How to get unstuck | Terry Singh | TEDxYYC
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- Опубліковано 21 сер 2014
- This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. What do we do when we feel like we have no ideas worth spreading? When the idea of making a change seems overwhelming and we don't know where or how to begin? Clinical psychologist Dr. Terry Singh believes that we have all experienced moments like this, moments of feeling "stuck". Drawing from his years of clinical and research experience, Singh explores what it feels like to be stuck, and why paying greater attention to this experience is often the crucial first step towards successful change.
Dr. Terry Singh is a Calgary-area clinical psychologist whose research explores how and why people change, and how mental health professionals can help aid in the process. Through his work as the Director of SSA Psychology and his role on
the treatment team at WGM Psychology, two leading Calgary-area mental
health clinics, he is involved in diagnosing and treating adults and
adolescents struggling with a wide variety of mental health issues.
About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
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Tips to unstuck from presentation:
1. Don't quickly jump to a solution before you fully experience anxiety or what you're feeling right now. There's no shortcut.
2. Pay attention to things happening around you. What makes you stress, worry, concern you. Identify it, also your daily habit.
3. Take time to reflect your life.
I've been reflecting on life for 56 years and still can't get unstuck
@@stratmancruthers ever tried just doing things. Just random stuff that you know you wouldn't do but even if it's blank, keep doing things. Walk a fish, water a dog, play with plants I don't know but definitely try that. I haven't tried that but I think I will try that because I've got a work addiction I need to break
Thanks for giving me 16:56 of my life back
I'd say the overall message here is that for you to understand your emotions in a useful way - like if you often feel upset but you're not sure why - consider what the causes are but think broadly. When I have problems like this, I like to keep a daily diary where I note down 1. everything that happened in the day ; 2. everything I did (i.e. my reactions) and 3. how I felt that day. This way I can get a good overall picture of events and their relationship to my feelings. I did this before and discovered that a reason why I felt depressed was because of the food I was eating - I was eating terribly - I guess that's a similar example to the pot of coffee one in this video. That guy was not aware that the coffee made him feel anxious, but if he made himself more aware of the things that happened and things he did in the day, it would have more likely occurred to him.
This talk could've been much shorter though I think. I agree with people who say it's a bad talk. It's pretty disorganised and lacking focus but the message it gives is a good one and important to remember
U should have done the ted talk.. You have more information then he..
@Sam Varley. Thank you
Reading comments here is more useful than listening to this talk.
Definitely well said, thank you 😀
I'm aware this comment has been made a long time ago but I'm still going to take my chances and ask.
I've been doing the whole journal thing everyday now and I record all my activities and how I feel while doing it and my reactions to it. But I can't seem to pin point the exact problem yet. When I look at it this way as in try to find the problem everything looks like a problem at the same thing nothing does. It is quite confusing. If you have any suggestion as to how I could find the problem then I'd really appreciate it.
"It is more important to get unstuck than to feel better." That's a really interesting perspective. While I don't 100% agree with it, as it doesn't leave room for important nuances, I like how this perspective allows me to look at stuckness from a different point of view.
My take away : The man who drinks gallons of coffee kept getting stuck because he thought his anxiety was a product of his mind/thoughts taking a hold over him. Therefore, preventing him to get unstuck because he could not get to the logical conclusion that he felt anxious because of the fact that he was drinking that much coffee. Point being: he was causing his own anxiety. I think the presenter's point is that most of the time, we get ourselves "stuck" because we are too afraid of our own feelings of anxiety and in trying to release ourselves from them, we get ourselves more stuck. Hence, that is why we unconsciously engage in rumination and other mental traps by trying to solve anxiety (like his patient Anna, attaching thoughts to her bodily sensations was perpetuating the cycle). In conclusion, there is no shortcut to releasing ourselves from experiencing anxiety. Anxiety is more of a biological, physical experience and a feeling that we feed by trying desperately to free ourselves from it. We will likely not get rid of it with our thoughts. We will release its hold when we learn to tolerate the sensations and sit with them instead of trying to rid ourselves from them by attaching stories and meaning.
To conclude: pay attention to your experience of the presence through your behaviour, emotions and thoughts.
impressive!!
Such an adorable human! Thank you for this lovely talk. Singh is trying to bring us back to the present moment, and help us understand that if we are to understand where our emotions are coming from and what we do about them, we must be careful not to jump to conclusions or make up reasons. As an example, for all the haters who seem to be missing this point, try asking yourselves "why does this talk bother me?" Maybe you'll find that you have some expectation of being handed some life wisdom that'll do the change for you. Singh is telling you let the feeling of being stuck teach you what you need to learn, IN ORDER to get unstuck. Don't resort to distractions, don't jump to conclusions, don't expect a TedTalk to "unstuck" you. YOU gotta do the thinking, the processing, the learning, and the coming to terms.
Feel Talks this is such a great comment, thank you!
Feel Talks I’ve been doing the thinking, processing, and learning for 3 years now. I get it. I am a mental health practitioner myself who hasn’t been in practice for over 2 years because of my anxiety and the “thinking, learning, processing.” I know medication is NOT the answer, nor is a TED talk going to help my situation. I guess I’m just trying to figure this whole thing out, but I’m drowning
This really helped me today in that it showed me to slow down and think through what I am experiencing at this moment. And that is a powerful in itself. in knowing exactly where I am at, I am looking in the right direction now. Hope has returned. Thank you. Empowering!
This talk is amazing. Exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you so much for such concrete, clear information
Love this... reminds me a bit of Claire Weakes teaching on anxiety. ❤
It's an interesting approach on anxiety issues. It's seems to me that our desire for magic bullet for each and every problem may be exactly the reason why we have those problems. Is your car broken? Get this mechanic to fix it. Have an anxiety? Here, take those pills. It doesn't work this way with our brains and psychology. Maybe it's time to stop trying to quickfix everything and just sit down to think and understand what is going on? But noooooo. Everyone want to have a magic bullet and noone want to make hard emotional labour to heal oneself.
We would like some more specific and helpful guidance than "make hard emotional labour"
One of the most smart and helpful talks. All the people that underestimate this talk are just not smart enough...and a honest one as well. Well done!
Yes, you are so smart.
JP51ism
🤦🏻
We are cut off from our bodies - from our subconscious. I mean, we can't even tell how much food is in our stomachs, and yet feel hungry on a full stomach. Perhaps in gaining self consciousness we've lost our understanding of the body's language, to keep it healthy.
I completely agree. I have watched a nature documentary where David Attenburough said something similar concerning human evolution.
Iv also watched a sermon from TD Jake's where he also made a similar statement.
I agree whole heartedly.
Wow! I was always stuck i a cycle of anxiety that I automatically attributed to work , now ill be taking a step back to reanalyze … great talk !
Excellent talk. Very enlightening. Thank you1
So helpful, thank you. Now I understand.
Nuhu..getting unstuck is not the first step to creating change..awareness of being stuck and areas in you life that you are stuck in is the first step to creating change!!
I can't change until I know why the abuse was aloud to happen. I want this to end. Why is it funny that I have been used, recorded, and bullied. I struggle because people want to see me struggle.
So.... mindfulness.
Although subtle, this message is spot on. I believe anxiety has equal physical and emotional sides. Fix one and the other follows suit.
I recommend listening to " getting unstuck"- les Brown
Love the content of this talk ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Thank you for this 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
This was one of the best ted talks I've heard in a while. Took a way better approach to describing going through the emotions to get over them. I really think this was insightful and helpful.
Nice talk. thanks.
Money is the thing that makes me the most unhappy..... I hate worrying about it constantly.
happy to share some ideas with you how to stop worrying about it
@@MitchellSnyder9 please help..my anxiety over money makes me sick to my stomach every day 😪
Thanks!
ein super Vergleich - "man muss erst ankommen um den Ort wieder verlassen zu können". Ja, erst einmal innehalten und schauen, was passiert da gerade mit mir - es annehmen und wahrnehmen ist so hilfreich. tolles Video
Genau!
One of the most helpful tedtalk 🎉
good talk actually! dont listen to the comments, this will help
I didn't get how to actually get unstuck
exactly
12:48
@@jacobunal4783 12:48
@@HappyestMoments Drink 4 pots of coffee and you'll get unstuck. Got it.
I thought it was just me. After watching it twice, I have a headache (that shouldn't happen). He said focus on your experience of being stuck, as opposed to immediately looking for a solution. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Okay- Why not put a pin right there, before going forward about "Anxious Anna?"
I need help getting a new job, I have been "stuck" at my gas station job for over 12 years. In my job I am an over achiever, I put all the energy I have into being the best employee possible. My dad always taught me to do the best you can do until you can't go any further, basically never give up and be a quitter. I feel like that is embedded into me. I have always hated the job especially the first 8 years, around then I transferred to a store that I actually didn't mind working at, it still sucked but was do-able. Well they ended up selling that store at the beginning of this year 2022. It was the only store in the company I would even want to work at, so I was transferred to a store I hate and have been struggling every since. I put all my energy into work and where I hate it it just zapps that much more out of me. This year I realized I am on the very tip of the autism spectrum, no one believed me at first until I educated them on autism-it's not always obvious and I very heavily mask it so I have always went under the radar. I'm sure that's a big reason why I feel so stuck. When I try to look for new jobs I find some I would like, but then I have to do application process to all these places and I feel like my ADHD goes into overload. It's just so much to do it's like my mind tells me to do other things, either that or I'm just self destructing unintentionally. My other half tells me if it was really that bad I would do the work to get a new job. I totally understand why he would say that, because to a non-depressed person it would just be as easy to go do it, make it happen! I don't think I explained this very well but it's hard to find the right words to describe how I feel stuck trying to get a new job. Honestly I don't fully understand why it's so hard for me to do. It feels like I am spiraling downward, and it's scary knowing what state of mind this will end up taking me to. A place that is hard to pull out of.
Thanks Terrinder
thanks
He sounds like Ray from Everybody Loves Raymond.
Yup I agree
And looks like an Indian version of him too
@@baky5372 Hahaha... That's exactly what I thought.
Great. I saw your comment before I saw the talk and now I'm never going to be able to unhear this.
Totally agree
thank you
I'm still Stuck
The speech was okay but what bothered me so much is the speaker kept looking back at the ground as if there was a script written on the floor... I assumed thats the speakers way of delivering their ideas and experience.
The screen with his slides was likely set up below him on the floor. Hence the looking down.
really glad I watched this. very insightful
thenk you great man!!!!
Reading through the comments, you can tell who has and who hasn't had psychotherapy.
K make an extra appt. with the headshrinker then. It still won’t make you superior.
@@fighterflight2492 her comment wasn't about superiority.
At least I didn't see it that way.
At least I know I don't brag about going to a psychologist, lol.
I believe Is more about we can analyze ourselves too.
Maybe you and I feel different types of "stuckness" and the one he talks about, relates to me more than to you.
Like with the example of the woman,
Sometimes I feel anxious so I do laundry, clean the house, do as much errands as possible, or avoid my mom and sisters, depending on what I think is giving me anxiety, but I end up tired for doing too much in a day.
So it wasn't about me doing all the stuff, is about how I felt.
(According to him)
So I guess next time I feel like doing all the errands I would have to sit down and think about how I feel, externally and internally.
But to be honest, knowing myself, I'm not able to just sit down and "think".
So I'll end up doing errands or binge watching UA-cam.
There's not in between with me.
Hence my type of stuck.
I do stuff, but I don't advance in life.
You get what I'm saying?
The only time I get to talk and think about how I'm feeling is on my 45mins appointment, because that's why I'm there.
So maybe in your case you need those motivational videos, I watch a bunch too.
And maybe that fits your way of being stuck.
I don't know man, I don't know if I'm making sense. My apologies if I didn't express myself clearer.
😢
Good job
Good talk. Thank you Terry. Pay more attention to our experience to unstuck.
This was very helpful and insightful
Now I'm feeling evening more stuck
lol well unstuck it you got this
This talk doesn't make any sense or give any solution to getting "unstuck".
Agreed.
I think that is literally the first mistake he described, if we try to hard to 'fix' our situation, like searching for a quick solution with a list of easy steps or something, we lose sight of why we're even stuck in the first place. And finding out why we're stuck is the only way to get to the bottom of it and really fixing it. Idk, I found it really helpful
😔I was hoping I could connect with this talk.😔
some situations can create thoughts that induce anxiety. not always the other way around.
I felt stuck watching this for 16 min and not seeing actual solutions
What was very helpful from he said was that the anxiety I have been expecting for most of my life I’d always attach it to something or someone instead of just seeing it for what it.. ANXIETY. The question is how to rid the anxiety because it’s human nature to tag our circumstances to it. What is the antidote to overcoming anxiety? I lost countless friends and jobs and opportunities by attaching my anxiety to anything that provoked the slightest anxiety which some anxiety is normal when we perform in any situation but coloring the whole situation with the cause of anxiety causes you to loose everything and everyone meaningful in your life. I’m 50 and I just came to realize that I’ve pushed most everything out of my life “hiding” behind anxiety because I don’t know how to overcome this. Anyone have any ideas on things that actual work for good to rid anxiety once and for all???
Jen A , Same with me totally ! I 've lost many friends and great jobs because of my anxiety! I took anxiety medicine but it didn't work the way it was suppose to with me. I was so looking forward to some suggestions from others but maybe there is no answer.
Thank you so much, this is an excellent presentation.
I wish that the example he gave was more complicated. A man who drinks gallons of coffee/ anxiety is a very obvious combination.
How to get across 2 people to listen to me when I told both,I didn't say they were welcome to stay at my house at all ? I'm beginning to have panic attacks and loosing sleep, I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT STAYING HERE ‼️‼️
I've been "stuck" for 12 years.
I think this gentleman means well but his message seems to be “increasing the awareness of what causes you to get stuck”
Rather than steps to actually help you get unstuck. I don’t feel he gave me any tools to work with to help me become unstuck!
The point is the second you start becoming more self conscious of your own body and mind as a human, it opens the door for you to figure out the steps on your own. Becoming unstuck is different for each person and he pretty much explained the first step to finding your own plan.
I lost focus.. probably when you started talking about anxiety while the video title isn’t about anxiety
Anxiety creates paralysis
So basically what he's saying is....only you can unstuck yourself....he is only there to watch and observe as you progress.
Hey, he didn't charge you to mumble sweet mirror/echoing questions. Neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them & psychiatrists (psychologists) collect the rent. If anyone tells you to "get help" send them this.
Well, no. Most people who need psychotherapeutic intervention tend to hide their true feelings from themselves - that's why they need the help. Speaking with a therapist is a little like journaling; it gets your thoughts in motion.
The questions and responses that psychotherapists ask and give generally serve many beneficial purposes, such as getting you to reflect on and contemplate your situation more, breaking you out of any thought loops if you tend to get stuck in them, challenging your beliefs and world-view that may be hindering you, and holding you accountable for your progress, and witnessing your experience of the world.
Excellent talk. Thank you
Yes, I can't stand looking for the truth. I want this to end. Why is it so hard to come out and admit what is real and what is set up my manipulators.
OK. Turning inward, that's the definition of introversion.
He sounds like Norman Bates from Bates Motel!
The first part of the talk drew me in (I related) but the second half ... not so much.
Ditto
He’s so attractive and intelligent:)))
We are life experiences, if we have to deny life experiences then we are denying life and we can not grow, to feel , or help everyone
this speech is depressing
Excellent talk very enlightening thank you
I feel like until someone loans be a thousand dollars I’ll be stuck forever just trying to feed myself and pay rent.
Really interesting talk
Many some people are depressed like me.
Thank you information txt fungsion account to years
So...how to get unstuck?
What winch should I use?
Loved it !!
good nap music
🖒
This talk gave me anxiety...
Wahahaha!
Didn't get what he is talking about, how to get experience of getting stuck?? Didn't get it
Is he on the info graphics show?
sadly, I am thoroughly frustrated with this talk. Nothing concrete but rhetoric. I have heard from many that say 'what you focus on grows', while he has a contradictory avenue - with no tangible advice.
Shawn Sabharwal exactly I agree with your completely- I am feeling stuck and I feel nothing in this talk helped me to begin to get unstuck- actually it made me feel more depressed!
not feeling this one
"Not four cups of coffee but for pots of coffee dude." The psychologist seems like a really nice man. But I don't think this presentation was captivating. He seems that he would be an excellent child psychologist very playful and calm.
The talk seemed to go in circles with no real underlying message. It was very boring and honestly wasn't very good. He doesn't seen comfortable speaking and I think that is what is causing the disconnect between him and and his audience.
I didn't use to live in fear but I do now and no one wants to help because they are not telling the truth.
what are you going to do?
this LONG boring talk did NOT explain how to get unstuck.
Instead he basically suggested to treat ¨yourself¨ like a baby.
Swankster welcome to Ted talks.
Nol ldid not kill any one do any wrongdoing it will pass l think no need to worry it is strange now
Swankster, sure it did. You just failed to translate what he said into something you can do about it. Basically the "key" is being mindful. i.e. Meditation and paying attention to all the things you feel and as much of what's going on in your immediate environment as you can. No one (that I know of) has been able to explain why this works, just that it does.
DressUpGirl ps, if you got that from this, either your experience/knowledge is lacking, or you weren't paying attention. Being mindful isn't babying yourself. It's a legitimate method of meditation and can help resolve a lot of mental difficulties.
He basically said nothing.
bro i am far beyond stuck im trapped royally...1 miatake goes a long way folks..NEVER LOSE FAITH..ALWAYS KEEP GROWING AS A PERSON BUT NEVER FORGRT YOUR PAST MISTAKES,one like for one positive for the day....lets do it
What he means is to observe it
"Study after study tells us" you mean the studies nobody can seem to replicate? This was a waste of time
It -- the talk -- started out with great promise but crashed and burned. A bit boring.
is this dbt?
I dont think he answered the question at all. ha ha I thought this was going to be a i feel stuck in life and want to get things going type of lecture. My bad i guess
BASIC SIMBOL COMMONECATION
☆ FAVORITE OK
What caused Anna's physiological feelings? I thought our mental health caused the physiological
Sarah Dunn, it works both ways. You can use your physiology to affect change in your feelings and emotions. Check out the Tony Robbins videos here on UA-cam.
i just feel hopeless,
Where can I find a counselor like you? I'm serious. I can't find any help and it's frustrating.
TEDx =not TED; YYC= event at Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
I didn't find this helpful
Anxiety and panic attacks...two common symptoms of serious magnesium deficiency.
So eat more bananas?
đẹp tai quá à
Better not reading comments..it will depress you more
What the heck? He basically repeated the same thing over and over .. Now I can’t get 8:15 of my life back.... great .... next ....
step moms:
:o