hump1953 sometimes that is part of the equation. Other times it couldn’t have worked out better! And even also sometimes I would have to take a long step back and make some compromises. Maybe she didn’t “look” exactly like someone I thought I’d be attracted to but sometimes you gotta try some variety. I will say this also, not ever woman that’s ever chased after me was worth it either. I will say out of every woman that pursued after me only 1 was relationship type material.
As men get older, dating gets harder when you lack the level of money and home ownership that others fully expect you to have. Let's not forget that because that is always a Thing. Always.
So if you're a high school English teacher who rents a house you can't have a romantic relationship with someone? You have to be the chairman of Microsoft? If that's the case then something is seriously wrong with this society?
I am a 52 year old guy who is dating. Pros: I am much more socially and emotionally mature than when I was younger. I have a successful career, own my own house, have more than enough money to live comfortably and do fun things whenever I like. That makes me more attractive to women than a younger man who doesn't have as much life experience and success. Cons: The dating pool is different and a lot smaller than when you're in your 20's or 30's. Most people in their 20's are still discovering what they want in life and are not yet in long-term relationships and are more open to meeting a new partner. There are beautiful and sexy women in their 40's, but most of them are in a relationship. Also, most of them already have kids.
Truth about dating as you get older? There's no such things as having dates. Everyone too picky and scarred to give someone a chance. I'm 43 and I'm giving up, and it doesn't help I am a normal, average guy, as it is expected that by my age I already have amassed enormous wealth, status and charisma.
Yes, sadly, as well as three or more luxury homes, a private jet, and an infinite amount of time to scrape and bow to every delusional woman who thinks she is a 10+ when she's really a 2, 3, or maybe 4.
I have dated more in my 40s than I did in my 20s. I have standards, but I’m not picky. I can’t tell from one date if a person has the standards I’m looking for. After my divorce, I knew I wanted to date. I found a ton of dating ideas on Pinterest. I typed them into a list. I searched Yelp for restaurants in my city that I want to try. I typed those up, too. I bought outfits, so I’d have something to wear. I would take myself on dates. I can’t meet anyone sitting in my living room. One night, I met a man. We dated for a year. When we tried to go to his favorite restaurant, it was closed. I already had a different restaurant in mind. Remember, I had a list. When he came to me concerned that he couldn’t afford to wine and dine me, I printed out my list of dating ideas. I even separated it into different price points. What’s cheap? Ice cream. Picnics. Walks in the park. Game nights. Red Box movies. I can’t change your mind if you’ve give up, but I can tell you from experience that dating can be fun.
@Stanthemilkman, it's funny how everyone says "don't be average". Majority of people will be average because that's how average is defined. Why being average is so looked down upon? Why one have to be some top percent to be treated without contempt?
Biggest issues IMO are the ossification of bad habits in your older dates and their kids. Bad habits have "worked" for them for decades in their mind and people really never change. Kids in the house = just be friends with benefits. Step-parenting is not for the faint of heart. Life is too short. There are very few scenarios where the step does not feel disrespected, ignored, or taken for granted. Sometimes all at the same time. Adult kids...are they really out on their own or will you be bankrolling their college/apartment/lifestyle. It is a tough one.
4:05 that is true, you can use online dating for hookups to get practice with intimacy you can use online dating to practice flirting with new girls or mastering how to keep a girl's attention that you just met, but if you really want something of substance that will last a long time, you have to meet this woman in person. There has to be initial signs of chemistry and multiple chances to test the vibe overtime. You can't do this over the phone
I’m 70 years old, single, never married… took care of myself physically, had a good career, own nice house and car, fat brokerage account and take four international trips a year… women my age just not worth the squeeze…. I cast a wider net going abroad for younger fit, fun, feminine women…
That just sounds really predatory, just enjoying younger women from other countries and never actually committing? I guess you're traveling to some less well-off countries like Asia and South America
This is the wonderful, beautiful reward we men get as we age. I am in my 60s but I live in Latin America. The women here are far superior to what I left in America. My options here are so much better and as a result I can date younger women.
When she said "older" was 30.... I guessed older for her meant 40 at least, but, i guess to people in their 20's anyone past 30 is old.. As a 55 year old single average guy, i've pretty much given up. The points you made are solid and smart for any age range and I fall into a few of those and this has given me things to think about. Thank You!
Dating is always difficult for unfit, or poor, or un-groomed, or lazy, or uninteligent men. If - this is you - sort it out dude. Be the best you can be. Here is my own special tactic - couple dancing has a constant supply of young women. As a 53 year old I have a 30 year old girlfriend because of it.
Hey Courtney. I do not usually watch these types of videos,but I came across one of yours the other day and have been unable to stop watching them since. As a young single man I feel the topics you talk about have a lot of relevance in my life and are very helpful to me. I do not consider dating to be an important aspect of my life I’ve been on a date with a girl before but it didn’t end up working out for me. I would like to meet a nice girl but it’s hard for me because i’m a little apprehensive about approaching people especially women in public and I work with mostly old people at my job which doesn’t help either (i’m 22). I do not have a college education so I have nowhere for me to really go and meet new people outside of my job. I know that’s a lot to digest what I really just wanted to say is I love your videos and the topics you talk about really write home for me and you have made a subscriber out of me for sure.
I’ve been out of the dating market for 13 years since I met my ex wife. I was 21 back then and now I’m 34 so it has changed a lot, plus I’m older now. I have noticed women have more requirements and I might have to be a step dad if I date a woman my age.
Maybe its the area you live in. 34 is still considered young in the more metropolitan populated areas. Especially if you date a more educated woman. There’s plenty of women who went to college and therefore waited to have kids before establishing a career. Look for those types of women.
Courtney, about waiting to get married....I have a cousin that didn't get married for the first time til he was 40. He was in our Army full-time and moved around quite a bit (I think that had something to do with it) and he was stationed in Ireland at one point, met a woman from there, and they eventally got married and are still married to this day. Me personally, I'm 48 and never married and at this point.....I think that ship has sailed. What sucks is I'll never have a family or kids but at least, I don't have a divorce hanging over my head.
@@nobodysperfect06 - not sure, since this is a cousin of mine. As I said, he was in our Army full-time and moved around quite a bit which I think had something to do with him getting married a bit later.
Unfortunately it seems like many people do not have retirement funds. I frequently get asked if I am financially ready for retirement, which I am. But only for myself. That typically ends the date.
I would have ended the date first since they are looking for you to save them from despair. Ask them to get a refund on all of the cosmetic upgrades throughout the decades. BBLs, LiPo, Stupid blue/green hair colouring, 1 inch nails that are useless, and thousands spent on ridiculous tattoos that all could have been saved for retirement.
30yr old, ditched the dating apps after bad experiences, would love to meet a woman in person, but actually doing that… wow, these times we live in are altogether very odd when it comes to dating, fingers crossed things change and I can meet someone but I’m not holding out much hope, I’m in good physical shape, do well career wise and I believe I’m good company to be around but honestly, this is tough! Sending positivity to all in my situation! UK!
@@Stanthemilkman the weekend before last, it went quite well actually, had a good laugh, enjoyed each others company, but yeh, it’s not going to be the big relationship… not sure what the last time I approached a woman has to do with anything I’ve put in my original comment…
@jonnyb2020 it doesn't matter if it turns into a relationship or not. Just doing it is the goal, it grows you as a person. Try doing it more. Journey not destination.
@@Stanthemilkman appreciate the input, I’ve talked to and dated many women in my life, it’s more just the context of this moment in time, dating at the moment is nonsensical and it’s not something I’m particularly enjoying and I know lots of people that aren’t also, it’s an odd one but I agree, do it more and grow is good advice!
Dating is always difficult for unfit, or poor, or un-groomed, or lazy, or uninteligent men. If - this is you - sort it out dude. Be the best you can be. Here is my own special tactic - couple dancing has a constant supply of young women. As a 53 year old I have a 30 year old girlfriend because of it. Good Luck to you in the UK.
I'm tired of putting in maximum effort to then receive bare minimum, if that, in return. I'm not talking about the bedroom. I'm talking about just the first date, or even just getting to the first date. I'm 35. I cannot date my age. I've tried. If I end up finding someone, I'm confident she will be at least 10 years younger than me. Or she is extremely down to earth, humble, feminine, trustworthy, and loyal.
Why would you want to date a woman at the end of her reproductive life, with a emotional or children of other men baggage, and perhaps a body found of 10+ over a woman 10ths younger??? As a man, you must never date girls in your age bracket.
Im in my 50s tried a few dating apps couole of years ago , they suck. I literally have no desire to start dating but if it happens by chance then it happens . Im not searching anymore and theres a real peace to being alone , not telling anyone where you are going what you are doing . I love it
Everyone you meet has a past, and so do you. Don't focus on that. Focus on being a better person than what you were, and hopefully the one you meet will be doing the same thing.
@@ewoman3584I agree there is always baggage, the one huge difference is that most men spend their teens and twenties pretty much terminally single while for women it's usually one long dickhopping spree. So a totally different and much lesser form of baggage on the man's part.
@liver_damage Oh tons of 30+ men are single dads, divorced already, etc. Most men actually dont spend all that time single. Most men lose their virginity by 17. You just think its less baggage when its just different baggage.
@@ewoman3584 30% of men are completely sexless, not one time having sex in years. Most men 30+ are NOT single dads nor divorced. Keep making shit up, keep riding that CC, no one will come and save you old lady. we men are waking up and getting the 18 year old girls, much much better experience in every regard.
As you get older, dating doesn’t exist for me. My time is very important to me, and I have no time for nonsense……which is what dating is today. Happy Sunday ! 🌞😁
Try dating at 65. I admit I have some issues good and bad. Working on revising the bad. All my stuff is paid for my adult children are doing well. Have found most women are even more inflexible and set in their ways than I ever thought of. Just looking for someone I can get along with and be their best supporter and friend. I think there’s a difficult road ahead for me.
Not true at all. The odds of getting divorced are astronomically higher for jocks and pretty boys. But if you'll only settle for the most beautiful dream girl then yeah, better to stick with porn and your AI girl Plasticia.
25% of 40 yr olds in 2021 had never married. This is a high, but then in 1910, the number was 16%. The "never-married" declined bottoming out in 1980 (people born in 1940). Then rose again to return to normal in 2000 but kept going up. The 1950-1980 period that is often considered the "norm" was actually not. This is from a recent Pew Research report. They did find that "never-married" at 40 had only a 25% chance of having been married at 60. And if you are a realistic, responsible man, 40 is really your cut off for children as you'll be 60 before you get them to adulthood. Not to mention in your 50s your employment becomes tenuous as companies dump older workers.
Hi, I really appreciate how you highlight both cons and pros about this topic, interesting and objective. I always learn lots of things with your videos. Thank you so much. Take care
Dating for me, has been rough for the past 5-6 years. I’ve only gotten myself involved with females with emotional and traumatic baggage. I’ve tried to make it work but things just don’t work out. Too many headaches, baggage, stubbornness, and conflicting outlooks. I also have myself to blame for not working on myself enough and being watchful of red flags.
I talked to a bunch of 20 year old men when out the other day and they said already at 20 it’s harder to meet new women compared to high school. I feel fortunate after listening to this since I have some of the pros from both younger and older guys in my specific case, since I look very young but have good resources though I have only few cons from either case, a bit less freedom due to kids and not seeking exclusivity after experiencing that already all my life but I’m happy about my “cons.” You’re right it’s way harder online but it can also make you better for it. In person ends up feeling almost too easy in comparison but it also requires practice just progress is much quicker. You can get lucky online but there’s a lot more BS that way. Interesting marriage stats. I find women in their 30s feeling the pressure act the worst (similar to men in their mid-to-late 20s when pressured to succeed) but the ones that don’t feel that pressure or are younger (or in their 40s) usually act better.
Yeah it's very strange. I'm a top earner and in great physical shape in my late 30s and dateless. I am very selective but not shallow. Too many women living the drink, smoking, party life and I want no part of it. Good women is harder to find than good men.
I find more younger women willing to have a conversation with me. When I turned 38, it flipped from ladies my age or older willing to chit chat to younger ladies. Also, I've been told that it's how I carry myself. I don't know. Never was afraid to talk to anyone, and I'm never rude. No matter what is said or done to me. Miss. This is a great presentation for older people dating. Over all, at least for me is be positive, have confidence, be open to new experiences, never show being hurt from rejection, be yourself with honesty, and remember you're looking for companionship just like they are. It's ok to feel awkward, to be nervous. Bravery is over looking fear and reacting to attain your goal. I use fear as fuel. You have a soothing voice, Miss.
I'm in my late 30s now, and I would say that my dating experience has changed a lot from where it was in my 20s. I had to work a lot harder back then to attract women. Now, it seems I don't have to do much to have a least one woman in a social situation show interest. My issue is that my standards have changed dramatically, and the majority of the women I meet these days just don't meet those standards. The lack of social avenues to interact with them doesn't help either, but I'm working on that.
At 41 I have slowly come to realize that, though lonely, it has been better to be single. I've been divorced for about 3yrs, and I realize just how much I had focused my existence on the happiness of unreciprocating partners. It has been an uphill struggle to find initiative in realizing and pursuing what I want, but I have really blossomed in my art and hobbies (which previous relationships impeded). My attempts to date since divorce have only damaged my self esteem and lowered my faith in people. It has been a relief since I decided to stop trying and accepted it won't happen so I could move on. Lonely, sure, but the negatives of it are far outweighed by the negativity trying to date brought me.
In my experience with online dating in the west. I noticed there is a-lot of single mothers with unrealistic standards. Nobody wants to be a step father to these children especially if their father is still around.
Dating is always difficult for unfit, or poor, or un-groomed, or lazy, or uninteligent men. If - this is you - sort it out dude. Be the best you can be.
@@hughobrien4436 I don’t think you have many facts on your side. If this is your worldview okay, then you have blinders on to reality. Just in my experience alone and in using basic observation skills of my surroundings I know you’re dead wrong.
@@hughobrien4436 Dating is always difficult for judgmental people. All they see is what's wrong with the other person, which chases away that other person.
Never been on a date, late 30s this year (5'7 Asian). Saved a ton of money in not doing so, and dodged a lot of bullets there. Happy now, money, time, freedom, peace!
I can say as I get older, is that I know what I want in my life, I know what I enjoy and I know who I am. If I were to date again, the difficulty is meeting someone who is mature enough to know how to enjoy the journey with me instead of trying to “change or fix” my ways
I see age as a form of magnifier. The good and the bad habits you have acquired over the years become more prominent. If you've been social all your life, you'll probably have no trouble picking up women. If you'd been in relationships, then you are probably good at that by now, also. Other than that, I think older people are far more direct, and communicate what they want with hardly any filter. Older women also seem to be far less passive, and there is probably a reason for that.
young women are very passive, even if they like a guy they won't do much to initiate it. the way the laws are with harassment and women labelling guys 'creeps', its just not worth it to approach and initiate anymore though, these women don't understand that. A desirable guy isn't going to approach them anymore, it's a stalemate.
Great information/video,as a widower 1 positive & negative aspect is as a widower & 60 + years old there's certain expectations that you look for,trying to explain it to your potential partner is ruff & their judgement of you is uncharted territory,question arise like are you looking to replace your late wife or something new,which is tricky at best & you're unsure what you're looking for yourself
The truth about dating at any age is that its always a gamble. There is no guarantee that you'll find the type of person that you're looking for at any age. There is no guarantee that you'll find the "right person". There is no guarantee that you'll even have a career by the time that you reach your thirties. Even if you do make a career for yourself, everything comes at a price. You'll have to ask yourself if you're willing to pay it. Some aspects of life are beyond your control, and you just have to make the most of them.
When I divorced in 2005 I got many dates and relationships over the next ten years. In the past four years I have had no relationships and a few dates. The dating landscape certainly has changed BUT I have become much more selective with whom I share my resources such as time, effort, and money. I am not actively seeking a relationship for the first time in 18 years.
How to actually meet normal woman is the real problem and I think deserves its own video. -Dating apps are garbage. -Clubs, bars, parties are mostly filled with the bitchy/crazy/tiktok-brainwashed type of women we all know, since those places are heavy on hookup culture. -You can't create new social circles out of thin air. And having a passion doesn't necessarily mean you'll meet new people through it. Hell, I'm in college and draw a thick line between my female friends and potential partners, so what am I left with? I've been blessed with a nice face and respectable height, all my life women have led me to believe I'm attractive. But it's all meaningless if there are no women to set my sights on...
I'm well past "dating" age. After my wife of 2 years died from cancer, I just asked myself, "Why bother looking for someone else?" I'm just being completely truthful with myself. I'll never find anyone like my eternal love (Barb). I spend my time volunteering -- reading to kids and working with people with disabilities.
the truth applied to me is that, as I get older as a man, less and less people shame me for being single which is a good thing.. and even if they do, I don't give an F anymore.. if you are don't paying me and you are not paying my bills, I don't care about what you think.. and, as I pay my own bills and people I work with don't care about my personal life, I became free form all this BS
4:06 Absolutely true. The term “good on paper” is now “good on social media”. And just like in the days of paper, some of us are vastly better off IRL than on media.
For me, it has been all about the immense amount of drama that is already around. Maybe I perceive it easier after years of therapy and personal growth, but it's not easy to discover a drama free (or a low drama) woman.
@@kevinobrien3888 while the rate of creating drama is inclined to women, we should admit that there are a lot of men who also act in that way as well (if it werent the case, there wouldnt be all those codependant couples around). If you ask me it is more about self confidence, selfesteem. We the men who run from drama are usually the ones with therapy processes behind or healthier child lifes (but there are cases of trust and commitment issues as well). Bottomline, we all are capable of drama and we all should run from it.
I feel like online vs irl when it comes to dating really depends on the person. I was IRL all the way for years with absolutely no success. Most women at work were older, couldn't speak English well and were married, there were few single women at church and in my softball league. I decided to give Coffee Meets Bagel a chance and met plenty of great women. I only used it for about a year until I met my now wife.
But it should be for both partners. There is an imbalance of expectations. Don't ask men to lay all their cards on the table and show how they will take care of you before you decide whether that time and effort is worth reciprocating, and as soon as women are "not happy," just pack up and leave, taking whatever they can with them. We're wising up now on know it never will be enough. Social media, the internet, and the world opening up because of technology has made hypergamy a reality for many. Here's the funny thing I'm noticing in a great percentage of the male advocacy spaces...we don't strive on attention and validation, and many of us are okay on our own. Our core biology and purpose hasn't changed as much as what's been going on in female spaces over the last 50 years. It seems to me that women are in constant battles defining who they are, their gender and sex, societal roles, independence, traditional or boss babe? It's all a hot mess! And a lot of us men want nothing to do with it as it pertains to relationships.
As a 36 y/o single man I agree with all the other men here. Peace of mind is extremely valuable and we spot red flags way faster compared to when we were younger. We also know ourselves wayyy better, so we can really express precisely what we like or don't. Career wise, I'm completely stablished, good salary, nice appartment and most importantly... stable life. Emotional intelligence is our strong now and if you are a dude that has a lot of energy like me, then you're a very very fit because going to the gym is just amazing and you do it to keep loving yourself.
The risk of divorce is a very important factor. Men have more to lose. I lost my home, my daughter, and everything else and wasn't even married. You are correct, as well, about having better luck in our 30's. I am 36 and have had more sexual partners in my 30's so far than in all of my 20's. I have improved in many ways, gaining life experience, becoming more confident and approachable.
Positively agree to Courtney. My experience, being now slightly over 50. 1. go out and show yourself. Show interest in things and people. "dating apps" are an entirely useless waste of time, and in most cases, money. Marriage, any age, life advice : DON'T ever marry - unless you get a million dollar of not-to-be refunded (in case of divorce) funds along with the bride.
What my experiences have been? HA! What experiences? I am 31 turning 32 next month, have never been in a relationship, never dated, never been kissed, the whole nine yards. It has just been heartbreak and bad luck and according to the statistics, it looks like my marriage, which isn't going to happen anyway, will end in a divorce. Just tough to keep pressing on with dating when all I hear is no or something WAY worse.
There are considerable risks involved, but when I was 51 and recently divorced I found online and eventually married a 42 y.o. intelligent, creative, educated, career-oriented beauty from Eastern Europe - thus side-stepping a lot of the "modern woman" entitlement BS that was becoming increasingly a factor in dating. We've been together now for 17 years - so far, so good!
Thanks to Trade Coffee for sponsoring! Get a free bag of fresh coffee with any Trade subscription: drinktrade.com/courtney
the coffee link is not working... :(
Thats why I don't date anymore..
Hello Courtney: I think most men need encouragement right now. Dating is not hard; it's a living nightmare. Also, for some reason, all the attractive women I ask out seem to be taken (either lie about it or are actually in a relationships). Im 37 and never had a girlfriend, which isnt by choice. So, tell me why I shouldn't give up when so many women are mean or taken?
Courtney, I'm 29 about to be 30. I feel in my early 20's it was easier for me to get dates or one night stands compared to now. I only had 2 girlfriends in the past 3 years and I keep running into dating the same lying, cheating, disrespectful partners. After listening to Andrew Tate, F&F and whatever I'm just focusing on becoming a man of value.
@courtneyRyan can you make a video younger women vs older man? What would be expected and perspectives in life? What challenges, and what will work out or not?
The truth about dating as you get older:
(From a 39 year old male)
- You learn to spot red flags before they arise.
- You avoid 98% of modern women who you discover are a complete waste of time.
- You remain single for longer and take your time.
- You realise peace of mind is more valuable than a pretty face and unnecessary drama.
- You spend more time on things that give you a positive return.
- You give up dating completely and actually put the focus where it's been due all along - yourself.
All the above + you get questions like soooo what's wrong with you? Lmao...
I'm 52 and I'm not giving up my 23.5 hours of peace for a hopeful 30 minutes of a piece.
I'm chasing my hobbies.
I'm a 43 year old man, never married, no kids, the last time I had a gf was in 2008. I like my privacy and spare time. I met some unworthy american women who in my point of view were candidates BUT I later found out that I dodged those bullets like Neo did from the Matrix. One of them reported me as a 'creeper' to the HR behind my back even though she accepted my phone number that I gave her on a piece paper while she said 'thank you' to me with a smile. Good thing she rejected me because I would hate to have a gf/wife who is a manipulator like her.
I'm 2 years younger than you and this is a great summary.
I can spot a red flag just by talking to the checkout girl. People really do behave in patterns, it's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't have life experience yet.
As an older single guy, the thing that worries the most is being settled for. I never got much female attention when I was younger so I'd be especially cautious if a woman showed interested in me now. I'd wonder if she was truly interested or if she's desperate out of fear that she's running out of time. If I found out she was settling, I'd break it off immediately. I may not have had much success with women but at least I respect myself not to be a woman's last resort.
That's my fear as well
This goes triple for me. I've had women brag that they've gone 6 months without sex like that's a long time. Makes me think about how easy it was for them and how much they got speared by all the bigger fellas for her to think that 6 months is a long time. They clearly have not dated the types of guys that they categorize as the "backup plan" since they do not even know the fundamentals of how our lives have been up to this point. And they expect us to be a reliable bill payer for a women that did not consider us good enough for their earlier/fun years. Many guys that were similar to me before they got married have told me that their wife withholds sex in order to get what she wants even though she slept around 20-50 times as much as him before they got married.
@@zachraynor7910Yep. Divorce is the best thing that ever happens to these types of guys. They just don't know it. As their homies, we gotta drop hints sometimes.
Yup, this. When women get to their early 30's and haven't been able to lock down a man that they're attracted to, often because they still want the family/domestic life, they'll marry and have children with a guy they don't really like that much. The problem is that frequently the guy didn't know that he was the one she settled for, and it will create all kinds of negative consequences throughout the marriage.
TL;DR: Once your a guy who hits his 30's, now you have to sus out these women. That's also one reason that younger women are more attractive, since if they're interested in you it's probably genuine.
@@coopclausonSo true. Older women are hyper vigilant about men dating younger even when its men that are not their type that they never had any interest in. They are hyper threatened by younger women and foreign women. That is evidence that those two demographics are the way forward for men that were treated like second class citizens by women.
As you get older, you can spot the red flags really fast. You also start to realize that peace is priceless compared to just a pretty face and drama. You also avoid all these delusional modern women who are no good for you.
As a 43 year old man who hasn't had a gf for the last 15 years, I agree with you.
Red flags? hahaha like at week 2 when I was just sitting on the bed and out of nowhere, NOWHERE!! she yells" god you're such a narcissist" hahahaha. ok
Totally agree 👍
@@lukekoleas3378An adult male would never waste 2 weeks of his life with a woman like this. Not even 5 minutes! ;)
After 40, it's like playing the original Mario Brothers. You know where all the monsters and gold coins are, the hidden tunnels, etc. It's fun.
I am 36, dating isn't tougher as you age, but MEETING PEOPLE is. The silver lining though, is the wisdom that comes with age and being able to spot red flags and toxic behaviors of others.
Consider taking up social dancing, salsa, batchata, tango, or any couple dancing in your area. Usually there is a continuous supply of young women who want to try it, and not enough men. SO every night I go out dancing I speed date about 15 women. I am an average guy and I have met all of the women I have been involved with over the last 25 years that way and had pretty good success. Mind you - you also have to have your own fitness, grooming, money and verbal game on point. You have to be datable from the female perspective. Today I am 53 and have a 30 year old girlfriend.
Consider getting a passport.
Important things:
1. Negative things when we get older: 1:58 First Thing - Increased Responsibilities; 2:28 Second Thing - Established Lifestyle; 2:50 Third Thing - Emotional Baggage; 3:22 Fourth Thing - Limited Social Circles; 4:05 - I totally agree with that advice (so true about meeting women in real life); 4:27 Fifth Thing - Different Priorities; 4:50 Sixth Thing - Biological Clock / Fertility Concern; 5:27 Seventh Thing - Less Options.
2. Positive things when we get older: 5:53 First Thing - Self Awareness; 6:35 Second Thing - Emotional Maturity; 6:58 Third Thing - Established Life / Career; 7:41 Fourth Thing - Shared Interests / Experiences; 8:04 - I can agree with that Courtney (hobby can also be a great way to meet someone in the first place); 8:23 Fifth Thing - The Statistics; and 9:47 to summarize all the told here.
I think that limited social circles can also been seen in younger ages as well. It doesn't have to be necessary seen in older ages. Sometimes some young people reject some other people just to either make a laugh at them, or maybe to humiliate someone so he can be considered as a hotshot, which is bad (but that can be other topic that we can discuss about it). Of course, honor exceptions to those who are behaving good. I think that on sixth thing, and also partly the first thing, one thing goes there as well. And that is Taking Care Of Your Health (physically and psychologically I think).
Less options sometimes we had even when we were in younger ages (deciding what do to, which faculty to go, etc.)
As for priorities we have to just somehow organize as well (it's not an easy task, and I know that some of you will attack for saying this, but it is true).
The statistics will say many things, but how true are they, that is one real question to be asked. They don't mean anything these statistics, cause it's hard to follow them, and to keep it up with them. So, don't rely on them, cause reality is much different, and it can be changed.
Among the positive sides of the mentioned things I might add things such as these: Sixth Thing - You Are Making Selections With Who Will You Spend Your Time (but that can sometimes be also in younger ages as well); Seventh Thing - You Can Take Care Of Yourself, Family, And The Loved Ones as well.
Thank you very much for this support Courtney. It means a lot. Sometimes I just wish that someone could of tell us these things a bit earlier. But better ever, then never.
If you can't handle statistics and data - which are categorically real you are at a big disadvantage because you do not understand them or how to interpret them. Now you are basing your decision making on vodo going into fake teretory. Your decisions will be erroroneous and you will have to live in ignorance with the consequences. I pity you.
I am 48 y/o single ( no kids ), the bellow are the things I see as a semi fit, strong average looking bald person:
- It is possible to find intimacy ( with people who are not suitable for serious relationships )
- The older I get the harder I can tolerate others BS ( I guess that applies for the others towards me too )
- Your serious dating poor is limited in numbers and quality
- The dating pool has more problematic people
Lastly and more important for me is that
- Solitude is intoxicating especially if you lead a good life with financial stability
40+ man: in that 1% or less of men in my demo:
Agree:"It is possible to find intimacy ( with people who are not suitable for serious relationships )"
Comment: If you are in shape, attractive, can keep your mouth shut and play along, you can have any type of physical intimacy your lower extremity desires without much effort.
Agree: "The dating pool has more problematic people"
Comment: And you have to ask yourself , which problems are "tolerable".
Absolutely. Solitude is intoxicating for this introverted 53 y.o. I am beyond fortunate to be long married to a great woman who gives me as much solitude as I require. Having a big house helps for sure lol. Solitude combined intimacy most nights, just incredible. Intimacy is far more than just sex.
However, remaining single is way, way better than being stuck having to deal with some woman laden with decades of emotional baggage and trauma, and settling. Women with many Exes that they will think about for the rest of their lives. That sounds like a waking nightmare.
I encourage men of means to look overseas for a quality woman with *healthy* family and peer pressures. My wife is from SE Asia although I met her here in college. 100% quality.
@@ronh1850 Asia is also going down the sink in today's world, they are taking what is bad from the west.
Great point about the dating pool statistically having more problematic people. The good ones are in a solid marriage.
At 35 things are somewhat improving for me. People start respecting men more as they get older especially if you’ve taken care of yourself and improved your looks or career. It’s interesting because I’ve ran into women that rejected me 5-12 years ago. Their looks are declining but now they start being more respectful. Younger women start coming on to you. With age also comes experience in all areas. The biggest improvement for me was self confidence, learning what to tolerate from other ppl, and what to react to.
some of the best sex right there!
they usually will do " anything" in order to try to " lock you down".
just wrap up and/ or have her swallow , then off you go!
oddly " satisfying".
and before a single person sais anything about " manipulation"? no , it's called " leverage" and turnabout is fair play.
What's really fascinating is how women just can't acknowledge the basic biological fact that they become less desirable the older they get, leaving aside social factors that also make them less desirable: having another man's kid, emotional baggage from failed relationships, feminist brainwashing, demanding a man be a 9-10 when she's a 3-4, etc. Truly bizarre refusal to admit basic truths.
Men do it but not with dating. Example being that boxer who can't fight like he used to but keeps taking fights to prove himself. It's sad to see.
It's called delusion, and it comes from social programming and a lack of solid father figures.
And the government totally did plan any of this, 😉
What the modern, western woman also doesn't understand is it's her attitude and expectations that make her unattractive. I'm 52 and there are plenty of beautiful women in their late 30's and 40's, but their attitude ruins everything.
It is the attitude that will send me runnin. Lighten up ladies, nobody gets off this rock alive.
🌴🐈🐈🐈🌴🏴☠️
@@kevinobrien3888💯
I'm going to be turning 40 in a few weeks and I'm on a journey of self improvement, but I'm not stepping back into the dating world. The last time I did, my mental health took a brutal beating that put me on this journey in the first place
Avoid even using the word "dating." Dating is like going to high school and college - it is a young person's game. We are completely different people by thirty, never to return. I do not have a word for what it is, but seeking a mate past thirty is not "dating." Leave that BS to the young.
Same
As an older adult male, having to deal with the numerous delusional women who have convinced themselves that they are God's gift to mankind is quite bothersome.
Yes. They ain't no 'prize.' Most are literally liabilities.
I know what you mean friend, I went to a 40 Year HS reunion,
There was a stark difference between most of the men & women.
All the women looked so much older. It made me want to leave early
to get back around much younger women. Yes, The Wall is undefeated.
It the sense of entitlement that gets me. Especially women on dating apps. I have dated few I met on apps and they were great, but most women I date are ones I met for the first time in real life at a party or event. I have several core values that are deal breakers if a woman does not align with me. But I am pretty flexible on other stuff. What always blows me away is how so many women I have come across on apps have like 20 criteria that a man must meet in order to have the privilege of dating them. Which is hilarious on multiple levels. I have actually asked a few of them "A: What makes you think that if a man like that exists, that he is single?; and, B: What makes you think that if he is single he is going to choose to date YOU?" Never got a good answer to that....
@@northernlights5481the whole concept of hypergamy alone makes them INHERENTLY a liability.
@@jarrettgorin They just want to say they tried and keep it in tha streets !
4 harsh truths about dating no matter the age (specifically for men):
1. If you don’t have money, DONT date. If you can barely afford to live on your own and make ends meet, what makes you think you can satisfy a potential S/O. A lot of women in todays dating are materialistic (they are all about the money and that’ll be my next point).
2. If you have money, make sure you ain’t dating a “gold digger” (basically using you for your wealth)
3. Make sure they are not “settling” for you meaning: they’re not truly interested in you and you are their last resort because they’re desperate.
4. If they have a high body count (if you are weary about that), WALK AWAY. The more bodies they have, the less compatible they are because there’s little to no connection they can make with a potential partner.
Dead on they are only lookin fir money
How do you spot #3??
@@johndoe-pe9dy but you don't have any money
@@db4419This is easy. Are they listening to what you say? Are they interested in your life? Do they initiate physical contact? Do they show you off to their friends and family? Do they hold your hand in public?
wow, what bs
Online dating just flat sucks! I once arranged a meet up with a woman that was very attractive, a nicely done profile, and seemed genuinely excited to meet me. I kid you not, she showed up wearing Hello Kitty sleeping pants, a bubble coat, and tennis shoes with velcro (undone). She also looked like she hadn't showered in a week! As she approached me, I just started chuckling to myself, tossed a twenty on the bar for the beer I purchased, and smiled at the pretty little bartender and said, "this should cover my beer, the rest is for you," and walked out... 😂
good for you, I had a few surprises like that yrs ago when I dated in my 30s, no thanks I am out, quit at 46 now 67 and the dating pool was toxic waste dump after 40
@michaelsix9684 ... I'm 62 now. I haven't so much as kissed a woman in almost four years. I'm good with it. I'd rather be single than put myself through crap like that again... I'm at the, "if it happens, it happens" stage of life I guess..
Omg you're not the only one! I have had tinder dates and some of them have been awful, some of them doesn't even happen because the guys cancel. For example last time the guy seemed enthusiastic about the date, we set a time and as I was ready to go out the door I checked my phone one last time and he canceled because he had just ended a long term relationship and he felt he was rushing (I mean he spared me but don't make a date in the first place).
Mind you, I'm a 31 yo woman, but appear much younger, consider my self pretty and have a career and hobbies, so it seems it happens to everyone these days
@peke1822 ...It's the worst. Never dated off of Tinder, but I imagine they're all the same for the most part. Sorry you had that happen..
Was she fat?
36 and only started a month ago to learn today's dating standards, expectations and realities. I was unaware of so many things. Eyes are opening.
The truth is that most of us can’t handle the truth. So we make up fantasy worlds in social media.
Yes
Us/we = women
@@docsavage8640 or men that sub to only fans, streamers, play dating sims, etc.
No, the truth is that most WOMEN can't handle the truth. Men are forced to handle it. Women are the midpoint between adult and child.
@@docsavage8640And the entire red and black pill movement as well.. Same sad story.
I know that I mentioned in a previous video that I was a taking a temporary break from dating to prioritize a few personal goals, but I am glad this video was finally made. I sometimes worry what challenges I will face when I choose to enter the dating scene again, but I am glad you listed the positives, Courtney.
As I get older, my tolerance for games and bullshit gets lower. Thankfully, after bad dating experiences, I believe I’ve now found the one. Your videos have been great!
The main issues with dating, as you get older, is that most women and men have bad habits, are stuck in those habits, are very particular and picky, having more responsibilities, having your career, having your lifestyle, wanting your independence, etc. As a 44 year old, I don't have a problem finding women in their 20s, 30s or 40s to date online or in person! The issues are what I mentioned above on this comment! I think it's harder for older women in their 40s and 50s to find a man for many reasons!
True
I've heard that many older women in their 40s and 50s are actually quite active on dating apps... with, wait for it, young men in their 20s! LOL! I guess all pride is out the window. They get zero attention from anyone except a young, inexperienced guy who is desperate and can't get any action otherwise. Someone who would f anything. It's sad, but deserved given their past.
@@ronh1850 Younger men have a better fit body then older guys, and they don’t have ED. 👍🏾 good on those older women.
@@mesalouis8976 Not all men age poorly. Especially the guys long married and happy.
Anyway, if women want to date men young enough to be their sons, well then they shouldn't complain about men dating younger too. (not that I would)
@@ronh1850 It doesn’t matter if some men don’t age poorly or not, younger men look better. Period. As long as both parties are of legal age I don’t see the problem.
I hated my peers in high school. I never had the social circle to be a dating magnet. I was never good looking enough to be popular. While life is lonely, at least I have peace. I'm probably going to be single my entire life. At least life eventually comes to an end.
50% of marriages end in divorce, the other 50% end in death 😜.
I'm finding it mostly the same, I fucking hated school for the most part, especially since it seemed the older I got the worse my peers became. I was one of those marginalized nerdy guys who got picked on even by my team mates on the sports teams I played on. By now I'm 29 and I still remain a nerd except I've grown into my attractiveness and get hit on by a lot of girls int their late teens even, sometimes younger but I always avoid that whole mess. It just takes a bit of self-improving, getting out of one's comfort zone, and most importantly moving on from the past. That's the hardest part honestly is realizing your worth as a man.
I’m with ya there! For me, high school for the most part was depressing. Didn’t belong to ANY social circle so I was always alone. I was very shy and I wasn’t really good looking either, I wore the thick glasses and honestly didn’t take care of my personal hygiene. Today, I’m still a bit on the shy side but I think I have improved overall.
I'm thankful and grateful that life will eventually come to an end,
@@realistrick I don't believe you
The older we get, the more stubborn and set in our ways we get for sure. We also become more jaded and cynical and that makes it harder to believe in being with a person that's worth our time because we've probably had a terrible dating experience overall. As someone nearing 30, I've started to see these things in myself and I'm doing my best to course correct to avoid being that bitter older guy.
Do it I'm 30 telling u all u have said is true
That doesn't have to be true. The older I got the better my relationships got because I learned from my past. People need to learn from their mistakes and recognize better people for them.
Here is the thing that YOU CAN change... and that's your attitude of gratitude.
I'm 52 and I stopped dating 8 years ago and to be honest I'm very happy. You chose to be stubborn. You chose to be jaded. You chose to be cynical. You can't always control what happens to you. What you can change is how you respond to what happened to you. Make lemons out of lemonade.
Every day you wake up and you make choices. You are the author of your own story so instead of being the victim or the bad guy... be the hero.
Happiness isn't a hard option. :)
@kevinobrien3888 nothing to be grateful for. Life it just a waste of time and detriment to my "soul."
What advice you got for that?
@@trentreffner5699 I would argue many people would like to combat with you on several things they have encountered in the past or present.. Everyone of us has most likely already endured some close family member's death, serious or worse, near death experience, lack of financial success, emotional heartbreak, depression, lack of motivation etc.. just because you are struggling in the dating market doesn't mean it's the end all be all.. ijs.. have some faith that things will get better with time and realize that there are still things that need to be worked on.
Courtney, I am older gentleman and been divorced for over 10 years. The dating realm has been harsh. And I am an exception. I weight training six days a week, fully in shape.
I’ve worked on myself, healing, growing spiritual growth for the last 25 years
I have found a lot of women who aren’t healed, have guards up to high, want a relationship, but are afraid
I finally found a relationship that works for me.
I would meet women online, at concerts, through friends, but I finally found a woman who I truly love after many years of dating.
Some of the pros are, my confidence, my time to work out extensively, knowing what I do want knowing what I don’t want. My ability to communicate effectively.
The woman I am dating is a Gem. I could not see my life without her now, but it took many women to find the one I’m content. We both feel. We are blessed to find one another.
So basically, I feel that there is pros and cons regardless 20s 30s 40s and 50s.
I it can be difficult, but I never lost hope in finding a lifelong partner.
Never lose faith for those who feel it’s difficult.😊❤
I'm still binge watching, Courtney (blame the YT algorithm - and the fact that you make great videos! Good morning, btw).
So, I am, by definition, what is considered an "older dater". I can't say that it's difficult for me, aside from the fact that my schedule is pretty hectic. This is the "increased responsibility" aspect, though my visiting parents to see that they're doing well, about once-twice a week is part of that.
Established lifestyle? That's easy. I make time for whom I date. If you really want to date someone? You'll find time. Trust me on this, Court. I'm a medical director at our region's fastest growing independent hospitals on the west suburbs (that should narrow it down a tad). I also work for a government agency that deals with helping people, in times of need. That's a pretty full book, and I still fit in a healthy, positive dating life. In my case? I either date fellow medical professionals, or folks who are hard workers, because they understand the work lifestyle, and we manage to fit each other in said schedules. If I can do it? And they can do it? Anyone can do it.
Emotional Baggage - I will speak as someone who used to hold onto PTSD as emotional baggage. I say used to, because I had to find peace in everything. For anyone? You can find your peace. And when you do? You can also peacefully find common ground. Think about "self fulfilling prophecy", and how it applies to your emotions, as well as the emotions of others. You can be a rock and an island, yet still flourish. And as I have found? Taking the good with the bad of any state of mind leads to a nice harmonious vibe. Women, I found, are attracted to weathered temperament. Especially if you find reason to be humored at everything, and are just thankful for the opportunity to interact (and grow) with one another.
Limited social circles - I find that to be an advantage, actually. I used to be a socialite. The Georges knew me well, as did all of Cleveland's social scene. I walked away from it, when I realized the faux/pretentiousness only gave me headaches. I hate the plastique. I yearned to find "real" people. And I realized that meeting folks was as simple as just striking up conversation with people, when I walked up to them alone. Yes, even in Cleveland (where people aren't always as nice as Mayberry) is a place where I can meet folks, and practice talking one-on-one with others, and without them knowing my prefix, suffixes, titles, etc. I think, when you take off the scrubs, white coat, suits, etc., and you "dress down", you can strike conversation with just about anyone. Don't let age get in the way. Just go outside and strike up a chat during your lunch break. Yes, this actually CAN lead to dating, from time to time. ;-)
Priorities - This is a legit concern. Especially if there is an age gap. Same with the "biological clock". For guys, there actually is a concern, as modalities and fertility remains a question, depending on how they take care of their health. Women, of course, have the delimitation biologically, as menopause eventually sets in. I'm pretty fortunate, as I seem to attract younger women moreso than women my age (I'm mid-40s). But the priorities aspect is where I think most dating makes or breaks.
Aging physically? Work out, work your nutrition -- My dad is in his late 60s, and he looks like he's in his early 40s. Me? I'm in my mid-40s, and women say I look like I'm in my late 20s/early 30s. Think about that. Some of it is genetics. A lot of it is a great diet and exercise routine. Work out, and you're as young as you want to be, physically.
Less Options -- It depends. Depending on how you live life, what choices you've made, how you carry yourself, etc. I imagine that if I were "Johnny The Grocery Cashier", as opposed to "Dr. John", that my options would be lesser. But at the same time? if I were "Mr. John, office suit", or "John The Plumber", that I would still do just as fine as "Dr. John", with most women. I also agree that being more "fleshed out" as a person (accomplishments, hobbies, and anything related to living life) brings attraction.
Great video topic, as usual, Court! And to all of the older daters out there? Don't give up! You CAN have an amazing bachelor/date life, if you work at it. 🙂
😳 oh
Emotional baggage and being set in your ways are the biggest ones, due to being scorned from dating. Yet, so many turn to online dating which I can go all day ranting about...
My biggest positives are being self aware, level-headed, emotionally mature, having (and growing) social status, and closing in to finishing my masters and begin my second career
Emotional baggage and being set in your ways gets even more as you begin your 30s. Instead of turning to social media and online dating platforms. For me it's taking a hobby like swimming and finishing my building operations credentials. Keeping busy as a single person is a big one as your mind is preoccupied.
@@jonathandsouza5604 great perspective. Appreciate the reply!
I also enjoy the physical stuff, personally being trained, martial arts, etc.
Many need to go touch grass!
To make a long story short. It is all about the 💰. SMH
I got married at 38 and by then, dating was SIGNIFICANTLY easier. But there were a bunch of things I had to do to make that happen.
How did you find your wife? I'm 31 but it's gotten harder to find a good woman
Love to hear it. Good for you man, glad to hear you took this on with positivity
Probably got in good shape and made more money.
You were dating while married? 🤔
@@gillygrylls part of it, yes.
Hi Courtney. You are so true on your points. I think a big part of it is becoming settled in your ways. That's particularly hard to change as a guy in his mid 50s
In my 20's, I didn't care about the caliber of women I engaged with. I had more tolerance for red flags. A lot didn't bother me. Guys liking Facebook/Instagram posts, having guy friends, etc. I just rolled with it because that's how everyone is. And you don't want to be seen as 'insecure' right?
Wrong.
In my 30's, if she needs that validation, she's leaving my life. No questions asked. I have no tolerance for that level of selfishness anymore. If I'm not going to clubs and drinking on weekends, either are you. My peace and well being comes before anyone. Just because someone says "I like you" isn't an open invitation into my life anymore. You need to follow set standards and boundaries, if you can't do that then you are leaving.
That's why dating and engaging with women in my 30s is far different than 20s.
So true. They are going through a TSA type health screen to check for any diseases as well!
From a 37 year old experience (no kids):
- Most younger ones want to date around and go to fancy restaurants and be noncommitting which can be fine if its just going out.
- Older women are very picky on average and always try to fix or diagnose me as a project and not accept others as they are. Ironically its their life normally that is upside down.
- Career women are a no-go. I don't understand when they tell me they want to keep their established career and have a family but keep their career as a priority. Their plant or cat is of higher importance to them.
- Older woman tend to think highly of themselves in terms of a provider and prioritize what they want. Some just spend money like its water to keep up with the jones. I live a frugal but comfortable lifestyle and rental houses for passive income. Have to be on the same page as far as life style/money.
- And lastly, older women on average have high emotional baggage. Higher with a single mother as well. I won't date anyone above 29-30 because I want to have kids and a family. I think at 36-37 the birth defect rate is unacceptable and most at that age tends to be not marriage material (or desperate).
Your sperm is aged now too.
So its a no go then
Just met a beautiful woman at 37 who just had a child, it’s still possible in the thirties. Don’t limit yourself just in case a potential happens to be older.
@@theodore2311That's good advice but doesn't matter. I'm young looking and able to attract young women, but then they get all age prejudiced on me when they learn I'm not in my 20's. It's like they're obsessed with age, it's all they care about.
I don't think it's fair to say the birth defect rate at 36-37 is "unacceptable." I was the first of three kids and my mom had me at 33. That was in 1985. We all turned out fine, no health problems except some scoliosis in my sister that is really my dad's fault, since he has it.
Dating as I get older is way easier than before even as a single dad. I used to be really concerned and worried about having a child by myself but was denied only once because she just didn't want to date someone with a kid. Definitely more mature than before and even with tons of responsibilities and baggage have a pretty good time dating. More money does not hurt but that seems like less of an issue than it did when I was younger. The women I usually date are also much more mature and what a god send. We all have a past and can relate more because of it. I've watched your videos for over a year and they always make sense and I even take better care of myself partially because of it so thank you. Also don't particularly mind dating anymore just to have someone to hang out with without all the pressure of trying to be everything to someone I am happy to just be me and if someone likes it then plus one. Did recently get into a serious relationship and it's all the more better because of people like yourself. What a ride and scary and beautiful and painful but so worth it when with the person you want to be with. Guys don't take the red pill too seriously it's only a few women that act like that and leave them be. And girls when you find a good man that loves you and you connect keep that man. Every one else you'll figure it out. Watching videos like this is a good step in the right direction.
Good Sunday to everyone and to you, Courtney.
I follow you UA-cam videos because of two reasons:
1) While I realize that the audience that you are targeting is in thier twenties and thirties, even at the age of 64, you still bring up go points that I have forgotten or got lazy on.
2)Getting a good laugh at some of the videos that you watch of people stating their high expectations and becoming frustrated not being able to find a good companion and sometimes giving up at the age of around 25.
WOW!
All I can say is enjoy your life, your interests and the people tgat you are around you. And lower your high expectations. It will get you only frustrated and dussapointed like quite a few of those TikTok videos. Life ain't worth it.
A long comment follows......
I am 64. To all those out there think itvis tough at the age of your twenties or thirties, it does not get any easier.
I had two ladies in my twenties that just got up and left. Did not even said goodbye. Not even sure if they are alive and happy now.
Do not really care.
Ended up in my thirties to early 40's enjoying life, concentrating on my career and traveling, going out on dates by not really considering a relationship. Not being a player. Just not caring.
By my mid 40's I succeeded in establishing my career on being sought out and respected in my line of work and was able to travel by car most of the USA east of the Rocky Mountains.
By then I though of looking for some lady to be with as a companion to enjoy being with each other and similar interests.
I tried in multiple groups of the interests that I enjoyed. It never happened because or something that came up that took me away from that interest I was doing.
It all changed 10 years ago when both Karen's got sick. And with no one else around to help them, I dropped everything. After they both past away (2014 & 2017), I was on my own. I started looking for someone again thru online dating sites. Four years on four dating sites five times and one online speed date netted me nothing but con artists and scammers and ladies that were not looking for someone like me. They were looking for MORE ( I was called a homebody because I would not travel outside the country [lack of funds]
Now, at the age of 64, I am out learning Argentine Tango Dancing. I can do it, but only at the basic level. Thru the group I am meeting plenty of ladies who are friends, acquaintances and Tango Dance partners., and rarely get turned down when I ask them if they would like to dance with me. Once in a while they do.
But that isxwhere it stops. None are interested in me other than chatting and dancing with me.
While it is not ideal situation not being considered to go out on a date with me other dancing Tango ( I have tried. Besides, some are married or not into men), I am content on having many, many ladies around me, telling stories on what happened to them and enjoying each other at Tango events, and not getting down that they only look at me only as a friend and dance partner.
Too many things to say and a UA-cam comment space is not appropriate. I appreciate your content and the work you do to create a positive and proactive community, Courtney. Positive thoughts for your family and you.
I am 43 and single, but I am ok with it. Life threw me a few curve balls I didn't expect, health issues and financial struggling, when I was young, I was a IT guy, and then the crash or rather several tech bubbles hit, which affected the tech industry so I had to do what was necessary to survive, meaning in layman's terms, get my hands dirty, jobs most people in white collar, aka blue collar fields would not dare do out of pride.
it taught me several valuable lessons. I realized those who have never had to work at the bottom, don't appreciate the basic necessities of life.
A roof over your head.
A job. (Any job at one point)
A support system when times were tough.
Realized what is, truly important in the bigger picture.
I learned the important things at a younger age, so I am not shocked like most people who don't start thinking about them till they are older.
If I am to be single forever, I am ok with that, because I don't need someone else to validate who I am. I know who and what I am made of.
I would hope one day I would find those things, but I don't go looking for someone else to try and fill some void, because I grew up working blue collar farmers, so IT was a step up.
But I am ok being alone, because I know, what I value, I appreciate other people and their opinions, but opinions are everywhere, I don't let people's opinion of me determine my worth, like many people do in the dating scene today.
I see a generation who base their self worth off of their careers, status, social media, I learned long ago, watching person I loved go down hill, because when they took away his only love which was farming, I watched him loose all zest for life.
I realized, you have to find your worth in something higher than your job or your profession, because when that gets stripped from you, be it age, retirement, nursing home, all you have left is your beliefs and your memories, I believe that there is more to life than just dating and work, find out what you believe in, be it God, or something else, there is more to life than dating. 🤔
well said . I agree. depending too much on the external for validation, etc., is not it. develop yourself, your trust in yourself/ higher power and do things you enjoy. anything external should just be icing.
if you took away most people's external stuff in terms of validation, who are they really? do things people can't take away. things can be nice but it gets old pretty fast.
3:45 High school and college were hell for me. I’m autistic and was shunned. It only got better after I built a powerful, lucrative career. It was much easier meeting people via professional networking, where I was able to mask myself a little bit, learn how NTs interact, and try to mimic their behavior
Courtney, I'm 56 and been divorced for two years since my then wife of 21 years decided she "Wasn't happy".
I'll be the best boyfriend in the world, but I'll never get married again.
I would just find a woman who already hates me and buy her a house.
Consider a move to southeast asia
Finding someone who hates you shouldn't be an issue.
You are going to compete with HUD. You will be buying allllooootttt of houses. Hahahaaa😊
The vast majority of unattached women in the West sound dreadful. Please do some traveling overseas before swearing off all women. I met my wife 30 years ago in college. She's from SE Asia and to this day I'm so grateful that I listened to my gut that she was the one. Pure quality, as is her entire family.
A sharp contrast from my two serious GFs before her who are now bitter and single. I can't thank them enough for dumping me (both for a hot summer lol), all those years ago.
I am 54. I almost rushed into marriage back in the 2000s to early 2010s but am glad I did not. I was in Florida and met women from FSU. I was still in my 30s and often played rec center basketball as an older graduate student who also worked. At the time, it was relatively easy to meet someone at the campus gym. A lot of guys did that and quickly got engaged, married, then divorced. I believe the great recession of the the late 2000s or the pandemic and its stress factors would have ruined any marriage I had entered from that stage of life in Florida. I am glad I avoided marriage. Now, I am just working a full time job. I also returned back to get a PhD and am about half way through. I don't care about marriage right now. Someday when I grow up maybe I'll do it - lol.
@@manuelsteele7755 I’m 53 & just went back to school too mate, it’s so difficult, learning to learn again after 30 plus years, but gee it’s worth it to get those top-of-the class results in assessments! Well done with going for your PHD man, I hope to be doing the same thing in a few years time!👍👌💪
Thank you, Courtney. I'm 32 years old and have been beating my head against the wall for still being single. I've been expanding my social circle to get to know new people, I believe I'll solve this issue of mine soon.
Turning 30 this year, never been kissed, never had a girlfriend. The dating pool at my church is non existent. I actually convinced my Pastor to have a multi-church event for single people. I can't afford to be pessimistic about it anymore, it's draining, believing there is nobody left is a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy.
I'm 52 and quality people are a rare commodity. I stopped dating 8 years ago and have never looked back. My life is much better.
She will only want you if u have assets and a retirement she gets half of
Experience here talking
@@johndoe-pe9dy This is exactly why at 44 I stopped. At 52, not that I have a lot, but I'm not "sharing" it with someone who only sees me as a means to an end.
As a 49 year old male, MY problems are the limited social circles, less options and, to a lesser extent, not being able to father children. I really would like to have a son or daughter but it’s getting tough when you are getting older. As far as social circles are concerned, most of the people I’m normally around are fifteen to twenty years younger than me. And those that are in my age range are long married with a family. Lately, I’ve been seeing a few people I went to high school and college with and they have two or three kids. I admit, seeing them does get me down because I’ve wondered if I’ll ever have a family.
Me too and I’m 38 years old woman. It feels like I’m running out of time
You claim that you are not able to father children, but many men older than 49 can father children. Therefore, is there some other issue, medical or otherwise, that causes you to be unable to father children?
It’s not that I can’t father children because medical issues and I know men in their sixties and seventies becoming fathers. It’s a matter of finding a woman. @@HighpointerGeocacher
I am learning to date again as I am in my 60s now. It’s definitely different than when I was younger. But I’m learning to start over and look for a godly wife in the process. Thank you for your videos.They have helped so much and you’re definitely spot on about your advice.
57m with successful business, beautiful home and grown kids. Dont want to die alone but finding someone who is even happiness neutral (doesnt make my life better or worse) is almost impossible…granted it would be tough making it better now. I tend to pull the ripcord pretty fast at the first red flag. Football seasons are amazing nowadays!
But think about all the BS and drama you'll put up with just to not die alone. I'm 52 and I'd rather live in peace and die alone... then be nagged until I die.
38 yo men here, it doesn't get any easier with age/time. Expectations are getting higher faster than a man can improve, it just wears a man down. To add to the challenge, I live in rural area (and won't change that) so the dating pool is very limited and mostly masculine.
Did you ever see that funny Tik Tok of two guys planning on getting married and living together. Getting a boat, getting a lake cabin, having two master bedrooms, dating whoever they want for recreational fun, etc etc. By the end of the skit, I swear the both of them thought it was a better option than finding a female partner 😂.
You could always just find yourself a nice guy and blow each other's backs out.
@@sasesinghan3543 Didn't watched the mentioned video, I just don't watch Tik Tok... and I wouldn't date for recreational fun (yes I'm that old school!)
@@hotpockets69 I might sound old school, but I'm very heterosexual.
@@manic6030 well you've put yourself in a situation where the only thing available is dick, so it could be a good time for you to expand your horizons. Also, sexuality doesn't belong to any one particular period in time.
This video is spot on. 52 in a college /government town...it's a major challenge. Also the fact that I've never been married or had kids impacts. Distance also seems to be an issue. I don't mind road trips, but have gotten shot down a lot lately on line due to the fact that I'm like 40 minutes away.
Have you been shot down yet because never been married or having kids is also apparently a red flag?
Also 52 bro, I am into fitness and have a high income. I am a distance inline skater and find women into that. They are usually much younger though :lol:. The question is if they are worth taking to the finish line (e.g. marriage).
@@alb12345672 am just now learning inlines. Much better with quads.
Re taking to the finish line...looking at the marriage history of the women I've dated over the past two years. It's not even an issue. They have all been married 3-5 times. That's a hard pass for me. Hell they aren't going to get anything out of it anyway. Everything I have is going to my brother.
Dating is always difficult for unfit, or poor, or un-groomed, or lazy, or uninteligent men. If - this is you - sort it out dude. Be the best you can be. Here is my own special tactic - couple dancing has a constant supply of young women. As a 53 year old I have a 30 year old girlfriend because of it.
@@hughobrien4436 Exactly.
I have found that as I get older dating women It seems that they now realize that they wasted their prime years to secure a husband. And most have made not only relationship mistakes by dating exciting Bad Boys instead of boring Good Guys, they have also made many financial mistakes. They are tired of working hard at a career and being independent, and are now desperate to have it easy and will settle for a Good Guy to bail them out. I call it the Feminist Mid-Life Crisis.
they end up with a guy they despise just because he has a job and he's polite and then it's a living hell for both.
the media lied to them, their teachers lied to them. Their parents never told them the truth about their fertility and youthful value. It's pretty serious and many of these women will end up lonely and depressed when all they had to do was pick a guy to get pregnant by in their 20s.
Live your life and just do your thing and the women that really want a piece of you will come and get it. It’s rare but doing your thing and letting them come after you is so much easier than stressing yourself out over dating and raising attraction and just all the crap that goes into dating. Put yourself in public regularly and have things going for yourself eventually a woman will come after you. Experience has shown me if they want you bad enough and find you attractive enough they will come after you and it will be stupid obvious.
You may have some women chasing you of course but really are you attracted to them? In my case, I have had some women interested but I was not fully into them….
@@hump1953 sometimes that is part of the equation. Other times it couldn’t have worked out better! And even also sometimes I would have to take a long step back and make some compromises. Maybe she didn’t “look” exactly like someone I thought I’d be attracted to but sometimes you gotta try some variety. I will say this also, not ever woman that’s ever chased after me was worth it either. I will say out of every woman that pursued after me only 1 was relationship type material.
I like looking at womens foot
@@blackpearL40-y2p
...End then put their foot under an X-ray and stare at it for ages...😂
Cheers!✌
Men want the women they're attracted to, to chase them. Not the women that they're not attracted to.
As men get older, dating gets harder when you lack the level of money and home ownership that others fully expect you to have. Let's not forget that because that is always a Thing. Always.
So if you're a high school English teacher who rents a house you can't have a romantic relationship with someone? You have to be the chairman of Microsoft? If that's the case then something is seriously wrong with this society?
Just get in shape, stop making excuses.
yea once you hit 30 they absolutely expect you to own property.
I am a 52 year old guy who is dating.
Pros: I am much more socially and emotionally mature than when I was younger. I have a successful career, own my own house, have more than enough money to live comfortably and do fun things whenever I like. That makes me more attractive to women than a younger man who doesn't have as much life experience and success.
Cons: The dating pool is different and a lot smaller than when you're in your 20's or 30's. Most people in their 20's are still discovering what they want in life and are not yet in long-term relationships and are more open to meeting a new partner. There are beautiful and sexy women in their 40's, but most of them are in a relationship. Also, most of them already have kids.
Truth about dating as you get older? There's no such things as having dates. Everyone too picky and scarred to give someone a chance. I'm 43 and I'm giving up, and it doesn't help I am a normal, average guy, as it is expected that by my age I already have amassed enormous wealth, status and charisma.
Yes, sadly, as well as three or more luxury homes, a private jet, and an infinite amount of time to scrape and bow to every delusional woman who thinks she is a 10+ when she's really a 2, 3, or maybe 4.
What you talking about? I've been on plenty of dates. It's fun. Don't be average then. I mean do you even go to da gym?
I have dated more in my 40s than I did in my 20s.
I have standards, but I’m not picky. I can’t tell from one date if a person has the standards I’m looking for.
After my divorce, I knew I wanted to date. I found a ton of dating ideas on Pinterest. I typed them into a list. I searched Yelp for restaurants in my city that I want to try. I typed those up, too.
I bought outfits, so I’d have something to wear. I would take myself on dates. I can’t meet anyone sitting in my living room.
One night, I met a man. We dated for a year.
When we tried to go to his favorite restaurant, it was closed. I already had a different restaurant in mind. Remember, I had a list.
When he came to me concerned that he couldn’t afford to wine and dine me, I printed out my list of dating ideas. I even separated it into different price points.
What’s cheap? Ice cream. Picnics. Walks in the park. Game nights. Red Box movies.
I can’t change your mind if you’ve give up, but I can tell you from experience that dating can be fun.
@@StanthemilkmanThe difference is he doesn't say "da"
@Stanthemilkman, it's funny how everyone says "don't be average". Majority of people will be average because that's how average is defined. Why being average is so looked down upon? Why one have to be some top percent to be treated without contempt?
Biggest issues IMO are the ossification of bad habits in your older dates and their kids. Bad habits have "worked" for them for decades in their mind and people really never change. Kids in the house = just be friends with benefits. Step-parenting is not for the faint of heart. Life is too short. There are very few scenarios where the step does not feel disrespected, ignored, or taken for granted. Sometimes all at the same time.
Adult kids...are they really out on their own or will you be bankrolling their college/apartment/lifestyle. It is a tough one.
4:05 that is true, you can use online dating for hookups to get practice with intimacy you can use online dating to practice flirting with new girls or mastering how to keep a girl's attention that you just met, but if you really want something of substance that will last a long time, you have to meet this woman in person. There has to be initial signs of chemistry and multiple chances to test the vibe overtime. You can't do this over the phone
I know it’s an excuse to bow out of dating but as a 45 yr old less desirable man it’s tough to pick yourself up after rejections.
go overseas, you still have time, at 67 it's over for me, no sense for you to waste some good years ahead
Spartan I'm a 72 year old WM.I stopped dating at 45.
go to asia dude. dealing with American women is just torture.
I’m 70 years old, single, never married… took care of myself physically, had a good career, own nice house and car, fat brokerage account and take four international trips a year… women my age just not worth the squeeze…. I cast a wider net going abroad for younger fit, fun, feminine women…
You my friend are a God, and my future self.
That just sounds really predatory, just enjoying younger women from other countries and never actually committing? I guess you're traveling to some less well-off countries like Asia and South America
@@peke1822 it’s not predatory, who says I never committed?
This is the wonderful, beautiful reward we men get as we age. I am in my 60s but I live in Latin America. The women here are far superior to what I left in America. My options here are so much better and as a result I can date younger women.
When she said "older" was 30.... I guessed older for her meant 40 at least, but, i guess to people in their 20's anyone past 30 is old.. As a 55 year old single average guy, i've pretty much given up. The points you made are solid and smart for any age range and I fall into a few of those and this has given me things to think about. Thank You!
Thanks to social media it's best to give up and enjoy your hobbies. I'm 52 and I clocked out 8 years ago.
Lmao I know right, I’m 42 and thought she’d be talking about 40+…
I know, isn't it hilarious to see twenty-somethings fretting about 30. 30! OMG! The world has ended!
Dating is always difficult for unfit, or poor, or un-groomed, or lazy, or uninteligent men. If - this is you - sort it out dude. Be the best you can be. Here is my own special tactic - couple dancing has a constant supply of young women. As a 53 year old I have a 30 year old girlfriend because of it.
@@hughobrien4436bro she is with you because of your money.
Hey Courtney. I do not usually watch these types of videos,but I came across one of yours the other day and have been unable to stop watching them since. As a young single man I feel the topics you talk about have a lot of relevance in my life and are very helpful to me. I do not consider dating to be an important aspect of my life I’ve been on a date with a girl before but it didn’t end up working out for me. I would like to meet a nice girl but it’s hard for me because i’m a little apprehensive about approaching people especially women in public and I work with mostly old people at my job which doesn’t help either (i’m 22). I do not have a college education so I have nowhere for me to really go and meet new people outside of my job. I know that’s a lot to digest what I really just wanted to say is I love your videos and the topics you talk about really write home for me and you have made a subscriber out of me for sure.
I’ve been out of the dating market for 13 years since I met my ex wife. I was 21 back then and now I’m 34 so it has changed a lot, plus I’m older now. I have noticed women have more requirements and I might have to be a step dad if I date a woman my age.
Don’t date single mothers. If you’re 34 years old you’re starting to be in your prime. Date women in their late 20s.
In my last few years over 90% of the "available" women I could pull were all single mothers. That's part of why I stopped dating.
Maybe its the area you live in. 34 is still considered young in the more metropolitan populated areas. Especially if you date a more educated woman. There’s plenty of women who went to college and therefore waited to have kids before establishing a career. Look for those types of women.
I’m in the same boat, but at the same time, she must be willing to have a child with me as well. No compromising!
Try being a single father of two with custody it's been awful I'm 34 as well
Courtney, about waiting to get married....I have a cousin that didn't get married for the first time til he was 40. He was in our Army full-time and moved around quite a bit (I think that had something to do with it) and he was stationed in Ireland at one point, met a woman from there, and they eventally got married and are still married to this day.
Me personally, I'm 48 and never married and at this point.....I think that ship has sailed. What sucks is I'll never have a family or kids but at least, I don't have a divorce hanging over my head.
What was his dating life like before he met his wife at 40
@@nobodysperfect06 - not sure, since this is a cousin of mine. As I said, he was in our Army full-time and moved around quite a bit which I think had something to do with him getting married a bit later.
Unfortunately it seems like many people do not have retirement funds. I frequently get asked if I am financially ready for retirement, which I am. But only for myself. That typically ends the date.
I would have ended the date first since they are looking for you to save them from despair. Ask them to get a refund on all of the cosmetic upgrades throughout the decades. BBLs, LiPo, Stupid blue/green hair colouring, 1 inch nails that are useless, and thousands spent on ridiculous tattoos that all could have been saved for retirement.
30yr old, ditched the dating apps after bad experiences, would love to meet a woman in person, but actually doing that… wow, these times we live in are altogether very odd when it comes to dating, fingers crossed things change and I can meet someone but I’m not holding out much hope, I’m in good physical shape, do well career wise and I believe I’m good company to be around but honestly, this is tough!
Sending positivity to all in my situation!
UK!
When is the last time you approached a girl?
@@Stanthemilkman the weekend before last, it went quite well actually, had a good laugh, enjoyed each others company, but yeh, it’s not going to be the big relationship… not sure what the last time I approached a woman has to do with anything I’ve put in my original comment…
@jonnyb2020 it doesn't matter if it turns into a relationship or not. Just doing it is the goal, it grows you as a person. Try doing it more. Journey not destination.
@@Stanthemilkman appreciate the input, I’ve talked to and dated many women in my life, it’s more just the context of this moment in time, dating at the moment is nonsensical and it’s not something I’m particularly enjoying and I know lots of people that aren’t also, it’s an odd one but I agree, do it more and grow is good advice!
Dating is always difficult for unfit, or poor, or un-groomed, or lazy, or uninteligent men. If - this is you - sort it out dude. Be the best you can be. Here is my own special tactic - couple dancing has a constant supply of young women. As a 53 year old I have a 30 year old girlfriend because of it. Good Luck to you in the UK.
Hair and outfit on point Courtney 💪
I'm tired of putting in maximum effort to then receive bare minimum, if that, in return. I'm not talking about the bedroom. I'm talking about just the first date, or even just getting to the first date. I'm 35. I cannot date my age. I've tried. If I end up finding someone, I'm confident she will be at least 10 years younger than me. Or she is extremely down to earth, humble, feminine, trustworthy, and loyal.
I'm coming to find that if you're getting minimum effort from them... they think they're better then you because they have more/better options.
Yes! 💯
Why would you want to date a woman at the end of her reproductive life, with a emotional or children of other men baggage, and perhaps a body found of 10+ over a woman 10ths younger???
As a man, you must never date girls in your age bracket.
Im in my 50s tried a few dating apps couole of years ago , they suck. I literally have no desire to start dating but if it happens by chance then it happens . Im not searching anymore and theres a real peace to being alone , not telling anyone where you are going what you are doing . I love it
Everyone you meet has a past, and so do you. Don't focus on that.
Focus on being a better person than what you were, and hopefully the one you meet will be doing the same thing.
The men here seem to think they dont have baggage as they age and only women do...
@@ewoman3584I agree there is always baggage, the one huge difference is that most men spend their teens and twenties pretty much terminally single while for women it's usually one long dickhopping spree. So a totally different and much lesser form of baggage on the man's part.
@@realistrick- that doesn't even make sense. If the men are 'terminally single', then whose d*cks are the women hopping on?
@liver_damage Oh tons of 30+ men are single dads, divorced already, etc. Most men actually dont spend all that time single. Most men lose their virginity by 17.
You just think its less baggage when its just different baggage.
@@ewoman3584 30% of men are completely sexless, not one time having sex in years. Most men 30+ are NOT single dads nor divorced. Keep making shit up, keep riding that CC, no one will come and save you old lady. we men are waking up and getting the 18 year old girls, much much better experience in every regard.
As you get older, dating doesn’t exist for me. My time is very important to me, and I have no time for nonsense……which is what dating is today.
Happy Sunday ! 🌞😁
Try dating at 65. I admit I have some issues good and bad. Working on revising the bad. All my stuff is paid for my adult children are doing well. Have found most women are even more inflexible and set in their ways than I ever thought of. Just looking for someone I can get along with and be their best supporter and friend. I think there’s a difficult road ahead for me.
Good luck but by that age I really wouldn't be arsed about dating. I'm 30 and can't be arsed with it now even.
I'm 41 and unmarried. That must mean my odds of getting divorced were I to ever get married is awfully close to 100% 😂
Source?
@@DavidMatias79every divorced man 😂
A grown man using emojis like a teenage girl
@@blackpearL40-y2p your masculinity must be really fragile for an emoji to trigger you. No wonder women call it all toxic.
Not true at all. The odds of getting divorced are astronomically higher for jocks and pretty boys. But if you'll only settle for the most beautiful dream girl then yeah, better to stick with porn and your AI girl Plasticia.
25% of 40 yr olds in 2021 had never married. This is a high, but then in 1910, the number was 16%. The "never-married" declined bottoming out in 1980 (people born in 1940). Then rose again to return to normal in 2000 but kept going up. The 1950-1980 period that is often considered the "norm" was actually not. This is from a recent Pew Research report.
They did find that "never-married" at 40 had only a 25% chance of having been married at 60. And if you are a realistic, responsible man, 40 is really your cut off for children as you'll be 60 before you get them to adulthood. Not to mention in your 50s your employment becomes tenuous as companies dump older workers.
Hi,
I really appreciate how you highlight both cons and pros about this topic, interesting and objective.
I always learn lots of things with your videos.
Thank you so much.
Take care
Dating for me, has been rough for the past 5-6 years. I’ve only gotten myself involved with females with emotional and traumatic baggage. I’ve tried to make it work but things just don’t work out. Too many headaches, baggage, stubbornness, and conflicting outlooks. I also have myself to blame for not working on myself enough and being watchful of red flags.
They all have that just hit it as much as possible and leave
I talked to a bunch of 20 year old men when out the other day and they said already at 20 it’s harder to meet new women compared to high school.
I feel fortunate after listening to this since I have some of the pros from both younger and older guys in my specific case, since I look very young but have good resources though I have only few cons from either case, a bit less freedom due to kids and not seeking exclusivity after experiencing that already all my life but I’m happy about my “cons.”
You’re right it’s way harder online but it can also make you better for it. In person ends up feeling almost too easy in comparison but it also requires practice just progress is much quicker.
You can get lucky online but there’s a lot more BS that way.
Interesting marriage stats. I find women in their 30s feeling the pressure act the worst (similar to men in their mid-to-late 20s when pressured to succeed) but the ones that don’t feel that pressure or are younger (or in their 40s) usually act better.
Yeah it's very strange. I'm a top earner and in great physical shape in my late 30s and dateless. I am very selective but not shallow. Too many women living the drink, smoking, party life and I want no part of it. Good women is harder to find than good men.
What age range are you trying to date?
I find more younger women willing to have a conversation with me. When I turned 38, it flipped from ladies my age or older willing to chit chat to younger ladies. Also, I've been told that it's how I carry myself. I don't know. Never was afraid to talk to anyone, and I'm never rude. No matter what is said or done to me.
Miss. This is a great presentation for older people dating. Over all, at least for me is be positive, have confidence, be open to new experiences, never show being hurt from rejection, be yourself with honesty, and remember you're looking for companionship just like they are. It's ok to feel awkward, to be nervous. Bravery is over looking fear and reacting to attain your goal. I use fear as fuel.
You have a soothing voice, Miss.
I'm in my late 30s now, and I would say that my dating experience has changed a lot from where it was in my 20s. I had to work a lot harder back then to attract women. Now, it seems I don't have to do much to have a least one woman in a social situation show interest. My issue is that my standards have changed dramatically, and the majority of the women I meet these days just don't meet those standards. The lack of social avenues to interact with them doesn't help either, but I'm working on that.
Hi Courtney ! Did you change the camera? The video looks fire 🔥🔥
At 41 I have slowly come to realize that, though lonely, it has been better to be single. I've been divorced for about 3yrs, and I realize just how much I had focused my existence on the happiness of unreciprocating partners. It has been an uphill struggle to find initiative in realizing and pursuing what I want, but I have really blossomed in my art and hobbies (which previous relationships impeded). My attempts to date since divorce have only damaged my self esteem and lowered my faith in people. It has been a relief since I decided to stop trying and accepted it won't happen so I could move on. Lonely, sure, but the negatives of it are far outweighed by the negativity trying to date brought me.
I own 3 houses now in SoCal beaches and buying a condo here CASH OUTRIGHT. God damn pat myself on the back for not being a simp! 😂😂
Coffee and dating are a grind.
In my experience with online dating in the west. I noticed there is a-lot of single mothers with unrealistic standards. Nobody wants to be a step father to these children especially if their father is still around.
It's better if the father is around.
Thank you for the video! I would like to hear from woman in their 30s and 40s like you did with the younger girls in the last year.
Dating has always been difficult for me, whether I was 15, 26 or 42.
That's better luck than I've ever had. You at least got dates.
It's not so much YOU as it is the world changing. I'm 52 and I agree people and western culture just continue to get worse.
Dating is always difficult for unfit, or poor, or un-groomed, or lazy, or uninteligent men. If - this is you - sort it out dude. Be the best you can be.
@@hughobrien4436 I don’t think you have many facts on your side. If this is your worldview okay, then you have blinders on to reality.
Just in my experience alone and in using basic observation skills of my surroundings I know you’re dead wrong.
@@hughobrien4436 Dating is always difficult for judgmental people. All they see is what's wrong with the other person, which chases away that other person.
Never been on a date, late 30s this year (5'7 Asian). Saved a ton of money in not doing so, and dodged a lot of bullets there. Happy now, money, time, freedom, peace!
It has been harder for me too now that I already in the 30’s. Past my 20’s prime.
I can say as I get older, is that I know what I want in my life, I know what I enjoy and I know who I am. If I were to date again, the difficulty is meeting someone who is mature enough to know how to enjoy the journey with me instead of trying to “change or fix” my ways
I see age as a form of magnifier. The good and the bad habits you have acquired over the years become more prominent. If you've been social all your life, you'll probably have no trouble picking up women. If you'd been in relationships, then you are probably good at that by now, also. Other than that, I think older people are far more direct, and communicate what they want with hardly any filter. Older women also seem to be far less passive, and there is probably a reason for that.
young women are very passive, even if they like a guy they won't do much to initiate it. the way the laws are with harassment and women labelling guys 'creeps', its just not worth it to approach and initiate anymore though, these women don't understand that. A desirable guy isn't going to approach them anymore, it's a stalemate.
Great information/video,as a widower 1 positive & negative aspect is as a widower & 60 + years old there's certain expectations that you look for,trying to explain it to your potential partner is ruff & their judgement of you is uncharted territory,question arise like are you looking to replace your late wife or something new,which is tricky at best & you're unsure what you're looking for yourself
The truth about dating at any age is that its always a gamble. There is no guarantee that you'll find the type of person that you're looking for at any age. There is no guarantee that you'll find the "right person". There is no guarantee that you'll even have a career by the time that you reach your thirties. Even if you do make a career for yourself, everything comes at a price. You'll have to ask yourself if you're willing to pay it. Some aspects of life are beyond your control, and you just have to make the most of them.
When I divorced in 2005 I got many dates and relationships over the next ten years. In the past four years I have had no relationships and a few dates. The dating landscape certainly has changed BUT I have become much more selective with whom I share my resources such as time, effort, and money. I am not actively seeking a relationship for the first time in 18 years.
How to actually meet normal woman is the real problem and I think deserves its own video.
-Dating apps are garbage.
-Clubs, bars, parties are mostly filled with the bitchy/crazy/tiktok-brainwashed type of women we all know, since those places are heavy on hookup culture.
-You can't create new social circles out of thin air. And having a passion doesn't necessarily mean you'll meet new people through it.
Hell, I'm in college and draw a thick line between my female friends and potential partners, so what am I left with?
I've been blessed with a nice face and respectable height, all my life women have led me to believe I'm attractive. But it's all meaningless if there are no women to set my sights on...
My friend your answer is here search 33 places to meet women.
I'm well past "dating" age. After my wife of 2 years died from cancer, I just asked myself, "Why bother looking for someone else?" I'm just being completely truthful with myself. I'll never find anyone like my eternal love (Barb). I spend my time volunteering -- reading to kids and working with people with disabilities.
Creeping up in your 30's feeling as if all hope is lost, how about us in our late 60's and beyond? Things look pretty dire from my perspective! 😒
I agree about being set in my ways. I have a lifestyle I love, and I would not sacrifice any of it for a woman.
the truth applied to me is that, as I get older as a man, less and less people shame me for being single which is a good thing.. and even if they do, I don't give an F anymore..
if you are don't paying me and you are not paying my bills, I don't care about what you think.. and, as I pay my own bills and people I work with don't care about my personal life, I became free form all this BS
4:06 Absolutely true. The term “good on paper” is now “good on social media”. And just like in the days of paper, some of us are vastly better off IRL than on media.
For me, it has been all about the immense amount of drama that is already around. Maybe I perceive it easier after years of therapy and personal growth, but it's not easy to discover a drama free (or a low drama) woman.
Women thrive on a constant "drip" of drama. Men avoid it at all costs... basically.
@@kevinobrien3888 while the rate of creating drama is inclined to women, we should admit that there are a lot of men who also act in that way as well (if it werent the case, there wouldnt be all those codependant couples around).
If you ask me it is more about self confidence, selfesteem. We the men who run from drama are usually the ones with therapy processes behind or healthier child lifes (but there are cases of trust and commitment issues as well). Bottomline, we all are capable of drama and we all should run from it.
I feel like online vs irl when it comes to dating really depends on the person. I was IRL all the way for years with absolutely no success. Most women at work were older, couldn't speak English well and were married, there were few single women at church and in my softball league. I decided to give Coffee Meets Bagel a chance and met plenty of great women. I only used it for about a year until I met my now wife.
Courtney, you are not a snob…You deserve the best coffee on the planet!
This may be your best video Courtney
Expectations are a lot higher financially and emotionally.
Hi Court!
But it should be for both partners. There is an imbalance of expectations. Don't ask men to lay all their cards on the table and show how they will take care of you before you decide whether that time and effort is worth reciprocating, and as soon as women are "not happy," just pack up and leave, taking whatever they can with them. We're wising up now on know it never will be enough. Social media, the internet, and the world opening up because of technology has made hypergamy a reality for many.
Here's the funny thing I'm noticing in a great percentage of the male advocacy spaces...we don't strive on attention and validation, and many of us are okay on our own. Our core biology and purpose hasn't changed as much as what's been going on in female spaces over the last 50 years. It seems to me that women are in constant battles defining who they are, their gender and sex, societal roles, independence, traditional or boss babe? It's all a hot mess! And a lot of us men want nothing to do with it as it pertains to relationships.
As a 36 y/o single man I agree with all the other men here. Peace of mind is extremely valuable and we spot red flags way faster compared to when we were younger. We also know ourselves wayyy better, so we can really express precisely what we like or don't. Career wise, I'm completely stablished, good salary, nice appartment and most importantly... stable life. Emotional intelligence is our strong now and if you are a dude that has a lot of energy like me, then you're a very very fit because going to the gym is just amazing and you do it to keep loving yourself.
The risk of divorce is a very important factor. Men have more to lose. I lost my home, my daughter, and everything else and wasn't even married. You are correct, as well, about having better luck in our 30's. I am 36 and have had more sexual partners in my 30's so far than in all of my 20's. I have improved in many ways, gaining life experience, becoming more confident and approachable.
what shithole u live in? Canada?
Positively agree to Courtney.
My experience, being now slightly over 50. 1. go out and show yourself. Show interest in things and people. "dating apps" are an entirely useless waste of time, and in most cases, money.
Marriage, any age, life advice : DON'T ever marry - unless you get a million dollar of not-to-be refunded (in case of divorce) funds along with the bride.
What my experiences have been? HA! What experiences? I am 31 turning 32 next month, have never been in a relationship, never dated, never been kissed, the whole nine yards. It has just been heartbreak and bad luck and according to the statistics, it looks like my marriage, which isn't going to happen anyway, will end in a divorce. Just tough to keep pressing on with dating when all I hear is no or something WAY worse.
Im 52 and its brutal out there. 5’10, not rich and I workout 7 days a week . My options are extremely limited now and it’s become pointless to try.
Getting rejected is almost a relief
Great job as always! I’m 28 so still young but too old to just not care. This helped!
There are considerable risks involved, but when I was 51 and recently divorced I found online and eventually married a 42 y.o. intelligent, creative, educated, career-oriented beauty from Eastern Europe - thus side-stepping a lot of the "modern woman" entitlement BS that was becoming increasingly a factor in dating. We've been together now for 17 years - so far, so good!
The key word there was "Eastern Europe". They are more traditional.
@@kevinobrien3888no they're not.