A Simple Way to Free Yourself From FEAR
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- Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
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Most CPTSD treatments urge you to jump right in and either tell your trauma story, or start tackling problems. In my experience that just triggers dysregulation and blocks progress. So in the method I teach, I begin by addressing FEAR. In this video I share not just WHY fear is at the root of trauma symptoms (and most human problems, for that matter), but exactly HOW to get free of it.
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I'm a doctor and a therapist who learned many many practices to help myself and my clients in their childhood trauma NOTHING worked better for me than this daily practice and now I teach it to every client and I give you the credit Anna, I can't recommend this daily practice enough to everyone, and yes it's not like any journaling we used to do. I'm grateful beyond words to you Anna you are an amazing beautiful person , sending you much Love ❤️
I'm excited to start this practice 😘🙏🏽
Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy
I can’t ensure someone won’t hurt me again, but I do know that I’ll be okay if they do. It’s worth being vulnerable.
I just did something that both excites and terrifies me. I applied for my dream job ( working with special needs children ); I was afraid I wouldn’t get the job but I told myself I nothing to lose by applying ( only a hurt ego ) so I applied. I got the job and I start next week 🥰
I have worked from home, for myself in isolation for over a decade.
Now new fears are here, what if I’m not up to task, what if they don’t like me, what if I’m too awkward or shy, what if I do or say something wrong.
So far all my fears around this job haven’t happened so I will have to have faith in the process and myself and just do the best I can.
I met everyone I will work with yesterday and they all seem so lovely and welcoming.
Just applying for a job, following through and doing something outside my comfort zone have been massive steps of progress for me.
That's great! Thanks for listening! -Calista@TeamFairy
Best wishes for your dreams coming true! You are brave and doing what you love will certainly bring fulfillment in previously unimagined ways because you will be sharing yourself and your special gifts, as Anna says.
Many blessings to you & yours.
I just made a vow to myself to never again share how someone “did me wrong”. I’ve been accused of nurturing a “victim mentality” spawning a revulsion toward my vulnerability. 😐 it hurts, but I get the message. Fear of rejection is the most powerful kind of fear.
Indeed! ❤
I’ll do it with you if you want a buddy! :)
Yes I stopped doing that a little while ago. I thought I was venting but I was living in a victim mindset and it was sabotaging my present.
Firstly most people you tell don’t really care, then there are others that take joy from your misery and dramas. And it can alienate you from the people you need/want in your life if being around you is a drain.
My trauma is a recent trauma that stirred up all my old traumas, so it’s been hard to not vent or look for empathy. But I don’t want all my friendships revolving around this one trauma and I just don’t want to talk about it anymore.
What I do is write a letter to the people who hurt me, then burn it or delete it. In your case "It really hurt to be invalidated by your words when I told you how I was victimized." Word it however you feel, I obviously know very little of your situation. But it works for me. It hurts, but helps
This resonates with my life, even the being a negative Nancy, but not realizing I was causing some of my destruction.
I hold myself accountable now, it's the best thing I could've done for myself.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind 2 Timothy 1:7. I always found comfort in that scripture and I hope it helps someone else. 😀
This video explains how I have been for years…Being taught fear from my parents…Then me as an adult having fear about everything…Then trying to control everything from the fear…. even though I had been blessed in life so much. I am thankful to learn this, change, and break these generational chains. Learning that I am not my trauma helps. Your Daily Practice has helped me so much along with choosing to follow God again. Thank you for your videos!
my fear is for me a defensive mechanism that was built from previous experiences. I am actually thankful for this fear now, because it directs me to a different side of thinking, more responsibly, where I respect my own boundaries, I am kinder to myself, gentler, I take care of my own affairs and projects. For the first time, I feel so free and joyful that I have total control over my emotions, actions and thoughts.
I've finally realized that I've been swimming in this kind of fear all my life, and as they say fish are the last to discover water. Thank you for everything you do!
Thanks for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy
I don't remember which video it was, but your words triggered something that my awareness had missed, for 68 years. And when I accepted that it was relevant, I felt a shift away from fear. I've never known a secure relationship, in which I could rest my identity. My mother reject me at birth, and I had no father. A common recipe for a career criminal, but I decided at an early age not to go that route. However, the ramifications of such a reality still deprive you of the ability for subtle, and powerful functions in interacting with others. I had been wondering, for a long time, why the solutions to those issues were so illusive. Finding answers like this is very liberating from fear!
So glad you're here, thanks for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy
This is what literally EATS UP MY DAYS!!! I’can’t even explain what I did for the bulk of my day and it’s FEAR! Doom! Thank you, Anna for being light and love.💖
Thanks for listening! Sending you encouragement. -Calista@TeamFairy
I’m scared just watching this actually sobbing and terrified I’ll be this way forever being around others is just too hard😢
I send you strength
Many Thanks, very helpful!! Happy New Year, Peace From London!! 💙
I was trying to explain this to a friend the other day. Living with fear. Or better yet, not living because of fear. There are so many things I want to do, I want to meet people and just feel alive. Yet I feel I'm paralysed with fear. Most of the time I can't even point out exactly what I'm afraid of. Rejection, abandonment, failure, being hurt, being laughed at, being forever on my own. A mix of those. What a walking contradiction I am. Loving life yet being so afraid to live it. I have signed up for the daily practice but haven't taken the time to go through it. It seems like the perfect time now. Thank you!
Thanks for listening. Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
I've been in a prolonged episode of cptsd symptoms for a few weeks and have been running away from everything, including help.
The title of this clip spoke to me so I watched it. Nothing I haven't already heard, mostly... except the part where you said "or just do what you can". In those six words I felt your compassion, support, understanding, gentleness and kindness.
I appreciate you so much, Anna. Thank you 💖
Thank you. The “fear” I feel has nothing to do with being chased around with a knife and the “safety” I seek is a calm mind. It’s comforting to know that other people feel fear the same as myself. I constantly fear I won’t be good enough for other people and I put on a tough front that makes people think I’m strong but in reality I’m very sensitive and fragile. I guess I also fear if I drop the front no one will believe I’m worthy of the compassion I need. I feel so alone.
Sending you encouragement! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I’ve been listening to Pete Walker’s “The Tao of Fully Feeling” while exercise walking. To aid and abet his recommendations for nurturing and reparenting my inner child, as well as silencing the negative voices of some family members in my head, I invented an alter ego named “Clovie.” Like something out of a Saturday Night Live skit, she’s a loving but badass human sized clove of garlic who slays energy vampires. If she has to, she “fillibusters” them in order to drown out their nonsense with positive talk directed at me. It’s like emotional CPR. Clovie is the embodiment of “Do No Harm (to me). Take No Shit (from others).”
With every funny imagined scene in my head, I feel a bravery and self-love I haven’t felt before in my 57 years. Plus, I followed Crappy Childhood Fairy’s advice and joined an online CoDA weekly support group a couple months ago, which is definitely helping.
I love Clovie! Thank you for sharing.
:-D ❤ I see her!
I used to be so motivated to heal. I knew the fears I held in my childhood were not reflective of reality. My late teens and early twenties were a time of exploration and confidence, but now as I approach my thirties true reality seems to be setting in. All that time I spent convincing myself the world is actually safe is just wrong. I'm no longer afraid of others' opinion, I'm afraid of the economy, medical bills, and the banality of getting older. Facing real threats to my existence is just different
Thank you. I need to hear these messages all the time. It’s very helpful. And I don’t have to beg my husband, friends, coworkers, and strangers I run into to constantly give me positive affirmations because my Mother and siblings were only capable of constantly handing out negative messages. You’re doing so much good for the world. This is your gift, and I’m inspired.
Thanks for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy
Take care of yourself… you were created to being only what you have to this world. I know it’s hard … so, even as I write this … it’s also a way to remind me … we can do it … you can do it Give the care to yourself, you are. Beautiful creation in this word. I’m rooting for you ❤❤❤
@@tinam761 Thank you and you too ❤️
The daily practice has helped me so immensely. I have now taught my teen daughter and it’s now our daily routine together. I’m so grateful thank you 🙏
Wonderful! Thanks for listening. -Calista@TeamFairy
I've been in therapy for over a year. Yes, I have brain damage and PTSD rules my life. But I can't get any answers from my therapist or doctors. I present well, yes, but my brain is on constant repetitive replay. I can't get back into life. I'm afraid of people, driving, food, sleep, taking a walk, riding my bike, everything and anything. Anything can trigger a fear response and my head will not turn off. Now, I just wasted 11 minutes waiting for you to get to the point. Thank you, Crappy Fairy.
Anna mentioned FEAR is the #1 of 8 reasons for the CPTSD struggle … Does she mention the other 7 anywhere, or are those videos coming? Thank you Anna, a million times, for your service to helping us with this terrible condition … It’s truly saving my life!❤️Blessings to you!
That’s the vid you are looking for. I think
I fear for all......at 67 I am sad all the time these days. God has gotten me this far, but, nowadays it just comes everywhere now. I have other coping skills also but it is easier to avoid others these days.
Im to old, to fat, to ill (M.E.), to unlikeable, to easy to dismiss, to invisible, to used, to easy to fob off, to easy to hurt, asshole magnet, people randomly be rude or nasty for NO reason (i know cause i was a customer).
Let down by mental health professionals, one chastised me n said I needed to get my anxiety under control b4 doing trauma work, then put in my file that I ‘was fine’ n didnt get another appt for 1yr!
Just saw a diff woman who said some beliefs r just too ingrained to be fixed. Dismissed my symptoms and told me off for not practising techniques i was taught!! I was taught these pre covid!! Lock down stopped everything! I was too stunned to remember. She said she send me a follow up appt n turns out it is for Feb 23!
My anger is only thing that keeps me going, really dont think im gonny make it, they don’t seem to get it or want to get it. Im easy to dismiss, im just too tired to keep fighting much longer. Need to stay for my gorgeous kid but don’t know how.
I watch u n Patrick T n have a glimmer of hope. I will try. Thank god for u guys 💜💜🦇
My fear of judgement leads me to paranoia then anxiety then disregulation, this then makes me struggle with any fine motorskill, basic reading and arithmetic. I always thought i Was just "broken". Funny how much damage can be caused by neglect. Thank you for offering a possible solution, I am procrastinating, but I will try it
God bless you and your team.
Thanks for listening!
-Cara@TeamFairy
So I had just made my daily video diary which i never share with anyone, in which I was sobbing horrifically… then I was pulling archetype cards to try and sense into how I could help myself… and got a card about not being trapped in fear. At that moment, your video just popped into my feed in the background.
I am so incredibly afraid and feel so alone, but have been hiding it. And I yelled out loud, THANK YOU Anna!!!
I’ve been holding this in way too long. No idea how to go forward, but thanks for the sign.
One way forward is to try the techniques I teach -- The Daily Practice. It's free: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
I just now took your free Daily Practice Course. It was easy to sign up. I just provided my email and a password. I saw the link in my inbox seconds after. I know this sounds like a commercial :-D
I just want to thank you for providing it and making it so simple to access. Thank you very much.
I will start putting it into practice today, 6 Oct. 2022. The part about repeating a word for 20 minute is not for me, but the idea of praying for that long is.
Thank you again. Hugs!!
Sara
Glad you signed up and it was an easy process for you. Sending you encouragement as you put it in practice! - Ashley, Team Fairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you 🙂
Thank you for this platform, it’s really going to change my life…I discovered you a few days ago and you’ve brought so much hope for healing ❤
So glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
Your advice is golden. Thank you for suggesting CoDA!! It has been a life changing journey!
Only one who has lived through, and learned from, childhood trauma can easily communicate how to get past it. You are authentic, sincere, and a treasure!
Aw, thanks!
Lately my brain has been so terrified of (more) disappointment that it's been stuffing me with despair just to convince me to quit while I'm ahead, to avoid more hurt to itself. I had a really crushing episode of this despair today, and I wondered if, since it's most likely fear-based, I should try to battle that despair with feelings of SAFETY (rather than hope or such). Interesting that this video also came out today. :)
Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
This is me word for word…In terrified…but feels good to hear someone else put it inti words💜
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you, I really appreciate that. :')
@@daria46 I hear you; I'm terrified of everything. :'D The parts of our brains/nervous systems that are making us terrified are trying to protect us. I'm trying to gently explain to mine why it's not working, ha. I'm glad if you could take something postitive from my comment.
@@tamsintarshish3905 Thank you.
My default mode. Anxiety....
My safe person, (when I was a kid) was my gram who now has end stage Alzheimer’s. Our last call she told me I am pathetic & pitiful. Have C-PTSD & her words still hurt. Trying not to fear that this is what others are too polite to say, but feel.
Someone finally understood my fears
She is really a gift to me! Thank you, Anna. I have tried this and it works! When i feel crappy its usually when i dont practice this!! Love to Anna. It does work.❤❤❤❤
Yoda was right…”Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Oh my god this is SO VALUABLE!!❤️❤️❤️
We're not broken we're just wounded❤
9:53 the daily practice
I have actually had 2 Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBIs)..1 from my molestation at age 12 and 1 from a bad car accident at age 26..
I hope you find a way to recover and lead a happy life
~Thank you for distinguishing the type of fear from actual danger, from psychological type fear!~Im always trying to point out that difference, and ive never seen anyone else do that!~And by the way, i have lots of rattlesnakes where i live...ha ha~Thank you Anna, you are such a huge stabilizer in my life!!!~♡~
This is one definitely needed Thanks fairy god bless you for your wonderful work and time you share with us
You are so welcome
Your knob for tears work AWS for me!!! Thanks
I most definitely understand the fear... It has caused me to overreact many times ... I'm working hard in therapy and am on meds that have improved my fear and I'm slowly improving despite still relapsing at times...
I am not fearful, but I feel fear or anxiety.
I can relate to your experience: acting confident, being funny and witty, but having a false bravado.
The scriptures says: "for God has not giving us the "spirit" of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind."
If God has not giving us humans a fearful demeanor, then who did?
Well said!❤❤
Thank you for this. This one was like you're talking directly to me. Wow.
If it was bad enough one get broken. Therapy would probably work- if I could afford it. I'll try this.
Watching this caused me to feel fear because it brings it to the surface. But that's ok, this video is extremely helpful.
Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you, its so reaffirming to hear I'm not alone in this experience, you are a gift to us all 💝
Fear. I want to be normal. I am not my TRAUMA. AMAZING!!!
You might consider giving one little de escalation trick for free and right away on the the ad. Itself, it would feel really gratifying for new clients, and inspire them to dig deep into the links and courses.... I do think you're onto what I'm struggling with, and I thank you for identifying it
I have cptsd. And you made me understand so much about myself and Why i act and think the way i do. More than any terapist have. I think i will have to understand to Get better. Thank you❤
I don't wanna be afraid of people anymore
Fear runs my life.
💥💥💥💥💥 i know. when ever i start healing, a new trauma appears, and i find my self right there from where i started 💥💥💥 how can i protect my self by continuous bombardment of traumas.....😢😢😢😢
I know what you're saying. The trick is to strengthen yourself - not in a burst but through a daily support. That's why I'm ALWAYS talking about this Daily Practice. There's no way to experience it but to give it a try. It can strengthen you -- make you able to "surf" the waves of the hard things that always come.
I thank you for this. Bless you for the work you do.
Thanks for listening! -Calista@TeamFairy
This made my scared self even scarier, because I don't know how to do it...
Do you really need to go through your entire traumatic childhood? Can't you just forgive what has happened?
Your Buddha nature is so strong! Do you know famous monk Thich Nhat Han on UA-cam?
Thank you for the video. When we grow up in chaos with physically and emotionally abusive parents , you seem to be in a constant fog or frozen in reaction to our constant anxiety. I have found little on feeling safe due to past physical abuse.
Thank you for watching!
Nika@TeamFairy
Yes
The only thing that worked for me. Thank you so much!!
Thanks for listening! -Calista@TeamFairy
God bless you 🙏🏽 Thank you so much for what you do!❤
This is such an important video. Thanks so much, Crappy Childhood Fairy and Team!
You are so welcome!
Its true, it takes a short and a long time at the same time. For example just watching one of your videos the other day where you said the first thing to do is acknowledge that I'm having an emotional reaction, I applied that and it worked for the day or part of it anyway but then I went back in the state of fear that just makes me feel one step away from blowing it up all :(
This resonates with me so much.
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
Awesome stuff sooooooooo useful
Crippling fear😢
So true. Very important
Thank you so much. I recently ended a loving relationship because of this irrational fear of being abused.
Exactly, peoples faces looking at me like ive 2 heads n I have no clue what i said or done or was it my face?
“Well just stop being so insecure and worrying about what others might think of you! Can’t you see all of us on the other side who are so much better now even though we used to be just like you?! Stop letting your life pass you by and be healthy like us!” 🙄
If I am EVER, EVER in a position in life where people want to actually listen to my journey to healing (It’s currently partial healing) I will make certain that people not only hear that it’s at least possible to get over some of these obstacles, but ALSO, that it’s completely understandable that I’m still stuck based on what I’ve been through and that my neural pathways, perceptions, and coping mechanisms for survival mode are as deep as the Grand Canyon.
Your videos have helped me so much I want to thank you
glad they have helped, were cheering for you. Jack@teamfairy
Amazing thank you
Thanks for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy
I’m going through a lot of fear since divorce, losing my grandma and losing my pet. I’m living with my parents who are narcissist and I’m a empath highly sensitive. I’m very highly sensitive I stay in my bedroom spend time with alone. I’m having so much anxiety and fear. I was doing so well until my grandma died an and my pet was dying had to see her suffer and put her to sleep. No one in my family helps me out because they’re narcissist. I don’t know how to handle people who aren’t sweet loving empath like me. I love lord and I have a hard time being near people who aren’t so empathetic like me. I was stalk in Virginia I still carry that fear as well. I want be strong and not carry fear. My parents were there for me as a child I had to raise myself. My parents still aren’t there for me they are narcissist and can be so mean and selfish don’t like to help me at all but want me to help them. They are so mean and criticize me a lot.
We're here to support you!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you🤔☺️
I can relate 100%
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you
You Rock!
Thanks for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy
Is it possible that one child gets ptsd living in the same circumstances and the other sibling doesn't?
Yes. Often.
My fear isn’t from my childhood I don’t think, I had both parents and had a good relationship with both my fear is what is going to happen tomorrow
Worrying about what if this happens or that and I’m so tired of living with this every day
The fear is more like what am I going to have to deal with next
But thanks for sharing this video it’s very helpful ❤
I want to commit to your daily method but I started it a while back and all it did was flood me with more fear and feel even more helpless and hopeless. Sometimes I dont even know what my fear is really since my ego says I dont have any. Obviously I do since I hate leaving the house without sunglasses and headphones. I just dont know how to meditate after seeing all the fears written down...
Why not come to one of the calls I lead twice a month? You can learn it better there. You can also book individual coaching with cara, or take the Advanced Daily Practice coaching program, which will begin Oct 30 (not on our website yet).
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I will look on your website, thank you
I suffer from the kind of fear you're talking about in this video, but I also have strange phobias... I remember a video where you talked about having a childhood fear of dripping water. My phobias are similar, but they've stayed with me lifelong. I would appreciate a video about phobias if possible.
JESUS Christ has made me free from fear- i still have challenges with the symptoms of CPTSD, I also have TBI from thr head blows when I was beaten.. so I wonder if you have any info on CPTSD along with TBI, it has been very painful
A low level, nonstop anxiety with no specific origin. At least 1 anxiety attack per day, sometimes more. Every morning while waking up, without fail. So sick of it.
Hope Anna's content will bring you tools to heal. We're all rooting for you!
Nika@TeamFairy
Already been alone for ever.. Makes sense like, "Boost my immune system"? Its already trying to kill me too
hm... but where is this video " the daily practice" in the description you are talking about? what link is it?
bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
The answer is not in the video, you ll have to enrole in the link below: daily practise.
So which link is the exercise to use?? Please and thank you
Hey Anna I was a punk kid too! I saw that you got rid of all the negative songs so no more punk rock? 😅
God no.
Hi! Long-time subscriber. 🙂 I just had a conversation with a friend that CPTSD means Childhood PTSD and not (what she has heard for a few years in treatment) "Complex" PTSD. I can see how they might mean the same thing, but could it be a regional (language) difference?
They're not really the same thing. CPTSD is complex PTSD, and that's a clinical term most people don't know. It can come from any chronic, intense stress, but most usually it's from childhood. My channel is focused on people with a Crappy Childhood, who may indeed have CPTSD but I use the coloquial "childhood PTSD" because everyone knows what that means, it it sounds more descriptive, less diagnostic!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Aaah, okay; thank you very much. 💛
The living in fantasy she talking about it is actually reality and the reality is fantasy. I was contuenestly being hurt growing up because i was hurt before. So its real
Hey, do the first few links not work for anyone else? Thanks for your efforts CCF!
The links work when I test them. It may be your browser? Try another browser, or incognito mode, or a different device.
Hi, try the free one to jump on. I think the others might be blocked in that format because we’d hve to pay for that level of access. Hope that helps 💜
@@elench257 Yup! That's what happened ty
Signed up and got a confirmation mail of my "purchase" of this for 0$ but unlike what it sais on the website the mail didn't include any actual informations?!
Have you found it? Go to the actual website if the links in your email don't work. Signing up gives you access to 4 training videos and makes you eligible for bimonthly group calls where you can learn more about it from Anna and other participants. You can always ask the team for support if the tech isn't working right. Good luck!
No I don't understand you
processing disorders, undiagnosed. Newly sober ,feeling the 'joy' of
what I've been avoiding since diapers - feeling.. And I'm still keeping the impenetrable walls in place. No safety. Anywhere.
not sure which link to click to find these videos...
I don't understand...which link takes me to the video which teaches me to overcome fear...there's so many links :(
The course called "The Daily Practice". It's linked directly under all my videos. You can also find it yourself on my website crappychildhoodfairy.com. It's available on the Free Tools page and on the Courses page.
Please help me
I just stopped participating. Just like someone gave me a shot of common sense I stead of the usual adrenaline. I am/was the most reactive, being the scapegoat, and it hit me that their approval or acknowledged wrongs were intangible things. I accepted it would never come and it set my head free. I'm 47 and I'm grieving the sh*t sandwich my brother and I were fed so I can move on.
My grandma was my safe haven but she passed away. I try dating but the stabbed me in the back I’m to kind. I attract narcissists.
It seems like everyone in this city has something to say about my brain issues. I have a stalker who never stops hurting me, stealing my writing, and all my things. If l call a mental health line,they ask if I am going to kill myself. If l say yes, out comes the ambulance and off l go. If l say no, they get off the phone and tell me to get therapy. Because this happened to me late in life, my best friends are in other places or dead. Because my parents and family kept everything from me, l can't respect them because they all lied to me. I have always been treated as different, and left alone. I have so many things l should be doing a daily practice for . But l do the best l can. For years after l found out, l felt so unloved because no one cared enough to tell me about my childhood trauma. I was so disliked no one told me untill I remembered. In the background my only sibling is getting his ass kissed eventho he stole vast amounts of money from me ; along with his wife and her first husband ( who is also my stalker). Yes my sister Karen was in on it too. I can't remember someone who wasn't. So my life has been stolen from me too. Yet some people tell me, l did something wrong. If l sinned it was from not being told about my childhood trauma. This has been the cherry on my 💩sandwich. Yes, l do want to have friends again, but with all the hate going around it is so hard to trust. It's just not fun knowing how thin trust issues are. My family just makes fun of me. Why would l want to be around that type of energy? It's sad, but it's just the way l have lived because no would tell me the truth. Thank you for your help and kindness while l try to understand destiny of my childhood trauma.
Where is the link?
In the description section. If you tried and it didn't work, please try again -- we had an issue the last couple days!