Narcissists Recruit Us For THIS
Вставка
- Опубліковано 24 кві 2024
- 📖 Purchase "A Cult of One": www.amazon.com/Cult-One-Depro...
🔴 New Course: Unplug From The Matrix Of Narcissism
www.richardgrannon.com/unplug...
🔴 Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at www.spartanlifecoach.com - Розваги
![ПОЛНАЯ ИСТОРИЯ ЭКЗОРЦИЗМА [Топ Сикрет]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qBySr6Bt0B8/mqdefault.jpg)
It always annoys me where so many people throw out the term narcissist without really understanding what it means. To the mainstream online audience they just think it is vanity and that narcissists love themselves. That is far from the truth, they absolute hate themselves and have very low self esteem whilst simultaneously believing themselves to be better than everyone.
If they had a relationship w a narc and has been in the cycle .. they know the definition .. otherwise , they don’t get it 😵💫
Human nature is always to strive to be better than everyone.. it starts thru parenting skills, school indoctronation, peer group pressures, social gatherings, sports, relationships... we all have to be good at something but all play a part in this game of narcissism ya either a bully or a victim and will never change!!
Fear of being an outcast is probably a good reason why one becomes one!!
Yes, as you've just explained, that is how I understand NPD. The part I am unclear on is the variations of NPD - covert, malignant etc. I need to research each of the different types.
@@mulfie4749WTF?!
Machiavellianism is little similar
I can absolutely see how narcissists are created. My father was a malignant narcissist (I say was because he died). Growing up, my real self was never enough. I was trash to him. However, in front of people, he would lie and make up a false narrative about me, in order to make himself look better. He told people I was a straight A student along with a laundry list of lies that weren't true. I latched on to that false narrative because that was the only way I could recieve his approval. Thankfully I was able to hold on to my true self (with lots of therapy, but I can see how a child would begin to attach to this false self and have NO CLUE what their real self actually is. All they know is their real self equals rejection and their false self recieves praise. Their false self becomes more real than their actual self. Those are the two voices in their head. The false self they project, and the real self they reject.
Proverbs 13:20 (NKJV)
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.
If you are careful and smart enough to get away and heal from narcissistic abuse, it's a blessing and a major accomplishment. I have lived through both sides now. Constant fight or flight for years on end and now, almost 5 years of being solitary. I won't let anyone tell me that learning to be able to be alone with no one except for yourself is not a big deal. I don't ever say anything positive about myself. So, here goes a try. I am strong enough to be able to cultivate peace that I treasure. I am getting close to 5 years of being alone 95% of the time. No, I wouldn't recommend it. But, I lived. I started changing from the inside out so, I didn't notice. Richard, I woke up today and I realized I had to mow the lawn. I like mowing the lawn. What I heard in my mind was, Carmela, you are the person that you have been praying for. You are the answer to the prayer that you've been praying. Pretty interesting message that I got while being out in nature. 🌿 I hope you're proud of yourself, Richard. I'm proud of you. 💙
I had to work REALLY hard at enjoying my own company. For most of my life I was in a state of discontent. If I was here, I wanted to be there. Etc. Today is much different. I make my own rules. Mess. Bedtime. Eating. Treating myself. My own money.
I thought i was a social butterfly when I was a partier. Once I got sober, I realized I was far from it. I love my own company, and there are SEVERAL benefits to it. Also if I wasn't any good on my own prior to adding someone to my life to compliment my already happy life, then I'm in serious trouble.
If I think being with someone will make me happy, I'm sadly mistaken. Happiness is an inside job 💯. Just my humble opinion on this and thank you for the opportunity to share on your thread.
@@terri5624 I love what you just wrote. It's all true. There is a kind of peace and joy that you get to have when you learn to be able to be alone. You don't want to give that peace up for just anything. Your text was very inspiring. 🩷🌷🌸
I absolutely love your comment! I go through stages of being messy and then deep cleaning. I broke my ankle in February and am still recovering, and the mess! Holy cow, but I am now cleaning one small area a day, and am telling myself, " That's GOOD enough." It's so freeing! I am finally getting better organized! I refuse to let those annoying inner voices get away with talking down to me any longer!
Thank you again for commenting!
Ah, the Rollercoaster. I remember it well.
Yes. I’d get the projection from my father about how worthless I was all the time. Other people’s children were always better. No matter how well I did, how obedient I was, or how much I aimed to please.
Thats very true. They make sure they keep many friends around, so when one or more catches on to them, they can cut them loose and keep the ones who either haven't caught on, or just doesn't care who they are and enable them.
Another well tempered explanation of living with a narcissist. Excellent 👌🏻
Thanks Richy, I’ve said it before & always will- you were the 1st person who opened my eyes & woke me up to get out 8 years ago 👊
THANK YOU
We, ‘the other human’ desperately try to hold onto the good side of them too. Cause the bad side doesn’t just tell THEM that they are useless & the worst. They’ll mirror back whatever state they’re in to you.
Their self hatred & misery is so obvious when you live with them that you feel drawn to compassion for such a miserable creature and try to help. But you can’t help. There’s no amount of love or loyalty or faithfulness or friendship or support or respect or time or boundaries or space. Nothing you try, no matter how long, will help them feel less worthless. And they’ll push your head under water to push themselves up when they are drowning.
It helps SO much when you acquire the skill of ‘narc decoding’. Cause their behavior & the reasons for it don’t fit with anything else you’ll encounter in the world. It’s like a foreign language 😅
They need deliverance
For real!
The bad voices are demons
Thank you, with this view on their behaviour we can clearly see that it has nothing to do with us Richard. This is very helpfull.
It’s exhausting.
always checking the fuel supply:
my ex sent me an anonymous 'Hello' - knowing if I knew it was her- She wouldn't get a response. So crafty...
Great explanation. Complete Rollercoaster ride from beginning to end.
Yep...Everybody has 2 poles to their pride but its within a so called "acceptable range" for "normal people". But for narcs it seems like the universal law of the pendulum where if it swings soo far to one side then look out! because the law says that it has to swing to the other side as well..hence you have someone who is intolerable to be around. Its sad because of their own internal suffering of never satisfying those egos.. one that you find on a throne and the other that believes themselves to be a complete waste of life.
I'm learning hard things about some sciences in order to generate ideas and thus keep this grandiose self-perception which keeps me apart from the sense of void and these bad voices.
Sadly that good voice doesn't stay and when it slips that's all our fault and that's when we get the worse bad voiced rage temper and aggression we could have.
I think this sounds like a good description of “splitting.”
Dear lord.... my. Sister..24/7...last 25 + years....a torturethon
Its called "INSANITY " simple
And mental illness.
Whoa!! 🫵 Comment made a 💡 go off inside my head .."SATAN" simple..
Thank you ..
(my logo ➡️)FOREVER BLOCKED/NO CONTACT..PERIOT!
This is what my ex-husband always described himself as " brilliant" and sexy surfer ...In actual fact...he is 120 kg and hasn't surfed for over 30 years!!!
Clear explanation, thank you
spot on
That feeling of worthlessness was placed in to me, cultivated in me, purposefully. Now I see where it came from… and I’m shedding it, day by freakin day. 7 months of no contact in a small town. Grateful to be here
The narcissist told me that there are always two people looking back at oneself when looking at the mirror...red flag
To empathize, if I was indulged or groomed to be super, Maybe I'd shun the vulnerability. This is also why I became a burn out, not able to fit in, then adapted to the counter culture. Able to bridge the gap now, studying all these videos integrating shadows. I've been torn between poles, stopped people pleasing, and stopped needing validation. "If you don't control your mind some one else will." When I take a stand I need to be on target, or whatever I believe is the target. That's all I know.
The classical concept of the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other shoulder.
Two split parts of the same ego.
There must be a reason why these people are like this after all... they are not born this way.. it must be a learnt behaviour????
.the definition: "a disorder (dis-order = chaos) due to a deficit (a gap in the basic brain's functions = an organic error causes an insufficient brain's function)".
It's a tragic state of mind, and any meltdown must be terrifying
Thank you Richard xo
Time to see that in the last days... it's time to pray for the One who can save.
2 Extremes: Positive & Negatives: Mixed signals, adding confusion into the mix. My x used to get his sources of supply to go up against me, while he pretended to be for me. I wished @ the time, I knew it was him, this whole time.
I told my narc that she talked a lot of shit when’s he was just talking to be centre of attention. Wow did I eat it back.
111 ❤ thank you. 🤟
And thanks for your time and thoughts Richard ❤️💪🔥☯️🖖🦋
Super ego: pride/shame! It's ok to have a healthy sense of pride like completing college, it's ok to feel embarrassed or ashamed for making a mistake too. But I think he's talking about the toxic extremes of pride/shame. I think it stems from the child's family/societal environment of abuse, neglect and bullying. So complicated! Love your children and provide for them in the best way you can. This is sad actually !
To continually play out the childhood messages
I tried to boost his ego. I THOUGHT he was a God to me at 1st. I wanted him to be... But that's my problem, I have BPD and we lived in a fantastical nightmare. It took way too long for me to leave and for him to let me go. Less than 2 years and we're both rock bottom. It's tragic really, but I'm working on myself so this will never happen again. I start DBT therapy next week. And I can't hardly wait to feel like I'm in control of myself again.
I hope he does too and doesn't just find another woman and start the cycle again. Neither of us need another person to be codependent with to do great things in this world, but we thought we did.
Its exhausting.
Exhausting these people 😢
They split themselves.
One of my friends is like this. Somehow I manage to tell him when he is being a narcissistic prick. Because we have a long story of an on&off friendship - I was protecting my boundaries - things got different. He realized and said to me two weeks ago: You know, I am unhappy about my life, I'm a bitter loser. You are the only person that will listen to me and like me no matter what.
His mom has Borderline PD, was a single mom of three boys (one of them doing well, second in jail, third my friend). He's just dealing with life in showing narcissistic manners. When he's in a good mood he is the funniest and nicest person to be around. I wished people that grew up without love will be good one day.
Is this not the essence of a trauma bond too? Cause is it not right to say that after narcissistic abuse...you can feel the very same way. On one side youre telling yourself that you are worth something, you are a loving person, you did right by that person as much as you could. Then the opposite side of it being, im worthless, they discarded me without a thought, what did i do that was so wrong, i feel so unlovable. Their trauma and insecurity ends up being yours and it really does seep into you. It takes such a strong mind to overcome the feelings and trauma after a narcissistic relationship. Its telling yourself everyday that it wasnt you, re-evaluating all your actions and words, fighting off feelings of abandonment after being so highly valued. Giving up the loneliness that you feel to be able to find yourself again as the ground has been pulled out from under you so quickly you have almost forgot who you were because of who you became being in such an environment. I feel pitty for them when i think of it because after you've been discarded, you get to feel the way they feel naturally all the time and its very painful and uncomfortable feeling but you have to sit in it and work through that pain to truly heal, which is something i guess they just aren't capable of.🤷♂️ Thank you Richard for all that you share...your knowledge, understanding and explanations help so much! 💪👍
How do you help a narcissist to stop destroying you and themselves in scenarios where leaving is not an option?
Oh my gosh, I saw myself in this, am I a narcissist??? 😰
Yup. It’s official. They’re batshit crazy.
What a very sad existence…
Thank you for making it a little bit less confusing
I was not put on this earth to be the gap filler in the empty spaces of another human being. It's not my responsibility to placate or stabilize these bottomless pits of inconsolable, anxiety ridden 6 year olds who never grow up.
Nice! And you're absolutely correct 😂❤😊
@@terri5624 yep- and I have declared a check mate on all who think they can play those games with my life. I definitely lost a few battles along my 55 years but I will win my own war against selfish butt holes- I don't care what "diagnosis" they have or don't have. I'm old and I have mastered the game of life. Godspeed to the ones who will flop like a fish outta water until someone kicks them back into the lake/river/stream/pond they flopped out of! 😊
@@reneehouser2925 56 here! Sounds like our paths are as similar as our outlooks! ❤😊 only the strong survive. He needed a yes woman, umm you picked the wrong door I'm afraid. Don't wish it on anyone though.
@@terri5624 hey sister soul sister! 😆 I also kicked menopause's butt, too! MMA style no gloves! No doctors, no harm, no fouls. Stayed outta jail AND the mental hospital 😆 I bought a nice kayak, ate right, not a drop of alcohol ever and pushed through it all. Not one single hot flash but there were some days... I am iron, I forge myself. Everyone around me fell apart, major life events, birth, death, a kid in college, military deployments. My family was oblivious to my personal suffering through vertigo making me crawl across the floor and anything else. Menopause was nothing compared to the hell I endured prior. It's amazing how happy you can be in the face of pain & tragedy and still cope as long as you know you're free. And you know what I'm saying 😉 zero accountability but to God is so peaceful!
I am printing this onto a plaque! Well said 😂
Recruit or capture
Thank you Richard.
This resonates volumes
Are you saying they aren’t trying to be the way they come across?
Are some narcissists consciously aware of this? 🤨
I've heard it said that some are aware, others are not. It might be that some utterly buy their own fantasy to the extent that acknowledging reality would be as upsetting as someone else pointing it out to them. It's a valid question maybe, but not integral for us to be able to cypher. Honest self awareness would be something to resist I'd think, the "good" version being the primary objective,
Eye opener for sure.
The game of hot and cold
I'm working on overcoming codependence but I think I am kind of doing the same thing you described. The narcs that abused me ARE the bad voice, the ones giving me a dark image of myself...I then cling to positive reinforcement of the good in me to try to overcome it but then when anyone points out the negative it threatens to pull me back down into the low self esteem pit the narc dug out in me. I actually don't know how to overcome this. If I rely entirely on my evaluation of myself and tell myself only good things...isn't that creating a narc shell around myself?
I think im narcissist 😢
So clearly and simply explained
I hear so much about narcissists in the negative aspect. I learned there is such thing as “healthy narcissism”.
Can someone who has NPD also be a healthy narcissist?
I think the positibe message must learn humility. Life teaches us humility more than any other message. We have to reconcile Goda image of us with all types of assaults from the world around us.
This is the kind of narcissistic concept that always confuses me in the context of the covert/vulnerable narcissist. What is their fantasy? It's obviously not seeing themselves as the most attractive or powerful or smart, what's the fantasy image of a self made victim? You're the most innocent? You're the most disadvantaged and misunderstood? You're the most abused and mistreated?
I actually think this is healthy. Nothing is ever constant
good explanation
What if the one who they recruited calls them out saying they are useless?
Until healed from their own trauma, they wouldn't have anyone like that in their vicinity. They are afraid of true boundaries as much as the next traumatized person.
They recruit slaves.
Cause I mentioned it
Yes i believe it’s an act of desperation. We just ended whatever that was, finally got to the truth of it, incompatibility, after much gaslighting, devaluation, and projection, really did a speed run lol, and I wonder why they even pursued me so much - yes I think I made the voices in their head quiet. Is that all we wish to be? A band aid until they are ready to discard us because they got their fill? They said themselves they may be a narcissist - their words when I pointed out the games - capable of some self-reflection, yet the tactics remain the same. A sick world. I pity them.
Shock is wearing off, but I don’t think I should even feel down. Who knows maybe someone upstairs is listening :) And we are well-trained now lol. If I didn’t know what to look for, I would have totally believed them at face value and felt so bad about myself!
Good riddance.
Yep Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde decusting monsters
Neuroscientists are working to discover a way to repair a deficient runways in the brain: in the anterior insula's part of the brain (inability to feel empathy).
Yes ! 😳🙄
Like bipolars, short of... 😢
In some cases it's both. Bi-polars don't always swing that far. I wonder, however, if being prescribed a mood stabilizer might help the swing.... 🤔
@estherclark820 😂 yeah right. they don't see themselves as a problem to be solved
Demonic voices inthe head👹
Runners that’s what they do
The narcissistic people I met and knew are extremely intelligent. Unfortunately they use it to control others!
I have 3 categories for highly intelligent people.
1st: The do good. Create ideas that help out or help others in many ways.
2nd: The individual. Not bad, just focused on their life mostly. Sometimes does some good, sometimes does bad. Mostly they stay centered.
3rd: The bad. Using their intelligence to manipulate and control people. Will at sometimes go to any lengths to keep that power.
I have someone I know who has a friend. She thinks her friend is really her friend. Her friend is a narcissist!
I am actually afraid if one day the person I knows tries to break away from her narcissistic friend, that her friend will hurt her or even worse.
But doesn't everyone try to incorporate what, or who helps them be a better version of yourself. Idk about y'all but the longer I listen to him the more it's starting to seem like every is a bit of a narcissist. 😂😮😢
You obviously have not been in a relationship with a narc. If you had, you would have an entirely different take on that whole topic. Trust me, you'd know it if you were. Its kind of like living in your own real time version of "The Twilight Zone". I shat you not.
And what a blessing that you haven't. I don't wish it on my worst enemy. The aftermath and disaster left as a result of the discard, is hard to put into words really. Just the facts, and my own personal experience.
Helpful.
Is the good voice the soul?
Both voices are ego and super ego…the soul only observes and doesn’t have a voice 🥴😋
Every thing we think and feel is programming..just like everything they don’t feel..was part of their programming
Or so I’m guessing 🥴🤷🏻♀️ 😂
No, theDawn, unfortunately it's the voice of the attachment. It plays like a record on repeat in the narcissist's head: between you're a god and you're nothing. Makes them despret to suck other people into their pyramid scheme for energy or loosh to fix the constant stream of emptiness that they experience.
The attachment needs love energy, since it cannot create love on it's own. The attachment especially enjoys when it can get you to convert love energy to negative, hence all the drama always surrounding narcissists.
Usually, they find a hook of truma in you to plug into.
The thing to do is to remove all emotional/mental hooks in you and to fully heal yourself.
I know easier said than done.💜
Know that these hooks are not your fault and most likely started in early childhood and were compiled upon over the years.
Forgive yourself and find true self love is what will heal you.💜😺🌌
Not really, it's a deception. Their soul wouldn't tell them they're >always< supposed to feel/be superior to others, which is universally humanly impossible.
They love the fight. Too bad
HEY BROTHER! THE TWO POLE FACTOR..IS IN AN 8 HR BOOK.
.MOSCOWS PARIS...IN THE FIRST 47 MIN
PROPAGANDA HAS PROMOTED NARCISSISM ALSO..GETTING PEOPLE TO .
BE! THEIR WORST SEVES!
THANKS AGAIN! AWESOME VIDEO!
😳
🪙
An ex-boyfriend of mine who was, in my estimation, a covert narcissist was diagnosed with bipolar late in life after a divorce.. Your video makes me wonder if many bipolars are also narcissistic or if there is a link between the two or misdiagnosis. Thoughts?
No stability . Work it out get help time out ..il talk to ya later unless you need hug to make the rage pass or hurt.whatever
WHY WE HAVE A 3 PILLAR ..FORM OF GOVERNMENT 🎉❤😊
Alter ego
I don't give a damn 🤷🤬🤬🤬🤬💩💩💩