Buy the grace of God i am not an addict but I grew up with complex trauma. I'm 50 yrs old and have had anxiety and depression all my life. I've read a lot and watched many videos on this subject in the last year. Nothing and nobody made me feel understood until God sent me to your channel. I appreciate so much how simply and accurately you describe something so layered and complex. I've never known what was wrong with me or how to begin to heal until you explained how it happens and the changes that it causes in the brain. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I don't think of myself as a freak anymore. I look forward to more of your videos.
I hear you and pray for your healing. When I first of the Life Recovery Bible it blew my mind that other went thru much of the same pain & trials as a youngster. Blessings to you
Same brother 👍I thought there was something wrong with me as well. I'm feeling better only after a few days of listening to these videos. It's a godsend
This man is truly amazing! He is beyond knowledgeable w/powerful perception, intellect, and insight. He’s a beautiful gift from God who has changed my life.
Love this series so much.❤ I finally feel like I have the tools to heal properly. I’ve been thrashing about because I can’t afford therapy…reading books, etc…trying my best to figure it out. This has been such a blessing as it’s covered a lot of my needs and concerns. I’m a believer that hasn’t received full healing in the church. These teachings are the missing link!❤
When things get really bad I turn to God and praise Him because He is there at my worst and still loves me. God is my rock..and His love has pulled me through many times
Thank you for helping me learn to identify my triggers, my patterns of reacting and my history of why's then offering different methods for returning to my rational thinking brain. My learned pattern of perfectionism has resulted in me not trying because of the unrealistic expectations I place on myself or giving up before mastering a new pattern. It has taken years for me to learn to pause and ask myself for a more objective perception of what is going rather than reacting and later regretting what I said or did. Your encouragement in continuing to use new tools and how doing so isn't going to be comfortable but to keep at it is invaluable 👍
I just want to thankyou from the bottom of my heart your videos are genuinely saving my life right now,I’ve never been religious but the way you talk about the bible is helping me to understand so just thankyou Tim xxx
Thanks so much... you have taught me in one video things I've had to gather from a lot of different resources over 30 years! The Psalms section is also enlightening :)
SELF-CONTROL awareness. HUSH:SLOW DOWN. BREATHE DEEP & SLOW. FLIP SWITCH REASON PEACEABLE View . NEW CHOICE I M HEALING. I M FEELING OK. FEELING in SELF-CONTROL. I M Deserving & WORTHY of kindness & LOVE. REPEAT TIL I FEEL BETTER. PRACTICE.. IT WORKS!
Do you think it might be due to alexythemia, or maybe potentially a biased denial (due to narratives that anger is "bad" "wrong")? Anger is an emotion that is part of the human experience. Maybe your definition is different, or your word....there are many, many subcategories that are indeed linked to anger. Most people on the spectrum have been bullied at some time....this can cause feelings of hurt, feeling disrespected, deleting violated etc...those are all linked to anger.
I love your videos. I've been binge watching them. Though I don't struggle with alcohol/substances , I feel I must have Complex Trauma. Depression and Anxiety have been debilitating for me since 2011, but began when I was 8/9 years old (I'm 37 now). I've gone through a lot of therapy, medications, and even electroshock treatments. I've been unable to get out of this vicious cycle or even find a desire to live. I'm struggling to find motivation and get stuck in obsessive compulsive thoughts and behaviors (which you've discussed). I have a love-hate relationship with it because it feels great in the moment and when I see the end result, but it's SO overwhelming and exhausting. It drives me crazy, but I don't know how to escape it. In any case, I wish I had therapy with you. I think you could help me work through the things I get so hung up on. I'm hearing what you're saying, but I need to talk through it because my mind fights and challenges every good change I try to make. I consider myself Humanist and am not religious, but your videos don't drive me crazy like other spiritual channels would. I feel you speak objectively and don't have an agenda to push your point of view, but rather simply to help. Thanks so much for your videos. I appreciate them. You're amazing!
J-MeGirl Thank you. We are currently developing an online treatment program. If you would be interested in being a guinea pig, send us your email and we will communicate with you that way
I would be interested. I am in therapy and have a great church family. Just wish there was a weekend retreat that could do some surgery. It is long and tedious. My complex trauma and thoughts and behaviors. etc.
@@TimFletcher Thank you so much for your reply. I'm actually in Utah, USA. :( Wish I was closer. I'm also Humanist and not involved in a church, but I haven't minded the religious aspect of your talks at all. I swear I just need a retreat to Canada. Haha
Validate your own feelings...what a concept. People in church think you should be walking around bursting with joy and optimism all the damn time!! Take the damn mask off for God sake!! Be freaking REAL!!!
If you come to the mosque, you may find it comforting that the defining characteristic of Islam is modesty. People are down to earth, calm, humble, respectful, and they don’t talk to much. Most of what they say is compassionate and attributing all things to God. They greet you with “Assalamu alaikum” (peace be upon you). If you ask how they are doing, they start by saying “Alhamdullilah” (thank God). Something good merits a “mashallah” (God has willed it), or “subhanallah” (like “wow” but means “glory be to God”)… Muslims don’t push their thoughts or opinions on others because they understand that God guides whoever He wills. You could talk with them for years and they would only answer your questions or help you find answers. I grew up Christian and came to accept the final revelation of God (the Quran) only after extensive research. I know at first, it seems weird, but the more I researched, the more I saw the miracles of the Quran until I couldn’t deny it anymore. I was afraid to go to a mosque but I can tell you that there is no reason to be afraid. No one will rush up to greet you or talk your ear off. They are quiet and respectful, and only respond if you ask them something.
Anger when being verifiably attacked imho is a protective mechanism. Try to escape if possible. I immediately shut down and look at the floor to stop expressing anger.
Thank you. Yes. I think the trick is to process that anger in a separate and safe space so that we can eventually release it and not let it fester. Sometimes anger is an indication that we need to take an action, but we can’t think clearly about what we should do when we’re fuming mad. Lol.
Yes, we cannot control others. Imho, when faced with difficult or toxic people, our job is just to remember that it’s their issues and we shouldn’t internalize or take it personally. This is easier said than done!!! It is very difficult, I know from experience. Sometimes I react before I even have a chance to think.
Come to the mosque. Muslims don’t do that. And you will learn a lot by reading the next chapter of God’s revelations (the Quran). I used to be Christian before I did extensive research and accepted the Quran as the final revelation. Muslims still believe in the Torah and the Gospel so it’s not like I forgot everything I learned from my Christian upbringing. But the Bible has been changed so much over the years by people. The Quran has never changed. Millions of people memorize every word of the Quran every year (since it was revealed) so that no one can ever change even one word without millions of people telling then they’re wrong. Thank God, this is one of the many miracles of the Quran. God sent the Quran as clear proof and guidance. It is so miraculous that it proves beyond doubt the existence of God. He did not leave us to wander aimlessly guessing. He sent clear proof and guidance.
Look up shadow work prompts so you can write out certain situations, how they made you feel and how you’ve improved already or can improve in the future.
1. Snoring: Go sleep in another bedroom. 2. Bed-wetting: Don't know. 3. Toothpaste: Get your own toothpaste. After all, you have your own toothbrush, don't you?
When I am triggered by disrespect or what not, I either shut down completely and freeze. I have no angry or any emotion. Other times I go to 0 to 100 in a nano second. I don’t know how I will respond sometimes because I have two extreme responses. Anyone else have this?
Some verses that help me: “It may be that you hate something and it is good for you and it may be that you love something and it is bad for you” (Quran 2:216) “…Allah intends ease for you, not hardship…” (Quran 2:185) “Allah does not intend to make difficulty for you…” (Quran 5:6) Also, when we have difficulty, God sends us something to ease it. Maybe it is a friend or a gift or a friendly smile. “So, surely with hardship comes ease. Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease. So once you have fulfilled ˹your duty˺, strive ˹in devotion˺, turning to your Lord ˹alone˺ with hope.” (Quran 94:5-8) Also, the evil of this world does not come from God. God clarifies this in saying: “Whatever good you may receive is certainly from God and whatever you suffer is from yourselves (humans)….” (Quran 4:79)
Yeah god is the real og. All that is good and all that is evil comes from him. Cannot even fathom the depths of horror and certainly not any heights of loveliness... which is god. He is both the absolute worst and the absolute best of everything.
Buy the grace of God i am not an addict but I grew up with complex trauma. I'm 50 yrs old and have had anxiety and depression all my life. I've read a lot and watched many videos on this subject in the last year. Nothing and nobody made me feel understood until God sent me to your channel. I appreciate so much how simply and accurately you describe something so layered and complex. I've never known what was wrong with me or how to begin to heal until you explained how it happens and the changes that it causes in the brain. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I don't think of myself as a freak anymore. I look forward to more of your videos.
l know...right?!? What a blessing!!!
I hear you and pray for your healing. When I first of the Life Recovery Bible it blew my mind that other went thru much of the same pain & trials as a youngster. Blessings to you
Same brother 👍I thought there was something wrong with me as well. I'm feeling better only after a few days of listening to these videos. It's a godsend
Ditto. Tim's a godsend literally
My exact thoughts
You are a gift from God!
Exactly what I was thinking
This man is truly amazing! He is beyond knowledgeable w/powerful perception, intellect, and insight. He’s a beautiful gift from God who has changed my life.
Love this series so much.❤ I finally feel like I have the tools to heal properly.
I’ve been thrashing about because I can’t afford therapy…reading books, etc…trying my best to figure it out.
This has been such a blessing as it’s covered a lot of my needs and concerns. I’m a believer that hasn’t received full healing in the church. These teachings are the missing link!❤
High quality practical teachings and deep understanding of complex trauma. Thank you so much!!!!
When things get really bad I turn to God and praise Him because He is there at my worst and still loves me. God is my rock..and His love has pulled me through many times
EXACTLY wouldn’t think to see a comment like this here. Thank you!!
Thank you for helping me learn to identify my triggers, my patterns of reacting and my history of why's then offering different methods for returning to my rational thinking brain. My learned pattern of perfectionism has resulted in me not trying because of the unrealistic expectations I place on myself or giving up before mastering a new pattern. It has taken years for me to learn to pause and ask myself for a more objective perception of what is going rather than reacting and later regretting what I said or did. Your encouragement in continuing to use new tools and how doing so isn't going to be comfortable but to keep at it is invaluable 👍
He shows you what "mindfullness" really means.
I just want to thankyou from the bottom of my heart your videos are genuinely saving my life right now,I’ve never been religious but the way you talk about the bible is helping me to understand so just thankyou Tim xxx
The thing that you least feel like doing is the thing you most need to do!
What do I do when I get addicted to these videos?
Lots to learn! 😅👍
-absolutely BRILLIANT!! 🙌
❤❤❤Jesus we thank you for this 🙏 😢man of God wow you are truly anointed for this call.
Thank you ❤ so much❤ Blessings from Germany
Gratitude is CONTENTMENT. FEELING OK. RESPONDING Proper.
Thank you!!! So what I needed right now!
Thanks so much... you have taught me in one video things I've had to gather from a lot of different resources over 30 years! The Psalms section is also enlightening :)
Love this man🤣 what he just described is d.b.t those classes have been a true gift from God
This is so true every word i feel this inside emotionally smashed lost and alone after life long effects of child abuse
SELF-CONTROL awareness. HUSH:SLOW DOWN. BREATHE DEEP & SLOW. FLIP SWITCH REASON PEACEABLE View . NEW CHOICE I M HEALING. I M FEELING OK. FEELING in SELF-CONTROL. I M Deserving & WORTHY of kindness & LOVE. REPEAT TIL I FEEL BETTER. PRACTICE.. IT WORKS!
Canadians are so nice and never fight. You guys are messed up too ? 😅 your so funny too. I miss John Candy 😢
Anger is the one emotion I don’t really have and never had growing up or now in my late 30s. I always put it down to my Aspergers.
Do you think it might be due to alexythemia, or maybe potentially a biased denial (due to narratives that anger is "bad" "wrong")?
Anger is an emotion that is part of the human experience. Maybe your definition is different, or your word....there are many, many subcategories that are indeed linked to anger.
Most people on the spectrum have been bullied at some time....this can cause feelings of hurt, feeling disrespected, deleting violated etc...those are all linked to anger.
Reasonable view is mental health. Balanced.
I love your videos. I've been binge watching them. Though I don't struggle with alcohol/substances , I feel I must have Complex Trauma. Depression and Anxiety have been debilitating for me since 2011, but began when I was 8/9 years old (I'm 37 now).
I've gone through a lot of therapy, medications, and even electroshock treatments. I've been unable to get out of this vicious cycle or even find a desire to live. I'm struggling to find motivation and get stuck in obsessive compulsive thoughts and behaviors (which you've discussed). I have a love-hate relationship with it because it feels great in the moment and when I see the end result, but it's SO overwhelming and exhausting. It drives me crazy, but I don't know how to escape it.
In any case, I wish I had therapy with you. I think you could help me work through the things I get so hung up on. I'm hearing what you're saying, but I need to talk through it because my mind fights and challenges every good change I try to make.
I consider myself Humanist and am not religious, but your videos don't drive me crazy like other spiritual channels would. I feel you speak objectively and don't have an agenda to push your point of view, but rather simply to help.
Thanks so much for your videos. I appreciate them. You're amazing!
J-MeGirl Thank you. We are currently developing an online treatment program. If you would be interested in being a guinea pig, send us your email and we will communicate with you that way
I would be interested. I am in therapy and have a great church family. Just wish there was a weekend retreat that could do some surgery. It is long and tedious. My complex trauma and thoughts and behaviors. etc.
J-MeGirl Where do you live?
If you think your church would be interested in a weekend seminar, I would be willing to consider coming
@@TimFletcher Thank you so much for your reply. I'm actually in Utah, USA. :( Wish I was closer. I'm also Humanist and not involved in a church, but I haven't minded the religious aspect of your talks at all. I swear I just need a retreat to Canada. Haha
@@TimFletcher okay, I'll work on sending you an email after I return from my therapy appointment.
Sorry, I still haven't written the email.
Powerful
Thank you
Validate your own feelings...what a concept. People in church think you should be walking around bursting with joy and optimism all the damn time!! Take the damn mask off for God sake!! Be freaking REAL!!!
so true
There are for real churches out there, understanding people are all sinners and broken in some way really help cut thru the fake face bull shit.
If you come to the mosque, you may find it comforting that the defining characteristic of Islam is modesty. People are down to earth, calm, humble, respectful, and they don’t talk to much. Most of what they say is compassionate and attributing all things to God. They greet you with “Assalamu alaikum” (peace be upon you). If you ask how they are doing, they start by saying “Alhamdullilah” (thank God). Something good merits a “mashallah” (God has willed it), or “subhanallah” (like “wow” but means “glory be to God”)… Muslims don’t push their thoughts or opinions on others because they understand that God guides whoever He wills. You could talk with them for years and they would only answer your questions or help you find answers. I grew up Christian and came to accept the final revelation of God (the Quran) only after extensive research. I know at first, it seems weird, but the more I researched, the more I saw the miracles of the Quran until I couldn’t deny it anymore. I was afraid to go to a mosque but I can tell you that there is no reason to be afraid. No one will rush up to greet you or talk your ear off. They are quiet and respectful, and only respond if you ask them something.
Thank you for everything
Anger when being verifiably attacked imho is a protective mechanism. Try to escape if possible. I immediately shut down and look at the floor to stop expressing anger.
Thank you. Yes. I think the trick is to process that anger in a separate and safe space so that we can eventually release it and not let it fester. Sometimes anger is an indication that we need to take an action, but we can’t think clearly about what we should do when we’re fuming mad. Lol.
Hello darkness my old friend. Does that sound familiar? I understand the Paul Simon song at last. Thank you Brother Tim.
Numbness is better than the pain of the memory…for me
Thank u
Managing my emotions fine, being responsible of course , BUT sometimes things are not out fault, they are OTHERS Issues!
Yes, we cannot control others. Imho, when faced with difficult or toxic people, our job is just to remember that it’s their issues and we shouldn’t internalize or take it personally. This is easier said than done!!! It is very difficult, I know from experience. Sometimes I react before I even have a chance to think.
Great...Thank you!!!
You talk about de-escalate when triggered (19:15). What's the difference between de-escalating and stuffing it down?
That is why I refuse to go to church. Too many helpful people tearing you down. Who needs that?
so true
Come to the mosque. Muslims don’t do that. And you will learn a lot by reading the next chapter of God’s revelations (the Quran). I used to be Christian before I did extensive research and accepted the Quran as the final revelation. Muslims still believe in the Torah and the Gospel so it’s not like I forgot everything I learned from my Christian upbringing. But the Bible has been changed so much over the years by people. The Quran has never changed. Millions of people memorize every word of the Quran every year (since it was revealed) so that no one can ever change even one word without millions of people telling then they’re wrong. Thank God, this is one of the many miracles of the Quran. God sent the Quran as clear proof and guidance. It is so miraculous that it proves beyond doubt the existence of God. He did not leave us to wander aimlessly guessing. He sent clear proof and guidance.
What do u do If your suicidal your hole life with deep pain deep. Hurt anger resentment from crippling life lomg effects of abuse
Look up shadow work prompts so you can write out certain situations, how they made you feel and how you’ve improved already or can improve in the future.
What is there REWARDs FEELING FOR DOING things we don t want to do? What kind of Rewarding feelings result?
I was programmed not to display anger....
How to heal when one has narcissistic parents that are part of their life?
1. Snoring: Go sleep in another bedroom.
2. Bed-wetting: Don't know.
3. Toothpaste: Get your own toothpaste. After all, you have your own toothbrush, don't you?
Regulate ONE'S COMPOSURE THINKING.. ?
When I am triggered by disrespect or what not, I either shut down completely and freeze. I have no angry or any emotion. Other times I go to 0 to 100 in a nano second. I don’t know how I will respond sometimes because I have two extreme responses. Anyone else have this?
But if you accept everything you become powerless
Thomas Matthew Thompson Mark Robinson Amy
Some verses that help me: “It may be that you hate something and it is good for you and it may be that you love something and it is bad for you” (Quran 2:216)
“…Allah intends ease for you, not hardship…” (Quran 2:185)
“Allah does not intend to make difficulty for you…” (Quran 5:6)
Also, when we have difficulty, God sends us something to ease it. Maybe it is a friend or a gift or a friendly smile.
“So, surely with hardship comes ease. Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease. So once you have fulfilled ˹your duty˺, strive ˹in devotion˺, turning to your Lord ˹alone˺ with hope.” (Quran 94:5-8)
Also, the evil of this world does not come from God. God clarifies this in saying:
“Whatever good you may receive is certainly from God and whatever you suffer is from yourselves (humans)….” (Quran 4:79)
Yeah god is the real og. All that is good and all that is evil comes from him. Cannot even fathom the depths of horror and certainly not any heights of loveliness... which is god. He is both the absolute worst and the absolute best of everything.
Get your own toothpaste tube . . .
I am also Low Thyroid. Could that have anything to do with my EQ? Maybe not..
👌 👏 @TimFletcher this amazing info