Wow You put it exactly in words what I was feeling- they emotionally push pull you, and so you dont feel respected as a person. They do the unexpected and so you feel as if you cannot understand what is going on. And you feel shame being around them, they dont make you feel positive & confident about yourself.
not anymore... I feel beautiful cause I know who operates from within these people! We!are beautiful souls and the soul inside those people dont like it!
So like every argument we seem to have is one sided where he shouts at me how I’m destroying our marriage with my behaviour. I just feel I am a worthless wife and no matter how hard I try to please him I fail every time. He says I’m very selfish but I try to give my all. And give up things to please him. I don’t argue back because I feel shouted down and that it wouldn’t make Any difference to how it ends. I give him the silent treatment because I don’t know what to say to change things and it makes me sad. My feelings don’t really count for Much.
...could it be all three, but done by three different persons, related to each other and myself?! Sudden changes in the body's immune function, is, for sure, a certain, recognisable sign ...and the cause could be feeling pushed and pulled, shamed and wronged... 😢
I think there are actually two different beliefs on what gaslighting is. The original one as depicted in the 1940s play. I think also, there is the new version where it excuses someone's accountability to function with other people and instead turn absolutely everything back on the other person. Its actually reverse gaslighting.
The gp who eventually (after two years!) and reluctantly diagnosed me with cfs/m.e. He gaslighted me for two years and eventually had to admit that I'd been right all along but not without claiming that the reason he didn't reach a diagnose sooner was because I was a poor communicator!
Being a poor communicator. I'm on the autism spectrum so I can relate. Society has little knowledge of what you and I are going through, so being in the majority, they get to make judgements about us as opposed to trying to understand...... it sucks! Thank goodness people like Alex are putting the info out there. Society will get it eventually and meanwhile we can support each other.
@@andreabuntpercy Thing is that that before becoming ill with CFS/M.E. I'd been a clear communicator but the brain fog I suddenly experienced was partly to blame as all of a sudden I struggled to put simple sentences together. I also had difficult putting into words what I was experiencing (many strange and frightening symptoms). I did, at one point, plainly say that I suspected that I might have CFS/M.E. (I'd just found out about CFS/M.E. myself) but the gp just ignored and dismissed me which was particularly frustrating given that he wasn't unfamiliar with the condition (at the time most gps didn't have a clue about CFS/M.E.). However, since he had a background in psychiatry, he held the view that it was all in the mind anyway (psychiatric lobby in the UK wrecking havoc in the lives of those with CFS/M.E.). "Poor communicator" was really just an excuse to cover for his unprofessionalism. I have a friend who's on the autism spectrum so I get what you're saying about people judging and not trying to understand (so easy and lazy as well). It's taken me some time, effort and a willingness to educate myself about autism in order to understand and communicate effectively with them. I find it heartbreaking how lonely life is for this person due to being misunderstood. In many respects those with CFS/M.E. also experience a lot of isolation and loneliness not only due to the limitations the illness places on us but also due to the lack of understanding and willingness of others to educated themselves in order to make life just a little more bearable. Thank you for your support. Sending support back.
@@anta3612 There's much can be said against mainstream practitioners dealing with 'new' solutions to problems they haven't taken time to learn about. I've concluded (often!) that they're not worth the knots I can get into concerning their attitudes. I wish you comfort in knowing that you know what's going on better than they do. Short story: In 1985 my 9 year old son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes (he's now 47). The head endocrinologist at the Toronto hospital clinic he was attending said to him, 'If you have to go into hospital in future for any reason, DO NOT hand over your diabetic kit to anyone else. You know your body best, and will have been treating it day by day......' As a young Mom, I was horrified to hear him saying this to my nine-year-old son, but came to realize how progressive and right he was. I wish there were more like him. I really hope you can find another practitioner half as progressive!
@@andreabuntpercy The experience with that gp was 20 years ago and some attitudes have improved since then but little progress has been made overall. I shudder to think of all the negative false narratives we've been told/fed here in the UK about this condition. It's frustrating to have to be the one to educate your gp which can only happen anyway when a practitioner is humble enough to admit that they may not have received enough/adequate training (if at all) on how to treat/deal with these conditions. However, while it's frustrating at least you can work together. I have come across some practitioners like this (humble) but most have been dismissive and none have had a long and lasting negative impact as that first gp. His attitude was very much: "I'm the professional (superior position) here" and any attempt at an open conversation got met with hostility and perceived as a problem (me being the one with an attitude problem). A truly awful experience. Am so glad that it's now in the past, that things are moving forward (even though still at a snail's pace) and that there are people like Alex, the OHC and the community he's built around it.
Well, these feelings also occur if someone points out that I was wrong or when the other person makes a good point during a discussion. I also feel "pushed and pulled" during sn argument with different viewpoints. I will also start to question my view and my understanding and either admit that I was wrong or at least that the other person has a valid viewpoint that I can tolerate, but won't adapt as my own. Occationally, it can feel as someone has been 'wronged', because of the severity of being in the wrong. It takes time to digest and maybe to adapt a different point of view, but these feelings don't have to be 'gaslighting'. Gaslighting usually occurs if someone is using emotions instead of facts to manipulate the other person ä. Teenagers do this often to their parents. They'll say: "Because of you everybody is gonna laugh at me and dislike me, because YOU don't allow me to stay at a party until after midnight." Their entire point is to tell the parent that they have to change their rule or otherwise it is the parents fault if they lose popularity with other kids. They don't use a rational argument like: "It takes 1 hour to drive to the party and 1 hour to drive back. So I'd have to leave the party at 11pm in order to be back by midnight. Could you make an exception so that I can enjoy the party until midnight and I'll promise I'll be home by 1am sharpe." Now THAT would be a rational argument based on facts without using emotions to manipulate the other person... 🤔🤷🏼♀️
Every, single, one of those signs I feel 💯.
That is natural. He is idiot. You will find fact and other will anchor ur emotion. So simply ask what I feel and what is fact
Wow You put it exactly in words what I was feeling- they emotionally push pull you, and so you dont feel respected as a person. They do the unexpected and so you feel as if you cannot understand what is going on. And you feel shame being around them, they dont make you feel positive & confident about yourself.
I do feel the three signs. The person is camouflaged that people think he is such a lovely one but I see him differently.
Feeling shamed💯
My older sister is a master at gaslighting.
So is my older brother 😢🤧🤒🥴🤧🤧🤧😭😭
Wow, that completely matches what I'm going through.
Thankyou I felt 1& 2
All 3.
not anymore... I feel beautiful cause I know who operates from within these people! We!are beautiful souls and the soul inside those people dont like it!
Does it work with parents? I can not speak around my mom, she always treats me like i'm wrong. Even when i'm in silence.
So like every argument we seem to have is one sided where he shouts at me how I’m destroying our marriage with my behaviour. I just feel I am a worthless wife and no matter how hard I try to please him I fail every time. He says I’m very selfish but I try to give my all. And give up things to please him. I don’t argue back because I feel shouted down and that it wouldn’t make
Any difference to how it ends. I give him the silent treatment because I don’t know what to say to change things and it makes me sad. My feelings don’t really count for
Much.
...could it be all three, but done by three different persons, related to each other and myself?! Sudden changes in the body's immune function, is, for sure, a certain, recognisable sign ...and the cause could be feeling pushed and pulled, shamed and wronged... 😢
me every moths i'm doing senior project....
I think there are actually two different beliefs on what gaslighting is. The original one as depicted in the 1940s play. I think also, there is the new version where it excuses someone's accountability to function with other people and instead turn absolutely everything back on the other person. Its actually reverse gaslighting.
I recognize all three signs, I’m 69 years old, now what can I do?
These people are abusing you, get away from them.. family and loved ones are sometimes the worst……..
Yes
Unfortunately all the above
The gp who eventually (after two years!) and reluctantly diagnosed me with cfs/m.e. He gaslighted me for two years and eventually had to admit that I'd been right all along but not without claiming that the reason he didn't reach a diagnose sooner was because I was a poor communicator!
Being a poor communicator. I'm on the autism spectrum so I can relate. Society has little knowledge of what you and I are going through, so being in the majority, they get to make judgements about us as opposed to trying to understand...... it sucks! Thank goodness people like Alex are putting the info out there. Society will get it eventually and meanwhile we can support each other.
@@andreabuntpercy Thing is that that before becoming ill with CFS/M.E. I'd been a clear communicator but the brain fog I suddenly experienced was partly to blame as all of a sudden I struggled to put simple sentences together. I also had difficult putting into words what I was experiencing (many strange and frightening symptoms). I did, at one point, plainly say that I suspected that I might have CFS/M.E. (I'd just found out about CFS/M.E. myself) but the gp just ignored and dismissed me which was particularly frustrating given that he wasn't unfamiliar with the condition (at the time most gps didn't have a clue about CFS/M.E.). However, since he had a background in psychiatry, he held the view that it was all in the mind anyway (psychiatric lobby in the UK wrecking havoc in the lives of those with CFS/M.E.). "Poor communicator" was really just an excuse to cover for his unprofessionalism. I have a friend who's on the autism spectrum so I get what you're saying about people judging and not trying to understand (so easy and lazy as well). It's taken me some time, effort and a willingness to educate myself about autism in order to understand and communicate effectively with them. I find it heartbreaking how lonely life is for this person due to being misunderstood. In many respects those with CFS/M.E. also experience a lot of isolation and loneliness not only due to the limitations the illness places on us but also due to the lack of understanding and willingness of others to educated themselves in order to make life just a little more bearable. Thank you for your support. Sending support back.
@@anta3612 There's much can be said against mainstream practitioners dealing with 'new' solutions to problems they haven't taken time to learn about. I've concluded (often!) that they're not worth the knots I can get into concerning their attitudes. I wish you comfort in knowing that you know what's going on better than they do. Short story: In 1985 my 9 year old son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes (he's now 47). The head endocrinologist at the Toronto hospital clinic he was attending said to him, 'If you have to go into hospital in future for any reason, DO NOT hand over your diabetic kit to anyone else. You know your body best, and will have been treating it day by day......' As a young Mom, I was horrified to hear him saying this to my nine-year-old son, but came to realize how progressive and right he was. I wish there were more like him. I really hope you can find another practitioner half as progressive!
@@andreabuntpercy The experience with that gp was 20 years ago and some attitudes have improved since then but little progress has been made overall. I shudder to think of all the negative false narratives we've been told/fed here in the UK about this condition. It's frustrating to have to be the one to educate your gp which can only happen anyway when a practitioner is humble enough to admit that they may not have received enough/adequate training (if at all) on how to treat/deal with these conditions. However, while it's frustrating at least you can work together. I have come across some practitioners like this (humble) but most have been dismissive and none have had a long and lasting negative impact as that first gp. His attitude was very much: "I'm the professional (superior position) here" and any attempt at an open conversation got met with hostility and perceived as a problem (me being the one with an attitude problem). A truly awful experience. Am so glad that it's now in the past, that things are moving forward (even though still at a snail's pace) and that there are people like Alex, the OHC and the community he's built around it.
this could be true but not if you are a close-minded person who believes you are always right.
Well, these feelings also occur if someone points out that I was wrong or when the other person makes a good point during a discussion. I also feel "pushed and pulled" during sn argument with different viewpoints. I will also start to question my view and my understanding and either admit that I was wrong or at least that the other person has a valid viewpoint that I can tolerate, but won't adapt as my own. Occationally, it can feel as someone has been 'wronged', because of the severity of being in the wrong. It takes time to digest and maybe to adapt a different point of view, but these feelings don't have to be 'gaslighting'. Gaslighting usually occurs if someone is using emotions instead of facts to manipulate the other person ä. Teenagers do this often to their parents. They'll say: "Because of you everybody is gonna laugh at me and dislike me, because YOU don't allow me to stay at a party until after midnight." Their entire point is to tell the parent that they have to change their rule or otherwise it is the parents fault if they lose popularity with other kids. They don't use a rational argument like: "It takes 1 hour to drive to the party and 1 hour to drive back. So I'd have to leave the party at 11pm in order to be back by midnight. Could you make an exception so that I can enjoy the party until midnight and I'll promise I'll be home by 1am sharpe." Now THAT would be a rational argument based on facts without using emotions to manipulate the other person... 🤔🤷🏼♀️