8 Etiquette Mistakes You Make DAILY (& How to Avoid Them)
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- Опубліковано 5 чер 2024
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00:00 Etiquette Mistakes Introduction
Being a gentleman today no longer requires governing your life according to outdated social norms and conventions, putting forth an effort to make others feel appreciated and comfortable remains a hallmark of modern gentlemanly behavior and the most important rule of etiquette.
00:59 8 Etiquette Mistakes: 1. Appearing to Ignore Others
02:27 2. Talking on Speakerphone in Public
03:55 3. Misunderstanding Door-Holding Etiquette
05:24 4. Not Introducing Yourself or Others
07:26 5. Misunderstanding Handshake Etiquette
09:35 6. Unhygienic Conduct and Contact
10:47 7. Not Expressing Thanks
11:59 8. Being a Stickler for Etiquette
Of the eight etiquette mistakes that we highlighted, which do you find most upsetting? Let us know in the comments!
14:05 Outfit Rundown
#etiquette #mistakes #notsponsored - Навчання та стиль
In my opinion, "outdated" social norms helped the gentleman. Because they were rigid and strict, there was not much room for error, which made it easy to follow them.
Exactly.
Agreed
I don't offer my hand to a woman. She offers me her hand, or she doesn't. That's the way I've always known it. Nowadays, I don't know if that's considered offensive, or not.
@@Erik_Swiger Better safe than sorry
They made sense in their time, now they don't. Why would you follow an inconvenient senseless rule?
I completely agree with the first mistake, when someone ignores you, it makes you feel bad or worthless and not worthy for a conversation...
Having grown up in the South, in a family that were sticklers for certain old school etiquette, most of it comes naturally to me, and I find it uncomfortable to *not* observe certain norms. One of them is standing upon someone new entering the room, or when a woman leaves/arrives at the table. I sometimes get funny looks when I stand as my wife gets up to go to the ladies room, but she appreciates it. And I still fear my grandmother reaching from the grave and slapping me upside the head if I didn't.
Agreed. Having been born in NC and lived in the south a majority of my life these rules flow well with how the south works. The unfortunate issue is having also lived in the land of Yankees and now Alaska those norms aren't followed anywear near (if at all) to how we do it down south so it might be more of a time and place thing.
Having grown up on the West Coast and having been previously engaged to a woman from the South, it came as a bit of a shock to me that all the kids referred to their elders as Sir and Ma'am; I always referred to my parents as Mom and Dad. When Dad would introduce me to his Model T Club friends, he'd say something like, "Spencer, this is my friend, Mr. Gordon," and as I would shake Mr. Gordon's hand, he'd say something like, "Hi Spencer! Call me 'Jim'!" The cultural differences throughout the United States alone fascinates me, but I am glad that etiquette still has the same impact on others no matter where one might be in the nation. So long as good etiquette is still being taught, it is never truly dead 😊
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The only setting that I’d shake a woman’s hand in is at the office. In social settings, I don’t do any physical contact unless they initiate
A certain family member spends entire family holidays and events doom-scrolling on his phone, taking calls, watching videos, etc. He recently hurt the feelings of a small child that openly asked why he was ignoring her 8th birthday party with his phone. I personally loved her calling him out and he was mortified.
When the opportunity arises to shake someone’s hand after visiting the bathroom, I always refuse & explain that I have just washed my hands… the look is always appreciated…
I once attended a lecture by the CEO of a former employer on the theme of "Servant Leadership". Afterwards, i picked up my laptop and water bottle and came to a door where he and another C-level exec were standing engaged in coversation. Despite having my hands full they completely blanked me and i had to set the laptop down on the floor to open the door. Talk about irony! 😂
It is both amazing and sad how much you can stand out in a positive light these days by simply keeping your phone away when with other people.
Completely agree. It is quite unfortunately to see how addicted people are to thier phone nowadays. I'm guilty of it too, sometimes.
Introducing people you know to each other is very important. It's a sign of respect. I have been in countless situations where I was out with a friend or partner and he/she met someone I didn't know. I always thought it was rude if my friend/partner didn't introduce me and the other person to each other.
I like how Eb walks up to Jack like "have THIS, you petulant knave!" and then Jack just has this look of "Oh bother, what an inconvenience" after the slap. 🤣
It's like you were on set when we filmed this! 🤣
I find myself wanting to make people remove their hats when indoors. One day, I hope to be able to enforce that rule.
One related thing which I find a touch rude or at least odd, is when I open the door for a man (because I'm ideally positioned to do so as he is about to leave or enter), and he responds by trying to switch our positions; ie, instead of going through the door, he grabs the door so it is now he holding it open for me.
Yeah, I never understood people who do that, because it kind of negates the whole point of holding the door open for them when they're going to hold it themselves. I get that it is a polite and courteous thing to do in concept, but its execution is more awkward than pleasant.
I don't view that as rude, because I think typically he's just trying to return the politeness, but it can be awkward. I think it's usually just best to say thank you and step through the door.
An astute observation!
@@mph7282thank you for this distillation! May I posit this? In that situation, I often attempt to become the ‘new temporary doorman’ which I was unaware would be seen as improper except in very particular circumstances. I can effectively sum up my attitude towards it as “we are all people moving about, it’s generally polite to queue, and it’s easier to not open an opened door (aka simply pass through the doorway) than it is to open a door”. It’s like, metaphorically, it costs me a penny in energy to open a door, half a penny to prop it in some way with my body for X time, and nothing to pass through. I was a good boy if I saved another person their own ‘toll’, and contributed towards efficiency still if they then also become the door person , joyously, for a moment. How do y’all view that?
It might not be exactly what you mean, but when entering a train compartment to hold open the door until the person after you takes over, and they will do the same for the one after that.
In other situations I think it only feels natural or normal to hold it open is when I'm already entering or exiting a doorway to hold it open for the next person and not slam it shut in their faces.
A great video! Here are some thoughts.
I think a particularly egregious bit of rudeness is chewing with one's mouth open. This goes beyond basic table manner no-nos, as many people in the modern era (both my cousin and myself included) can't stand chewing noises. It's a rather common version of a thing called misophonia.
Honking right when a light turns green will always be bad etiquette. I feel as though driving etiquette is rarely talked about.
I actually do sometimes double back to hold the door for people because it makes me feel nice - but I do it for men and women alike.
I'm going to talk about a social no-no here. When one needs to pass gas, it it always best for them to excuse themselves to the restroom - whether at the dinner table or not. If gas is passed, making jokes about it just makes it worse. Please don't be Shrek.
Speaking of going to the restroom, just say, "I'll be right back" or "Excuse me for a moment, please." No elaboration is needed for these things unless someone asks.
Especially the eating while talking! I'm born hard of hearing so the mouth is always the default position. Whenever someone does this, it make me uncomfortable so I would quickly try to end the conversation as to not have to see whatever they're chewing on
My wife and I make it a habit to always make a hand made card for someone who hosted an event or dinner with us. Most people are extremely grateful to see someone acknowledge the deeds they do. It also worms our hearts to express our gratitude.
warms*
Bearded Preston is a nice look.
Well done . I myself really struggle with Nbr 8. My English grandmother was an absolute stickler for etiquette and manners.
This video has been sorely needed for quite some time. Thank you, GG.
Keep making more and more of such ettiquete videos🎉
1:18 So desperately trying to find that field jacket. It's too clean!!
Etiquette Mistakes in a date. Great idea for a video.
Excellent suggestion!
I love the Batman references, Miss Kyle, Mr Cobblepot!
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Very entraining video. Love the cat ladies reference.
People with their phone volume turned all the way up in a public setting is a huge one, especially when I’m at work. Even though I realize some people may not realize how distracting it is, it comes off as extremely rude. Nobody wants to hear you scrolling through TikTok when they’re trying to concentrate
A gentleman goes to a bar or a home bar series would be neat! Both going out and hosting and staying in with bars/bartending has lots of etiquette!
Thank you. That's a short but nice update on some etiquette practices.
I need to stop taking calls in public. Thank you for the reminder!
Informative & helpful. Thank you.
I think in the dropping of outdated social norms we may have over corrected.
Overly rigid rules of behavior were never gentlemanly nor polite but neither is their absence.
Ahhh...but for the olden times, how do you deifine "overly" rigid? You can't base that on today's standards.
Thank You for the Video 😀
Thank you for your support!
Thank you for this video!
We should teach this to our youth. A class on etiquette is most definitely needed for teens in high school
Loudspeaking is the bane of modern times. Sometimes it takes me about 30 minutes to commute and there's often one person who keeps on chatting via loudspeaking mode all the way long. That's so exasperating! Personally, I love long phone calls but I never use loudspeaker unless I'm at home alone and if I'm outside I only have long conversations somewhere far from public spaces, like in the park or some lonesome lanes. Speaking out your private life is appalling, and some individuals even go as far as having a huge argument on the phone somewhere at the bus stop.
Almost forgot etiquette #1 - thumbs up. Small reward for value received.
Love that you used the Batman The TellTale series version of "miss Kyle"
We have a fair few Batman fans on the team!
@@gentlemansgazette Well I sure do hope they've all played TellTale Game's adaptation! It's quite wonderful!
Nice. I’m a big Batman fan too. Keep up the great content!
i love everyone of these videos
Good video.
The cell phone in public tops my list of rude behavior, including the use of a headset that only makes the speaker appear to be yelling to himself.
The speaker phone thing drives me nuts! There are even people in London who think watching UA-cam videos without earbuds is acceptable! What I always want to know is: how does the person on the other end feel about having their conversation broadcast? Do they even know they are on loudspeaker? And what does it mean for their privacy? Back in the day, I worked with people who made a point of asking to be taken off loudspeaker before holding a conversation. Modern mobile phones have perfectly adequate ear pieces. People should use them!
Being late is perhaps a different subject. I do believe it is understandable to be late at times, very hard to be on time always, but to arrive late without an effort to apologize to those who have waited for you, or to show a blasé or cavalier attitude about tardiness is not very good manners in my opinion.
I seem to overdo holding doors for others..lol..just trying to be nice and a gentleman ❤
It's do unto others ... but you know today many think you're just their servant or a sucker. Sad times and people. Courtesy is just not recognized for what it is in our multi-cultural countries. .
Thanks for calling out speakerphone use in public. Drives me INSANE
It seems a shame. I feel everyone should read Emily Post’s Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home. My grandmother raised me to be a proper gentleman. My uncle Tex introduced me Emily’s book from 1922. As I read it reaffirmed everything my grandmother taught me. People of today have forgotten all the rules of proper behavior.
3:14 no way you guys used that scream 😂
The talking on the phone in public is my most hated break in etiquette
I need a video from Preston on how to wear my neckties as a belt. Please, I'm a bow tie wearer, and I need to put my neckties to good use.😢
Check out Fred Astaire movies
Yes!
13:04 God, I have being doing this for the whole last school year! Should I keep doing this since people would notice if I stop? Or what?
You look good with the beard growth. It’s nicely trimmed.
I have an idea I want to make video about and it’s about equestrian etiquette, we combine traditions with suits, tailcoats, stock ties and written rules :)
Apologies if the question sounds a bit idiotic but are Tatersall and Microgrid considered the same pattern or are they slightly different? I have a Blue on White background Microgrid Dress shirt currently so I'm really curious. I appreciate the content as always.
This guide should explain everything you need to know! www.gentlemansgazette.com/grids-plaids-windowpanes/?
I'm not sure if this would qualify or even come under the category of proper etiquette, but I've been told that whenever a man and a woman are walking down the sidewalk in a metropolitan area with heavy traffic, the man should always walk on the side closest to the curb
One of the funniest and most harmless pranks that exists on social media is "holding door too early." Of you haven't seen it, check it out, it hilarious 😅
Question: is holding/grabbing/patting someone's elbow or bicep whilst shaking hands patronizing?
Wait, guys actually DO these things?? "Raised in a barn" is a phrase that really should come back. The key really boils down to "stop thinking only of yourself".
Shaking hands etiquette, I've noticed, varies from place to place. Some people only shake hands when they first meet, whereas other people shake hands every time they meet.
Shaking hands with women is also interesting. Personally, I tend to shake a woman's hand when I'm first introduced to her, but the next times I meet her there's no hand shaking. A short hug is usually more common.
I can't NOT open doors for other people. I open doors for women, yes, but also for other men approaching, and especially I will wait and hold a door or elevator even longer for anyone pushing a stroller, carrying something, using a cane, or who appears to otherwise need assistance. Yes, I've been screamed at by several women for opening a door for them. (I simply shrug and close it again, in front of them.) No, the rudeness of a few isn't ever going to make me stop being kind to others.
Very Sofishticated!
It would be great to see a video on funeral etiquette and wedding etiquette. At both of these occasions guests are either dressed like slobs (disrespectful), wearing business attire, or sometimes over dressed (looking like a funeral home employee or groomsman). Any etiquette tips for these events would be wonderful!
I believe they have done both of those videos in the past.
Makes me wonder what was whispered in Nikki's ear re: the future
I'm autistic and the point on seeming to ignore someone is something I've struggled even after all the work I put into it. However, I'm 100% paying attention but I'm focused on not losing their voice in the room as I hear the water in the pipes and 60 cycle hum of electricity (even worse if it's loud due to a largr group of people) and the moment I look at the person's eyes, I lose track. Either that or I stare perpetually at their eyes, and that option didn't have favorable results.
One time I shared some very personal information on the phone. My friend then told me I was on speaker phone.
9:25 Funniest moment by far
Our editors have a wicked sense of humor!
(Jack & Eb were also happy to film this moment 😅)
5:47 that poor button hanging on for dear life... 😨 Ok here's one for you regarding door opening etiquette. At my uni it often happens that if I'm leaving and I see/hear someone behind me, I hold the door open for them. The problems is that sometimes that person is followed by and entire classroom (or several classrooms) of people, so I find myself in a situation where I'm literally holding the door open for over a minute while a huge stream of people comes out, not one of them saying 'thanks' nor offering to hold the door themselves.
I don't know if it's only me but when someone is holding a door for me, I find it natural to think that if I'm not the only person going through, I should take on their 'door holding duties' and that the next person should do the same. Does anyone else feel the same way?
smartphone use has to be treated the same as cigarette use.
The gloves thing is really important in eastern Europe.
It does not matter how cold it gets you take your glove off to shake hands.
Even though i lived most of my live in Germany and feel mosly German, i refuse to shake the hand of anybody who doesnt take his gloves off. Its just disrespectful to me.
The cell phone speaker problem is the most unbearbeitet mistake to me. Unfortunately this misbehaviour is increasing.
3:13 I’m crying this is so funny…
I don't know if it's just me but I simply loathe the high-five nonsense. Shaking hands is great or if one is acknowledging an achievement a simple word of congratulation is in order, but please - no high-fives!
The basics of standing up to shake someones hand should not be forgotten. No matter high you are in socioeconomic ladder and how low the opposite party is.
I want to know what Preston’s etiquette is
I think there is no such thing as outdated etiquette and rules for a gentleman,and i also think that a gentleman should always follow them no matter what.
Shaking womens hands is so important! When I was younger I went to a party and one of the guests introduced himself to a group and skipped over the women to only shake the mens hands. The woman in the group had to basically force him to shake her hand. The next morning after the host mentioned strongly considering dropping this guy cuz of the types of jokes he made I told him about the hand shaking incident. That was all he needed to decide this guy was never going be even an aquaintance.
I like Preston’s beard. Why’d you decide to grow one?
Lol @ 4:45 😂
If someone doesn’t want to shake hands, obviously one needs to respect that, but …….it’s weird.
I disagree on the speaker phone thing, if I put my phone to my ear it burns and I get a headache, I will always remove myself to out doors when taking a call anyhow.
Always hold the door open for anyone.
Not responding to emails! Which gentleman’s gazette is guilty off
Office etiquette episode?
Elbow bumps are just the worst
13:33 Wow, Raphael going Gopnik style, didn't expect that!
I think learning some classic nightclub etiquette would make going out in the evenings to bars and meeting people my age (mid-20's) a lot easier, in the sense that things generally tend to be easier when one has a list of guidelines to follow 😅
I found that i always made Friends at Work or School. Thats just works for me though. Regarding your Comment i think classic rules an norms dont really apply to a Nightclub.
1st. Take this Internet!
God, that #2 was so overdue... I qualify speaking on speakerphone in public as "absolutely barbaric". I really don't want to hear someone's conversation - it is a handheld phone, a private device, not a boom-box. Use it as such.
Whenever I open a door, if it's a double door entrance, I always use the left door handle. Only 10% of the population is left-handed as am I. That means 90% of the rest of the population is going to use the right door handle. In this age of Covid, face masks, etc, it makes sense to use the left side. Check the next time you're at the post office. At mine, the paint on the right handle is worn off to the bare metal while the left isn't.
The types of people who need this etiquette guidance the most are often the least likely to use it.
My father is almost 80 years old. He constantly speak on the phone with the speaker blasting 😅.
To be fair, being able to consider how everyone around u feels will give u proper ettiquette
TIP: When visiting us in Japan, don't shake hands unless and until the other person extends their hand first. Simply copy their bow as best you can. (But bow once, not many times. They may 'bob' up and down.) Many Japanese have never learned to shake hands, and are embarrassed, not knowing what to do if they try.
The one thing that really annoys me are people talking from their phone on loud speaker, no one wants to hear their conversation. Also people walking around looking at their phones and not paying attention to their surroundings..
BRING. BACK. THE. INTRO.
Remember that manners and etiquette are not the dame thing. And the latter was stuff that was just made up for the sake of it
Etiquette at the dining table is a thing long lost...
Women offering their hand first is still in FULL effect
Women (ACTUAL ladies) are supposed to wear cotton gloves when extending a hand to a gentleman.
The reason should go without saying.
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To a video about Gentlemen dress code to Horse races❤
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People sneezing into their hands is so disgusting... if you're over 3 years old there's no reason to be sneezing into your hands
As a Gen X er, I thought all of these were common knowledge.
There's nothing better then a masculine gentleman out there being manually, by example
10:29 Having a functional immune system, I do not respect or pander to germophiIes.
Of course, I'm not going to sneeze directly into my hand (I've been 'swallowing my sneezes' since chiIdhood) and then try and shake someone's hand, but by the same token, if someone meets an extended hand with an attempted-fistbump, I will not acquiesce to their behavior to soothe their hypochondria; the only concession I would make, would be to raise my hand and give the ta'al (aka the Vulcan Salute, which, taken from Rabbinical practice, is itself a form of blessing) 🖖🖖🖖🖖
Remember the old saying 'give an inch and they'll take a mile: The state of the world today proves that 100% 😞😞😞😞
speaking a language that excludes someone unnecessarily is very upsetting to me.