When Did You Realize That You DON'T BELONG In Your FRIEND GROUP Anymore?
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- Опубліковано 22 бер 2024
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My ex accused me of kidnapping our child over social media. My supposed best friend remained friends with her. We didn’t remain friends for long after that
My college friends and I kept in regular contact after graduating, and even did meetups through the year (I live out of their state, but it's only 3 hours to them.) Then the pandemic hit, and I fell out of regular contact due to a mix of pandemic shut downs and depression. When I was finally coming out of it, and tried to reach out, I found out that two of them had a wedding, Summer of 2022, so out of peak covid season, and they had invited everyone from the friend group, based on pictures I saw...except me. I had no idea they were even engaged until the series of posts. Needless to say, I fell into another depression spiral after that, and still have some bitter feelings piercing my chest when I think about them.
My last best friend acted extremely inappropriately. I dropped her, got blamed for being a bad influence, said no more friends. Every single friend I've had is either dead or turned out to be a backstabbing pos.
For me, it was the increasing levels of homophobia and transphobia within my high school friend group. Given that I was starting to come out to select people at that time, I knew it was time to split for my own mental health. Maybe me leaving made some of the others reevaluate what they were giving vs getting from the group, because it completely fell apart afterwards. The good news is that I'm still extremely close to a few other survivors of that group, and otherwise pick my friends more carefully now.
I was friends with a guy since the second grade and we pretty much grew up knowing each other all our lives. We have the same interest for the most part, like a lot of the same things, etc. And the thing is, if we're friends and I feel really comfortable around you, I may make a stupid immature joke, like, I'll fully admit the shit I say sometimes is really juvenile, but sometimes I guess what I'd say was too much for my friend and he'd give me the biggest eye roll as if he were saying to "grow up" with his expression. The thing is, he's a serial cheater. Yeah, no joke, the dude has been unfaithful to the last three or four girls he's dated, that I know of anyway, one of whom he was married to, so I find it kind of rich that he sees himself as the more "adult" among the two of us.
I've got one. I grew up with a girl and her younger sister. Lies call them Jan (older) and Jane (younger). Jan and I had always been the outcasts in school and that's why we gravitated to one another. We remained friends all the way to high school where we found different interests. We would still talk a lot but we didn't hang out like we used to. After about three years of us being out of high school, I send her a message and ask if she wants to hang out and catch up. We talked and had a few drinks. Everything went great for a few years. She and I had disagreements like all friends do, but we always worked it out. I even got really close with Jane and almost became her daughter's godparent. They had practically accepted me into their family. But it all changed one day when the three of us went to Taco Bell. Jan was dating a guy who works there, despite me and Jane warning her about him. He didn't like me from the moment he met me and always treated me like scum. Despite that, I tried to be friendly for the sake of our friendship. On that particular day, he was working the register. When I went to make my order, I ordered a quesadilla with no jalapeno ranch. He went off on me, called me slurs, and threatened me. I pulled a Karen and demanded to speak to the manager. He refused to get her. I made a call to corporate and he threatened to call the cops on me. All the while, Jan is scrolling through Instagram and completely oblivious to the situation. I begrudgingly leave and get several calls from Jan and Jane. I tell them both that I need time to cool off and Jan refuses to give me an inch of space. I turn my phone off, go home, cool off, and come back to Jane's house later to talk with her. It isn't until later that Jan came by and she was obviously on something. I overhear her boyfriend outside (because it's an old house with thin walls) and he's making an illegal deal and bragging about how much crystal he has. I give her an ultimatum and say it's me or the dealer who's gonna get you hooked. She chose the dealer and hasn't contacted me since. I've seen her in public a few times but she wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire and I'm still hurt about the whole situation so we just go separate ways.
I hope you have a good life, and good luck to Jane. Maybe Jan, if she straightens out her life.
In middle school I had this little friend group and we hung out regularly. Until they started getting into skateboarding and trick bicycling with ramps included. I'm more of an indoors type with video games, board games, and other nerdy activities. So we just went our separate ways since our interests no longer aligned.
It took me till highschool to realize that literally no one ever sought out my company like ever and that it was mostly just me following them around and shoving my way desperately into conversations seeking companionship.
And that was the arc that launched the rocket to "Holy shit I'm a lot more neurodivergent than I thought I was!"
I was a in a group with three other people. Two of them were dating, and they split up. I tried to be friends with both of them but after some crap I stuck with one of them. BIG MISTAKE. I ended up becoming some kind of sick replacement for their partner, and they basically turned me into a punching bag. I became really upset with how I was being treated, but the straw that broke the camels back was the other friend, who was not in the relationship, calling me a selfish female dog because I wanted to work on a project that we started together (and that none of them helped with anyway) and work on it by myself. Eventually I just dumped the whole group, started over, made up with the other friend who’s left the group, and I’ve been way happier since, and I’ve found my people 😊
I generally don't have friends now, i got tired of being betrayed and abandoned, it was easier to be alone
Other than 2 10+ year friends, I got nobody.
Haven't spoken to one in months because they're in the army now.
They all became shut ins that refused to socialise, or at least hang out/game with me. I was going through a depressive episode, which led me to breaking up with my bf, and eventually leaving them because I felt unwanted. About a year later, I hatched things with my bf and we got together again. The 2 people I still talk to because we actually hang out still sometimes complain about the old friend group for one reason or another. Honestly, the drama sounds exhausting and I'm glad I left knowing what I know now.
Have you considered maybe the shut ins were also depressed? You sound exhausting if you only consider your own feelings over everyone else's.
When I looked around at them one day, thought 'I am SO sick of your collective shit and have been for awhile.'
And then the pandemic hit and I just hid away with a bunch of internet friends and didnt miss the first group at all.
Another group wouldnt shut tf up about Brexit for a straight year, and when it didnt go their way, tried to patch up broken friendships with a 'Ok its done now lets all be friends.' message on Facebook.
These were the same people I'd heard them wishing people dead, or wishing people who disagreed them would have their right to vote as they saw fit taken from them, or pulling accusations of racism out their assholes and flinging them at people who just said 'Im undecided tbh' And the ones that DIDNT say this shit turned a blind eye when the ones that DID started on mutual friends and aquaintences. I decided they could all stick their falsely magnanimous attitudes where the sun would never shine, and ghosted.
1st time if was when no one in either freind group knew my actual name. One just flat out didn't know my name. And the other made up a name for me
2nd time was when I put in all the effort. I stopped putting in effort and they never messaged.
3rd time was when they kept making excuses, they were busy, they worked then, they were to dirty to have a 5 min coffee break on my birthday, and would never respond when I wanted to plan something.
My phone broke so for two weeks I was no contact. When I got a new phone, all my friends never checked on me or reached out why I was gone. Mostly seen then I was the friend who pushed myself into hanging out with them rather they invite me to hangout
In reality it's always ended from your old friends and make new one isn't easy. While online game chat with friends there well it turns into toxic drama, etc much just for a fandom and role-plays.
When one of my friends got into an accident (they're fine) and I was the only one they didn't tell until it came up again months later. Then when they didn't include me in an event we all went to and knew I was walking around alone. They didn't consider me at all with things they did at the event and it was more like "Well, we're over here."
It was a realization that I didn't want to hang out this group anymore, actually. Some friend group I made working at Amazon years ago.
Long story short, as the months went by hanging out with them at work and a bit outside of it I realized they were usually talking shit on whichever person in the friend group wasn't around. There was this one moment where it clicked, like, "oh, okay so if they're talking bad about friends they've known much longer, I don't see why I'd be an exception."
I realized in that moment, people will show you how they treat you when you're not around, by how they let you see the way they treat others when they're not around.
Read that twice if you need to. Your fake friends have already revealed themselves.
I started distancing myself from that group, and ended up quitting Amazon shortly after without telling any of them. Kinda wanted to just see if anyone would ask where I am, or what happened.
Crickets. Literally nothing.
Ran into one of them a few years later, and I guess they'd all somehow assumed I moved out of state? idk where that came from.
Funny enough, I distinctly recall one of them more or less calling the absentee friend a slut, not in a fun way.. At the time that girl was dating a different friend in the group (also not present during this obvs), then seeing them be friendly and normal afterward despite their nasty comments. And guess what? Not two years later, the one calling the girl a slut ended up getting engaged and having a baby with her. I guess he had a change of heart lol
Most of the couples in that group swapped partners and stopped being friends.
Not an anymore but more ever (which makes it magical). I have adhd so I’m not socially aware. And I’ve got some rude habits such as interrupting people. They’re all kind and understanding but don’t really know what’s up with that. They don’t do anything like that though lmaoo
Since becoming a mom it has been kinda hard to connect with my friends I have been friends with since high school. I'm the only mom in the group...is this normal? We still get together when we can, it's just weird for me now.
To the guy complaining about how he's a music artist and like his other friends would be celebrated for similar accomplishments I don't think it's that they view you differently The key difference is that most of these other people get the ball rolling themselves They proactively go out of their way to shove in the face of the other friends hey look at this thing I made don't you like it isn't it so cool whereas you are just sitting back passively expecting your friends to just follow you and share that stuff on your behalf
I bet if you went out of your way to yourself share your creations with those people they would celebrate you just like they celebrate the rest in the group especially considering it doesn't really seem like from your story there's anything else indicating that they would have a distaste of you
They moved. Things never recovered.
Haven't had friends in years
When they ganged up in me and shot me with paintball guns i was 10
5 minutes 🎉
Their childish dude bro sense of humor.
I know some occasional banter between men is normal, but if every get together becomes a roast with outdated jokes, we can't be friends anymore.
Friends are supposed the help each other get back up, not to kick each other deeper into the ground.
Just because i'm single, doesn't mean i have to listen to your gay jokes or blow-up doll jokes for hours on end.
The fact that I'm better than them which I am 😜
9
Story 2 must have been written by a 13 year old.
Why do a lot of these stories sound so much like my own friends...