Another charisma tip: 1.Carefully arrange a lock of hair so that it falls charmingly into your forehead. 2. White teeth. And if you don't have teeth, grow them.
Most people don’t analyze people to be weird or creepy. In my case I find reading a human behavior very interesting! And I don’t think this guy has any bad intentions when he reads people.
Charlie, was standing in front of the camera intentional, to allow the viewer to practice our observation? Because I noticed a few things about why you're such a great speaker... 1) Good eye (camera) contact, 2) Making confident use of the space around you with your hand gestures, 3) Fluctuating rhythm and word pauses in your sentences, keeping us interested. Amazing job embodying your previous lessons!
Yes, this is the only guy on youtube I can actually watch that speaks for a long period with no pause or cutscenes. Didnt notice exactly why until you pointed it out. Thanks
1. Increase self-awareness (When you are forming, changing opinion about people?) 2. Find where their attention is (eye contact is huge), Where their body (parts) is/are turned. Interested in talking to you or not. 3. Get good at identifying micro-expressions. 4. Identify common patterns (We'll call you later - They won't, We'll come back - Probably they won't) 5. Make predictions based on other people's body language 6. Experiment in your own life
I was doing some of these while playing Uno with my family, I won all matches and got called a cheater.. I think prediction comes from how self aware you are, and it's a gamble. I placed a red 8, my opponent followed with a yellow 8. Many things I see here. One they didn't have a red. Two, they wanted two change the cards to their favor. Three, autopilot. Four, I can follow up with a red card If I can in case they don't have red, they would need to pick up more cards. Five, follow up with the same red 8 if I could because I doubt they have another yellow 8 or yellow card. It's just about how self aware you're about the next possible outcome, and taking a gamble.
Dude, I have to say that I admire your charisma, and... wow, you give this full speech without cutting the video and fully fluid. That's skill. Thanks for the videos!
Talking without hands is so brutal. I can do it on the phone, but whenever I tell a story or tell someone about some thing that's important to me, like, "Listen, I just learned...", I wouldn't go on unless my coworker or friend or so would look at me. After all, 80% of communication is body language, eh?
Not to say this is a bad thing, btw! One way to come off as an energetic individual is by accentuating your statements with actions. Charlie is doing the right thing.
It's the concept of Self-monitoring; being aware of your own body language and expressions, and it's impacts on those around you But ugh, honestly, most of this stuff is too vague, and a majority of us have an socially acceptable level of all of this anyway. There are no tips and tricks here to turn me into Victoria Coren
1. Be self aware.... when you form opinions on people. 2. Body language..... eyes focused, body facing towards you, replies to talking (no uh huh, yeah). 3. Make predictions for strangers...... monotone responses, hesitant choices, distance apart mean lack of familiarity. 4. Imitation.... not about size or color, just volume, speed, tone.
Overcoming your shyness is possible! For me, when I was about 20 I started trying to overcome my shyness (my nickname was "shy guy"), and I would just focus on one small thing at a time. I would go to a party or get-together and just focus on making a little more eye contact or not crossing my arms. 4 years later, I'm a way different person out in public and feel totally comfortable in a group! It can be overcome!
+Eric Weiss People on the autism spectrum do have empathy, but they relate from their own perception, so sometimes they have difficulty with seeing it from the other person's perspective. So they certainly do have empathy and they understand every aspect of it. Stop being an echo chamber of backwards information.
***** xD your anecdotal evidence is more supportive than the scisntific research on Autism? People with Autism reason from their own perspective which is why it can look like they don't show empathy while in reality they simply don't factor your emotions in. Now if you look at a psychological profile without empathy you're talking abour narcicists and psychopaths. Being able to love, give and show affection, identify pain and love all identify that Autism has the ability has empathy. Let me rephrase this concept for you; having Autism does not mean you have no empathy. Having Autism also doesn't mean you ALWAYS have empathy. I mean a narcicist could have Autism and then he doesn't have empathy. You understand me now?
Recommended reading for learning how to psychoanalyze : -the art of seduction by Robert Greene -how to psychoanalyze someone by Scarlett Kennedy -psychoanalysis by Freud
K Rs what makes you think that a new science that Freud "started on" can't be improved upon 100 fold through massive scientific areas of expertise like "experimental psychology" Behavioural Science" "Genetic Behaviour" "social sciences" "Body Language used by FBI,The American judicial system for selection of jury candidates" "ethology" and the 35 year study of macro and micro expressions by a dr Paul Ekman /Friesen ? all put together with real world testing over Many decades?
You don't need to wear your earphones to listen to conversations. You probably won't find audio of conversations on your phone that you would regularly listen to.
This is very accurate. A friend and I recently had a conversation about our personalities. One of the things I mentioned about myself is the ability to read people. As Charisma stated, the first step in being able to read someone is first becoming aware of every aspect of yourself. This requires a lot of time and introspection. After I went through the introspective phase; I naturally tuned into other people and started to make predictions that were spot on. I used this for social experiments, and understanding people on a collective scale. It changed my life forever. From my experience it’s the best tool for effective communication, helping others, and resolving conflict. So don’t use this for malicious intent. Remember with great power comes great responsibility.
I don't know if it's anything specific with me, but whenever people talk and behave the way you did in the video I automatically distrust and am put off by them. A lot of people see it as confident and convincing speaking, but I only ever see it used by salesmen and people trying to sell me something. It always seems like they're over acting and putting way too much thought into making their movements and voice friendly and convincing to try to reel people in. Which I guess works on some people, but I'm always really bothered by it. I don't know if anyone else feels the same way or if there's a more detailed explanation to it.
I do, that's why I'm scrolling the comment section. Sometimes his vids pop up in recommendation and I check what people say. My problem is, like you, this attitude is making me uneasy. I'm a pretty honest and observant person so this come out as Emulating charisma, acting like it instead of being it and it's repulsive. I'm actually looking for a comment that I thought I had a screenshot of, regarding what we've said but can't find it.
I know him personally and I can asure you his charisma is genuin, however, I totally get both of your points. He is teaching amazing things, but thinking out of the box, looks like he always calculates everything he does or say. But to be honest, I just watch 3 or 4 videos and I could honestly relate to a few things he says, things I do without really realizing, meaning, there are people who are naturally like that, especially him, like what he teaches and there are some people who some of these tips would really help hem to be more confident, etc. I guess he just learned to notice it and take advantage of it. I mean, look at this, so many followers. This tells me he really learned how to take advantage of a natural gift and pass it over. I mean, would't you love a person who is honestly this charismatic, honest and humble? I know I do. PS: sorry for my grammatical mistakes, Im from Costa Rica and English is not my first language 😜
He’s literally talking to a camera. Obviously a UA-camr would be different without it. I know what u mean and am always aware of it on UA-cam but cuz I know that’s their media face, it doesn’t bother me
I hope you wouldn't follow somebody who's not genuine, or not prepared to do their presentation. This fellow is honestly sharing information that he's expert at. He's simply a teacher
Due to the way i was brought up, i have always been gifted/cursed with reading people, but i feel like u should mention that certain people with mental health problems, sometimes do not follow these 'rules', infact they behave often opposite to the 'rules'
Huh? I mean, of course, but even then, it's really useful. Like, I used to suffer from depression and anxiety, but I was still able to read people (I work in sales and service, so I got a huge data base of experience). And whenever I meet someone with mental health problems, I can handle them as well - because you do notice that they got problems and can change your approach accordingly. Like, currently, I work in a gaming arcade with slot machines in the "ghetto". Like, there are lots of immigrants, people with health problems, addicts etc. Knowing how people basically behave makes you more aware of divergent cues... which I find especially useful when it comes to addicts, who might tell you anything to get you to give them money or even just a cigarette.
@@Imnottrainedforthis i was just thinking i have severe ptsd, anxiety and depression on and off for 13 years, the ptsd is what the even the doctors overlooked for the longest time, because due abuse suffered during childhood, i dont always show signs, and like my anxiety Makes Me not like looking people intrested eye for very long. Yet i am really self confident
TBH it not only applies to people with mental health problems, but also simply people from different cultural backgrounds. I'm sure the dude in the video would be totally lost in Scandinavia, or Russia, where people doesn't show you feelings, or "act along" unless they are genuine. Even in body language.
This is excellent advice! Much easier to implement for someone who is good at observing and analyzing the world. What I'm especially impressed with, though, is how you shot this whole video in one take. Kudos. :) I'm new to your channel, but I'm happy to stay and watch your previous work. Thanks for sharing your insights and skills!
I'm autistic with social anxiety and I have a hard time interacting with people. Nothing about it comes naturally to me, so your videos are such a big help.
danget, I only have 3 black shirts ;-; lol, but yeah, it's easier to wear the same kinds of clothes so I won't need to think about my appearance, y'know?
This is the first video of your channel that i've watched. I'm not English or American but it was easy to understand your explanations even for foreign people. Well done! I think that applying your advices will help me to read people and to predict how is going a aprticular situations. I'll continue to watch your video. They inspire me:)
... You realize that he was saying he isn't American or English, meaning from America or England, right? People of most nationalities use the English language.
Eye contact 9/10 (You glance at the floor a few times) Hand movements 10/10 Facial expressions 10/10 Stories 10/10 Movements such as leaning, liftign weights, etc 10/10 I've noticed this in all the vidoes you make. You take lessons from the people you study. :)
This is more about readind situations.. I think that the most important part of reading people, is conversation. To be more exact, paying attention at their answers, the way they answer, the tone of their voice and the expressions or moves that follow with their answers. These things reveal deeper things about them. This kind of reading happens to me with a automatic way, i mean i dont think about reading someone i just met, it just happens. If you ask the right aswers, you get a lot of information about them. Its like solving a puzzle, and with each piece you get (information about the other person), you connect the pieces (you get to know them). You ask questions based on their good/bad traits, their psychologic traits, their behavior, their thoughts. But you never do that in a direct way.
+AikoMonster If you would do that in a direct way they`d be creeped out and they would know what you`re up too, and noone wants the other person to know that you`re analyzing the person. That way they would be able to get to analyze you (easier) :D. And you get attackable
+lolmakeify Usually, you get analyzed by the people you want to. Friends, your new relashionship, family and even strangers or co-workers. You wont let someone that you dont like analyze you, because you will not pay attention or care to talk to them. So, its not a bad thing if you want people you like, to get to know you better:p We always reveal our deepest thoughts and self, to the people we feel most connected to.
+AikoMonster I used to work in sales and that's where I really honed my skill for reading people. I would continually try to read people faster so I got to the point that when I saw a person 30 feet away for 3 seconds I already knew how our conversation would flow and what product I would sell them and how much they'd buy. It gets easy since a large majority of people fit into a stereotype that I would use to my advantage. As for the conversations: I would continue to tune my initial analysis but mainly focus on short term brain washing for them to agree to the contracts and products I was selling. I managed to be the #1 salesman at a Fortune 50 company and would go around teaching others some of my tricks. I still feel like there's so much to learn however.
I’ve been reading people for years and I agree with everything he said. There are very particular patterns that work or don’t work. Notice a person’s patterns. What do they do? Do they say they’ll call you later but never call you at all? Then they’re most likely a dishonest and distrustful person. Reading body language is also important. Not many people understand body language can actually tell you a lot about a person.
while I do agree that you arent born cofident or charasmatic you are born with a factor that will contribute to this which is looks if you are good looking people will like you more in other words you will be more charismatic. and if people like you more your confidence is boosted
To say these concepts (and others shared by this channel) are valuable to someone on The Autism Spectrum (people who are born lacking natural ability to read subtlety and body language, verbal queues, etc.) is an understatement. Excellent.
What taught me how to read people is actually years of waiting tables. You watch people in all different scenarios (families, dates, business dinners, friend groups, celebrations) and you learn by recognizing patterns. For career servers, I’d argue it’s an extremely psychological profession. Figuring people out can be very lucrative skill.
+Charisma on Command Most people who can cold read people can also act i think. You understand body language and tonality and you also know how to make adjustments in the way you "act". But maybe i'm to logical about it.
I think micro expressions are the key indicators to tipping off my intuition. I've had people tell me not to assign meaning to my encounters, and while asking and clarifying is important, my brain has naturally already "read" what's being encoded. I would say my empathy is more in-tune than average and that has been useful in decoding ambiguous scenarios.
This guy has had some background in theatre. The way he's comfortable in front of a camera, the eye contact, the articulation, the use of the term "cold read" (a "cold read" is an audition where the actor is handed material he hasn't seen before and he has a few seconds to look it over and then he has to audition with it). I have a sneaking suspicion this guy has been in a show or 2, even if it's not his chosen profession or something he studied in college.
+brotherzero absolutely not. but you are less wrong than +douglas rau. Cold reading is a set of techniques used by mentalists, psychics, fortune-tellers, mediums and illusionists to imply that the reader knows much more about the person than the reader actually does.[1] Without prior knowledge, a practiced cold-reader can quickly obtain a great deal of information by analyzing the person's body language, age, clothing or fashion, hairstyle, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race or ethnicity, level of education, manner of speech, place of origin, etc. Cold readings commonly employ high-probability guesses, quickly picking up on signals as to whether their guesses are in the right direction or not, then emphasizing and reinforcing chance connections and quickly moving on from missed guesses. since wikipedia is obviously banned on your computer, use tor to access it anyways.
Develop self awareness. (A kindly meant suggestion for Hyacinth Bouquet, as well as the rest of us.) Discern where the attention of others is focused. Pattern recognition. Make predictions. This was great information - so well presented! Thanks! I’ll play this for my children! I hope they’ll take you as a mentor!
Ah, so that's why I'm so good at this stuff. I've always been painfully self aware, observant, and interested in psychology. An almost perfect storm. I found this channel and I mainly just watch to see if we use the same methods and have the same ideas which for the most part we do. I find it fascinating.
I couldn't read other people and it bothered me so I flipped it around and I started paying attention to myself and feeling how my face would move (micro expressions) and see what I myself was doing it about because to me that was foolproof because I didn’t have to guess per say I just had to form a theory and test it for proof- and since I could test it with myself in a first person POV with instant answers it took way less time to understand "if I do this, someone else probably does as well" and low and behold humans are very predictable
You are so logical and analytical on some kick ass levels! It's almost too good to be true that it's free info, knowledge. Just great! Seem so young to have this wisdom.
Charlie, I notice that whenever I try to improve my eye contact skills I get fed up in the thought process and I always end up super uncomfortable because I cannot keep my eyes somewhere without overthinking it. I don't want to stare at someones eyes all the time but trying to act natural makes everything worse. I want to make a genuine impression, not a creepy one. Can you share a quick tip to overcome this?
mazdarati2 Blink. Seriously, stop focusing primarily on where your eyes are, and listen to the conversation. This makes for better practice when it's a monologue, and your awkwardness is amplified, but leave your eyes to focus in between their eyes, and blink naturally. Your cues for looking away/blinking, responding, commenting, prodding, making gestures, nodding all come from the other person. For example, if they're focusing just as much on you as you are on them, you're good. If they look away for a second, (commonly it's to recall something) then it's your chance to do stuff like that as well. You can initiate these interruptions yourself, to tone down intensity. I recommend that if you're extremely uncomfortable with the level of intimacy and communion and pure joy of connection a conversation offers. But if you want to learn to be less awkward, you should try to escalate the protocol, i.e. not look away, and be engaged more than the other person. This leads to a cycle of feedback (if they're interested as well) leading to very intense conversations. As always, working on a conversation beyond your comfort level improves your comfort with lower level of eye contact and such. Anyway, in direct answer to your question, the key is to use a natural pause in eye contact-- blinking, to reposition your focus. If you find yourself distracted, you blink, reposition focus in between their eyes, and concentrate on the conversation. It's an awkwardness 'reset', so to speak.
mazdarati2 use the "face triangle", alternate between the eyes and the nose. You won't look like a staring creep and your eye contact will will be phenomenal. Almost make it a competition with the eye contact and holding it.
as an intovert ,I can read almost anyone after talking to them or observing them for few minutes,it makes me sometimes uncomfortable and sad and highly sensitive,but I like it anyway 😊
@@hurpderp1430 Just because you think you know something to a certain extent doesn't mean that you are not going to learn or are willing to learn something new.(or in this case maybe a new technique)
I really think that this is one of this channel's most important videos. If you can understand or guess what someone else is feeling you can adjust your behavior. And if you can adjust your behavior you can then change what they're feeling to what you want them to feel. And the most important advice I can get from this video is: Try to make predictions That's the only way you will know if what you're understanding is right or wrong and that's how you can tune yourself. And over time your prediction will be right more and more often!
+Mike Turner What's obvious to one person, is a mystery to the other. Do you always react that way when somebody tells you things you already knew? Not very charismatic!
1:12 I think I read about this in a book called "Black Science". Supposedly is all five of your senses creating a sixth sense. Think about that feeling like your forgetting something. You don't know what your forgetting, but you somehow know you forgot it. 4:03 This is based on Dr. Paul Ekman's work on facial expressions.
I learned how to fake till you make it. In other words, I used to be so insecure. What I did is, instead of thinking everyone was staring at me for some reason bad, I started to pretend everyone was staring at me because they think I'm pretty and made myself hold my head high. Eventually I actually started to believe it and it made me learn how to like myself. What's funny is, once I liked myself, I didn't care anymore if they was looking at me at all. I noticed it also made me stop thinking negative of others.
Charlie, fir of all, thank you for this fantastic content! My suggestion is pretty simple and I think it can uncover some hidden golden nuggets. I am a historian myself, particularly focused on military history. I am all too familiar with some of the most important figures in world history: Alexander the Great, Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler, etc. Interestingly enough, most of these leaders have the common trait of being written in literature and academic research as "charismatic" or "charming" as a key trait of theirs. Now, of course we don't have footage from most of them to break down. But, I would absolutely love the possibility of engaging with the literature available on these characters and try to uncover what is it that was charismatic about them that played a role in their careers. Learning charisma from literature I believe is going one more layer deep, and I would love to see you do it. I am beyond certain there's plenty of undiscovered lessons these men who have transcended history can teach us. Thank you!
Although this is always an interesting topic to listen to... 'reading people' is very unreliable. You mentioned eye contact and body angle but you haven't taken into account that some people can be introverted, therefore that kind of body language doesn't necessarily mean they aren't paying attention, but it could mean they're anxious or it could simply just be their natural body language. Also, micro-expressions aren't entirely reliable either if someone flashes a smile when you ask them a question, it doesn't necessarily mean they like you, it could mean your question or something about you reminds them of something funny or amusing in their past that you are completely unaware of, something you say could unintentionally upset someone causing them to flash repulsion, doesn't have to mean you've offended them, just means you've triggered something negative in their mind. It's just pop psychology stuff, interesting to ponder but not exactly this hidden super ability that we can all harness with training. People already have an innate sense of body language, you know what a wave or a thumbs up means without having to be told. You know what frowns and smiles are, you don't have to be taught how to hug or give a handshake. Anything beyond that regarding an individual person is just guess work and there's no real 'predictable' formula that matches all people.
+Dan Maginnis I encourage you to look up the work Dr. Paul Ekman has done on the subject. In fact, he's the one who discovered micro-expressions as well as the universality of facial expressions. There is a lot of science behind it and it can be reliable in telling you what emotion the person is feeling. You are correct in the fact that it does not tell you the cause of the feeling, just the fact that they are feeling it.
TheCJFrench Just looked him up, I've heard of Ekman and his lie detection quest from my university books... As interesting as it is, it seems to belong in the same area of psychology as profiling, it's interesting, none the less, but you literally have to be a mind reader for it to be 100% reliable, i guess there's a reason lie detectors and such can't be used in a court room. ***** Try not to pay too much focus on people's body language on it's own. You'll develop social connections naturally. There will be people you don't connect with so much but that's the beauty of life, right? Everyone's different, which is the point here, one person's smile can be completely different from someone else's. Infact, to contrast what the guy in the video is saying, if people figure out that you're blatantly just analyzing their every gesture, they'd probably find it strange. Just let social interaction flow naturally as it should, if we believe we can read people flawlessly it implies that we have a chance to manipulate them, that's not gonna go well lol.
+Dan Maginnis I absolutely have to agree with you, it's not at all 100% reliable. But it can be fairly accurate once you will built a solid baseline for the individual you are trying to read. Cold reading is nearly impossible. I can say though that I've been successful using reading skills for the past few years. They are extremely helpful during interviews as well at group social events. People reveal so much more than they realize.
Yeah, there are aspects of it that can be useful, it can help build a rapport with people, it can show a lot about personalities and you could see changes in people's behavioral patterns which could mean they're distressed or angry or whatever... But think of it this way... As much as we might think we know somebody, even spending months in a relationship with someone who you'd know more than anybody else.... If that person could get away with cheating without you realizing, if a best friend could lie to you successfully or any situation like that, that shows that even our expectations of people we know intimately well can be wrong.. So in that respect, you might as well flip a coin. Also people can act a certain way to hold rapport with you, i'm sure we've all met people we think we know, until months later when we feel like we know them 'better' or as if their personality has changed... Short relationships or whatever, they end and you say "i don't think this is working out", it's because that act drops and you're left with someone who you might not connect with very much at all. So having said that, all this body language reading stuff assumes the other person is being genuine, which isn't always the case... Even if they're trying to impress or deter you, it can be a shield or an open advertisement of themselves and i think it's rare that people will truly be 100% themselves when you first meet them. You really just have to get to know someone, there's no trick shortcut around that. (sorry for the essays lol)
+Dan Maginnis I disagree, even autistic people are relatively easy to spot since they tend to hesitate in their gestures. I put a large amount of energy into reading people at my job a few years back in sales; it served me well since I was ranked #1 at a Fortune 50 company making half a million a year.
After riding the bus to and from work everyday for around 6 months, I have been able to predict (without seeing who pulled the signal cable) with around a 95% success rate of who would get off the bus at the next stop. I am really proud of this because it means that I am able to read multiple people’s body language consistently.
He's truly amazing, idk if ya'll notice this or not but he never cuts or edits his videos, and that's truly rare yet incredible how he never forgets what to say or have trouble expressing something
thank you for all the inspiration. you have opened my eyes and ears to pay more attention to my own speech and those around me as well as you have shifted the way I watch all content. A movie for example is now much more interesting, good or bad because the analysis of speech, tone and cadence keeps me engaged and thought provoking. I'm inspired to use what I have learned throughout your channel to help create better content and be a better version of myself. Cheers
This channel is spectacular! Oh my gosh, how do I explain it? You guys are so awesome. And, this video is out of the world. Last week, I thought about this thing and I was seeking an answer for that, and, now the answer is here. I'm truly grateful for this. Dope! Thanks a lot for sharing these important things! I love this channel so much...💖❤ keep it up!
+Glen Bentley He's selling his advice. He's selling his shitty channel. No, I didn't watch it. I couldn't bear to watch it. As Danny Glover used to say "I'm too old for this shit"
+Peter McGill No qualifications - no information about himself. This is definitely some kind of scam.. preying on folks with low self confidence, for shame.
+Peter McGill Yeah. And as a former ICA I can tell he is good at it, though his goal is to engage you in the video rather than to get you to buy something. He is manipulating the audience, but if you think that is a big issue you have no idea how much you are manipulated throughout your day.
+Kimiko Tekuno I have to agree strongly. He's definitely selling something, but all he's selling is his UA-cam channel and his advice. You can pay by taking the advice and watching more videos, or you can reject the offer by going your own way and ignoring his stuff. I understand why people get that feeling of scam or something, but there's no motive - all he wants are your views, and in return he tells you what many people will actually try to get you to pay money for.
+AlexSuperTramp The ting is if your face is ugly that doesn't mean that your personality is ugly.If you can't somehow make your face better then you need to get your charisma and personality high up and get a good body and there you go you have just over powered your ugliness
+AlexSuperTramp talk to many very good looking people that aren't successful - millions of beautiful people end up poor and isolated because when young their beauty was enough, so they never polished other skills. people tend to think if you're beautiful you never get into troubles. That's wrong, if the personality doesn't sit right with people your beauty won't change that fact. If you're ugly but you have a great personality you can enjoy live and people will love you. More and more people realize, that the looks are on the outside, the important things are on the inside!
I'm a pretty well heeled, single, 50 year old man, and I find your videos- I just got one in my feed for the first time tonight, and I'm on my 4th one... anyway, I find them VERY interesting, informative, and useful! Keep up the great work!
Recommended books to learn psychoanalysis: -art of seduction by Robert Greene. -how to psychoanalyze someone by Scarlett Kennedy -psychoanalysis by Freud
I enjoy everything Charisma On Command puts out, so I'm game for more Charisma Breakdowns, Q&A's, Celebrity Breakdowns, GoT Breakdowns, etc. Keep it up, Charlie!
The show "lie to me" on Netflix a really good show to learn the basics of reading people. I highly recommend you check it out if you want to learn more about what hes talking about.
Also, this video is really nice, I enjoy videos like this in which you use real life examples to explain things. Demonstrating would help too, for example when you showed that you did the big eye thing!
Interesting how I already do a lot of this. I wonder if it has to deal with me being shy and how I'd constantly look at people constantly to see how they react to me and when I say something.
Can u do a video on tips for developing communication skills and speaking in flow without a script? Mainly how to eliminate filler words like "um"s," uh"s, "like"s, "you know" s etc. in day to day conversation. BTW.. love your videos!! :) one of the very few channels I've subscribed to.
+Lucy Hunt I've figured this one out and I have a lot of success with the following method: First you gotta point out what they said so they know that their argument has been taken into account. You have to point out the positive aspects of their thoughts and lay down their train of thought (This will give them a feeling of appreciation). After that you can bring your arguments and explain them why your way or thought is better than theirs. The easiest way to do that is by bringing examples and/or compair their ideas or conclusions to yours. If your conversation is about an opinion without real facts for support, it is very important that you point out that it is your opinion, because if you generalize your argument about an opinion, they can feel insulted or forced into a corner. They will cooperate or at least bring counter arguments to what you just said. Either way, they will get your point without being insulted.
@@Maniacsurvivor i think you'd be more successful in not bringing people to disdain you if you change " explain to them why your way or thought is better than theirs. " into " explain to them _why you believe_ that your way or thought is better than theirs." as assuming that you *are* right without considering that you could be wrong will come off as pretentious, belittling, and narcissistic.
Best channel recommendations Ive got so far... Everything said is so practical and simple yet so effective. I just wanted to compliment by saying great work. And a huge thank you.
*after watching this video*
Person: hi
Me: you’re lying.
yes
That's so accurate lol. That's why Psychology should be handled carefully.
I am with Shadow... Yes...
Hi
Omg it’s 4 am and my entire fam is sleeping but this had me screaming
Another charisma tip:
1.Carefully arrange a lock of hair so that it falls charmingly into your forehead.
2. White teeth. And if you don't have teeth, grow them.
TheBookieMonster LMAO
Question: What if you don't have a forehead?
+Lindsey Get one.
could you tell us why with the hair?
Look at the presenter.
I’d be so worried to interact with this guy. He would analyze me the entire time!
😄😄
Most people do
Everyone does, its human nature
I wouldn't because I can manipulate his analysis
Most people don’t analyze people to be weird or creepy. In my case I find reading a human behavior very interesting! And I don’t think this guy has any bad intentions when he reads people.
As a practicing sociopath, these video are vital to me. Thanks
Yikes!
why is this so funny to me omfg
because cringe
TheLifeOnHigh Sherlock?
TheLifeOnHigh Everybody thinks they're a sociopath because they practice social skills or are okay with violence. sheesh.
How to be more human
lol
Hahah the pic makes sense lmao 😂😂😂😂
Bruhhh
Says robot Jane doe
Zucc
Charlie, was standing in front of the camera intentional, to allow the viewer to practice our observation? Because I noticed a few things about why you're such a great speaker...
1) Good eye (camera) contact, 2) Making confident use of the space around you with your hand gestures, 3) Fluctuating rhythm and word pauses in your sentences, keeping us interested. Amazing job embodying your previous lessons!
Thanks so much - I really appreciate that!
Charisma on Command i noticed that too!
Andrea Tipton wtf
Yes, this is the only guy on youtube I can actually watch that speaks for a long period with no pause or cutscenes. Didnt notice exactly why until you pointed it out. Thanks
Andrea Tipton
1. Increase self-awareness (When you are forming, changing opinion about people?)
2. Find where their attention is (eye contact is huge), Where their body (parts) is/are turned. Interested in talking to you or not.
3. Get good at identifying micro-expressions.
4. Identify common patterns (We'll call you later - They won't, We'll come back - Probably they won't)
5. Make predictions based on other people's body language
6. Experiment in your own life
I was doing some of these while playing Uno with my family, I won all matches and got called a cheater.. I think prediction comes from how self aware you are, and it's a gamble. I placed a red 8, my opponent followed with a yellow 8. Many things I see here. One they didn't have a red. Two, they wanted two change the cards to their favor. Three, autopilot. Four, I can follow up with a red card If I can in case they don't have red, they would need to pick up more cards. Five, follow up with the same red 8 if I could because I doubt they have another yellow 8 or yellow card. It's just about how self aware you're about the next possible outcome, and taking a gamble.
This summarry is better than the 0.5k likes one
Timestamps ?
"When I was...21 because I had just started going to bars".
Sounds legit.
LOL
Aye Lauren, wanna go on a date ?
We were going into bars with fake ids at like 15 in the uk and the legal age is 18
Outrovert at 21
Lauren Van Bever ; why you don’t go bars no more let’s go my treat 👍
I am thoroughly impressed this whole video was done in one take. That's really impressive.
~ Thanks man :-)
11 is impressive. I only know two UA-camrs who can do this. Charlie here and Lindybeige.
@@alexandersh86
I still re watch Lindybeiges historical analysis videos. They're just too fun and engaging.
@@alexandersh86 one more is tom scott
Dude, I have to say that I admire your charisma, and... wow, you give this full speech without cutting the video and fully fluid. That's skill. Thanks for the videos!
Well said. I couldn't agree more.
I want to see Charlie try to say literally anything with his hands tied behind his back.
Every single word is animated.
Talking without hands is so brutal. I can do it on the phone, but whenever I tell a story or tell someone about some thing that's important to me, like, "Listen, I just learned...", I wouldn't go on unless my coworker or friend or so would look at me. After all, 80% of communication is body language, eh?
Mrmoocows99 he knows what he’s going to say next
He’s gonna make animations with his hands behind his bac.
Not to say this is a bad thing, btw! One way to come off as an energetic individual is by accentuating your statements with actions. Charlie is doing the right thing.
Thats something called articulator gestures, usually indicate confidence and make you look good. Damn did u learn anything from the video?
Couldn't focus on what you said. Distracted by your eyes and those teeth... Smile responsibly, you've got a killer smile.
I don't think i can trust every word he says. There's just smthg off about him.
+Joker That might be because he's essentially trying to teach people how to pass for human.
Angel Of Darkness SAME
had that issue to
AGREE
"To read others, you have to read yourself."
*_W O K E_*
Questhero101 Facts🙌🏾
Woke has lost its meaning.
It's the concept of Self-monitoring; being aware of your own body language and expressions, and it's impacts on those around you
But ugh, honestly, most of this stuff is too vague, and a majority of us have an socially acceptable level of all of this anyway.
There are no tips and tricks here to turn me into Victoria Coren
Chessburger
@@OnionYeeter All hail Ancapistan 😈💯
When you watch this kind of videos but never step out of your goddamn room. Yep, that's me.
anime profile pic. believable
I watch these videos to prepare for leaving my room
@Dinner Bone That, and because the world is full of assholes.
@@helrosshemlock9205 and full of nice people. just see them
@@thor498 Exactly
1. Be self aware.... when you form opinions on people.
2. Body language..... eyes focused, body facing towards you, replies to talking (no uh huh, yeah).
3. Make predictions for strangers...... monotone responses, hesitant choices, distance apart mean lack of familiarity.
4. Imitation.... not about size or color, just volume, speed, tone.
you really have nod idea what you are trying to say huh
wut
thank you! i was getting lost
she never make contact with me .. that why i was good
Read Anyone
1. Self Aware
2. Body Language
3. Make Prediction
4. Imitation
As someone with aspergers these videos are perfect for me. I appreciate it!
Same here.
Same but my adhd acts up. I have Aspergers as well
These are a godsend. I've learned so much!
Put the video at 0.5x speed and you have a drunk person giving you advice
lol
Jon your picture ... what a cutieeeeeev
hahaha ! 😃
Jon hahahahaha
2:16 lol
Overcoming your shyness is possible! For me, when I was about 20 I started trying to overcome my shyness (my nickname was "shy guy"), and I would just focus on one small thing at a time. I would go to a party or get-together and just focus on making a little more eye contact or not crossing my arms. 4 years later, I'm a way different person out in public and feel totally comfortable in a group! It can be overcome!
Shy guy? FROM MARIO?
Currently in that process. It’s going pretty well
This is an excellent video for sociopaths.
+Magna Proxy why are you watching it ?
+Magna Proxy
or for anyone who doesn't understand basics of empathy.
+Eric Weiss People on the autism spectrum do have empathy, but they relate from their own perception, so sometimes they have difficulty with seeing it from the other person's perspective. So they certainly do have empathy and they understand every aspect of it. Stop being an echo chamber of backwards information.
+Nick van der Wolde Echo Chamber of backwards information mmm yes I like that naming. Thank you dear sir
***** xD your anecdotal evidence is more supportive than the scisntific research on Autism? People with Autism reason from
their own perspective which is why it can look like they don't show empathy while in reality they simply don't factor your emotions in. Now if you look at a psychological profile without empathy you're talking abour narcicists and psychopaths. Being able to love, give and show affection, identify pain and love all identify that Autism has the ability has empathy. Let me rephrase this concept for you; having Autism does not mean you have no empathy. Having Autism also doesn't mean you ALWAYS have empathy. I mean a narcicist could have Autism and then he doesn't have empathy. You understand me now?
Recommended reading for learning how to psychoanalyze :
-the art of seduction by Robert Greene
-how to psychoanalyze someone by Scarlett Kennedy
-psychoanalysis by Freud
@@simongibbs5266 U really comparing some new artist to Freud?
K Rs what makes you think that a new science that Freud "started on" can't be improved upon 100 fold through massive scientific areas of expertise like "experimental psychology" Behavioural Science" "Genetic Behaviour" "social sciences" "Body Language used by FBI,The American judicial system for selection of jury candidates" "ethology" and the 35 year study of macro and micro expressions by a dr Paul Ekman /Friesen ? all put together with real world testing over Many decades?
I noticed for you it's your smile. When you show your teeth, you exhibit a feeling of trustworthiness. Is this done on purpose?
deeeeep
Nah, he just wants everyone to notice how crystal clear his teeth are.
To Me It Looks Like He Had Cut His Cheeks And He Has A Very Creepy , Trustworthy Smile. I Like It
His teeth are brighter than my future XD
Jennifer W ITS TRUST-CEPTION
this man would play an excellent joker, on a side note ive noticed this channle is good for just sorta "getting" how social situations sort of work.
I was thinking the same exact thing about the joker
as a matter of fact, he does look like "jerome", who will later become the joker on "gotham" series
lol glad im not the only one who saw it
exactly!
Jose Mansilla nah his twin does
basically wear your earphones while going home from school on the bus ? *without listeing to music but to conversations
Danielmeir smooth.
You don't need to wear your earphones to listen to conversations. You probably won't find audio of conversations on your phone that you would regularly listen to.
I mean this is just pretending that your occupied but reality is you’re listening
Danielmeir sooo mee 🤣🤣🤣
@@minecraftminertime he means to eavesdrop on people to understand the patterns/signals
This is very accurate. A friend and I recently had a conversation about our personalities. One of the things I mentioned about myself is the ability to read people. As Charisma stated, the first step in being able to read someone is first becoming aware of every aspect of yourself. This requires a lot of time and introspection. After I went through the introspective phase; I naturally tuned into other people and started to make predictions that were spot on. I used this for social experiments, and understanding people on a collective scale. It changed my life forever. From my experience it’s the best tool for effective communication, helping others, and resolving conflict. So don’t use this for malicious intent.
Remember with great power comes great responsibility.
I don't know if it's anything specific with me, but whenever people talk and behave the way you did in the video I automatically distrust and am put off by them. A lot of people see it as confident and convincing speaking, but I only ever see it used by salesmen and people trying to sell me something. It always seems like they're over acting and putting way too much thought into making their movements and voice friendly and convincing to try to reel people in. Which I guess works on some people, but I'm always really bothered by it. I don't know if anyone else feels the same way or if there's a more detailed explanation to it.
I do, that's why I'm scrolling the comment section. Sometimes his vids pop up in recommendation and I check what people say. My problem is, like you, this attitude is making me uneasy. I'm a pretty honest and observant person so this come out as Emulating charisma, acting like it instead of being it and it's repulsive.
I'm actually looking for a comment that I thought I had a screenshot of, regarding what we've said but can't find it.
I know him personally and I can asure you his charisma is genuin, however, I totally get both of your points. He is teaching amazing things, but thinking out of the box, looks like he always calculates everything he does or say. But to be honest, I just watch 3 or 4 videos and I could honestly relate to a few things he says, things I do without really realizing, meaning, there are people who are naturally like that, especially him, like what he teaches and there are some people who some of these tips would really help hem to be more confident, etc. I guess he just learned to notice it and take advantage of it. I mean, look at this, so many followers. This tells me he really learned how to take advantage of a natural gift and pass it over.
I mean, would't you love a person who is honestly this charismatic, honest and humble? I know I do.
PS: sorry for my grammatical mistakes, Im from Costa Rica and English is not my first language 😜
Me too!!
He’s literally talking to a camera. Obviously a UA-camr would be different without it. I know what u mean and am always aware of it on UA-cam but cuz I know that’s their media face, it doesn’t bother me
I hope you wouldn't follow somebody who's not genuine, or not prepared to do their presentation. This fellow is honestly sharing information that he's expert at. He's simply a teacher
This guy is running one of the BEST channels I've ever come across! Keep going brother!
°That's awesome to hear - glad you're loving it!
Damn.I'd hit that..subscribe button.
Welcome to the channel!
Due to the way i was brought up, i have always been gifted/cursed with reading people, but i feel like u should mention that certain people with mental health problems, sometimes do not follow these 'rules', infact they behave often opposite to the 'rules'
Huh? I mean, of course, but even then, it's really useful. Like, I used to suffer from depression and anxiety, but I was still able to read people (I work in sales and service, so I got a huge data base of experience). And whenever I meet someone with mental health problems, I can handle them as well - because you do notice that they got problems and can change your approach accordingly. Like, currently, I work in a gaming arcade with slot machines in the "ghetto". Like, there are lots of immigrants, people with health problems, addicts etc. Knowing how people basically behave makes you more aware of divergent cues... which I find especially useful when it comes to addicts, who might tell you anything to get you to give them money or even just a cigarette.
@@Imnottrainedforthis i was just thinking i have severe ptsd, anxiety and depression on and off for 13 years, the ptsd is what the even the doctors overlooked for the longest time, because due abuse suffered during childhood, i dont always show signs, and like my anxiety Makes Me not like looking people intrested eye for very long. Yet i am really self confident
TBH it not only applies to people with mental health problems, but also simply people from different cultural backgrounds.
I'm sure the dude in the video would be totally lost in Scandinavia, or Russia, where people doesn't show you feelings, or "act along" unless they are genuine. Even in body language.
@@joozemane9894 True, in part. That's when you need to be able to distinguish between universal body language vs learned gestures.
Any introvert knows how to read people, the extent may vary but i believe so
alicedesu xx we got a believer! Welcome to this comment chain, may i take your order?
Bushman Owl How to read anyone? Be an introvert :-)
Ivana Radojević exactly mate, but everyonr should take the MBTI test
Bushman Owl why is that??
read up on it, it's not that hard to awnser but i do not know at the moment
This is excellent advice! Much easier to implement for someone who is good at observing and analyzing the world. What I'm especially impressed with, though, is how you shot this whole video in one take. Kudos. :)
I'm new to your channel, but I'm happy to stay and watch your previous work. Thanks for sharing your insights and skills!
~ Appreciate it Arlena!
💂🏾
I concur.
What if I'm already a jedi?
I'm autistic with social anxiety and I have a hard time interacting with people. Nothing about it comes naturally to me, so your videos are such a big help.
Yours is a gift that allows you to stay head down while working on your great work. You're one of the lucky ones. ❤️💪🇺🇸
Why do you need to socialize?
@@chuckyyes
Humans are social creatures.
@@Raccon_Detective. let me rephrase, Why?
@@Raccon_Detective. what’s the gain from this?
charlie: "80-90% of emotions are occurring here" *gestures to face*
me: i see... so... you're feeling... handsome........ very handsome.
yes haha :)
One of most important comments here...
This guy must have like 50 black t-shirts :). Love your videos by the way. Keep up the good work!
They're actually white. I just have them edited to black in post-production. Just kidding! Thanks!
you got me confused there for a moment ^^'
ɷɷɷ I Haveeee Watched Thissss Movie Leakeddd Versionn Hereeee : - t.co/e6QlTccFx6
danget, I only have 3 black shirts ;-; lol, but yeah, it's easier to wear the same kinds of clothes so I won't need to think about my appearance, y'know?
no one ever notices that I have like thousands of shirts and only like 2 pairs of jeans.
they should teach this in school
Duane Potgieter no bc id fail 😂
then it wouldn't work as well
Yeesss
This guy should've been casted as the joker...
Small talk to manipulate Batman
It's his mouth isn't it? Wow I just visualised it. He would make a very hot joker.
his mouth is huge
Cast is already past tense
"This guy should've been cast as the joker" it's like when people say sheeps or irregardless
Him: "Go out and try this, that's the best way to learn!"
Me: *stuck in quarantine* :(
This is the first video of your channel that i've watched. I'm not English or American but it was easy to understand your explanations even for foreign people. Well done! I think that applying your advices will help me to read people and to predict how is going a aprticular situations. I'll continue to watch your video. They inspire me:)
Will definitely work on more!
ɷɷɷ I Haveeee Watchedd Thissss Moviee Leakedd Versionnnn Heree : - t.co/VmEuiW4mXh
O
no one then why is your name English and how did u write that in English
... You realize that he was saying he isn't American or English, meaning from America or England, right? People of most nationalities use the English language.
Eye contact 9/10 (You glance at the floor a few times)
Hand movements 10/10
Facial expressions 10/10
Stories 10/10
Movements such as leaning, liftign weights, etc 10/10
I've noticed this in all the vidoes you make. You take lessons from the people you study. :)
This is more about readind situations..
I think that the most important part of reading people, is conversation. To be more exact, paying attention at their answers, the way they answer, the tone of their voice and the expressions or moves that follow with their answers. These things reveal deeper things about them. This kind of reading happens to me with a automatic way, i mean i dont think about reading someone i just met, it just happens. If you ask the right aswers, you get a lot of information about them. Its like solving a puzzle, and with each piece you get (information about the other person), you connect the pieces (you get to know them). You ask questions based on their good/bad traits, their psychologic traits, their behavior, their thoughts. But you never do that in a direct way.
+AikoMonster If you would do that in a direct way they`d be creeped out and they would know what you`re up too, and noone wants the other person to know that you`re analyzing the person. That way they would be able to get to analyze you (easier) :D. And you get attackable
+lolmakeify Usually, you get analyzed by the people you want to. Friends, your new relashionship, family and even strangers or co-workers. You wont let someone that you dont like analyze you, because you will not pay attention or care to talk to them. So, its not a bad thing if you want people you like, to get to know you better:p We always reveal our deepest thoughts and self, to the people we feel most connected to.
+AikoMonster I decipher people by looking at them, they don't even need to talk.
+AikoMonster I used to work in sales and that's where I really honed my skill for reading people. I would continually try to read people faster so I got to the point that when I saw a person 30 feet away for 3 seconds I already knew how our conversation would flow and what product I would sell them and how much they'd buy. It gets easy since a large majority of people fit into a stereotype that I would use to my advantage.
As for the conversations: I would continue to tune my initial analysis but mainly focus on short term brain washing for them to agree to the contracts and products I was selling. I managed to be the #1 salesman at a Fortune 50 company and would go around teaching others some of my tricks. I still feel like there's so much to learn however.
+David Hayn that is called judging the book by the cover
I’ve been reading people for years and I agree with everything he said. There are very particular patterns that work or don’t work. Notice a person’s patterns. What do they do? Do they say they’ll call you later but never call you at all? Then they’re most likely a dishonest and distrustful person. Reading body language is also important. Not many people understand body language can actually tell you a lot about a person.
your body language and facial expressions makes this video amazing and not boring to watch :D
Gracias!
while I do agree that you arent born cofident or charasmatic you are born with a factor that will contribute to this which is looks if you are good looking people will like you more in other words you will be more charismatic. and if people like you more your confidence is boosted
a friend of death
Indeed; it’s called the Halo Effect... doesn’t he have a video on it?
To say these concepts (and others shared by this channel) are valuable to someone on The Autism Spectrum (people who are born lacking natural ability to read subtlety and body language, verbal queues, etc.) is an understatement. Excellent.
*Me watches this video*
Mom: So what doe you want for dinner?
Me: Don’t even try lying to me mother.
Hi do you know english
@@oneofthefansofniall4319 Hi, do you know grammar?
Seriously...that behaviour isn’t nice and doesn't benefit anyone!
@@cebee2106 I can sense the aggressive happiness in this sentence, you lying with your words!
@@hiscondition6007 What do you mean?
What taught me how to read people is actually years of waiting tables. You watch people in all different scenarios (families, dates, business dinners, friend groups, celebrations) and you learn by recognizing patterns. For career servers, I’d argue it’s an extremely psychological profession. Figuring people out can be very lucrative skill.
I am forming an opinion about your eyebrows
I'm not gonna lie, you made me laugh
That was super funny!
funny
Well i thought the same thing....
why did you say that. now i cant concentrate .lol
Dude, you should play the joker!
+dont wantto (aruje) Haha, I got the grin, unfortunately I can't act worth a lick
+Charisma on Command Most people who can cold read people can also act i think. You understand body language and tonality and you also know how to make adjustments in the way you "act". But maybe i'm to logical about it.
Me: *trying to build a new personality* This seems like a useful video.
Also ADHD me: concentrating on his gestures instead of listening.
Cringeeeee
@@isaachartsell3574
Cringe has lost it's meaning because of how much people use it, like the word simp.
@@Raccon_Detective. I honestly agree
I think micro expressions are the key indicators to tipping off my intuition. I've had people tell me not to assign meaning to my encounters, and while asking and clarifying is important, my brain has naturally already "read" what's being encoded. I would say my empathy is more in-tune than average and that has been useful in decoding ambiguous scenarios.
I recommend reading Gavin de Becker s book The Gift of Fear.
Do vid about Hans Landa (Christopher Waltz) from Inglourious Basterds
*Christoph
Yeeaah Charlie, do that please
+McEgge YES! DO IT PLEASE
Yes please do one on him
Christoph Waltz is definitely among the greatest actors at this very moment. Absolutely brilliant acting.
2:30 I absolutely cant stand when people don’t pick up on that. I’M TRYING TO LEAVE, I HAVE THINGS TO DO!!!
I honestly can't agree more
Same here.
8:42 me when my crush says anything
True
Um I can read people well that is not a face of attraction its a face of a psychopath I know because of experience
@@michaelsalvadge-burke2182 shut up
If she looks at me like that....she PSYCHO!
The second I click that mark a add started lol
It's crazy how smart this young guy is. Thank you for these videos! They really help with my confidence!
Muhammad ali breakdown! The most charismatic person ever lived!
Who's that?
+neiio Boxer
+neiio The most charismatic person ever lived!
I think Tupac was
+Banten hahaha, Ali was good but far from the best, the best is sugar ray robinson.
This guy has had some background in theatre. The way he's comfortable in front of a camera, the eye contact, the articulation, the use of the term "cold read" (a "cold read" is an audition where the actor is handed material he hasn't seen before and he has a few seconds to look it over and then he has to audition with it). I have a sneaking suspicion this guy has been in a show or 2, even if it's not his chosen profession or something he studied in college.
nice...
+Douglas Rau oh snap maybe you could also make a video about "How To Read ANYONE"
haaha
+Douglas Rau No, no. Cold reading is just gathering information about someone based on non-verbal cues like body language
+brotherzero The term "cold reading" has both meanings.
+brotherzero absolutely not. but you are less wrong than +douglas rau.
Cold reading is a set of techniques used by mentalists, psychics, fortune-tellers, mediums and illusionists to imply that the reader knows much more about the person than the reader actually does.[1] Without prior knowledge, a practiced cold-reader can quickly obtain a great deal of information by analyzing the person's body language, age, clothing or fashion, hairstyle, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race or ethnicity, level of education, manner of speech, place of origin, etc. Cold readings commonly employ high-probability guesses, quickly picking up on signals as to whether their guesses are in the right direction or not, then emphasizing and reinforcing chance connections and quickly moving on from missed guesses.
since wikipedia is obviously banned on your computer, use tor to access it anyways.
Develop self awareness. (A kindly meant suggestion for Hyacinth Bouquet, as well as the rest of us.)
Discern where the attention of others is focused. Pattern recognition. Make predictions.
This was great information - so well presented! Thanks! I’ll play this for my children! I hope they’ll take you as a mentor!
I'm gonna be so good at smash bros after this.
I hate and love you rn
bahahhahah
+August Celine III I thought the same thing lol
That's why I came here lol
+August Celine III I had already followed this guy, but I also play smash hoping he had something that could kinda help lol
I've never been able to read people - I have to rely on just asking people random questions straight out. This was great!
Ah, so that's why I'm so good at this stuff. I've always been painfully self aware, observant, and interested in psychology. An almost perfect storm. I found this channel and I mainly just watch to see if we use the same methods and have the same ideas which for the most part we do. I find it fascinating.
I couldn't read other people and it bothered me so I flipped it around and I started paying attention to myself and feeling how my face would move (micro expressions) and see what I myself was doing it about because to me that was foolproof because I didn’t have to guess per say I just had to form a theory and test it for proof- and since I could test it with myself in a first person POV with instant answers it took way less time to understand "if I do this, someone else probably does as well" and low and behold humans are very predictable
You are so logical and analytical on some kick ass levels! It's almost too good to be true that it's free info, knowledge. Just great! Seem so young to have this wisdom.
Charlie, I notice that whenever I try to improve my eye contact skills I get fed up in the thought process and I always end up super uncomfortable because I cannot keep my eyes somewhere without overthinking it. I don't want to stare at someones eyes all the time but trying to act natural makes everything worse. I want to make a genuine impression, not a creepy one. Can you share a quick tip to overcome this?
mazdarati2 Blink. Seriously, stop focusing primarily on where your eyes are, and listen to the conversation. This makes for better practice when it's a monologue, and your awkwardness is amplified, but leave your eyes to focus in between their eyes, and blink naturally. Your cues for looking away/blinking, responding, commenting, prodding, making gestures, nodding all come from the other person.
For example, if they're focusing just as much on you as you are on them, you're good. If they look away for a second, (commonly it's to recall something) then it's your chance to do stuff like that as well. You can initiate these interruptions yourself, to tone down intensity. I recommend that if you're extremely uncomfortable with the level of intimacy and communion and pure joy of connection a conversation offers. But if you want to learn to be less awkward, you should try to escalate the protocol, i.e. not look away, and be engaged more than the other person. This leads to a cycle of feedback (if they're interested as well) leading to very intense conversations. As always, working on a conversation beyond your comfort level improves your comfort with lower level of eye contact and such.
Anyway, in direct answer to your question, the key is to use a natural pause in eye contact-- blinking, to reposition your focus. If you find yourself distracted, you blink, reposition focus in between their eyes, and concentrate on the conversation. It's an awkwardness 'reset', so to speak.
ME TOO.
You need to see it as a challenge who is able to hold eye contact longer. This goes through my mind all the time and is also entertaining
mazdarati2 use the "face triangle", alternate between the eyes and the nose. You won't look like a staring creep and your eye contact will will be phenomenal. Almost make it a competition with the eye contact and holding it.
Instead of looking directly into their eyes, look at their forehead instead.
Don't know why but this dude looks like a really good video game animation
+David Strutt Plot twist: He is.
His proportions almost seem cartoony, but not in a bad way...so that...I guess...
+David Strutt Ikr like these robot kind of guys ih that movie tomorrowland
Maybe because of the video's low quality and low image rate. Also the set is very simple black Tshirt and grey background
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this. Thought I was going loony for a second there
as an intovert ,I can read almost anyone after talking to them or observing them for few minutes,it makes me sometimes uncomfortable and sad and highly sensitive,but I like it anyway 😊
najlae elaouad how ??
if you already knew, you wouldn't have clicked on the video. why lie?
@@hurpderp1430 Just because you think you know something to a certain extent doesn't mean that you are not going to learn or are willing to learn something new.(or in this case maybe a new technique)
Ok
It's not your introvertedness it's your extroverted intuition- big difference.
I really think that this is one of this channel's most important videos. If you can understand or guess what someone else is feeling you can adjust your behavior. And if you can adjust your behavior you can then change what they're feeling to what you want them to feel.
And the most important advice I can get from this video is: Try to make predictions
That's the only way you will know if what you're understanding is right or wrong and that's how you can tune yourself. And over time your prediction will be right more and more often!
Make a video on the Birdman interview. Put some respek on it!
pls clap
+Jeb Kush Mad respek
i respek this comment
+Jeb Kush lmaoooo
That video should be analysed lol
Can you make a video that explains how to talk in circles about obvious social cues for 11 minutes?
hey he's charismatic, nobody ever said he's intelligent. two very different things.
+ScarletKnight lmao v true
+Mike Turner What's obvious to one person, is a mystery to the other. Do you always react that way when somebody tells you things you already knew? Not very charismatic!
He's trying to help people out who have a hard time socially. Chill out.
+Biscuit Eater we're just having fun.
1:12 I think I read about this in a book called "Black Science". Supposedly is all five of your senses creating a sixth sense. Think about that feeling like your forgetting something. You don't know what your forgetting, but you somehow know you forgot it.
4:03 This is based on Dr. Paul Ekman's work on facial expressions.
I learned how to fake till you make it. In other words, I used to be so insecure. What I did is, instead of thinking everyone was staring at me for some reason bad, I started to pretend everyone was staring at me because they think I'm pretty and made myself hold my head high. Eventually I actually started to believe it and it made me learn how to like myself. What's funny is, once I liked myself, I didn't care anymore if they was looking at me at all. I noticed it also made me stop thinking negative of others.
it's interesting, alot of your social advice reminds me of simple games someone could play in society
The worst thing the human mind can do however is look for patterns where none exist so be wary.
Definitely. Some people might think there's a pattern somewhere when there actually isn't. It's like wishful thinking.
Charlie, fir of all, thank you for this fantastic content! My suggestion is pretty simple and I think it can uncover some hidden golden nuggets. I am a historian myself, particularly focused on military history. I am all too familiar with some of the most important figures in world history: Alexander the Great, Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler, etc. Interestingly enough, most of these leaders have the common trait of being written in literature and academic research as "charismatic" or "charming" as a key trait of theirs.
Now, of course we don't have footage from most of them to break down. But, I would absolutely love the possibility of engaging with the literature available on these characters and try to uncover what is it that was charismatic about them that played a role in their careers. Learning charisma from literature I believe is going one more layer deep, and I would love to see you do it. I am beyond certain there's plenty of undiscovered lessons these men who have transcended history can teach us.
Thank you!
hearing this guy articulate things ive subconsciously done for years is mind blowing
Although this is always an interesting topic to listen to... 'reading people' is very unreliable. You mentioned eye contact and body angle but you haven't taken into account that some people can be introverted, therefore that kind of body language doesn't necessarily mean they aren't paying attention, but it could mean they're anxious or it could simply just be their natural body language. Also, micro-expressions aren't entirely reliable either if someone flashes a smile when you ask them a question, it doesn't necessarily mean they like you, it could mean your question or something about you reminds them of something funny or amusing in their past that you are completely unaware of, something you say could unintentionally upset someone causing them to flash repulsion, doesn't have to mean you've offended them, just means you've triggered something negative in their mind.
It's just pop psychology stuff, interesting to ponder but not exactly this hidden super ability that we can all harness with training. People already have an innate sense of body language, you know what a wave or a thumbs up means without having to be told. You know what frowns and smiles are, you don't have to be taught how to hug or give a handshake. Anything beyond that regarding an individual person is just guess work and there's no real 'predictable' formula that matches all people.
+Dan Maginnis I encourage you to look up the work Dr. Paul Ekman has done on the subject. In fact, he's the one who discovered micro-expressions as well as the universality of facial expressions. There is a lot of science behind it and it can be reliable in telling you what emotion the person is feeling. You are correct in the fact that it does not tell you the cause of the feeling, just the fact that they are feeling it.
TheCJFrench Just looked him up, I've heard of Ekman and his lie detection quest from my university books... As interesting as it is, it seems to belong in the same area of psychology as profiling, it's interesting, none the less, but you literally have to be a mind reader for it to be 100% reliable, i guess there's a reason lie detectors and such can't be used in a court room.
***** Try not to pay too much focus on people's body language on it's own. You'll develop social connections naturally. There will be people you don't connect with so much but that's the beauty of life, right? Everyone's different, which is the point here, one person's smile can be completely different from someone else's. Infact, to contrast what the guy in the video is saying, if people figure out that you're blatantly just analyzing their every gesture, they'd probably find it strange. Just let social interaction flow naturally as it should, if we believe we can read people flawlessly it implies that we have a chance to manipulate them, that's not gonna go well lol.
+Dan Maginnis I absolutely have to agree with you, it's not at all 100% reliable. But it can be fairly accurate once you will built a solid baseline for the individual you are trying to read. Cold reading is nearly impossible. I can say though that I've been successful using reading skills for the past few years. They are extremely helpful during interviews as well at group social events. People reveal so much more than they realize.
Yeah, there are aspects of it that can be useful, it can help build a rapport with people, it can show a lot about personalities and you could see changes in people's behavioral patterns which could mean they're distressed or angry or whatever... But think of it this way... As much as we might think we know somebody, even spending months in a relationship with someone who you'd know more than anybody else.... If that person could get away with cheating without you realizing, if a best friend could lie to you successfully or any situation like that, that shows that even our expectations of people we know intimately well can be wrong.. So in that respect, you might as well flip a coin.
Also people can act a certain way to hold rapport with you, i'm sure we've all met people we think we know, until months later when we feel like we know them 'better' or as if their personality has changed... Short relationships or whatever, they end and you say "i don't think this is working out", it's because that act drops and you're left with someone who you might not connect with very much at all. So having said that, all this body language reading stuff assumes the other person is being genuine, which isn't always the case... Even if they're trying to impress or deter you, it can be a shield or an open advertisement of themselves and i think it's rare that people will truly be 100% themselves when you first meet them. You really just have to get to know someone, there's no trick shortcut around that. (sorry for the essays lol)
+Dan Maginnis I disagree, even autistic people are relatively easy to spot since they tend to hesitate in their gestures. I put a large amount of energy into reading people at my job a few years back in sales; it served me well since I was ranked #1 at a Fortune 50 company making half a million a year.
After riding the bus to and from work everyday for around 6 months, I have been able to predict (without seeing who pulled the signal cable) with around a 95% success rate of who would get off the bus at the next stop. I am really proud of this because it means that I am able to read multiple people’s body language consistently.
He's truly amazing, idk if ya'll notice this or not but he never cuts or edits his videos, and that's truly rare yet incredible how he never forgets what to say or have trouble expressing something
thank you for all the inspiration. you have opened my eyes and ears to pay more attention to my own speech and those around me as well as you have shifted the way I watch all content. A movie for example is now much more interesting, good or bad because the analysis of speech, tone and cadence keeps me engaged and thought provoking. I'm inspired to use what I have learned throughout your channel to help create better content and be a better version of myself. Cheers
Wow, I admire your range of facial expressions! Good eyebrow game
I found you by chance ! I gotta say this is an UNIQUE CHANNEL
There were a guy I liked a lot but he changed and now I hate him. At first he looked kind, quiet, and now he's very arrogant. He hid that very well.
dblshotz75 He wasn't even talking to me, lol we are just classmates. He just says hi, sometimes.
Victoria V If you have never talked to him then you really don't know him enough to judge him.
MsMelody245 I can judge him by how he acts around me.
Victoria V He's probably a narcissist!
Victoria V If he is acting like that ..... Thats how the guys act towards the girls we like ;)
This channel is spectacular! Oh my gosh, how do I explain it?
You guys are so awesome. And, this video is out of the world. Last week, I thought about this thing and I was seeking an answer for that, and, now the answer is here. I'm truly grateful for this. Dope! Thanks a lot for sharing these important things!
I love this channel so much...💖❤ keep it up!
I can read you. You're selling something.
+Peter McGill I'm guessing you didn't watch the video.... Does have that feel though
+Glen Bentley He's selling his advice. He's selling his shitty channel. No, I didn't watch it. I couldn't bear to watch it. As Danny Glover used to say "I'm too old for this shit"
+Peter McGill No qualifications - no information about himself. This is definitely some kind of scam.. preying on folks with low self confidence, for shame.
+Peter McGill Yeah. And as a former ICA I can tell he is good at it, though his goal is to engage you in the video rather than to get you to buy something. He is manipulating the audience, but if you think that is a big issue you have no idea how much you are manipulated throughout your day.
+Kimiko Tekuno I have to agree strongly. He's definitely selling something, but all he's selling is his UA-cam channel and his advice.
You can pay by taking the advice and watching more videos, or you can reject the offer by going your own way and ignoring his stuff. I understand why people get that feeling of scam or something, but there's no motive - all he wants are your views, and in return he tells you what many people will actually try to get you to pay money for.
I actually think you're hand gestures are great. It creates a bond.. as if we are actually having a conversation.. keep it up..
Thanks so much :-)
Me: Stop swatting flys....stop.. plz stop... STOP YOU FUCKING JERKK.
Can you make a video about how to cope with being ugly?
+AlexSuperTramp :(
+AlexSuperTramp Gain some confidence, mate. You sound like you need it.
+AlexSuperTramp The ting is if your face is ugly that doesn't mean that your personality is ugly.If you can't somehow make your face better then you need to get your charisma and personality high up and get a good body and there you go you have just over powered your ugliness
+AlexSuperTramp
hahahah
+AlexSuperTramp
talk to many very good looking people that aren't successful - millions of beautiful people end up poor and isolated because when young their beauty was enough, so they never polished other skills. people tend to think if you're beautiful you never get into troubles. That's wrong, if the personality doesn't sit right with people your beauty won't change that fact.
If you're ugly but you have a great personality you can enjoy live and people will love you.
More and more people realize, that the looks are on the outside, the important things are on the inside!
I'm a pretty well heeled, single, 50 year old man, and I find your videos- I just got one in my feed for the first time tonight, and I'm on my 4th one... anyway, I find them VERY interesting, informative, and useful! Keep up the great work!
Charlie, you're remarkable!! This information is invaluable because it teaches people how to improve regardless of the situation and circumstances.
I already know how to read people. But then again I'm quiet and no one even suspects me lmao
Keanu Herrera
~~ wallflower🌹
Hehehe same 😂
Do you have an insta
Those are the best readers the quite ones
Recommended books to learn psychoanalysis:
-art of seduction by Robert Greene. -how to psychoanalyze someone by Scarlett Kennedy
-psychoanalysis by Freud
Just subscribed. Great channel. Specially helpful when you're teaching students. Keep up the good work.
Glad to have you!
I enjoy everything Charisma On Command puts out, so I'm game for more Charisma Breakdowns, Q&A's, Celebrity Breakdowns, GoT Breakdowns, etc. Keep it up, Charlie!
~ Love your enthusiasm! Thanks for the support. :-)
The show "lie to me" on Netflix a really good show to learn the basics of reading people. I highly recommend you check it out if you want to learn more about what hes talking about.
How to read anyone?
Easy.
Just put words on them.
But then you're just reading the words not them
@@MrPatmacintosh well, you read the words on the book right? Not the book itself.
Ctfu
Beautiful
Jojo reference?
Also, this video is really nice, I enjoy videos like this in which you use real life examples to explain things. Demonstrating would help too, for example when you showed that you did the big eye thing!
+DoglinsShadow Will keep this in mind - I'll try to tell more stories in these
You have one of the best channels on UA-cam! Listen and watch your videos every night 🙌🏽 thank you
Interesting how I already do a lot of this. I wonder if it has to deal with me being shy and how I'd constantly look at people constantly to see how they react to me and when I say something.
Can u do a video on tips for developing communication skills and speaking in flow without a script? Mainly how to eliminate filler words like "um"s," uh"s, "like"s, "you know" s etc. in day to day conversation.
BTW.. love your videos!! :) one of the very few channels I've subscribed to.
You could do a video on how to disagree with people. Like without creating conflict and the person still liking you.
+Lucy Hunt I've figured this one out and I have a lot of success with the following method:
First you gotta point out what they said so they know that their argument has been taken into account. You have to point out the positive aspects of their thoughts and lay down their train of thought (This will give them a feeling of appreciation).
After that you can bring your arguments and explain them why your way or thought is better than theirs. The easiest way to do that is by bringing examples and/or compair their ideas or conclusions to yours.
If your conversation is about an opinion without real facts for support, it is very important that you point out that it is your opinion, because if you generalize your argument about an opinion, they can feel insulted or forced into a corner. They will cooperate or at least bring counter arguments to what you just said. Either way, they will get your point without being insulted.
@@Maniacsurvivor i think you'd be more successful in not bringing people to disdain you if you change " explain to them why your way or thought is better than theirs. " into " explain to them _why you believe_ that your way or thought is better than theirs." as assuming that you *are* right without considering that you could be wrong will come off as pretentious, belittling, and narcissistic.
IMHO charisma IS inherited, like height, eye color, perfect pitch etc. But it can be improved, and you are a great teacher.
Whatched one of ur vids and really liked it already subscribed
Glad to have you!
Me: watches video
Friend: watches video
(Separately)
Both of us: tries to read each other
Conclusion: yeah it didn’t work
You're both bad readers. Huuuge red flag! 🤣
😂😂😂
Props on doing this in just 1 take
Best channel recommendations Ive got so far... Everything said is so practical and simple yet so effective. I just wanted to compliment by saying great work. And a huge thank you.