Signposting: self-help for Dissociative Disorders such as OSDD and Dissociative Identity Disorder
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- Опубліковано 13 січ 2021
- In this video from The CTAD Clinic, Dr Mike Lloyd discusses his concept of Signposting. This is a type of internal communication that has been seen to be effective in clinical settings to help people with Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) prepare dissociated parts / alters in advance of something about to happen. New or different experiences can be challenging and threatening for people with traumatic histories, and Mike describes how signposting can help alleviate anxiety internally, reassure parts and improve the ability to approach such situations.
#reflectionsfromtherapy #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DID #OtherSpecifiedDissociativeDisorder #OSDD #Trauma #TherapySkills
After I decided to re-establish contact with my family, I spent years feeling mounting anxiety everytime I went to see them, which revolved around the feeling that I would "lose control" or "lose myself" when in their presence. Little did I know that I had DID and what I was feeling was a combination of some alters feeling distressed about seeing my parents and some alters feeling it was their job to take over when my parents were present.
After our DID diagnosis, we had a system meeting before seeing and coming out as plural to my parents. We were able to decide that all the Littles should be placed in a protective room further back in the head space, that several other alters didn't want to interact with my parents so they could stay back there too, what the protectors should look out for and how to respond if that happened, and we designated 3-4 people that we were all okay with fronting during the meeting. That was the first time in about 8 years that we were able to go into a social event with my parents WITHOUT that mounting anxiety. We were all on the same page about how to handle things and so it was no longer a source of worry.
Apparently you have gotten therapy.
You did that too? Wow.
@@sr2291 the book got parts can help you set up safe areas and communication 😊
the problem is so much in trauma healing is all about how the threat is over but that is not the case in all cases. i have severe childhood abuse trauma but also severe racism trauma and the threat from the racism is still there and causes a lot of my symptoms
Fascinatingly enough, it's us who have to remind Dawn (our Host) that everything is going to be ok. Some of us are better at understanding life's chaos' and how to plan for them. I, Jay (you would call me a "Protector"), was born for this job so I guess it comes naturally to me. Dawn found these videos recently and I find them very interesting as I have been introducing these techniques for years now, Guess you could say I feel validated in my point of view/ideas.
To all the systems out there. I see you. You aren't alone and you can do this.
I just want to say as a newly diagnosed individual with DID, your content is incredibly helpful. Our therapy has mostly been trauma handling with various alters and DID specific help has been a bit thin as a result and we often find ourselves struggling with things that are related. Your content has helped so much in becoming more stable and we are likely to be able to go back to work soon! Thank you so much for what you do, I really appreciate it.
Seem stabilization is job one. Learning communication is step one. Going into trauma before there is cooperation or at least awareness is not something we could do. And it has been a while trying. We have had to learn to "leave" some things for later.
Thank you, Annie!
Thankyou for the reminder that everyone doesn't have to stick around for every experience. I first used this technique in a therapy session, and it was so powerful.
Glad to hear it, Lana!
On knowing that "now" is safe: first it needs to be objectively safe. Some people do not have safe living spaces, safe relationships, etc. How parts feel (usually small and unsafe) often doesn't match the adult's objective reality. That isn't their fault, but it is an error most of the time. We survive childhood by watching certain people and places who aren't reliably safe. Understanding how that pervasive unsafe experience develops helps. Janina Fisher's "unblending" approach helps me tremendously. From the first moment I tried it, it worked. When I have no objective reason for a feeling, I assume that it is part's communicating, and I show them the reality: I am an adult, I drive, I work, I have $$, I am seen as a professional, etc. Safe 2.0 is developing the skills to manage other people's misbehavior with assertiveness and knowledge,. and showing parts the smallest of successes, not waiting for the big wins. A good life is a series of small wins.
@ 9 mins. We have a nursery where Little Ones are safe and taken care of by Annie! I have found that when I promise a Little One that 'I have got this' and that he/she need not fear, that we are 'big' now and will take care of her - then I automatically become much more assertive than I usually am in a given situation because I have the responsibility of keeping that promise. Plus I never make promises that I cannot keep :-)
This is a great example of the process of signposting, using confidence and skill. And yes, never make promises that cannot be kept!
Thats pretty cool.
How does one develop the confidence to convince the alters that everyone is safe? That's a huge problem we have. Nobody is ever safe or able to confidently tell other parts they are safe. I imagine that must be relatively common in DID. Not sure. Thank you for this video. You're one of the few content creators I wait for with baited breath, so to speak. Again, thank you.
Oh, we also have almost no internal communication. Just an FYI.
I find the combination of Yoga Nidra, and positive audio tracks to be very helpful in reprogramming my negative thoughts. Once you're used to relaxing just your body, add the positive sound without trying to mentally engage with it, just let the kind words enter your mind. Over months, I became much more able to give myself similar messaging.
@@juxtaposition22 Thank you for the suggestion. We might try that. It makes a lot of sense. We really appreciate it. 😊
I have this same issue, and until I (the host) can work on larger personal self esteem issues I’m planning on trying to do a work around where I find stuff that is true I can focus on.
So instead of being like “I can handle this and take care of us/keep us safe,” (which I have no confidence in) I’m thinking of focusing on things like
“We’ve made it thru rough times before,”
“We have people/structures/resources in place to help,”
“This stressful thing is only temporary,” or “I will do everything I can to keep things stable” and anything else that is situation specific that might help.
Idk if this makes sense bc it’s kind of hard to describe but I’m basically gonna try to spin things into their most positive/reassuring but also still somewhat true form.
Idk if it’s gonna work (my upcoming stressful thing is next week) but I figured I’d share my idea w you in case it sparked anything helpful for you.
This is the issue I’ve been hung up on in therapy. No one is actually truly ever safe. Anything could happen to anybody at any time. So while I am trying to convince myself of that, no one else will entertain the idea 🙃
@@alittlehairymonsterby feeling safe usually what they mean is your not going to be attacked by those closest to you. Therapists are aware that anything COULD happen but how LIKELY is it to happen? Bad things aren’t really as random as a lot of people think. Going off the basis that most systems are created by parental abuse, that’s not even random. You ended up with your parents but they are the ones who continued the cycle of abuse. Knowing how to defend yourselves as adults is a good step to feeling confident that you are in fact safe. Even if someone were to try to harm you.
We know who the safe people in our life are, and even if someone doesn’t know who that is directly they know the person is safe to turn to. And we’ve recently had new,y discovered alters doing this. My suggestion is finding those safe people that you know you can rely on, easier said than done. And also working to make your personal bedroom as comfortable and welcoming as possible for anyone new.
Something as small as having one truly safe person and one truly safe place is often enough to boost that confidence.
Thank you so so much for this. Getting (actually) practical tips for surviving this disorder is hard to find, and this whole video was so helpful on so many levels. We’re newly realized, later in life (30), and it’s been a pretty traumatizing experience. This video has been probably the most helpful online resource I’ve found thus far. It’s a beacon of hope. Thank you thank you thank you.
Hi feverm00n, thank you! This is exactly what we are hoping to achieve with the channel. Knowing that it means so much is wonderful.
with me, all my alters have to be in agreement before I can commit. I have went on a vacation that my my alters were against. i ignored that, and the trip was an emotional disaster. I learned that lesson the hard way.
Thank you Dr. Mike! It's great to see you posting again.
I so appreciate your videos and how clearly and reasonably explain things. You take so much fear and muchness out of a DID diagnosis.
A litte thing I just noticed: maybe I'm one of the fewer ones that feel a bit uncomfortable with this but the perspective, the angle of the camera makes me feel as if you were slightly above me. This triggers (for me) parts so that I choose to just listen. I assume many of your viewers have some kind of abusive past and I can imagine that this can be difficult for other survivors, too. Maybe you want to change that in the future but besides that: great Videos and please keep it up!
@@rachelrose8901 because someone asked a question once here you automatically assume they go around badgering people constantly? trauma survivors can come to a channel dedicated to helping us and very politely point out a trigger and calmly ask a content creator to slightly change something like a camera angle. they were not making a ridiculous request, weren’t rude or demanding, and this IS a space specifically for people who are triggered by things all the time! you’re being presumptuous and it’s a bit invalidating. you don’t know how many steps this person already takes in a day to avoid triggering themselves and you have no valid reason to assume they just completely avoid any personal responsibility.
I understand both of these comments...
One is true and second is also true, but snds defensive. Lets be open to communicating n seeing povs without taking offense or without hyper vigilance if that is what happened. We all need to helo each other understand everyone is different.
@@gracelove2774 I am very new to this discovery of my different aspects(haven't found the right words yet) Dr Mike's videos are not only informative, I find parts of myself reacting to him in ways that surprise me. Some videos I find myself staring and leaning close to the screen. Watching others i suddenly realize i have my hand firmly across my mouth.Sometimes there is childish delight at discovering him. I wouldn't want him to change how he does his videos.For me they seem to be allowing insights/connections that I didn't know where possible.
@@gracelove2774 Lovely thoughtful response!
I can't put the video full screen because the doctor looks you straight in the eyes and that scares me .. but I think he's kind and smart.
Oh Mike. Your information is exceptional. Always helpful, insightful, valuable and long awaited. Appreciate the time constraints but please do not stop sharing your expertise and experience with us. Thank you. This piece helped me to see how I have been talking at my others instead of with them, not listening very well - early days for us with internal communication...and much fear.
Thankyou - gonna try this asap....feel like ive naturally being doing some of theses steps. Now i can get even better at thisn
That’s good to hear, the hope is that all these techniques are quite natural.
Thank you so much for this!!!!!!! You have no idea how much this has helped. We can't get a therapist and are struggling every day, these videos are a blessing. Please make them more often if you can. Sending love to you. 🤗🤲🙏
This is something that we did before our SRS. As host I made sure everyone was okay with what was going on beforehand. The day before the surgery I started hunkering everyone down and we slowly brought people back after we felt that they were okay to interact with the body again. I didn't think I would have a male alter have a massive wave of dysphoria 6 months later, but such as life and the experiences of having alters.
Sounds like you did some great work, there, well done!
Similar story here. Didn't learn we had DID until after transition and the male alters in the system aren't particularly pleased.
The number one thing that isn't talked about regarding these "issues" is about feelings. The main thing we do is disassociate from the feelings we endure. Honestly, you hit the nail on the head. But we have to talk about our feelings more and thats hard for a lot of us as we just feel apathy when another isn't present
@@WingHugs yeah, it was just fun seeing the FTM side of things. I couldn't help but laugh as he was freaking out
Rewatching this after diagnosis several months ago: Extremely helpful. I will be using this for upcoming airline travel!
Thank you so much for this. We have a bulletin board that has fallen into disuse and have just started to discover when our traumaversaries take place. This advice will come in very handy.
I seriously wish the NHS had the right resources and training
..unfortunately my experience is NHS has not even recognised child abuse as trauma. They just medicate the symptoms. NHS is for damage limitation, especially for emotional/ mental wellbeing. They have never had the money to pay for trauma therapy. I gave up on nhs after 15 years believing they know what to do for me. From 2004 I have found private therapy from many therapists I could afford on benefit and odd jobs until 2016 I forced GP to refer me to the Maudsley traumatic stress service. I had a year after diagnosed CPTSD & D.D. until covid closed the hospital. So I found private trauma therapy using neuroaffective relational model (NARM) therapy via Zoom and now Gestalt/Internal Family systems therapy in person. It helps me to integrate feelings from the various ages I dissociated to survive each trauma. If NHS had admitted they could not afford what I need but told me there are private therapy models, then I could have moved on and learned self care alot earlier.
This is really helpful! Thank you Dr. Mike 💜
Can't thank you enough for this video - despite extensive self-researching, I've not come across the term signposting and had found little in the way of actually how to increase communication between parts. 👏🏻
Emily
Hi there Emily. Thank you so much for your kind comments!
Is this why "I" would freak out whenever I had to do something outside my/their comfort zone? I never understood why I couldn't just go to a wedding like a normal person, pre diagnosis. I really hated family gatherings, esp on one parents side. Wow, interesting. I just thought I was being difficult for no apparent reason.
It certainly could be! Worth trying at the next ‘thing’ to do perhaps, but practicing on small, simple ‘things’ may be a good idea.
Thank you so much for your videos! They've been incredibly helpful to me, and I appreciate the time you've put in to make them.
This was incredibly useful for us, thank you so so much for making this
Thanks so much. I will try it out for my appointment next week.
Super helpful! Thanks!
Hi Dr Lloyd, I think the letter for hospitals/medical appointments etc is a fantastic idea and would help enormously.
Take care and thank you for everything.
I have a draft developed that will be placed on the website soon for people to download and change to suit their own circumstances. Thank you for the positivity and reminder to get on with this!
This was super helpful thank you. We have a big thing tomorrow and I needed some advice on how we can manage the thing and this was just want I needed to hear to manage us tomorrow. Thank you for sharing our knowledge and insights
Dr. Mike, thank you for this teaching. So let's say that I have three alters who were bound, strangled ("choked"), suffocated, and smothered during childhood rapes and tortures, and they remember this vividly. They are absolutely unable to wear a face mask or covering of any kind, and this has limited what we are able to do in public. Could we "put" these sweet kids into a "mental safe place," and have everyone else in the system go do the public things with the mask? Up until now, we've been mostly at home, but lately, we've been venturing out in public with no mask. Scary at first! The more you challenge yourself, the more you build your confidence that, yes, you can handle this "scary thing." You are right about celebrating the triumphs, and being that person in your own life who will say, "Well done, thou good and faithful system." :) Thank you so much for making these videos. I feel hopeful that we can have a good life with a different way of being, and become healthy, stable, productive, and strong. Thanks!
Very informative thank you
Thank you so much for all your videos, but especially this one as doctors' / dentists' appointments are a nightmare for me (CPTSD) Have you written or know of any good books on this type of self soothing? You explain so clearly, calmly and factually in your videos and they really help me. Have you considered releasing meditation or relaxing cds on this sort of topic? Maybe you have already? Somatic Experiencing has made me much more aware of what I'm feeling and Progressive Muscle relaxation also helps me a great deal, but this could really be a great way of calming down and learning at the same time. Anyway, I'm learning so much from your videos, thank you for taking the time to make them.
Thank you.
Great video. I've done a little bit of this before in our journal when I can feel negative emotions from parts about an upcoming event but I'm not sure where they're coming from/who is upset. I think I'm going to create a dedicated section for signposting now in our shared spaces and do it more consistently so the others get used to sharing their views and being heard/consulted
thank you doc
This was very helpful- thank you!
My pleasure, glad this is helping.
Thank you so much, you've become a reference for us (our system)
This was amazing. Thank you so much for everything.
Thank you, Tojo, glad it is helping!
@@thectadclinic Your videos are very much appreciated by systems across the world!!
Hiya. Not sure whether or not this is too much to ask, but could you do a video on OSDD-1a? I suppose the things we're wondering is. 1) Is it valid? 2) Should you distinguish your parts? 3) Do you have experience with 1a systems, if so, is there any just general advice you would suggest? Thank you!
Just a reminder that a OSDD-1A system is just as valid as any other system! You're completely valid! - Phil
I am not a clinician I'm just someone diagnosed with osdd-1a but I can tell you for me personally it was important to label my parts and get to know them so that I could tell them apart otherwise it was confusing I feel like knowing your system is the first step towards recovery
@@Alessastarz that’s exactly what i’ve done. but thank you for your input!
hey, amazing video Dr. mike. i defiantly do this and need to work on fixing it.
Good for you, I hope it goes well!
My teenager has been recently diagnosed with FND and Dissociative Disorder. A large chuck of the memory has been blocked out. It has been like this for over 4 months. It has effected movement, ability to learn and write. School are not understanding, my child is struggling and School will not award mock grades which was taken before the FND. Having to retake the exam seems to be triggering more symptoms of both conditions. I'm still awaiting counselling and Physio. My teenager is complaining of pain and stiffness. Please can you do a video for for teenagers. Thank you.
Thank you. I know this is difficult sometimes, but having intentional captions would be helpful.
I'm not diagnosised by a professional (because im a minor and have more difficulty talking to a therapist but planning on it in the future) but I am 100% sure I have OSDD-1b and its scary and confusing. Its very difficult to communicate within the mind is very difficult. And i have amnesia with one alteration (or known as alter). I havent been dealing with this since I was 6-17yo and is very difficult and confusing. This helps alot thank you!
Thank you, I really hope you find some help near where you are.
Thanks for the video, we had never thought about the connection of excitement and anxiety... We find inner communication extremely difficult. We're always trying but it doesn't seem to be "allowed", inner communication triggers destructive loops. No idea how to deal with this.
What if you don't have self confidence of safety and seeking therapy has repeatedly been either useless or extremely harmful?
Which sound like really difficult situations. Perhaps look at Janina Fisher’s wok on the Window of Tolerance to look at how to improve skills and resources?
I love this idea. I will definitely be attempting it. My husband and I are having a home built on plot of land in which I experienced a lot of trauma. The situation is one I'm trying to overcome. But its not without challenge.
You mention internal communication in this video. Im quite curious of you might know the answer to my question. Why is it there are times where communication and thoughts of alters are easy and other times it feels as if we are very separated- with little to no communication internally?
It's a good question, but one that I think can't be answered here, it is likely individual to you. I am really pleased to hear about your building, though, that sounds amazing. I hope it goes well!
Yikes. That's all I e got. And sage. Lots of sage. And bury some small crystals in the ground with some kind of ceremony with friends and trusted ones there, bringing good things to bury in the ground underneath? (Stones etc., Nothing problematic.) Burn pictures in a ritual of your own making? Bring believers in such things.
idk if this will help you but this is something I did to help me "take back" traumatic spaces in my room... I filled them with things I love. it took over a year but now I feel comfortable being in those spaces of my room again bc I created a new association.
best of luck with your new home ❤️
Review often until completely processed. Begin 101422
Do u mean review thus video?
Would you be able to discuss how to begin communicating with other parts, when there is no communication at all. Thank you.
Hi Nina, there is another video on the channel exploring this. I hope that helps!
Cool :)
I’ve found out I have did/alters but I’m finding it difficult to relate to any of this, nothing is difficult for me and I find it hard to communicate with them, I feel like sometimes what’s the point of knowing because my life is normal with or without knowing :/
hi I have a question. I m a scientist. basically my life is discussing and writing about concepts, complexity, and linkages and patterns in data and ideas. In all such discussions, I am fully there and concentrate well. But when I go to some simple places like a sport class or parties etc. I zone out frequently and even freeze sometimes. Is it because of how my brain is used to work on many projects every day and when I go to non-complex places I kind of zone out to rest? It was a very challenging tennis class I had few days ago where I was not really there and my body was not agile at all. I was slow and not able to react fast. But after the class I had meeting with my co authors at night and I was again sharp and fresh! Why is that? please respond. and thank you.
Hi Shahilagh, we aren't able to offer individual consultation on this forum as we don't have sufficient clinical information. Such detailed questions are better located within therapy sessions.
Where I live, there is no therapy for DID.
We have most symptoms of OSDD without amnesia, but don't experience distress after learning from the resources already available online and from other systems. We don't really feel like we qualify for or need a diagnosis, but there's a lot of worry that if we consider ourselves non-disordered then we'll be seen as fake- should we seek one out when we can? We can't right now, but should that be something we strive for? Do we need that?
It could be that for you the only need for a diagnosis is to get a referral for a service, or for assistance at work/education etc
@@thectadclinic Thanks, I think that might be helpful (not that i know who "I" am lmao)
I am going insane with dissociative amnesia I don't think I can't recover from this mess I don't know what is reality or illusion I try everything to manage my situation but it's seem hopeless to me plz help
Sorry to hear this, and I really hope you have support and help to figure it out, because it can improve.
what if the medical procedure itself is frightening and painful. i'm haveing a great deal of trouble not being able to go to these appointments because when i do i will go straight into flashbacks. I don't have a doctor any more so i have no idea what to do - any tips would be welcome. Your doctors there must be much better - i don't tell anyone here. Just saying that i have a trauma past and have ''bad panic attacks''( my way of explaining a flashback) They will ask me questions like, are you going to bite me? or hit me ? Not kidding. Too many crap movies i guess.
Also my psychiatrist recomensed emdr and I saw that lady and she said she didn't know if I thought I couldn't take care of my kids after sessions or tell her about my past bc it's too difficult to talk about that maybe it's not a good idea at this point in time. I went to a day treatment in my 20's but they wanted a timeline of my past the first day. I couldn't remember everything but what i did was too much especially in a group setting so I never went back.
Any decent trauma specialist knows that people with dissociative disorders can decompensate quickly when talking about the past. We really need to make our lives in the present better: more stable, more effective, and more calm. You didn't do anything wrong. They didn't know how to help you effectively. My therapist is an expert in using EMDR for DID, and she is unhappy that the majority of EMDR trainers (professionals that train therapists in this technique) don't all accept how they need to adapt it for us. Find someone that has that training, and it can be really helpful. Without it, you are indeed at risk with that technique.
My dissociative symptoms first appeared after my initial EMDR session. Scared the daylights out of me. I would never recommend EMDR for dissociative disorders personally because of what I experienced, and the lack of knowledge surrounding how to implement it correctly. Ie... lack of proper training.
The following 'problem' can arise: you move to an other city, or you go to a wedding, or you go to a little event: as 'who' am I gonna present myself, as 'who' am I going? Which part to choose, which part to 'play' ? Extremely distressful and exhausting.
Yes, that can happen, completely depends on the nature of the structure of the dissociation
Short and sweet. What a pity it's in English. My colleagues and patients could benefit a lot from listening to this and many of them don't understand English. Polish resources of this type are scarce.
If you know Polish, you could translate it!
@@hijislay3618Of course I do! It's my mother tongue. But I suppose I need the author's consent. A great idea anyways.
@@teresatabor2334 You could try asking him for permission to translate and share it forwards.
Our therapist of 10.5 years is retiring in a month. Can/How can we use Signposting to help everyone with this ending & transition to our next therapist?
Absolutely you can, that is the sort of thing it is precisely useful for.
Thank you, Dr. Mike. We will get on this right away!
My girlfriend has d.i.d and I notice that when she uses Drugs I notice her behavior worsens and her alter act out how does this effects her in the lond run
Is anyone willing to help tell me what to expect? I'm new to this.
I'm not sure why my post doesn't stay. If this is repeated pardon me.
New diagnosis. Don't know insiders. Medically invasive genitourinary test today that is nearly identical to what was done by medically abusive doctor as a child. This is a good video for me as I get ready to go. Feeling I need to write down your numbered points and make sure test person 1. Is a woman. Check. 2. Knows I am a survivor of capital T urinary trauma that required surgery. 3. Bringing a friend but she doesn't know about new DID diagnosis, and I won't tell her. I'll deal with what I need to if I need to. Ask forgiveness than permission type of thing. And me, the gist is scared. I imagine others are as well. Staying consciously grounded as to current environment may be the secret. Thanks. I don't know the tech doing the testing and only met the doctor once before. I will tell them I am a survivor, not that I am DID. Internal safe space great idea. I've cancelled once already. Today is the day.
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We really needed this and it feels good to understand that I can try to help the other parts to calm down when they start to get upset about something and that I will be the one in control and help us be safe. Thank you so much!! 🌙🪄✨
Thank you.