i think the flag ship is the " COOCHY COOCHY COO, LOOK AT YOU, YOURE GORGOUSE AND SOOOOO FLUFFY", the battle fleet is headed by the " kill em all, let their god sort it out" so a simitry in a duality of sorts.
"Humans will not initiate first contact with newly discovered races" "Humans are only allowed to send a greeting to aforementioned races in a form of cyclonic torpedo or a virus bomb."
Humanity with dogs and cats : *Cuddles* Humanity with Pigs and Dolphins : *Cuddles* Humanity with Lions and sharks and prety much everything deadly : *Cuddles* Humanity with Xenos : *Cuddles* Humanity with Humanity : "Aight time to kill hunderts for no good reason and cause price spikes for everyone not directly involved"
Please notice the "not many", wich doesnt deny that there are people cuddeling them. If something exist, then at least 1 member of Humanity will try to cuddle it.
@@thatonedude6949 shudders.. dont remind me ,its like rule 34... i think we can call this rule 99... theres always SOME NUT JOBB!... that thinks despite how the xeno eldritch thing melts them into nutrient goo just by contact or lays egg's under their skin just from it.. they still want to ..cuddle.. it... aka the 1% of rule 99 i am happy to trade raw materials with space crawlies but they sure as fkninghel stay on ther side of my stellaris border or its exterminatus!
LOL, we are. First time I saw a snake I wanted to hold it, pet it. I volunteered at the Butterfly Pavilion to do the touch cart. I got to hold Rosie the Rose Haired tarantula and teach about her. Also hissing cockroaches, and more. Love the experience.
As much as I enjoy cute animals ... dear god, porcupine otters? Why the HELL would you pet something before knowing what it is. What next? Is someone going to try to be friends with a Krite, a Gremlin, maybe a pet Deadly Spawn?
you understand that we have ppl on this planet that willingly let themselves get bit by venomous reptiles, we have people that willingly cohabitate with apex predators and if they are killed another takes their place, we have ppl that literally stick spiders in their mouths....befriending hell hounds seems like a walk in the park fur us lmao.
Yep, sounds about right. But truthfully, in a first contact situation there are MANY things that need to be decided upon by the contacted species. Physical contact would HAVE to be one of those things.
Some of us will want to hug the cute honey badger, despite knowing full well it will maul us to death 100x10^99 times, but we will do it, because its worth it!! Yes nothing wrong with the ship name either, love this approach to HFY stories.
well if we find another who can build civilization like us and dont want eat or destroy us...surely human will become so friendly with that creature...
I have always hated those stories of humans not controlling themselves.. screeching, ohhing and ahhiing , touching. Hugging fricking control yourselves damn it. Why would any first contact team have anyone on it who can't control themselves??? One more damn trope I hate about these stories.
I know, right? It's not like every human above the age of 8 knows not to simply run up and touch/pet/hug anyone or any strange creature anyway. Heck, doing that kind of thing on Earth in likely to get you mauled; why would any human do it somewhere else?
i kind of like it, instead of stories depicting humans as monstrous killing machines, it depicts our softer sides. our good sides curiosity compassion love etc.
The whole couch story is ridiculously complex. Evangelicals will be upset if it was a male couch rather than a female couch, and Catholics will care about whether or not he was married to the couch by a priest and was on top rather than underneath. I gave up on this crap long ago, having become an agnostic while in high school.
"the Cuddle Enjoyer"well that's one heck of a name lol, but of course Humans come on strong
i bet it's a big middle finger to the law, which i love. punk ass ship, on a mission to hug.
i think the flag ship is the " COOCHY COOCHY COO, LOOK AT YOU, YOURE GORGOUSE AND SOOOOO FLUFFY", the battle fleet is headed by the " kill em all, let their god sort it out" so a simitry in a duality of sorts.
"And I'd do it again. None of you could stop me!" - Jenkins, maybe
Probably a direct descendant of Leroy.
"Doctor Jenkins, that's enough!"
It never ceases to amaze me the way humans seem to be able to survive being 10 gallons of stupid in a 5 gallon bucket.
THIS, is a bucket.
@@wrathshorts2894 Dear god
Like a monk'eigh humping a doorknob!
@@imperialguardsmen9491 there's more
10 gallon head in a 5 gallon hat
The Tau convention? *Breathes heavily in 40k*
"Humans will not initiate first contact with newly discovered races"
"Humans are only allowed to send a greeting to aforementioned races in a form of cyclonic torpedo or a virus bomb."
(HEAVY IMPERIAL BREATHING)
Or it could just be a math thing, tau vs pi
Also, Jenkins is the name of a adorable character in ME 1
I guess I know what you've been listening to, me too. The orange alien in a man suit is not at all cuddlesome, cute or rational!
when their are rules for a human not to touch something it will almost always be broken within a matter of seconds so this story would be acurate
Started with that an apple, went down hill from there.
@@TrebenWhahahaha
So true. 🤣
"The Cuddle Enjoyer"
Splendid. It is good to know the name of the vessel I will one day be serving aboard.
Aggressive xenos, kills cute space otters.
Humanity: EXTERMINATUSSSS!!!!!!
"I hereby sign the death warant of an entire world and consign a million souls to oblivion"
loved this one, now i need a hug.
I am thinking of a meme I saw where a giant shark was jumping out of the water with the words "HUG ME"
was the first name of that human crew member "Leeroy" by any chance?
The legendary Human, of which songs were written? The Chosen One who .... was a legend. The legend of the legend who... was legendary?
Probably.
@@nexusdrop7863 He just wanted to cuddle some newborn baby dragons!
Humans are like the Terran Canine. Stupid most of the time, but scary Smart when they need to be and they're Scarily protective, too.
Edit: spelling.
@@TheMonkey747 That's why we're best buds for life.
Humanity with dogs and cats : *Cuddles*
Humanity with Pigs and Dolphins : *Cuddles*
Humanity with Lions and sharks and prety much everything deadly : *Cuddles*
Humanity with Xenos : *Cuddles*
Humanity with Humanity : "Aight time to kill hunderts for no good reason and cause price spikes for everyone not directly involved"
What about roaches, spiders, scorpions, and centipedes? Not many people "cuddle" them.
Please notice the "not many", wich doesnt deny that there are people cuddeling them. If something exist, then at least 1 member of Humanity will try to cuddle it.
@@thatonedude6949 😑True.
@@thatonedude6949 shudders.. dont remind me ,its like rule 34...
i think we can call this rule 99... theres always SOME NUT JOBB!... that thinks despite how the xeno eldritch thing melts them into nutrient goo just by contact or lays egg's under their skin just from it.. they still want to ..cuddle.. it... aka the 1% of rule 99
i am happy to trade raw materials with space crawlies but they sure as fkninghel stay on ther side of my stellaris border or its exterminatus!
I like spiders alas none are cuddly :(
if there's something worth defending or petting it's something that reminds you of cute animals on earth!
Except that what is a cute animal to a human is likely a ferocious predator to any other species
@@MrNorker77 " here's a snack you cute little killer, who's a good boy "
LOL, we are. First time I saw a snake I wanted to hold it, pet it. I volunteered at the Butterfly Pavilion to do the touch cart. I got to hold Rosie the Rose Haired tarantula and teach about her. Also hissing cockroaches, and more. Love the experience.
Wish there was playlist of just stories about humans wanting to pet, and protect other species,
Jenkins: "still worth it!"
God dammit Jenkins! Now the rest of us are suffering! Lol
Of course, Jenkins are always why we can't enjoy ourselves, they go the extra mile after crossing the line!
You only delay the inevitable!
Human cuddles: I am. Inevitable.
"cuddle enjoyer" 😂
FOR SPACE OTTERS!!!!!!
Worth it!
Leroooooooy Jeeeenkins!
It would be worth it.
Damm it Jenkins 😆
Thanks for the narration!
For the algorithm!
LOL when the human ship is named "Cuddle Enjoyer"
Keep at it Skald you're doing good 👍👍
He's a party pooper.
As much as I enjoy cute animals ... dear god, porcupine otters? Why the HELL would you pet something before knowing what it is. What next? Is someone going to try to be friends with a Krite, a Gremlin, maybe a pet Deadly Spawn?
I just realized, does anyone even know what a Deadly Spawn is?
YES!
I don't think Jenkins went in to pet the spiky otters /before/ learning they were spiky otters.
you understand that we have ppl on this planet that willingly let themselves get bit by venomous reptiles, we have people that willingly cohabitate with apex predators and if they are killed another takes their place, we have ppl that literally stick spiders in their mouths....befriending hell hounds seems like a walk in the park fur us lmao.
Now I wanna pet the spiky otter.
Why are aliens crabs and not furry best friends to be.
Crabs might not be furry, but they're still shaped like a friend
The Tau Convention - the protection order for new species.
Thanks for the story 🙂🙂🙂
Yep, sounds about right. But truthfully, in a first contact situation there are MANY things that need to be decided upon by the contacted species. Physical contact would HAVE to be one of those things.
Thank you for the reading
Some of us will want to hug the cute honey badger, despite knowing full well it will maul us to death 100x10^99 times, but we will do it, because its worth it!! Yes nothing wrong with the ship name either, love this approach to HFY stories.
Absolutely HUMAN!!!
"THE CUDDLIES MUST BE CUDDLED"
Lmao that was a good one I need to share this around.
sapient space otters I want to pet
Greetings, Mentlgent!
For the Rhjyhtm that is Algo
Don't touch the spiky Xenos! OWCH!
Second HFY story on this channel that has space otters.
What was the other one?
Dang it Jenkins, you ruined it for the rest of us
Now I just need you to do the small galaxy rewrite
Yep, this feels about right!
That was GREAT!
not the first time listening to this one, an not the last
Worth It
For the Algorithm the story and the voice
Um was his first name Leroy? LOL
For the Algorithm11!
cool
well if we find another who can build civilization like us and dont want eat or destroy us...surely human will become so friendly with that creature...
We want to play with lions, tigers, bears, venomous, snakes, alligators, orcas. Don't want to eat or destroy us doesn't factor that strongly for many.
Yeah, the captain was right.
I have always hated those stories of humans not controlling themselves.. screeching, ohhing and ahhiing , touching. Hugging fricking control yourselves damn it. Why would any first contact team have anyone on it who can't control themselves??? One more damn trope I hate about these stories.
I know, right? It's not like every human above the age of 8 knows not to simply run up and touch/pet/hug anyone or any strange creature anyway. Heck, doing that kind of thing on Earth in likely to get you mauled; why would any human do it somewhere else?
That and being blatantly stupid.
i kind of like it, instead of stories depicting humans as monstrous killing machines, it depicts our softer sides. our good sides curiosity compassion love etc.
@@Amariachan I think their issue is it’s too far in this angle.
@@SuperGamefreak18 fair enough
For the average algorithm
Where did you get the thumbnail pic?
For the algorithm 👽👾🤖🌌🛰🚀🛸🌠
for the algorithm
The whole couch story is ridiculously complex. Evangelicals will be upset if it was a male couch rather than a female couch, and Catholics will care about whether or not he was married to the couch by a priest and was on top rather than underneath. I gave up on this crap long ago, having become an agnostic while in high school.
1st, 26 January 2023