"Why are you so quiet?" | words from a shy introvert
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- Опубліковано 25 чер 2024
- why are you so quiet? why are you so shy? why don't you speak more? i've heard all of these questions and more throughout my life. when i was younger it definitely made me feel very insecure and i felt like i needed to be more outspoken and "friendly." i know i'm not alone in feeling this way which is why i wanted to make this video. to all my quiet people, the shy ones, the introverts: you are perfectly you and you don't need to change if you don't want to. if you do want to change, don't beat yourself up and have patience! anyways, let me know your experiences: are you a generally quiet person? has it ever bothered you?
💜- moni
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Being an introvert is like being judged for sitting there and minding your own business.
Facts!!!! Agreed 💯
Same here!
Yes yes!!!!
Really
Oh my gosh yes!
The worst thing is when they constantly try to change u to an extrovert.. Like please stop please your gonna kill me
@Pelswad as a very shy introvert, I advice you to never force an introvert to do something that they're uncomfortable with. Never try to force him/her to be an extrovert.
@Pelswad same 😂
😆
Doing that only made me more introverted.
Ohh she speaks!!
Me: yeah just not to you.
xDD
Yeah I can relate
Lol I relate to that heavily
I’ll try that when someone says that next time
Yes 👏
Oh my god. I totally get you. I wish more people would understand that being an introvert is normal.. and be respectful
yes! i don't know why it's so hard for some people to understand sometimes
True true
Yes
My family makes fun of me for that...since they are all extroverts
I understand what your saying! It seems if your introverted/shy, people prejudge you without getting to know you. They act like something is wrong with you. You are who you are and you shouldn't have to change for anyone except yourself. I've gotten a little bit better over the years, but at times it still bothers me when people are always making comments about how quite you are even in the workplace. I do like people, but not in large groups and when I recharge, I like my alone time.
Growing up as introvert in extrovert society is really really tough.
extrovert are opposite of us
even if 50% introverts and 50% extroverts it feels like we are the minority
When someone ask me “why are you so quiet” then I’m done lol
Yes same
answer "I don't know" works every time for me xD
One time my friend asked me this and I told her that maybe she's just loud haha
I feel like a good response could also be "because I can".
I was always the quiet kid and most of my teachers didn't like it. Once a teacher told me to speak and I did but no one heard me so she told me to repeat it louder. I did and she yelled: "She can talk!!" and made the whole class clap for me. I felt so bad that I wanted to cry..
Some teachers are really mean to the students... Unfortunately
I can relate, it was just embarissing!
This happened to me at school too, i answered a question the teacher asked, the whole class went 'ooooh!'. Teacher starts laughing and says 'be quiet or she'll never speak again!' I just wanted to cry. I'm 40 and it still makes me cry.
Yeah That Happend to me too and I am going to school, so it also happen to me now sometimes🥺(sorry for Bad english)
One of my teachers made me do a bible reading in church in front of about 100 people. I got so anxious I messed up the reading and cried on stage. I don't think teachers have a good understanding of personality types. Either that or they just don't care.
I love to be an introvert, but I used to dislike it when I was a teenager. People made fun of me because I was quiet and not talking a lot. Now I don't care anymore, if I don't want to interact I just don't do it.
As you I overcame most of my shyness but I'm still shy and that's part of me :)
Thanks for the video✨
yes! love this energy 💜
Gotta accept it because it's amazing being introverted, but be true and be you is the best way to go😁👏🙌
“oh, you’re so quiet” “why are you so quiet?” are the phrases that i’ve heard the most in my life i think.
i still remember how in one class the teacher made a question and nobody could answer right, i knew the answer and i wanted to raise my hand but i just couldn’t. what i had in mind was indeed the right answer. and is dumb that i still remember this because it happened years ago.
i still am very quiet, but i (wanna) try to be more confident (?)
also, i always find myself rehearsing what i want to say, whether it be for something simple like a phone call or something more serious like a presentation
yes that happened to me a lot! i know the right answer but still feel so insecure and then it turns out it was indeed the right answer
Johana H dont forget that “ why dont you talk”
Ya me too "why are you so quite" "why don't you talk" " she doesn't even talk" and things like that. I too rehears things what I want to say. Is what I'm saying right? , Is the sentence formed right?
you know I am a victim of rehearsing what I say before I’ll say it ... I haven’t been in a classroom in months now so I mainly rehearse when I speak in front of family , it happens so fast and sometimes I’m not 100% aware I’m doing it and at times it gets WORSE like "I have a school presentation in front of the whole class " WORSE and sometimes (this is gonna sound so contradictory ) sometimes I don’t even practice what I’m gonna say because the practice part makes me anxious and I feel like that moment that I’m practicing is somehow displayed to everyone who will see me present ( even though it hasn’t happened yet) so I don’t practice and then I flunk the presentation ..... yes I did that once left a fat mark
Its totally my problem too
People make me feel so uncomfortable for being an introvert, but once you find people who accept you and how you are, you realize it's normal and okay. You dont have to answer to anyone.
I dont like how people keeps saying "why are u shy?" Like, its just my personality
yeah, i rlly hate how im shy and quiet these days. whenever i get comfortable and talkative around people they’ll say, “i remember how you were so shy” it’s rlly annoying.
Like bruh bich did i chose to be like that
I relate to this so much! Especially the part about rehearsing exactly what you're going to say and being a good listener/analytical. I was extremely shy and quiet growing up and everyone said I would grow out of it, but I haven't! I'm turning 25 in a few weeks and I'm more socially anxious than ever. I try to explain to people that even though actions like introducing yourself, making a phone call, or talking to a waitress seem easy or second-nature to them, they are incredibly difficult tasks for me. I think this is why I am so drawn to art (writing, illustration, filmmaking)-it's because I can use these mediums to communicate my ideas and feelings much more effectively than I am ever able to verbally.
phone calls are my worst enemy. i totally understand what you mean. i do still think people can grow out of it and change (they don't have to of course! especially if you learn to accept that that's just how you are). my mom was extremely shy, even more than me, and she told me she grew out of it when she was about 35. i couldn't believe it since to me she's always been the most friendly and outspoken person, but it is possible. that's why i think we as humans are always changing throughout our entire lives; our personalities might not be the same as they are now in 10 years time. and yes i can totally relate to being drawn to art 💜
This is me, like I saw a meme that said, “ to all the people I went to school with that called me shy or quiet. I’m not shy or quiet, I just didn’t fucking like anybody!” I felt that... It’s not like I just don’t like them not knowing them, I see the way they interact with other people and how their personality is and they were all just fake. But now being in quarantine, I feel safe in my room.😊
@@Akaashi_is_Superior I thought same way as u trought out my childhood but then I got really bored so I started activites and made new friends there
I can also relate that im too drawn to art
@@Akaashi_is_Superior same
Ever since I was a teenager i used to be so introverted and i noticed this in highschool people would come to me and ask me why I'm so quite. The question hurt me like a thorn i started blaming myself for being an introvert. But by time you grow used to it . I love being me.
i always search for these kind of videos every time someone tells me “why are you so quiet” or pointing out that im quiet. i need to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with that and i am not alone 💛
There is nothing wrong with you or other introverts! It''s so sad to read all the comments here from people with the same experience of being judged for who they are. Being introvert is just a part of who we are. When extraverts tells us often: "You are always so quite" (with an undertone) it''s just a judgement, and they don't accept you for who you are. The message is in fact: You are not good (enough) the way you are.
I've never heard myself saying into the faces of extraverts: "You are always so loud!" In my opinion it's disrespectful to say that. When we do that (often) i bet that they will feel judged and maybe will feel not good enough too. Being Introvert, Ambivert or Extraverts is totally fine! We must respect eachother!
I am 33 years old now, and my whole life i was being judged for being an Introvert, till now. Some people just don't get it!! BUT there are alot of people who appreciate my silence, calmness, introspection....They say: "You are so calm and it calms me down", "You are so calm and you take the time to say what you want to say and that really does something to me." Being in your surrounding makes me calm and relaxed" "I want to be more quite like you"
In ashrams/monasteries or people who loves self-reflection, contemplation and meditation, we introverts are greatly appreciated!! :D
Same, that's actually why I'm watching this right now
Gosh life is so hard when youre an introvert. My teacher asked me for the answer in class and its been a day but i still haven’t stopped thinking about how stupid i sounded. In my head I understand but when I speak my words are all over the place. Its makes me blush, hot and my heartbeat gets louder and louder. I hate myself! I hate how the easiest tasks are hard for me.
Aww. Thank you for explaining this. I came here to learn more about introversion and your explanation really opened my eyes. It sounds like a litte bit of fear followed up by judging yourself too harshly. The fact that you actually feel so awful about public speaking really helps me to empathize more.
You’re not alone, I’m the same way and it’s made me feel bad so many times over the years that I can’t even count them
It’s okay to not understand where we’re coming from, but I think it’s important to begin to accept it 😊 there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, we’re just all different
I’m right there with you though and still learning myself how to accept myself and the way that I am
I feel my hatred for people is because my experiences as introvert
Finally someone who i can actually relate to 😄
this sounds like you have social anxiety, not shyness or introverted.
I am a 6'6 Black Male, and I have been like this since elementary School. I don't know why I am quiet I watch alot, I can scan a room and find weakness and strength within that group. I don't even talk loud or seek confrontation unless I have to be aggressive. I tend to be alone alot but not in my mind it's a party. I Love me.
I'm the exact same way bro
My good i have a classmate that os a copy of you he is a tower but he is very quiet
I AM quiet as whell very weird on social set Ups o My good só akward hahaha
Bro I feel you. Im a tall black man and I've been quiet most of my life lol.
bro are you me? you just described my life. Thanks for sharing
Same bro
I felt every single thing that you said and totally get you. I hate myself for being a very shy introvert. People are always asking me " why are you shy?" "why can't you talk?" "Why can't you engage in this or that".... Words like that hurts me a lot. They wouldn't understand :((((
Stay strong girl. You're not alone
Fr. And when I finally try to say something, it turns out embarrassing as hell
@@ilikethoseodds.4066 exactly. If we say something, it's stupid or embarrassing. If we don't it's awkward. :(
You’re the only person I know who truly understands what it means to be quiet/introverted. I used to be much more shy in high school/ middle school, and beat myself up about it as well. However, as I got into college I realized that people didn’t care what I did anymore (because I know go to a much bigger school), so I had much more space to be who I am. I am still introverted/ quiet, but I’ve stopped beating myself so much about it. I still sometimes try to avoid small talk though like taking the stairs to avoid talking to anyone. Anyway thank you for this video!! 💜
i feel exactly the same! 💜 i do think college helped me a lot in opening up and being less shy
I STILL get criticised for being too quiet. In my job I'm supposed to be *assertive* and *strong*. But it's such a misconception that being quiet, reserved or reticent means you're not those things. We're all different. So many of us are socially anxious. You're doing great and I'm glad you feel more brave and feel like you know yourself more. i'm getting there too 💛
thanks christy 💜 i completely agree. being quiet or reserved doesn't mean you still don't have strong opinions and aren't confident
Can I talk to u?
I am working rn and my work demands me to be outgoing and talkative which I am not...from the very first day at work people realized that I am quite. And the worst part is they telling I am quite infront of a crowd..this is really eating me up...any suggestions would be appreciated
oh wow. related to everything you said. I'm 23 now but as a teenager I was horribly shy and I hated it, I hated myself. I've noticed that in the past two years i've grown a lot. I'm still introverted and I just don't have a lot to say. But i'm growing towards self-acceptance... I'm just really happy to hear you tell your story. You seem like the best type of person and I'm happy to be in the introverted club with you and so many others :)
yes introverted club!! 💜
How are you coping now though?
Ive just realised all the friends ive ever had, approached me first. Now that im in college i dont know how to make new friends and I'm tired of being the weird guy even though I'm perfectly normal.
@@kadblue2000 Spend time on library and read books, that would attract others attentions as look smarter
yes, damn I hate society, not because i'm shy I just hate
Pure Resonance. Sadly quiet people get bullied quite often. Trying to be normal to fit in to not be judged negatively is overwhelming
Are we the same person??? Omg I feel so seen!!! It's nice to see someone with a large audience talking about this!!!
Metooo
Same
i feel a lump in my throat watching this 😭❤️
love u💜
I love quiet people :) They communicate in other ways :)
I'm teary cuz I get this whole video 😢
same
The fact that you're an introvert girl making a video for UA-cam makes me believe more in myself❤
the worst part of being the quiet kid in the classroom is whenever we had visitors and for some stupid reason these person start asking open questions to the whole class, such as "who is the most this or that?" an when the question "who is the most outspoken?" comes up the asshole bully answers with the name of the quiet kid and all classroom laugh reinforcing insecurities on the quiet kid about being quiet.
I live this out. I am a teenager and very shy/introvert. Not that I'm afraid to speak nessisary I just don't have anything to say. I'd rather lock myself in a closet then have small talk.
Thank you so much for making this video. It's good to know I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this.
Same, you not alone
I’ve never heard anyone else talk about this so thank you. I’ve gotten these same questions all my life - still do and I’m 22. I never understood why it is acceptable to ask someone why they’re so quiet and yet not acceptable to ask someone why they’re so loud. I think the culture you live in has a lot to do with this topic.
I 'm also a shy introvert and I was really suffering from my shyness before 17. I always feel like a outsider in the class and people are always judging me by my personality. Now as I grow I feel like I'm more okay with it because this is who I am. I finally stopped hating myself for being shy and introvert 😊
I never came across my life to search for being quiet and shy and I found this video and I thought I was the only one. I can relate Sooooo much😭😭
Same lol just yesterday I got picked to read something off the board and everyone jumped in their seats because I read it flawlessly since I'm the "quiet one"
I find it draining to talk constantly in front of people I don't know every well. With my friends, I don't shut up lol. But growing up, people have always made me feel really bad for not being super talkative (teachers, family, etc.)
People ask if I'm mad or shy and that's unbelievably rude and it makes you not want to talk to them since they're so misinformed and disrespectful. Like that's the first thing that they'll say to me, and I try to tell them how it's wrong to ask that. Then they look at me as if I am the mean one 🤣 It's really a never-ending process
You should never feel bad or let anyone else make you feel bad about being an introvert, quiet or shy :) There's nothing wrong with being that way xx
i'm sorry you got picked on 💜 but i completely agree with your last sentence! always remember that, there's nothing wrong with being quiet
This video really resonated with me. When I started college this year, I told myself that I would speak more and socialize more with people. I still find it a struggle to articulate my thoughts when in class, even though I daydream about being able to just raise my hand and speak what's on my mind. I go to a school with lots of confident people who aren't afraid to speak up, and while that may be a positive thing, it still leaves me feeling lonely because it feels like no one really understands what it's like to be this way. Funnily enough, I'm a communication arts major. Not only am I one of the quiet students in my interpersonal communication class, but I am also the person who takes the stairs to avoid having to be the silent one in an elevator full of my outgoing classmates.
I want to be the person who can give a stranger a compliment, the student who can give her two cents to a class discussion, and the person who people won't be afraid to talk to. But thank goodness for the arts; painting, drawing, sculpting, and filmmaking really communicates my thoughts better than words can.
i feel you 💜 but don't worry and don't beat yourself up! like you said, immerse yourself in your art and through that you'll find the perfect way to communicate your feelings
I can totally relate. I’m can be socially awkward at times and by the end of the day I would be awake in the middle of the night thinking about all of the socially awkward moments in my life hahaha.
I’m usually reserved and keep to myself so much that I often eat lunch at a later time just to avoid those awkward small talks in the pantry. Not to say that I hate the people I work with, they’re great people but I sometimes don’t want to have the anxiety of thinking about talking points during lunch.
On the other hand, if I find myself in a conversation about something that I’m interested or passionate about, the awkwardness goes away.
omg same, the times i've just sat there and thought about my awkwardness lol. i wish i didn't though since it's just not worth it to spend time thinking about those things
Your pfp is buzz light year, kevin.
There was this person I was interested in and decided to talk to one day. My awkwardness that day has haunted me ever since, lol.
this is true. that question is very stressful. why dont they leave us alone
"I like people, I don't like to talk" That described me perfectly, I rather listen to someone speak than have to do small talk
I have been quiet my entire life, and I am 61 years old now. I would not change the way I am for anything. I am not insecure or shy. I just observe a lot and do not say anything. I also have a very rich inner life, read a lot, and prefer to keep my thoughts to myself. There is nothing wrong with that.
Growing up as a self-reserved/social person, has people assumed your personality because your quiet? (I had this happen to me, people would think i'm a goody-two shoes, not being aware of inapproriate things, watching certain shows/movies, etc.)
Another question: Are you extroverted at times and at times introverted?
Honestly I don't know what I'm shy, introvert or anxious person. I'm feeling so down now a days when I was in school I thought I'll be more confident in college but it didn't happen now I'm going to graduate from university in few months and started my first job but I'm still the same person. I hate when ppl ask me, "why you are so quiet?" I'm really bad in communication. Honestly it's my job probation period and they want a more out spoken, confident person. Sometimes I just think the world is not for me I want to run so far away from everyone.
I entirely know how you feel. I’m incredibly introverted. So much so that I prefer to keep to myself at almost all times. I failed most of my way through school mainly due to being unable to raise a hand and ask for help as I didn’t understand anything and felt I’d just be a bother to the class and slow everyone down because of it. It can honestly become a shackle to living life and depression went hand in hand with it for me.
I lost many friendships and even went through a phase of not speaking a single word to my father for 2 years out of nowhere. I had no control over it and didn’t even know why I couldn’t speak. I saw how much it hurt him but he loved me anyway. We have since repaired that instance in my life but to this day I still have no clue over what happened or why I acted that way.
Long story short:
Thanks for sharing your story. Always enjoy watching your vids Monika. With a smile like yours, nobody would ever think you had any struggles but everyone does and I thank you for speaking out.
You are an incredible light, plus you love anime ;) keep being a star ⭐️
i'm glad you and your father are better now!
Damn dude im in a pretty similar situation. I also speak to my parents very rarely and I dont know how to reach out and make friends in college.
@@kadblue2000 Hey man, I spent my entire adolescence fretting over my personality. I'm still a pretty quiet person but now as I approach my 30's I somehow feel more comfortable with myself.
Some things I wish I knew back when I was in college:
1. Your feelings are valid. Don't try to suppress them. They don't make you weak. They're there for a reason: they're trying to tell you something.
2. Go to therapy. You don't need to have something wrong with you to do it, and there's nothing shameful about it. It's like going to the dentist, but for your brain. It may take some time, but they'll help you understand yourself, which is an immensely important step on the path toward self-acceptance. Please make sure to find a good therapist though, since there are so many bad ones out there.
3. I wouldn't follow advice on the internet. So many people out there without credentials will tell you 'how it is' without any evidence to back up their claims. There is no substitute for therapy.
4. Please be kind to yourself. I tried to cut myself off from my emotions as a means to cope with reality. I thought I didn't need therapy and that I was just being a pussy (pardon me for the language). Little did I know that I had a traumatic childhood and that I'm actually grappling with something much bigger than just timidity.
If I knew then what I know now, I think I would've been more patient with myself. It makes total sense why I am the way I am.
Finally, you deserve to be kind to yourself, and you deserve to be loved. It might be hard for you to believe if you're anything like me, but you are both lovable and likable. I wish you the very best.
The few friends I make online or irl all are extroverts and that really adds on to feeling insecure about being shy and quiet. I just wonder why I just can't be like them. But I can relate to this on so many levels, thanks so much for this video 💜
I am still quiet, shy and introverted but I think i became less shy and quiet when I was given a student leader in primary school. I was confused as to why I got a student leader but I feel like the teachers wanted me to express myself more. Going into high school, I was still quiet and shy but I realised that I found friends easily and it wasn't that bad for me. But even this day, I just cannot do casual conversation but just makes me awkward and sometimes I just feel like embarrassed after the interaction. Yeah a lot of people still ask me why am I so quiet but it really depemds on who i am around. My close friends don't think i am quiet AT ALL. A teacher was once telling them how quiet I was and they were No! She is not quiet! 😂 so yeah it depends on who i am around
same with me, i'm 21 and still always feeling nervous when speaking in front of public, i'm bodies getting shaking and just wanna run away quickly LOL so uncomfortable. thank you for making this video, you remind me that i'm not alone, and you're not the only one who feel that to, we are not weird :)
hi everyone 💜 thank you so much for sharing all of your experiences! i'm currently trying to answer and reply back to everyone. I do want to recommend a movie if you guys haven't watched it, it's Eighth Grade by Bo Burnham. I identified with the main character SO MUCH. It's about a girl who is in middle school and she is known for being the quiet one. She is trying to find her own voice and even makes little youtube videos. If you haven't watched it I really recommend it!
Hiii.... what ar u doing now?
I know exactly what ur talking bout I know that uncomfortableness that you feel in your chest when you feel akward during little small talk that goes awkward quiet it sucks I hate it
I will watch it
You are right in all that you have said am just one of those that don't say much and I love your videos
I've watched many videos on being an introvert and how they(we) feel but this one is the best, i could relate to every single word you've said! As a person who has mild form of depression and huge anxiety in combination with being an introvert and shy i can say that i have the worst combination of personality and mental conditions when it comes to having to talk to people and it is really hard and exhausting. I don't hate being an introvert but i wish i could handle those small talks when needed, so i don't have to go through "why are you so quiet" questions every single time. Because when i get asked that, i become even more quiet.
In my senior year of high school, I was in a creative writing class. At the end of the semester the teacher wrote a poem for the class and every student got a line written about them. Mine was “Jason sat in silence, he had no words to waste.” He knew I had words; I completed every writing assignment.
I still think about that 33 years later.
I'd consider myself an introvert, because I become really quite when I'm with people that I'm not very close to. But I can also be an extrovert whenever I'm with my close friends and I even say jokes or is always in the spotlight when I'm with them. I guess it just depends on who I am with. I can also be extremely shy, although I will always say what I want to say especially in class or if I want to say something to someone. Whenever I'm so confident about being outspoken or showing myself in front of a crowd, I'd really get embarrassed and regretful right after. Confused- that's how I feel about my whole personality. Maybe I'm not the only one or am I?
Wait me too ,that happened to me too 😄
I'm actually pretty talkative with certain people. But with others, I'm quiet. And I'm okay with it. I just hate others pointing it out all the time and seeing it as a flaw. Just the other day I got told by my boss "you're a good girl, but you're way too shy." I'm not shy, I'm just quiet with some people. Sometimes I just wanna be in my own thoughts and not talk to others. It doesn't make it a flaw smh
At times when I'm alone, I think to myself "yeah I'm beautiful, I'm perfect, don't let other people get in the way, don't think about other people's judgement!" And then there are times when I feel like the most awkward and unwanted person on the earth...it's like my zodiac(leo) personality and MBTI(INFP) personality contradict each other. It feels like I'm both and none at the same time. And then whenever I try to speak with not so familiar people, I can feel myself quiver and hear my voice like somebody put a vibrato filter on it. It's just that face to face talk is so hard for me but I can talk perfectly well and even better while I'm texting with BASICALLY ANYONE.
And we'll that was me ranting about things cause I just had a meeting with 80 members who I hadn't talked to even once but I had to say something cause they called my name but the response was so meager to what I said that I started overthinking whether they like me or not🥺
I'm a extrovert with social anxiety
so I understand a lot of the things that you said
I really like talking to people, but I get so nervous, is really frustanting
in 2 days is my graduation, and I have to give a speech
I've been practicing for a week now and I still don't feel ready
last time I spoke in front of people I cried so much
I was shaking a lot and I almost fainted
I don't know how to just talk
I think so much about it
I very much understand where you're coming from, because i can relate.
My former congregation helped me to make myself more bold. I gave bible readings, and talks in front of the whole congregation. But i started off with just the B school, which was just a small fraction of the congregation.
will you have a paper that you will be reading from? try to concentrate just on the paper and in reading the words. i'm not good at public speaking but the times i've done it i've been so nervous beforehand, but find that once i'm in the moment it's not as bad as i thought in my head! just try to be positive and think to yourself that you will do AMAZING! GOOD LUCK! 💜
thanks society for making introverts' lives hard.
but as long as we say "we're introverts" instead of "I'm an introvert", I know that it's going to be fine.
Thank you for normalizing being a shy person. Especially as an adult. People either treat you as a child or try to change you.
I never related to any video, anyone, anything that MUCH. oh my god.
loved that Video and feeling more understood now!
You are a very articulate, intelligent young lady and explained yourself very well. Being an introvert is something to be proud of. There are too many people in the world who are bragging, and talking out loud about garbage and not really saying anything of value.
Love this video! I’m the same. I’m little less now that I’m older, but in school people thought I couldn’t talk.
thanks Lauren! me too, now that i've been out of school for years i realized it truly didn't matter what people thought about me
I like talking to people, but my shyness is that even though I Wana say something I fear people is looking at me and even though I talk people wouldn't hear me, because I wasn't speaking loud enough. That video is really helpful. I thought I was only one like that
yeah, I totally get you. For a long time I've been kind of stuck because I thought being quiet limited me but as the years pass I managed to understand myself more and be ok with possible changes. As you said I don't think that you are faded to be the same forever and I'm just grateful for the changes but I also respect (and appreciate) my quiet traits a lot more now. It was a really nice video!
I feel exactly the same as you 💜
Thank you so so much for this video! 💕
I understand your pain💕 it's ok I'm also shy and introverted💛
Could 100% relate to everything! You’re not alone 💕
I am a quiet person, not because I'm shy but because I want to be more conscious about the words that I am uttering. I've learned from experience that not saying much still has more benefits than saying too much.
thank you for this amazing video!!!
I really loved listening to u as it seemed like I was listening to my inner self !! U spoke out exactly everything I feel as an introvert !
I love you, Monika. Thank you so much for this.
I can’t thank you enough for this video, I can definitely relate to every single word. It made me feel like I’m not alone and being shy isn’t necessarily bad
You're so pretty fr
I love how genuinely you talk! It gives your vids an authentic vibe💞😁
I felt every thing you said.
I'm happy that I am not alone!
I related to every word you said in this video. I've just been to a really tough year and I think this kind of feelings made the biggest part of my mental breakdown. The counciussness of being judge and the feeling of doing always the wrong thing. I always feared to talk about it but this kind of videos give me so much energy and positivity. Knowing that there is people just like me brave to talk on youtube about it teaches me so much.
Love your videos, thank you :)
I just found your channel and I'm so happy that I did. I feel like I'm listening to myself. I think I finally found my twin sister. I understand you perfectly. I'm subscribing to all the shy people out there. I support you 100%.
Thank you for sharing this . It’s just like you said everything that I feel just if you read my thoughts. Which I’m thankful for because I’m not feeling alone and gave me hint that things are going to change to the better . Thank you ❤️
I had a lot of people be brutal towards me growing up just because I was quiet, people said they didn't like me because of it, even adults told me that. I was already insecure but it made me 10 times more insecure then I would have been. I realized a lot of those people just don't understand and im growing to like the fact that im quiet even though I've always been envious of loud, extroverted people. I appreciate the mix, not everyone can be loud and extroverted, the world would be chaos. As long as you're comfortable and secure with yourself, be whoever you want, if someone doesn't like it, that's okay, they don't have to. :)
Always love your discussion videos, Monika! Things definitely change over time. We both used to be so introverted but now that we're older - we speak up more and try to strike up conversations when we can. It's a conscious step through - something that takes a bit of energy and sometimes some mental-planning. Haha.
I related to this so much! Now that I'm older, being quite doesn't bother me like it used to, because I don't care very much about what people I don't know well think of me (and I talk plenty to the people I'm close to). But this video made me remember how it felt growing up. I can remember sometimes feeling a burning sensation in my chest before I would answer questions in class. I had totally forgotten about that. Your story about crying in the bathroom actually moved my to tears 😭
I'm really glad to hear that it doesn't bother you the way it used to. Just know that you're not alone. There plenty of us shy and/or introverted types in the world. And I think many of us are finding our voices on platforms like UA-cam! I love your videos and I'm looking forward to watching more!
I relate.
When I was in Elementary school, a long time ago, I remember there was a teacher, that taught us about values, morality, etc, everybody loved her, and indeed, she was very sweet and kind, I liked her too. But this teacher one day at the morning, when we all had a reunion for daily announcements and other things, she passed at the escenario and started to speak, saying that she’s seen a lot of students eating alone, and that she wanted everyone to cooperate and “Help” this shy people and since she was very loved, everyone started acting right away. At the time I was at 3rd grade, I was so shy, it was my second year at that school, and I’ve managed to get one friend, but she was very extroverted, and I generally just walked away for her to be with her other 9 or more friends (not a lie, I’m serious, she had that much) so I ate alone as well, and it was soooo awkward for everyone to ask you 3 times per week if you wanted to eat with them. One day, this teacher was saying this dialogue as usual, but what changed was that she added: “if they don’t want to, you don’t have to force them” and I was like:
Oh thank god. The amount of people asking decreased.
Something I didn’t like about it was the fact that they only started doing it when the teacher asked them to, so probably more than the 70% weren’t doing it totally genuinely, and that she didn’t make herself clear since the start, they never forced me to eat with them, but maybe some did. She should’ve said that since the start
i am so fucking sensitive i started crying while watching this lol
hi!! i just want u to know that everything u said, i relate to all of them. i didnt even think that someone shares the same experience as me when ppl tell me " why are u so quiet?" all the time and the fact that if i ever speak up they will feel weird at the same time when i dont speak at all. i thought i was alone and felt insecure abt it but now i feel comfortable. thanks for sharing ur story! ik im not the only one now who feels like this and speaking abt this personal stuff is rlly hard and im so proud of you! ( let me also add that the reason i first subscribed to u bc i want to be a filmmaker omg )
Thank you for this video,I am feeling bad,and kind of overwhelmed with sad thoughts lately,also judging myself too harshly for being shy,quiet,this video is helping me feel better
OMG! I love this, I relate to this a lot, I've always been a shy introvert and it's hitting me really hard now in my first year of college cause I don't like to approach people or I just overthink the situation. Most of my family members tell me to jus get over it and you need to grow out of that, but don't understand it's not that easy and it's going to take some time. My dad told me that he was me when he was younger and got more out of his shell when he started taking public speaking in college, he is definitely outspoken now but he can be an introvert. I know he understands and knows it'll take time for me to get a little bit out of my shell. This video really made me feel not so alone and gave me hope that I hopefully won't be soooooo shy.
Thank you for this video! Glad to know I’m not the only one! I’m currently in high school and find it hard fitting in and to speak up sometimes due to me being an introvert. This video really helped me understand that being myself and accepting who I am is important so thanks again!
Hi Monika, I came across this video randomly and I could instantly tell your life is pretty similar to mine. I see a lot of myself in you and I felt like crying for teenaged you because I understand where that fear of speaking vs. not speaking comes comes from. That fear is so terrifying and it had so much control over my life. I'm a 23 year old mixed race male graduating from nursing school and I'm definitely not as shy or quiet as I was in high school and before (although public speaking still makes me hella nervous). I used to wish I was born an extrovert and to some extent I still do - but at the same time I'm very glad I don't have the energy for small talk. It's just exhausting and unproductive a lot of the time. I just wanted to comment a thank you note. Thanks and I’m so proud of you and your success. You've earned a new subscriber
my fav video for now on :D, i really relate to this soo much, im a teenager now and i care a lot about everything, but i'm working on my feelings to be myself and care less
Hi Monika, thank you for sharing this. You are the first person I have ever heard saying exact things and thoughts that I had. I was always asking myself if im the only one like this (of course I knew there must be others like me because there are a lot of people on this planet duhh)... but sometimes it felt so lonely. as a child being in the enviroment I knew and with the people I felt comfortable with I was pretty chaty and a very happy child...I was Just very sensitive and soft. And a very thoughtful person. Sooo, I was bullied too, for all kinds of pretty stupid things and with a very primitive sense of humor and because of bullying I was not just a quiet person anymore, I also got very sad and scared and everything in my head felt so overwhelming, so overflowing, so then they stared calling me emo, depressive, weird, not capable of anything...and actually I dont know when but at some Point I found myself "being" everything they Said to me,..not because I am but because I Got so caught up in this voices and thoughts analyzing it over and over again that I actually programed my brains into all of this..and its not like I actually thought that these people are anything special, I never wanted to be like them, I loved myself, I Just couldnt help not caring because at the end of the day, even if I was more of a quite - observatory little person and even tho I liked my own world I am still human, I still needed a friend and to be a friend, I still felt the need to be accepted and loved, to be equal, to play on the playground...I just didnt know that this playground would transform into "battle field" for some kids.
Im sorry if this is a long one but I Just wanted to share and say that its like talking to the "same kind" for the first time in my life and I am grateful for this. 💖
Oh my ! Thank goodness you are sharing your experience as a shy kid . Sometimes I felt as if I'm the only person with this LeVeL of shyness , but now I'm not alone and realized people here have the same problem . Don't worry dear people , we all are amazing even if nobody likes our beautiful personality .
This is the most related video that I've ever seen on yt! I got those questions a lot! It's really bothering but now that I've seen this video... I know that I'm not alone and I'm really happy😊😊😊😊
I feel her :(
This happened to me during pre school :(
I
i relate so much to this !! i am 15 now and i feel like i'm changing and i'm slowly becaming less shy
i was definitely a lot more shy like 2 years ago than i am now but i still care a lot about what people think and it's so hard to just not care about it :( but even tho i'm still an introvert i'm a little more confident now and that makes me really happy :D
love from portugal
literally every single thing you said and shared about being a teen happened to me, I was saying to me self "I can relate",. "this is me" so many times and sometimes even out loud.
It was nice to hear that you felt better about yourself as you grew up, im Currently 23 and thinking about how shy and quiet I was really makes me sad because Ive been told that by not talking and not standing up for yourself you are missing so much of life, I always knew that this was not the case for me, I do enjoy being alone because it helps me focus on the things I want and plan to do but I also enjoy being surrounded by friends.
As for now I am more than able to speak for myself when it comes to my native language, I actually having trouble speaking English with others, being in all this covid situation really expanded my online friends list, I always considered my English to be decent enough to be understood by others, passed classes without any problems as well Uni English test but when it comes to speaking up I find it really hard.
For the past month ive been expanding my English practices, tried to engage conversation with closer friends or family members and read a bunch of materials out loud but I still dont feel ready or confident enough with my voice, Im starting to realize that maybe my English is not the main problem but I still suffer from being quiet type of person - which I still am without a doubt.
Guess I still have a long path to walk
Yes I can relate - thanks for sharing, sometimes the details of introvert’s lives are portrayed as quite painful when going back and really examining. I’m 40 now adult make and still deal with shyness but as you said , it’s not a curse. It would be a loud, strange , scary place without us introverts here thinking and analyzing and always listening.
I HAVE FELT LIFE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.
I also experience anxiety when it comes to college and going into architecture and presentations and stuff but I've been working on it and its still nerve racking but life has taught me so much about my power and my abilities.
Thanks for talking about this.
All that you are saying is exactly what happens to me and I've been struggling with it all my life. You are right, people don't let you enjoy your being quiet. I am just like you.
you inspire me ❤ i love you!
love you! 💜
Beautiful video! Thanks Monika!
This makes me feel better about myself... All this time I've been trying to push myself and become more loud, but no matter what it's not enough, I didn't realise I was losing the real me in the process.... Until I watched this video ..🥺❤️❤️.. You're a true inspiration
I love this video
thank you 💜 yeah i also thought a lot about my answer being perfect. fun fact: i actually scripted my videos when i first started youtube because i could not even fathom just freely talking to the camera without knowing exactly what i was going to say. now i feel more confident and often do non-scripted videos like this one!
I grew up with this! Everyone would ask me why you are so quiet - even when I tried to talk lol. From what I have learned - its caused by inhibition spirits. Monika is beautiful!
Yea I never understand this, even when I tried to be more talkative ppl still say I don’t talk much, ppl will still judge me about it, it’s mind boggling to me! Like what do I have to do? like it bothers ppl, especially in the work place.
I first gotta say, thank you for this video. I can relate to so many things that you pointed out. 😊❤️
When I’m around people, I’m always hoping that they won’t talk to me because I always feel uncomfortable afterwards. Some people have even told me that I’m being rude when I’m doing this, but like you said, some people won’t understand what it’s like to be a quiet person. I can also relate to crying in the bathroom after something like this would happen and thinking very negative things along with it.
i can relate to this ^^ thank you for sharing!
Hello. I’m a teenager and I do feel many emotions. I struggle in overthinking in simple situations. I’m quiet and I do care what other people think of me sometimes but I don’t like that. Although I am brave whenever I build up my courage when I need to. I might think of myself as shy but I do believe I’m brave too. For example, I’m brave enough to comment in the comment section. Watching your video made me realize that I can be hopeful in always being myself and feeling motivated in being who I am. Just want to say thank you for making this video. Btw I love your taste in films!
girl i can relate with you. so much. i'm an introvert, and i've always been a timid girl since i was young. i'm really quiet and i think most people are intimidated by that. many people are passive and awkward towards me whenever they are with me, and that's what really makes me conscious, and i'm someone who cares a lot about what other people would think about me. but when i do talk or say what's on my mind, people ignore me. like-- i knew it, it's better if i keep quiet, no one listens anyway. i also hate small talks, it's making things more awkward. and it's really hard for me to socialize, especially in an extroverted society. ugh i just, i wish someone would understand me personally as much as how i understood you, haha
I love you for speaking about this. I get it. I was quiet growing up because of anxiety I got from abuse. I was judged very harshly for everything which stifled a lot of my social growth. I was a very social kid and I talked a lot but knowing how many eyes were on me and that I'd be picked on for just being a normal kid really got to me so I thought it'd stop if I didn't speak. I thought I was more valuable as a person if I was quiet and agreeable. I still struggle with these feelings but now I'm loud and hyperactive and a bit annoying. I'm a natural leader in friend groups and I'm less of the mom friend and more of the rough big sister. It's hard speaking up but you can learn. It's okay to be introverted and a bit shy but don't ever be insecure. The less you speak the more important what you'll have to say will be. Being reserved makes you come across as polite and respectful and it makes others feel more comfortable confiding in you. Don't worry, you've got this thing called socializing! Just believe in yourself.