How to Deal with Mean Comments & Hate Mail

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  • Опубліковано 15 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 112

  • @asanee44
    @asanee44 Місяць тому +5

    I get quite a few negative and mean comments because of the nature of my content - it’s not mainstream, and most people fear it out of ignorance. So, I was ready for that battle before I even got started.
    If someone disagrees with me respectfully, I typically engage with them politely. I am very open to intellectual dialogue, even if I don’t agree with the other person’s stance. That’s how we grow as humans.
    I usually block and delete overtly disrespectful comments, especially if a person resorts to calling me, my followers, or other innocent people names. I don’t really care about them saying negative things about the content. I just hide those types of comments if they only provide degrading input that doesn’t add value to the dialogue. I refuse to deal with abusive behaviors, so I block individuals who bring that type of energy.

  • @EritsStudio
    @EritsStudio Місяць тому +13

    Lol my heart dropped when you used me as an example 😂 I love your channel btw ❤

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +3

      Oh good! Glad you didn't mind. It was the most recent comment I'd gotten when I was filming that day. It was so sweet that I felt bad even pretending to hide it to demonstrate how 😅

    • @EritsStudio
      @EritsStudio Місяць тому +4

      @@ByPageTurner haha nope I don’t mind at all 💕✌️im honestly very grateful 🌟 thanks for showing us how to do it and sharing your side on this topic 😄 can’t wait for next video 💫

  • @Robgilltrading8
    @Robgilltrading8 Місяць тому +3

    I reply to the mean comments in a very positive way as they are usually just sad jealous people, they hate it when you are positive. They are actually few and far between. Keep up the good work wonderful stuff.

  • @ImageMaven
    @ImageMaven Місяць тому +3

    I’m a new fan of yours. Love your videos. Great advice in this one. As a female with a 95% male audience and making content about photo tech, I often get mansplained. But it’s amazing how some of those same males come to my defence when I get a troll or an unfounded criticism. I think in general that UA-cam does a great job of controlling trolls. And my favourite tool: Hide User from channel.

  • @JacquieManifests
    @JacquieManifests 26 днів тому +2

    To be public on social media you have to have that self talk about trolls to be mentally ready. Just remember this ...
    1. The truth is that only unhappy people say mean comments out loud, they are truly struggling with themselves so don't take it personal as hard as it may be, know you're doing so much better than them.
    2. Mean comments will still make the algorithm push your channel because it thinks you're getting engagement 😂. I've gotten mean comments and I give them a like and sometimes I'll reply with a thank you 😊.... after all, they are helping 🥳

  • @CreatorsBurnout2Brilliance
    @CreatorsBurnout2Brilliance Місяць тому +3

    very well said. use the tools to limit or block hate comments, you want to enjoy your creator journey to the max. Remember this.. "hurt people, hurt people" and although this does not condone their behaviour, people who are hurt for whatever reason in their lives "mirror" their hurt onto others and where better to do it than social media, especially when they can do it by hiding behind a screen name/anonymously. Take some comfort in that they see something in you that they actually "do like, or want or desire but don't have, so it is never anything personal about you. Great topic, Page you are a wonderful individual. Everyone, Keep creating, stay healthy 💯💯👏🏼👏🏼

  • @ChristianCareerJoy
    @ChristianCareerJoy Місяць тому +2

    This is so helpful. I didn’t know about the hide comment feature! I will definitely be leveraging this.

  • @DarkerThings2023
    @DarkerThings2023 Місяць тому +4

    Ah, argue is to reward. So true. Reminds me of the “why are you giving them so much power?”

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      yesss it's very much like the whole "don't let obnoxious people live rent free in your head" thing

  • @dpgoogleuser3106
    @dpgoogleuser3106 Місяць тому +3

    Thank you so much for taking the time to address the reality and struggles of being a youtuber.

  • @Busybee8597
    @Busybee8597 Місяць тому +3

    I also got a mean comment from a hater stating that I was grinning like a witch!! My feelings were very hurt and I deleted the comment. 😢😮. Thank you for this video. It really helped me

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +2

      Like a witch? Wow. I personally am always really unimpressed with someone who makes fun of another person for smiling or the way they laugh. Picking on someone for their expression of JOY. Imagine. How miserable they must be!
      I'm so glad you found the video helpful! Thanks for the kind words.

    • @schoolingdiana9086
      @schoolingdiana9086 22 дні тому

      What would that even look like? I have a very video imagination and I can’t even conceptualize such a thing.

  • @sharonthomas8807
    @sharonthomas8807 Місяць тому +3

    Thank you so much, I've been wanting to start a channel for a while and honestly this is one of the main things putting me off. That's so reassuring that I would be able to protect my energy ❤

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +3

      I'm so glad! I was really excited to make this video once I got that question, because I know it have helped ME a lot when I was first starting out.

  • @QrooSpanish
    @QrooSpanish Місяць тому +1

    The haters make you money too. I love to point that out to them...lol.

  • @JasenomadeTV
    @JasenomadeTV Місяць тому +1

    Yep, that is my option, Option 4 and 4 too. "thank you for sharing" is my response when I feel like responding to "constructive comment", otherwise I hide and ignore x - very valuable information as always. Thanks Page ❤

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +1

      Sounds like a solid approach. You're welcome

  • @knorman717
    @knorman717 Місяць тому +5

    I’m SO with you on the boundaries in the comments section! I’ve been LOVING the “hide user from channel” feature. I had one day recently where strange comments and messages just kept coming, and it really helped me navigate all of that!

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +1

      Yesss... I think the Internet would be a more substantive, constructive place if more people used it more often 😅

  • @EritsStudio
    @EritsStudio Місяць тому +6

    Someone left me a mean comment because I wore a crop top in my video. They told me they left a dislike too lol 😂 people get offended over the weirdest thing 😅

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +2

      Yep. Lots of projection and personalizing. It's exhausting sometimes

  • @jylromain6439
    @jylromain6439 Місяць тому +3

    I'm not on FB right now, but maybe I'll go back one day so yes, I'd be interested in any info you want to share. As someone who finds psychology fascinating, I enjoyed your comments. As for your hair and voice, I never thought about them. But since you mentioned it, I like both.

  • @dannystravelvlog
    @dannystravelvlog Місяць тому +2

    This topic hits close to home. I’ve been dealing with this for a while now. One strange phenomenon is that the more I argue with the trolls the more traffic is driven to my channel.

    • @schoolingdiana9086
      @schoolingdiana9086 22 дні тому +1

      Some difference of opinion helps the algorithm. That’s not hateful folks who act like they never had parents, though.

  • @5canwalk
    @5canwalk Місяць тому +1

    Clear and sensible response options!!!!

  • @classicaljg
    @classicaljg Місяць тому +1

    This is really helpful, thank you so much - I’m never sure how to deal with mean, bad faith, or just plain bonkers comments! (I’m a history channel so you have to keep a really close eye on some of it…)

  • @40LOST
    @40LOST Місяць тому +1

    I really don't understand hate comments🥺 like,what's the point? If you don't like something about the creator or creator's content - don't watch🤷‍♀️ You made a good point - analytics tell much more than a comment.
    Thanks for sharing!😊

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      Yeah, I've always been more of a lurker myself online to be honest. If I don't like something, I typically will roll my eyes and swipe away -- and if it's particularly awful, I might tell the software not to recommend me that channel/page again.
      But to each their own, I guess.
      Thank you! Yes, analytics are really honest. They're what people DO. And I've always heard that actions are more honest/telling than words. So I look at the actions (stats).

    • @40LOST
      @40LOST Місяць тому

      @@ByPageTurner so true! And good analogy😊

  • @lotrfanhome
    @lotrfanhome 29 днів тому +1

    I just got trolled the other day. Couldn't help myself, I had to respond, "Are you having an orcasm?" I watched him pile onto a different person, different post with a bunch of others, like you say, and I thought to myself, they're forming an orcasm orcanization. Now mind you, this was a Middle-earth fan group where the trolls are expected, but he never responded to my question. I would have been happy to explain to him what an orcasm is.

  • @THEWAYISEEIT-ChuckCobb
    @THEWAYISEEIT-ChuckCobb Місяць тому +2

    I am amazed at what will set off some people. I never thought saying thank you for your comment would upset them even more because I am a 69-year-old man with earrings. Your video came to me at just the right time. I will be using the "hide" button soon, I am sure. I can have a friendly discussion with anyone but I will not engage with anyone that starts off with "mean and nasty". I have the control in my "magic finger" to remove them but I think hiding is much better. Thank you for this video.

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      You're welcome. Yeah.... I always try to remind myself when someone acts unhinged like that (what you described is a great example), that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.
      Glad to help!

    • @schoolingdiana9086
      @schoolingdiana9086 22 дні тому +1

      My dad is 84 with earrings. Not sure why anyone would think earrings at any age is weird.

    • @Darkervibes
      @Darkervibes 10 днів тому

      for some people they never learned emotional regulation as children and didnt heal as adults..now they walk around like a raw nerve ending making it everyone else's issue lol

  • @HowWeGotHere
    @HowWeGotHere Місяць тому +2

    Positivity goes a long way

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +2

      I don't have time for people who aren't constructive ngl 🤷‍♀️

  • @GirdaBerzerker
    @GirdaBerzerker Місяць тому +1

    Hiding a comment was not on my radar! Thank you for the new tool!

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +1

      You're so welcome! It's a great tool when you need it.

  • @maryghostwriting
    @maryghostwriting Місяць тому +2

    Oh! Why didn’t I think of this! Thank you 🥳

  • @hazzieandnord
    @hazzieandnord Місяць тому +2

    This video is helpful for me and always found myself weighing how to respond or not respond. Thank you!

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +2

      Sure! It definitely helps me to break it down to the psychological level both the commenting side while also weighing my own mental health and what I want for my platform -- and basically make decisions based on what I want the future comment section to look like 🤷‍♀️

  • @kuusikko6599
    @kuusikko6599 Місяць тому +2

    This was gold.
    Thank you so much!

  • @danny1stoll
    @danny1stoll 14 днів тому +1

    Very helpful and interesting insights. I never thought of the delete as a form of reinforcing bad behavior.

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  14 днів тому

      Thank you! And yes, that one is a bit counterintuitive but definitely appreciable.

  • @MatthiasLenardt
    @MatthiasLenardt Місяць тому +2

    Very well elaborated! Thanks for sharing your wisdom 🙏
    It will help lot's of people.
    Much love 💕
    Matthias 👋

  • @LiLaLizzy8
    @LiLaLizzy8 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you so much for making this video. This is so helpful, especially the psychology on how to (not) engage with these people and the depth of information on this topic. Thanks again Page!

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      Thank YOU for the great question!

    • @LiLaLizzy8
      @LiLaLizzy8 Місяць тому

      @@ByPageTurner Awww!!! You are welcome :-)

  • @LunaGuides1111
    @LunaGuides1111 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for sharing this!! As a new UA-camr I was always worried about this.

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +1

      You're so welcome. I worried about the same thing when I first started posting online, but it's so manageable ♥️

  • @TheRoamingGomes
    @TheRoamingGomes Місяць тому +1

    How I deal with mean comments is as simple as possible. I reply with this: 🤣 and nothing else. I can only imagine their faces when looking at it. LOL

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +1

      There you go. Glad you found something that works for you!

  • @ReedRobins
    @ReedRobins Місяць тому +1

    Great video as always!!! This one really exceeded my expectations (I clicked without looking at the duration, which BTW is a compliment in itself). In any event, I love hanging out with you no matter what the topic. Have a great day!

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +2

      Hahaha thanks! Yeah, I know it's a long one -- but I really wanted to do the topic justice, and it's complicated, there's a lot of ground to cover. In my mind, this is a VERY important issue and I really wanted to make the video that would have helped me when I was first starting out.

  • @NomadicPride
    @NomadicPride Місяць тому

    This is really good advice. When I receive criticism (here or elsewhere) I weigh it to determine if the person is providing _constructive criticism_ or _destructive criticism._ If I feel the "advice" has a destructive bent to it, it just gets ignored. ...or in the case of YT, shadow-banned.

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +1

      Yes! There's some interesting psychology behind why people write mean comments I might go into in the future (depending, I'm getting so many good viewer questions that I am busy making episodes on those).
      But briefly, people WANT to make some kind of impact upon the world. And this drive is called "effectance."
      You can achieve effectance by creating OR destroying.
      Since destroying is easier and requires less ingenuity/creativity, many folks do that instead of building. 🤷‍♀️
      Depressing on one level. But handy to keep in mind if you've got a hater.

    • @NomadicPride
      @NomadicPride Місяць тому

      @@ByPageTurner Fascinating.

  • @RockyMountainPuzzler
    @RockyMountainPuzzler 22 дні тому +2

    I didn’t know about option 4 definitely one I will remember when I need it.

  • @rburns5495
    @rburns5495 Місяць тому +1

    Just launching my first you tube channel and this was such a helpful video. Thank you

  • @MomsTravelTeam
    @MomsTravelTeam Місяць тому

    you're an author, Page Turner, Page Turner - is that a play on words or a great coincidence or your pen name - love it. Thank you for your content. 1st and 5th options and reinforcing / rewarding the behavior - I get it - I was a preschool teacher and had occasions when kids would misbehave for attention.

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      Aww glad you like my content!
      One of the first videos I made here was about why that's my name: ua-cam.com/video/lAkHqOJAZ6s/v-deo.html
      It's my most frequently asked question from readers.

  • @deranaomi
    @deranaomi Місяць тому +1

    This is so frigging helpful! Thank you for doing this.

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      You're so welcome! I was really excited to do this one. Glad you liked it

    • @deranaomi
      @deranaomi Місяць тому +1

      @@ByPageTurner I'm actually recommending your channel to a young artist who is nervous about posting her stuff on social media and Etsy.

  • @Spec1alD
    @Spec1alD 24 дні тому +1

    good topic! im learning so much from you! thanks have a great day!

  • @HomesteadMadeEz
    @HomesteadMadeEz Місяць тому +1

    Thanks for the great advice!

  • @theeternaloptimists365
    @theeternaloptimists365 Місяць тому +1

    Love this video! It is so helpful. You make the best points on dealing with trolls. Thank you.

  • @ToothTalksTravel
    @ToothTalksTravel Місяць тому +1

    Hey, I love your content and really appreciate you investing the time to make it. I let most comments go, but if they say things that are just not factual, I hide them. If they are just banter trolls, I go 'James Blunt' on their ass. I get behavioural science, but I'm a badass as long as they're not worthy.

  • @jerseyhead.u
    @jerseyhead.u Місяць тому +1

    I had one of those!! When I was getting started I posted on a random video, and a random guy decided to throw shade at me completely unprovoked 🙄. I ignore his posts, but every now & then he’d still say something nasty. I went with the shadow ban option. Nowadays I just assume every time there’s a new comment I can’t read or click on, it’s from him 🙃
    You’d think when you continue to ignore someone they would find something better to do, but hope 🙂

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +1

      Glad you shadowbanned him. Ai yai yai 😅

    • @jerseyhead.u
      @jerseyhead.u Місяць тому

      @@ByPageTurner 🙌😁

  • @Crazydoglady.
    @Crazydoglady. Місяць тому +1

    I have googled this many times 😂
    Thanks

  • @vasilireikh1328
    @vasilireikh1328 Місяць тому +1

    thank you! incredible stuff

  • @seedelle3883
    @seedelle3883 Місяць тому +1

    Very helpful. Thank you

  • @laceycsonnier
    @laceycsonnier Місяць тому +1

    Thanks a bunch!

  • @Seatheworldwithkatandmik-jh2xz
    @Seatheworldwithkatandmik-jh2xz Місяць тому +1

    Hi thank you I got my first bad comment. I think I will hide them. It is so funny I watch this video came back to watch it again!

  • @BlueViking70
    @BlueViking70 7 днів тому

    Thank you. Some great tips and advice in this video. I'm starting a new channel end of October and was wondering what the options were regarding dealing with keyboard warriors.👍

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  7 днів тому +1

      Oh good! Glad I found you at the right time. Yeah, I basically spend zero emotional energy worrying about keyboard warriors these days. Moderation tools help a lot.
      And I probably should have mentioned this more in the video, but I conducted some experiments on my first UA-cam channel and found ZERO difference in my channel growth when hiding people who were being anti-social in the comments versus allowing everything.
      Sometimes people are worried to hide the comments because they think it'll hold their channel back, but the quantity of comments matters a lot less than it did on original UA-cam.

  • @woofandwonder
    @woofandwonder Місяць тому +2

    Someone left a mean comment because I used the word “solopreneur”😂

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому +2

      I believe it! People can be so unhinged

  • @AmandasBudgets
    @AmandasBudgets Місяць тому +1

    I needed this especially after I did a face reveal

  • @DarkerThings2023
    @DarkerThings2023 Місяць тому

    Madness of Crowds...Like "Herd Mentality"?

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      Yup! Madness of crowds, herd mentality, bandwagon effect, social contagion, even social proof to an extent!
      Humans can be very monkey see, money do -- for better or for worse. 🐵

  • @TheArizonaSinghs
    @TheArizonaSinghs Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for this

  • @Karl-Bohemian-Nomad
    @Karl-Bohemian-Nomad Місяць тому +1

    Thanks. Great video

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      Aw you're welcome! glad you enjoyed it

  • @AgingOnYourTerms
    @AgingOnYourTerms Місяць тому +1

    Great tips!

  • @TGOweny
    @TGOweny Місяць тому +1

    I deal with mean comments a different way...

    • @ByPageTurner
      @ByPageTurner  Місяць тому

      Hey, there's no one right path. Glad you found something that works for you!

    • @TGOweny
      @TGOweny Місяць тому

      @@ByPageTurner most people when deeling with hate the right way is just ignoring or removing the comments, but i feel sometimes if they think your someone they can just be mean to nd bully for weeks or months, then you sometimes have to show them that your not just gonna take that