Why you feel what you feel | Alan Watkins | TEDxOxford
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- Опубліковано 17 гру 2015
- Understanding why you feel what you feel is one of the most important aspects of human development. After understanding comes control. When you control your emotions through vertical development, you can be more successful and happy.
We’ve all seen adults behave like children and ‘throw their toys out of the pram’ if they don’t get their way. An inability to control emotions prevents us from growing up and becoming mature successful human beings.
Dr. Alan Watkins, founder of Complete Coherence, introduces the key phases of human development and explains why poor emotional control is holding back progress. He asks us to imagine a world where we never have to feel anything we don’t want to feel; where we have complete control of what we feel and when we feel it.
Emotions meet technology in a new app (Universe of Emotions). Taking us on a journey around this Universe, Dr Watkins explains how we can choose our own emotional ‘planetary’ address and live happier and more fulfilled lives.
Alan Watkins is CEO and founder of leadership consultancy, Complete Coherence. He is recognized as an international expert on leadership and human performance.
Dr Watkins has a broad mix of commercial, academic, scientific and technological abilities. Over the past 18 years he has been a coach to many of Europe’s top business leaders and has helped companies treble share price, enter the FTSE 100, salvage difficult turnarounds and establish market leadership in their industry. He has written five books and numerous peer reviewed scientific articles. He advised the GB Olympic squad prior to London 2012 and is working with them leading up to Rio in 2016. He has three degrees and is a neuroscientist by background.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
He is right. Nobody has to feel anything they don't want to. I spent my whole life miserable until I decided to be happy everyday. I forced myself to smile and think happiness till its become a habit and now I live it for real. He's right, no one comes and injects you, you choose how to feel. Took me to age 47 to realise this and now I have freedom.
Happy for you. But how can you make it? I tried to be happy, but I failed. Sometimes bad feelings just surround you all the time.
Pls can you guide on the below question...i am having same issue
@@yanli1811 You need to work with your negative subconscious beliefs. They are the underlying cause of your feelings.
@@yanli1811 smile from ear to ear and envision. It really helps .
@@vithyamuthusamy8114Acknolwdge the sadness when it comes. Say hello to it and the add 'please don't disturb me now, see you some other time', and then you make the effort of focusing your mind on something else that makes you happy or on the beauty of life, outside yourself'. Aknoledgement and acceptance is key
Alan's talk addresses the first steps of how to respond to difficult emotions. But a key point he misses - and it seems to be one he doesn't subscribe to - is allowing the emotion just to be there.
We can't control what we feel. Difficult emotions are an inevitable part of life. But we can learn to respond to our emotions in ways that enhance rather than diminish our well-being.
For me, the key stages are: noticing what it is that you're feeling and getting distance from it by labeling the emotion ('oh, that's anger - I'm feeling anger') or by finding where it's located in your body and describing the sensations to yourself. Then, just allow the emotion to be there. You're allowed to be scared, angry, upset, hurt etc -- and while often they may feel unpleasant, they add to the color of life (and in my mind are much preferable to just a permanent numbness). Having accepted that you are currently experiencing the particular emotion, you can ask yourself what you need in that moment to look after yourself and choose how to respond to it in a way that is in line with your values.
Great! Thank you!
I completely agree.. a well thought out and cogent observation..
Im.glad I read your comment before listening
Fantastic comment. I agree completely. Thank you.
Yes I experience panic attacks and I feel that being with it is what I have to learn
A really engaging TEDx talk. But there are some things I can't agree with. I don't have a scientific background, but for sure I've been studying about this. Yes, objectify the emotion and realize you are not your emotion and you just feel it at the moment. Controlling your emotions might be a bit misunderstood. Controlling your emotions doesn't mean you are a ray of sunshine 24/7. Controlling your emotions mean that you know you own your emotions and they don't own you. It means that you can surf between them and know you are responsible for what you feel. So, if you feel anger, you feel depressed, you feel livid, you don't run away from that feeling and try to layer it with a so-called ''good feeling''. You just feel it and you know it will pass and you don't identify with it. We can't feel selectively.
So beautiful words!😍💖
I think he's selling an app
you have put emotion explanation in very simple and understanding language for us(like common people)
I think what he is pointing out here is very profound. One has a choice to make when confronted with a situation that can make
one angry. If one makes that choice, that person has to undergo all the unsatisfactoriness or the suffering that comes with it. Instead, if that person chooses something else and wants to move to a different planet that is ‘happy’, that person can overcome that suffering - and it is only that person who could do this and no one else. For example, if your mind is conditioned with good will with compassion and kindness, and you have this as an antibody within you, you can easily find reasons not to let anger take over you. You choose to ‘let go’ using the antibody you have developed through practice by an inner realisation of its value and goodness (ie letting-go of anger through ‘good will’ nourished with compassion and kindness) which then becomes the mechanism by which one moves from one planet to another. In fact, in my opinion, the Buddha’s doctrine of moving to a sublime state of happiness called Nibbana seems to harmonises so well with Dr Wilson’s articulation. In other words, your happiness depends on you and no one else! Seems surprising but the logic appeals to me very much.
@@personal_finance_au read a little bit what is sais about him ..under de video. He is a worldwide recognized leadership coach . He wrote books ...he is very successful . He doesn't need money from that particular app. :)
I had the "disease of meaning" at the age of 11...up till now, I'm still searching the meaning, but I think for me it is gratitude...this is the only thing that makes sense to me in this world
Gratitude has been been a major guide on my journey as well.
Jesus loves you so much
Dr Watkins doesn’t say much to justify the “why you feel what you feel” title. It is beliefs that underlie and drive emotions, and it is as difficult to actually change what you’re feeling as it is to change your beliefs.For (a simplistic) example, if one has a belief that sex before marriage is wrong, they will experience anxiety (on the fear spectrum) and self-recrimination (on the anger spectrum) if they indulge. If one believes sex before marriage is fine, no such emotions will occur, and in fact joy (happiness spectrum?) will likely occur when the relationships go well.
He also lists 34,000 “feelings”- which are not feelings or emotions at all but self-images! He advocates fiddling with your self concept until you find one you like, but he gives no method to do so. Probably because there aren’t any ways of “control” that produce any benefit or are even possible. (Hyping up your image for romance at a bar might get you hooked up, but the benefits are usually dubious).To change your emotions involves investigating and challenging your beliefs, and most people value their beliefs too much to do this. We tend to identify with our beliefs and therefore take our consequent emotions seriously - which does lead to much suffering. There are plenty of good therapies available to deal with self-defeating beliefs, leading to much happier emotions/feelings.
There is a another, simple way to deal with feelings that puts us perhaps more in charge of our lives: We become aware of the energy of emotions as sensations. These sensations can be pleasant, bringing relaxation and smiles to our faces, or unpleasant, perhaps flooding us with fight/flight energy, for example. Then comes a choice: We can simply let the emotion pass, which takes only a few seconds, or then mindfully label it as a feeling, which might take a few more seconds; and then have our attention be fully available for whatever life brings next, maybe even a desire to investigate the feeling if it is troublesome.We neither blame others for the emotions we may experience, nor “own” them, but are simply aware of them in the same ongoing way we are aware of any other sights, sounds, smells, or sensations. This is efficient, effective living, meeting life as awareness, without concern for self-image. It is effective when the ability to “let go” is there, the awareness that you are not your thoughts, feelings, or anything else you perceive.
Thanks for the insight.
Your third paragraph is a very good complement to what Alan Watkins is saying, actually in other videos he usually spends more time talking about the energy of emotion. However I've never seen/heard him talk about the choice mechanism, I've found that in other speakers and they say exactly the same thing as you : note that you are having the emotion but let it pass, just like another sound or smell that cannot actually hurt you.
Of course if you feel a negative emotion after performing an action that goes against your beliefs (as in your first paragraph) the problem is different, but that would be another subject : how to live with the consequences of your choices.
Thanks for the feedback, kish2. There's more about choice in my comments on youtube under Gary Weber post: predestination, control, free will and the illusion of time. I recently wrote on the illusory nature of free will but haven't posted it anywhere yet.
Byron Varvarigos -- Excellent post! :)
You changed my life. Let's see what happens.
Byron Varvarigos l
it's funny what he said when they learn the rules at age 6-9 and most people stay there, people laugh. In actuality he's being serious.
David Perez that's why it's funny.
Thats a relief laughter because the audience cant put through the uncomfortable truth.
Yes so funny! I believe part of why it makes people laugh is the discomfort when people realize how real it is.
@@melaniestewart5843 yep, people got it alright :D
Mindless self indulgence, and selfish instant gratification without having a collective calm disposition is normal. Just going with the flow, not knowing what the flow even is. Always playing follow the leader... boring!!! Endless ignorance make up the world nowadays, so cold and disconnected more now than ever before. Solo originality is fading and should be encouraged more than ever. Stay kind and patient and you will be content and confident with who you are. Realize what you have instead or what you don't have
Emotional intelligence and mastery is the key to happiness, but it’s easier said than done
NLP courses can teach you how
Love the bit where he says if you're lucky you will have a painful experience which will make you question everything. How true!
Without the depression I would never start on the 'self help journey' and I would never have the life I have now. :)
Long term depression is a nuroplasticity, not a depression actually.
When my carelessly chosen career sucked the life out of me I reached this point, I’m so grateful I’ve paused and been reaching inside of myself to create my own compass 🧭 to the life that’s fulfilling, still working on it but I feel so alive!
To everyone who is experiencing a difficult situation:
To shoot an arrow you have to pull it backwards. So when life drags you back with some troubles, it means it's going to launch into something better.
Into something, to kill it with your help.
@@heldelmer8765 Seriously?
Only extending your metaphor..rather hilariously 😜😆😆😆
Ok there is the punctuation, and spelling problems.
'Into something, to kill *it*, with your help.' Its a specially good joke if English is not their first language. 👍👍👍
@@ravenspace it's not ahah
Connected very well for the first 10 minutes but was expecting a real solution to the crises talked about instead of an app
you should listen to a few more of his ted talks, he gives a few solutions or techniques you can use.
Same here
Based on some of his other research you can move yourself to a more neutral (i.e. healthy) environment through rhythmic breathing. But to move yourself from what may be identified as negative or positive you must learn how to overcome your emotional feeling. Your emotions are controlled by your body. All this eventually controls your thoughts and behavior. BUT you are not your body from an awareness perspective. If you are angry and mad you can literally elevate yourself out of that emotion by understanding that it isn't YOU that feels this emotion it is your body. This is the exact same idea of thinking about your thoughts. You are not your thoughts you are one level higher and therefore can witness thoughts coming and going. The app is brilliant when you understand his ideas and ideas of other buddha type figures. The app literally is made just to identify positive and negative emotions and their intensity and to build your vocabulary to identify more subtle levels of emotions.
I think you misunderstood.
1) crises don't require a "real solution" -- they're valuable guidance (although really uncomfortable)
2) the solution is not outside you for someone to provide. You finally look inside (practice, practice, practice, practice), and grab hold of an emotion so you can objectify it and develop your awareness (growing your "feelings" beyond a 6-to-9 year old capability)
3) the first 10 minutes were around the problem of lacking awareness of your emotions -- it's great you resonated, so you're primed to master these resistances (anaesthetic approach, distraction, etc). These are what prevent you from achieving point #2, which is the actual "solution" for point #1.
4) To overcome point #3 problems, you make it easier for yourself to do the better thing -- to get to know yourself and address "that question." That emotions galaxy app sounds like a fun, easy way to refine your understanding of your actual state. But you have so many choices...
Maybe you could try your own version of awareness-increasing "meditation" -- a long bath, stretching, walking on the treadmill or outdoors, waking up very early and laying in bed thinking, or traditional meditation. Writing, drawing/painting, strength training, fishing, snowboarding, or daydreaming could get you there, too.
Strange but true: listening to yourself changes you into something better.
It's amazing you can feel 1000% completely different about "the same" (crisis?) circumstances "just" by changing yourself.
...And that you change yourself "just" by listening to your own internal state (it's a trick -- once you "hear" yourself, you can never "unhear" it and that's why "just" listening truly changes you).
....And that you can hear your own internal state by creating the space for it -- petty little things like a bath or a walk.
It doesn't "do it" every time, but you never lose what you gain. Also, sometimes you "just" get better at getting better ("I tried not having caffeine and noticed I was less focused on the external world...").
The point here is, experiment with what "does it" for you enough that you want to keep trying and trying and trying.
Lastly, imagine:
Everyday you are reborn as a chick inside an egg. Doesn't matter how dark or scared or confused or hungry -- you simply do not stop pecking away until you get through that shell. Peck, peck.... rest, breathe.... peck.... peck...... peck
Now see this as you trying to get to your inner self -- no matter the appointments, the kids, legal/financial/emotional/health issues whatever... every chance you remember your task... keep pecking away to get to know and see and hear your inner self. Only you can do this.
Keep digging and shed light on your emotions! They will shape shift into something more subtle and delightful only to grow into something bigger for you to again discover.
And if that doesn't work, 1/4 teaspoon baking soda in water before bedtime. Never met a crisis that won't cure.
...Have fun!
@@OurNewestMember thanks bro for your effort of explanation
Normally I make a summary for other people so they don’t have to watch the whole video. But this, you just need to watch. It is amazing
The build up was great, but he killed it with selling this app.
Thankful that he shared about that app. Was quite interesting
Yes, labeling is an important step towards awareness, but the key word missing in this talk is identification. As soon as you stop identifying with your emotions when you have them, they automatically lose much of their power. You are NOT the emotion, something Watkins is shortly touching on around 17:49 and onwards. I feel anger instead of I am angry. The next question then is, who is this 'Í' that is aware of the coming and going of emotions, feelings, thoughts and everything else we can focus on in this existence. Now that's where it becomes truly interesting..
Love it
Vincent Kuiper was
mmmkay I’m waiting for the right time to “drop some acid”. I’ve just finished reading a book published this year about the science of psychedelics-very interesting. My conditioning has a very stronghold on my psyche, ordinary methods don’t seem to be able to shift the blocks so I’ve been considering this method but it’s a bit tricky to find a practitioner in Australia 😂Congratulations btw
Yeah personally sharing it on twitter doesn't seem the right step towards detaching yourself from a label.
The problem is when people see having emotions as a hinderance. I chose to feel this or that, I have no connection to my outside reality. Western movies about spies and snipers and cowboys are about people not stopped by their emotions. Emotions are viewed as an inconvenient sticky web. Very good. So we are supposed to operate by by logical descions not emotional connection. How nice if that were true but the Iraq veteran who comes back and two years later remembers that he shot several children and is non functional for a while. Child molesters have no connection with their victim. Torturers in the mexican cartel get on off on pleading. In fact people who see themselves as in charge of whether they feel good or bad and are not effected by what other people say or do work well as criminals. The dad who feels nothing as beats his kid, the son off's his family and then has hamburger. Emotions are there for a reason and if you function by only what you tell yourself not from your emotional connnection to your reality you may be a sociopath or at least a politician.
I shall be 80 next year and I've never known what planet I'm on. that's what my wife says. great talk.
Happy 80th Tom!
What ON EARTH have you been doing, Tom? Lol
i'm a space cadet
Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. There's a book about it so it must be true.
I have aspergers - 'wrong planet syndrome', you may relate.
This is hands down the most important thing you could ever learn in life.
I don't know why I haven't been looking for such videos on TEDx.
this is like the foundation I needed. this should be taught in schools every year.
I used to show his videos on the first day of class
He is essentially describing the ancient technique of mindfulness.
He is also describing emotional literacy. If you don't have a very large emotional vocabulary you aren't able to recognize many of the emotions that are affecting you with mindfulness. You only recognize the conscious sensation but not the "character" of the emotion or the emotional conceptions within yourself that generate your internal senses.
tmstani23 อ
That’s most TED talks tbh
He is essentially describing the ancient technique of bourgeois, paternalistic, individualising victim-blaming. what socio-economic barriers has he had to overcome to find happiness??
lavengeance - And he is essentially describing the ancient technique of flogging a product.
The first step is to recognize where you are, what you feel, and then you’ll know what to do next. The best ted talk ever! This changes the whole game, for everything you need in life. I can honestly say this is the very first principle to apply in any situation. Without this practice you can’t do or apply what other Ted talks or books or psychologists will ever teach you. No wonder why we live in the a world of sadness and confusion, we don’t even understand the most basic tool for our existence, and that is mastering our emotions.
The first step is to recognize where you are, what you feel, and then you’ll know what to do next.
Doesn't this serve to a temporary purpose and not for your main/higher purpose?
to explain it more; lets say that the next thing to do that i knew after answering my first question was to : Talk with your friend. But does knowing that answer, eat healthy, serve me for my higher purpose?
Thanks a ton! I was waiting for such a nice motivational speech till now so I can say this is the best ted talk I have ever seen . Your family should proud of you ,how lucky they are specially your kids I can’t find a special word for you ,you’re amazing a man like you have the ability to change the world ...if we hear by heart .. God bless you
Love how everyone here liked the talk, and want something to help with emotions. So his team creates an app and everyone flips out. RELAX, the app is $1.50, and it's well worth it as it does actually help, and it's honestly really well done. Is he not supposed to advertise and app that helps and relates to his talk?
whats the app called?
@@kendallheidi9629 universe of emotions
18:15 "So You really don't have to feel anything that you don't want to feel. Misery is optional". WOW! The ramifications of that statement are cataclysmically profound!
I enjoyed the first part of the talk. It was really promising, until things started to go downhill. I doubt whether Dr. Watkins has forgotten about his neuroscientific training. Not even the ten most common emotions we usually talk about have distinct neural bases in our brains, and it's actually possible to feel several different emotions simultaneously. But now Dr. Watkins is trying to sell us on the idea of dwelling on one of the thousand planets of the Universe of Emotions from his company. I wish he remained a researcher, not a businessman.
if thats what you got from that ted talk it shows how accurate what he is saying is
@@nedchar757 Stop being a gullible angry kid please
I suddenly felt like I was getting a sales pitch too
I totally agree with you. One should stop at the timestamp 13.28 . Beyond that it looks like Alan is promoting the App, Universe of Emotions.
I got what he's saying, and it's the actual solution to problematic emotions: Objectify them. Or as someone else said in another TED talk, observe them. Look at them. What are you feeling? Chills up your spine? a fluttery feeling in the stomach? What? Look at them carefully. As you do it, you will find that you have to step out of the emotion to observe it. And... you're out of the grip of whatever emotional storm you've been in, even as you are aware of it happening. Do it again and again, every time you feel out of control, and soon you'll have mastery. You can think a little more rationally even when, for example, you're feeling anger-and maybe you can even come up with a solution to whatever it is that's roiling you.
It's also called mindfulness. :)
I had a bad tragedy where I woke up in the hospital last year, and I can assure you that everything he’s saying is correct. This spoke to me in every way it could have.
I started my crises a year after finish my degree and start to work. Took me several years in order to rise again, to accept, to face the question and start to look inside.
Though this talk is older, the core tenants remain the same. I'm at a transitional phase where I've felt a range of emotions but instead of feeling alive because of them, I've felt like I'm slowing dying inside. But I am convinced that the best of me is ahead. Thank You for Sharing.
Bless you
energy in motion..emotion! blew my mind! did not know that xD
Really? First mentioned also in the books of walsh in 1994
I think I read it first in Molecules of Emotion by Candace B Pert in 1997.
Lol yeah, I read it first from Robert Kiyosaki's Book: Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
Blew my mind too
What a great talk one of my very favourite ted talks. Great speaker, relaxed and down to earth. His sons are very lucky to have him as a dad. Bravo.
I'm quite convinced I had that kind of awakening at 14yo. I'm 15 now and I've grown much since then. It sure would have been difficult for my parents to deal with 14 yo me. There was just too much going on in my head. I now am in a much better state of mind, even if it took me a whole year. I have a clear picture of who I want to be and I'm consciously putting in effort to act and think according to my new and polished values. A significant portion of my development is caused by ted talks and I'm very grateful for that.
All the best to you on the rest of your journey through life...✌️
@@me-cherry Thanks! You have a good life too!😁
This is a very good topic. Though as it was already mentioned in some comments, understanding what you are feeling at any given moment is just a beginning of this exciting adventure of understanding oneself, others and world. And of course, taking your own responsibility for your feelings and actions is very important to start with it, but next always should be an awareness of why these emotions emerge. Take a moment before responding to a trigger. Recognize the context, event and if our past is drawing conclusions; next recognize what is your body automatic response (eg. temperature rises, weakness in legs etc) and what your mind is projecting: what is the main (dominant, overpowering) emotion and what others are present; realize the whole process. Only then think what are your options to respond and choose that response, which will help you to achieve a goal (to be happy for example).
Also, it is very important to recognize how other people are feeling, and ask them why (eg. Why are you angry?), followed by a mutually agreed solution. It really helps to understand what your actions mean to the other person, it helps them understand themselves better. Oh, and don´t forget to say goodbye to your expectations, as you completely forget to see the real person in front of you.
I have started doing it only recently, but I am feeling so much better and much happier!
So far, this is the best strategy I can come up with, hope it helps :)
Best comment!! Really helpful don't know why people are not liking this valuable information in comment but let me tell you one thing at least one person that is I have read it carefully and going to save it for future until i can't recognize my emotions
@@amitapandey5187 Thank you so much Amita! I already forgot I have written this comment :) I must say I definitely did some progress on this journey, though there is still so much to learn. I also was able to get a much better glimpse at how I tick and my partner since I am in a current relationship. But without starting this internal work before it would not have happened. Wish you well! Hope that one day you will be very proud of yourself of how much have you improved :)
Bravo! 💓💞🥰🙏with Practice, all The Stages of This Process become Automatic with Perfect Functionality: Congratulations For Stopping & Taking Time to Restructure The Process Aiming For Better Results 💓💞🥰🙏🪞
"There was a time before you knew you existed".🤯🤯🤯
I literally thought I was born 4 years old. I woke up one day, and it was like my brain just start realizing I was actually living life.
Before that everything felt like a dream.
OH MY GOD. The part in the middle about the sudden realization PERFECTLY describes what happened to me 2 years ago when I was 25. OH MY GOD.
How am i just finding this talk now! i wish i found this years ago. it's incredible!
Best Ted talk most people will never take the time to watch.
Acceptance. Keeping a balance and not tipping into any strong [ positive or negative ] emotions. Feeling content and fulfilled. Grateful 🙏
This man has found the solutions to our problems. We need to take them to heart !
Beautifully put. Such a clear way of teaching us how to self analise for a great positive result. Very empowering
"you dont have to feel anything that you dont want to feel" because in order to feel something, like offense, you have to pick it up first. someone offers you something like offense and in order to feel offended you have to accept that they gave you that. When in actuality you dont have to do that, and that action in and of itself is a choice. you can choose to distance yourself from the negativity, or you can choose to look at things from other perspectives that would not allow you to pick up the offense. I come from a history of bipolar, so this can be very difficult, but it IS possible. because once you distinguish your feelings as what they truly are, and how they effect you, then you can distinguish and have the choice of whether they truly bother you or not.
These days everyone is told to be offended by everything
What I’ve discovered on my journey, in this life so far is to acknowledge meaning and to understand meaning, because it’s given to things that happen. And what just happened could mean something completely different to you. Which will bring up different feelings and emotions, for example some with you could get up set because your not as upset as they are about what happened? Which brings up expectations. And that’s another one. So if you can drop expectations and give less meaning to things that happen and see everything as a great big happening . Your day might be less emotional and upsetting than any other
I thank you for this. This is why i needed to hear to heal myself. The awareness. Its such a joy.
The order in which he listed the external distractions were absolutely accurate to my life
I am at the planet of loneliness, emptiness and frustration :( I want to go to Happiness, adventure, achievement and Freedom
go for it then...,
Even Elon Musk can't leave his planet.
@@orvardzapanta9729 in fact elon is so likeable and intelligent because he can explores his emotional planetarium. That's what lets him try to leave his own physical planet ahah good pun tho
What ON EARTH are you gonna do in MARS? Lol
Everyone wants the same
just go for it
I have been following Dr Alan Watkins work since last year when I watched his TEDx Portsmouth - Being brilliant everyday. I love his sense of humour, his ability to take a very complex topic and bring it into language that people can easily understand ... I just love his energy and passion for this topic.
I think he is 'brilliant' and love that he is helping us all to be 'brilliant every day'. Another great lesson, thank you.
Great! For me dealing with one's own feelings is the most important treat, too. I wasn't aware of it until last year and now I see it on almost every person. :(
This talk started for me what is probably the most substantial transformation of my life.
Thank you. I really enjoyed the way this was delivered. Right to the point and easy to understand.
First I liked the Talk, BUT then he said, you dont have to feel your negative Emotions ?? YOu dont have to feel that ? That is not a way to change them. Its Acceptance NOT CONTROL, Control and not wanting them, makes them stronger and more negative. Sad, that such a good speacker, doesnt bring the right thing out. Cheers from Spain
you’re right, i agree that’s where he went wrong too, acceptance not control
good luck in life
When you understand emotions it should be easy to control emotions, at least that’s what I think he’s doing.
I use acceptance as a reason to not feel into negative emotions. Its kinder for myself and i dont want to feel them. Acceptance came first then eventually rejecting thoughts and belief patterns that cause the emotional responses
@@billythesmidge588 Yes, acceptance as acknowledging the emotions we are feeling so then we are able to consciously shift to one that better serves ourselves.
I was fortunate to learn this about 13 years ago. Ignorance really is bliss though. It's easier to blame someone or something else over looking at what's causing the feelings to arise in the first place. Knowing this is one thing; accepting it is what makes the real difference.
Woah! he delivered three of his boys
I have always questioned the "rules" - everything he has said is exactly it. I've never heard anyone describe these thoughts or feelings I've had before like he has. Why is anything the way it is ? Why should we do it this way? Why are we even doing it?
One of the greatest talks I've ever heard..👏👏👏very mindful, makes you think why you feel what you feel..very positive message
eh
So inspiring. These talks have changed my way of viewing relationships. Thanks
In essence, the gist of what I got from watching all this going from end to end, thrice, is:
Nobody else makes you either happy/or, unhappy...; but, instead, it's all down to 'you'.
-Emotions are Energy in Motion
-Feelings are Awareness of the Emotion
-Control your emotions, OR you are playing a lottery with your LIFE!
But how???
Answer to “...but how??” ***Breath. Breathe. He has two other talks on controlling heart rate through breathing in a smooth and rhythmic pattern. This technique puts blood, oxygen, electricity, to your brain from your heart. Essentially, it’s a huge step to allowing your best self to function. Then, go forward from there
yes
This TED Talk helped me define this important, yet unanswered question : who do I want to become ? Where am I going ? This whole process is probably lifelong... anyways, made a little progress today ! Thank you sir.
He's right about a tragedy being a gift. This is what I learned in therapy.
You can't help it but just love Alan Watkins. Brilliant, eloquent and down right funny.
He was speaking the truth, especially "Society is the bigger parents"
I want to be on the planet Dr. Watkins lives. seems awesome
Its really not this simple, as much as this has good points its incredibly important to let yourself feel a full range of the emotional spectrum aswell. It is a vital part of good mental health.
three lines-
decide what you do not want to feel
decide what you want to feel
feel what you decide(powerful, strong, joyful, happy, blissful etc)
I really love this wording on 11:30 of "Emotions are just energy and motion" this is actually so true! it made many puzzles in my head to fit together.. Thanks!
Thank you, I'm starting to find peace with my emotions.
Great advise from Alan. I find it the most difficult to control emotions and will use his technique
Amazing talk, he is so right, we should train ourselves to control our feelings and emotions.
Thank you Dr. Alan
The best thing I got from this was the relatable "if you're lucky you hit a crises", which I think is beyond true. The most emotional people with the most diverse feelings are the ones that have experienced trauma and mental illness. I know from experience, this level of emotional understanding is not typically displayed by the average person with the average level of hardship in life. I am trying my best to reach the level a commenter posted, about mindfulness and awareness of these feelings, indulging and ignoring, finding an equilibrium to seperate the things I feel into a category of sensation instead of a moniker for who and how and what I am.
So now where u are
I have used this strategy, and it has change my outlook and given me what I want.
Thank you for the additional input to my personal mastery- freedom to choose our emotions in any given situation.
8:09 If you're lucky, you have a crisis. Something terrible happens
11:34 emotions (energy in motion, always happening) versus feelings (awareness in our mind, may or may not exist!)
17:36 get control of it: take your subjective experience outside of you and objectify it
Secrets revealed
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@@randomthings8376 y? :)
You're the real MVP bro 🙌🏾💯🏆
Very true and also very eastern philosophy 🙏. Both are right :)
There are no limits as to how much I love TED 🌍🌎🌏
Time
Exposed to
Danger, you mean?
This is awesome!! So well explained, so grateful! Thank you
Wow. Exactly my feelings after losing my son to illness. Questioning the point of my life. I didn’t know there was a term for it, but I called it purgatory.
I tried to "rebel" (as much as a homeschooled teenager can) I wore dark clothes and dark makeup.... my mom complimented me on how I looked and my dad teased me a bit but wasn't angry, he didnt tell me "no" I am so blessed with kind parents.
Thank you sooooo much for a beautiful explanation.
Thank you again for expressing the CHOICE each one of us have .
Learning to understand where your emotions developed from in the first place and why you react in such a way towards them can help you to forgive, then you have taken back the control and the change begins. I loved this video until the application was introduced, but I understand the concept. 👏❤
Amazing analysis of the range of emotions we can experience and an app that enables you to navigate this vastly complex “galaxy”.
I watched almost the whole length of this talk with approval. But bullying is terrifying and nothing else it can be.
Amazing presentation. I couldn’t remember watching a really nice, useful and profound presentation in years...
Simple rules to be success is to understand the rules, follow it, and play with it... that’s my conclusion.
I’m always following you, Dr Watkins. Great talks!
You got it.
Confirming the way I feel about life... thank you 👌💕
Thank you Mr.Alan Watkins for the speech.
I was consulting some problem with my psychiatrist and according to her how I respond to the situation and how I solve my problem is like a 4 years old kids and she gave me some guidance how to act like my age (I am 24 years old). Now I'm getting better playing role as my age.
I've been taught that emotions are the result of what we think; irrational beliefs and cognitive distortions skew our thinking.
Learning to recognise when you are experiencing these irrational beliefs and cognitive distortions (after developing an understanding of them) can/may/might help you to reframe your thoughts so that your emotions become more positive.
It doesn't always work; it's worth a try.
It's part of a type of therapy called CBT: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
What an amazing talk! He's so funny and makes it seem so easy!
I just... just... LOVE IT. It´s amazing
This is fascinating. I'd rather change 'control' of my emotions to 'recognise', I would like that concept a bit better
Controlling your emotion if at all possible would be a perfect life
We'd all be stuck on happy mode, considering how obsessed with happiness we all are.
This is the most accurate description of Buddhist thought that I've ever heard where Buddhism itself isn't mentioned.
amazing simplicity. Anyone suffering from depression should live this.
This man is brilliant
Oh, hello! I'm subscribed to your channel hehe.
I agree, and I think his point about the disease of meaning was especially important. It's easily become routine to distract ourselves from addressing the meaning of our lives.
If the truths brilliant then he is .... actually the truth is the brilliant
Choosing to be happy instead of miserable in a miserable situation is insanity. Situation won't change regardless of your feelings. Sometimes more than often the outside world is the problem. Even when you achieve inner peace and control over your emotions it becomes even more painful. In my case I sacrificed a terrible childhood and replaced it with pursuit of knowledge and what i have now is even more terrible. 21st century everyone, 21st century...
He didn't mean to say we have to ignore or suppress our emotions in situations, he meant we have to acknowledge the emotions more, what they are, what they mean. To have control over them, to understand if we really need to feel them or is it all in our head. like feeling anxious and afraid before an exam, is it necessary to feel it? If it's an actual horrible situation it's okay to feel what you feel. He meant that don't let emotions get into your head and take over.
Why do you say it's even more terrible? (asking for a friend lol)
Amazon talk... really inspiring!! Thank you! I love the analogy with the planet!
this TED talk is hugely motivating and thoroughful in making humankind discern themselves of what really they are and where they tend to reach ultimately. thank you for sharing such glorious ideas, especially the ones forcing anybody how to understand subjectification-to-objectification process transformation.
the way he just says hi to his son, that was enough to make me laugh
I am speechless...Thanks so much for sharing!!!! Exactly what i needed to know finally, i found sense to a lots!!!..Bless you Alan , thanks , i felt the love all the way here in my heart to keep forever! xx
I Just learned that emotion means energy in motion and I’m not embarrassed to admit it because I don’t let emotions control me.
experiencing suffering fully, in any psychological form , is the most precious and powerful experience we can have as humans. Not only that, like she says after a while of self training, suffering can fade away completely. It becomes only pain. And every time it knocks on your door, a deeper level of inner freedom occurs. It does not end there, il also transforms other people next to you, with out you saying or speaking nothing ... !
Excellent talk as expected from Dr. Watkins. The problems were identified quite sharply, however the solution part sounded a bit flat. Hoping for a more structured demonstration in the next talks. Peace
Great talk, and great representation of emotions and description of feelings! I can't believe I'm seeing this so late. However, I still have 2 questions.
1) How long should you allow yourself to experience the "negative" or unpleasant emotion before [consciously] succeeding at convincing yourself that you are somewhere else on the emotion map to avoid ptsd from unresolved matter ?
2) How do you go from choosing an emotion to actually experiencing it? Do you go from feeling to emotion and how ? Do you create the physical environment of the desired emotion around you? Thank you.
It's been 2yrs and still your comment is untouched 🎩 off
Still working on it
@@simonmasters3295 clintmatheny
“Hi son” was so cute. Love it
He’s brilliant! Loved this. I hope he does another talk on HOW we do this. 🤔