you’re not boring, you just lack conversational skills
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
- you’re not boring, you just lack conversation skills
guys trust me
i've been that girl:
- cringey
- awkward
- painfully shy
- never knows what to say in social situations
and always found myself saying things like
- i don't know what to say
- i feel like I'm so boring
- why do i ask people about themselves but they never ask about me?
in this video I'm sharing everything I've learnt the hard way over the years about
- how to be more outgoing
- how to be confident socially
- how to overcome social anxiety and being awkwardness
if i can transform from being hella shy to halla social, so can you 😎
📌 timestamps
0:00 - intro
1:32 how to approach people
6:42 there is no 'right or wrong' thing to talk about
10:42 stop deflecting
14:55 i DoN'T KnoW wHaT tO sAy
20:42 stop hiding your opinion
24:25 cut the BS and say how you actually feel
27:50 summary
28:47 outro
💭 contact me
video ideas → forms.gle/vYabZfXZvySN9xaA7
buy me a coffee → www.buymeacoffee.com/christin...
insta → / chrstinna
tiktok → / christina.aaliyah
email → christinaaaliyah1@gmail.com
🔗 ignore this lol
Typing this up so the algorithm thinks this video is about 7 habits of highly effective people, how to make friends in your twenties, how to make friends with more people, how to speak to new people, how to make friends, how to get people to like you, make friends, how to meet new people, how to be confident, how to overcome social anxiety, how to be confident in social situations ,if you made it this far, comment a 🍇
I think from childhood I also learnt to avoid disagreement. I'm learning now to value my own opinions more 🥰
I though, I am such a good friend I never argue
i still dont argue
@@katarinabrecevic8670 same, unironically never arguing damaged my friendships!!!
THIS ❤
You know she is actually good when she hype us in the beginning she was like if you a ppl pleaser and overthinker, overachiver and followed it up with like no you don't suck guys u just lack conversational skills, that was top ppl pleasing skills
I’ve been avoiding this video because I’ve been too afraid to actually get the knowledge to put anything in practice
Me too, I think it’s the time we face our fears
@@Dreamerwithpiano its time to shine🎉
*shiver*
we got this pals 💪
Fighting✊
literally
I struggle with opening up to people, it makes me feel vulnerable, exposed even. The skill to talk to others is something I want to work on, I want to make friends too and not come across so awkwardly towards others. The feeling of being awkward supercedes the vulnerability in a way, just have to push myself over the hurdle of wanting to be likable by everyone
Have the exact same feeling when I (try to) talk to someone. It's so weird, it's like talking to a SS officer in my head wtf.
"I can only talk to her when there's other people in the room, because then her negativity is diluted" omg😂, just that experience right there inspires me to become more positive to myself so that I can then be more positive to others. Being so negative that your energy is draining is not the goal🙌
This is my final year in the university and I still cannot communicate. Thank youuu ❤️
Me too:)) youre not alone.
When I was younger I thought being abusive towards people was normal like hitting boys… just turns out it was my household and now I’m struggling with reteacging myself how to act normally
Same, would say the meanest things and tear ppl apart with my words and then be confused why they started crying, i was 8 and it was just how my mom treated me so i thought it was normal lol now I struggle with voicing my discomfort or disagreeing with someone cause idk what’s normal and healthy and I don’t wanna be a mean ass
this is the first video where the creatore actually seems to understand my struggles❤️
I’ve been there ❤️🩹
I have struggled all my life with feeling insecure, shy, quiet and anxious. It has taken a huge toll on my relationships in my 20s as I find it difficult to open up and be authentically myself. I'm scared that people won't like me if they know how boring I am, or stupid. Even if other people tell me otherwise (like family or the friends I do have), deep down I am stubborn to disagree with them. It's like I can't find it within myself to believe what others tell me. I solely base it off how I feel when I am interacting with people that I want to be friends with but get too shy, and ultimately just don't feel completely comfortable around. I am constantly thinking "what do I say?", or "I don't know how to insert my opinions in this conversation". Thank you for making this video, it has opened my eyes a little more on what I can do to help myself in new social situations. I look forward to watching your other videos.
those are all feelings i've felt, or thoughts i've had too. i know how it feels its so tough and all consuming. what's great if you have awareness that, and awareness always helps a lot when you are trying to change ✨ so glad this video helped🙏🏽
So the short of it is : Don't worry about it(in my personal case)
yuppp
THIS. This. this.
I’ve never felt more understood in my life about my social anxiety than this. Everything you said.
I can’t believe you just put every little thought and insecurity that floods my mind so poignantly than how you described it in this video.
I’m still recovering brb
as an introvert perspective, the main goal of eye contacting is that the other person aproach to you and then start the conversation, because you re not enough confident to do it first, thats why I lose a big part of my oportunities
Honestly, it depends on who am with, after a failed friendship with a girl who is a bad listener, I just keep quiet but I notice a lot of other people say that I make conversation no matter what, so it's just about basic conversation, communication and sometimes mutual chemistry.😅
📌 stamps
0:00 - intro
1:32 how to approach people
6:42 there is no 'right or wrong' thing to talk about
10:42 stop deflecting
14:55 i DoN'T KnoW wHaT tO sAy
20:42 stop hiding your opinion
24:25 cut the BS and say how you actually feel
27:50 summary
28:47 outro
You’re so real, ty for this
I love how your videos actually help me because I feel like the way you share your experiences as someone who also struggles with social skills makes me feel understood, which is something really rare to me.. I already improved a lot with your tips
Value your opinion but handle disagreements accordingly
Any smalltalk ideas? When i'm talking to someone my mind goes blank and i have no idea what to talk about, it gets awkward.
Same! I'm not even thinking "I don't know what to say". My mind just goes blank.
Try and think about your own interests then ask them if they do it or like it? So for me I'm into k dramas, writing, nature, gaming psychology. So I'll ask:
"Have you watched anything good recently?" Then segue into asking if they're interested in k dramas lol or what genre they like in general.
"Do you like hiking?" Then I'll ask if they have any recommendations for good hiking spots.
Etc
Omg same! Like even with my friends my mind just goes completely blank
Pet are great too, people’s love talking about pets
how was your weekend, ask questions about whatever they tell you were doing in the weekend, how's your major, what's your favourite subjects and why (if they mention a food, a place they went to, ask in an excited interested way about how they FEEL about that food, is it their fav, about that place, did they feel good on that vacation, ect) i hope it helps
I need YOU in a podcast omg
your videos are literally my life
they are so helpful!!
When I was younger, I used to have the biggest stutter at 15. I’m glad I got out of this. But now I can’t stop talking 😂
omg same, it held me back so much. the stutter creeps up from time to time but now I just don’t mind 😂
real !!
this helps so much !! my bff is rlly good at talking to people and me too but i dont do it like her, so this rlly helps !! thanks again
girl, you’re so underrated!! This is extremely helpful, thanks 💕
Hii! Thank you for the video, I am really happy to see this topic in your videos, since I been feeling cringed or like a bad bad at talking person in some (most) of conversations with new people around, , about the positive affirmations, you say it’s cringey but for real, that’s also what works! just simply admitting I am a good person, was so much of a game change for me)) thank you so much for sharing this experience ! ❤
This feels so good finally hearing something I relate to so strongly that I basically never hear anywhere else. I can’t tell you how much anxiety I’d get in college as a music major whenever there’d be a seminar in the concert hall, Omg how much stress it was thinking about the simple dilemma of where to sit & who to sit with & if everyone else will recognize that I don’t have friends cuz I’m sitting alone🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ & I always feel like I must be boring cuz I don’t know what to say to start conversations or make them become interesting
Talking does not become easier when your self esteem becomes less attached, talking becomes easier when you feel less intimidated. I have a crush that puts this hard exterior when he talks and walks so it’s hard to sometimes just come up and talk. The problem with talking is people always try to make you do the heavy talking, and it’s toxic.
the way this spoke to my soul TYSM!
I honestly love your videos so much and how comfortable and reassured you make us feel❤ but you just have to know your arms are bloody amazing like do you lift or something they look so toned 😭😭😭
This is exactly what I needed. Thankyou!!!
So close! I'm actually autistic!
Same…
love your vids keep it up sis
This video is pure gold
Thank u so much for this content:)!
You are saving my life
I've been looking for your page !!!!!! Your content is what I desire. How to develop my personality. I wasn't raised to properly value my personality and I've always used I was borning. I just never felt confident in my self to express my real personality. THANK YOU
The goal of a conversation is to BE YOURSELF 🙌👏👏
the impact of this video is equal a terapy session
i love this video thank you so much
Life saver fr
just discover your channel, and i think your videos are great and deserve more hypee❤
thanks Serena ❤️
Thank you bro
Social anxiety ✨😅
I think social anxiety comes from these expectations we place on others that they would have for us. Realize that others don't really expect anything from you, that they'll either forget you or you can leave a lasting effect on them. What I got from this is, don't let it cloud your mind, fumble your words and speak your mind, it's how the interaction felt that actually matters
I love your content
I love u!
NEEDED THISSS
i gotchu
Thanks for this video
Heyy girl, I just discovered your channel recently and I can tell you that your videos are great and every tip is spot on!! Keep doing what you are doing because you are doing very well! I'm really happy when I see that you released a new video❤️
thanks so much Amelia! this means the most!!
@@ChristinaAaliyah❤!
Omg I thought I was the only way that felt I was boring and don’t know what to say so I didn’t want to talk to anyone in fear that they will confirm my own feelings about myself
Really amazing video🎉🎉 Love from India❤
My problem with conversation is politics and steriotypes that fit, makes me unconfortable to approach the subject and hurts me hear some tasteless comments about important subjects, i also find very hard to not be passive agressive when i'm mad.
So i guess i have to learn how to defleft from that and how to not instantly hate the person because they read 90 books of a famous grifter
I have always been a very quiet person just like my now late mum for now 24 years 😢. I am not good with being in large crowds even if they are relatives
I am very struggling with this 😭 I want to change how I speak
hey! this is a follow up on one of your points, the last one. when someone says they feel bad after being asked how they are, I feel that it’s hard for me or the person I’m talking to follow up in a productive way that contributes to the conversation.
how do you jump off of their point, given that they say they’re feeling stressed, or down?
I’d say show empathy ‘I’m sorry about that’ along those lines, or ask them about ‘what’s going on’, ‘sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate’. if you give them some space they might open up a lil. a if not that’s totally ok, in their minds they felt feel nice knowing someone cares to ask :)
@@ChristinaAaliyah thank you! follow-up: do u know how to keep a conversation going on after that? And should I switch to make it upbeat or stay with the same tone?
22:12 there are some opinions that sometimes i feel like is better not to give depending on the vibe, when i know i will sound a pedantic know it all... you know what i mean? What do you think?
I can’t relate to Amy of these please cane you do a video on how to text better or reach out to existing friends etc
thank you thank you thank you I'm working as a hairdresser assistant and I'm fuckin bad at chit chat
I'm feeling better about it now tho
💖✨
can you do a guide to community college 😭
like friendships in cc?
@@ChristinaAaliyah yess and clubs and stuff how to be friends w ppl
on it 😎
@@ChristinaAaliyahyes video abt cc would be amazing
Can you make a video on how to bring a better vibe to the function. I’m the negative girl.
y'all i know it's off topic but i have this weird fear of boys not like fear but complex, i didn't get to notice until my friends told me that if had been SA before cause i always trying to avoid boys and act weird and then i started to notice how weird acctually i am, i heard that this is kind of mental illness and i really need advises or tips so i can act like a normal person plz T__T
🍇💖
Aayloya i really have problem i havent made any real friends (ive been lonly since 6th grade) and im going to be freshmen what do i do/say please im desperate to improve
you're still so young and have so much time to learn ♥️ try not to stress about it so much, you'll find your place
@@nurailidepaepe2783 i have no friends and I haven't hung out with anyone I tried but I really wanna change because I'm aware ( I really don't have any friends this summer and I just wanna do something with my life)
say hi more!! say hi to the people u sit next to, ask them questions, dont stress too much,, just say hi, and if you think theyre gonna find u embarrassing, it just doesnt matter cuz theyre gonna think about you for just like 5 minutes maximum and then theyre gonna be caught up in their own lives cuz everyone got problems of their own.
just go up to people, compliment them, say hi, ask them questions about themself, not too deep ones just normal small talk, and remember, dont be tooo talkative, talk only if the other person wants to talk back to u.
good luck!!
one more tip is that you should observe some extrovert characters in tv shows and movies and analyse how they are and then try to do the same!!
what if you feel your empathy is lower ghan others?
Fr I need help w that
To get good conversation skills, have a emoji heavy text conversation then meet in real life and act out the emojis 😂
We are literally the same person lol
No,,,,you do,,,all the young do...social media secret silence destroyed your conversation anything
me reading the title: yeah i know that im autistic 😭
Eagles always fly alone.
New follower here❤🥹
I seen challenges I think it’s the worst movie I’ve seen yet omg I hated the editing paste too slow for my liking and the storyline was too complicated to keep up with
Thank you so much for this video Christina 🫶🏼