I literally don't understand it, e.g. when someone is being pulled forcefully the scene is played in slo-mo, the lightning is bright and there's happy music like the frick
Absolutely true.And what I find extremely disturbing is the rich man poor woman storyline.Most of the time,the guy who is extremely powerful bullies the woman into submission with the infamous line"You are MINE" and we treat them as possessive and romantic when in reality it is emotional abuse.And this not only applies to kdramas but many other dramas and even books I've read(even western contemporary romance). People seriously need to stop this.Its so wrong on so many levels
The scenes that Koreans never got over with, as of 2021: 1. Wrist grabbing 2. Pushing female to the wall 3. Forced kissing I dont even find this romantic at all.
And then after the actresses make their eyes wide due to shock. People's comment be like- These actresses don't know to kiss at all. It doesn't seem natural at all 🤦🤦
Because it isn't romantic. It is abusive. I've been watching some Japanese old dramas and of course there are a few bad scenes here and there, mostly inappropriate words to women, not always but sometimes depending on the drama but I haven't seen anything this bad.
it's always the male lead who has "trauma" and takes it out on female lead. what if the female lead has trauma too? it's irrelevant bc her only purpose is to be pretty, forgiving and "heal" the male lead.
OMG! Yes, when I read the comments on the drama Love in sadness which actually IS about abusive marriage than the wife gets plastic surgery you will see how the fans will be so compassionate over the abuser and say that the female lead let him down and that it was her fault that he got to where is is because that is her job to calm his storm and to safe him and heal him. The guy hit her and forced himself on her and pulled out a pistol and fake shot her like WHAT? I’m assuming that these were young 14 year olds but that’s even scarier to think that they feel this way.
I think i finally found the reason why i have always been rooting for the second male lead in older romance kdramas, cuz the second male lead are often depicted as the opposite of the first male lead, more gentle, calmer, kindhearted, and more respectful towards the female lead
@@preciousemeka3546 SPOILERS!! yeah but how the story was is that Ok Taecyeon is the typical male lead... At the first part of the show, he was shown more and he is the Love Interest of Suzy! He is tough, fights, and her “protector”. Kim Soohyun was the second lead. Suzy wasn’t interested in him at all. He has qualities of a second lead. He is the comic relief, the kind one, and he never leaves her side.
@@preciousemeka3546 the sites were changed a lot... I remember that when it was aired everyone thought Ok Taecyeon is the male lead because he harasses Suzy basically. They had the first kiss. Only in the later episodes did Suzy like Kim Soohyun.
I remember a Chinese romance where a guy throws a girls ring out into the snow and she spends hours digging through the snow to find the ring again and bring it back to him for him to love her. This video reminded me of that because I was like 1. come on, dude, why would you throw that? 2. come on, girl, why would you be that desperate? He just threw it! lol
@@samandsophia5632 yeah but the whole plot of the series is the FL trying to break away from the common trope of weak girl falling for the bad boy. And that scene was forced by the writer on her character, not her own choice
I watched Well Intended Love, where the FL approaches the ML because she finds out she has cancer and needs his help only to find out he orchestrated the whole thing because he liked her. Such a toxic plot.
This and it's the same with novels. I've read countless where a guy is just a jerk with a girl and it was because "he likes her" or "he had bad past" and i was like nah this is so toxic.
@@هدي-ه8ظ Ehh, I can kind of see the toxic masculinity. It's like saying a man isn't allowed to be outright affectionate towards you or confess his feelings in a non-aggressive way, that he has to be "manly" and tough and not show genuine emotion. Which falls under toxic masculinity.
in middle school a boy broke my arm and the elderly were laughing at the story at telling me he did it because he likes me........wtf???????......also the school just told me to ignore it cause that's what boys do)))))))
@@pandaluna1751 Yesssss. That "boys will be boys thing". No. Dudes need to get language classes to learn how to speak if the only way they know how to express themselves is through violence or indifference and aloofness.
It's abusive tropes like these that delude young girls into thinking they can change an abusive man in a relationship with their love in real life. It never ends well.
I seriously hate that mindset, a person's trauma has to be dealt by them and only them a supportive s/o can only be well, supportive, and that's enough, you can't "change" anyone, you can encourage them to seek help, suport them through their journey but that's it. They are their own person who has to work put their issues and you are your own person who has your own life. Their issues are only theirs, you can't magically make them disappear through the power of LoVe.
YESS LIKE EVERY SINGLE ML LEAD MUST BE RICH AND CEO FAMILY! UGH! while the second male lead is simple, kind, and nice person! But OFC weak, stupid, and clumsy FeMC don't need them ugghhh....
Ya fr. When they introduce a hot billionaire or a bad guy or a hot guy who bullies her in school/college....my first thought is "here u go another typical story where these hot mfs are toxic, having distrubing past the excuse for their "toxic behaviour" and mc will try to heal them but others will say how mc is a lucky girl coz the guy is hot"💀
Make the lead unattractive and change the music and all of a sudden it's no longer cute or funny. Ppl don't realize it was never cute or funny to begin with.
You see these scenes where less attractive villains harassing female leads and the male leads rescuing them. The only difference between the so-called male leads that those villains is that the male lead is more attractive . I know these dramas are not real but sometimes I wonder about the life of the characters after the credits starts rolling on the screen. After the so-called “and they lived happily ever after” scene they imply at the end. How long can the fl tolerate the over controlling character of the ml?
It’s also interesting how the aggressive male leads become nice after dating the shy sweet girl. But the girl doesn’t gain anything from dating such a guy. He doesn’t add anything to her life other than unnecessary stress and possessiveness. He’s the only one that’s gaining anything from this forced relationship. Clearly toxic
For the female lead they say "you are lucky" just coz she got a hot bf when in reality wtf will she gain by a toxic guy who is just GOOD-LOOKING??? He gained a lot coz he became a good person... bitch HE IS LUCKY not HER.
Yeah, because essentially she becomes a vessel of HIS humanity. The man doesn't change anything within himself, he only "improves" through taking credit for his woman's good qualities. He lives through her and consumes her empathy, generousness and a far richer inner life, while reminding her once in a while that she will be punished if she ever tries to separate from him. And all the negging is done to gaslight her into thinking that she's not good enough and no other man will take and protect her. I no longer buy the "it's just romance fiction" excuse, because it's all really similar to the tactics that abusers use on their victims in real life. The fact that girls are taught that this is romantic is kind of like collective grooming on a massive scale.
@@joshua_here5849 If they will hit you if you are "forcing" them, like OP said, then that is self-defense. However, if a female lead behaves like an abusive male lead, that is abuse too. Not many would agree with me but, Ko Moo Young in "It's okay to not be okay" was also very manipulative and abusive. Her personality disorder may explain why she was like that, but that doesn't make her behavior romantic.
As an old person, and a foreigner, I have always had the idea that such behaviors in Korean Drama must in some way reflect a cultural truth about Korea. We here in America like to think it's different here. But it isn't. You describe the situations so well, and you provide visuals that make your points stick. No woman will ever "tame" an. abusive man. It just doesn't work that way. Women all over the world will recognize the truth in this. Well done!
That’s one of the many reasons why i didnt like boys over flowers when it came out smh. I was a kid but all i saw was a boy bullying a girl into like him back.
yess i used to like boys over flower since it was my first drama, but when I rewatched it again I realized how messed up it is actually,. i was so disappointed when the female lead didn't end up with the second male lead.
In my opinion the part of the trope where "the guy becomes a better person because the female lead changed them" is the most dangerous part of it all... I have met way too many girls who believe this type of shit can happen and then think that enduring this type of abuse is a way of showing love. No, girl, showing love is sending this guy to a therapist, and this is showing love to both yourself and to the guy.
I agree completely! Women cannot change men! Only when the men want to change for themselves and to be a better person then they can. But if they don’t want to change they won’t no matter how hard a girl thinks she can try to “help” or “fix him” It’s that toxic thought of “oh he will change for me because he loves me and I love him and I’ll make him into a better person.” Umm no use your common sense and leave them be.
Luckily, MOST of kdramas are like what you want, they are very egalitarian and condemn any abuse. I like that about kdramas. Few violent kdramas like Boys Over Flowers are exception rather than a rule. Except the grabbing the hand. THat is in most kdramas. But without any violent action after. kdramas are not perfect and are the best out there...
I can't describe the peace I felt while watching Run On. Absolutely love the scenes where the female lead comforted and stood up for the male lead. They always supported each other and maintained their personal space. I need that kinda relationship in my life
@@Sophia-vj8sg I enjoyed Legend of the Blue sea,it wasn't the best, but it was a good watch. Their romance was sweet and they respected each others feelings.
Everyone in the comment section praising the new female leads for being strong and protective are still re-enforcing victim blaming when they're complaining about other female leads NOT being strong. Because its the fault of these women for not protecting themselves or being weak. These women are important and yes its refreshing but not all women have it in them to be like them so these "weaker" women shouldn't be put down for it. Neither of them should be.
And tbh I don’t think the best way to show a strong new female lead is to present one that can harass ml and doing all cliches that a guy usually does to date a guy...
@@yuanProduction yeah i think they misunderstood when fans said they didn't like it. "Oh so you think the male shouldn't harass the female oh ok we'll make the female harass the male that'll be perfect." Harassment is still harassment no matter who does it to who. It just defeats the purpose. A strong female lead doesn't need to be aggressive, able to fight, or manly to be cool or a strong female lead.
I feel like these two things do not have to be mutually exclusive. Like a lot of the audience of these shows is women and it is empowering to see these women stand up for themselves and even dump the asshole. To know that you can have power in such a situation. It doesn't mean that a woman who can't stand up for herself is ever at fault.
@@mayananji yes i agree. I love seeing empowered women as much as the next girl but i also hate it when the girl is being blamed for not being 'strong'. Not all women can fight or are interested in it. Or even just being sarcastic, sassy, or tough. I'm thankful these strong female leads are being shown and they are important but women who don't have it in them to be that shouldn't be blamed for it.
Also excessively possessive male leads are NOT attractive like wtf ... she got male friends and you're gonna be effed up about THAT ??!!! All your past trauma has to be endured by the girl for what ???!! Girls ain't rehab centers for damaged men has been said so many times but these dramas jut say f off to that whole theory... a single scene like that spoils the entire drama for me and I'll not watch it no matter how popular it's said to be .. for me it'll suck :)
exactly! Girls are not some magical healing unicorns for guys to deal with their childhood traumas. Vice versa. I mean yes ppl do change and become better in a love relationship. But sometimes these dramas are going too far. But yeah I guess people wanna see some crazy tensions on tv
@@GigiM_winx dude no i wouldn't first off having a bias is very inferior compared to liking someone and even if such a thing was done by someone i liked I'd dump their ass and move on 'cause those are the basics of self respect hope you get the idea and broaden your horizons ... and if you're still not satisfied then there's nothing i can do to help you because helping or dealing with people who have messed up their very concept of self love and deserved respect under the pretense of any culture is not my responsibility.
These sorts of aggressive men irl scare me to death. My mom always said, "Men, in general, have more anger than females. Men being calm is a miracle". She's right. I see it every day when I go out. It's sad really.
So much of this. Honestly, I don't fear anything but I definitely fear the anger of a man. Because you can never tell what he may do to you or to others.
"Something in the rain" is too shocking. When you are sexually assaulted, you would expect your s/o to support and understand you... "why are you scared of trash like him?" bc he's stalking and physically attacking her ??? unbelievable!
That one made me the angriest. How could someone ever ask that question? She got stalked and assaulted, and he has the audacity to ask her why she would be scared of him?! Of course it's scary!
I think this show is not the best example. Jun Hui along with Jin-a's brother go to confront that ex-bf/stalker guy because he was harassing Jin-a. Also, this drama also portrays workplace harrassment in a very real way. So maybe this show is not that toxic.
Actually, I think that misses the point of the drama. It tries to be realistic, and his reaction is, most of us were blamed in such situations. The other ones are filled with cliches. i even recommend watching one night of spring, from the same author. She tries to portray prejudices an abuse without flinching away from the topic by making it clear that it's not the girl's fault. She tries to make it so blunt and in your face that it leaves you astonished to a whole lot of abuses that are commonplace in asian life.
I'd like to add that some of the kdramas these days add tropes like mc's mother who is considered "dominant" and the father to be "soft" or so and its seen that she always hits him or verbally abuses him and these are all scenes shown as "comic relief" when its still abuse.
i was pinned against the wall in front of the entire class when i was in college by some dude and he wouldnt stop staring at me and i was so fricking uncomfortable.. i tried pushing him and crawling away but he would hold me it wasnt as romantic as how kdramas framed it at all..
My friend cried when a dude she was arguing with pinned her to the wall. She was angry, furious, at first and then just broke down crying after the danger passed. Till this day, I don't understand why that dude do it. It was on my last year of middle school.
Someone did same thing to me in college, i slid down the wall shifted myself under his arm while staring at him. Students laughed and he never bothered me again. I hate this trope
I remember watching 'Heirs' many years ago and people were somehow swooning over that forced closet kiss scene where the girl looked just so uncomfortable and scared. I was like "is there something I'm missing??" because there was absolutely nothing hot about that awful claustrophobic non-consensual kiss
The actress was not aware the kiss was going to.happen. The director told the actor to do the scene cause of the story line so her reaction was geniune.
It's so manipulative that they have good-looking actors portray abusive boyfriends. It's like saying that if he's hot, he's not bad or creepy, just "troubled" and you need to fix him with your love 🤦♀️
very good analysis. Indeed you will often see in K drama this kind of scenario with or without physical abuse but stalking for example. If the guy is good looking the girl should submit and love him because deep down he is a good lad. Proofs : he is handsome what other proof do you need. The social statue has his importance too, the handsome abusive guy must be richer and have a higher social status so if the abused girl complain everybody will insult her saying that she doesn't know what love is and how lucky she is. At that moment the girl is trapped, she would have to show an aspect of human personality ( confidence ) that people who watch those drama do not associate with a feminine personality. I am psychologue but I was abused by my father, as were my mother and older brother. You may imagine how I feel when I watch those kdrama ( before judging you need to watch it) and I was even more destabilized when I noticed that many people found that romantic or cute. On the other side which means the reality discovering that many girls were raped during a first date, or bullied for not being pretty or fat and also seeing that the media were relaying those offensive act as something normal and that seeing abuse in those behaviors was just the outside world not being able to understand and respect their culture. That's pretty mest up. I lived in Asia and had the possibility to visit Korea, Jap etc.many times...the number of young women with the protection put on the nose after a plastic surgery was insane. And don't think that becoming older will gives more authority ho no far from this. Women are expected to serve their family has to were clothe that reflect their age, so you won't be able to wear what you really want and even your haircu has to change when you get married, then when you have a child and when you become grand parent. A lot of women of my age were laughing at me because of my style, I didn't care at least I didn't look like 1000% of the population and being different is my trademark ) but it gives you an idea on how people keep this abusive behaviors toward womenn go on. PS: I am French-speaking so I may have made mistakes in my writing sorry about that.
This mindset made my younger years a living hell. Putting the hottie on a pedestal and accepting shitty behavior for a lot of years. Not anymore though.
I think in a way, that depending on how you look at it also shows that even pretty boys/men can be abusive. Just because they do not 'look' evil doesn't mean that they can not be evil. The romanticisation of abusive relationships is dangerous to the real girls and woman that watch and place those types of relationships on a golden pedestal. I think that there is a fine line between portraying an abusive relationship to create awareness of these types of relationships and just out right romanticising it. We should definitely keep talking about this and these important issues.
if it happen to average girl but boy is handsome peopel think its normal when some old or ugly guy do there is nothing normal it is called abuse understand especially in korea
This video. Is so so exact realistic. Everytime they suger coat the aggresive behaviour of male lead with dark past or cuteness. thank u next. Thus video is beautiful an eye opener. N yes. Women don't need a guy to protect her and persistent approach of a guy won't make her fall for you. Be strong girls. Decide what u want.
'Boys Over Flowers' was a whole ass nightmare. The male lead bullied the female lead,assaulted her,humiliated her,forcefully kissed her,even kidnapped her. Still this is considered as one of the best kdramas of all time!WTF!
I didn't even liked that show at all. And all its versions. But trust me Taiwanese version is still the worst upto this date where the ml slaps the fl and the very next day gifts her a necklace and asks sorry and all. I just hate that show to my core.
@@deepabiju252 Damn.Glad I didn't see the Taiwanese version. I think the Chinese Version (Meteor Garden 2018) is better than others. It has least bullying.But still some of the scenes made me uncomfortable
@@aira6951 You can try and communicate with him, make some efforts, but you can’t really heal or fix him, it’s his job. The most you can do is probably be there for him and communicate the issues you see.
@@aira6951 All we can really do is extend some sort of help. We can’t expect them to accept it. Healing is always and forever will be something you seek. Just because you’re offered help doesn’t mean you are ready to face your own demons. This doesn’t make them a bad person, but everyone’s story is different and should be honored on their own terms and time. I also want to stress knowing and honoring your own boundaries. You peace should not be at risk because of another persons wrong doing. Good luck! ❤️
@@aira6951 I had the same idea like you, until last year. As perfect as people see my family is, each person has trauma that we struggled to move on from. And for my parents, I thought that it was my responsibility to heal them, *but that is very wrong.* It was not my place to _heal_ them. I ended up exhausting myself mentally and emotionally. Your father must _want_ that change for *himself,* before he could properly start the healing journey. Only then that you could _support_ him on the side throughout *his efforts* towards the betterment. In my case, I must not take part in any of their process, because when I did, they just straightaway dumped the responsibility to me. I would end up accommodating their excuses instead of us individually improving towards a better lifestyle. This had scarred me more than I come to admit, the accumulated stress has become a trauma itself that I continue to struggle healing all by myself. I hope for the best in your journey, and I pray for you an unwavering strength 🌸 may the future shine brighter for you and your beautiful soul.
For real! I always have to walk away or drop the show entirely because uH NOT CUTE?!? Very very scary, especially when you see the lead either shocked or struggling because they don’t want to be dragged, pushed against a wall and have someone’s face pressed against them so hard leaving no point of escape...very much psychical harassment
For one it’s because the actors are attractive & letting pretty people get away with things, secondly it’s the idea of getting pursued or ravished. This isn’t to justify IRL sexual abuse however. It’s a fantasy vs. reality thing also.
This is probably why I have second lead syndrome. The second lead is always the kind and caring guy and the main lead is abusive and even tho hot, usually abusive.
im currently watching this show called my shy boss and yeah just like the title says its about a male boss being shy but his workers think hes abusive, manipulating, prick and not caring...and thats not the case, the main lead whos is female mad at him for a car crash now works for him...there are some conflicts and crazy parts but its quite nice the boss likes the girl who is also his fav actress.....its quite nice to see a not a dominate male all the time..like it, hes a gentleman
The exact reason why I have second male lead syndrome. They're usually gentler, calm and naturally nice. The only reason they don't get together is because if they already did, then the drama would be cut short and considered boring.
People love those type of things in kdrama until it happens to them. *Thanks for the likes everyone* 👏👏👏 Also I never said the movies/ series aren't good or you shouldn't watch it😑😑 I was talking about the crazy behaviors of the men in them , the stalking / following and abusive behavior because youths would see this and romanticized about having a relationship like that
Fully agree. We may watch it on the screen since it is a fiction. But I would not like to experience it in real life. This is not romantic behaviour at all.
@@hindq.6842 Ohh im gonna check on that later, thanks for your recommendation! The last time i actually watch kdrama were sky castle and the penthouse. Those types of genre are the only one i can keep on watching these days 😂
@@myrashamer13 I like those genres too 😂😂 especially sky castle and stranger those two are my favorite so far but Run On is sooo good even tho I don’t really watch lovey dovey shit 💀 it’s soo worth it
Things that have to change in kdramas: 1) romanticising abusive relationship 2) excusing toxic behaviour due to broken families 3) childhood sweethearts that somehow remember each other 20 years later, as if like u can rmb what you did when you were four
@@musicchannel4453 no they’re talking about the childhood friends one is okay and it seems rather harmless. It’s fine if it’s done correctly, but the other traits need to go-
You are right. Hahhahah I watched the Korean one, the Japanese one and Taiwanese one. Every time when I watch it, I hate the male lead lol The Taiwanese one is a bit better cause it has more episodes so it kinda massaged it
Yes it gets on my nerves while the second make lead is the perfect guy but she doesn’t even recognize it while he continues to play with her feelings but harassing her I don’t understand that
@@boboplasthegameblue i was rooting for the second male lead so much when I was watching this drama. I think the female lead should punch the male lead and leave him for good lololololol
A more recent and popular example is Suho from True Beauty. The way he follows her everywhere, the time that he went to the mall where she was with Seojun and tried to drag her out, the way that he gets angry at her when she is with other guys (even when they are not dating), when he told her to quit her job because he was jealous, and overall they way that he always he felt entitled to her because he liked her first. Some people may try to excuse him but I think it is important that we recognize those subtle things small red flags to look out for in real life relationships.
Hmm, I think this is a bit exaggerated since it was supposed to be a character who was immature (all of the characters were immature since it was a high school drama). Suho grew out of that. Maybe I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure they portrayed him this way to convey a high school immature mindset. However, I do find wrongs in the stalking. That creeped me out. We need to differentiate between dramas and real life. Both are drastically different and should be treated drastically different, however, some people can’t tell between those two. Reality and fiction.
Was this the live action?? Suho is completely different in the webtoon, he’s really passive and doesn’t really bother her. Even when she was dating Seojun, he accepted it and left her alone most of the time, and only helped her out as a friend whenever she needed it.
Nah for me, both character Suho & Seojun are red flags in the beginning. Suho being possessive to her, stalking & Seojun toying her bc of Suho and even told him to meet his dead friend in the afterlife. But I'm glad there are character developments & they finally figured things out, Suho apologized to Jug & Seojun apologized to Suho.. they changed & became better in the end :)
Record of Youth put scenes where the man ask for the woman's permission before they have an intense kiss. The man also scold his friend for grabbing a woman's hand. They also put the scene where the manager confused because the boys didn't punch each other when they have argument. They break up in a very clear conversation without yelling, forcing kiss, or grab hands. And more. Unfortunately, some people are getting used to these types of korean romance so they thought it's boring to see this drama.
@@toucanpam5036 it's a slice of life drama. It will goes slowly with their character development. So many different genres for k-drama and it could possibly not fit with your taste. But I recommend you to give it a try ☺
@@personaljourney5142 Yeah, i might try and watch again, just to get away from all the other toxic dramas, for example i started watching meteor garden but had to stop when the ml literally sexually assaulted the fm
tbh before watching this video, i used to see these behaviors and interactions as cute, more specifically the wrist pulling. But after seeing this i came to realize, as the video says, that these are abusive behaviors. This has also made me realize that abusive behaviors aren't always out there. Some behaviors are obvious, like hitting or pulling someone, and then there are subtle ones like making a remark or playfully harassing someone. Thank you for making this video this has really opened my eyes. I hope when i get into a relationship that i will be able to see these behaviors as signs and criticize my partner.
Unfortunately abuse is also normalized in popular American films like Indiana Jones and Twilight too. I started watching foreign films like Boys over Flowers when I was a teen and I thought it was normal especially since I experienced abuse in my own home and outside of my home and now I realized it was wrong. I didn’t realize that it was NOT normal until I had a mental breakdown in college and went to therapy.
@@zannys5133 I agree with both you, I feel like American media doesn’t romanticize this behavior as widely as Kdramas do, but theres literally a trend on tik tok rn where ppl say they want a toxic s/o 🤦♀️
SAME. I just watched a clip from the drama "Meteor Garden" where the male lead pins her to the wall and kisses her with force and literally abuses her.😭 I dk what to do anymore.
Thank you for this. More and more people should see this and realize that they have been brainwashed by these toxic behaviors in Kdramas and that these Kdramas have been sending the wrong messages about relationships. This topic about abuse and victim blaming is something significant to me, because i experienced those things nearly 2 years ago. Although i wasn't physically abused and harassed, i was gaslighted and financially abused by a person who is not even worth my time and money. The victim blaming shown in this video reminded me of the time when i would get blamed and endlessly apologize for something i didn't even do. Things like "it's your fault why I've become like this" or "you're the reason why I've distanced myself from you." It was probably the most horrible thing that happened to my mental well-being in my whole entire life. I felt like I was literally going crazy. I didn't understand myself anymore, I feel trapped, I lost my self esteem. I even keep on thinking I should have never been born at all. It was that terrible. And I would never want anyone to go through something horrible and traumatic like that, but I can't control those things from happening. That's why I really wish I could become an advocate that tackles about mental abuse, victim blaming, gaslighting, etc., but it's kind of difficult to happen. So I'll just do the best i can in spreading awareness about the harsh reality of abusive men and people in general. Lastly, if you're dating someone or considering someone to be ur s/o who shows these red flags, please please please listen to us who have experienced it. Save your heart and distance yourself from those awful men while you still can.
As much as physical abuse is ignored in kdramas, I think the amount of emotional abuse is also alarming. There are a lot of dramas where I never felt glad for the main leads' so called "happy ending" because of how toxic or unhealthy their relationship is. Back then, I would watch dramas until the end even though I clearly felt uncomfortable with a lot of scenes but now, I don't care if I don't finish it!
In chinese version of "a love so beautiful" the second lead is literally goals for a woman. He was really sweet and truly loved the girl ..however the girl ended up choosing the main lead who was really cold to her and didn't care about her until second lead appears.
boys over flowers, yoon ji hoo the second lead was so much sweeter, truly loved the girl, and was an actual good person. the main ml on the other hand let the school assault, humiliate, ruin her family, ruin her reputation and try to kill her, but still got the fl in the end????
One KDrama that made me feel very uncomfortable was "My Secret Romance." The lead couple met, had a one-night stand, then didn't meet until 3 yrs later. The female lead unknowingly accepted a job where the male lead was the big boss. When the male lead realized that she was working in his company, he started giving her unreasonable tasks that for me come really close to bullying. It was portrayed as funny and romantic because he was "in love" with her... Romantic because he was trying to hide his feelings but when he's alone. the actor would act as if he was longing for her. But in real life, all his "tactics/actions" would be considered manipulative, forceful, and disrespectful.
I think the biggest issue is there is no balance between the Sexes. The Females are betrayed too weak and meek, instead of capable and strong. While the Males are portrayed as too aggressive, making behavior like controlling and possessive normal, instead of promoting positive behaviors like protective, caring and chivalrous... It makes me said this is the world we live in.
But now there are shows like hotel del Luna and it’s okay to not be okay where the female lead is really strong. Also startup, strong woman do bong soon, the last empress, weight lifting fairy, eternal monarch. We see this issue much more in the older shows like around the time of boys over flowers and playful kiss
This is why I loved strong girl bong soon because the male lead was not abusive or rude and was even like able for once, the male lead loved how strong the female lead was Since the beginning and they were actually a pretty good couple🥰
The main leads were not problematic. They r my fav couple(my fav drama so far) but fl's mom was really abusive though. They way she treated bong soon, her husband, just.....too.... Abusive. She's always either physically abusive or verbally. Who in the world asks ur own child to sleep with someone else. Just to name one of her abusive char. But yes still will be my fav drama, cause minmin-bongbong😍😍
its a great kdrama, if you rewatch it though you'll notice that the male lead uses the phrase ''i'll protect you'' very often. still its better than other ones i guess
It’s so weird that in so many dramas the female lead has two options the attractive but completely possessive and abusive one or the respectful, nice, funny and a bit less attractive one and she still thinks about who she gonna pick like girl?😂
And sometimes the second guy is more attractive (She Was Pretty) but the fishhook of childhood love is in deep. I actually think that it might be less of a choice than it might seem. Don’t they use these behaviors mixed with occasional kindness to eventually create a sort of Stockholm syndrome sort of response? The second lead has no chance because she’s too overwhelmed by the first lead’s theatrics and mistaking the suspension bridge effect for real love. Pretty problematic.
There is another coming-of-age one where the male lead shouts at the female lead (when they grow up) and I always found that problematic. Never really finished watching the series. Even forgot the title. She was also engaged to someone I think and he threw her ring in the nearest lake. He had to look for it to "make up" for what he did and it serves him right.
The boys that ended up liking me always bullied me, but I use to think it was sweet, because the media I grew up with romanticized that behavior. But now when I have a guy do that to me, who supposedly likes me, I just feel sad and disrespected, because if he likes me why does he want me to feel bad about myself?
Same but in a different way. I had a friend in the third grade who bullied a girl he liked. He would pull her hair and steal her chair, but I just thought it was normal because I thought that’s what boys do to the girls they like. I was being told this by actual adults and tv shows, they said that boys bully girls they like to get them to notice them. And I just accepted it. (Im very gullible) As a high school student I now know it is wrong and I should’ve told him to stop.
No one ever mentions the prevalence of physical abuse that female characters also dish out on male characters, usually when she’s annoyed or angry with him. She will most often kick him, but might also slap him, pull his hair or ears, etc. It is most often played for laughs. It is just as toxic. The only show where I’ve ever seen this addressed is in Strong Woman Do Bong Soon. It’s suspected that her mother has beaten up her father (though it’s not the case), and her mother’s friends say it’s not okay, but even there it’s still kinda played for laughs, it takes them a really long time to say anything, and honestly the whole dynamic of her mother and father is problematic. Look, if it’s not okay if a man does it to a woman, then it’s not okay if done in the reverse either. It doesn’t matter if women are on average less physically strong. It’s still abusive.
@@DollfaceLizkah That’s simplistic. I am talking about true equality here. I don’t care more about men than women, but equally I don’t care more about women than men. People are people, and everyone should be treated well. All of the behaviours by men towards women addressed in the video are toxic and need to stop. Absolutely. But ALSO, the toxic behaviours displayed by women towards men need to stop as well. Saying this does not detract from the first issue, and I said it because there were already many other comments here about how toxic behaviour by men should be addressed, but at the time of original comment, no one had said anything about the reverse. That is all. I would rather not live in a world where it’s okay to treat someone badly because of their gender, regardless of what that gender is.
In all of those versions I watched I was really confused every time the male lead would do something to the female lead the gang F4 wouldn’t say anything they just stood there silent then started walking away with the male lead. Sometimes they scuff and laugh too it’s weird. Well I’m glad this was brought to my attention I was in the majority of ones blinded by the “romance”
Exactly the Taiwan version was as bad as well the force kissing was just ugh even the Korean version was not it, I don't really understand how my parents saw it as cute it was disgusting to watch
When i was younger i watched playful kiss and around this time i had just started going to secondary school. I started crushing on a boy who was arrogant cold hearted and rude (basically showing similiar characteristics of the male lead in playful kiss) and i thought this was normal and that if i acted stupid and overly happy (like how most of the females in these kdramas are depicted) he would sooner or later start to like. BIGGEST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER MADE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I really hope that they change the ways that couples are supposed to act in these kdramas because this is just not a positive representation to young girls (and boys) as to how they should approach their own relationships in the future.
In Age of Youth (Hello, My Twenties) I really appreciated that instead of making it “cute” and “adorable” they clearly showed that what he was doing was abusive. Even before he started getting physical, the show made it clear that everything he did was wrong and she definitely didn’t like how he acted. I liked the fact that her friends were all so supportive of her, instead of saying the usual “boys will be boys” they made it clear to her that they did not like him and that she shouldn’t have to tolerate that kind of behaviour. I feel like the people around you can contribute to the abuse just as much as the partner can, especially when they try to say that the behaviour is normal. The show managed to show portray dating violence quite successfully in my opinion.
i freakin love that show so much because they didnt just add the boyfriend’s ab*siveness in just to forget about it in the next few episodes. in season two, you can actually see how the situation took a toll on the housemate and how it affected her everyday life. it didnt entertain me, but rather impressed me because they didnt treat ab*se so lightly as most kdramas do, whether it be for the sake of shocking the audience or developing a relationship.
@@cathenlea yess!! Season 2 was so so good as well (other than the sudden actress change but I can forgive that) and it even further highlighted how serious abuse in a relationship is, especially for the victim’s life. It took her a long time to recover and even then she didn’t recover fully. And I really appreciated that because it can take years to heal and for some they never completely do, and that’s reality.
"Boys will be boys" is one of the most b@lls%&t excuses to mistreat women ever created! Boys that treat women bad come from men who treat women badly, it's a cycle that never gets broken until someone goes to jail.
I hate them so much like can we change this already (mostly I see these types in wattpad fanfic and based on the preview I don’t want to read it anymore) it’s outdated and bad
Atleast there are some kdramas right now like Crash Landing on you or Run on that lessens that type of cliches where the girl is clueless while the man manipulates her and she agrees with them (except for true beauty I guess )
You should watch Angel Last Mission: Love, it's the total opposite. The Female lead is cold and strict (especially to her workers) but she has shown some kindness, The male lead is sweet innocent funny but has shown some seriousness as well.
That's why I'm kinda bored of entertainment industry. Feels like everything finished up. Only thing that's left is chilling out the sole reason of entertainment now🥺
I recently watched Strong Woman Bong Soon and was shocked by the behavior of the second male lead. There was one scene where he was yelling at her in a hospital for disobeying his orders to stay home and not wearing the panic button he gave her. Despite the fact that this is one of the 2 strongest women in Korea and the fact that she had just saved a friend, she hung her head low took all the abuse. The second male lead was a walking red flag that she still foolishly crushed over. That was so off putting.
I was watching clips of "Extraordinary You" and was alarmed by how many people supported Baek Kyung in the comment section. Like..why? The man was toxic af. Baek Kyung not only constantly put Dan-Oh down for her illness, saying he hates girls like her, but he put her down for liking someone else when he constantly rejected her. Dan-Oh liked Baek Kyung for ten years, then when she realized she never liked him at her own free will, he started chasing after her. I know people are going to come at me like "the writer made him do that," "he wasn't aware of himself yet," but even off stage, Baek Kyung treated Dan-Oh like absolute shit. He told her things like, "Why do you like someone like him? He's just an extra." "You think he can change things? Do you want to be the main character or something?" Kyung constantly told Dan-oh, "You'll come back to me anyway, you're my fiance" and told Haru that he (Haru) couldn't do anything about it cause at the end of the day, she's Kyung's fiance. Dan-oh liked Haru rightfully so. The words that Haru said to Kyung that stuck to me most were, "She may be just an extra to you, but to me, she's the main character." Haru risked himself being wiped away from existence in the comic world JUST so Dan-oh could be the main character. Haru watched Dan-oh from afar and was there to protect her when she needed it. She loved Haru and all Baek Kyung did was put Haru down. The thing is, even though Kyung was a piece of shit, Haru never said that he was. Never did I hear "Kyung is a douche" "Stay with me, not with Kyung" because Haru knew that Dan-oh loved him and even when he saw Dan-oh being lovey-dovey with Kyung on stage, he trusted her. Not only that, but Haru didn't mind being cheesy, saying cheesy things and doing cheesy things because as long as he was with Dan-oh and she was smiling, he was also happy. Haru did the things that Dan-oh wrote down on the list of things she wanted to do with him. Haru reassured Dan-oh that he wasn't going anywhere when she was scared of him leaving again, saying "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." That's what love is. Not some half-assed "I like you, so stay away from him" kind of bullshit.
I agree with everything you said ! I loved this show but couldn't understand why Baek Kyung was a favorite. For ONCE, the ML treated the FL with the respect she deserved and trust, yet so many still managed to prefer Kyung.
@@danna4760 Right? They said Haru was unrealistic, but the characters are literally in a comic world. Baek Kyung not feeling sorry toward how he treated Dan-oh for her sickness despite his own mother dying from an illness made me so confused. He felt horrible about how his father ignored his mother because of her sickness, yet he picked on Dan-oh and put her down for the exact same reason. He also always reminded Dan-oh that she was an extra while he himself was ALSO AN EXTRA.
THIS >>> I normally really like the second lead and since i saw that everyone loved kyung, i thought i would too but he’s literally just a bully the whole time? i remember thinking “when am i going to start liking him?” and i really never did because he just bullied them. he has no regard for how danoh feels and just cares about himself, i really think he didn’t actually have feelings for her but he saw as her as something that belonged to him. he only started trying to be with her when she no longer showed interest him. AND THE SCENE WHERE SOME GUY ACCIDENTALLY BUMPS INTO HIM SO KYUNG START BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM LIKE WHAT? Or when he BREAKS her heart monitor.
I swear! I really thought everyone had gone mad. When I pointed out his toxicity, they were like “oh but that’s how his character is written and he’s traumatised and can’t communicate his feelings”. Well it saves your energy to not be an asshole to a girl that you apparently like? And she might die with her heart condition?? Like what sort of an excuse is that??? If he was cold and reserved but quietly showed support- even in a stand-offish way, I’d honestly give him a pass. But he threw tantrums and pushed her around and terrorised people around him.
Bollywood has also entered the chat Edit: It seems like the formula of toxic romance movies and shows are shared throughout asia (from my observations)
Here in the philiphines the showbiz is romanticizing mistresses and cheating i find this very toxic knowing this can ruin lives and the family but for other people this is enterraining for them but knowing cheating is illegal in the philliphines i find this troupe disgusting
@@cyberpunkfashionblyawesome it was made bc people want to bash the mistress but they accidentally encouraged mistresses to flirt with married men and vice-versa.
@@cyberpunkfashionblyawesome very true. I hated it so much. I hope pati yung iba pang hindi magandang iromantize gaya ng bullying, abusing, sexism, rape, kidnap etc ay matigil na in whole Asia
I think we do not ask for perfect characters because that is not realistic, there are people who are like that, even worse, I think the main problem is that they romanticize this, I mean, as a spectator, I do not want the story to be perfect (that the protagonists get along wonderfully all the time and that there are no problems), I just want the series to make it clear that the attitudes of the protagonists are not the right thing, that it is not a good way to show love, etc. and if you want your characters to improve, you must put a realistic way of how they changed and not only for the girl or boy.
yep and even if they become a good person at the end, i wish they would addressed their past behaviours and properly apologised for how they mistreating them
but so,e of these kdramas take it too far, which i think ppl need to acknowledge. bc sometimes there’s no coming back from some things, and any relationship that happens in the future would just be toxic even if the behaviour stopped
Yeah I'm okay if characters are flawed, but you can't just play it off like it's okay and even "romantic". Like, that is not how u want people to act when you are in a relationship
In the last 10 years or so a lot of young women died in domestic violence and acid attacks in the hands of they violent boyfriend or husband, we the fan and viewers must protest and fight against terrible relationships Dynamics and safe the next generation of female from seeing these dramas as healthy. First step is recognising. Thank you very much for you educating us all and please continue with your good work. God bless you
As years passed the versions got softer, but I would like to remind you that in the Japanese version (Hana Yori Dango) the scene where the lead sends guys to assault the female lead are vastly different. In BOF he tells them to do something severe but then throws shit at them when he finds out they were going to rape her. In the HYD the main leads TORTURES the guys so he can force them to rape her..... I swear if it wasn't for the nostalgia factor this drama should have been banned.
Force pulling is such a common thing and it's horrible. My father used to do it when we had a fight and I decided to not engage in his childish bs anymore. He'd grab my arm hard and to this day I remember the feeling. I felt weak and helpless because no matter how much I struggeled, I couldn't break free. Nobody should feel like this, ever.
This is an important video. I love K dramas, but have often been uncomfortable with the controlling, condescending and aggressive behaviors of some of the male leads. Thank you for bringing this to the attention of viewers, especially young women and girls who can easily be drawn into romanticizing and even desiring this kind of behavior from their partners, viewing it as a sign of love and devotion.
honestly the amount of grabbing, forced kissing, slapping... it's disgusting and very unromantic literally as you said, they portray it like 'even though they hurt me, I'll learn to love them eventually' this is giving me 365 days trauma all over again oh god
Tbh it’s this prevalent theme and attitude in kdramas is probably one of the reasons I don’t watch many. I tried to get into some but either the story wasn’t compelling or the romance was toxic...if anyone knows of any really good ones, I’d love to give them a chance.
@@emotionaldamage9894 no need to worry. They aren't ending up in the novel. She miscarries, he starts to rape her several time and beat her, she cheats without thinking that she cheats, he goes to therapy, tries to improve and tries to become clean; she cheats again ( she basically cheats throughout the book), divorces that guy and marries and gets pregnant with the guy she cheated with. I need to add that the guy she marries is a stalker but it's portrayed of him "protecting" her and him "being flirty". Ah and he has the same name like a Mexican snack even though he is Spanish LOL And all this shit happens in the last book. She is basically with the first guy throughout two fricking books
From what I noticed through this video is that it's not only found in Kdramas.. You find it in Manhwas, Manhuas, Mangas and popular western adult romance novels as well..The male lead being abusive but it's being romanticized because he is handsome and has past trauma..So media which targets women and girls in overall tends to romanticize abusive relationships...And this is creepy as I think of what mindset I grew up with, of what I thought about these scenes, thinking about the last guy I was kind of dating and how he had similar behavior...Oh shit
@@iaintmichaeljackson9587 geez that series is a nightmare 🤢 I remember I had two friends (mind you they were like ELEVEN/TWELVE ) that loved that franchise. I did end up watching the movie cuz I couldn’t bear to think about reading the actual book and gosh it was awful like he was so dominating and the way she was so submissive throughout the series was horrendous. I get that that’s the way their relationship was supposed to be bc all of the dom/sub stuff but ughh idk why so many ppl liked it let alone young teen girls. And knowing that they also liked the After novel too, and knowing now the level of toxicity that it is, is really concerning thinking about that so many young girls are romanticizing abuse in relationships and not even realizing how bad it is.
This is why Her Private Life is one of my all time favorite kdramas. It had one of the most healthiest relationships I have ever seen portrayed in a kdrama. Instead of having either the male or female lead be above the other it was equal. They treated each other with respect and equally supported each other and depended on each rather than having the FL always being in distress and having the ML “save her”. There was no unnecessary angst and it wasn’t overly dramatic or hectic as some other kdramas.
Y'all, if you don't like male leads for being abusive but you still praise the female leads who give off the same toxic traits and vibes, nothing really changed. Man or woman, toxicity and abuse have no gender.
@YohanMaxi i agree some “strong” female lead are sometimes abusive too, they would constantly kick or punch the ml or males as a “joke”. i never felt comfortable with using violence as a form of joke because i dont rlly think it’s that funny
For real. Yes the recent drama have changed as we don’t see aggressive Male lead but we get aggressive female lead because they are Queen. Writer really just give what the public want
Those early kdrama tropes really fucked me up as I became a young 14 year old who hasn't had her first kiss yet and was dreaming of being pushed against a wall and forcibly kissed by my crush cos I saw it as more romantic and an indication of strong interest. Now as a 22 year old, I'm just badly cringing at my own mindset then. Media really can influence/unknowingly try to justify people's toxic thoughts/behaviors and we should all be careful of what we digest as our entertainment. This is also the reason I prefer the horror/thriller genre now, less toxic cringe more scares.
Hey, as long as there's full consent in all parties involved, being pushed against a wall and kissed does not sound bad at all. But this type of fiction really does normalize abuse which is quite sad and frightening. Most girls I know think rapey behaviour is romantic.
@@j.j.juggernaut9709 yeah I know, it's not the action itself that was d problem but more of under what circumstances? I didn't see female characters that knew what they wanted and went for it, instead it was always the "innocent" "submissive" .... characters that showed obvious signs of discomfort at first but later "loved" what happened and that became what I dreamed my 1st kiss to be like. Luckily it was nothing like that 😊 Media really plays a huge role in promoting or condemning certain ideologies.
This is why I really really loved the ending of Love Alarm season 2. Sunho was a typical male lead (yelling at her, force kissing, only thought about himself.) Seeing the sweet patient second male lead be chosen was so rewarding. Hyeyeon always said, "I won't force it, I'll let it grow naturally." I was afraid the the drama would have a typical ending where the temperamental rich boy "becomes nice" and "gets the girl." When Jojo and Hyeyeon kiss it was because both of them wanted to. Such a sweet ending!! I'm so worried by the amount of girls that wanted Sunho "to win" cus he was handsome and never look at the bad side of his character.
I still do think that the drama wouldn't get so much hate if they wouldnt rush or force hyeyeon and jojos relationship i mean i found it as though i was dumbfounded with a whole ass s1 of rooting for one couple and being changed in the other season. Like when i was watching the second season i wanted to root for hyeyeon because he definitely treated her better but i just wasnt feeling the chemistry but thats just my opinion.
@@clavitafernandes6346 I agree with everything you say, there was literally no lead in for the second couple. Till the end it felt to me like Jojo was still hiding and picked hyeyeon because he was safe and doesn't upset her equilibrim.
King the Land had me spinning with stress then relief because every time these scenarios popped up and I was like "uh oh here we go" they chose. to. be. good. people.
I really dislike how some of these "positive" comments are saying that they like the new female leads because they are "strong female leads who don’t tolerate abuse" instead of liking the male leads who just aren't abusive. Why is the conversation always directed towards the victims? There is no personality type that tolerates abuse, no weaker ones or stronger ones. Only victims. P.S check my replies before debating me
@@theycallmetrollbcispeakfac1581 @mi m.s. You can see so many comments here about these new female characters being feisty so as to "not let themselves be abused". But the depressing thing is even feisty girls get abused. In fact when a girl is feisty and talks back in abusive scenes, we often forget that it's still abusive. Imagine a scene like the one in Uncontrollably Fond where the female character is abandoned on a road. The male character drives away and leaves her there lying on the road as punishment for her being "troublesome". A "weak" character would lie down and cry. A "feisty" character would scream at the car and scold him and ask him to come back (maybe he comes back and apologizes too, or maybe he just drives off). But no matter the consequence, isn't that still abuse? When the male character hits the female character and she yells and slaps back at him, he may apologize but the bruise on her face remains, and her slapping him was only retaliatory. They're not even because they both hit each other, the abusive one is still him because he hit her first. The fact that he hit her means that he is abusive, it's simple. In conclusion, there is no reason to talk about personality when you talk about abuse except to blame the victim for not being strong enough to resist the abuse.
@@theycallmetrollbcispeakfac1581 Kdramas showing "strong no-bullshit female leads" as the antidote to abuse in kdrama is exactly the same as those people who promote giving young girls guns as the antidote to being r*ped. It's a half-assed solution that forces victims to do more things and act a certain way (feisty, bring a gun everywhere) instead of simply telling abusers/rapists not to abuse/rape people, and it doesn't make sense. My main issue is that people in these comments are saying that this approach makes sense when it comes to abuse. For kdramas, the best way to not show abusive relationships is simply to create a relationship where both characters are equal and serve each other, not a relationship where one character (who is definitely abusive) is constantly crossing lines, while the other is either fully accepting of the other's behaviour ("weak personality"), or speaks up about the negative effects of the other's behaviour but lets it slide completely at the end ("strong personality").
That's why i loved Run On. Male Masculinity and fragile women was not a thing in that. Men cried because they felt like it and women took strong steps for themselves.
Run on is such a game changer!! Too bad that it only came out this year... I hoped that if this drama came out earlier there would be more drama that talks about healthy relationships...
@@swagwanhyung8413 :( better late than never. I hope more people find out about this drama. I could write a whole essay why I loved that drama and how more dramas should show healthy relationships like this.
I love the fact that the actress that played the FL also played a strong, smart female character in Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung. It's like she carefully read the scripts and chose her characters very well
it migt e better than other dramas but still, men fight over one girl, like they were rivals, its was some kind of game and girl is treated as reward and thats terrible -_-
Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is literally the only Kdrama I know where the girl actually chooses the sweet and caring guy instead of the man who was cold and distant towards her. That was so satisfying lol. Please feel free to recommend me some dramas where the girl DOESN'T end up with a jackass. Love triangles usually pisses me off but if it's something similar to SWDBS, I'm all good :)
But...Bong Soon's parent's relationship is basically domestic violence. Her mother gets jealous and beats the father so badly that he gets a black eye and cries. And at the end Bong Soon leaves Min Hyuk alone with twin infant super powered daughters who make easy work out of giving gangsters black eyes (the gangsters getting beat up is funny though). Yes, he is their father and should definitely be taking care of them but taking care of them alone is going to put him in a hospital. Bong Soon's parents could've come and help out since they had experience with 1 super powered baby.
omg practically all kdramas I watched are about good men! Pride and Prejudice... Toy Crane (forgot the name of the drama) Crazy love lawyer and Mi So.... Wonderful Mama radio host daughter and her doctor tenant.... Love and Secret single mom and fashion boss... and so on.... So many high school dramas, like Growing Season med student boyfriend, or that drama that has several short skits, or Love Playlist where the hot cheerleader picked a quiet guy, etc etc etc etc On Our Wedding Day ... .... soooo many super great male role models!
you should watch clean with passion for now, in that kdrama the 2nd lead guy is a stalker and the female lead keeps talking coldly to her till the end.
I remember I was watching Cheese in the Trap and I never finished it but my friend and I didn't miss how manipulative the male lead is. Also how the female lead, despite all her struggles and frustrations, never win in an argument against him because somehow, there's always something bigger that presents itself or he somehow manages to evade the topic or switch the focus to her problems. It is nice that he helped take care of some of her problems so she doesn't have to struggle as much but we didn't like that whenever he is confronted with something that is potentially his fault, he always manages to avoid it. It's super unfair for the female lead and it's just sad that even in her relationship, which should be an escape from the world that is constantly bashing her down, she still has little to no control. Edit: I also HATE when they try to make it seem like the guy being cold and heartless, like how the video shows the guy leaving the girl on the road after dangerously driving, is a romantic thing. It makes it seem like the emotional female leads are the ones in the wrong or they're overreacting.
When I first watched Love Alarm I was like “how is that even romantic?, that’s just creepyyyy” fr, isn’t it creepy that Sun Ho just followed Jojo everywhere when they were not even friends?... I still don’t understand how everyone wants Jojo to get back with Sun Ho, imo Sun Ho’s friend is waaay less toxic.
for real! love alarm is popular in my country and a lot of my friends watched it. but i couldn't get past the 2nd episode. my gut keeps associating sunoh with red flags. i'll probably won't watch it again. it's sad because song kang seems like a nice actor but i had second thoughts with sweet home because of his role in love alarm. not only that, but also lee joongi's role in shr. i only liked jisoo as iu's partner lol
Thank you! I was looking for this comment! When Sun Ho basically forced himself onto jojo in the alleyway (when she had a boyfriend a the time) it was so aggressive, immature, and creepy to me. I just don't see why people want her to end up with him.
Same, I honestly was so confused going to the internet and finding out everyone preferred Sun Oh over Hyeyeong, I thought it would be the opposite since everybody is already aware about abuse romanticization. But oh well, Sun Oh is hot so they forgot lmao
sunoh was toxic, i don't understand why people wanted him to end up with her. the second lead was so much better, he didn't force anything on to her, and he actually respected her!! wake the fuc up people 😭
@Eman Pretty sure that if you love someone you should let them be happy especially when you know the person that they love is a good person (what I learned through kdramas lol). You shouldn’t let your selfishness get in the way of someone who you truly love.
@EmanEven if it was not a love triangle, there are only two leads,no matter how much someone loves a person, if the other person doesn't love back, doesn't mean they are bad because they have right to refuse or accept. I just don't like how the female lead is always the one to be at fault because she doesn't end up with the preferred male character.
@Eman true. 2nd female leads are always the villian, most of the time they are sidelined and their only goal is steal the main lead, I hope they break the stereotype.
What second leads do wrong is they try to be Mr. Steal your girl. Why do they wait until the female lead starts dating the male lead before they notice her? They only notice the female that is dating the male lead.
Another thing that I absolutely hated was on She was Pretty. Seo Joon humiliated Kim Hye Jin, screamed with her, embarrassed her, while the Reporter Kim treated her nicely since the beginning.
ummm reporter kim literally called her a dog. Also, he played so many pranks on her that when he confessed she legit didn't believe him because she thought it was another trick.
@@emdpanda I agree with you at this point, but Seo Joon treated her literally like a scumbag. I think, everyone in the Most Magazine treated her like, makimg fun of her looks.
@@geovannaferreirat I agree that he treated her horribly, but he had a bad attitude in general (ie the meetings) though he did treat her worse because of her name (which is not good). However, with the rest of the team, I would say only 2-3 people out of the group ever commented on her appearance (that I can remember). One being the weird rich lady and another being the gold digger (sorry I don't know their names).
Another healthy relationship dramas that I recommend is God’s Quiz ( the main couple communicates and supports each other but their relationship is not the main story) and most importantly, Melo is my Nature. They have strong female leads and if they see any abuse or toxic behaviour, they communicate and tell their partners.
Didn’t the guy kiss the girl without consent while he was drunk, right at the start? I think Because this is my first life is a very underrated drama, and has good male leads.
The thing is, if you read about how much domestic violence and abusive behavior happens over in Korea. Most of what you see on screen is just light stuff compared to what happened in real life. Do your research it and see. This is a culture who believes in hierarchy. Basically they're saying the higher up you are the more respect you should get and if you are on the lower-tier the less respect you receive. Women all over are always considered on the lower tear (weaker sex) in most society. You may not want this to be but it's just true. Why else would women be paid less than men even in America still.
@@ephie5048 My heart goes out to you. I feel sadness to hear yet another woman is being mistreated. But you are not alone there are many women that have gone through the same thing as yourself. If you can't leave because of your children. I will pray for you. If you can leave go as soon as possible because you can do bad all by yourself. You deserve to be treated like the queen that you are. What amazes me is no matter how accomplished, educated, or beautiful a woman may be, there will always be a man that will use his strength to try and control her. Some men do not understand that we are meant to loved not be used to show other what men they are. A men that are like this are insecure and unsure of themselves. They feel they are not in control of their own lives. So these so call men will try and control everything else. Which can become dangerous for you and your children. Plus You don't want a husband bad behavior towards you to become an example for your son how a man treat a woman his loves or your daughter looking you a think acceptable behavior on how a woman is supposed to be treated by man who supposed to love her. But if you can't leave be careful if can try teach your children this is not a way to show love.
@@ephie5048 I'm so sorry to hear what had happened to you! Dating violence and domestic violence is a lot more prevalent than we thought. I hope you and your children could leave him, if not, I hope that there is some associations in Korea that could get involved and help.
The thing is men also get abused by women but we don't tell anyone bc then the society will say we are weak you should not cry i know some guy's who were abused by their partner when they told others about this they laughed at them women get away easily while the men has to suffer
Consent is SEXY. Kdramas should Remember this. I also felt uncomfortable in most Kdramas for they way they protrayed relationships and I was scared this was normal in Korea. But nowadays, Kdramas are much better
You know i hate it when people write fanfics or make kdramas about the female or male lead being ugly from the start and the female or male lead not liking him/her but it all turns upside down when someone changes them into attractive and there you go,you're head over heals😙 Edit - Why y'all saying true beauty lmao💀 cuz like suho fell in love with jugyeong when she was pretty but still accepted and loved her as much after finding out her real face,that kinda counts but kinda also doesn't😃 Edt 2.0 - I AM TEAM SEOJUN. Edit 3.0 - LET ME JUST REMIND Y'ALL THAT EVEN IF SEOJUN DIED FOR THE FEMALE LEAD,SHE WOULD ONLY FEEL SAD AND NOT A BIT REGRET OF REJECTING HIM CUZ HE IS THE SECOND MALE LEAD AND THAT IS WRITER'S LOGIC,NO FEMALE LEAD FOR SECOND LEAD.
@@yuanProduction suho liked jugyeong even after seeing her "ugly" face,it isnt relatable tho Tbh moon ga young was pretty even after the so called ugly look.
I just find it weird that she got bullied so bad and once she started doing makeup and changed school, it’s like her whole life just got better * 100000. All problems are solved. It’s like all your happiness is built based on that.
@@yuanProduction that was what i'm trying to say,this is like its phenomenol,when you're ugly,even your hero/heroine does'nt like you but once you transform into some attractive chic,guys are after you and then theres the fight,oH mOvE sHe'S miNE.
And in radio romance she was portrayed as this ugly girl while her hair was curly but when she had a makeover like straightening her hair, doing makeup and all she suddenly started to became more beautiful like WTH. I personally think she suited curls more. And still to this date I don't understand the logic behind it.
My aunt rented her basement to this couple. The lady would always long sleeves even in hot summer days. My aunt and I asked her if doesn't feel hot. She said that her husband doesn't like her showing arms.
@@manga626 please check on her and see if she needs help and be discrete about it. Don’t let the husband find out if you intend to help the woman. And the woman could easily be scared if she is a victim of physical violence so take a soft approach than a direct one.
@@Lee-ns3if i get what you mean, although I rlly like dramas where they are on the same level For example: Strong Woman DBS, Weightlifting Fairy KBJ, pretty much all of Park Minyoung dramas: What's Wrong with Secretary Kim, Her private life (comedies) and When the weather is fine (this one's a bit... indie i guess but it portraits healthy relationship as well), Run On, Hotel De Luna, Search WWW, Graceful Family (this one has romance at the side plot line but it's still hella good) In My ID is Gangnam Beauty - the main character is timid but the guy is nice as well and it's pretty cute Its just to name a few, give them a try if you want :)
I just want to point out to anyone who didn't watch Hello My Twenties, one of the couples in the video that exemplifies controlling behaviors isn't romanticized in the show. In fact, in ends veeery bad
was waiting for someone to comment this. hello my twenties has its faults but it's definitely one of my favorite shows when it comes to the depiction of relationships, especially those between women
I wanted to say this too, by the end of the show it's very clear that all that bf's bad behaviors were red flags that set the stage for his eventual violent crime. I thought they did that well.
The last kdrama that I had watch was Itaewon class and one of the scenes in there really pissed me off, so the scene was the main character girl with short hair stoped a girl from kissing the guy she liked by telling her it’s sexual-harassment if he doesn’t consent then on the same day she went to kiss him while he was passed out drunk 🤦🏽♀️ btw I’m really glad someone decided to talk about this issue with kdramas tending to have a lot of abuse in them
I was surprised too, but then I remembered her character is a sociopath who doesn't care about other people. Her actions are presented as those of someone who really can't see how terrible her actions are. From that perspective, I thought it worked.
Whitney r but that scene wasn’t meant to feel like she was in the wrong it was made to feel innocent or adorable that she wanted her first kiss to be with him because if the show wanted us to feel that she was in the wrong it would’ve made the environment different but it didn’t. the scene where she kissed him without his permission was a lively scene with lively music in the background I also didn’t like how they made her personality trait a psychopath because psychopath is not a personality trait it’s a disorder
@@vanessatrejo5436 hm. I guess I could see that too. I thought she was clearly still in the "bad person" part of her character arc, but you're right that the music and lighting was arranged to make it seem romantic.
This reminds me of True Beauty, a high teen drama from 2021, where one of the subplots is the younger brother who was like 15 had a crush on this girl. She kept rejecting him very clearly and succinctly, but he never gave up and kept trying to get with her. This was super troubling to me, even though they portrayed it as something cute because he was a comedic character. The way they keep these tropes in kdramas and they depict such young characters using them will just continue the cycle smh
I've never watched True Beauty but i read the webtoon. Is it Jugyeong's younger brother? Her brother never even appeared that much in the original story, and that means that in the making of the series they've changed the story by adding things that never even happened just for the sake of cliches. It's honestly so disturbing to know that people still hold onto these abusive behaviors in 2021 😬
While I do think he should have listened to her and given her her space, that’s definitely not the same as these other k-dramas. Juyeong never forced himself onto her or sexually harassed her or anything, he was just being annoyingly persistent. He does end up just wanting to at least be friends, but I don’t think this is quite the same page since it’s not abusive or toxic.
@@damarisc5688 it’s still harassment though. You trying to excuse his behavior is part of the problem, it shouldn’t need to get to the point of someone being sexually harassed or raped, if someone says no that means no. And when you condone the kids behavior as acceptable in the drama it can turn into sexual harassment or rape in the future bc no one shut it down at that stage. People don’t become rapists overnight, it’s bc they were allowed to do certain things and they continued to push the boundaries that they get that far. I hope you don’t think I’m comí for you neck or anything personal, but this is a very serious issue and your train of thought is how a lot of potential future abusers can be made
I have read about a similar situation (someone's true story)- Let's call this person K. K was taking care of a boy who had a crush on a girl but the girl rejected him. And when K asked him what to do when a girl rejects him, he said *to keep trying* . Of course, K was shocked and told him *not to keep going* because if the girl doesn't like him, she doesn't like him. Period. From this story, it's clear how toxic masculinity and superiority of men for so long changes mindsets of males. They gotta be educated on this. (Also fyi, they weren't like 8 year olds rather in an age where they could understand thing like this. So there was a least possibility for the girl to have a crush on him if anyone's wondering)
this video is extremely well made. props to you, creator! in boys over flowers, the male lead let the whole school assault and try to LITERALLY KILL the female lead. yet it was romanticized and portrayed as an act of the male lead liking the female lead. it is still considered as one of the best dramas of all time, like damn bro??? they were committing crimes. another thing is when the male leads are controlling and manipulating, which is "jealousy" and "being sweetly overprotective". the male lead does not own the female lead, freedom should be a must in all relationships. also, in its okay not to be okay, the roles are typically reversed (i haven't completed the show yet) but during the first 6 episodes, the femal lead was really possessive and was touching the man without his consent. im trying to think of a drama where there are none of these problems. in weightlifting fairy kbj, i thought "wow this must be a great drama" until i remember the ml force kissed the fl at HER WORK. edit:maybe cloy!?!? dunno i cant think of anything
A character getting harrassed/abused:
The music: 💖🕺💃💫💫💕✨✨
Yes . The situation and the music doesn't match at all
I literally don't understand it, e.g. when someone is being pulled forcefully the scene is played in slo-mo, the lightning is bright and there's happy music like the frick
@@alwaysricebeforeguys2343 yes and its quite disappointing
LITERALLY lmao
LMFAOO fr
I'd rather date a circus clown who loves and respects me rather than a CEO who abuses me.... happiness first..
Same
Absolutely true.And what I find extremely disturbing is the rich man poor woman storyline.Most of the time,the guy who is extremely powerful bullies the woman into submission with the infamous line"You are MINE" and we treat them as possessive and romantic when in reality it is emotional abuse.And this not only applies to kdramas but many other dramas and even books I've read(even western contemporary romance). People seriously need to stop this.Its so wrong on so many levels
This comment made me wheeze djsmsmsmsnsns I’d date a nice circus clown anyday
Yea thts y I love Im siwan from run on. Beautiful character.
ey circus clowns are lovely to me either way
If these dudes weren’t traditionally pretty these kdramas would turn into long segments of law & order
hahaahaha
imagen if they did though. grab me some popcorn
Someone send this comment to TvN, I’m ready to watch
If by traditionally pretty, you mean they plastic surgery their faces, then you are not wrong.
Sugarplumpie where are you from?
The scenes that Koreans never got over with, as of 2021:
1. Wrist grabbing
2. Pushing female to the wall
3. Forced kissing
I dont even find this romantic at all.
And jealousy scenes
And then after the actresses make their eyes wide due to shock. People's comment be like-
These actresses don't know to kiss at all. It doesn't seem natural at all
🤦🤦
@@mirroruniverse9331 i think it's because male lead do it suddenly without telling. Most of these kiss scenes are forced by ml
4) Girl gets crazy drunk and male lead finds it cute,doesnt force himself on her.Reality can be and does go different at times.
Because it isn't romantic. It is abusive. I've been watching some Japanese old dramas and of course there are a few bad scenes here and there, mostly inappropriate words to women, not always but sometimes depending on the drama but I haven't seen anything this bad.
“So what’s your love language?”
the male leads: *abuse*
i'm glad newer dramas are less problematic
stuff like itaewon class, for example, is progressive in so many ways
@@stonecat676 I see you have great taste
@@stonecat676you should watch a love so beautiful but the new one and it's okay to not be okay
"My love language is physical touch" *slap*
@@stonecat676 omg, I was gonna watch that but wasn’t sure, now I’m definitely gonna watch it
it's always the male lead who has "trauma" and takes it out on female lead. what if the female lead has trauma too? it's irrelevant bc her only purpose is to be pretty, forgiving and "heal" the male lead.
Its okay to not be okay kinda shows this--still a bit disturbing because the female's actions are taken lightly all because shes pretty
OMG! Yes, when I read the comments on the drama Love in sadness which actually IS about abusive marriage than the wife gets plastic surgery you will see how the fans will be so compassionate over the abuser and say that the female lead let him down and that it was her fault that he got to where is is because that is her job to calm his storm and to safe him and heal him. The guy hit her and forced himself on her and pulled out a pistol and fake shot her like WHAT? I’m assuming that these were young 14 year olds but that’s even scarier to think that they feel this way.
This is why I prefer manhwas.
At least you know in manhwas that the story is detached from reality, no matter how extreme.
@@noahi.1381 uh
@@noriii Yeah, K-dramas are also fiction. We still watch/read these in our reality where the can absolutely influence us. Art imitates life.
I think i finally found the reason why i have always been rooting for the second male lead in older romance kdramas, cuz the second male lead are often depicted as the opposite of the first male lead, more gentle, calmer, kindhearted, and more respectful towards the female lead
Yes!! This is why I liked Dream High😂😍 Suzy just really went with the Second lead (Kim Soohyun) bc the main wasn’t around🤣
@@swagwanhyung8413 Kim so hyun was the male lead in dream high...go browse their casting news
@@preciousemeka3546 SPOILERS!! yeah but how the story was is that Ok Taecyeon is the typical male lead... At the first part of the show, he was shown more and he is the Love Interest of Suzy! He is tough, fights, and her “protector”. Kim Soohyun was the second lead. Suzy wasn’t interested in him at all. He has qualities of a second lead. He is the comic relief, the kind one, and he never leaves her side.
@@preciousemeka3546 the sites were changed a lot... I remember that when it was aired everyone thought Ok Taecyeon is the male lead because he harasses Suzy basically. They had the first kiss. Only in the later episodes did Suzy like Kim Soohyun.
@@preciousemeka3546 He was the male lead but the drama kind of made it look like he was the second male lead the whole time XD
I remember a Chinese romance where a guy throws a girls ring out into the snow and she spends hours digging through the snow to find the ring again and bring it back to him for him to love her. This video reminded me of that because I was like
1. come on, dude, why would you throw that?
2. come on, girl, why would you be that desperate? He just threw it! lol
What the hll😃
They play with this a little bit in extraordinary you.
Search up "extraordinary you baek kyung throws rock in ocean"
(I know it's so specific)
@@samandsophia5632 in her defense she had to
@@samandsophia5632 yeah but the whole plot of the series is the FL trying to break away from the common trope of weak girl falling for the bad boy. And that scene was forced by the writer on her character, not her own choice
I watched Well Intended Love, where the FL approaches the ML because she finds out she has cancer and needs his help only to find out he orchestrated the whole thing because he liked her. Such a toxic plot.
I hate the phrase "if a boy bullies you he likes you" because it normalize abuse and toxic masculanity
This and it's the same with novels. I've read countless where a guy is just a jerk with a girl and it was because "he likes her" or "he had bad past" and i was like nah this is so toxic.
Just abuse
@@هدي-ه8ظ Ehh, I can kind of see the toxic masculinity. It's like saying a man isn't allowed to be outright affectionate towards you or confess his feelings in a non-aggressive way, that he has to be "manly" and tough and not show genuine emotion. Which falls under toxic masculinity.
in middle school a boy broke my arm and the elderly were laughing at the story at telling me he did it because he likes me........wtf???????......also the school just told me to ignore it cause that's what boys do)))))))
@@pandaluna1751 Yesssss.
That "boys will be boys thing".
No. Dudes need to get language classes to learn how to speak if the only way they know how to express themselves is through violence or indifference and aloofness.
It's abusive tropes like these that delude young girls into thinking they can change an abusive man in a relationship with their love in real life. It never ends well.
lucky for me i got to live my early childhood and teen years with my dad as a role model
I fell for it and yea no don’t teach your children that please
I seriously hate that mindset, a person's trauma has to be dealt by them and only them a supportive s/o can only be well, supportive, and that's enough, you can't "change" anyone, you can encourage them to seek help, suport them through their journey but that's it. They are their own person who has to work put their issues and you are your own person who has your own life. Their issues are only theirs, you can't magically make them disappear through the power of LoVe.
ngl, as I was watching this I started to realize how much dating abuse I was starting to accept as normal
preach!!
every time i see a CEO or any rich male lead im like: oh well, time to root for the second lead because this one is probably trash
YESS LIKE EVERY SINGLE ML LEAD MUST BE RICH AND CEO FAMILY! UGH!
while the second male lead is simple, kind, and nice person! But OFC weak, stupid, and clumsy FeMC don't need them ugghhh....
strong woman do bong soon doesn't include this. it's a great show, you should check it out if you haven't already
@@lisgoldqn yes, he’s probably the only ceo male lead who doesn’t fit into the asshole type😂
Ya fr. When they introduce a hot billionaire or a bad guy or a hot guy who bullies her in school/college....my first thought is "here u go another typical story where these hot mfs are toxic, having distrubing past the excuse for their "toxic behaviour" and mc will try to heal them but others will say how mc is a lucky girl coz the guy is hot"💀
@@lisgoldqn I am watching it currently and he is not an asshole .....yet I hope he doesn't turn into one
woman in story: **screaming for male to stop trying to kiss her**
people: *ah yes, a perfect scene for my fanfic-*
like this is so sick bruh !
Make the lead unattractive and change the music and all of a sudden it's no longer cute or funny. Ppl don't realize it was never cute or funny to begin with.
Fr
Fr
Fr
Rf
You see these scenes where less attractive villains harassing female leads and the male leads rescuing them. The only difference between the so-called male leads that those villains is that the male lead is more attractive .
I know these dramas are not real but sometimes I wonder about the life of the characters after the credits starts rolling on the screen. After the so-called “and they lived happily ever after” scene they imply at the end. How long can the fl tolerate the over controlling character of the ml?
It’s also interesting how the aggressive male leads become nice after dating the shy sweet girl. But the girl doesn’t gain anything from dating such a guy. He doesn’t add anything to her life other than unnecessary stress and possessiveness. He’s the only one that’s gaining anything from this forced relationship. Clearly toxic
But she has a boyfriend now.
I'm pretty sure that it's supposed to be "the jackpot"...
For the female lead they say "you are lucky" just coz she got a hot bf when in reality wtf will she gain by a toxic guy who is just GOOD-LOOKING??? He gained a lot coz he became a good person... bitch HE IS LUCKY not HER.
Now, she has the biggest treasure on earth: a man.
Yeah, because essentially she becomes a vessel of HIS humanity. The man doesn't change anything within himself, he only "improves" through taking credit for his woman's good qualities. He lives through her and consumes her empathy, generousness and a far richer inner life, while reminding her once in a while that she will be punished if she ever tries to separate from him. And all the negging is done to gaslight her into thinking that she's not good enough and no other man will take and protect her. I no longer buy the "it's just romance fiction" excuse, because it's all really similar to the tactics that abusers use on their victims in real life. The fact that girls are taught that this is romantic is kind of like collective grooming on a massive scale.
lol Ryeo
I honestly like new dramas. The female leads are intense. They will totally rip you apart if you try to force them😂
AGREE. The ones that I hate the most are Boys Over Flowers and Playful Kiss
Agree. Love the new storylines these days. I stopped watching many old dramas mid way because of these issues.
That's abuse too
@@joshua_here5849 If they will hit you if you are "forcing" them, like OP said, then that is self-defense. However, if a female lead behaves like an abusive male lead, that is abuse too. Not many would agree with me but, Ko Moo Young in "It's okay to not be okay" was also very manipulative and abusive. Her personality disorder may explain why she was like that, but that doesn't make her behavior romantic.
@@shreejatadas9922 you can Jun ji hyuns role in My Sassy girl too, like the film is domestic violence and torture being normalised
As an old person, and a foreigner, I have always had the idea that such behaviors in Korean Drama must in some way reflect a cultural truth about Korea. We here in America like to think it's different here. But it isn't. You describe the situations so well, and you provide visuals that make your points stick. No woman will ever "tame" an. abusive man. It just doesn't work that way. Women all over the world will recognize the truth in this. Well done!
I was thinking the same, is it tha behavior notmal in Korea or what?
For real is it? I'm so curious about that.
@@CrimsonGhost553from what I've read, YES! But maybe not to this extreme 😂 I hear about the guys bullying the girls all the time
That’s one of the many reasons why i didnt like boys over flowers when it came out smh. I was a kid but all i saw was a boy bullying a girl into like him back.
Meteor Garden taiwanese series as well
yess i used to like boys over flower since it was my first drama, but when I rewatched it again I realized how messed up it is actually,. i was so disappointed when the female lead didn't end up with the second male lead.
Me too.
yeah and dont forget how cringey it was.. 1 girl surrounded by many boys lol as if it'll happen in real life 😂😂
exactly i never liked boys over flowers either ..why the hell do people like these kind of abusive stuff
In my opinion the part of the trope where "the guy becomes a better person because the female lead changed them" is the most dangerous part of it all...
I have met way too many girls who believe this type of shit can happen and then think that enduring this type of abuse is a way of showing love. No, girl, showing love is sending this guy to a therapist, and this is showing love to both yourself and to the guy.
I agree completely! Women cannot change men! Only when the men want to change for themselves and to be a better person then they can. But if they don’t want to change they won’t no matter how hard a girl thinks she can try to “help” or “fix him” It’s that toxic thought of “oh he will change for me because he loves me and I love him and I’ll make him into a better person.” Umm no use your common sense and leave them be.
^ learned this the hard way.. COUGHmyfirstloveCOUGH
Exactly
I agree
So true. If you don’t draw the line, why should he ever feel the need to change?
Women are not rehabilitation centers for broken men.
This is what kdramas should be about.
So true…no st Barnard syndrome! Stop
Exacly they should go to a real therapist or psychologist.
Luckily, MOST of kdramas are like what you want, they are very egalitarian and condemn any abuse. I like that about kdramas. Few violent kdramas like Boys Over Flowers are exception rather than a rule. Except the grabbing the hand. THat is in most kdramas. But without any violent action after. kdramas are not perfect and are the best out there...
@@SpiralOnUp that is the kdramas now to say like the modern ones of 21st I think century kdramas but kdramas before were not like that
Couldn't agree more.
I can't describe the peace I felt while watching Run On. Absolutely love the scenes where the female lead comforted and stood up for the male lead. They always supported each other and maintained their personal space.
I need that kinda relationship in my life
I like Run on too!
Run on was such a nice break from all the forcefulness that dramas usually have to progress the main couple's relationship.
@@yuanProduction What do you think about Strong woman do bong soon? And legend of the blue sea?
@@Sophia-vj8sg I enjoyed Legend of the Blue sea,it wasn't the best, but it was a good watch. Their romance was sweet and they respected each others feelings.
I enjoyed WWW Search so much! ❤
Everyone in the comment section praising the new female leads for being strong and protective are still re-enforcing victim blaming when they're complaining about other female leads NOT being strong. Because its the fault of these women for not protecting themselves or being weak. These women are important and yes its refreshing but not all women have it in them to be like them so these "weaker" women shouldn't be put down for it. Neither of them should be.
And tbh I don’t think the best way to show a strong new female lead is to present one that can harass ml and doing all cliches that a guy usually does to date a guy...
@@yuanProduction yeah i think they misunderstood when fans said they didn't like it. "Oh so you think the male shouldn't harass the female oh ok we'll make the female harass the male that'll be perfect." Harassment is still harassment no matter who does it to who. It just defeats the purpose. A strong female lead doesn't need to be aggressive, able to fight, or manly to be cool or a strong female lead.
Well said!! 👏 👏
I feel like these two things do not have to be mutually exclusive. Like a lot of the audience of these shows is women and it is empowering to see these women stand up for themselves and even dump the asshole. To know that you can have power in such a situation. It doesn't mean that a woman who can't stand up for herself is ever at fault.
@@mayananji yes i agree. I love seeing empowered women as much as the next girl but i also hate it when the girl is being blamed for not being 'strong'. Not all women can fight or are interested in it. Or even just being sarcastic, sassy, or tough. I'm thankful these strong female leads are being shown and they are important but women who don't have it in them to be that shouldn't be blamed for it.
“I can change him.”
“Yeah change him into an MMA Fighter.”
LMAO
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣
This comment wins hahahah
LMAO
Also excessively possessive male leads are NOT attractive like wtf ... she got male friends and you're gonna be effed up about THAT ??!!! All your past trauma has to be endured by the girl for what ???!! Girls ain't rehab centers for damaged men has been said so many times but these dramas jut say f off to that whole theory... a single scene like that spoils the entire drama for me and I'll not watch it no matter how popular it's said to be .. for me it'll suck :)
exactly! Girls are not some magical healing unicorns for guys to deal with their childhood traumas. Vice versa. I mean yes ppl do change and become better in a love relationship. But sometimes these dramas are going too far. But yeah I guess people wanna see some crazy tensions on tv
Exaccctly
Really?? Right now if RM would scold you , you would get @roused for sure,
Its korean culture,
@@GigiM_winx dude no i wouldn't first off having a bias is very inferior compared to liking someone and even if such a thing was done by someone i liked I'd dump their ass and move on 'cause those are the basics of self respect hope you get the idea and broaden your horizons ... and if you're still not satisfied then there's nothing i can do to help you because helping or dealing with people who have messed up their very concept of self love and deserved respect under the pretense of any culture is not my responsibility.
@@GigiM_winx it being culture doesn't make it okay
These sorts of aggressive men irl scare me to death. My mom always said, "Men, in general, have more anger than females. Men being calm is a miracle". She's right. I see it every day when I go out. It's sad really.
The reality is there is so much men like this but women will not complain if they are rich and handsome 50 shades of grey is the perfect example
@@Deliahszepinzky Alas I also see the case you mention. A lot of women are ready to tolerate anything as long as they marry the wealthy :/
So much of this. Honestly, I don't fear anything but I definitely fear the anger of a man. Because you can never tell what he may do to you or to others.
Because of high testosterone, maybe. Makes you more aggressive. I remember in my high school the boys would fight ALL the time 💀
@@Deliahszepinzky ya some girls are like that
"Something in the rain" is too shocking. When you are sexually assaulted, you would expect your s/o to support and understand you... "why are you scared of trash like him?" bc he's stalking and physically attacking her ??? unbelievable!
Agree😔
In something in the rain the girl doesn't stay in the toxic relationship far as I remember
That one made me the angriest. How could someone ever ask that question? She got stalked and assaulted, and he has the audacity to ask her why she would be scared of him?! Of course it's scary!
I think this show is not the best example. Jun Hui along with Jin-a's brother go to confront that ex-bf/stalker guy because he was harassing Jin-a. Also, this drama also portrays workplace harrassment in a very real way. So maybe this show is not that toxic.
Actually, I think that misses the point of the drama. It tries to be realistic, and his reaction is, most of us were blamed in such situations. The other ones are filled with cliches. i even recommend watching one night of spring, from the same author. She tries to portray prejudices an abuse without flinching away from the topic by making it clear that it's not the girl's fault. She tries to make it so blunt and in your face that it leaves you astonished to a whole lot of abuses that are commonplace in asian life.
I'd like to add that some of the kdramas these days add tropes like mc's mother who is considered "dominant" and the father to be "soft" or so and its seen that she always hits him or verbally abuses him and these are all scenes shown as "comic relief" when its still abuse.
True. Female characters are toxic too in many ways(like yesoh of itaewon class) but they are appreciated equally like these male leads.
SO TOXIC UGH!
Exactly what I was thinking, one example being convenience store saet byul
True I'm rewatching something in the rain and the mom in it is so abusive to everybody espically her daughter
True! Abuse knows no gender!
i was pinned against the wall in front of the entire class when i was in college by some dude and he wouldnt stop staring at me and i was so fricking uncomfortable.. i tried pushing him and crawling away but he would hold me it wasnt as romantic as how kdramas framed it at all..
Thanks for sharing! I wish more ppl could share their own stories to tell the public that this kind of behaviour is not romantic at all.
My friend cried when a dude she was arguing with pinned her to the wall. She was angry, furious, at first and then just broke down crying after the danger passed. Till this day, I don't understand why that dude do it.
It was on my last year of middle school.
Yuck
Creepy and cringey! Wow sorry you went through that, that guy sounds psychotic
Someone did same thing to me in college, i slid down the wall shifted myself under his arm while staring at him. Students laughed and he never bothered me again. I hate this trope
I remember watching 'Heirs' many years ago and people were somehow swooning over that forced closet kiss scene where the girl looked just so uncomfortable and scared. I was like "is there something I'm missing??" because there was absolutely nothing hot about that awful claustrophobic non-consensual kiss
I HATED that drama so much and was also surprised as to WHY it was so popular.
The actress was not aware the kiss was going to.happen. The director told the actor to do the scene cause of the story line so her reaction was geniune.
It's so manipulative that they have good-looking actors portray abusive boyfriends. It's like saying that if he's hot, he's not bad or creepy, just "troubled" and you need to fix him with your love 🤦♀️
Yessss
very good analysis. Indeed you will often see in K drama this kind of scenario with or without physical abuse but stalking for example. If the guy is good looking the girl should submit and love him because deep down he is a good lad. Proofs : he is handsome what other proof do you need. The social statue has his importance too, the handsome abusive guy must be richer and have a higher social status so if the abused girl complain everybody will insult her saying that she doesn't know what love is and how lucky she is. At that moment the girl is trapped, she would have to show an aspect of human personality ( confidence ) that people who watch those drama do not associate with a feminine personality.
I am psychologue but I was abused by my father, as were my mother and older brother. You may imagine how I feel when I watch those kdrama ( before judging you need to watch it) and I was even more destabilized when I noticed that many people found that romantic or cute. On the other side which means the reality discovering that many girls were raped during a first date, or bullied for not being pretty or fat and also seeing that the media were relaying those offensive act as something normal and that seeing abuse in those behaviors was just the outside world not being able to understand and respect their culture. That's pretty mest up. I lived in Asia and had the possibility to visit Korea, Jap etc.many times...the number of young women with the protection put on the nose after a plastic surgery was insane. And don't think that becoming older will gives more authority ho no far from this. Women are expected to serve their family has to were clothe that reflect their age, so you won't be able to wear what you really want and even your haircu has to change when you get married, then when you have a child and when you become grand parent. A lot of women of my age were laughing at me because of my style, I didn't care at least I didn't look like 1000% of the population and being different is my trademark ) but it gives you an idea on how people keep this abusive behaviors toward womenn go on.
PS: I am French-speaking so I may have made mistakes in my writing sorry about that.
This mindset made my younger years a living hell. Putting the hottie on a pedestal and accepting shitty behavior for a lot of years. Not anymore though.
this is exactly the case in Nevertheless, many viewers did not see how manipulative the ML is
I think in a way, that depending on how you look at it also shows that even pretty boys/men can be abusive. Just because they do not 'look' evil doesn't mean that they can not be evil.
The romanticisation of abusive relationships is dangerous to the real girls and woman that watch and place those types of relationships on a golden pedestal.
I think that there is a fine line between portraying an abusive relationship to create awareness of these types of relationships and just out right romanticising it.
We should definitely keep talking about this and these important issues.
*It is so sad that people are normalizing these behaviors*
It’s not in korea. I live in korea, and they are sooo offensive about that kind of behaviors lol
if it happen to average girl but boy is handsome peopel think its normal when some old or ugly guy do there is nothing normal it is called abuse understand especially in korea
This video. Is so so exact realistic. Everytime they suger coat the aggresive behaviour of male lead with dark past or cuteness. thank u next. Thus video is beautiful an eye opener. N yes. Women don't need a guy to protect her and persistent approach of a guy won't make her fall for you. Be strong girls. Decide what u want.
True
can u write in normal fonts
'Boys Over Flowers' was a whole ass nightmare.
The male lead bullied the female lead,assaulted her,humiliated her,forcefully kissed her,even kidnapped her.
Still this is considered as one of the best kdramas of all time!WTF!
Thank you!!! Like I thought I was the only one that found it so weird that he was such an asshole to her and it was supposed to be cute
I also didn't find it romantic in any way.
I didn't even liked that show at all. And all its versions. But trust me Taiwanese version is still the worst upto this date where the ml slaps the fl and the very next day gifts her a necklace and asks sorry and all. I just hate that show to my core.
@@deepabiju252 true i was gonna watch it but then i saw that scene on yt and i decided to not watch it
@@deepabiju252 Damn.Glad I didn't see the Taiwanese version.
I think the Chinese Version (Meteor Garden 2018) is better than others.
It has least bullying.But still some of the scenes made me uncomfortable
All those red flags walking around being seen as excellent romantic partners.
Please know that you are not responsible for doing the work to heal another’s trauma. That’s their own work to do.
yes exactly! It’s dangerous to think that you can heal someone, make someone a better person in the relationship! No matter you are a girl or a boy
What is that person is my father? what if I want to fix my father
@@aira6951 You can try and communicate with him, make some efforts, but you can’t really heal or fix him, it’s his job. The most you can do is probably be there for him and communicate the issues you see.
@@aira6951 All we can really do is extend some sort of help. We can’t expect them to accept it. Healing is always and forever will be something you seek. Just because you’re offered help doesn’t mean you are ready to face your own demons. This doesn’t make them a bad person, but everyone’s story is different and should be honored on their own terms and time. I also want to stress knowing and honoring your own boundaries. You peace should not be at risk because of another persons wrong doing. Good luck! ❤️
@@aira6951 I had the same idea like you, until last year. As perfect as people see my family is, each person has trauma that we struggled to move on from. And for my parents, I thought that it was my responsibility to heal them, *but that is very wrong.* It was not my place to _heal_ them. I ended up exhausting myself mentally and emotionally.
Your father must _want_ that change for *himself,* before he could properly start the healing journey. Only then that you could _support_ him on the side throughout *his efforts* towards the betterment.
In my case, I must not take part in any of their process, because when I did, they just straightaway dumped the responsibility to me. I would end up accommodating their excuses instead of us individually improving towards a better lifestyle. This had scarred me more than I come to admit, the accumulated stress has become a trauma itself that I continue to struggle healing all by myself.
I hope for the best in your journey, and I pray for you an unwavering strength 🌸 may the future shine brighter for you and your beautiful soul.
I- how can anyone see FORCEFUL KISSING and b like ...dam thats hot???????
Edit: jesus I didnt even realise people were liking this comment
For real! I always have to walk away or drop the show entirely because uH NOT CUTE?!? Very very scary, especially when you see the lead either shocked or struggling because they don’t want to be dragged, pushed against a wall and have someone’s face pressed against them so hard leaving no point of escape...very much psychical harassment
BOYS OVER FLOWERS. I hated Lee Minho's character from beginning to end. Force kissing, even when dating, is unacceptable.
That one scene from boys over flowers where he was force kissing was so uncomfortable and disgusting 😀✋
as a kid i was so confused
For one it’s because the actors are attractive & letting pretty people get away with things, secondly it’s the idea of getting pursued or ravished. This isn’t to justify IRL sexual abuse however. It’s a fantasy vs. reality thing also.
This is probably why I have second lead syndrome. The second lead is always the kind and caring guy and the main lead is abusive and even tho hot, usually abusive.
Exhibit A : Jihoo from Boys over Flower 😭 I liked him so much and he was so kind and caring
im currently watching this show called my shy boss and yeah just like the title says its about a male boss being shy but his workers think hes abusive, manipulating, prick and not caring...and thats not the case, the main lead whos is female mad at him for a car crash now works for him...there are some conflicts and crazy parts but its quite nice the boss likes the girl who is also his fav actress.....its quite nice to see a not a dominate male all the time..like it, hes a gentleman
yeah everybody keep saying that and when it happened I meant second lead won in Love Romance people hate it, because Sun Oh was cute
My exact feelings over Romance is a Bonus Book
@@harinder13137 oh god ty for the recommendation.
The exact reason why I have second male lead syndrome. They're usually gentler, calm and naturally nice. The only reason they don't get together is because if they already did, then the drama would be cut short and considered boring.
People love those type of things in kdrama until it happens to them.
*Thanks for the likes everyone* 👏👏👏
Also I never said the movies/ series aren't good or you shouldn't watch it😑😑 I was talking about the crazy behaviors of the men in them , the stalking / following and abusive behavior because youths would see this and romanticized about having a relationship like that
Fr those abusive or yandere, possessive, psycho relationships are not funny. As soon as you experience it, its a whole diffrent image.
👍
Fully agree. We may watch it on the screen since it is a fiction. But I would not like to experience it in real life. This is not romantic behaviour at all.
Most people wouldn’t notice it until the abuser is ugly
ur pfp really fit this truthful comment
I’m actually so happy with the new kdramas in 2020 and 2021 most of them have strong female leads who don’t tolerate abuse
Same
And they also need to start adding more gentleman and kind hearted male lead who actually respected women
@@myrashamer13 in this aspect I think the best one so far was Run On like I’ve never seen such a healthy relationship in a kdrama like that
@@hindq.6842 Ohh im gonna check on that later, thanks for your recommendation! The last time i actually watch kdrama were sky castle and the penthouse. Those types of genre are the only one i can keep on watching these days 😂
@@myrashamer13 I like those genres too 😂😂 especially sky castle and stranger those two are my favorite so far but Run On is sooo good even tho I don’t really watch lovey dovey shit 💀 it’s soo worth it
Things that have to change in kdramas:
1) romanticising abusive relationship
2) excusing toxic behaviour due to broken families
3) childhood sweethearts that somehow remember each other 20 years later, as if like u can rmb what you did when you were four
+ that stupid breaking up and getting back together after a (few) year(s). Like realistically, who wouldn't have moved on?
last one is okay ? it just makes it wholesome??? and others needs to be changed yup
@@disha21_ bruh no Women aren't therapist for broken men
@@musicchannel4453 no they’re talking about the childhood friends one is okay and it seems rather harmless. It’s fine if it’s done correctly, but the other traits need to go-
IM DEAD NUMBER 3 IS SO FUNNY BUT SO TRUE LMAO
I love how they soften the toxicity of the moment by adding soft relaxing 🎹 music 🎶
You left out Playfull Kiss, seeing the way the female lead is treated by the male lead is cringy and it makes me mad.
You are right. Hahhahah I watched the Korean one, the Japanese one and Taiwanese one. Every time when I watch it, I hate the male lead lol The Taiwanese one is a bit better cause it has more episodes so it kinda massaged it
Yes it gets on my nerves while the second make lead is the perfect guy but she doesn’t even recognize it while he continues to play with her feelings but harassing her I don’t understand that
@@boboplasthegameblue i was rooting for the second male lead so much when I was watching this drama. I think the female lead should punch the male lead and leave him for good lololololol
The real actor in the Korean one has been brought up on multiple abuse charges against his ex girlfriend
The ML treated her like trash. I wonder she still married him
A more recent and popular example is Suho from True Beauty. The way he follows her everywhere, the time that he went to the mall where she was with Seojun and tried to drag her out, the way that he gets angry at her when she is with other guys (even when they are not dating), when he told her to quit her job because he was jealous, and overall they way that he always he felt entitled to her because he liked her first. Some people may try to excuse him but I think it is important that we recognize those subtle things small red flags to look out for in real life relationships.
Hmm, I think this is a bit exaggerated since it was supposed to be a character who was immature (all of the characters were immature since it was a high school drama). Suho grew out of that. Maybe I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure they portrayed him this way to convey a high school immature mindset. However, I do find wrongs in the stalking. That creeped me out. We need to differentiate between dramas and real life. Both are drastically different and should be treated drastically different, however, some people can’t tell between those two. Reality and fiction.
Seojun was so much better and understanding
Was this the live action?? Suho is completely different in the webtoon, he’s really passive and doesn’t really bother her. Even when she was dating Seojun, he accepted it and left her alone most of the time, and only helped her out as a friend whenever she needed it.
Nah for me, both character Suho & Seojun are red flags in the beginning. Suho being possessive to her, stalking & Seojun toying her bc of Suho and even told him to meet his dead friend in the afterlife. But I'm glad there are character developments & they finally figured things out, Suho apologized to Jug & Seojun apologized to Suho.. they changed & became better in the end :)
@Yohannie idc about the webtoon. We are talking about the Drama here
Record of Youth put scenes where the man ask for the woman's permission before they have an intense kiss. The man also scold his friend for grabbing a woman's hand. They also put the scene where the manager confused because the boys didn't punch each other when they have argument. They break up in a very clear conversation without yelling, forcing kiss, or grab hands. And more. Unfortunately, some people are getting used to these types of korean romance so they thought it's boring to see this drama.
wow, i didnt et pass 2 eps because i thought it was boring, maybe i should give it another try
@@toucanpam5036 it's a slice of life drama. It will goes slowly with their character development. So many different genres for k-drama and it could possibly not fit with your taste. But I recommend you to give it a try ☺
@@personaljourney5142 Yeah, i might try and watch again, just to get away from all the other toxic dramas, for example i started watching meteor garden but had to stop when the ml literally sexually assaulted the fm
@@personaljourney5142 Also, do you have a my drama list account, if so id like to add you to my friends list, my username is report_frog.
@@toucanpam5036 no, I don't have one. Thank you for sharing your account, maybe I have to consider to make that one 😊
tbh before watching this video, i used to see these behaviors and interactions as cute, more specifically the wrist pulling. But after seeing this i came to realize, as the video says, that these are abusive behaviors. This has also made me realize that abusive behaviors aren't always out there. Some behaviors are obvious, like hitting or pulling someone, and then there are subtle ones like making a remark or playfully harassing someone. Thank you for making this video this has really opened my eyes. I hope when i get into a relationship that i will be able to see these behaviors as signs and criticize my partner.
6:21
*Male character force pulls female characters*
The cameraman at every angle that exists: 🧍♂️📸 🚣♂️ 📸 🏂📸
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂 and he can't speak so he must pull her lol
and the slow motion
@@jsjdgj7768 sucks🤣
The music: 💕😘✨💋🌈🎀
Unfortunately abuse is also normalized in popular American films like Indiana Jones and Twilight too. I started watching foreign films like Boys over Flowers when I was a teen and I thought it was normal especially since I experienced abuse in my own home and outside of my home and now I realized it was wrong. I didn’t realize that it was NOT normal until I had a mental breakdown in college and went to therapy.
Same
@@npcimknot958 yes it is I see people my age say they want an abusive boyfriend because it is thrilling and fun
Glad you're doing better now
@@zannys5133 I agree with both you, I feel like American media doesn’t romanticize this behavior as widely as Kdramas do, but theres literally a trend on tik tok rn where ppl say they want a toxic s/o 🤦♀️
@@a.j.w9992 and also on wattpad there are stories that glorify abusive/toxic relationship
THE AMOUNT OF SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT I FEEL IN FORCED KISSING SCENES AND WHEN THEY PUSH THE GIRL TO THE WALL
SAME
SAMEE
SAME. I just watched a clip from the drama "Meteor Garden" where the male lead pins her to the wall and kisses her with force and literally abuses her.😭 I dk what to do anymore.
If someone did that to me I be like *pushes the aggressive guy* and then kicking him in the balls done 😂😂😂
@@davina4847 idk why my bff likes that drama and she has watched it like 3 times already- Im asking her today lol
Thank you for this. More and more people should see this and realize that they have been brainwashed by these toxic behaviors in Kdramas and that these Kdramas have been sending the wrong messages about relationships.
This topic about abuse and victim blaming is something significant to me, because i experienced those things nearly 2 years ago. Although i wasn't physically abused and harassed, i was gaslighted and financially abused by a person who is not even worth my time and money. The victim blaming shown in this video reminded me of the time when i would get blamed and endlessly apologize for something i didn't even do. Things like "it's your fault why I've become like this" or "you're the reason why I've distanced myself from you." It was probably the most horrible thing that happened to my mental well-being in my whole entire life. I felt like I was literally going crazy. I didn't understand myself anymore, I feel trapped, I lost my self esteem. I even keep on thinking I should have never been born at all. It was that terrible. And I would never want anyone to go through something horrible and traumatic like that, but I can't control those things from happening. That's why I really wish I could become an advocate that tackles about mental abuse, victim blaming, gaslighting, etc., but it's kind of difficult to happen. So I'll just do the best i can in spreading awareness about the harsh reality of abusive men and people in general.
Lastly, if you're dating someone or considering someone to be ur s/o who shows these red flags, please please please listen to us who have experienced it. Save your heart and distance yourself from those awful men while you still can.
thanks for sharing your experince!
@@yuanProduction you're welcome! Thank you also for making this video. ❤
Say it with me: “ Too much protection is suffocation and control “.
@@npcimknot958 Yes.
Yes
@@npcimknot958 yes
@@npcimknot958
Yes!
As much as physical abuse is ignored in kdramas, I think the amount of emotional abuse is also alarming. There are a lot of dramas where I never felt glad for the main leads' so called "happy ending" because of how toxic or unhealthy their relationship is. Back then, I would watch dramas until the end even though I clearly felt uncomfortable with a lot of scenes but now, I don't care if I don't finish it!
I swear if I don't like the drama I don't bother finishing
same I have tons of dramas that I never finish
Yasssssss! I used to say that life is too short for bad dramas, but now I would say, life is too short for toxic dramas.
Same I am so picky with it, I will drop a drama quick now
100% agree i will never root for a couple that stems from toxicity
And it’s worse when they show the second lead as the perfect guy because I get so mad at the lead woman like “DO YOU NOT SEE HOW AMAZING HE IS???”
EXACTLY like clearly 2nd guy is the better option!
EXACTLY!
In chinese version of "a love so beautiful" the second lead is literally goals for a woman. He was really sweet and truly loved the girl ..however the girl ended up choosing the main lead who was really cold to her and didn't care about her until second lead appears.
@@litlifes3278 and people still love the male lead with the lead girl more smh
boys over flowers, yoon ji hoo the second lead was so much sweeter, truly loved the girl, and was an actual good person. the main ml on the other hand let the school assault, humiliate, ruin her family, ruin her reputation and try to kill her, but still got the fl in the end????
One KDrama that made me feel very uncomfortable was "My Secret Romance." The lead couple met, had a one-night stand, then didn't meet until 3 yrs later. The female lead unknowingly accepted a job where the male lead was the big boss. When the male lead realized that she was working in his company, he started giving her unreasonable tasks that for me come really close to bullying. It was portrayed as funny and romantic because he was "in love" with her... Romantic because he was trying to hide his feelings but when he's alone. the actor would act as if he was longing for her. But in real life, all his "tactics/actions" would be considered manipulative, forceful, and disrespectful.
I think the biggest issue is there is no balance between the Sexes. The Females are betrayed too weak and meek, instead of capable and strong. While the Males are portrayed as too aggressive, making behavior like controlling and possessive normal, instead of promoting positive behaviors like protective, caring and chivalrous... It makes me said this is the world we live in.
But now there are shows like hotel del Luna and it’s okay to not be okay where the female lead is really strong. Also startup, strong woman do bong soon, the last empress, weight lifting fairy, eternal monarch. We see this issue much more in the older shows like around the time of boys over flowers and playful kiss
Because in biology we are physically weak and emotional 😭
@@dontknow4995 it’s okay to not be okay was so uncomfortable to watch
@@tc-zl5rs Oh how was it uncomfortable? I haven't really seen it, but I've seen clips and some parts of the episodes, and it seems pretty good?
@@desertmoonlee6631 I think they mean strong minded and also some women are stronger than men uno
This is why I loved strong girl bong soon because the male lead was not abusive or rude and was even like able for once, the male lead loved how strong the female lead was Since the beginning and they were actually a pretty good couple🥰
That's one of my favorite dramas!
Strong girl bong soon is the drama that made me start watching korean dramas it was just sooo perfect 😢
The main leads were not problematic. They r my fav couple(my fav drama so far) but fl's mom was really abusive though. They way she treated bong soon, her husband, just.....too.... Abusive. She's always either physically abusive or verbally. Who in the world asks ur own child to sleep with someone else. Just to name one of her abusive char. But yes still will be my fav drama, cause minmin-bongbong😍😍
SAME!
its a great kdrama, if you rewatch it though you'll notice that the male lead uses the phrase ''i'll protect you'' very often. still its better than other ones i guess
It’s so weird that in so many dramas the female lead has two options the attractive but completely possessive and abusive one or the respectful, nice, funny and a bit less attractive one and she still thinks about who she gonna pick like girl?😂
And sometimes the second guy is more attractive (She Was Pretty) but the fishhook of childhood love is in deep. I actually think that it might be less of a choice than it might seem. Don’t they use these behaviors mixed with occasional kindness to eventually create a sort of Stockholm syndrome sort of response? The second lead has no chance because she’s too overwhelmed by the first lead’s theatrics and mistaking the suspension bridge effect for real love. Pretty problematic.
@@Akane1313 true
okay so put your head on my shoulder is not a k drama but its a 7.5 the worst thing he does is help her mom enforce the contract never forcefully tho
There is another coming-of-age one where the male lead shouts at the female lead (when they grow up) and I always found that problematic. Never really finished watching the series. Even forgot the title. She was also engaged to someone I think and he threw her ring in the nearest lake. He had to look for it to "make up" for what he did and it serves him right.
Being handsome and attractive are two different things to me so if the second lead is respectful, nice and funny he's attractive jshdks
they like treating grown up women like little children, they looove it
The boys that ended up liking me always bullied me, but I use to think it was sweet, because the media I grew up with romanticized that behavior. But now when I have a guy do that to me, who supposedly likes me, I just feel sad and disrespected, because if he likes me why does he want me to feel bad about myself?
Break up with him as soon as possible girl. BE SAFE. YOU DESERVE BETTER
@@sokinora9021 we're not dating but thanks for the advice☺️
@@fp4093 glad to hear. Be happy😊
Same but in a different way. I had a friend in the third grade who bullied a girl he liked. He would pull her hair and steal her chair, but I just thought it was normal because I thought that’s what boys do to the girls they like. I was being told this by actual adults and tv shows, they said that boys bully girls they like to get them to notice them. And I just accepted it. (Im very gullible) As a high school student I now know it is wrong and I should’ve told him to stop.
He probably wants you to feel insecure enough to settle with him. Classic negging tactic.
No one ever mentions the prevalence of physical abuse that female characters also dish out on male characters, usually when she’s annoyed or angry with him. She will most often kick him, but might also slap him, pull his hair or ears, etc. It is most often played for laughs. It is just as toxic. The only show where I’ve ever seen this addressed is in Strong Woman Do Bong Soon. It’s suspected that her mother has beaten up her father (though it’s not the case), and her mother’s friends say it’s not okay, but even there it’s still kinda played for laughs, it takes them a really long time to say anything, and honestly the whole dynamic of her mother and father is problematic. Look, if it’s not okay if a man does it to a woman, then it’s not okay if done in the reverse either. It doesn’t matter if women are on average less physically strong. It’s still abusive.
TRUEEEE
Stop bringing up "what about the men" as if people don't already care about men way more than women
@@DollfaceLizkah That’s simplistic. I am talking about true equality here. I don’t care more about men than women, but equally I don’t care more about women than men. People are people, and everyone should be treated well. All of the behaviours by men towards women addressed in the video are toxic and need to stop. Absolutely. But ALSO, the toxic behaviours displayed by women towards men need to stop as well. Saying this does not detract from the first issue, and I said it because there were already many other comments here about how toxic behaviour by men should be addressed, but at the time of original comment, no one had said anything about the reverse. That is all. I would rather not live in a world where it’s okay to treat someone badly because of their gender, regardless of what that gender is.
Ikr! did anyone watch Pent House where this wife slapped her husband?! I was- sooo angry when I see that.
Absolutely true, any form of abuse is never okay to play for laughs...
I hated that they ended up together in Boys Over Flowers. He did NOT deserve her. I wanted her to be with the Violinist. 🙄
In all of those versions I watched I was really confused every time the male lead would do something to the female lead the gang F4 wouldn’t say anything they just stood there silent then started walking away with the male lead. Sometimes they scuff and laugh too it’s weird. Well I’m glad this was brought to my attention I was in the majority of ones blinded by the “romance”
Exactly the Taiwan version was as bad as well the force kissing was just ugh even the Korean version was not it, I don't really understand how my parents saw it as cute it was disgusting to watch
@Khyarra Alexei Telmo
Ji hoo is a baby 🥺
I didn't want her with any of them. Those other three were just as bad.
When i was younger i watched playful kiss and around this time i had just started going to secondary school. I started crushing on a boy who was arrogant cold hearted and rude (basically showing similiar characteristics of the male lead in playful kiss) and i thought this was normal and that if i acted stupid and overly happy (like how most of the females in these kdramas are depicted) he would sooner or later start to like. BIGGEST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER MADE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I really hope that they change the ways that couples are supposed to act in these kdramas because this is just not a positive representation to young girls (and boys) as to how they should approach their own relationships in the future.
In Age of Youth (Hello, My Twenties) I really appreciated that instead of making it “cute” and “adorable” they clearly showed that what he was doing was abusive. Even before he started getting physical, the show made it clear that everything he did was wrong and she definitely didn’t like how he acted. I liked the fact that her friends were all so supportive of her, instead of saying the usual “boys will be boys” they made it clear to her that they did not like him and that she shouldn’t have to tolerate that kind of behaviour. I feel like the people around you can contribute to the abuse just as much as the partner can, especially when they try to say that the behaviour is normal. The show managed to show portray dating violence quite successfully in my opinion.
I like that drama too
Hello my twenties is a god-tier drama.
i freakin love that show so much because they didnt just add the boyfriend’s ab*siveness in just to forget about it in the next few episodes. in season two, you can actually see how the situation took a toll on the housemate and how it affected her everyday life. it didnt entertain me, but rather impressed me because they didnt treat ab*se so lightly as most kdramas do, whether it be for the sake of shocking the audience or developing a relationship.
@@cathenlea yess!! Season 2 was so so good as well (other than the sudden actress change but I can forgive that) and it even further highlighted how serious abuse in a relationship is, especially for the victim’s life. It took her a long time to recover and even then she didn’t recover fully. And I really appreciated that because it can take years to heal and for some they never completely do, and that’s reality.
"Boys will be boys" is one of the most b@lls%&t excuses to mistreat women ever created! Boys that treat women bad come from men who treat women badly, it's a cycle that never gets broken until someone goes to jail.
honestly I’m sick and tired of this cold boy with a sweet, innocent, helpless girl dynamic that literally all kdramas have going on.
I hate them so much like can we change this already (mostly I see these types in wattpad fanfic and based on the preview I don’t want to read it anymore) it’s outdated and bad
Atleast there are some kdramas right now like Crash Landing on you or Run on that lessens that type of cliches where the girl is clueless while the man manipulates her and she agrees with them (except for true beauty I guess )
You should watch Angel Last Mission: Love, it's the total opposite. The Female lead is cold and strict (especially to her workers) but she has shown some kindness, The male lead is sweet innocent funny but has shown some seriousness as well.
That's why I'm kinda bored of entertainment industry. Feels like everything finished up. Only thing that's left is chilling out the sole reason of entertainment now🥺
That's why I am team Seojun in TB
Put a different background music under these scenes and you'll get a whole new story.
goshh this is so true
was just gonna comment this!
lol
Jeez, you're right, you'll get a thriller/ or horror if you were to put in some chilling music.
F
I recently watched Strong Woman Bong Soon and was shocked by the behavior of the second male lead. There was one scene where he was yelling at her in a hospital for disobeying his orders to stay home and not wearing the panic button he gave her. Despite the fact that this is one of the 2 strongest women in Korea and the fact that she had just saved a friend, she hung her head low took all the abuse. The second male lead was a walking red flag that she still foolishly crushed over. That was so off putting.
I hated the 2nd ml in swdbs lol,, minhyuk was amazing tho.
@@bruh-ok5ksfr
I was watching clips of "Extraordinary You" and was alarmed by how many people supported Baek Kyung in the comment section. Like..why? The man was toxic af. Baek Kyung not only constantly put Dan-Oh down for her illness, saying he hates girls like her, but he put her down for liking someone else when he constantly rejected her. Dan-Oh liked Baek Kyung for ten years, then when she realized she never liked him at her own free will, he started chasing after her. I know people are going to come at me like "the writer made him do that," "he wasn't aware of himself yet," but even off stage, Baek Kyung treated Dan-Oh like absolute shit. He told her things like, "Why do you like someone like him? He's just an extra." "You think he can change things? Do you want to be the main character or something?" Kyung constantly told Dan-oh, "You'll come back to me anyway, you're my fiance" and told Haru that he (Haru) couldn't do anything about it cause at the end of the day, she's Kyung's fiance. Dan-oh liked Haru rightfully so. The words that Haru said to Kyung that stuck to me most were, "She may be just an extra to you, but to me, she's the main character." Haru risked himself being wiped away from existence in the comic world JUST so Dan-oh could be the main character. Haru watched Dan-oh from afar and was there to protect her when she needed it. She loved Haru and all Baek Kyung did was put Haru down. The thing is, even though Kyung was a piece of shit, Haru never said that he was. Never did I hear "Kyung is a douche" "Stay with me, not with Kyung" because Haru knew that Dan-oh loved him and even when he saw Dan-oh being lovey-dovey with Kyung on stage, he trusted her. Not only that, but Haru didn't mind being cheesy, saying cheesy things and doing cheesy things because as long as he was with Dan-oh and she was smiling, he was also happy. Haru did the things that Dan-oh wrote down on the list of things she wanted to do with him. Haru reassured Dan-oh that he wasn't going anywhere when she was scared of him leaving again, saying "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." That's what love is. Not some half-assed "I like you, so stay away from him" kind of bullshit.
I agree with everything you said ! I loved this show but couldn't understand why Baek Kyung was a favorite. For ONCE, the ML treated the FL with the respect she deserved and trust, yet so many still managed to prefer Kyung.
@@danna4760 Right? They said Haru was unrealistic, but the characters are literally in a comic world. Baek Kyung not feeling sorry toward how he treated Dan-oh for her sickness despite his own mother dying from an illness made me so confused. He felt horrible about how his father ignored his mother because of her sickness, yet he picked on Dan-oh and put her down for the exact same reason. He also always reminded Dan-oh that she was an extra while he himself was ALSO AN EXTRA.
thank you! I thought I'm the only one who thought about Kyung's toxic behaviour towards Dan-oh
THIS >>> I normally really like the second lead and since i saw that everyone loved kyung, i thought i would too but he’s literally just a bully the whole time? i remember thinking “when am i going to start liking him?” and i really never did because he just bullied them. he has no regard for how danoh feels and just cares about himself, i really think he didn’t actually have feelings for her but he saw as her as something that belonged to him. he only started trying to be with her when she no longer showed interest him. AND THE SCENE WHERE SOME GUY ACCIDENTALLY BUMPS INTO HIM SO KYUNG START BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM LIKE WHAT? Or when he BREAKS her heart monitor.
I swear! I really thought everyone had gone mad. When I pointed out his toxicity, they were like “oh but that’s how his character is written and he’s traumatised and can’t communicate his feelings”. Well it saves your energy to not be an asshole to a girl that you apparently like? And she might die with her heart condition?? Like what sort of an excuse is that??? If he was cold and reserved but quietly showed support- even in a stand-offish way, I’d honestly give him a pass. But he threw tantrums and pushed her around and terrorised people around him.
Bollywood has also entered the chat
Edit: It seems like the formula of toxic romance movies and shows are shared throughout asia (from my observations)
Here in the philiphines the showbiz is romanticizing mistresses and cheating i find this very toxic knowing this can ruin lives and the family but for other people this is enterraining for them but knowing cheating is illegal in the philliphines i find this troupe disgusting
@@cyberpunkfashionblyawesome it was made bc people want to bash the mistress but they accidentally encouraged mistresses to flirt with married men and vice-versa.
@@cyberpunkfashionblyawesome very true. I hated it so much. I hope pati yung iba pang hindi magandang iromantize gaya ng bullying, abusing, sexism, rape, kidnap etc ay matigil na in whole Asia
Ha look at Mexican dramas need to get to the max
*ah*
I think we do not ask for perfect characters because that is not realistic, there are people who are like that, even worse, I think the main problem is that they romanticize this, I mean, as a spectator, I do not want the story to be perfect (that the protagonists get along wonderfully all the time and that there are no problems), I just want the series to make it clear that the attitudes of the protagonists are not the right thing, that it is not a good way to show love, etc. and if you want your characters to improve, you must put a realistic way of how they changed and not only for the girl or boy.
I agree! sometimes characters do evolve and become a better person
yep and even if they become a good person at the end, i wish they would addressed their past behaviours and properly apologised for how they mistreating them
but so,e of these kdramas take it too far, which i think ppl need to acknowledge. bc sometimes there’s no coming back from some things, and any relationship that happens in the future would just be toxic even if the behaviour stopped
Yeah I'm okay if characters are flawed, but you can't just play it off like it's okay and even "romantic". Like, that is not how u want people to act when you are in a relationship
Ikr...like is it that hard to tell people that it's not a good attitude like come on..
In the last 10 years or so a lot of young women died in domestic violence and acid attacks in the hands of they violent boyfriend or husband, we the fan and viewers must protest and fight against terrible relationships Dynamics and safe the next generation of female from seeing these dramas as healthy. First step is recognising. Thank you very much for you educating us all and please continue with your good work. God bless you
Protests are for weaklings who can't fight
I still can’t believe how the main couple in Boys Over Flowers ended up together. Like that man physically & verbally abused her.
I stopped watching that drama after episode - 9 or so because it was too uncomfortable for me.
As years passed the versions got softer, but I would like to remind you that in the Japanese version (Hana Yori Dango) the scene where the lead sends guys to assault the female lead are vastly different. In BOF he tells them to do something severe but then throws shit at them when he finds out they were going to rape her. In the HYD the main leads TORTURES the guys so he can force them to rape her..... I swear if it wasn't for the nostalgia factor this drama should have been banned.
@@simonarattu7230 what fuuuuccckkkk
@@simonarattu7230 i even misspelled my comment from the shock, how did they air this crap?
yeah, why didn't she end up with the other guy who was much nicer to her and who she had real chemistry with? I felt so bad for him
Force pulling is such a common thing and it's horrible. My father used to do it when we had a fight and I decided to not engage in his childish bs anymore. He'd grab my arm hard and to this day I remember the feeling. I felt weak and helpless because no matter how much I struggeled, I couldn't break free. Nobody should feel like this, ever.
I get how you feel, my brother is almost 10 years older than me and he did that when I was a kid
Abusive tendencies + cutesy music = 💗 romance 💗
Fr
This. 🤧🤧
In reality= no
In Korea*
This is an important video. I love K dramas, but have often been uncomfortable with the controlling, condescending and aggressive behaviors of some of the male leads. Thank you for bringing this to the attention of viewers, especially young women and girls who can easily be drawn into romanticizing and even desiring this kind of behavior from their partners, viewing it as a sign of love and devotion.
honestly the amount of grabbing, forced kissing, slapping... it's disgusting and very unromantic
literally as you said, they portray it like 'even though they hurt me, I'll learn to love them eventually'
this is giving me 365 days trauma all over again oh god
And a sequel will be releasing soon! Lord please no-
The drama?
@@o.m9514 the movie where the ml kidnaps the fl and they “fall in love”
Tbh it’s this prevalent theme and attitude in kdramas is probably one of the reasons I don’t watch many. I tried to get into some but either the story wasn’t compelling or the romance was toxic...if anyone knows of any really good ones, I’d love to give them a chance.
@@emotionaldamage9894 no need to worry. They aren't ending up in the novel.
She miscarries, he starts to rape her several time and beat her, she cheats without thinking that she cheats, he goes to therapy, tries to improve and tries to become clean; she cheats again ( she basically cheats throughout the book), divorces that guy and marries and gets pregnant with the guy she cheated with.
I need to add that the guy she marries is a stalker but it's portrayed of him "protecting" her and him "being flirty".
Ah and he has the same name like a Mexican snack even though he is Spanish LOL
And all this shit happens in the last book. She is basically with the first guy throughout two fricking books
From what I noticed through this video is that it's not only found in Kdramas.. You find it in Manhwas, Manhuas, Mangas and popular western adult romance novels as well..The male lead being abusive but it's being romanticized because he is handsome and has past trauma..So media which targets women and girls in overall tends to romanticize abusive relationships...And this is creepy as I think of what mindset I grew up with, of what I thought about these scenes, thinking about the last guy I was kind of dating and how he had similar behavior...Oh shit
I just remembered the Fifty Shades franchise.
I AGREE
@@iaintmichaeljackson9587 geez that series is a nightmare 🤢 I remember I had two friends (mind you they were like ELEVEN/TWELVE ) that loved that franchise. I did end up watching the movie cuz I couldn’t bear to think about reading the actual book and gosh it was awful like he was so dominating and the way she was so submissive throughout the series was horrendous. I get that that’s the way their relationship was supposed to be bc all of the dom/sub stuff but ughh idk why so many ppl liked it let alone young teen girls. And knowing that they also liked the After novel too, and knowing now the level of toxicity that it is, is really concerning thinking about that so many young girls are romanticizing abuse in relationships and not even realizing how bad it is.
Literally almost all of mine! I def agree. :-(
OMG! I hope ur out of that relationship
This is why Her Private Life is one of my all time favorite kdramas. It had one of the most healthiest relationships I have ever seen portrayed in a kdrama. Instead of having either the male or female lead be above the other it was equal. They treated each other with respect and equally supported each other and depended on each rather than having the FL always being in distress and having the ML “save her”. There was no unnecessary angst and it wasn’t overly dramatic or hectic as some other kdramas.
So true👏
Also Healer. The relationship was just too good.
my standards in relationships skyrocketed after watching that show-
Thanks for the recommendation. ❤️
And run on ✋
Male lead: I love her
Also male lead: LET ME ABUSE HER!!!!
Y'all, if you don't like male leads for being abusive but you still praise the female leads who give off the same toxic traits and vibes, nothing really changed. Man or woman, toxicity and abuse have no gender.
@YohanMaxi i agree some “strong” female lead are sometimes abusive too, they would constantly kick or punch the ml or males as a “joke”. i never felt comfortable with using violence as a form of joke because i dont rlly think it’s that funny
Omg yes I hate when the "" badass """ female always slap the male lead for no reason damn
For real. Yes the recent drama have changed as we don’t see aggressive Male lead but we get aggressive female lead because they are Queen. Writer really just give what the public want
YES EXACTLY
It's so true, on Chesse in the trap bouth are so toxic, is so horrible to see
Those early kdrama tropes really fucked me up as I became a young 14 year old who hasn't had her first kiss yet and was dreaming of being pushed against a wall and forcibly kissed by my crush cos I saw it as more romantic and an indication of strong interest. Now as a 22 year old, I'm just badly cringing at my own mindset then. Media really can influence/unknowingly try to justify people's toxic thoughts/behaviors and we should all be careful of what we digest as our entertainment. This is also the reason I prefer the horror/thriller genre now, less toxic cringe more scares.
Hey, as long as there's full consent in all parties involved, being pushed against a wall and kissed does not sound bad at all. But this type of fiction really does normalize abuse which is quite sad and frightening. Most girls I know think rapey behaviour is romantic.
@@j.j.juggernaut9709 yeah I know, it's not the action itself that was d problem but more of under what circumstances? I didn't see female characters that knew what they wanted and went for it, instead it was always the "innocent" "submissive" .... characters that showed obvious signs of discomfort at first but later "loved" what happened and that became what I dreamed my 1st kiss to be like.
Luckily it was nothing like that 😊
Media really plays a huge role in promoting or condemning certain ideologies.
True..same happened with me✌
I'm just glad you woke up and that nothing bad happened. Sending love
Good for you
This is why I really really loved the ending of Love Alarm season 2. Sunho was a typical male lead (yelling at her, force kissing, only thought about himself.) Seeing the sweet patient second male lead be chosen was so rewarding. Hyeyeon always said, "I won't force it, I'll let it grow naturally." I was afraid the the drama would have a typical ending where the temperamental rich boy "becomes nice" and "gets the girl." When Jojo and Hyeyeon kiss it was because both of them wanted to. Such a sweet ending!! I'm so worried by the amount of girls that wanted Sunho "to win" cus he was handsome and never look at the bad side of his character.
I will forget first season cause it’s teen love, and second season is more adult, best ending !!
I still do think that the drama wouldn't get so much hate if they wouldnt rush or force hyeyeon and jojos relationship i mean i found it as though i was dumbfounded with a whole ass s1 of rooting for one couple and being changed in the other season. Like when i was watching the second season i wanted to root for hyeyeon because he definitely treated her better but i just wasnt feeling the chemistry but thats just my opinion.
yessss exactly, sunho was the traditional rich boy with trauma needing the love of a strong, loving girl like jojo.
@@clavitafernandes6346 I agree with everything you say, there was literally no lead in for the second couple. Till the end it felt to me like Jojo was still hiding and picked hyeyeon because he was safe and doesn't upset her equilibrim.
EXACTLY!! sun oh was selfish and didn’t treat jojo right, he should have moved on and didn’t think about why jojo might have ended the relationship.
King the Land had me spinning with stress then relief because every time these scenarios popped up and I was like "uh oh here we go" they chose. to. be. good. people.
And people said it is boring 😂. They have the greenest poor girl lead - rich male lead relationship ever 😅. And I like it
I really dislike how some of these "positive" comments are saying that they like the new female leads because they are "strong female leads who don’t tolerate abuse" instead of liking the male leads who just aren't abusive. Why is the conversation always directed towards the victims? There is no personality type that tolerates abuse, no weaker ones or stronger ones. Only victims.
P.S check my replies before debating me
Exactly this
can't they like both?
They like the strong no-bullshit personality, that's why. And those characters are interesting and fun to watch.
@@theycallmetrollbcispeakfac1581 @mi m.s. You can see so many comments here about these new female characters being feisty so as to "not let themselves be abused". But the depressing thing is even feisty girls get abused. In fact when a girl is feisty and talks back in abusive scenes, we often forget that it's still abusive. Imagine a scene like the one in Uncontrollably Fond where the female character is abandoned on a road. The male character drives away and leaves her there lying on the road as punishment for her being "troublesome". A "weak" character would lie down and cry. A "feisty" character would scream at the car and scold him and ask him to come back (maybe he comes back and apologizes too, or maybe he just drives off). But no matter the consequence, isn't that still abuse? When the male character hits the female character and she yells and slaps back at him, he may apologize but the bruise on her face remains, and her slapping him was only retaliatory. They're not even because they both hit each other, the abusive one is still him because he hit her first. The fact that he hit her means that he is abusive, it's simple. In conclusion, there is no reason to talk about personality when you talk about abuse except to blame the victim for not being strong enough to resist the abuse.
@@theycallmetrollbcispeakfac1581 Kdramas showing "strong no-bullshit female leads" as the antidote to abuse in kdrama is exactly the same as those people who promote giving young girls guns as the antidote to being r*ped. It's a half-assed solution that forces victims to do more things and act a certain way (feisty, bring a gun everywhere) instead of simply telling abusers/rapists not to abuse/rape people, and it doesn't make sense. My main issue is that people in these comments are saying that this approach makes sense when it comes to abuse. For kdramas, the best way to not show abusive relationships is simply to create a relationship where both characters are equal and serve each other, not a relationship where one character (who is definitely abusive) is constantly crossing lines, while the other is either fully accepting of the other's behaviour ("weak personality"), or speaks up about the negative effects of the other's behaviour but lets it slide completely at the end ("strong personality").
That's why i loved Run On. Male Masculinity and fragile women was not a thing in that. Men cried because they felt like it and women took strong steps for themselves.
Run on is such a game changer!! Too bad that it only came out this year... I hoped that if this drama came out earlier there would be more drama that talks about healthy relationships...
@@swagwanhyung8413 :( better late than never. I hope more people find out about this drama. I could write a whole essay why I loved that drama and how more dramas should show healthy relationships like this.
I love the fact that the actress that played the FL also played a strong, smart female character in Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung. It's like she carefully read the scripts and chose her characters very well
YES I LOVE IT
it migt e better than other dramas but still, men fight over one girl, like they were rivals, its was some kind of game and girl is treated as reward and thats terrible -_-
Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is literally the only Kdrama I know where the girl actually chooses the sweet and caring guy instead of the man who was cold and distant towards her. That was so satisfying lol. Please feel free to recommend me some dramas where the girl DOESN'T end up with a jackass. Love triangles usually pisses me off but if it's something similar to SWDBS, I'm all good :)
But...Bong Soon's parent's relationship is basically domestic violence. Her mother gets jealous and beats the father so badly that he gets a black eye and cries. And at the end Bong Soon leaves Min Hyuk alone with twin infant super powered daughters who make easy work out of giving gangsters black eyes (the gangsters getting beat up is funny though). Yes, he is their father and should definitely be taking care of them but taking care of them alone is going to put him in a hospital. Bong Soon's parents could've come and help out since they had experience with 1 super powered baby.
omg practically all kdramas I watched are about good men! Pride and Prejudice... Toy Crane (forgot the name of the drama) Crazy love lawyer and Mi So.... Wonderful Mama radio host daughter and her doctor tenant.... Love and Secret single mom and fashion boss... and so on.... So many high school dramas, like Growing Season med student boyfriend, or that drama that has several short skits, or Love Playlist where the hot cheerleader picked a quiet guy, etc etc etc etc On Our Wedding Day ... .... soooo many super great male role models!
Also the girl in extraordinary you chooses nice guy
@@Rinchan181 yeah but the comment was talking about Bong Soon and not her parents so there was no need to mention them.
you should watch clean with passion for now, in that kdrama the 2nd lead guy is a stalker and the female lead keeps talking coldly to her till the end.
I remember I was watching Cheese in the Trap and I never finished it but my friend and I didn't miss how manipulative the male lead is.
Also how the female lead, despite all her struggles and frustrations, never win in an argument against him because somehow, there's always something bigger that presents itself or he somehow manages to evade the topic or switch the focus to her problems.
It is nice that he helped take care of some of her problems so she doesn't have to struggle as much but we didn't like that whenever he is confronted with something that is potentially his fault, he always manages to avoid it. It's super unfair for the female lead and it's just sad that even in her relationship, which should be an escape from the world that is constantly bashing her down, she still has little to no control.
Edit: I also HATE when they try to make it seem like the guy being cold and heartless, like how the video shows the guy leaving the girl on the road after dangerously driving, is a romantic thing. It makes it seem like the emotional female leads are the ones in the wrong or they're overreacting.
When I first watched Love Alarm I was like “how is that even romantic?, that’s just creepyyyy” fr, isn’t it creepy that Sun Ho just followed Jojo everywhere when they were not even friends?... I still don’t understand how everyone wants Jojo to get back with Sun Ho, imo Sun Ho’s friend is waaay less toxic.
for real! love alarm is popular in my country and a lot of my friends watched it. but i couldn't get past the 2nd episode. my gut keeps associating sunoh with red flags. i'll probably won't watch it again. it's sad because song kang seems like a nice actor but i had second thoughts with sweet home because of his role in love alarm.
not only that, but also lee joongi's role in shr. i only liked jisoo as iu's partner lol
Thank you! I was looking for this comment! When Sun Ho basically forced himself onto jojo in the alleyway (when she had a boyfriend a the time) it was so aggressive, immature, and creepy to me. I just don't see why people want her to end up with him.
Same, I honestly was so confused going to the internet and finding out everyone preferred Sun Oh over Hyeyeong, I thought it would be the opposite since everybody is already aware about abuse romanticization. But oh well, Sun Oh is hot so they forgot lmao
@@daphnedaphn3 yeah no one cares abt consent as long as the man has a handsome face. Just make the main lead ugly then they’d understand
sunoh was toxic, i don't understand why people wanted him to end up with her. the second lead was so much better, he didn't force anything on to her, and he actually respected her!! wake the fuc up people 😭
and the second lead is always just left to wonder what he did wrong
@Eman Pretty sure that if you love someone you should let them be happy especially when you know the person that they love is a good person (what I learned through kdramas lol). You shouldn’t let your selfishness get in the way of someone who you truly love.
@EmanEven if it was not a love triangle, there are only two leads,no matter how much someone loves a person, if the other person doesn't love back, doesn't mean they are bad because they have right to refuse or accept. I just don't like how the female lead is always the one to be at fault because she doesn't end up with the preferred male character.
@Eman true. 2nd female leads are always the villian, most of the time they are sidelined and their only goal is steal the main lead, I hope they break the stereotype.
What second leads do wrong is they try to be Mr. Steal your girl. Why do they wait until the female lead starts dating the male lead before they notice her? They only notice the female that is dating the male lead.
Another thing that I absolutely hated was on She was Pretty. Seo Joon humiliated Kim Hye Jin, screamed with her, embarrassed her, while the Reporter Kim treated her nicely since the beginning.
Truuee
Yeah and somehow the female lead still chose that jerk in the end. 🤧
ummm reporter kim literally called her a dog. Also, he played so many pranks on her that when he confessed she legit didn't believe him because she thought it was another trick.
@@emdpanda I agree with you at this point, but Seo Joon treated her literally like a scumbag. I think, everyone in the Most Magazine treated her like, makimg fun of her looks.
@@geovannaferreirat I agree that he treated her horribly, but he had a bad attitude in general (ie the meetings) though he did treat her worse because of her name (which is not good). However, with the rest of the team, I would say only 2-3 people out of the group ever commented on her appearance (that I can remember). One being the weird rich lady and another being the gold digger (sorry I don't know their names).
Most of kdramas show male lead full of attitude, pride initially, and then later are potrayed as the most gentle and affectionate men ever...
Therefore everyone, you may like to consider "Run On" in your playlist. They try to improve a realistic and healthier relationship ʕ•ε•ʔ
They do be wholesome af
OMFG I am OBSESSED with "Run On."
Another healthy relationship dramas that I recommend is God’s Quiz ( the main couple communicates and supports each other but their relationship is not the main story) and most importantly, Melo is my Nature. They have strong female leads and if they see any abuse or toxic behaviour, they communicate and tell their partners.
Run On is literally a breath of fresh air. No toxic and aggressive male or female lead. I love that drama so much.
Didn’t the guy kiss the girl without consent while he was drunk, right at the start? I think Because this is my first life is a very underrated drama, and has good male leads.
The thing is, if you read about how much domestic violence and abusive behavior happens over in Korea. Most of what you see on screen is just light stuff compared to what happened in real life. Do your research it and see. This is a culture who believes in hierarchy. Basically they're saying the higher up you are the more respect you should get and if you are on the lower-tier the less respect you receive. Women all over are always considered on the lower tear (weaker sex) in most society. You may not want this to be but it's just true. Why else would women be paid less than men even in America still.
Yep I married a Korean man and he bullied me and abused me. I was in a domestic violence shelter twice cause of him.
@@ephie5048 My heart goes out to you. I feel sadness to hear yet another woman is being mistreated. But you are not alone there are many women that have gone through the same thing as yourself. If you can't leave because of your children. I will pray for you. If you can leave go as soon as possible because you can do bad all by yourself. You deserve to be treated like the queen that you are. What amazes me is no matter how accomplished, educated, or beautiful a woman may be, there will always be a man that will use his strength to try and control her. Some men do not understand that we are meant to loved not be used to show other what men they are. A men that are like this are insecure and unsure of themselves. They feel they are not in control of their own lives. So these so call men will try and control everything else. Which can become dangerous for you and your children. Plus You don't want a husband bad behavior towards you to become an example for your son how a man treat a woman his loves or your daughter looking you a think acceptable behavior on how a woman is supposed to be treated by man who supposed to love her. But if you can't leave be careful if can try teach your children this is not a way to show love.
@@ephie5048 I'm so sorry to hear what had happened to you! Dating violence and domestic violence is a lot more prevalent than we thought. I hope you and your children could leave him, if not, I hope that there is some associations in Korea that could get involved and help.
The thing is men also get abused by women but we don't tell anyone bc then the society will say we are weak you should not cry i know some guy's who were abused by their partner when they told others about this they laughed at them women get away easily while the men has to suffer
@@NoorNabiLakho2020 I agree. Men can be sexual harassment victims too
Consent is SEXY. Kdramas should Remember this.
I also felt uncomfortable in most Kdramas for they way they protrayed relationships and I was scared this was normal in Korea. But nowadays, Kdramas are much better
not just sexy, but essential.
I like when the female leads actually stand up for themselves in school, at work and when in a relationship
You know i hate it when people write fanfics or make kdramas about the female or male lead being ugly from the start and the female or male lead not liking him/her but it all turns upside down when someone changes them into attractive and there you go,you're head over heals😙
Edit - Why y'all saying true beauty lmao💀 cuz like suho fell in love with jugyeong when she was pretty but still accepted and loved her as much after finding out her real face,that kinda counts but kinda also doesn't😃
Edt 2.0 - I AM TEAM SEOJUN.
Edit 3.0 - LET ME JUST REMIND Y'ALL THAT EVEN IF SEOJUN DIED FOR THE FEMALE LEAD,SHE WOULD ONLY FEEL SAD AND NOT A BIT REGRET OF REJECTING HIM CUZ HE IS THE SECOND MALE LEAD AND THAT IS WRITER'S LOGIC,NO FEMALE LEAD FOR SECOND LEAD.
reminds me of true beauty lol
@@yuanProduction suho liked jugyeong even after seeing her "ugly" face,it isnt relatable tho
Tbh moon ga young was pretty even after the so called ugly look.
I just find it weird that she got bullied so bad and once she started doing makeup and changed school, it’s like her whole life just got better * 100000. All problems are solved. It’s like all your happiness is built based on that.
@@yuanProduction that was what i'm trying to say,this is like its phenomenol,when you're ugly,even your hero/heroine does'nt like you but once you transform into some attractive chic,guys are after you and then theres the fight,oH mOvE sHe'S miNE.
And in radio romance she was portrayed as this ugly girl while her hair was curly but when she had a makeover like straightening her hair, doing makeup and all she suddenly started to became more beautiful like WTH. I personally think she suited curls more. And still to this date I don't understand the logic behind it.
My aunt rented her basement to this couple. The lady would always long sleeves even in hot summer days. My aunt and I asked her if doesn't feel hot. She said that her husband doesn't like her showing arms.
My immediate response to reading this, is what is she covering up. I would suspect bruises ?
@@blacksorrento4719 You might be right. I never thought about that.
@@manga626 please check on her and see if she needs help and be discrete about it. Don’t let the husband find out if you intend to help the woman. And the woman could easily be scared if she is a victim of physical violence so take a soft approach than a direct one.
@@XieraDarkQueen yeah she is right u should take immediately take action
I thought I was the only one who find this abusive, I skip some parts that are like that. That's why I prefer less romantic drama.
Me too!! I stopped watching romantic drama, because my mental can't even take it
@@bringceremony same broo
Tbh I've seen a lot of romantic kdramas and most of the newer ones don't have this kind of behaviour, so you can give it a try again :)
@@alexcyhna4570 yeah I watched some of them but I can't get used to romantic kdrama unless if the female lead is the 'dominant' one
@@Lee-ns3if i get what you mean, although I rlly like dramas where they are on the same level
For example: Strong Woman DBS, Weightlifting Fairy KBJ, pretty much all of Park Minyoung dramas: What's Wrong with Secretary Kim, Her private life (comedies) and When the weather is fine (this one's a bit... indie i guess but it portraits healthy relationship as well), Run On, Hotel De Luna, Search WWW, Graceful Family (this one has romance at the side plot line but it's still hella good)
In My ID is Gangnam Beauty - the main character is timid but the guy is nice as well and it's pretty cute
Its just to name a few, give them a try if you want :)
Darn that if a boy drives violently and abandoned me on the middle of nowhere, I will never talked to that guy forever evn if he has cancer
haha great minds think the same
I just want to point out to anyone who didn't watch Hello My Twenties, one of the couples in the video that exemplifies controlling behaviors isn't romanticized in the show. In fact, in ends veeery bad
Exactly
was waiting for someone to comment this. hello my twenties has its faults but it's definitely one of my favorite shows when it comes to the depiction of relationships, especially those between women
Yeah hello my twenties definitely portrays the abusive relationship as abusive
I wanted to say this too, by the end of the show it's very clear that all that bf's bad behaviors were red flags that set the stage for his eventual violent crime. I thought they did that well.
The last kdrama that I had watch was Itaewon class and one of the scenes in there really pissed me off, so the scene was the main character girl with short hair stoped a girl from kissing the guy she liked by telling her it’s sexual-harassment if he doesn’t consent then on the same day she went to kiss him while he was passed out drunk 🤦🏽♀️ btw I’m really glad someone decided to talk about this issue with kdramas tending to have a lot of abuse in them
EXACTLY
I was surprised too, but then I remembered her character is a sociopath who doesn't care about other people. Her actions are presented as those of someone who really can't see how terrible her actions are. From that perspective, I thought it worked.
Whitney r but that scene wasn’t meant to feel like she was in the wrong it was made to feel innocent or adorable that she wanted her first kiss to be with him because if the show wanted us to feel that she was in the wrong it would’ve made the environment different but it didn’t. the scene where she kissed him without his permission was a lively scene with lively music in the background I also didn’t like how they made her personality trait a psychopath because psychopath is not a personality trait it’s a disorder
@@vanessatrejo5436 hm. I guess I could see that too. I thought she was clearly still in the "bad person" part of her character arc, but you're right that the music and lighting was arranged to make it seem romantic.
I thought that was a dream though
This reminds me of True Beauty, a high teen drama from 2021, where one of the subplots is the younger brother who was like 15 had a crush on this girl. She kept rejecting him very clearly and succinctly, but he never gave up and kept trying to get with her. This was super troubling to me, even though they portrayed it as something cute because he was a comedic character. The way they keep these tropes in kdramas and they depict such young characters using them will just continue the cycle smh
I've never watched True Beauty but i read the webtoon. Is it Jugyeong's younger brother? Her brother never even appeared that much in the original story, and that means that in the making of the series they've changed the story by adding things that never even happened just for the sake of cliches.
It's honestly so disturbing to know that people still hold onto these abusive behaviors in 2021 😬
@@linacore-u1o try weight lifting fairy Kim bok joo, that’s my favorite
While I do think he should have listened to her and given her her space, that’s definitely not the same as these other k-dramas. Juyeong never forced himself onto her or sexually harassed her or anything, he was just being annoyingly persistent. He does end up just wanting to at least be friends, but I don’t think this is quite the same page since it’s not abusive or toxic.
@@damarisc5688 it’s still harassment though. You trying to excuse his behavior is part of the problem, it shouldn’t need to get to the point of someone being sexually harassed or raped, if someone says no that means no. And when you condone the kids behavior as acceptable in the drama it can turn into sexual harassment or rape in the future bc no one shut it down at that stage. People don’t become rapists overnight, it’s bc they were allowed to do certain things and they continued to push the boundaries that they get that far.
I hope you don’t think I’m comí for you neck or anything personal, but this is a very serious issue and your train of thought is how a lot of potential future abusers can be made
I have read about a similar situation (someone's true story)-
Let's call this person K.
K was taking care of a boy who had a crush on a girl but the girl rejected him. And when K asked him what to do when a girl rejects him, he said *to keep trying* . Of course, K was shocked and told him *not to keep going* because if the girl doesn't like him, she doesn't like him. Period.
From this story, it's clear how toxic masculinity and superiority of men for so long changes mindsets of males. They gotta be educated on this.
(Also fyi, they weren't like 8 year olds rather in an age where they could understand thing like this. So there was a least possibility for the girl to have a crush on him if anyone's wondering)
this video is extremely well made. props to you, creator!
in boys over flowers, the male lead let the whole school assault and try to LITERALLY KILL the female lead. yet it was romanticized and portrayed as an act of the male lead liking the female lead. it is still considered as one of the best dramas of all time, like damn bro??? they were committing crimes.
another thing is when the male leads are controlling and manipulating, which is "jealousy" and "being sweetly overprotective". the male lead does not own the female lead, freedom should be a must in all relationships.
also, in its okay not to be okay, the roles are typically reversed (i haven't completed the show yet) but during the first 6 episodes, the femal lead was really possessive and was touching the man without his consent. im trying to think of a drama where there are none of these problems. in weightlifting fairy kbj, i thought "wow this must be a great drama" until i remember the ml force kissed the fl at HER WORK.
edit:maybe cloy!?!? dunno i cant think of anything
See run on ❤